65 Years of Love: Bud and Mary's Journey
Jacqui: [00:00:00] True love stories never have endings. This quote is a gift from Richard Bach. I remember being young and wanting to hurry up and find my story. Only later did I realize that it was waiting for me to be ready. And it was worth the wait. Finding our true love is the theme for today. And I've got a charming guest and a tale you won't want to miss.
Welcome to Jacqui Just Chatters. Thank you for joining me. I'm your hostess, Jacqui Lents. And I'm trying to make the world a little better, one story at a time. Whimsical episodes come out every other Tuesday. What's your story? If you've got one, reach out via my website. Now let's get chatting.[00:01:00]
Hello, friends. January is over. We never thought it would happen, but it has arrived. Amen. Red hearts are breaking out, and our souls are ready to be filled with the feeling of love. I've never prescribed the idea that this time of year only focuses on romantic love. My all women axe throwing league is giving each other Valentines this year.
Totally old school. Feels like I'm in elementary again, and I adore this. But when the perfect true love story falls in your lap, you gotta run with it, folks. My guest for this episode is Bud. We're keeping it to just Bud for privacy reasons. I am so glad to have you as a guest on my show. I am so excited.
For my listeners, if you could tell us a little bit about yourself.
Bud: I'm happy to be here, Jacqui. I guess to start at the [00:02:00] beginning, I've lived in Michigan all my life, and at an early age, I was the fix it guy in the neighborhood. And that kind of pointed me toward an education in the engineering sciences.
1943, I graduated from high school, I went into the Navy's V 12 program, which, the V 12 was like the Army's ROTC. Reserve Officer Training Corps. Oh! So they put me through college, and at the end, at, this was at Illinois Institute of Technology, at the end we were graduated and given commissions as officers in the Navy.
Jacqui: I have heard of ROTC? I never knew the Navy had one. Yeah,
Bud: I didn't know either until I got in it. But they were pretty strict. You had to maintain a [00:03:00] B average in order to stay in the program. If you missed, you were sent immediately to active duty, which at that time was the Pacific. Oh, okay. You were invited to go to the Pacific.
And RSVP was not required.
Jacqui: You were part of the V 12 program at the Illinois Tech School, and they paid for that. Yes. And then once that was done, now you had to fulfill your naval duties.
Bud: And we went through a month of training to teach us how to get around on a ship without falling off. We spent three months after that on a, on board ship.
I was on the USS Cleveland. And we sailed up and down the East Coast to various ports of call as a part of peacetime training. After I left the [00:04:00] Navy, I was offered a job teaching at Lawrence Institute of Technology, which I took and I did that for three years. After that, I decided I'd better get out into the real world and learn what an engineer really does.
So I quit teaching and joined Chrysler. Did you like teaching? I did very much, and I threatened to go back to it eventually on retirement. But by then, the engineering world had changed so much I could hardly even speak the language anymore. So I never did. I stayed as an engineer at Chrysler for the rest of my career.
Jacqui: I can imagine that things had changed. Because you told me how long That you worked in the automotive industry. I couldn't believe it. That was a long time. Yeah, why don't you tell us. How long did you work as an engineer for the automotive industry?
Bud: About 50 years. And one was full time and then partly after that [00:05:00] for part time.
Jacqui: Everyone's doing a consulting gig, even you.
Bud: Yeah, that was the latter part of the job as a consultant.
Jacqui: During this time, other things happened to you as well. You got married, and had some kids, and had the whole life going on. And actually, that's our main focus, is that part of your life. Bud and I are part of the same writer's group, and he came in, and he's been working on this memoir.
It's fantastic. Which, I had a question I wanted to ask you. Did you have a journal, or like notes you were working with? A viewer? Writing is so detailed. It is so specific. Did you just remember all this or were you working from something?
Bud: I forgot a lot, but the stuff that I wrote down, I remembered. I did have some notes, but I'd never kept a journal.
A lot of things I did, I went back and looked at my old calendars, which helps to trigger [00:06:00] ideas. But some of the stuff was just out of my memory.
Jacqui: He read to us the part about how he met his wife and The group, we were just doing the awe. And that's when I knew I had to share it with my listeners. Cause this story is just too fantastic.
Now we're going to share it with you. The story of how Bud met his wife.
Bud: This episode is called the matchmaker. In the 1930s and forties, Jim L, one of six kids lived across the street from us. Their home was a kid magnet. Partly because they were such a welcoming family, but also because they had a sunroom with a record player.
So several of us were frequent guests. That says something about what kind of people Jim's parents were. Next door were bridge club companions of my folks, and their daughter Sue. was a good friend of [00:07:00] Jim's sister, Nan. The reason for all this neighborhood genealogy will become clear in a moment. One day in the fall of 1946, my mom had asked me to borrow a card table from Sue's parents for a bridge game the neighbors were having that evening.
A friend of Nan and Sue was there, a young girl named Mary. All three girls were of high school age, so I was polite, but probably somewhat condescending, since I was a big shot college graduate and a naval officer to boot. I did not give the incident any further thought, and I learned later, neither did Mary.
But about a year later, shortly after returning from Canada, I went across the street to give Jim some snapshots of a trip that he and I had taken to visit my grandma. Mary was there, but when I saw her this time, the sky fell on me. Suddenly, she was no longer a high school kid, but a full grown, gorgeous woman.
She was probably the most beautiful girl I had ever met. [00:08:00] And when she smiled at me, my heart missed about three beats in a row.
Apparently the gang thought it was a good match. Mostly at Nan's prompting, they began to arrange a lot of mutual activities. When we went to a show, a game, or a picnic, they would maneuver everyone so that Mary and I ended up together, an arrangement I heartily encouraged. Their matchmaking continued for about a year, and Mary and I saw a lot of each other.
I had become deeply smitten by this beauty, and was sure I wanted to marry her. I didn't know how she felt, but I resolved to find out. However, there was an obstacle to our relationship's future. His name was Lee, and his parents owned a first class restaurant on the Detroit River. In addition to being handsome and wealthy, he was a nice guy.
I liked him. Unfortunately, so did Mary. On one occasion, I thought Mary and I had planned a double date [00:09:00] with Jim and a friend. But as we drove up to Mary's house, she was about to leave with Lee. When I confronted them, she insisted that I was mistaken about the day of our plans, but I knew otherwise. An unfamiliar feeling of anger gripped me.
I got back in my car, shifted into low gear, and burned rubber for half a block. But anger is a fleeting emotion, especially when directed at your loved one. By that evening, I had cooled off and wanted to repair any damage my drag strip display might have done. Next morning, I drove over to her home and rang the bell.
When she opened the door, we both started to apologize at once. The makeup that followed was prolonged and wonderful. When I told Mom and Dad I wanted to propose to Mary, they surprised me with a ring that had been handed down through Dad's family. Inside an old red velvet box, monogrammed Tiffany of London, was a beautiful blue white diamond ring that one of my ancestors had purchased for [00:10:00] his bride to be.
The silver mounting was rather worn and tarnished. So Dad had a jeweler, he knew, remount the stone in platinum with a baguette on each side. Now in Grosse Pointe Farms, there is a street named Moran. It ends on a gentle downslope at Lakeshore Drive, so that when parked on that hill, the view out over Lake St.
Clair is quite romantic. We had been there a couple times before, and I figured this was an ideal spot for the big moment. So one evening in June, I took Mary there and we parked on the hill. I had even arranged for a full moon. We sat there admiring the view and making a small talk while I worked up my nerve.
Finally, I took the ring box out of my pocket, opened it, and popped the question. When she replied with a teary but enthusiastic, Yes, I thought it was the luckiest day of my life. Now, over 60 years later, I know it [00:11:00] was.
And I will remember Jim's father's reaction when told of the engagement. He said, that beautiful girl has been hanging around this neighborhood for two years. And Bud came home from the Navy and found her. And most of all, I will remember Jim's whole family as a heaven sent catalyst. Because without them, our family would not exist.
Jacqui: I hope you are enjoying this episode of Jacqui Just Chatters. I would like more people to join our community here, and you can help. Most people learn about podcasts from word of mouth, so tell your friends or post about the program on your social media. Also, shows with more positive reviews and five star ratings get wider promotion on apps.
Leaving a quick five stars or [00:12:00] mentioning why you like the show makes a difference. Together we can spread those positive vibes. Thanks again for listening. I'm grateful for you. Now back to the show. That is a lovely story. It is so sweet. How long were you guys married for?
Bud: Sixty five years. Until she died.
Jacqui: Sixty five. That's a long time. That's longer than most. Given that track record. Do you have any tips for other people on marriage? Any advice you give? At 65, that's going to make you an expert. You get to be an expert in marriage now. What advice would you give?
Bud: Oh, there are a lot of things. I was very lucky and we were deeply in love.
But I guess my first suggestion would be make your bride laugh as often and as much as you can.
Jacqui: I like that suggestion. I like that a lot. My husband does that for me. That was one of the things I noticed first about his sense of humor. I [00:13:00] totally concur with that advice. Thank you so much for sitting down with me, answering my questions, and sharing that lovely story which is perfect for Valentine's Day.
Bud: I feel happy to have written it because it really expresses probably the most important part of my life.
Jacqui: I couldn't plan a better segue out than that. I reached out on Facebook and Instagram for stories on how others met their true love. And here are some of the results. Lois Rodriguez earns the Divine Intervention Award by meeting hers at church.
Earning the Meet Cute Award is Kathleen Pandoli. She left this remark on my Facebook page. Quote, I was on crutches, he was on a forklift, and I wasn't leaving with a no. I could so see that happening in a movie, couldn't you? Sonya steals the high tech trophy for meeting hers online. The [00:14:00] This Went Sideways honor goes to Janet Newman, whose first meeting with her great love involved him asking her to go out with his roommate.
Kara Infante nabs the Frankenstein award by meeting her husband over bodies in the cadaver lab. That's one I'd never heard before. The Love Will Find A Way Award goes to Lindsay's Literary Leanings with this story. When I was 13, my parents couldn't send me to the local secondary school. No wheelchair access.
Roy attended a school not far from my home for disabled kids. And I went there for a trial period. Boy meets girl, etc. I eventually went to another school, but we kept in touch. Then my brother told him that I had another boyfriend when he rang up one day. And things ended. He found me on Facebook 20 years later.
And the rest, as they say, is history. [00:15:00] We've been together for 15 years. Congrats! Aaron Gratton is the winner of the Try Try Again Trophy. He met his love on a blind date. After the first attempt had been canceled, best decision he ever made was to give it a second chance. This July, it will be 15 years of marriage for them.
The Give It the Old College Try honors goes to Mary Kate, who met hers on their very first day of college in an interdisciplinary engineering class. I gotta wonder what kind of pillow talk you get with two engineers. This could have been a soap opera plot award goes to Tina Hampton, who was engaged to her future husband's best friend.
Damn, girl. That's a saucy story there. J. M. gets the boss distinction for this one. Quote, We met in the mail room at work. I asked him [00:16:00] out a few weeks later because he was too shy to do it. On our first date, he asked me what I looked for in a partner. And I said, I wanted someone who thinks I need to eat more pie.
Monday, there was a pie in my mailbox. Ha ha ha ha ha. The only question I'm left with is, what kind of pie? Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I got way different answers than I expected. I hope you treat yourself kindly this Valentine's Day, my friends. Get yourself a card, flowers, chocolate, whatever's your fancy, because your greatest love should be with yourself.
Until next time, I wish you well.