Depression, why it can be your superpower & what to do to manage it

Transcript

Speaker 0:18

What's going on guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Extreme Lifestyle Living Podcast. Now, if you are caught up to date with the podcast, let's fucking go because that means this episode is gonna be super impactful compared to the last one I just dropped, which is on anxiety. And if you're not, you're watching them or listening to them sporadically, that is completely okay as well. Today's episode is gonna be the same theme as last week's, which is talking about anxiety and how to deal with it. But today we're gonna talk about depression and how to deal with it. I feel like depression and anxiety come hand in hand and sometimes we get them intertwined and we really don't know how to manage them both. I personally have dealt with. Depression a lot more and still do to this day. I don't think I get anxiety nearly as much as I do as depression anxiety. I feel like, again, like if you're listening to the last episode, you'll understand what I mean by it. Once you understand how to operate with it, um, and understand like kind of who you are as a person with it and just all the different areas of your life that it affects you, I think you can really gain an understanding and an incredible understanding and control of your anxiety on so many different fucking levels. So I think that's a very positive thing. But when it comes to depression. I think depression in my, at least in my opinion, in my experiences. Has been, uh, one of those things that's been a lot harder to gain control over because, you know, there's a saying that says anxiety is anxious for the future, and anxiety is anxious. Being anxious for things do come like, you know, tomorrow, the rest of the day and your future and those things, which is true. A lot of them stem from stress and these things like that. And, um, a little sprinkle of like, you know, your past. But depression is the biggest thing where they say you live in the past. You know, depression comes from things that has happened before, um, before today, yesterday, last year, and all these different things. And I, I completely agree. And I think the biggest thing for me with depression is it, like, it, I just from a very young age battled it. And I was diagnosed with, um, depression, um, not seasonal depression, but actual like, uh, depressive symptoms and on so many different, uh, avenues and to the point that, um, I was diagnosed with PTSD diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety, and OCD, um, stress in, in stress induced like OCD. So when I know. I'm feeling like my OCD acting up, which shows up in the form of like being super stressed on super, like super stressed on just random things. It's not like needing to do certain things like the, the crazy anxiety where, or crazy OCD where it's like I gotta like clean certain things or like, you know, do certain things in a numerical order. That's a whole different side of OCD. But when I'm feeling super stressed on like my routines and being super hard on myself of like when I do certain things at certain times, that's when I know that everything is just too fucked up for me and I gotta take a step back. Listen to my body, listen to what's stressing me out and recover. But, um, depression is one of those things where it, it's especially amongst men, it's a secret killer. It's a demotivator, it, it feels like a sucks a soia. And a lot of the times depression comes from something that has happened before and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you just have low frequency energy and that's just a product of your environment for how you grew up. Or, you know, sometimes you're just around negative people and you just never really had a lot of abundance, a lot of positivity, which is another conversation in itself. But for me personally. My under stem from just growing up the way that I did. I felt like there was always so much more to life to give, and when I started to grow up. And realize certain avenues of life. Like, you know, let's say prime example, I used to beat myself up on this a lot. Like, why didn't I grow up with my mother? Why didn't I grow up with my father and have this picture perfect household in terms of them being married and you know, having this systemized lifestyle. And you know, once I got older and realized that that has its own trauma and stress within it as well, I started to get more clear. Uh, clearer on like what kind of depression I was dealing with versus what I was identifying with. And, you know, I did have some stuff that I'm not gonna get into this podcast'cause I've shared it already on the podcast about like, how I grew up being in order foster care and just having different traumatic things happen to me, my brothers and family and things in that regard. But when things happen to you and you're feeling. I feel like the floor from underneath you is being swept away, feeling as if you have no control over, out of over, over anything in your life. Depression can be one of those things where you don't wanna get outta bed and you don't have no motivation, you have no inspiration. You just feel like there's a heavy blanket on your back and you, you almost just feel like you just wanna cuddle up and just hide away from life and run away from it. And the reason why I say it that way is because. I think, uh, depression is one of, is a silent killer, silent killer, um, especially amongst men. It's one of those things that, you know, it burdens us, you know? Why do you think the suicide rate amongst men is so high in their, in the, in their mid forties is because, and even right now it's November for Nove, uh, it's November Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. It's, uh, prostate awareness, prostate Cancer Awareness Month. There's so many things for men right now in the month. Um, it's because it's like depression comes from like a lack of purpose almost. Like why does certain certain things happen? Why does certain things gotta happen and all these different things. And you know, I feel like again, with anxiety, depression can be used as one of those things that can be a superpower if you understand how to use it. Because I believe that certain things that happen to you in the way that you experience life just gives you more. More of a resume, I guess that's a good way to put it. It gives you more of a resume, like I said in the last podcast, if you're a dull person and never had much experience or don't really think of many things, and there's not nothing wrong with you if you don't experience these things, right? Like I, I will always joke with my brother, like I was talking to his wife one day. My brother's been through a lot, he's been through an incredible, a lot of just random trauma and stress and, um, I was talking to his wife one day and she's like, I want him to go to a therapist and, you know, talk about these things. And my brother's always like, I don't give a fuck. I'm good. And it's funny because I truly do believe he's good. He just is one of those types of people that it just, it just water off his back. It's, uh, it doesn't matter to him. And, you know, I wish I could adopt it a little bit of that mindset like he did, but he was able to captivate and understand what he's been through and why, and just let it go. Some things are just what they are. And you know, when you do go through certain things in your life, it does mold you, it does shift you, it does change the state of your mind. And depression is one of those things that is like a cancer. It'll stay in your fucking mind and your soul and make you feel all these different things. And one of my best friends actually said to me that, you know, when I started my self-help journey in my healing journey, a lot of it started from like understanding my depression.'cause depression makes you feel worthless. You know, anxiety is different. Like anxiety is is different. It's a whole different demon, if you will, but. Depression makes you almost question life and I don't wanna get too deep on it and, you know, make it seem like, um. Too depressing. You know what I mean? I don't, I don't want this podcast to leave anybody in a depressive state, but you know, you almost question life sometimes. Like, is life worth it? You know, what's the purpose of me? What's the point of anything in life? And when you have had experiences that have really taken a lot outta you and have made you question certain things in life, sometimes it's hard to close those doors to stop questioning things. And one of my best friends said that that was the, the hardest thing. That was about me being in my self-help journey was that I had to answer every question. And you know, at the end of the day, some things just happen because they happen. You know? But you know, how, what do we do with that? You know? Okay. Like, sure, certain thing has happened to us in our past or we grew up a certain way and our environment was a certain way. Or like some, some someone treated us a certain way, like. You know, what do we do with that information? And I think at the end of the day, you just understand who you are amongst it. You know, and that's why I think that, you know, the way that I explain anxiety, that if you can understand what anxiety is and how it affects you, it's the same as depression. And can, if you can understand what, what affects you and why it affects you, what circumstances that, what cards were you dealt in life that make you feel certain things, then you can understand why your flareups of, of depression are gonna be that much more. A big thing, like I said, and this is one of the first things I've had to deal with, the depression, is your, your recovery protocols. You know, if you're living life. Very stressed high, like not sleeping regular regularly. You're not going to the gym regularly. You're not living a healthy lifestyle, making sure that you're, you're, you're in a good routine and you know, systemized. Then your, your depression's gonna gonna choke hold you whenever it can. You know what I mean? And I know for me personally, if I don't have a good rhythm and routine, which is why I'm trying to ace my fucking sleep right now, is I'll feel those depressive symptoms. And I think that's a big thing with depression as well.'cause. I don't wanna be biased and say with anxiety, when you have a control of it, you're not gonna experience it as much. But when you do, you'll understand it a little bit. It does. Like anxiety just doesn't hit you as hard sometimes. I mean, at least in my experiences and like when it comes to depression, you're always gonna have depressive symptoms. You're always gonna feel some sort of negativity from something when you're feeling stressed out or you're feeling tired or you're going through a lot or a tough time'cause it's your physi from a physiological state. From a mental state, you're just, it's just gonna relate to those times where you were really struggling or really having a hard time, whether it was with a partner or whether it was the way that you grew up with your family, or whether it was just whatever traumatic event happened into your life or whatever stress induced, um, time in your life that really gave you a hard time. It really made you like, you know, change who you are as a person to a degree with oppression and experience it. Like, your body's just gonna assume it's the worst, you know? So once you get experience with it, once, it's always hard to reroute the way that you, you handle it. No different than the anxiety or subconscious program. You're just gonna take it, run with it, because it's what you understood before and it's what your experiences are. But I think the biggest thing with depression is always stems from like you feel worthless. And that's what I mean about the whole. Choke hold that it puts you in because you know, let's say for example, you know, you battled anxiety, you battled depression, and you changed your life. You started, you got a better career, you started making a little bit more money where you could financially support yourself in a good manner. And again, it's not about being rich, it's about, you know, just your finances are being allocated to ways that align with. To can serve you. Let's say you had a shitty friend group, a shitty partner, or you know, shitty boundaries with your family and you got better boundaries now and a better friend group and better support structure, and you started working on your fitness, you started gonna, the gym, you started eating a little bit better. You start feeling fucking great. But there's still those days, those mornings, those weeks where you deal with like, you know, that deep battle inside where of like, is it worth it? Is it worth it to keep these boundaries up? Am I, am I right for keeping these boundaries up? Should I, is it even worth it to go to the gym? Is it worth it to track my nutrition? All these different things. And I think that in itself is the hardest thing to, to adapt and deal with when it comes to depression because it always makes you feel like you're questioning everything. And I think that's the thing that I struggle with the most, especially being at the level of life that I'm at now. All of it's a dream come true. Do you know what I mean? Like I wrote it all down on paper that I wanted to be financially free, where I didn't work for anybody, but I could compensate for my life. And again, it's not about being millionaires. I still have debt. I still pay off all these different things, but it's again, like I don't have a boss. And for me to materialize that lifestyle, I never thought it was real. When I started working towards, I started seeing success. My depression was damn near gone because it was like, fuck, it's working. But then as soon as I started to hit certain levels of life, it started to creep back up because I'm like, well, now what's the point? You know, I never, it's like a dog chasing his tail. You don't ever expect to grab it. But then when you get it, it's like, then what's next? So that's why I think, you know, when it comes to two depression. It's not something that's ever gonna go away 110%, you're gonna have symptoms from it, just like anxiety. It's never gonna go away 110%. It's gonna have symptoms around it, and that's where you gotta realize you, it's a superpower because it's gonna make you remember who you are and what you've been through. And I think in a positive way, in a positive twist, once you have your subconscious programming program to keep you in momentum and understand how much growth you've had, which is again similar to anxiety. We're talking about recovery, we're talking about physical exertion and expression. We're talking about inward and emotional expression. You know, those things there, like, you know, so obviously I said recovery is a big thing and making sure you have your day to day and week to week life in a good positive manner so you can stay in a good state for the most part. Another one is that your inward dialogue, you know, your inward expression, like are you ingesting a bunch of information that's super depressing? Are you doom scrolling every day? And then looking at other people's lives and the, and what you think is better than what you currently have.'cause at the end of the day, if you're looking at your glass half full. That little bit of extra, uh, water that could be pour in your glass. You're never gonna fill it up'cause you're so fixated on things you think you're never gonna have. You know? So are you doing gratitude lists? Are you reading and ingesting information that makes you feel good? Whether it is learning about depression, whether it is learning about things that you've been through, whether it's just listening to things that make you feel positive enough, uplifted, you know, like a podcast of a group of people that you just genuinely like, you know.'cause again, at the end of the day, you just gotta occupy your time with things that make you feel your best. And if you're ingesting a bunch of information, or not even. Articulating your, your, your internal dialogue, then it's never gonna change. You know, just because you have more success today and you maybe aren't in certain situations that cause a lot of your depression doesn't mean you're out of the gate. And I think that's the biggest thing when it comes to depression, that once you get your recovery, your day to day, week to week lifestyle into a good position that you know, it's more positive than it used to be. The next is the internal healing. You gotta do something for your internal dialogue and don't get caught up like I did, thinking that there needs to be a purpose for everything. There's, there's no, like I was in a car accident. And I got caught up for like 10 years. I was in my car accident in 2011 and you know, up until 2023, like it was 12, 13 years of me searching for purpose as to why was I in that car accident. You know, I was practically, um, pronounced dead on the scene. Why did I live? Why did I go through it? Why did I get left with pain? All these different things. Some things just fucking are what they are. Same thing if you grew up with a family that wasn't supportive or didn't have good structure and all those things. Sometimes it just is what it is. And the fact that you're aware of it shows that you have so much more power to do something with it. But we can't dwell on it any longer than it just deserves.'cause then you just give it more power, which is the, the little bit of a difference with anxiety.'cause anxiety, once you understand it, then you can kind of understand how to move forward. Whereas depression, it kind of creeps up. It challenges your worthlessness. It makes you feel worthless. It challenges who you are as a person and that your, your purpose in life. And when you're on the topic of purpose, you don't really know what the fuck to do.'cause again, when you see success and you think that's your purpose, you're gonna find a deeper rooted purpose as to who you are amongst it. And you know, that's why I use that example of me growing this life because I was like, oh, I'll be happy when I don't have to worry about any boss. Or I'll be happy when I'm not dealing with this level of anxiety or this level of depression, or X, Y, and Z, whatever it may be. And then it always creeps back up because again. Some things are what they are, you know? So I think the second thing for a fact with depression is making sure you have some type of protocol to make sure you're, you're in control of it. Which is why I'm such a firm believer of journaling, why I'm such a firm believer of practicing gratitude.'cause again, if we focus on the glass half full and we're always looking on the things that we don't have remaining to fill that glass, we're always gonna find things in our life to struggle with. Whether it's a financial thing, whether it's one to be in better shape, whether it's a freedom thing, whatever it is, whatever it is, you name it, you're gonna find it. You know, there's a quote that I love where it says, if you think you're wrong, you're right. If you think you're right, you're right. You know? So same thing if this applies with depression, that if you think you're worthless, you think you have no purpose and you think shit is fucking trash. It's gotta be fucking trash. You know? So you have to have some type of internal dialogue, um, any type of inward. Expression to help you mold these thoughts and mold these patterns to have more of a positive outlook, which is why I turn to faith. You don't, you don't have to become religious by any means, but I turn to faith because I love the daily devotions. I love reading the Bible. I love just getting my, my perspective challenged. I also have a bunch of other people's podcasts I listen to and watch sometimes to get different, you know, I call it algorithm. Different equations for me to think about life in this regard. Right? And you know, you just gotta have something that feels you a little bit inspired in terms of just changing and growing. It gives you that comfort. And again, it doesn't have to be something learning or self-development every single time. It can be something as simple as reading a fantasy book or playing a video game or something like that too. Just ingest information's through. You're just not stuck in your own brain. That's a big thing too. And I play a lot of Call of Duty just for me to get off of life and hang with my friends and play the game and just like relax, you know? So that's another inward expression. A third thing is I do believe, you know, physical movement, health and fitness in that regard is always going to benefit anything. You know, so when you got depression, it's the same thing as like, you know, and it is harder for depression.'cause when you have anxiety, it's like, you know, I feel like it's a little bit easier to just go for a walk and go for a workout and all these different things unless you're dealing with certain forms of it. But when it comes to depression and you're feeling that heavy blanket of not wanting to leave the house in all those regards, you just gotta accept, you gotta force yourself to do it. And that's why it's important for you to reflect on gratitude and how much growth you've already had, because if you've already been through the absolute worst in your fucking life, whatever that, uh, whatever those, those times of your life may be then, and maybe it's right now, you know, you gotta show that. You gotta prove to yourself and show to yourself that there is proof that you've continued to grow, that you've continued to surpass your own expectations. And I know for me, like the second I went to the gym and I know how, like you don't, you don't ever have a bad workout. No workout is ever worse than not going, do you know what I mean? There's no bad workout that's ever worse than not going to the gym. So for physical movement, it's not about the gym. It could be for a run. It could be any type of physical movement. It could be for a bike ride, it could be doing Pilates, it could be doing yoga, but some type of physical movement. Is mandatory for depression because it's a physical way that's attainable and you, it's measurable in front of you to show you that you're in control. And again, you can't let it run rampant and then you start judging yourself on that level of movement that you're doing. You just gotta show that yourself, that you're doing something to prove that you're in control. And anyone that I work with knows I always, there's always two different sides of the story. There's high standards, 10 outta 10 standards that you wanna have for the gym and your fitness goals in that regard. But the non-negotiables and intentional movements. Doesn't matter if you go to the gym every single day. Doesn't matter if you track your macros or meal prep every single fucking day. But what matters is you put intention and effort behind these things so you can prove that you're in control. So same thing as anxiety. If you're dealing with depression and you're really questioning like what's the point of certain things? Those are the three variables right there that are gonna help you stay in control of questioning the right things.'cause I think it's healthy to question your purpose. Um,'cause again, at the end of the day, our time is limited on this planet. We want to be able to look back on our life and say, what did we do? Throughout our lives, you know what I mean? Like, how do you wanna leave, leave your kids? How do you wanna leave your family? How do you wanna leave your legacy? And all those things. So if you didn't have anxiety or uh, or depression and deal with certain things and questioning life and purpose and all these different things, you would never, ever, ever in your life ever think about these things until it's too late. So why do you think midlife crisis is so high for not just men but women as well? You know, most people have kids and buy a house and, you know, financially restrict themselves so much to so many different avenues in their life that. They don't realize that they didn't live them, they didn't live their life as full as they should have until they're like in their forties or fifties and sixties. And that's usually when it's harder because being young and understanding it, and that's not to be biased with age gaps, but you know, just based on the studies and based on the research, if you're 50 years old, if. Nine times outta 10, you're in a career that you can't just change. Nine times outta 10, you get a family, you're supporting. You can't, can't just up your life up route, uproot your life and change it. You know, same things with other avenues of your life. You can't just change. You got a mortgage sometimes, car payments and all these different things. And that's a big reason why I moved to Mexico. I didn't have anything time me down. I was in a house and a lease. You know, I don't wanna buy a house yet. I sold my car, I got my business and I got my fucking, my gym bag, like straight up. That's all I got in my MacBook. So as long as I got wifi, I'm good. I don't wanna restrict myself with these things. So if you don't question your purpose and understand what it is, I think that's a really negative thing. And if the sooner you're gonna do it, the better you're gonna be able to articulate where you want to take your life, and you just gotta make sure he doesn't come the same as anxiety come at the expense of your life. And don't think too much about it. Sometimes your purpose can just be, I want to be happy content and live my life unapologetically and feeling good every day. And that could be subjective to change as you grow. But again, if you want to attach it to a financial goal, do that until it comes at the expense of your life. If you want to attach that to a physical goal, do that until it comes to the expense of your life. If you wanna attach that to, um, a family goal and a career goal and all these different things, that's healthy. It's healthy to have these goals and these milestones.'cause then you have purpose.'cause then again, if you're doing your inward expression every day with your journal routine, your reflections each week and each month you have somewhere you're moving along the lines of. So when you do have those seasons of depression where you do feel left, the kind of feel left and right and you'll feel good about yourself, you have a metric of measurement to look at it and compare it to. So I hope that makes sense. That's all I got under depression. The thing about depression and talking about it compared to anxiety, I feel like sometimes it can be a little bit harder to understand for me to un like kind of articulate it sometimes. And like, you know, I am kind of dealing with some of these symptoms right now. So even me sharing this episode, it's a little bit harder for me to kind of articulate it. So I feel like I ramble a little bit more than I would've liked to, but that's just me being real'cause I'm in the trenches of dealing with it with you guys. But I can guarantee you if, number one, you have a recovery protocol that helps you manage your stress, going to sleep the same time every day, waking up the same time every day, you know, having your. Your daily, your weekly, your monthly habits, and make sure that you have an infrastructure to be in a good position that's gonna help you stay in the best position possible. Number two is if you have anal word expression, whether it's journaling or reading, or some type of ingestion of information to help you internal help your internal dialogue, that's gonna help you. And the third one, which I think is the most important for depression, because it's more tangible and you actually can get your hands on it, is working out and moving your body.'cause those things there is always gonna help you. Just release some stress, which again is related to depression and those different things. But I hope you guys got some takeaways from this. I'm really excited to kind of release, I'm really excited to fucking release these episodes. I always love talking about mindset. I always love talking about depression, all these different things. Um,'cause I feel like they're the most impactful for everybody and I get the best feedback and I get the most fucking fulfillment and joy of it. And me even doing this episode alone about depression has helped me heal my depression. So it's a double motherfucking Miami for me. But other than that, appreciate you guys the time. Keep doing what you guys do best. We'll just leave from the motherfucking front and let's keep locking it in.