The power of clarity through reflection

Transcript

Speaker 0:04

All right. Welcome back to another episode of The Extreme. All right. Welcome back to another episode of the Extreme Lifestyle Living Podcast. Now, today's episode one, what I wanted to chat about was, honestly, I literally had it written down in the script here and I had a topic on, I don't, I shouldn't actually, I'm not gonna say it'cause I don't wanna ruin it. The ruin the surprise for you guys come, uh, next few episodes. But, um, I had a full on episode as to what I was gonna chat about. I was fully convinced I was gonna chat about it. Had my talking points. I was kind of getting into rhythm for it. And then I started reviewing my client check-ins like so for, to give you guys reference on Sundays. I like to just naturally get the entire day, um, reflected from the week, be, uh, before. And then I get the week, um, the next week ahead. I'll set up to kind of see where things are at and see what the best, um, plan of attack is right now to make sure I get into momentum.'cause I have a lot of calls on Monday. I have a lot of calls on Wednesdays and Fridays, so those three days are usually super busy. So Sunday, Tuesdays and Thursdays are my three days that I get to do a lot of administration work. So I kind of get, uh, the best flow for the day and, you know, I noticed a common theme through my check-ins and, you know, so I was like thinking about the, what I started to realize through what my check-ins.'cause Sundays and Mondays when I do my client check-ins for the most part, um, for you guys that don't know, so. I had my topic for today. I was gonna record it, and then I was just looking at the, the theme of my check-ins and seeing where everyone's energy was at. And honestly, it's February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day. So we're supposed six weeks into the year. And the theme that I noticed, which is gonna be the topic of today's episode, is just what you're capable in this life, what you want outta this life. I'm not really even sure the topic of the episode's gonna be a hundred percent, but I just under, I just know this one thing for sure, for fucking certain. Whatever life that you want, wherever you are at in your life, whatever life that you want. Sorry, there's just a lot of stuff on this table. I didn't clear it off, but I was wondering what the noises was. But one thing I know for certain is the fact that if you want something in your life. It is a 110% achievable if you're willing to put in the fucking work. And you know, the reason why I think this is a theme that I've noticed in my check-ins is because everyone on the roster right now, all the clients that I'm per, uh, personally working with right now are in fucking momentum. They're crushing it. They're, they're new levels. For the workouts and taking it way more intentional, whether it's mobility, whether it's pain, whether it's rehab, whether it's endurance, whether it's high rocks, whether it's muscle building, whether it's like whatever the fucking goal is, they're making progression with it when it comes their to, to their nutrition, they're not only learning more about macros and micronutrients, whatever level they're at, but people that are at the beginning are systemizing it, their meal prepping people that are more advanced, learning about macros and micros and carb cycling and cutting and. Like all these different things. They're fucking, they're, they're, they're changing their life beyond their own comprehension. And when you think about self-actualization, you know, what, what are you becoming the best version of yourself for the gym's a part of it. You know, everything else is like your career, what you stand for, your relationship, your core values, all those different things. But you know, everything that, everything, it just comes into one, like one avenue of who you are as a person. And the reason why I wanna talk about like, what you're capable of and it, it is entirely on you, is because. You are in the driver's seat of your life, you know? And it's as far as you can see is as far as you're gonna fucking drive. And no matter what, no matter what area of your life that you're in, whether it's a fitness goal, whether it's a financial goal, whether it's a relationship goal, whether it's a life goal, whatever it is that you want to get out of your life. It is 1000% achievable. The only reason why it's not achievable is only two metrics. Number one is you don't believe it's real. And number two, you're not consistent enough in putting in the work every single fucking day for it to come to fruition. That is for every single thing in life, 1000%. Obviously, we can find a few things that aren't really realistic. Like let's say you're 40 years old and you want, and to be honest, even me saying this, I feel conflicted'cause I don't necessarily believe it. I was gonna say, let's see, you're 40 years old, you wanna go back to school to become an astronaut? Like it's not possible like it is. Are you willing to put in as much time as it takes? To become an astronaut, and are you willing to stay consistent and put in the actual work it takes to become that astronaut? Do you believe it's achievable? If those two variables are there, it's gonna become fucking true, like 1000%. And the reason why I wanna talk about this today is because everyone on my roster, and a lot of people that I'm talking to right now are absolutely fucking crushing it. They're, they're doing good. They're in momentum. They're doing better than the week before, the day before, the month before they're in, they're in new chart, new uncharted territories of their life. So everything right now is in momentum. They're feeling good, they're on cloud nine, and this is where people begin to forget why they started. You know, at the beginning everyone says they want to, like, you know, from a fitness goal standpoint, they wanna have abs or they wanna have a certain physique, like, you know, whether it's um, striations, certain symmetry with glutes as a female guys as like that X frame, a body fat percentage, a scale victory, a routine going to the gym, feeling good, victory, whatever it may be. Everyone in the beginning wants something in that regard. Once they get it, that's when the true colors start to be shown as to what you're actually doing in your life and why, like prime example, even with career, like everyone says they wanna do certain things with their job that's fulfilling and rewarding and gives them joy, but to a degree they're willing to sacrifice all of that for money. Do you know what I mean? So no different than when you get a certain physical goal or you get new money in your life, you start to really realize who you are to a a t prime example. When you get in better shape in your life, if you don't maintain it. That's because you don't believe that you're worth maintaining it, and you have, um, other, there's a whole other conversation we have with that, but that also goes to show that you've proved to yourself by getting so much success in the gym and your physical fitness that then now you're looking back saying, damn, it's that easy. And then you're, you're just disappointed for taking so long to do it that all you do is go back to your comfort zone, to being outta shape and being outta. That's what's more comfortable for you.'cause you can't embrace, it's too hard to embrace the emotions of realizing you put in the work, improved within your own eyes, that you've done something when your whole life you felt worthless. You know? And there's people that end up getting addicted to certain things with the gym would become too, you know, agile with it just goes to show that they're just control freaks and have their own. In their own regards as to why they're not seeing certain levels of success. And the reason why I'm bringing this up is because every single one of you guys that's on my roster or watching my podcast or those things, I believe it from the bottom of my heart to the top, you guys are doing absolutely fucking exceptional. And the reason why that's even more important is because two reasons. Number one, the podcast episode, the topic is about what you guys are capable of, which means what are your goals? What do you see? What do you want with your life? And the second thing, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because if you look back the last six weeks of the year. You have shown up every single fucking day. You have shown up every single fucking week. You have shown up every single fucking month. You've counted your macros, you've counted your codes, you've crossed your boundaries. You made sure you stayed in the arena and consistent work workout. It doesn't matter how you feel about everything. These are facts. Listening to this, you know, proactively trying to learn about what you're doing and what you can do better after you finish goals and supporting me and doing like all of this, just aligns with you becoming the best version of yourself. So if you can look back at the last six weeks, six months, six days, and say, I've been proactively getting better than the day before, then now you have to focus on the other bigger picture, which is the topic of the episode. Why are you doing what you're doing? The more clearly you can think about why you're doing what you're doing, the better you're gonna articulate that end goal. That's gonna make more sense as to what you need to do right now, because if you're doing fucking great right now. And you don't know where you're going and have that extra fire to continue to push, then you're eventually gonna get stagnant. You're gonna get comfortable, you're gonna get complacent, and then you're gonna lose some of the fucking goals that you've got right now, right in front of your face. Then you're gonna be left with disappointment. Then you're gonna be left with shame. You're gonna be left with guilt, self-criticism, all of these different things. And you know, the reason why I say this, because it's so easy to change your fucking life. A lot of people, just like I said, they don't believe that they're, they're able to do it and they're not consistent enough to do it. And a lot of people ask me like, how do I stay? So motivated and, you know, just so aggressive towards my goals and my boundaries and my systems. It's because of this exact thing I'm telling you about. Why are you doing what you're doing? If you, if like, you know, right now in the beginning, tracking your macros and learning about nutrition and meal prepping, it's'cause you wanna feel better. You want to know more about nutrition than you do now. You wanna look in the mirror feeling your clothes and all these different things and feel good. You know what I mean? Going to the gym as well, like, you know, at the beginning getting uncomfortable and trying to learn it. Like it's because you want to feel better, you want to have more muscle definition, more muscle mass. You wanna feel stronger. So there's a deep reason why you have clarity behind there. Same with your relationships or your career, like let's say career.'cause it's super easy. You know why you're doing that? Because you want more money, you want more freedom, you want more control. Same with your relationships. You want more fulfillment, you want for, you want more joy. So it's like. You're willing to put in the work on these avenues for these things, but if you don't continuously work on what those things look like for you, then you're never gonna have clarity as to how to continue that success and continue that momentum and put rhythm and reason, and and, and, and just kind of importance and value in putting in the work, tracking your macros, and meal prepping. Once you're committed to your fitness goals, you do that for the rest of your life. You never not do that once you start the gym and start strength, strength training. Theoretically speaking, you never put that down. Do you have seasons where you're going more often than not? Other seasons? Not as much. Of course that's his life, but it never leaves the arsenal. You know, especially with a relationship. If you and your partner have a big conversation about self-respect, boundaries, fulfillment, and joy, and all these different things, once you guys have those conversations, that's the standard of your guys' relationship going forward. Doesn't change, doesn't regress. Uh oh, excuse me. So. The reason why I'm so successful, and I don't wanna say that because I don't, I feel kind of arrogant saying that, saying that, but the reason, because I just don't like toot my own horn, to be honest. Um, but the reason why I've seen so much success, the reason why I've been so consistent is because I know why I'm doing it. Every single day I talk to you guys about doing my journal routine, that's my reflection for the day right there to see, okay, these are my goals, these are why I'm doing it. And then I get that reflection as to where's it at in that time and space. Because day one saying You want this by day 60 is fucking easy. Day one of the year. This time at three day 6, 3, 6, 5, this what I want. The end of the year is easy, but doing that on day 60 amongst 365, day 90, amongst 365, day 180 amongst 365, day 300 or 365, do you really know where you're at? Because when you're doing the work and you're showing up and you're putting in the fucking work, and you're accumulating success, and you're compounding stress, and you're compounding wins, looking back, you gotta be able to reflect and see how well you're doing. But then being able to look ahead to see how much further you gotta go, not in a negative way, so you're not seeing success, but again, that natural reflection, understand why you're doing it, and if you don't have belief that you're worth what you're already chasing right now from a small level of fitness school, and I'm gonna call'em small levels,'cause to lose 10 to 15 pounds for your first time. That's a small level goal. Once you realize you're capable of losing that,'cause the second part comes after that is how much more are you capable of? Do you know what I mean? Same with you want a relationship that's more respectful, full of love, and full of joy, fulfillment, and good energy. Once you realize you're capable of that, you want more of that. Do you know what I mean? Same thing when you got freedom and your boundaries are protected and you're feeling good with eating food and you're protect. You're just, you're protecting your space and time and making sure you're feeling good. You're meal prepping, you're seeing success. You have that balance with eating out and enjoying what you want. Once you have that, you want more of that. That's why I'm saying like a lot of you guys just think half pic, half the uh, pictures is getting to the first part of your fitness goals and getting in control, but that's when things become unimaginable and you can change your life beyond your own comprehension is if you continue just to con, just continue to push. I didn't sit here and say I one of the coaching business and say I want to step on stage and body build and say I wanted to have a podcast where I record it and talk to people about my vulnerabilities. When they do in life, I start off with. I wanted to feel better mentally through depression and anxiety.'cause I had my own issues. I wanted to feel better physically by, by just learning about nutrition and getting into the gym. And then eventually, like, you know, I got in a relationship with Emma. I wanted to become a better man for her, myself and what we're, what we represent as a collective. So then those three avenues became a progressive day to. Week to week, month to month reflection and just accumulation of me growing into the man that I've becoming. And as I hit goals, like prime example, my first physical goal was to get a bicep vein. Once I got that, the second goal is I wanna get veins or get abs. I, once I got abs, I was like, well, what else can I do? How much body fat can I lose? Once I did that, I was like, oh, that's the same as doing a bo uh, bodybuilding show. What's it like to step on stage? Step on stage? What is it like to actually try and compete and win? I won. So now it's like, hey, now what I wanna do is like, I wanna go and try to win it overall and look back on my life knowing I gave it to my own relationship goals. Same thing realized me and Emma were getting together. There were some core principles and values I had that didn't nurture our relationship or benefit where we were going in our life. So like I bought self-help books, I sought like forms of therapy and mentorship and you know, looked internally to figure it out. And once I got one thing situated, I learned about how much more of a man I could become and how much more rewarded I could. Feel and how much more fulfilled I could feel in different areas. So I kept progressing on those things to eventually being now to have a podcast to talk about my experiences and help lead other people about what I've been through.'cause I've learned so much about it. Do you know what I'm saying? And even with me and Emma in our relationship, we're in such an oil, smooth oil, um, machine. Like it's. So fucking great because our communication is intact, our respect is intact, our core values are intact. We know what we need from each other and ourselves individually because we progressively work. It didn't happen overnight and they weren't the first, first goals. Even from a career standpoint, like me doing this podcast as a coach, running a business and like all of these different things, like I didn't wake up and be, I want to have my own business. I want freedom. I want financial freedom. I wanted to be in control, but I didn't. Saying I'm gonna be an online fitness coach that's running it through Instagram, and I have clients that I'm training for fitness and I have a podcast like that wasn't the goal. The goal was to start to try to find something, which ended up organically through me healing myself. Became the podcast. The podcast became a, uh, part of something on social media. Started posting about. After two, three years of that, I had a handful of people that continuously asked for me to help them. I'd started to help them. I invested into learning how to help them better and then so on. It continues to go for, and the reason why I'm giving you that is like a little bit of a rant and clear is really clear on that is because starting and having the goal is number one, step number one, and you've got all you, all of you guys listening to this and watching this and ones that I'm working with have already done that. So you pat yourself on the back, you graduated. We're not thinking about that no more. The second step is like progressing and challenging yourself from nutrition workouts. You know your boundaries from fulfillment or rewarding yourself and make sure your energy and time and space is protected in your, in your life, so you can look back and make sure you lived a fruitful, abundant fucking life. That's step number two, and then learning about that is step number three, which is the progression of understanding. It's gonna be a continuation of this journey for the rest of your life. Boy, you gotta reflect and give yourself that belief and give yourself that praise and give yourself that consistency to put in the work. There's nothing in life that's amazing and and incredible, and that's fucking great. Comes easy and is given to you. Anything comes easy, is not fucking good, and it's not. The longevity behind that isn't good, even when your fitness goals. Why do you think it takes so long to build muscle? Why do you think it takes so long to lose a bunch of body fat? Because anything that comes fast is not good and not sustainable. So. I really like just looking at this common theme of the check-ins and honestly, I just, this is the message I'm gonna give a lot of my clients as well. It's just like fucking believe in yourself. Like now is the time to throw gasoline on that fucking fire of that belief and go, go in even more, like learn more about what you're doing. And even if it's not, this is the thing. Like, some of you guys kind of get mixed up with that, that question of, okay, how do I, how do I learn more? Like what? I can learn more about macros and micro growth. I can learn more about strength training. I can learn more. That's not, the more that's not just the more, the more could be about who you are as a person, as a woman, as a man, and how you identifying your own fucking skin. Like do you know yourself to a T? Do you know what makes you cry? Do you know what makes you motivated? Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know? You're gonna do when you're 95 years old and look back on your life. Like, do you want kids? Do you want, do you not want kids? Do you want to travel? All of these things, like when you put yourself in a position of authority, I guess that's what I should have been trying to say this entire time. When you put yourself in the position of authority within your life, that journey is forever, and you've gotta believe in yourself. All the fucking time is stay consistent. No one can ever give you something that you've never given yourself. So if you're looking for love, you're looking for praise, you're looking for validation, you're looking for health, looking for abundance, you're looking for peace, you're looking for all of these things. You have to give it to yourself first. And the journey of the fitness. And wanting to be better physically is such a huge catalyst for that success overall, that you can't underestimate the value of just giving yourself that praise and being more consistent and just challenging yourself to continue that growth. Because once you ahan, once you achieve the growth that you never thought was imaginable, and you're not thinking of that next level. That's why the old versions of you creep back up. The anxiety, the depression and self, uh, the, the self-criticism, the, the, the, the guilt or the shame, the, the, all the depression, the imposter syndrome, all these things creep back up'cause you're not proactively managing it. Same thing as an injury. Like if you have an injury, you've had surgery, you've been in a car accident, you have some type of body flare up that happens. It never goes away 100%. It just goes away longer each time because you learn how to live around it. So you're gonna wake up with days of anxiety, you not feeling good enough. You're gonna wake up your knees, your hips, your back, your head might hurt. But that doesn't define you. What defines you is your continuous consistent effort for yourself to believe in yourself, to show up every single fucking day and be the best friend yourself. And that's all I got. I'm sorry if that was a little bit of a rant in 16 minutes, so I do apologize. But again, like I had the whole topic, I had everything written down here in the book, but I just, I felt it was so much more impactful to talk about something like that off the top of my head. Because you guys are all in a position right now, six weeks into the year, like you guys have no idea how much can change in a year. There there's a quote that goes, people over. People overestimate how much they can get done in five years and underestimate how much they can get in one year. And I'm saying that right now, looking at my life as in like, I'm absolutely in awe of it every single day. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, which is why in this same fucking little book here, I do my gratitude list every single fucking day. So I remind myself, yeah, I want to go farther in life. Yeah, I want to be better in life. Yeah, I wanna make more money. Yeah, I wanna be in better physical shape, but that doesn't deny all of the growth that I've already had, which makes it that much more better to continue that fucking growth. And that's what I want you guys to take out of it. So let's keep leading from the front, setting the standard, and keep fucking going. Let's go.