Life comes in waves - How to navigate them & stay in momentum

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

All right. Welcome back to another episode of the Extreme Lifestyle Living Podcast. Now, before I even get into today's topic, I'm not gonna, uh, I'm not gonna lie, I'm loving everyone's feedback on the videos because it is a son of a fucking bitch to upload these sometimes. Um, not that it's relevant, but there's just a lot of extra data that has to go into it because the size of the file, which makes, like I said, no relevancy to any of you guys, but, um, honestly, it is the biggest reason why I didn't do it in the first place. But I just love getting everyone's feedback, people sending me the YouTubes, um, YouTube videos that I'm putting out. Um, and it just, you know, it's good. It just like, I love to get the feedback because I just love the impact that it has.'cause I genuinely get a lot of fucking fulfillment from doing this. It's like a, the, it's like a self therapy session and it's. Self and I get to just share my thought processes, things that I'm going on throughout life and, you know, um, things I'm working with with people in real time. You get to discuss it and just the impact on it's invaluable. Um, it's a natural motivator for me, but, you know, it's, it's March 19th right now when I'm recording this. We're about done the first quarter of the year and there's a conversation that I feel like is super relevant for everyone right now that has been. Locked in since the beginning of the year and, you know, I don't really know what the topic of the episode's gonna be, but it's about like, you know, and like, again, got my paper here because I'm locked in trying to fucking actually, uh, make sure that I take things super, super serious because the feedback is funny. Like the, not that this is relevant either, but it's gonna be correlated to the topic, is like, you know, the feedback with everything is I get to look at. Which episodes do better for feedback and impact. And I get to use that data to make sure that I'm doubling down on some of those topics that we're talking about. And nine times outta 10 when I actually have talking points, the feedback is better from two standpoints, one, my energy around the entire topic gets a lot more personalized.'cause I have my personality into it, but I'm also a lot more structured. So you guys get a lot more impact and more tactical advice, which I think is a, is a double whammy in my opinion. But, um, the, it's, it's really about like, you know. Life comes in, seasons, you know, comes in waves. And right now we're about to finish our big first wave of the year, and I'm looking at that from a quarterly perspective. There's four quarters throughout the course of the year. Three months, three months, three months. Three months. The first three months are just about done. Like I said, it's March 19th right now, and I wanted to talk about this three stages. Of when your life goes in seasons and your life comes in waves, there's always three stages of this wave. And the reason why I'm explaining it that way is because if you are actually trying to progress and be a better version of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever it may be, there's gonna be seasons of a lot of fucking work. There's gonna be a lot of seasons of a lot of fucking overwhelm. There's gonna be a lot of seasons of just self-doubt, questioning who you are and digging up things that you may not want to be talking about or, you know, reviewing in your life and reflecting on. But nonetheless, if you're actively. Or proactively, I should say, trying to become a better version and moving forward each day, whether it's even 1% better each day, you're gonna be going through these three stages of life, uh, from these seasons, because again, stage number one is usually a stage where you're most motivated, you're goal oriented, you have a clear vision, you have a game plan. You know what it is that you need to do to get to where you want to be. Theoretically speaking, using a fitness goal. You know that stage one for fitness school is always the motivation to change. You're looking in the mirror, you're realizing you're not. You're not where you want to be. You want to challenge yourself. You get the blueprint. Your intentions behind what you want to do are super, super fucking clear. You see everything you wanna do. So that's stage number one. And that's the same as the new year. You know, everyone was in stage number one as soon as the new year started, where they're motivated, they're goal oriented, they're inspired. They have that. Fly under them. They're ready to put in the work. They're challenging themselves and they're like, yeah, I'm gonna go fucking take everything I want and more. And that's the most exciting stage. That's the same as the relationships, the honeymoon phase where everything's exciting, everything's new, it's a new car smell. You get a new car, same thing. You know, anything that's new, anything that's motivating, anything that you know is gonna change life for the better and ultimately make you grow as a human being, you're gonna have that natural spark in the beginning. That's stage number one. I like to say that usually lasts for three to four weeks, which is why I like to look at the year from a quarterly perspective. So January, that whole month, everybody's on fire. Everybody's showing up, everyone's boasting about what they're doing and what they're gonna do all year and how well they're doing. And they're, they're just trying to prove to themselves and everyone around them that they're doing their work. And there's nothing wrong with that. But what happens is stage two comes and stage three and stage two is when you gotta really start showing up. Prime example with the fitness goes as well. Um. Just'cause you track your nutrition for two to three, four weeks doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna get in shape. Go to the gym for three or four weeks. Doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna get in shape. Start saving money for three or four weeks. You're not out of debt, you don't have a shit ton of money. You're not gonna get more education at four weeks. You know, maybe some certificates, different conversation, but nonetheless, you know, it's not enough time in the actual arena to see the change. So stage number two is when you really gotta start doing the work, you gotta start being consistent. You know, you start seeing a little bit of success, but you're like not seeing enough success that's life changing. So you're not really as motivated in the beginning, you know, maybe you lost five to. Maybe like three to five pounds the first month, and now the next month's a little bit harder. But you know, this is when you're working out. This is when you're tracking your food. This is when you're reading, you're writing, you're doing all of the things on paper that are gonna give you this win and stage. Number two, you know, depending on how deep you're taking your goals, and I'll give you some examples. That could be four weeks, that could be six weeks, that could be four or five months in itself. It really just depends on how many goals you have. If it's your first year ever taking your life super serious. And what I mean by serious, I don't wanna say like, you know, you're not taking your life serious if you're not like, you know, being the authority and taking charge in all these areas. But when you really, really look at your life from a lens of like, I'm in control of everything. My finances, my emotions, my moods, my physicality, and everything in between. It's a different level of commitment you're taking. You're not selling your soul for anything short other than what you think you deserve and you're willing to go forward. So the reason why I'm saying it that way,'cause, and again, it's not to shy away from the value of going after fitness goals, but you know, getting in shape is one thing. Um, losing fat is one thing, um, you know, but to advance your career. It's another thing to advance your emotional intelligence and your emotional state to help with, you know, articulating your emotions inward for yourself so you feel more peace and fulfillment inside to be able to articulate yourself or your partner, your friends, your family, relationships to be better. That's a fucking whole other thing in itself, you know? And then if you have any other traumas, like what if you're dealing with. Um, like, you know, for me personally, like, you know, I always like struggle with the same things of like growing up with trauma, with like, you know, foster care. You know, mom lived a certain way, dad never met him. Things like that. You know, I know some people go through grief, bad breakups. Like, there's all kinds of different things, you know, and I don't wanna shy away saying that if you look in the mirror, you're upset and just attacking your fitness goals is one thing. But some of us are super ambitious. I know when I started. It was accumulation of everything I wanted to change my career. So I took over mentorships and took over much of certificates. That was one avenue of my life. I was doing an intense rehab process and protocols with my, um, personal trainer that I still work with, um, that I've been working with since 2018 for these rehab protocols. So I was super into that. I was also trying to work really well at work to progress in that actual job I had before actually leaving. And all on top of that I was trying to be a better person for myself and, you know, my relationships, everyone around me. So I was doing a little bit of everything at once. So the reason why I say it that way is because. The consistent work in stage two is when you guys start to do as much as you can with as much information as you have. And I like to just use the example for the fitness goals because it could be fucking three hour long episode of a podcast. I start breaking down, you know, your mental work, your emotional work, your spiritual work, your career work, your milestones, all these things. So I'm gonna relate it just to fitness, but usually with the fitness stage two usually asks. Again, it depends on how big your fitness goals are and how, like, how like, um, adherent you are to the protocols. But usually four to six weeks, you know, you really lock in on, you know, doing your meal prep, you're really locking and going to the gym consistently and you really lock in just like you know your boundaries to protect that space. Saying no to so many different events, that's why. Statistically speaking, February 14th, kinda like the Valentine's Day area, six weeks since the year started. That's the, that's the second big drop off rate for people taking their goals Serious. Three, four weeks is the first big drop off, and then it's, um, around the six week marker. So usually that is part of stage four when you gotta be consistent. To push through the kind of boring stages, because like I said, at this point you're doing all of the work, you're reading, you're writing, you're protecting your boundaries. You're just saying no to everyone around you. You're saying no to yourself, and you're doing the work that you need to do, and you're seeing some success. But at that point. You haven't seen life-changing success. You know, let's say you're taking a course for work, you haven't got that promotion yet, you haven't graduated that program yet. You're just still reading all the material. Same with nutrition. You haven't got shredded yet or built a bunch of muscle yet. You're still in the trenches working the metabolism, getting, you know, used to meal prep and learning macros and micros and meal plans and everything in between. Same with workouts. You're still progressing. At this point, you would've only done. Maybe one or two programs at the beginning of the year. So you still haven't even really did a bunch of strength and conditioning programs and protocols in the gym. So you're still very new into it. So stage two is when you start to almost, I don't wanna say lose motivation, but that's also where stage three comes into play, where you guys start to lose like nothing again, not losing motivation, but lose clarity as to what you're doing in the beginning. Stage one, you're super motivated, you're super clear. You know exactly what the intentions and energy is and efforts are for every single action, every single fucking day. As you progress to do the work, there's gonna be a part where you start to get conflicted because you are seeing success. You have to reflect on that success and give yourself permission to be happy for that success. But alongside that, you gotta look at your life for what it is and still realize you're still not happy with certain things. And that's the dynamic that most people start to burn out. And that's stage three. Stage three is you're overwhelmed. You're burnt out, you're not reflecting as much as you should to be proud of things and you know, to see where you, where you gotta be else and, and go else in your life.'cause the big thing with fitness goal is, again, we keep it simple and clear is. Around six to eight weeks, most people start to give up on their fitness goals.'cause like I said, you're not, you haven't seen enough success. It's around week 12 to week 14, you really start to see that life changing success. So that little hump of stage two of doing the work, and even though you're not seeing as much return on investment as you want, that's, that's where you gotta do the work the most. But again, that leads into you being overwhelmed.'cause you're gonna question why you're doing it and it's gonna lead into burnout.'cause you're gonna be doing meal prep and you know, staying up late and getting up early to go to the gym. You know you're gonna be doing a bunch of these different things that you're not used to doing, you're not accustomed to doing. So it's organic to get overwhelmed. The biggest thing with stage three and being overwhelmed and you start to question yourself is just making sure I'm like actually articulating the thing I want to hit hit across right now. But is it because, yeah, stage three is you're consistently doing the work. You feel better, but you're still not where you want to be as, so you don't know what to do with those emotions, you know? How do you stay committed to a goal? That you know is progressing, but it's only time on you side to do it. And then that's when you get kind of, again, you gotta be able to reflect stage three. You're either gonna fold to the overwhelm, fold to the burnout, or you're gonna really learn how to nurture your soul, nurture your, uh, nurture yourself and reflect and understand what you gotta do to go forward. Because at the end of the day, no one. Changes their life within four to eight weeks. That kickstarts a lot of people. But if you wanna change your emotional state, you wanna make more money, get a better career, you wanna get better relationships. It takes years to do these things. It takes months to build foundations. It takes years to implement them in your life. It takes like a ton of fucking time, and that's why stage two when you know you're showing up as seeing a little bit of results, leading into a little bit of burnout is super important for you to realize that burnout and overwhelm is a healthy sign that you're working and you're ambitious and you're trying to show up, but you can't let it fold to you. I get overwhelmed all the time. That's why I look at it in quarters, because usually stage three is usually a third month. So if you can look at your month, your years and quarters, you can almost anticipate at least once a quarter you're probably gonna get a little bit overwhelmed or you need a vacation, you need to take time off and there come. That's what I mean about life comes in seasons. There's seasons of being motivated, showing up. Doing more work with than you can fucking even imagine is possible. Then there's seasons of enjoying that work because, you know, you can't fucking be 10 outta 10 every single day. And then there's those seasons of, you know, reflecting on that work and really figuring out what else is next. Because without the reflection process, without the burnout process, without the overwhelm process, you're never gonna find your ceiling. And that's the most important part that I love about, you know, this whole concept of being ambitious and taking advantage of your life is because. It comes in waves and you're not gonna feel a hundred percent motivated all the time. You know, there's not. There's gonna be times when you fucking feel like ass and you hate doing shit. Even like, it doesn't matter how small it is, like nutrition, you're not gonna be happy to do meal prep every single fucking time. Like I've been doing meal prep, counting my macros on and off, literally since I was 21, going on 10 years. And I still get stressed about it because it's just something that isn't annoying. It's like I always related to getting gas for your car. It just is what it is. You're gonna have days you don't mind getting it. There's gonna be days you don't wanna fucking do it. But the big thing with getting overwhelmed is like, you gotta learn to have a healthy relationship with yourself to realize that that is your ceiling. And once you find your ceiling for how hard you can go in the gym, how much, uh, how much education and, you know, um, adherence you can do to nutrition protocols and saying no to everything around you. And then don't even get me started on the whole like emotional intelligence. You know, your self-actualization, your, your, your careers and like what you wanna do for fulfillment and being happy with your life.'cause that right there, like when you find your ceiling as to what you're capable of for those things, that's when you really start to do that deep and emotional work as to what actually you need in life and what you value and what you want. And the reason why that's so important is because once you reflect. And, and like review the overwhelm, review why you got burnt out, review your processes, your day-to-day activities, your algorithms that you're following each day to, you know, hit your nutrition, to hit your workouts, to keep your boundaries strong and build that life. You're gonna find clarity every single time you burn out as to what? Gotta get better. Well, I gotta get systemized. Who gotta get dropped off in my life? What do I gotta do better for myself? And that's that repetitive process as you have, as to how you continue to grow. You don't just sit there and say, I'm gonna get in the best shape of my life and just walk into it. You don't sit there and say, I'm gonna have a better relationship with people around me, or I'm gonna be in a better relationship with myself, or whoever that relationship may be with whoever it may be. And just, it happens miraculously like it has to be. Done through effort and intention every single day on your end to be able to be being in those positions to take advantage of those opportunities. And it just, it doesn't happen overnight and there's gonna be trials and tribulations. There's gonna be good days and bad days, but I can promise you, if you can understand that life comes in seasons. It will always be better because you're meant to feel like shit some days and you're meant to feel great on other days. You know, life is all about being con consistent. That's why the whole concept of not winning every day is about winning more often than losing.'cause then throughout the course of the year you can look back and understand you did most of it, you know? And if you can stay strong through those, those those really troubling times with a lot of overwhelm, you can push past barriers you never even understood is real. And that's when you start to unlock new levels of life and really get selfish and arrogant. I don't wanna say arrogant, but you just to selfish with your time.'cause you realize how. Capable you are. And when you're willing to reflect on what you're not doing well enough in your life with the stress and being proud of the growth you do have alongside wanting more. And I know that may sound complex, but once you can kind of get in that fine groove, the world is literally yours. And it's literally that simple. It's just really hard navigating it when you're emotional state is so high, when you're so stressed and so overwhelmed. But if you can find those subtle shifts. And continue to stay forward and continue to move forward and continue to stay consistent. You will be absolutely amazed as to how fast your, your life can change in such a short fucking time. So those are my three stages on overwhelming life. Um, I think the big thing, like I said, is hitting that overwhelm stage and ceiling is good because you're maximizing your output. That's what you want to be. You don't want to be, you know, never knowing if you've pushed yourself to the, the brink of, you know, how far you could actually like, push and do the work. Um, so doing that is super, super good. But again, you can't let that. Be the reason why you fold and then don't continue to see success within that. Overwhelming stress is a lot of positivity. If you can reflect and be proud of the work you've done for attempting it, you know, that takes a lot of courage. But then also look at it through a lens of what can I do proactively to get better for myself? And there's gonna be a lot of clarity in there if you can be honest with yourself and actually embrace those emotions, you know? But other than that, appreciate you guys all let you continue to do what we do best as you leave from the front, inside the standard. And if you ever need anything, you always know, reach out. Let's fucking go.