Street Farbrengen Episode 98: I forget to use my mind!”

Ever walk out of a great shiur or powerful davening totally on fire… and by 11:30 AM you’re scrolling, annoyed at people, and can’t even remember what you decided that morning?

That’s where this week’s Street Farbrengen starts.

Reuven puts a raw question on the table with Zakaria:

“How come I learn every morning that the mind is supposed to direct the heart… and then, in real life, I forget to even use my mind?”

From there, the conversation goes deep and very real:

• The to-do lists and lofty decisions that somehow evaporate between Shacharis and lunchtime
• Whether our davening is an “escape pod” or actually meant to bridge into the days sales calls and disappointments
• And the bigger question: am I the same ‘me’ when I’m learning Chassidus as when I’m stuck in traffic or dealing with a delayed deal?

Is the problem that we don’t know enough, don’t daven deep enough, or is it something more subtle about identity and default programming?

Hit play on this episode if you’ve ever wondered why your Chassidus feels crystal clear at 7:30 AM… and like a distant dream by the time real life shows up.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Zakaria, I have a confession in the in the way of a question. How come I always lose myself in a situation and I forget what I know about the cardinal rule that the mind directs the emotions? I completely forget about it, and it only becomes something I know in the morning when I'm learning with you. But the rest of the day, I don't seem to be able to use that information.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

That uh he was complaining to Hashem, you know, you put taivas in the world and you put Hashem in the books. And he says, if it was the opposite, it'd be so much easier to overcome the Yet Sahara. And you're misunderstanding what I'm asking. I'm not talking about my Yet Sahara.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

I'm not. So then explain why. I'm I'm saying, in other words, what you're saying is true. If I was like digging in with my mind, don't do that, don't go there, and then give those whole long, you know, dissertation about it, and then you would be able to tell me, yeah, you know, God is in the books and and and the realities in front of you. I'm talking about, I don't even do the don't go there. I don't and then don't go there and all that kind of stuff is not a Hasidishaproach. Hasidisha approach is turn your mind towards something else, in particular, that very uh unusual subject called God. But that's I asked the I I started giving a women's share in uh in the show that I go to, and I asked the women, when you were in seminary in high school, how many times did they tell you to think about God? And they all said never. That's what I'm talking about. It's like if you if I change what I'm thinking about. When I'm going through something, let's say something's bothering me, and I want to like, I don't know, punch the guy next to me because he's being obnoxious during duvening. There's a lot of those kind of guys, that's what I call them. Uh and I don't punch them, but I can easily just go to a different direction. Forget about the guy. I can just go to a different, but I forget to do it. It's like almost like, you know, um, I don't know what to be equivalent in a kind of a secular fashion, but do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

I I I mean, obviously, I I think that's human. I I think it's interesting how you're phrasing it. Human? Human. Human. You default to your natural programming, and you have to do an exorbitant amount of things.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Well, my question is not why do I default to my natural programming? I learn this stuff every day. No, I got that. So why don't I at least like remember something and say, oh, I could do this now.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Well, I mean It bothers me. I I it should it should bother you. Thank you. It should bother all of us because why?

SPEAKER_03 3:51

What do you care about what I go through?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

No, I don't Yeah, no, I don't give her whatever. Anyway, but uh we don't say that for a letter without it. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't think but but what so so the first thing that comes to mind, and and this is just the cop-out excuse, then I'm gonna just give you an out for. Is that okay?

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Cop out excuse.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Um I'm reminded of what it says in Tanya about the fact that the avoida of the bainini can be tripped up by thinking that you should have the avoida of a tzadic. And because you think that you are holding at a level of itsadic, you get depressed when you fail or when you have an issue that you're not initially overcoming. So what I'm what I'm trying to get at and and bring to you trying to get at all is you can have your natural inclination and state of meetos of your default programming. It's how long do you dwell on it when you do remind yourself you're not hearing me.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

I'm not talking about whether I'm having some kind of um illicit arousals of my heart. I'm talking about how come I don't implement my brain.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

What I'm saying is you potentially are implementing your brain, but it just may take a minute because it is not a natural program.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

I know you like to whitewash things, but no, I don't. That's what I'm asking. You're telling me, oh, maybe you do. I don't.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

You don't ever, you don't ever take a minute.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

I don't say ever. I'm talking about the times that I don't, which is fairly often, is I kind of forget what I know. I'm learning it, I'm talking it out every single morning. And then it's like it's like it almost never happened. That's what I'm asking. It's frustrating. It's like, it's like that, you know what a comparison may be? You make all these decisions uh to do X, Y, and Z. Not only do you not do them, you forget what you decided that you were gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Well, but that's insane. But that's why you have reminders. That's why you're supposed to have your little mission statement on the wall and you're supposed to read it every day, and you're supposed to have all of your positive information. Because the because the reality is you forget. You forget, and you don't really believe it to the point where it's because it's not ingrained in you where that becomes saying you so you believe it, but it's not epidemias. If that's how you want to type it, it's the way it is. That is the type. Yes, yes, okay. It's it's again all of the positive affirmation, I am great, I attract abundance, and like, okay, because you don't feel great, because you don't feel abundant, you say it and you attract it. That's how they phrase it, and they they they do all those things, but I'm saying again, the have deal, but you're saying the things, but are you imprinting them onto you where it becomes your new default way of thinking? And the answer is you're saying no, and that's frustrating. And by the way, I completely understand. I'm I'm right there with you. I deal with horrible, horrible things and go right and go right back to my default programming.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

So you're not going back to your default programming, you're not getting out of your default programming. Well, well said. Okay, so my so then the question is at 7 30 in the morning when you learn Jasidis for a half an hour or whatever you do, then you dove in. What's the space between that and when you go out into the world in that space? What's the strategy so that you fill that space and it gives you the ability to remember what you learned that day?

SPEAKER_00 8:03

His point in this. That's during dovening. Well, it's between Davening. I'm saying it's before Daven. Okay, fine.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

And then you diven. I'm asking you the space between dovening and going out into the world, how do you bring along the subtleties of the stuff that you learned? The obvious stuff like, you know, don't steal or something, is you know, it's the double push it that when it faces you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

You told me we're not talking about taivas. You're talking about reacting to real life situations, frustration.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Let's say, let's say, let's say you were working on a deal, Zachary. Not me, not me, somebody else. No, no, no, no. You're working on a big deal, Zachary, and it gets pushed off. You thought it was gonna come in today and it got pushed off. And you go, I'm so you've told me this before. I'm so upset. Now, that it was pushed off. Now, this morning we learned everything's a girl practice, how come it's not I'm not asking you how come you got caught by the by the disappointment. How come you didn't you forgot the information? That's what I'm asking. How do you rem how does a chassid bring from the potential because all learning that that's one of the things we've spoken about before, and it's a big thing for me. Learning the Mimer doesn't create the reality, but we think it does, because it's like, wow, that's a great idea, and I'm all enchanted by this great idea. The ribbon said an amazing thing. What a pshat. What is varatvara? Wow, bah, bah, blah. Good. But that doesn't create the reality. How do we go to the reality part? I don't want, I don't want, I don't want that Chasidis for me should be like, you know, Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz, and it's all a dream, if you can re relate to that example. I don't know about the people listening, but you've kind of got that back. It's one of my favorite movies, is is Wizard of Oz. I'm not surprised. Yeah, you're not surprised. Um of all the characters.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Is it the lack of the head and heart or like courage? Which one?

SPEAKER_03 10:19

I relate to Toto the dog. Anyways, we're we're we're waxing off into the weeds of the golf course that I was referring to before. But seriously, how is it because everything is is separated? In other words, when you're learning, you're learning, and then when you go, you go, and there's no like bridge. And how do you bridge it? Is that the idea? And you think that you feel it's separate? Like what is going on?

SPEAKER_00 10:46

I mean, the the bridge to those two worlds, I believe, is the whole avoid of dira batachtinum.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

I don't want to hear your philosophy. So what's the bridge? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

So so what I'm saying is Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

It's such a baltchuva. Yeah. It's the it's you're a baltchuva because you know what? A guy who grew up in Oli Toir in Crown Heights his whole life would never say such a thing. Oh, it's a Dira Batachtin.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

No, but my first of all, we we talk about it like every week.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

So it's not talking about the the sentence. I said your response to it. Go on.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

My my thought about it though is your your mission in this world is to bridge those two things. Thank you very much. That's why I'm asking the question. I don't need you to tell me that. Well, um, but it's also to understand the difficulty in it that the world is challenging you.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Rabbi, you sound like a chubad rabbi on Q. And what I'm trying to say is to defend everything. I'm not asking you for defense.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

How you're asking for skills and for ideas. I know I don't got any.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

You don't got any. Nothing. Oh, so that's it. Like it never bothered you? It bothers me all the time. So let's now ask. Okay, so listen, stop right there. Stop right there. This is perfect. The example I gave about after you finish dovening, you're going into the world and you dr and you have some kind of real life situation that pops up and you forget everything you learned. I get that. You just said to me now that you don't know, and I don't know the answer of how to do this, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

I was asking, how come I forget it? Now you're saying I don't even know how to do it. If I don't even know how to do it, that means that both of us never gave it any thought.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Well, I wouldn't go that far because there's there's step one one of learning it. We did that already. Okay, there's step two of thinking about it. Yes, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 12:44

So I'm saying all these steps are I uh you're defending again.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Because because those things haven't worked. The things that I've done have not worked.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

But not because they haven't worked. I'm saying You learnt it, you thought it over again.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

And I'm still having the same structures.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Because you didn't go no, because you didn't we didn't go to the next step, and that's the step I'm asking about. What is that necessary?

SPEAKER_00 13:07

So I always thought that this may be because I didn't learn enough, or because I didn't think about it enough, or because I didn't divin well enough, that that was the reason why.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

But you're saying those things are No, it says in Chasilis that if you dove in a deep way, it's gonna affect the rest of your day. This definitely says that. But but no, I think in a certain way the answer may be is that when we're divining, and if you we're talking about if people are uh don't learn Josidis and don't dove in in a way that you learn Josidis at least a little bit, then there's nothing to talk about anyways. Sure. So the person, how often do we learn Josidis and we doveen? And maybe we even daven with a geschmack. But l khatchila, it's a it's like your little dome of silence that you have, and then I'm gonna go into the world, and that's something different. That's something disconnected. In other words, l'chhathila, it's disconnected to going out into the world. Not that when you go out into the world, how come I didn't, how come I disconnected from what I was learning and what I was dovening? But l'chhathila, while I'm dovening and while I'm learning, it's disconnected going into the world. Now you're gonna ask, what do you mean? You're learning, you're divening, why is it going into the world? And you know what? Now that we're talking about it, which is what a verbregan is, a verbrangon is like, I used to say all the time that a synagogue is like a psychiatric ho uh a psychiatrist's office without the psychiatrist. And now I'm going to say a febran is like a psychiatrist's office without the psychiatrist. And we just talk it out and then eventually comes up with the answer. We learnt this. That we learnt this in the Mimer. It just occurs to me that the Mimer says that what is the Rebbe the Rebis. We go back to that funny example about these two. I don't know where you got it from. Two Schlochem sitting like overlooking the Pacific coast somewhere in California. We saw a picture and they're both kind of like one guy's got his knee, his leg across his knee as he's sitting on one of those Adirondah wood chairs, and he's got a bot a little wine cup, and the other guy's got a wine cup, and he goes, The Rebbe's so cool. You know, anyways, I'm sorry. So we learned this. The Rebbe says, he asked the question, it says in Chasidis, that what is the mean of a haftekla? You have to love God with all your heart. Says the Magid, how can you command a feeling? Either I love you or I don't love you. You know, you can't make me love you. It doesn't happen. Got it. Okay. So the Maggad says, really, what it is, is goes on the words, he connects it to the words Shma Yisrael, that you have to be Shmah, you have to do his boiliness, and then Velhafta has sham alakha. And then you'll come to love God. So the command is not to love, but the command is to think. Which goes back to my original question when you think about it. Okay. Comes to the Rebbe in this mimer and says, Yeah, but the words vahafta means it's a command. You're telling me it goes on Shema, Magad, he doesn't say magad in the minute. But but is a command. It's not an outcome of Shema. So the Rebbe s answers and says that the idea of Shma Yaswa, Shemalakane or Shemach, and you have to be Mizbayn in the Abishta is Almanas, is on the predication of you're gonna bring God into the world through you. That he brings the statement from the Gemara and the mission that God should be loved by other people via you. So the hafta shamelakh means that all those people will love God because of who you are. Okay, meaning shuv. So he's saying that Shma Ya saw Shemla Ken Shem Echad is Lichathilah in an oifen of shuv, of coming back into the world, even though you're thinking about God in Davening and you're getting out of the world, so to speak. It's like, you know, it's like the the Rabbi Akiva in the four right went into partis. So maybe that's the answer. Why are you Davening? Why are we for bringing? Are we for bringing to get away from the world? Are we davening to have a little bit of space, a little bit of relief from the world? Which obviously Shabbas, for example, does that. Or is it almanas on the assumption that I'm going to go viter into the world in a different way? So the idea is not so much maybe the answer to my question, maybe is it's not what's in between the Davening learning part and the rest of my day and what's the space in between, it's what's going on when I'm learning and Davening.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Yeah. I mean that was That was what I was trying to get to about the No, you well, you're looking at me confused. No, I the if you Daven appropriately, it will affect the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

That's what that's what I'm saying. Not that it'll affect it. That's like saying I'm gonna go to the spa and I'm gonna go to the like the guys in my shoulder Thursday night, they're gonna go to the Russian spa, they're gonna feel warm, they're gonna go into the cold plunge, they're gonna come out, they're gonna have a little chillin', they bring the little chillin' stuff with them, and they feel relaxed. That's not what we're saying. And therefore I go out into the rest of the day happy and go luck. No, we're saying that Lakhathila, your space of at the spa, is in the outside. It's not an escape. Davaning as a chassis is not an escape. That's what the Rebbe is saying to this my.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Okay, so it's not saying it's gonna impact cause and effect.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Well, it it is if you have the right kavana about what its function is supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

What do you mean it's supposed to be? Its function is supposed to be the right cavana.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Again, you you just said it. One isn't a way of escape and the other isn't a way of performance.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

So when you dove in in the morning and you're having a really if you do have, I'm assuming you have a good dove in you, wow, this is a great mimer I learned today, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you dove in with your sales calls you're gonna make that day in mind?

SPEAKER_00 19:54

I mean, I am usually thinking about this guy. No, that's not what I mean. No, I'm just joking. You're not joking, it's probably the truth, but No, I'm saying you said a good divining, no. Um Yeah, and I I do I do see that as being part of it. So it's it's either needing to be a bigger focus of my dominating. You're saying like that has to be throughout it, like, okay, this is how it's going to apply in my sales call. No, you're not thinking that in such a um, I don't mean in pratim of like the what I'm gonna say. I'm saying the the attitude and feeling, so when that situation comes up, then I'm gonna be prepared for it with the the focus of what I focused on in Davening.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

We're talking about the bridge. The bridge is not between the Davening and the work that I'm gonna do during the day. The bridge is in the Davening itself.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

I said the dominant line. So give me an example, Rubin. So let's go to one of these people who piss you off. You said that.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Why do we have to oh well you want to go back to me? No, no, let's go back to you. No, I just you know, it's embarrassing, but you're right. Let's talk about the guy who annoys me and I don't say anything. No, but it's not that. It's more of okay, I'll give you one of the things I struggle with, okay? We'll give that as an example. I'll give us an example. Okay, I have all these great um plans. I write them down. I schedule them. I come home from dominating and it's like I never wrote them down, I never scheduled them. Like, what's that all about? Including, you know, what I'm gonna learn this month, when I'm gonna learn whatever I have a whole thing that I wanted to do since Rosh Hashanah. I don't have to say what it is because it's embarrassing. So and I forget it all.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

You don't forget it, you just don't want to do it. What do you mean I don't want to do it? You wanted to do it when you wrote it down. You didn't want to do it. So how come it goes away? I mean, that's just a basic question of the fact that you're it wasn't a true desire. You didn't Oh, it was false? I didn't say false.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

I just said it wasn't true. The if wasn't true in my books is false.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

It wasn't a pinemist, like a desire. Is that better? Um You didn't have a rut sign that overtook you to put all of your kochis into accomplishing that.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

No, I'm telling you that's the way I felt, but then I it goes away. I'm telling you it just wasn't you're saying so the whole thing was like gemacht, it was like virtual reality, it was all a dremel.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

I mean, it's nice that you had that positive display.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

No, no, I don't think about nice. I hate the word nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Yeah, I mean I mean, welcome to the club. Yeah, you have all hopes and dreams and goals and visions, and then you get home and you start scrolling on your phone. Yeah, I I get it. Like, well, what the heck is that? Literally everybody in the universe's problem, except for like these crazy productive people who just like make millions of dollars. No, no, not even. It's it's just very productive people. So okay, you know, I saw a video about this once where the guy uh well hopdil, because this isn't for kiducia purposes, but the guy says, like, I wake up every morning and I run at five o'clock in the morning, and he was like, and I just I hate running. And he says, the reason I start with something in the day that he hates is because he now knows that he could overcome something that he doesn't want to do as his precedent.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

So that's like an ego boost. Yeah, yeah, okay. I mean, I hear that, but we're Hassidam, we're not into ego boost. So I don't know, I don't know what's on your list, though. So you just really maybe I don't really have a list.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Oh, well, you just said you did, but fine.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

No, I mean I do, but I don't. That's the whole thing. So maybe that's what it is. It's like, how do you have I mean how many, you know, you hear you read in Chasidis, uh, it's not only Chasidis from the Gomorrah, mitzvis Anashima Lamuda, mitzvis that people do because they learned to do them. So it's total habit. It's training, you just do it, right? You get up in the morning, you brush your teeth, you get up in the morning, you put on twillin. So your twillin is equal to your toothbrush. I mean, that's pretty sick, right? So, how do you get past that?

SPEAKER_00 24:39

You're going in a lot of directions right now. Okay, I'm this is well, what's wrong with that? I'm not I'm not saying anything's wrong, but let's go back though, because before we decided the toothbrush is like the tefillin.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

And before the toothbrush is like the tofillin sanitize it.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

And before hold on, hold on, and before is like the toothbrush.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

And before you started talking about your list, we actually were starting out with an example of something that pisses you off.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

That you are now going to figure out how to implement in the words of Daving how you would react to that situation if you were to carry that through the way you know.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

Right now I'm reacting by not saying anything. And I hold myself back. That's how I do it. I shut up. Oh my gosh, if they only knew what was going through my head.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

But but you're saying that's not how you would want to react. I'm talking about in a situation where you do not internally or externally react the way you want to react, then we could get to, you know, not doing to-do lists and etc. etc.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

So so Right. So what I said before actually makes sense. If when you're Davani, you're learning it's almanas to that God should be loved through you, like the device says from the from the Pergyavas. I think it's Perkyavis, I don't remember. Um then I would react in a very in a s I don't know exactly what, but I wouldn't react in a way that would turn the other person the person off. Right? So because I'm reacting internally, wanting to strangle the guy for being so annoying, I shut up. Which is uh, you know, it's a darga. Right. Okay. But he doesn't get to love God because I'm shutting up and looking like I don't have to bell you out of jail every day.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Yeah. Okay, fine.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

I get where you're coming from. So um, yeah, so I don't know. I just find it very frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Well, but but go back. How do you Okay, so now you're okay, now you're saying ho to you start Davening. Yeah. And you are what are you doing during the words of Davening that is going to not only not make you strangle the person, but not want to strangle the person and even maybe encourage the person to do the right thing or whatever you think is actually the or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Even if I don't do anything with the person, but just internally fine, w whatever. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

So apply it, apply your thoughts.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

I I this is what I'm telling you. So let's apply it. Let's apply it. Okay, let's try to thrush it out over there. So I'm s I'm what I'm wondering and what I'm positing as a what do they call it in science? As a theory or not? Hypothesis. Hypothesis is that when you doveen in a way that duvening is a is in one floor of the building of your life, and working is a different floor of the building of your life, then that one doesn't affect the other. You have to see it's all on the same floor. The dovening, the working, the whatever. Everything.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Okay, you already said that.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

So that's an Achtus.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

Okay, so so give me the specifics of what I want to slap the guy, and it's a it's a bad feeling that I have I don't do it, but it's a bad feeling. I don't want to have that feeling. Right.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

What and I asked originally, I could think in a different direction. Not about the guy, even. I stopped thinking about the guy. And I think in a different direction, my me dice will go according to that direction. I know that. That's simple. Right? You you if you I I I told you once before, I once when I was in high school and I was in Bene Brith, I had the schus of being a president, and I went to New York for some meeting, and all my um radical other BBYOers were there, and we went out on a Friday night, sorry, uh bar hopping, and the guy who was taking us around had a flat tire right there in the middle of New York City. I was from Canada, I'm like a little chocolata guy. And we're sitting there, and he and there's no cell phones, right? That's just like a long time ago. And his name was Art. And Art says to me, Do you guys know where we are? I said, No, because I'm not from New York. And he said, We're in Harlem. And like Harlem to me was like, you know, the boogeyman. Like, who knows what's gonna happen? We're gonna be dead by the morning, you know. This is an white year. This must have been 1974 or five. And it's like, I'm starting to freak out that we're in Harlem. But before you said to me that we were in Harlem, I was on the same street and I didn't know I was in Harlem and I wasn't afraid. So it had this whole association, obviously. And so your mind brings your emotions to where you know whatever your mind is telling your emotions based on what your mind is thinking about. So I know that. So if this guy, even if this guy who's annoying me, all I have to do based on the knowledge that I have is to say, Rouvain, um, go over that mimer again that you learned this morning. Why can't I just do that?

SPEAKER_00 30:32

So we we we already got past that.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

No, we didn't.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

Yeah, yes, we did. We said, because during your davening, you're not associating the experience of the guy annoying you and in fact. No, I'm not supposed to think about the guy. Not the guy, but I'm saying Daven? The Avis Hashem, the the Avis His Sirel, I mean the No, that's not what it means. So what did so that's what I was asking you. What did you mean by you have the Rebbe mean? It's in the Mimer. Okay, what does the Rebbe mean? You you you've described it just now as different levels of Davening life.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

What you're saying, it comes down, I think, a little bit to identity. You think you're Ruvain while he's Davening and learning, and then there's Ruvain dealing with the annoying guy in the room. No they're the same Ruvain. That's the Icker. Okay. No. There's a d because you don't feel the same way as when you're divining and learning as when you go out into the world. You don't have the same identity. That's what I'm saying. Well, I don't. We don't have a cough kill button, so you know, chill out. Thank you. I know that seltzer is really heavy duty.

unknown 31:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

Does that make sense to what I'm saying? No. Why?

SPEAKER_00 32:02

No, it doesn't because speak up, boy. Oh, I mean, I I was I was hoping you were gonna go somewhere with it that was gonna make me.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

I'm saying to you, it's not about whether your learning and your dovening is connected to the rest of the day. I'm saying it's you who are doing the dovening is whether you're connected to the rest of the day. It's the same person, or are you bifurcated?

SPEAKER_00 32:32

So what so what is the difference in your divening and learning, and then later on in the day, now that you have this perspective of identity. It's not perspective.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

What's the difference? The difference is it's equally the same. It's me who's doing the divening, it's me who's working. I got that. Well, what do you mean you got that?

SPEAKER_00 32:57

So what do you do differently? That's what I'm asking you.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

So everything else is no what I'm What do you mean, what do you do differently?

SPEAKER_00 33:06

You're making a statement that's a powerful statement.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

What I'm saying to you is when you get up in the morning to go dove, I get up in the morning to go dove and to learn, is that do I have the same sense of self as when I go out into the world and have to deal with whatever of I don't know, paying your taxes. Is it the same human identity for me? And the answer is obviously no. It's when in other words, before I was saying it's how do you bridge the learning to the working? It's not about the learning and the working, it's about the person who's doing it. Okay. Okay, and somehow subtly we think that the guy who's learning duvening is not the guy going to work. It's a different it's like wearing, you know, it's like he's an one's an actor, one's not. You know, I had a crazy thing yesterday. I was in a I was working on a film project. I was an actor without any lines. Which in the world I think is called an a w a extra. So there was a guy there, the main character in the film, and there was this dramatic scene, and the guy the actor was crying. He was shedding a tear. I said to him afterwards, I said, Steve, how do you do that? I'm so jealous of you. How do you do that? How do you just like cry like that? So he basically put it simple, he said, I'm in the here and now with what's going on. So he lives what's going on as real, right? I said, okay. And then I asked him the million-dollar question. Steve from Brooklyn didn't think he was gonna get this question. I said, Steve, do you do that when you're not acting? He goes, No. I said, I don't understand. You could be in the here and now when you're in a false script that you're making up, but you can't do it during when you're living with people, you know. No, he never it's like either he didn't or he didn't think about it, or whatever. That's what I'm saying. If Steve if Steve the actor knows how to be in the here and now so he can cry, even though it's a made-up scene, why can't he do that when it's not made up? Where's the how how he's in he has the koychis because he shows that he has the coyches when he's acting. And that's what I'm saying. What's your who's who's the ruvain? So let's go to the let's we always have to bring it back to the tafkid and the tahis hayahim. Ga'ula. Are you in Ga'ula? I know you don't do this, but are you in Gaulula when you're dr'ah when you're dancing around in a circle in 770 with a Mashik flag? Are you in Ga'ula? Are you in Ga'ula when you're learning the Rebecchas? Are you in Ga'ula when you oh I got a carkofta today? And I put a twillin on the guy. Or are you in Ga'o'la when you're speaking to Frank on the other end of the line who wants to make a deal with you? Or you want him to buy what you want to sell him. Frank Del Vecchio. Are you in Ga'ula then? So you're gonna say, how can you compare how can you compare dancing around with the Mashiach flag in 770 after Shacharis to talking to Frank Delvecchio? You're right, they're very different participants in the scene, but you're the same guy. That's what I think we have to try to get to. Is that I'm the same guy all the way through. Maybe it's as we're looking for the outside to make us somehow subtly and not the other way around. I don't know. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 37:14

Well, I I that that was the point I was thinking is do you do you see the outside as needing to confirm your identity and reality? Or do you see it as I guess the the Rebbezvort that you were just saying before from the Mimer that your job is to make the world love Hashem and so y everything that's being presented to you is not uh uh anything to do with a confirmation of you, but you a confirmation of it for its tachless to uh to serve Hashem then.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

Okay. But you're the one doing it all the way through. Yeah. I'm saying you're so okay, so so let's go Okay, I got what you said. So now life throws you a left curve ball. And you go, Oh Schnitzel, why did this happen to me? Oi, veismir, what in the world is going on here? I feel depressed because all of this is taking place the way it's taking place, and you just drop everything that we just said. Like what allows you to go there? That's what I'm concerned with. I don't understand why we so easily drop is it because we get to a certain test level? I don't think so. I think it comes I I I don't know. Maybe we love there's maybe we when we fall into that kind of like sand trap, is because the sand trap feels good. Maybe I don't know. I don't know if it's you have enough challenges in your life. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

I don't know if it's that it feels good.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

Well, it's comfortable. You have enough challenges in your life right now, and you've turned around and said to me, like, you know, you're you're and we share this, oh I'm depressed now, or I'm sad, or I'm upset. Why are you sad? Why are you upset? If you're still if you're the same guy that was doveting and you know, and snapping your fingers and singing and nigging and having a grand old time, how come not now when you're facing this ridiculous situation that you're facing and you go, oh depressed? Why don't you just kick in and say, I know what I'm supposed to do? That's my question originally. I know what I'm gonna have to do. I'm gonna go and think about something else. Or whatever. I don't know. Are we lazy? Do we don't think so?

SPEAKER_00 39:57

We're still back at the original question. You're feeling like we didn't answer anything then. No, it's all theoretical. So, what, 50 minutes in? What are we up to? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

What 50 minutes? I've been thinking about this since I was 19 years old. If not before.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

I want to go back to the guy you want to slap for a second. Because it's such a real example. We'll call him Mikey. Mikey.

SPEAKER_03 40:23

Yeah. Oh, we'll call him Frank Del Vecchio. I don't know where you pulled that name out of.

SPEAKER_00 40:30

Um I just pulled it out of the hat. But the guy the guy you want to slap. I don't really want to slap him, but well, but that's like the thing is you're not actually gonna slap him.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

Right. You I'm annoyed. You're annoyed.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Bothered. It's you're not seeing the Hishkaka Pratis in the guy. No, let's go to what it says in Tanya when somebody comes to distract you in Davenang. A goy or a child comes to distract you.

SPEAKER_03 40:57

So I don't see the shkagapratas.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

I don't see the this is making me try to focus more in my Davin. I don't even think about it. Don't even think about it.

SPEAKER_03 41:07

If I thought about it and I still couldn't get over it, that would be one kind of a question. I don't even think about it. I don't think it comes up, it doesn't come up. That's what I'm asking. And I know I have a lot of ammunition locked up in the lockbox in my in the basement.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

So in case so let's just use the answer you just gave. Which is the idea of the identity. You you're not you're you're you're bifurcating your identity. Right.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

So how do you do that? How do you not do that?

SPEAKER_00 41:34

How do you not do that? Is you wake up in the morning and say, I am worthy.

SPEAKER_03 41:40

Don't use that example. That's for the people listening, that's like a inner joke between myself and Zaharia. I am worthy. I am worthy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

So um but but but in in all seriousness, your identity.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

So so let me so let's so this is something I was thinking about recently. Let me ask you do you consider yourself Zaharia a Chabad Chasid? Yes. Okay. Can you explain to someone what that means? Who's net doesn't know what the word chabad even is or whatever? What does that mean? You're a chabad chasid. How do you see that?

SPEAKER_00 42:23

Good question, Ruven. Let's let's talk about it next week. Check in.