Street Farbrengen Episode 118 - Is it time to find a different Rebbe?

We live in a time of endless insight. Podcasts. Books. Ideas.
We know more than ever.
So why do we still feel stuck?

In this episode of Street Farbrengen, a simple statement— “It’s up to you”— turns into a much bigger question:

Why doesn’t knowing translate into change? The conversation moves from philosophy to something more personal. The difference between being inspired… and  being transformed.

And Reuven struggles with  an uncomfortable reality: I don't see how things  will be different, my frustration is reaching a boiling point. 

At least I should get mad at it, even if I can't get out from under it. 

Transcript

The Rebbe’s Blunt Question

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I came across something this week that I want to know your opinion. The Rebbe asked Rabbi Groner two weeks after the famous Sika about I've done all I can, now it's up to you. The Koya Knissin Sikha. And he asked Rabbi Groner, What's with the Chasidim? What are they doing? And Rabbi Groner apparently it's recorded as saying that he told the Rebbe they're racking their heads on what to do and how to do it. And the Rebbe said, I don't understand. I told him to learn more Torah, Davan, and spread Chasidas.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

Well, Ruvain, yeah, I've I've heard that story before, and as I reflect upon it now again, as you said it, my reaction really is actually uh I don't even know what else you could have thought the Rebbe meant.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Well, you know, I didn't understand the story, to be quite frank with you. Because the Rebbe didn't, as I recall, and it's not in front of me, the what leaped out at you in that sicha was that he's hoping for three people or ten people, depending on which part of the sicha that's going to be uh stubborn and figure out how to do this. And then he goes and says two weeks later to Rebbe Grona, what are they racking their heads about?

SPEAKER_04 1:57

Well, the sicha is that the Rebbe says in none aleph afterwards, the right after the the next two, three weeks were all about Aleph and So how do you connect the two then? Because that's why I'm saying when you uh it's funny, I actually do think I thought differently in the past, so uh appreciating my new.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Well, we know you you've changed you're molted and became a butterfly. Yeah. Do butterflies do caterpillars molt? Is that the right term? Okay, never mind. Anyway, we'll get to science one on one in another podcast.

SPEAKER_04 2:32

Um what was your question? Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

I said the rep said it should be one person, ten people, three people.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

So what uh but you're saying that afterwards Yeah, so so the idea I the the biggest or I don't know if that's even true, but a big takeaway from those two three sikhas after Kochni san, which is the the Aleph and Togola, uh, and that's what G'ula is, meaning that nothing is going to change, it's the perspective, it's the um it's the infusion of Hashem in the world itself as it is. So when the Rebbe's asking the question, which is which is actually a little interesting, why is he asking the question if the answer is learn more Torah?

SPEAKER_02 3:25

No, he didn't ask he didn't ask what to do. He said, What are the chasidim doing?

SPEAKER_04 3:31

I'm saying I wonder what the Rebas thought was the what was he wanting the response to be that the I don't know what's to do.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

You want to know what he wanted the response to be?

SPEAKER_04 3:41

I don't know what he was doing. We know what he wanted.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

We were expecting they're learning more terror and they're davining and they're spreading chassidims. And the and and I'm saying And he wanted to know how that's not what he wanted, and the chassidim were doing sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. He wanted Pshat, excuse the segues.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

So so that's why I'm saying the Aleph and Tagola is like your reality is already Gula. You're missing the learning of Torah in the right kavana, the davening with the right cavana and perspective, the spreading Hasidis.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

So, what was the difference between Kochness and before and after?

SPEAKER_04 4:28

So that's why I'm saying it's the perspective of now, it's all up to you. The agency, I mean, last week's forbringen that we had focused so much on what does it mean that it's it's all up to you, is that that's the the rebel's koichis that you're attaching yourself to that is uh making with the recognition that it's all up to you. So once you have that infusion, your davining changes and your learning changes and you're spreading hasidishes.

When Ideas Turn Into Religion

SPEAKER_02 4:58

You know what? I'm sorry to say this, but I'm maybe it's because in the mood I am in. I've said many times to you that I hate religion. Anyways. Yes, yes, you've said that before. Right. Okay, so what do I mean by that?

SPEAKER_04 5:13

Tell me.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Because we're doing it now. Do you realize that? We're doing it exactly what the Rebbe was upset about with Rebbe Gone. That's what we just did for the last five minutes. We're intellectualizing about all of this stuff, and that's all we've been doing for a very long time. That's religion to me. It's intellectualizing and philosophizing and talking about it. Okay, how did that still move you? I forget about moving me. I don't know. I was surprised by the story because surprising. Because I th I saw the whole entire, I told you the whole entire Sikha being ten people or three people, how to bring Meshik. I went and tried to do something at the time. Of course, I got screwed by the system when it happened when I went and did what I did, but that's besides the point. It's a great story that happened, by the way. But no, I don't want to share it. Okay. I've had enough sharing of my sordid past. Um, but it's like, what are we doing? It's like day in and day out, the same thing. You know, 30 years later, we're still talking about that sikha as if well, on one hand, as if it's new, like we don't know the answer to it, which means we really never answered it. Like, what in the world is going on? We are nuts. I'm starting to consider consider all of the chasidim in a stupor.

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Let's let's uh let's put that aside for a moment.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

Well, I'm just telling you how I feel.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

I I appreciate you know what? Yes, please tell me how you're feeling. I'm just telling you how I'm feeling. I just told you. I I'm just trying to not discourage that.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

I no, you're not discouraging me how I feel because I do feel that way.

SPEAKER_04 6:52

From sharing how you feel, I meant. My point here is is there a part of you that is bothered by the Rebbe's answer? Because the idea.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Well I uh am I bothered by something the Rebbe's saying?

SPEAKER_04 7:06

No, no, I don't I guess.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

The only thing actually today is hey ER today. I realize to a certain degree I'm like a closet Zionist. So that's like one of the things that bother me. I don't get this whole anti-Zionism stuff. Okay, I don't want to this like bores you?

SPEAKER_04 7:30

I I want to focus for a moment because I made a statement statement that you you you rejected immediately. You had such a guttural, you know, you know, reaction to like, what do you mean? Like, do uh how could I not like the Rebbe's answer? I didn't I don't mean uh, you know, he's the Rebbe, like he's he's the Rebbe. I don't have to explain more than that, but I'm saying, do you wish that that statement meant something more than learn more, no, more or no, like you you just you just told me that you tried to do something after Koyak Nissan.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

So that was one of the things no, I'm seeing that's why I said to you today in this era, I was surprised by that piece that came out because I remember the Sikha, and the Rabbit definitely says, Halavai, there'll be one or three or a million of people who are stubborn to bring Mashiach. What do you mean stubborn? Everyone's gonna learn chasidis and go into their chabad house and become a shliach and spread chasidis. What do you mean as one or three or two?

SPEAKER_04 8:41

So then so what does it mean?

SPEAKER_02 8:43

I don't know. I said to you, I'm what what is so difficult? I'm saying to you, I was surprised by the answer. And I told you why.

SPEAKER_04 8:49

But does that so you're saying surprised, and I'm saying, does it bother you because you thought No, it doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

And if it did, like what do you want to analyze me?

SPEAKER_03 9:01

What what's your point?

SPEAKER_01 9:04

My point is where do you want to go with this?

SPEAKER_04 9:11

What do you okay? People who try new things in Schluchus, for example, yeah, are pushing the boundary of traditional if it's new, yeah. Uh yeah, yeah, reach out and everything. And you would say that that's part of spreading Hasidis more and doing more, and that's like a a thing you could point to as okay, so they're trying to fulfill this inion of you know, doing all that they can is you were also trying to do that with your Paula that you said.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

I'm not talking about back then. What I'm talking about today.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

Well, you you also said like what we what haven't we gotten now in 30 years? So I'm trying to explore that idea. What haven't we gotten?

SPEAKER_03 10:08

Have people learned more still sitting the same stupid people living in the same stupid world? Should we be? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 10:14

So could you give me a thought or an idea, or you're totally out of ideas?

SPEAKER_02 10:18

I want you to give me the thought.

SPEAKER_04 10:21

So you're saying you're totally out of ideas?

SPEAKER_02 10:23

It's not no, I'm fed up with ideas. So what's I have ideas coming out of my ears.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

That's what I'm asking.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

I don't know. Do you know how many writ did you ever ponder how many written words there are? We'll say in Maqshavas Haya Adus, the thought of the Jewish thought, forget about Gemara. Jewish thought and Hasidis. Have you ever pondered how many words have been written?

unknown 10:52

No.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Do you think there are many? Even though the Rebbe said Yagdul Teruviyadr, and even though the Rebbe said print all your khedushim, um, and so on and so forth, it's like okay, so you're gonna give me another new idea.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Ideas are cheap.

Complacency After October 7

SPEAKER_02 11:14

I don't know what. I think Hashem is goading us on at the moment. Between October 7th and all the anti-Semitism that's going on that you're whoever's listening may be completely either freaked out or don't or bother ignoring. It's real and it's happening. Um I think he's goading us a little bit. What do you think?

SPEAKER_04 11:39

What do you mean by goading?

A Story That Shakes Perspective

SPEAKER_02 11:40

In other words, we're very complacent. We're very comfortable. You know the story what happened with me with this? I was uh I don't know if I told you this uh with the people who are listening to with us. Um I was writing a a template for a TV show with um an Israeli actress. Did I tell you that story? No. Okay, so this Israeli actress, her name was Tal. And she whatever, I'll skip the whole story of what led up to it, but um she was a not only an Israeli actress, she was a model. And we understand the world of what models are have and actresses have, and she ended up becoming Shomas Shabbos. And she found herself about a three, four months ago, thinking she was gonna go learn yoga exercises in India, and called me up in a frantic phone call on WhatsApp that she found she got there, and all there was was like idols, Indian idols and gurus, and it was nothing like they have at you know 24-hour LA fitness that she because that they're used, she's used to. And what should she do? So we talked about it, and I asked her where she was, and I looked it up on on the maps on my computer, thinking maybe there's a chabad house around the corner. The closest chabad house was like a thousand miles, right? I don't know if there's a point in America that you can go a thousand miles without a chabad house, but in India you can. Anyways, make a long story short, we spoke about it, gave her some ATZs, and next thing I know, a week later I hear from her again. She's in Mumbai, and she says that the Shliach in Chabad house told her that it was amazing that she survived the trip. I won't say what he said, but he said basically, you don't come out alive when you go in those areas, especially an Israeli single woman. Okay. And she says, God she starts to say to me, God protected her, and she's blessed, and it's amazing. And she was like very vis viscerally moved by the fact that she wasn't murdered. And a week later she goes to uh for a birthday party for her mother, and she dies in a truck accident in Israel of all places. Why am I telling you this story? Life is so short. Anyways, even if you live till 120 years old, can I know how my mother's turning 100 in a couple of weeks? Even if you live till 120 years old, it's a blip on the map, especially when you're 119 and nine months old. And so that's besides the point. But it's so short because it could like this woman goes through India and nothing happens to her, and then she gets killed in a truck accident in Israel, of all places. And it's like, I think we're living in a fog. So it's been 30 years. I'm just frustrated. That's what I'm allowed to show tell you. I'm frustrated. 30 years, and the same stuff gets re-gurgitated every year. We talk about we've a couple of years for bringing on street for bringing, and certainly the same sort of couple. What?

SPEAKER_04 15:19

It's more than a couple.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Okay, and the same um flaccid old comments are made at Ferbrengens. Um, we all know the schnitt. What are we missing here? What are we missing? There's something very core missing. When you go through your life in total habit, when putting on Tefillin is of the same nature in terms of putting it on as having your coffee when you wake up, there's something wrong. And how do you get out of that, Zahari? That's what's bothers me by the representative. Let me just ask you this. Do you ever feel, so to speak, sick to your kishkas about your own coffee-like citofillin, dovening, learning existence?

SPEAKER_04 16:28

I hear a lot of frustration, Ruven, and I do relate very much.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

I'm gonna start calling you Zachary Sigmund and Lipetz.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

I'm sorry I don't have a good response.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Okay, I hear that. I neither I neither do I.

SPEAKER_04 16:47

I understand that frustration. I I often don't know what to do with it. I often don't know what well why do why you know Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

It's a it's a big issue.

SPEAKER_04 17:05

It's a very big issue.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

And it's the pink elephant in the room.

SPEAKER_04 17:09

Yeah, it is. It is. I you're saying it's like because you're doing it by rote or you're content.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

I mean Take the Rebbe's answer. I don't understand. What was the whole sturim? I did everything I can, and then he just turns around and says, but they're supposed to spread Khazir's learn terrandu, turn don't do twer turn and uh torum mitzus. But we've been doing that for hundreds of years, thousands. What's the rebels say I don't understand the Rebbe's answer, to be quite frank with you. Never mind what I said before.

SPEAKER_04 17:41

Do you understand the answer, Aleph and Tagola? That the world is the same, you just have the Aleph, you have the perspective, you have the uh I told you already.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

I'm savvy enough, smart enough, and Hasidic street wise enough to get the ideas. But you know, ideas are ideas when you really get down to it, how do you get to Shah Shavesa Elavecha? How do you put it to your heart? And the very fact that we just continue pontificating, I feel lonely. I don't feel higher than anyone else, don't get me wrong, but I feel lonely because everybody I hear the same rigmarole rhetoric and principles of religion coming from all different corners. I I have enough of those, I know enough of those. We need to buy that's what the Rebbe, I think maybe that's what the Rebbe meant when he said one, ten, or three. It's not the Pshat we don't have the answer. The answers are there. The Rebbe said two weeks later, Tera and Mitzvahs and Fatis minus Sahutsa. It's the stubbornness the Rebbe was looking for.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

It was the I don't accept anything else stubbornness.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

And you know, I think we spoke about a couple of weeks ago in the capital for the Rebbe's um Tilim for 125 where he says you have the Batachun like a mountain that is unmu uh the the the ones who are believing in um not believing and trusting in Shem are like mountains that are unmovable. Remember that one we spoke about it? Since I always thought batachun meant I'm flexible. I'll put up with gullus because I betachun that we're gonna get out of it. So the more batachen you have, the more you could suffer. But that's not what this capital says. It says is immovable. Stubborn Where's the stubbornness? That's when I want to get to the point where I feel stubborn, I will not accept anymore all the crap and gullus in my life. I have no idea how what that would look like and what would take me to be that.

SPEAKER_04 20:29

Give me one example. Could you think of one example?

SPEAKER_02 20:34

One example?

SPEAKER_04 20:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

I don't know if I want to share I have to think about it for a second.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

I mean, I could think that I I could say that there's like you're you're you're a very authentic person, Ruvain, or you try to be very authentic with yourself. Well, I guess I fooled one guy at least with those around you. So would it be like you I've seen you many times many times call people out aggressively for not being authentic um in something that they said or do or believe? Um so would that be like a not tolerating gullis?

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Like Yeah, when you talk about Olive and Gaulah and Gaula, we're talking about our own. What what what where's the olive? Is this a mysterious letter that's gonna settle down in the outside the window what you're looking through the window?

SPEAKER_04 21:36

Honestly, as we're talking about it, I don't know if I know what elephant a gulli means anymore either. No, but you convinced me that now I don't know that.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

That's not my point. Before you you even want to discuss the Aleph and Gula, what it means. How is the Aleph being inserted? Who's the inserted? Inserter. Who's I don't know if I understand who's the artificial insemination giver of the olive intigoila?

SPEAKER_04 22:07

Honestly, I don't know if I understand. Oh, come on, think about it.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

No, I'm very simple. It's you.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

I know, I know you're saying you, it's always you. I I get that, but so what are you asking me? I'm not sure I get it. I don't know if I not intellectually get it. I don't know if I relate to it, understand it, feel it.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Right, that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_04 22:29

So yeah, I don't know if I know the answer anymore.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

The answer to what? What is olive and gula? Yeah. So I'm asking you, you're telling me it's you who does it. What does that mean you do it? Do you paint an olive on your front door like they say, uh, congratulations to Yitzi for graduating his high school class? You put it on the front door, or do you have it on your refrigerator with pick up onions and carrots at the store? So you say, and don't forget the olivangula? Where's the where's the the mechanism, if you wish, or the process? Who's the processor of the elephant gula?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

God? Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_04 23:18

Who?

SPEAKER_01 23:18

You.

SPEAKER_04 23:19

No, you're the you just said you're the the one who's doing it.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

That's the processor.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

No, the process. Okay, I guess I didn't know what you meant by processor.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

And what does that mean you put the what does it mean you put the not not how? What does it mean you're gonna do it? You're gonna do it with your teeth, you're gonna do it with your nose, you're gonna do it with your hands. What are you gonna do it with?

SPEAKER_04 23:43

Your being, your your being? Your personality, your your outlook, your your feeling, your experience.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

I want to know which part of you you're giving me very outward areas of yourself, your experience, your being. I want to know which faculty are you going to use?

SPEAKER_04 24:03

Your rutsoin.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Your rutsign? You're gonna rut soin Olive into Gaila? What does that mean? The Rebbe is saying nothing changes.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Okay, so if nothing changes, what I don't have to do anything. No?

SPEAKER_04 24:20

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Oh, you don't know?

SPEAKER_04 24:22

I don't know.

unknown 24:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

So for 30 years, when the Rebbe said that, and you haven't been around that long, how long have you been around? Like when you knew this Sikha? A few years. A few years. So let's say for 20 years, 15 years, you've been pontificating every year in Parja's Akri Mice about the Oliven Gaila, and you don't know what you're talking about. Okay, so neither do I, and neither do most of the people who are listening, because they're also coming to the table like you would just by habit eat, drink a cup of coffee in the morning, you'll put on twin. And I and but but they'll fight like crazy over some thing they don't like about Polish or Chasidim, for example. And they're gonna or they'll defend the Rebbe to the ends of the earth. We're living in some kind of fakak miser here. I don't get it. So go back. So I want you to go back to I'm sorry that I that that I'm spewing, but I think the way I feel today.

SPEAKER_04 25:21

This is how you feel. I'm glad you're expressing how you feel.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Oh, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_04 25:25

That's what a forbringing is all about.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Well, I don't know if it's all about that. I mean it should be, but okay.

Maharal On Outsourced Teshuva

SPEAKER_04 25:32

I want you to go back and give me an example of of uh you not tolerating the gullis and and experiencing or being in Goola or having that opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

You know, I saw something today that answers that question. I in in at least in a philosophical way.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

Uh oh. Don't say that word. I'm gonna have to curse you out.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Okay, you're allowed. The morale of I'll leave that up to you. He's my one of my favorites now. The morale of Prague says a very interesting idea.

SPEAKER_04 26:06

I'm sorry, I'm sure he's so happy about it.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Maybe he is. Because it says, you know, maybe he's not happy because it says whenever you say the words of a tzadik of his toira, his lips move in the grave. So maybe he's tired and he wants me to stop talking about it. Do you need to go on okay? So the moral uh the morale of praxis of is is having a discussion and in the fifth chapter of his uh safer that um basically essentially says that Avram Avinu came from a place in Ur Kazdim that's the complete opposite of who he is, and that he was born in Ur Kazdi. And there's a machle between him and the Ramban, whether Avram was born in Ur Kazdim or in or in uh Haran. And in this discussion, that's just the context, that's not even that important to what I'm about to say. So in this discussion, the morale brings up the fact that Terach did Shuva, says he did shuva in the end. Yeah, and the the theme of this chapter is that the Avram was living in a place of opposites, because Egypt was the opposite of the Jewish people, and the Jewish people are opposite of Egypt, and Avram was the opposite of where he lived. So the question is, where did he live? And then the question becomes about Terach, because if you say Terach was Ibidaved Zara and he did idol worship, so now we know these are the opposite, but he did shuva in the end, right? Yeah, you get the the how it kind of fuzzies up at the end the the opposites, and he answers and he says, There's two reasons why it's not anymore, not the opposite, even though he did shuva. And he says the most amazing thing. He says, Terak did shuva for two reasons. Number one, he was about to die, anyways.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

Good reason to do shuva.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Yeah, it's a good reason to do shuva. Like there's there's no there's that there's no, what does it say? There's no atheists in a foxhole. So when you feel like you're at your end, you're at the end of your life, you know, big deal you did shuva, and you feel contrite and so on so but that besides that one. That's not even the point I want to get to. The morale says he was influenced by a Vram. He was influenced by a Vram, and therefore, and this is the context of what he says, therefore, he's still under the definition of Rashayim Nikraim Mason Bekhayahem. Rashayim are called dead in their lifetime. So let's go over that again. Because he was influenced by Avram, and that's why he did chuva. Yeah, let me give a parallel. Because on Kaya Knissan that the Rebbe said, you only say Admasai because I say it, you're not doing chuva. You're still a Russia, he says to Terak. You're still a Russia that's called dead in your lifetime. But I'm doing chuva. Yeah, I know, but you're doing chuva because of Avram. What does that tell you?

SPEAKER_04 29:23

It was Avram's. It was like Avram's like influence.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

I'm saying it's an influence. But not influence. It's that's what he says.

SPEAKER_04 29:33

It's no, but I'm saying it's it's not his chuva, but it's him. It's his influence. You not Terra. It's like it says when you What does that mean? He didn't own it.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Well, that's a nice finky way of saying it. It didn't come from who he was, it was a response of who uh from him who he uh was to Avram.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

That's Gallus Panemin Avoy Sashem.

SPEAKER_04 30:01

Wow. Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Okay, so that's an answer. That to me is the frustrating point in my life that I'm at. Wow. I'm tired of influential, inspiring my morning. And you know, we get up at six in the morning, we have this class that we would go on WhatsApp, and it sounds feels so cool that we're all at six in the morning, and we really learn good stuff. But in a certain sense, I'm still a Russia Shanikra Bikha Amazing Bekhayehum because why?

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Because it's an influence from the outside.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

That's Ghala's Panemin Avoyas Hashem, and that's why I'm frustrated.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

And maybe that's a microft, man.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

And maybe that's what the Rebbe meant. Wow, maybe that's what the Rebbe meant. Why are you racking your brains out? Aye, the Rebbe said one person, three people to be stubborn to bring Mashiach. Obviously, you're gonna bring Mashiach with more mitzvahs and more Tyran, more Afatz minus Sakakhutsa. But you can do it because of me.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

What can I say?

SPEAKER_02 31:14

This is the way I feel. I hope that doesn't upset you. But I don't have an answer. I don't know. Because uh in a certain sense, it's great the idea the the morale's ideas inspire by the way. He doesn't you have to read between the lines because he doesn't say it openly, but that's what he says that he's called dead because he was influenced by Avram. Life comes from within you, otherwise, what's real life? What's real? What are we talking about? Hashem is MS. MS means it doesn't fluctuate, MS means it doesn't, you know, compensate uh what's the word not compensate? Um compromise.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

That's MS.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

And MS is I this is where I draw the line. And I don't have that. And it's like the Rebbe says, I have another day in Gala, he said, and that's it.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

Yeah, I don't expect it to be any different.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

Not yesterday, not today, and not tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Yep. So that feels like what do I mean feels? That's the world we're living in.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

At least we should get mad at it, even if we can't get out from under it. Or and you're not gonna like this, and I'm listening talking to everyone listening to us. Go find a different Chasidis, go find a different Rebbe who's gonna take you by your pais, as they say in certain sectors, and drag you out of your gehenim, because he's the tzadik is gonna do it. That's what we're facing by Chabad Chasidim. Does that make sense to you?

SPEAKER_04 33:08

And unfortunately, it makes a lot of sense. You're making uh you're making me very uncomfortable. Why? I'm talking about you're being very authentic.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Oh, baby. Listen, it's one thing to feel uncomfortable about you being authentic, but not when I'm being authentic. But anyways, authentic, even though we're not.

SPEAKER_04 33:26

Other people's authenticity is very uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Um I could tell you that what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

And in the end, what I'm saying means nothing because so what? You're gonna change something change? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

I'm just right now, all I'm doing is spewing like you're spewing, but you're spew you're spewing, you're spewing real feelings. And yeah, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what to do with the Alpha and Tagola. I don't know what to do with do everything you can. I don't know what to do with Dobbin more, learn more, spread more cassitous. I don't know how it's different than how it was beforehand on a on a feeling level. It all comes down to authenticity. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

What does that mean, authenticity?

SPEAKER_04 34:19

Coming from your core, that it should be coming from you and not from the external experiences. I don't know what it all means anymore. I don't.

Authenticity Versus Habitual Living

SPEAKER_01 34:27

I don't. Um do you I have a funny thought. What sports do you like?

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Sports, not participating. Like, do you like watching baseball? Not particularly football, football. If football is what I used to watch. And uh used to watch the Jets? Jets and Giants, yeah. So if you were given box office tickets, is that the right way to say box seat tickets, center field of a Jets game, would you be like excited?

SPEAKER_04 35:06

Now, no, but no? No, not really.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. Because that would be authentic. I I would not anymore, then okay. I'm not anymore. Uh-huh.

unknown 35:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

I'm sure I can think of something, but what's your what's your point?

SPEAKER_02 35:21

I don't remember. What's never mind?

SPEAKER_04 35:24

What's You said like you were okay. What if I said yes? Yes, I would love it. It would be so exciting.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Okay, so that's authentic.

SPEAKER_04 35:31

And therefore what?

SPEAKER_02 35:32

At least you know who you are. We're back to the first or second Fabrang we ever started with at Street Fabrang. Can you be authentic and not come out from your worldly animal soul?

SPEAKER_04 35:46

What does that have to do with what you're talking about right now?

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Because that's what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 35:50

The elephant into gola doesn't mean going to box seats in the jets.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

No, I'm talking about being authentic.

SPEAKER_04 35:58

I know what authenticity means. What are you trying to bring out?

SPEAKER_02 36:01

I don't understand why you don't understand. The Rebbe's voort about Olive Voort, the Rebbe's instruction and frustration of Olive into Gaila is one of the fundamental things he says there is nothing changes.

SPEAKER_04 36:22

Yeah, I don't know what that means anymore.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

What do you mean, no mean? You're still gonna have a house, you're still gonna pay taxes, you're still gonna eat, you're still gonna have to clothe yourself, you're still gonna have to take care of your kids, you're still gonna have to pay all that. Okay, so what do you mean you don't know what it means?

SPEAKER_04 36:36

I I'm not saying on a on on a philosophical level. Yes, I can explain.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

That's not philosophical. That's very part.

SPEAKER_04 36:44

So what does it mean?

SPEAKER_02 36:45

What does what mean?

SPEAKER_04 36:46

So, what does authenticola mean?

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Okay, but one second.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

I got what gullis is, and the fact that I'm still gonna have to go to the city.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

So I'm asking you, I'm asking you all of the stuff that goes into getting your kids on the bus in the morning, doing all the things you're supposed to do in life, is and your worries about it, or your rules about it, or your habits about it, is that being authentic? Or do you see it as some sort of aberration that you should be able to get out from under?

SPEAKER_04 37:22

I get it what you're saying.

Chasing Emes And Lost Idealism

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Yeah. You know, there's somebody in our community. I hope he's not listening. There's somebody in our community who's wanting to go to a Limbabash yeshiva. I won't say where or what or whatever. Not a not a and he's been going to a non-Limbabash yeshiva post Masifta. And since I know him, I was a reference. And they called me up wanting to know that they don't understand this guy if he's in yeshiva elsewhere. Like, what's the reason why he's coming to go into Lababaj Yeshiva? Like, what's my high? What's going on over here? So I said to the guy, why are you asking what's going on over here? He wants to go to Lababaj Yeshiva. Yeah, but I don't understand. Is he not functioning well in the other yeshiva? No, he's functioning well. Okay, you sure? Yeah. They're worried about, you know, like he's a problem. Okay. I said, no, he's he's doing very well. Okay. So what does he want to come to us for? He's lucky that the guy was on the WhatsApp talking to me because I would have strangled him, so to speak. I said, What do you mean? He wants to go to Lababit Yeshiva, man. You know what he told me, this young man?

SPEAKER_03 38:50

He wants to go to Lababi Sheshiva because he doesn't have a relationship with God in his yeshiva. He wants to know the MS. And I don't think these guys know what he's talking about. I think they're gonna think he's a kook.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

Or they'll set him straight. But uh so what am I saying?

SPEAKER_04 39:14

What are you saying, baby?

SPEAKER_02 39:16

That's core. You know, you're not 19 anymore, neither am I. You know, I I met with a friend of mine this week. He's having his 70th birthday, he's a really good friend of mine. I know him from Schlichus in White Plains. And very intelligent, very creative, professional guy. And you know, whatever. Lots of stuff I can say about him. And we're talking, and we were we were you can't relate to this, but I'm starting to look at my you know, Stephen Jobs very famously said you can't predict the future, but can always connect the dots to the past. Right?

SPEAKER_01 40:00

He's famous for saying that.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

Oh, and I'm looking I don't know if you can handle this, but I'll say it to you anyways. I'm looking at my life span and I reali all of a sudden in the last little few months, and I realized that a certain um I'm gonna say it in French, joie de vive a joy of life somehow got crushed and I didn't tell him I wasn't because I didn't want to. It got crushed somewhere between Morristown and afterwards and I'm trying to figure out where in order for me to get it back. Why I'm bringing this up is because when you're 19 years old and the Rebbe was big on this because he called it Lubavitch youth organization, youth have idealism. So when you're inspired by Avramavino like like uh Terek was, that's not idealism. And I'm starting to realize that I lost something and I gotta get it back. Maybe it's that coffee in the morning that you know just habit. So I've spewed enough, I think. No.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

I'm not sure what's left with, what we're left with, but okay. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

I'm looking for that group of one, three, or ten people that can be stubborn and can show me the way, man. You know, I I'm not gonna say who he was. Everyone know who's listening knows this guy. I was in a certain shul in Kronheitz on a Shabbos in the last few months, and I went to yeshiva with a certain well-known individual. We're talking about Morristown, Balchhuva Yeshiva. And I didn't expect to see him, and he didn't expect to see me. Uh I wasn't thinking about it, but it was like it wasn't expected to see each other. And I'm doveing by myself after the minion. And he walks by and he does a double take and he sees me. And he goes, You're duvening by a rich and he starts to crack up.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

He's dovening by a rich, he says a second time.

Stubbornness To Refuse Galus

SPEAKER_02 42:49

And laughed and walked away. I wanted to scream, please close your ears, everybody. I'm not gonna say the four-letter word, but I screamed a big F word bomb on him. Do we do the same thing to our 13-year-old bar mitzvah? You know, I didn't have this, but for all those Lubavs who became bar mitzvah at 13 when they were Lebavitcher and they were all idealistic at 13? How long does it take to kick the idealism out of your heart? That's Kayachnissen, that's whether or not you're a Labavatch Khassun or not. Your idealism is yours. And you want to be a Breslav Chasid, you want to be a Polish Chassid, you want to go all over the world and get brachas and put your key on your khalh and expect parnasa, you're in the wrong place in Chabad.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

Is it it should be you? It should be you?

SPEAKER_02 43:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

You've been listening to a street for bread, a production of Hug Bud Life.tv and Studio Juice.