Street Farbrengen ; Episode # 134 - The Dysfunction of Spiritual Formuli

 Elul's trademark identity is — I am to my beloved, my beloved is to me. It can slip through  us without much thought. We repeat the formula — - arousal from below, arousal from above — but do we  feel what it means  to be to someone?

This episode gets uncomfortable. Someone can show up to shul daily throughout Elul and still, as the Frierdiker Rebbe puts it, be missing something essential — because the feeling of belonging never showed up alongside the effort. We talk marriage - what convinces a spouse they're loved - the archetypes that quietly move us without our noticing, the King who comes out to the field not to catch us in our mistakes but because that's what home can feel like. We talk  the Wizard of Oz, and whether "coming home" might get closer to teshuva than "becoming worthy" does. 

For anyone whose relationship to Elul has started to feel more like a checklist than a return.

Transcript

Elul Arrives And A Bold Claim

SPEAKER_03 0:00

As we come around the corner to the month of El or blessing the upcoming month, the Shabbos. Everyone is aware that Ell is Anil Dodivado, I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me. And I I was pondering that. And I realized that this quotation personifies the the dysfunctionality of our generation.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Did you just say the dysfunctionality of our generation? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

You're saying the line that we Honey Ludwig Vidoidi Lee.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Okay, I just want to make sure I heard it correctly.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

I was pondering it um this week, and I'll speak personally. Okay. Because, you know, I'm not going to be Yoitsumi Akhl, so if it's for me, then it must be for the rest of the generation. But seriously. Let me ask you this.

The “Arousal” Formula Problem

SPEAKER_03 1:28

What have you learned about that statement, Anil Dori Vidodili? What how do you understand that statement?

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Your effort and desire to connect arouses the connection from above.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

Okay. So you this is exactly the dysfunctionality that I'm referring to. What? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But I'm talking for myself now. Okay, because that's obviously the first place we all go to. We learn Chasidis and we say Analudi Dividori Lee, arousal from below, and arousal from above, and the altar rebell speaks in Lukutitura, but how come the arousal from above is mentioned when it really goes on Russian Shranayam Kippur? And there's memorium on it. Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful. So where do we what do we leave off with that very idea? Arousal from below creates arousal from above.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

So let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

What does Anila Doidi mean? Not in relationship to Doidi Lee.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

What is Doidi referred to? No, I want to know the word doidi. I know what it referred to beloved. What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 2:53

I am to my beloved.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 2:58

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

What do you mean you don't know? So if you don't know, then that's exactly the dysfunctionality that I'm referring to. That we can go and talk about a mathematical formula of if you do an arousal from below, you get arousal from above. But the whole concept of doidi is left out.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

You're saying the one who is beloved?

SPEAKER_03 3:18

No. What is

What Does “Beloved” Even Mean

SPEAKER_03 3:21

okay? Let's pretend, okay? And don't worry, this won't lead to mixed dancing. I say to you, a doidi could mean a, you know, I'm thinking off the top of my head, I once heard an amazing, beautiful story where for the first time David Raichuk Oliva Ashalam met um Mendel Futefas after being, you know, the two of them went through the war and everything else, but obviously Mendel Futefass came to 770 many years later than David Raichuk. So David Raichuk came into 770 and saw Mendel Futefass for the first time. They put their hands on each other's shoulders, danced around, looked, they looked at each other while they were dancing, and then they walked off separately. That's doidi, that's an ill doidi. They didn't have to say anything, they didn't have to schmooze, they didn't have to take out a cigarette and a coffee, they didn't have to do anything other than just be present with each other and ri rejoice in the fact that they were both alive, I'm sure, and all those feelings they had from being in the war and their travails and their journey. Okay. So I want to know. So if I let's go back. So I say to you, you know what, Zachary? We've been doing street for Brengen for I don't remember how many years. You tell me it's a lot longer than I think. So it's five years. Right? We spend a lot of time and frustration and effort. And I'm gonna say, you know, is it safe to say Anila Doidi is is it is it close to I love you?

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Um no. Okay, then what is it?

SPEAKER_03 5:16

You see the dysfunctionality already? We don't know what anila doide means. Doide means. Maybe I just don't know what it is. No, that's what every you go ask, you know what? Go ask ten guys in your shoulders, Shabbos. And I'm sure you're gonna get the same answer. What do you mean? I'm to my beloved, and my beloved to me. And if you just reach out, he reaches back out to you. And we forget that is all true, of course. But why does the beloved reach out to you when you reach out to the beloved? Because you're beloved's okay. So now let's talk about El and God and being beloved, and that you feel the love, the belovedness. And why is that different on Eloh than any other month of the year when you're supposed to have a haftis of Shemalakha?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

True.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

You know, love your God as every day.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Yeah, you have an obligation to work on obligation.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

I'm not talking about obligation, I'm talking about how do we, as they say in Berkeley in the 60s, how do you roll? How do you walk through life? Do you walk through life with your head in some kind of like a computer box in your heads in it? And you say, Oh, relationship. If you go and you do this and the other person does that, it's on the doidy lee, arousal from below, arousal from above. What is the arousal, by the way? Did you ever think about that? And are you doing any arousing? Did you ever think about that?

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, I mean, the the my maram talk about the arousing I don't I don't want to know about what the moram talk about, because you know what?

SPEAKER_03 6:58

I've been hearing my moram for 50 years. And well, not 50, not that old yet. Or I didn't do chuva early enough to be at 50. But I've been hearing it for a very long time, and I'm asking this question to myself this week. Because I too am stuck in that um intellectual uh it's in in a certain way it's dysfunctional, meaning that it's separate from the meaning of what I'm even referring to.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

How so? I just told you because You're saying it's separate because you're not actually thinking about the aspect of thinking?

SPEAKER_03 7:42

You're not feeling the You don't even know what Doidi means. You know what? This is like the ultimate Jewish situation that we're in today is a fiddler on the roof. I don't know. Do you love me? And then the and then the other one, do I love you? I washed your clothes, cooked your meals. And you're saying, hold on. Oh, but wait a second, do I love you?

SPEAKER_00 8:03

But but doide, what are you saying it is? You're saying because you're not thinking about the one who you are loving and that it's a love relationship? Like what are you?

SPEAKER_03 8:14

First of all, I'm not first of all, let wait, wait, wait. This is very interesting that you're asking me this. What does the word Anil Doidi mean?

SPEAKER_00 8:22

I am to my beloved.

SPEAKER_03 8:24

Who are you thinking about? Hashem. No. What the statement is saying I love Hashem. It's not saying Hashem is loved.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

No, no, it's saying, yeah, no, I'm saying I love Hashem. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

So what do you mean you're thinking about Hashem? I am to my beloved as a statement of feeling of a state that you're in, that I am to Hashem in a way of I love him. Not well, that's going to arouse the opposite expensive or the there's going to be a response. Yeah, you're right that it says that in Lakutai Torah. You know why it says that in Lakutatora? Because it assumes that you are loving him. That's the kiddish, that the assumption is like, you know, when I first came, when I first came to Morristown, I and I started learning Tanya in a real way because in Chabad House I kind of like, whatever. I was more stoned and I was doing Sufi dancing than learning Tanya and wondering why I was sitting there. But you know, you know that Tanya never I expected it. It never goes and says, Do you know that there's such a thing called a soul? And I'm gonna tell you how I know that. Or there's such a thing as God, and I'm gonna prove it. Yeah. Doesn't say that in the Tanya. Yeah. How come?

SPEAKER_00 9:40

It's assumed that you already have it.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

It's such a devrpash it. Yeah. And now we're bouncing off of that into the realm of a voida. That's right. That is Aniladoidi.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

So you're saying it you're already in the assumption that you love Hashem and have a feeling of that.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Therefore, it's coming to a khidish that it's reflective back.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Because otherwise you would think what?

SPEAKER_03 10:02

You would think No, otherwise nothing, I think. No, what I'm saying is, therefore, if you look at it superficially, and I don't remember everything off by heart at the moment because I haven't started diving into it, but certainly the Altereb is Maimur is not speaking about how to create the love. It's more as everyone takes in, as referring to the I'm to my beloved.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

So you're saying we're missing the first step of actually loving Hashem. That's very nice.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Well, I'm not it's not only that we're missing the first step, Hashem loves. We don't even hear that that's a given. And so how come I don't feel that? Well I'm already into there's a relationship, and you can do this. The king is in the field, right? And I go, I hear the I hear the band playing from when I was there, it's not anymore that band, but you know, in the field, the king will be right, and everyone says, the king's in the field, the king's in the field. Okay, and the king's not available in the month of of I'll I'll I'll give you a good kasha. How come the month of bless the Zello? It must be something to do with this. All right, all right. We're not with your beautiful. Yeah. So what I'm saying to you is that we are checked out emotionally, and we're okay. So what you're I am checked out emotionally, and I am checked out humanly, and I am checked out in a real panemasdic a way, and everything is now bifurcated into the it's like it's like I take an idea from Chasidis, I project it on the screen like a movie, I see the screen, and now the movie is gonna make me feel something.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Okay, I get it. I get it.

SPEAKER_03 11:42

So now let's talk about Doidi. Anila Doidi. What does that mean? I'm to my beloved, and if anything, uh certainly where I dove in, it should be the other way around. Meaning. Meaning that they would say, God loves me, like the bumper sticker. God loves you, God loves me, Anoid Movando and all those nice, you know how I hate those bumper stickers. So God loves me. Isn't that the clarion call of Amuna and Batachin and all these other things that God loves you? And I can ask the same question, by the way. What the schnitzel does that mean that he loves you? To you, what does it mean? That he gives you dollar bills, that he keeps you healthy? What does it mean? Do you what does that mean? We're so you know what? It means I'm coming to the conclusion, and I hope I'm not projecting, but I'm coming to the conclusion that a lot of people have crummy marriages because they don't even know what these things mean. And they could take it as a lesson from their own microcosm, right? I'll derich mashal, ishvi ishtoi, but yet maybe that's also intellectual. I don't know. I'm not gonna speak for anyone else, and it's none of your business about me, but but I'm serious.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

I hear you.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

Um I feel so I don't want to pass once I don't want to pass another L O like a like a yak.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

So are you asking now how do you arouse a love of Hashem? No, you're not asking that.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

No.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Why? Wouldn't that make sense? Or maybe Ahtus Hashem because it doesn't say I love Hashem.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

It's I am to my loved one.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

So what do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 13:31

What's the difference between I don't know, what's the difference between let's unpack it.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

Well, do you hear that there's a difference?

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Not really.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Really?

SPEAKER_00 13:41

I love Hashem, which is referring to the deity. I know what it's referring to.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Hear the sentence I love God, I am to my beloved God.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Yeah, and you just said very accurately that one already assumes the love and has the love. The first one is you're trying to create that love.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Which one is uh Ello?

SPEAKER_00 14:04

The the Anula Didi. Which is I am to my beloved, which means I just said say it again.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

I like to repeat it. Repetition is the key to skill. My mentor tells me, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

So I am to my beloved.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

So I am to the one who I love.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

What does that mean? I am to them. I am it's not saying I love you.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

No, it's I am arousing myself to that love.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Oh, that's what it means. I'm arousing myself.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Well, I am I'm trying to. No, it's a statement of fact, man. Yeah, I guess it is.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

The kiddish is that you're gonna arouse him back, which is what we all say, but we don't focus on I do I feel that I am to him and he is my beloved? So it's two things he's beloved and I am to him.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Right? Okay, yeah. Okay.

When Inspiration Is Still Superficial

SPEAKER_03 15:10

So what happens? I said to myself, Ruve, self? One of the things I've repeated over and over on the Street for Bragen, you know, this is something I've said over and over, and that is that the Friedrich Rebbe says in Lakuti Deburim, I'm looking at his picture right now on your Lakuti Deburim book on your shelf, that he tells in his uh unprecedented way of writing, unique way of writing about a Bakr, Amashra Bakr, a younger man, gets up, Rosh Hhodish Elul, goes through the whole entire 40 days until Yom Kippur, he writes incredible about this guy, and he cries, and he sings, and he does chuva, and he says tahilim all the time, and so on, and the winds of Elul are blowing, and so on and so forth, and at the end he makes finalizes the story and he says, and all of this is superficial. End of paragraph. And why? Because he doesn't have a Seder, Nasudar, and a voidas Hashem.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Right? Yep.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

Okay. Do we understand that? The guy gets up every morning, says tahil, let's say, let's make it bigger. He says the whole book of Tahilim. He gets up at four o'clock in the morning. He says, he cries on Yom Kippur. He says, he dances his his heart out on Simchustara. Why is it superficial? And why doesn't why do you say he doesn't have a Sayyidina Sudar in a void al-Sashem?

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Because he doesn't know who the beloved is. Exactly. That's a beautiful way of putting it.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Yes. No, not that he doesn't know who the beloved is. He doesn't feel he doesn't know that he is to his beloved. Is it possible is it possible for a spouse to be convinced that you love them deeply and you don't feel

Marriage As A Mirror For God

SPEAKER_03 17:10

it? Yes. So what are are are they stupid?

unknown 17:15

No.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Okay, so how do they how are they what convinces them? How what let's say it's the she. How is she convinced that he loves me? Give me a cup of imagine, don't be creative. You don't have to give it's not a test.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Things that he does for her.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

Like give me an example.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Buys her flowers.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

He buys her flowers. I knew you were gonna say he buys her flowers, hair of Shabbos, and he folds, he folds his talus on Mosi Shabbos, right? That's the Rebbe has a state, a few statements about that. Okay. And on and on and on. He pays for her for her uh her go get her pedicures and her and her new shaital and all that kind of stuff.

unknown 17:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Is that I am to my beloved? She's convinced. Then you have the other person, the other couple, where the woman has the same gifts showered on her, and she says, You don't love me. And he goes, What are you talking about? Look what all everything I give you. But he's not in the seat of feeling I am to her.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

And she picks up on that. Not that I'm sure that he's even checked out.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

He's going through all the moves. He doesn't identify himself as I am to her, who he's calling a beloved. Let's let's change it to my mate. I am to my mate. Well, you don't need any long explanation that she's your mate. You married her, you have a legal contract, etc. etc. etc. So what does it mean I am to her? What does that actually mean?

SPEAKER_00 19:03

Yeah, what do you think? I don't know. I don't know you don't know? I don't know anymore.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

You're you don't know anymore. You used to know. So tell us what you used to know.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

No, no. I I I hear your question, Ruvain. So what are you what are you doing with it? Because I'm still going back to the idea of you need to mispoint in on Avis Hashem or um or Octus or something, but you're saying no, we're we're past all that.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

You're well, I don't know if it's past or it's not all that. Or it's an assuming all that. Yeah, it seems well Well, you could do a Keshbin and Nefesh, which we'll get to in a second, that I don't really feel I am to my beloved. Right? If you take a simple one of us guys who goes to shool every day, then we could easily come to the conclusion that I'm really uh excuse the expression, screwed up because I come every day, but I don't feel I am to my beloved. I'm just showing up. That's legit. That would be a a a starting point. Sure. Okay, if you wanna if you want that you should be a to your beloved. If you don't want, then it's not gonna do anything for you, right? Okay. So maybe on a below surface level another thing comes up for me.

Archetypes And What Actually Moves Us

SPEAKER_03 20:26

One of the I don't know if I'm right about this, but one of the things I picked up from learning the Mitlareba's uh my moramani's boynaness and so forth, is that there are natural universal feelings that we all share. Right? We we we have the need for wanting to be taken care of by God, by s and even if you don't believe in God, God may say, I want to be taken care of by life, and I shouldn't, and and I need security. So I'm gonna move out of you know, a neighborhood that's filled with with gunfights, and I'm gonna move to the country, right? Okay, so that would be a universal need. Um so certain ideas pluck your heartstrings different than other ideas, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

Okay, which may which is the difference between a good movie and a bad movie, basically. Yeah, besides the way it's written is like I always go back to the Wizard of Oz. What great universal feelings that it plucks, you know. I want to find my way home, right? And the wicked witch, and uh okay, we don't have to I know you're you're groaning because it's not, you know, Jewish. But um it's part of my history, so tough luck. So um, so that's there's there's we call it archetypes. Right? Sure. So what are the archetypes associated? If we can put archetypes in the middle, there's me on one side and God on the other side. And there's the archetypes that bind us together, just like, you know, Home Sweet Home and Wizard of Oz. What's the archetype between you and God? Okay, I'm really asking myself this, but uh, you know, and I see your inquisical face.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

I don't think it's a simple question.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

Why do we need simple? You want simple? Go back to Chaydr. So and I don't need an answer, but let's that's what a for Fabragans are not answers to questions. Shiurim are answers to questions. Fabrengans are archetypes of the soul. So what I'm asking is, in other words, there's coordinate points between something about God and the person who's listening to that coordinate that arouses them automatically. Just like, let's say, underdog is the America that wins over the David and Goliath is an archetype, that the underdog wins over the ogre who's bigger and and were and and formidable. And America loves the underdog, right? Which is why they think they're always screaming from the river to the sea, because they think the Palestinians are underdogs and the Goliath is the Jews. Well, you're laughing, but that is what they that's how they function. Okay. What's the archetype that arouses your heart strings when it comes to God? I don't want to hear a mimur.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

I want to know what arouses.

SPEAKER_03 23:59

So the very fact that the two of us have to ponder that we're full of you know what, and that's what the Fried Rebbe means when he says it's all Chatsoinius. You can sh you've been showing up for how many Anilidoidi Badoidi Li Ells Ruvain for 30, 40 of them, whatever it is. I didn't count, and I still don't know for sure what it means, Aniladoidi. I'm not talking about I could tell you my moram. That means it's all chatsonias. The whole kitten cabuto.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

All of now, I'm not saying that because of Khitsonya, so then drop it and let's go, you know, let's go party. But that's the whole clarion call to me of and of Eloh. Is and and and maybe the the answer that springs out at me, not maybe, the answer that springs out at me as to all the memorim from the Rebbe, whatever I know, is Elul is a safe time for me to make the statement that I'm all foolish netzel and still get beyond it and not give up and not drop and not say the whole thing's Bubba Myces, so I'm getting out of here. That's the power of Elul, says the Rebbe. You have the ability to look at yourself in the mirror and not fall apart. But looking at yourself in the mirror, not inside, and you know what? I've said this before to you, and I don't know, I've never seen this particularly anywhere, but it just seems on the simple level of the word, it's the El is the month of Cheshbana Nefesh. So from most of our dysfunctional, superficial way of living, everyone would right away associates that with not everyone, but most. What have I been up to? What have I been doing wrong?

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

But therefore it should say.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

So it's what is the archetype. Where's your nephesh man? Where is your nephesh? Where's your feeling about it?

SPEAKER_03 26:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 26:31

Yeah, wow. And it irks me about myself, but it also irks me. I don't have whatever, I I don't want to go more into that. So that's so how do you get the answer to that, Ruvain? How do you make it that it's me, I'm in it? Ani Ladoidi. And you said we think about a sham, Ab is a shem. It's not about a shem. It's Ani Lidoidi.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

It's about Ani.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Right. So the ultimate archetype, if you wish, to continue that whatever idea.

Achdus Hashem As Soul Tefillin

SPEAKER_03 27:18

I saw from the Mitlarebbe recently that something blew me away. Mitlarebbe in Imreibina says in his Agdama that there's such a thing, a concept called uh in the Gemara, which you're familiar with. Karkacht, that who it says, Who's Paisha Yisra Paisha Peshayim that are Poishabhagupam? Who are these individuals that are um um delinquent in their bodies, sinners in their bodies? And we all know what we would think the answer would be. And the answer in the Gomorrah is no, not obviously, you have to know the Gomorrah. I'm joking. Kakafta Deloimanach Tfillin, a skull that didn't have a paratfilin on its head. That's who Parshea Bhagufam that are sinning with their body. Yeah, and uh one of I don't remember where, but one of the commentaries on that explains that what does it mean? Because Har Sinai was all about the follow-through from Avram Yitzik and Yaqab, who were very Rukhnius, Dika people. Uh Avos Hain, Haina Markava, they were they were chariots to the Rukhnius and the Ruchnias of re of life and reality, and came Har Sinai to bring the level of Kadusha down into a Gashima stick into a physical object, like at Paratfilin. And the Karkofta, the skull that didn't place a paratfilin on its head, is that the idea of ruchnius and physicality for that person doesn't meet. And therefore they're not macabre harsina, they're not accepting harsina. Okay, so he says the Mithurabba, so too is the individual that didn't ponder and reach in his pondering Ahtis Hashem, the unity of God. So it's like a soul that never wear wore a pair of Tfillin. The way this tefillin is to the body, the Achtis Hashem was never sitting in the soul. Right? Okay. And that goes on to say it's only a page Agdham, a page or two. He goes on to say two things that are just astounding. Statement number one is all dinnim, all limitations, even lachats shapranasa, even your feeling of pressure to make a living, and you can't make a living, come from not having, so to speak, this villain of the soul put on it on you, the Ahtus Hashem on your skull, the unity of God on your skull. And second, he says, because he knows his people, Mitlu Rebbe says, Don't tell me that you don't have the brains and you don't have the gadult, we say in Yiddish, to be able to pull this off. No, everyone is chaif to put on Tulin, everyone's chaif to think about Achtis Hashem, and everyone can. Why? Because the ultimate point of Achtis Hashem of the unity of God is above Sekel, anyways. Okay. Is let's go back, Lahavda, the wizard of us. And Dorothy, I'm sorry for all those people who don't know what I'm talking about. And I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

You need a hole for bringing about what uh the Mittler Rabbit said, though, but we're on a hole for bringing.

SPEAKER_03 31:02

So Dorothy. Okay, so Dorothy is looking for home. She wants to make her way back to home. Right? We all want a way, we all want to get back to home. That's the the archetype. Okay. That's the universal feeling. It's not created in her, in the character, it's just there. It's a fact. Is it Sechudik? No. Does she have to be Ms. Boynan in what a home is? No. Does she have to remember the colors of her kitchen walls? No. No. Okay. Same thing with Achdus Hashem. Ahtus Hashem and you, the Nishama, I don't know which is which, is relate like an archetype.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Meaning what?

SPEAKER_03 31:53

That's home. That's reality. That's me. That's my beloved. I am too my beloved. Because the nefesh the nefish the nefesh is already one with God. You just don't hap it in your unconsciousness. But that's a fact. You're not creating it, you're not creating Dorothy's love for her home. It's their innate. We all want, even the adopted child spends sometimes a whole lifetime looking for their parents, even though they're very happy with their adoptive parents. Why? Because they just want the source. Okay.

King In The Field As Home

SPEAKER_03 32:33

So what I'm trying to say in all of this is to Ruvain is Elul is primarily about what does it mean, Ani Ladøidi? Who's the ani here? Who's the I? What's the I gonna do here? What's the I and it's interesting because what's in the one of the Diyukim that the Rebbe brings out is that in the mashal of the altar Rebbe is the king turns with a right countenance of a smiling face to all those who run to him.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

Why do they have to run to him?

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Because they love him, because they already feel it, they already have it.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

But but I'm why in the mashal? Why isn't the king in the field? You have to at least you have to feel that the king in the field, the the shot the king is in the field is not that you're gonna be forgiven for all your crap. The king in the field is that archetypal connection. You could connect that you're home on in Ell, which is so ironic because we're thinking we're all not home. We're all sinners and we're all gonna you know go to hell in a handbasket. And now we have to like like the guy in the my shul, every Ell goes, oh yo, yo, yo, yo, El. That's the way certain um corners of the Jewish world act.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Well, now we for sure don't need to do that. So that's beautiful. Now now we know how to start preparing for El. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

Well, what is so tell let's put it into a into a clear s a clear statement. What's the objective of El That we're coming home?

SPEAKER_00 34:16

We am coming home.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Thank you. No I'm not coming home. I am to him. You're doing it again.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

You're giving me the the it's like I I'll use a mushroom for a nice Canadian boy. Center ice. And the captain of the team is moving the puck to the net of his opponent. Or for you guys in South America, you know, the soccer team is trying to get the ball into the net. So they're moving it forward. And we're we're in the stands and we're gonna analyze. He moved to the left, he moved to the right, he should have done this, he should have done that. Is he doing that when he's doing that?

SPEAKER_00 35:11

No.

SPEAKER_03 35:11

No, what is he doing?

SPEAKER_00 35:12

He's just being.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

He's it's automatic. Flowing. He's flowing.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

So let's not analyze it, let's be in the flow of it.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

And you're gonna say, uh, a whole year I wasn't in the flow of it. Yeah, but hello, you can be in the flow of it. So now let's ask the question what blocks that?

Numbness And How Elul Unblocks

SPEAKER_03 35:38

What creates that dysfunctionality?

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Well, you just said it. The whole year you're not feeling it No, that's the state.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

That didn't do explain why it's blocked the whole year. Why what blocks the so-called arc archetype? If it's an archetype, it's there all the time.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

Or lack of sensitivity to it. Uh which is the stuff that we engage in, the things that we look at, the places that we go, right? The distractions that we engage in. Yeah. It numbs us.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

Okay. So if we drop that and we go to the places that unnumb us, etc. etc., it's not about being worthy through Truva.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

But it's being connected or reconnected.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

And there you go with the same, you know, imagery as it's all about are you so are you a sinner and now you're gonna be not a sinner? The whole thing is I don't know. I I I I hope that I don't pass another L O like a numbskull.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

You've been listening to the street.