Omolúàbí Online: Yoruba Values in the Age of Social Media

Check out host Bidemi Ologunde's new show: The Work Ethic Podcast, available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Email: bidemiologunde@gmail.com

In this episode, host Bidemi Ologunde explores a timely conversation about clout, narcissism, gossip, fake expertise, fake displays of wealth, cyberbullying, and digital self-control. What does it mean to carry Yoruba values into a world ruled by algorithms, attention, and performance? How do we recognize when confidence is fake expertise, when influence becomes cruelty, or when online success is only a staged illusion? And in an age of constant posting, dragging, and flexing, what does true Omolúàbí character look like online?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

According to Yoruba tradition, a young person quoting proverbs in the presence of adults must do so humbly and respectfully. Therefore, in line with tradition, I humbly crave the indulgence of my parents and Yoruba elders worldwide before going ahead with this episode. Thank you for your time. Let's get to it. Last year, reporters described a disturbing pattern that should make all of us sit up. A network of Nigerian sextortion scammers, nicknamed the BM Boys, was reported to be using Instagram to find victims and using TikTok to flaunt cash, phones, and status while recruiting newcomers with tutorial style content. Earlier, Facebook said it had removed about 63,000 Instagram accounts in Nigeria tied to sextortion scams, including a coordinated network of around 2,500 accounts. And the National Center for Missing and Experted Children, NECMEC, said it received 26,718 reports for financial sextortion in 2023 alone, up from 10,731 the year before. Think about that for a moment. The same apps that people use to dance, joke, advertise, and build a brand can also become a marketplace for deception, cruelty, and fake success. So that is why today's conversation matters. This is not just about bad people doing bad things. It's about a culture of performance. A culture where clout can look like achievement, noise can look like wisdom, gossip can look like information, rented luxury can look like prosperity, and cruelty can be disguised as just content. And that is exactly why the Yoruba idea of omoluabi is not old-fashioned, it is urgently modern. An omoluabi in the Yoruba moral imagination is a person of good character, integrity, respect, truthfulness, diligence, and self-restraint. One description put it simply: an omaluabi is a person of honor who respects the rights of others and gives to the community in deeds and in action. Another summary of the tradition highlights honesty, sound character, diligence, loyalty, wisdom, and self-restraint. In other words, omaluabi is not merely about how you dress, how you sound, but how people praise you. It's about what kind of human being you are when nobody's clapping, when nobody's watching. And let me be clear, this is not an anti-social media sermon. Social media can connect people, spread culture, preserve language, help businesses grow, and give young people room to create. So the issue is not whether the tools exist, the issue is what kind of character is driving the tools. Now let us start with clout. One of the most dangerous lies of the social media age is this. If people can see you, then you matter. If people can hear you, then you're important. If people can envy you, then you've succeeded. But Yoruba wisdom has never measured a person that way. There's a proverb translated like this. It's an empty barrel that is noisy. A sack full of money makes no sound. The meaning of that proverb is timeless. Emptiness often announces itself loudly, while substance does not need to shout. In our time, the empty barrel may have a ring light, a blue check mark, a hot take, a rented luxury car, a viral rant, or a fake soft life video. But empty is still empty. This message is especially important for teenagers because the platforms are designed to reward visibility. Pew Research 2024 data found that nearly half of teenagers say they are online almost constantly, and one-third use at least one major platform almost constantly. In its 2025 follow-up on social media and mental health, Pew found that 45% of teenagers say they spend too much time on social media. 39% say it leaves them overwhelmed by drama, and 31% say it makes them feel pressure to post popular content. That means many young people are not just using the platforms, they are being psychologically trained by them to chase reaction, trend, and approval. So when a teenager starts thinking, if my post does not blow, I am nobody. Today, public also includes WhatsApp, TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, YouTube comments, and private group chats that are never really private. The child who knows how to greet visitors but humiliates classmates online is not yet fully trained. The adult who speaks gently in church but forwards lies in family WhatsApp groups has not mastered character. So that takes us to narcissism. Narcissism online is not only taking many selfies, it is something deeper. It is the habit of making the self the center of every conversation. It is the hunger to be seen at all costs. It is turning life into a stage and other people into an audience, props, or even prey. It is when every event becomes content, every pain becomes branding, every meal becomes proof, every friendship becomes leverage, and every silence becomes unbearable because attention has become oxygen. And narcissism often travels with fake displays of wealth. Not all wealth online is fake, of course, but the social media age has made performance easier than prosperity. The social media age has made performance easier than prosperity. You can borrow, rent, stage, edit, crop, filter, or outright fabricate a lifestyle. The danger is not only that people lie to other people, the danger is that they begin to lie to themselves. They begin to believe that looking rich is the same as building wealth, that appearing booked is the same as being competent, that posting success is the same as becoming successful. But Yoruba wisdom warns us about disgrace. Another proverb says, It takes one day only for one to disgrace oneself. The shame is a daily affair. That is the internet in one sentence. One reckless lie, one fake certificate, one stolen idea, one staged charity act, one exposed scam, one leaked voice note, one manipulated testimony, one false claim of expertise, and the shame can live online far longer than the original post. Professionals should hear that very clearly. In the office, on LinkedIn, on conference stages, and in online business culture, there is enormous pressure to look like an expert before becoming an expert. But a career cannot be built sustainably on impression management. You may fool strangers for a season, you may even fool clients once. But work is a revealer. The Europa proverb put it sharply: the mouth cooks vegetable steel most expertly. The hand emulating a machete cuts a field most effortlessly. In plain language, many mouths boast, but reality is the ultimate test. So that brings us to fake expertise, one of the biggest problems of our age. Pew research found that about one in five Americans regularly get news from influencers on social media, and among adults under the age of 30, that figure rises to about 37%. Among teenagers, 34% say they at least sometimes get information about mental health on social media. And among those teenagers, 63% say it is an important source of that information. So now imagine the danger. A generation receiving health advice, financial advice, political interpretation, relationship guidance, and cultural commentary from people whose main proven skill may simply be how to hold attention. I'll say it again. Now imagine the danger. A generation receiving health advice, financial advice, political interpretation, relationship guidance, and cultural commentary from people whose main proven skill may simply be how to hold attention. This is why fake expertise is so seductive. It comes with confidence, it comes with aesthetics, it comes with certainty, it comes in short videos, clean fonts, attractive faces, smooth editing, dramatic music, and the language of let me tell you what nobody is saying. But confidence is not competence. Confidence is not competence. Virality is not verification. A beautiful background is not evidence of anything. A loud voice is definitely not wisdom. Even adults struggle with this. Offcom's 2025 research in the UK found that 49% of online adults said they had encountered misleading or false information on social media in 2024. The same report emphasized how hard it can be to judge what is genuine online, including fake profiles and misleading posts. So this is not only a youth problem. Elders, professionals, parents, educated people, religious leaders, everybody can be deceived when a lie is packaged attractively enough. And this is where elders are especially important. In Yoruba life, elders are not just older people. Ideally, they are custodians of proportion. They slow down panic, they cool down temperature. They ask questions before reaching conclusions. But in the digital age, some elders now do the opposite. They become the fastest distributors of unverified rumors sometimes on WhatsApp. They become the fastest distributors of miracle claims, political propaganda, or social panic. That is not elderhood. That is forwarding with wrinkles. Omoluabi says wisdom must mature faster than technology. Wisdom must mature faster than technology. So now let's talk about gossip and cyberbullying. One of the most beautiful and frightening Yoruba teachings on speech says, speech is an egg. If it drops on the floor, it shatters. In traditional life, that proverb warns people to use words carefully because damage can outlast the moment. In the digital age, the proverb has become even more powerful. A careless tweet can shatter trust. A mocking video can shatter confidence. A leaked chat can shatter a friendship. A humiliating group chat joke can shatter a teenager's sense of safety. A false allegation can shatter a reputation. Once released, words do not travel alone. They travel with screenshots, reposts, stitches, duets, and search engines. UNICEF reported that one in three young people across 30 countries said they had been a victim of online bullying, and one in five said they had skipped school because of cyberbullying and violence. Pew's 2025 report adds another layer. Among teenagers who worry about mental health, bullying is one of the factors they identify as harming young people. And many teenagers say social media leaves them overwhelmed by drama, excluded by friends, or worse, about their own lives. This means cyberbullying is not just kids being kids, it is social injury delivered through devices. And gossip online has become industrialized. In the old days, a tailbearer needed legs, physical legs. Today, a tailbearer needs only a data service. Gossip used to be limited by distance, now it is multiplied by speed. It used to fade with time, now it is searchable. It used to stay in compounds, now it becomes content. The result is that many people, including adults, now consume the humiliation of others as entertainment. Teenagers, hear me well. Forwarding that embarrassing picture is participation. Laughing with a cruel comment is participation. Recording someone's worst moments for likes is participation. Building a page around another person's shame is participation. Omaluabi does not ask only who started it. Omaluabi also asks who joined it, who enjoyed it, who helped it spread. Fellow parents, hear me as well. Some children are not bullies in daylight, but they become bullies after 10 p.m. on a smartphone. Some children are not victims in school corridors, but they are victims in bedrooms, under blankets, in silence. So discipline today must include digital supervision, emotional availability, and enough trust that a child can say, something happened online and I need help. Professionals, your version of gossip may wear better clothes. It may be posts about colleagues, anonymous workplace gossip pages, reputation warfare, pylons, or using insider information to perform superiority. But if it thrives on humiliation, distortion, or malice, it is still gossip. Omaluabi is not fooled by vocabulary. So last but not the least, digital self-control. The Omaluabi tradition emphasizes iwakwele or gentle character, often described as self-restraint. One explanation says that this gentle character is the soil in which other virtues grow. That matters because the internet trains the opposite instinct. It trains immediacy. React now, post now, retweet now, buy now, judge now. But character often begins with the power to pause. Digital self-control means I do not post every emotion. I do not answer every insult. I do not forward every rumor. I do not turn every disagreement into a public performance. I do not fake knowledge to avoid embarrassment. I do not fake wealth to gain respect. I do not use another person's pain to decorate my relevance. I do not confuse attention with honor. For teenagers, digital self-control means learning that not every trend deserves your face, your body, your opinion, or your vulnerability. For parents, it means creating homes where children can log off without feeling exiled from life. For professionals, it means choosing credibility over theatrics. For elders, it means refusing to become unpaid distributors of confusion. And all of us need a new kind of online home training. Before you post, ask, is this true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Is it mine to share? Will I be proud of this when I'm calm? If not, let it die in your drafts. Some of the greatest acts of wisdom in the digital age are invisible. The comment that is not posted, the insult that is not returned, the rumor that is not forwarded, the flex that is not performed, the lie that is not told, the stranger that is not mocked, the child that is not exposed, the ego that is not fed. Because in the end, that is the real contest online, not between old people and young people, not between tradition and technology, but between character and appetite. The social media age did not abolish Yoruba values, it only moved the battlefield into our pockets. So let me close this episode this way. If clout asks, can they see me? Omaluabi asks, what do they see? If narcissism asks, how do I make this about me? Omaluabi asks, how do I remain human? If gossip asks, have you heard? Omaluabi asks, should this be said? If fake expertise asks, can I sound convincing? Omaluabi asks, am I grounded in truth? If fake wealth asks, can I look important? If cyberbullying asks, how far can we drag this person? Omaluabi asks, what kind of people are we becoming? And if the internet asks for instant reaction, Omaluabi answers with self-control. Character is still beauty, name still matters, speech still shatters, noise is still not substance, and one day of disgrace can still become a daily shame. May we raise children who know this, may we become adults who model it, may our professionals honor it, may our elders defend it, and may all of us learn in this noisy age to be omolabi online. So that's all I have for this episode of the Yoruba Proverbs podcast. Um, if you've benefited from this episode, if you feel like this podcast as a whole is adding some value, please and please um kindly share the episode, the podcast, um, depending on whichever platform you are using to listen right now, you can send The podcast to whoever you think might also learn a thing or two. Um, you can share on WhatsApp, you can share on text messages, you can share however you want to share email and so on. So, again, um, thank you once again for being part of this, which is a learning process for me as well. And like I said in the beginning, a young person quoting proverbs in the presence of elders must do so humbly and respectfully. So I crave the indulgence of my parents, um, Yoruba elders worldwide as I narrate and break down and analyze these proverbs from my own perspective. And of course, none of these proverbs are definitively translated in one way or the other. The whole concept behind this is to glean the wisdom and the knowledge that our elders keep passing down to us. And this proverb, this podcast is basically doing just that so that we just pass on that knowledge as much as we can to as many people as possible, especially in this day and age where the younger ones don't even want to learn the language anymore, and they would rather be on social media and so on. So, anyway, thank you so much. Talk to you next time. Bye for now, I think.