Holla B.L.A.C.K.
Building community through conversations and motivation. We can all be Brave Leaders Accountable to Communicating Knowledge. When we know better there's no excuse but to do better. How do I grow if I don't have the knowledge of things necessary in communicating better, striving towards success, taking action, reading, listening, and Developing to become better for my community and future. Please give this podcast a rating and review and let us know what you think and help others in their journey to grow consistently. About Ronnel: Ronnel Blackmon is the owner of Morethanme and Host/Creator of the Holla Black Podcast; He is a public speaker, trainer, and aspires to motivate others to do their absolute best in achieving the goals that they have personally and professionally. As a part of More Than Me, he has created a podcast “Holla Black”. This is a podcast for those wishing to influence and encourage others through action and mindset development. He Believes that we can all be Brave Leaders that are Accountable to Communicating Knowledge, and develop each day by becoming better than the previous. Our goal is to build community through conversations and get the necessary information to our listeners that will help them become better each day. We have a passion to build Brave Leaders that are Accountable to Communicating Knowledge no matter your background or past circumstances. Moving forward is what we are doing and it starts with one step at a time.
Holla B.L.A.C.K.
Facing Fears and Building Confidence: Lessons in Growth and Success
Imagine facing your fears head-on, transforming them into stepping stones for personal growth and professional success. We explore just that in our latest episode of the Holla Black podcast. With inspiration from Thomas Edison and a motivating verse from Second Timothy, we embark on a journey to confront and name the fears that hold us back. Sharing personal stories about striving to be a better spouse or professional, we offer a reflective look into acknowledging fears and the path to overcoming them. Joined by our insightful guests, Eduardo and Natalie Cabanas, we uncover strategies for recognizing and tackling fears, setting the stage for transformative growth.
Ever wondered how breaking down daunting tasks can boost your confidence? Through Eduardo's marathon training story, we illustrate the power of preparation and meticulous planning. By starting with small steps and gradually increasing challenges, he demonstrates how confidence can be built one run at a time. Natalie adds to this narrative with her emotional journey during her first marathon, sharing the overwhelming sense of empowerment and gratitude that accompanies such achievements. We guide our listeners through transforming intimidating experiences, like the Dopey Challenge, into rewarding milestones by appreciating each step along the way.
The power of mindset transformation is undeniable, and we reveal how shifting your outlook can lead to success. By fostering a mindset of gratitude and visualizing your goals, you can harness a positive impact on your daily life. Personal stories from Eduardo and myself exemplify how visualization can aid in achieving athletic milestones and beyond. As we wrap up the episode, we emphasize the significance of inspiring leadership and effective communication, urging a commitment to continuous improvement. Encouraged by the wisdom of Thomas Edison and our heartfelt conversations, we invite you to join us in changing the world through love, knowledge, and a relentless pursuit of greatness.
Please make sure to share like and subscribe whether you are on iTunes, Spotify, or Buzzsprout and follow @ronnelblackmon and @hollablackpodcast so that we can continue to grow our community and build a better future for the generations behind us and ultimately those that will one day make decisions regarding us.
About the Host:
Ronnel Blackmon is the owner of Morethanme and Host/Creator of the Holla Black Podcast; He is a public speaker, trainer, and aspires to motivate others to do their absolute best in achieving the goals that they have personally and professionally. Known as "Your favorite Host and Emcee" Ronnel gets a chance to get on stages for some of the top companies and organizations all over the country.
As a part of More Than Me, he has created the podcast “Holla Black”. This is a podcast for those wishing to influence and encourage others through action and mindset development. He Believes that we can all be Brave Leaders that are Accountable to Communicating Knowledge, and develop each day by becoming better than the previous.
Ronnel Blackmon - Your Favorite Host and Emcee
IG: @ronnelblackmon
FB: @RonnelBlackmon
WEB: www.ronnelblackmon.com
well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back and thank you all for taking your time to listen to the hella black podcast or watch wherever you may be watching from now. We believe that everyone has a capacity to be a brave leader that's accountable to communicating knowledge. That's what black stands, that's where we truly stand on, and we hope that you see these episodes and conversations starters to grow our community and be stronger each and every single day. So, please, please, stay connected and consider subscribing to our podcast and our YouTube site, as well as liking and following and sharing this podcast, so that we can encourage more and more people to be better today than they were yesterday. Now, once again, before we get everything started, I would love to start this bad boy off, this episode off, with a quote, our quote for today. Our quote for today is our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always just try one more time. Ladies and gentlemen, that's brought to us by Thomas Edison. Once again, our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always just try one more time, one more time.
Speaker 1:Now I also want to share a Bible verse that correlates and is really in conjunction with this episode that we're going to talk about today. But like that Bible verse, it comes from Second Timothy, one through seven, and it says for God has not given us the spirit of Timothy, right, but it but of power and love and discipline, right? So, like he hasn't given us the spirit of fear Fear by definition, and specifically what we're going to talk about today, is that concern, that high level of anxiety, today's episode podcast. I want to share with you some ways that I truly believe we together can overcome fear. Again. Once again, that definition, that definition of fear that I want to hit on today is concern or anxiety. Now, other definitions might be specific instance or propensity of such a feeling, right, like just a feeling of discomfort. Another definition also can be something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension, right, something that a person may be afraid of. You may be afraid of snakes. You may be afraid of heights. You may be afraid of you know public speaking. You may be afraid of really just putting yourself out there in large crowds, large groups. You may be afraid of really just putting yourself out there in large crowds, large groups. You may be one. That is just a little bit more timid, but, as I said, 2 Timothy 1, 7, for God has not given us the spirit of timidity, but power, love and discipline. So, with that being said, let's dive into. Let's dive into these, um, these things that we, uh, have a opportunity, you know, to overcome. And how should I say we overcome these practical ways. Practical ways overcoming fear, personally and professionally. Okay, so, first things first. Let me drop that on there. Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Speaker 1:Number one acknowledge your fear. Do you take the time to just acknowledge the fact that you might be fearful? Now I can just think of some personal ways of being fearful, that am I being the best husband? Am I being the best father? Am I being the best friend? Right? But then also, you know, from a professional aspect, man, am I holding things down professionally right? Am I putting my best foot forward? Am I showing up as the best version of Ronell and giving my all right?
Speaker 1:You got to acknowledge those things, right. Like, am I doing these and almost do a self-reflection or a self-assessment and check the things off that you know that you would consider another person you know being great or doing something of significance, right? Are they following their blueprint, so to speak, in order to do that Right. So, recognize and name your fear. That's acknowledging right. Like I acknowledge the fact that sometimes you know A from a. You know just regular, normal A. Like I recognize that I don't want my team to lose.
Speaker 1:My team, ohio State, was just in the national championship game and I recognize the fact that I was very fearful that we weren't going to show up. The team that I've been seeing for the last couple of weeks or whatnot you know, was not going to show up. You got to recognize that. You got to name that fear, but then you got to understand, right, that what you're afraid of allows you to address it effectively instead of avoiding it.
Speaker 1:When you're able to recognize that thing, when you're able to name it, now you can address it effectively. You can properly look at what are some of the things that I can do. You know, in order to be the very best person, that I wish to be right. In order to, you know, be the best husband, father, the best wife, whatever you may be right. In order to show up at the gymnasium, right, and you know, give my best game. In order to show up at the gymnasium, right, and, you know, give my best game in order to show up to the field right, in order to show up to whatever you know it. Is that start line right? Are you recognizing that fear and are you naming it All right? Here we go, we are back. We are back back. We're talking about acknowledging your fear and, yes, I got a quick call and I'm excited to bring them in. I have eduardo and natalie cabanas say what's up.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes yes, now, just to give you guys, to catch you all up, what we're doing. We're talking about 10 practical ways that we can overcome fear, whether it be personal, professional, whatever the case may be, and you all just jumped in, should I say. I'm bringing you in right at number one. So acknowledging your fear, recognizing, naming your fear and understanding that what you're afraid of allows you to address it effectively instead of just avoiding it, do you guys, have you ever, have you ever, had to acknowledge any fears?
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely, I think that's something that every person out there can relate to. Right, the first step of being able to overcome a fear is first is having that self awareness that you even have it. So saying it, naming it, being able to describe it, I think is just something that can help you take one step closer to, you know, beating it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And you know it's interesting and it just came to mind. Do you know that I used to have a fear of speaking in front of people?
Speaker 2:I don't believe that. Oh my gosh, yeah, no way so serious.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no, I did. I mean, I was always very, like, too much concerned with man. Am I saying the right things? Am I pronouncing the words correctly? Am I, you know, saying the person's name right? You know how are they going to receive me now and I don't know if you know this, but I really enjoy being around people, I enjoy collaborating with people and I really, I really don't want to upset certain folks Right, especially in the workplace.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:With that being said, me having high level of anxiety, high concern for the way other people thought right Of my performance was always kind of one of those things, and I have to acknowledge that.
Speaker 2:Right, I can totally relate to that. You can ask Natalie, my wife always having the fear of speaking, public speaking, speaking in front of people, how I'm going to sound. Is my vocabulary up to par? Am I speaking clearly? Yeah, just growing up. You know my parents come from Mexico City, so learn Spanish and English at the same time and you know, growing up you definitely have a blend of the two, where the accent was prevalent, very prominent and noticeable and throughout time. Definitely it was one thing that would always be in the back of my mind where I didn't want to speak, thing that would always be in the back of my mind where I didn't want to speak and I was more of like the quiet person, just kind of reserved, just because I didn't want to feel judged or didn't want to say anything out of line, or just can I hold a conversation?
Speaker 1:right.
Speaker 2:And once I got to a certain age I don't remember what age, but you know learning, reading books, self-growth, self-development, personal development is one of my favorite topics.
Speaker 1:Right on. Yes, we are yes.
Speaker 2:Throughout that that fear. Talking about fears, I learned that that was a fear and I had to really dig deep and figure out why that was my fear. And I slowly, throughout time, learned that it was just growing up with two different languages at the same time, where I was mixing the two. So you really have to dive deep in with the fears and kind of get to the root of where that's coming from. And then now my thing is whatever gives me anxiety or some kind of fear, it's my sign to kind of tackle that on and just kind of go ahead in first and push through Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. You know it's interesting because you told me something before running a marathon weekend going down to Walt Disney doing the Dopey Challenge. You were like, hey, bro, we do tough things right, like we lean towards tough things instead of avoiding them. And that's what a lot of people have a tough time even doing with their fears, right, like identifying them and effectively just really allowing for them to come out in order for them to be able to tackle it, right. So, number one, number one thing that you must do, you must do is acknowledge that fear. Now, with that being said, bro, I definitely want to keep moving because I know you don't have a lot of time, you guys. I just kind of brought you on here very quickly and without any preparation, any knowledge of you coming on here, but hey, we're here, we're here now.
Speaker 2:Come on, so we're going to move on. It made us nervous. And you know talking about doing eagerly doing hard things.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to go with it. Let's go.
Speaker 1:Let's go, we're going with it. All right, here we go. So that's number one is acknowledging your fear. Number two breaking it down. So what I mean by breaking it down is, you know, really dividing those overwhelming fears into very small, manageable steps. Oftentimes I hear the analogy I don't know why people use this, but I understand it. They say how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? So what we're talking about is, with those fears, breaking them down, tackling each step individually to build confidence and reduce intimidation.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go back to that speaking thing. The more and more and more that I did it in front of people, the more I heard my voice, the more I practiced that thing. Oh, my goodness bro, it was like I'm now able to get up there confidently and speak and hear my voice and, you know, speak to other people, whether and whether people like it or not. It just kind of ends up being like, hey, that's your prerogative Right. It just kind of ends up being like, hey, that's your prerogative right. Like, my thing is that I am building confidence and I'm reducing the intimidation that this public speaking thing brings apart, right? So, breaking things down, thinking about, you know, marathon training, I know E. I mean and I'm speaking to all our runners right now, we got you know Eduardo Cabanas, aka Crop Top. Eddie man, tell me about, like bro, you right now are embarking on, I believe, your first marathon, correct?
Speaker 2:This is true.
Speaker 1:This is correct. So tell me about this whole, because you're going through the training phase and with any marathon you should train and you shouldn't just go out there and run 26.2 miles. But how you train is by breaking it down. And tell me, man, how are you breaking it down?
Speaker 2:Well, I used to be one to say and you can ask Natalie, uh, I'm never going to run a marathon. The first person that ran a marathon in ancient Greek times died and that was my sign. So I was like no, never going to do that, I hate running, Not going to do it.
Speaker 2:Uh and then seeing seeing Natalie pursue that, it motivated me. So how I started to break it down was last year, 2024, I told myself I'm just going to run one mile a day. So kind of breaking it down, chipping away little by little, instead of trying to go run three miles or a 5k or a 10k when I haven't put in the work. I said, let me, baby, step my way into this. And you know, a mile to a lot of people can be a lot, or a mile to other people can be not enough. So but to me I said this is getting my time on my feet and just taking it little by little each day. And then the miles got longer throughout the weeks and months.
Speaker 2:So and baby steps taking it in baby steps.
Speaker 1:Taking it in baby steps. Now, natalie, I know you have completed a couple, matter of fact quite a few, marathons. Breaking it down, thinking about, like some of those fears, like what was it like stepping to that first start line of a marathon?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Well, because you've never, really you've never done that before in life. Yeah, you have all different types of emotions right.
Speaker 3:There's some anxiety, there's some nerves, there's some excitement, but I think one of the coolest things about running a marathon for the first time is just to think you know you can do it at almost any age there's people out there proving you know that you can do late and through all the years of life and to think that the older you get, there's still something that you can accomplish that you've never done in life ever it's just such a cool and exhilarating and set your, set yourself on fire type of thing yeah um.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I mean, towing the start line of your first marathon is probably one of the coolest experiences that you can ever have, and that's why, yeah, it's definitely cool to see Eduardo going after his first. Anybody that's listening to this that thinks it's not possible, talk to anybody that's done it and they'll tell you a million reasons why.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. Now I'm going to tell you something even crazier, right? So, talking about this Dopey Challenge where we did a 5K, 10k, half marathon and then full marathon, not like in one race, I'm talking about over only the training, because I've trained for a marathon before but I've never trained for, you know, back to back to back, day after day, doing a race, a timed race at that. But you know, I thought about it in a sense of man, it's just one mile at a time. Each step right, each step makes you, takes you closer, and then having the experience of the Disney experience just made it even more exciting, more fun and more enjoyable.
Speaker 1:Right To tackle each and every single mile and have that celebratory photo with a character or whatever the case it may be. And I even encourage you, eduardo, as you embark on this new journey of completing your first marathon, like, I even encourage you to look at those gratitude miles right, like, and think about the fact that, man, I'm able. I used to only be able to do one mile, but here I am now able to do one, two, three, four, five, six, all the way to 26.2. I used to hate heels and now I know your, your, your phrases. What's your phrase about the heels bro?
Speaker 2:I love heels, baby. I love heels. That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm talking. And even in heel training, right Even in running a heel, you got to break that thing down.
Speaker 2:It's step at a time yeah, and that's actually one thing that I tell myself, uh, when I'm running and when things get really hard, um, my last half marathon, I wanted pr yeah it was getting a little little tough.
Speaker 2:And one thing that I always would tell myself and I got this from the movie uh creed, um, it's one one, one breath at a time, one step at a time, one mile at a time, and then just keep. I kept repeating that out loud and there was just something where, versus saying it in your mind and saying it out loud, when I said it out loud, I began to believe it, I began to say it and. I began to actually do it. So yeah, mindset man.
Speaker 1:Hey mindset, and not only does it build confidence in mentally, but physically. I feel like you. You build so much confidence in the capacity that you can give Right, just breaking that thing down. Take it in a small steps, but manageable steps Right down. Take it into small steps, but manageable steps right and each step individually, just building that confidence, reducing the less of the intimidation that that large goal or that large thing may have. Now, that's number two, breaking it down. Number three this is where I think you guys are going to love, eduardo and Natalie, because this right here.
Speaker 1:number three is prepare and plan right, prepare and plan that I mean when we're we're talking about truly like, not only getting rid of fear, but tackling it right, knocking it out to park and becoming stronger in the way that you do that Not number one, not number two, but also number three is preparing and planning right. Whether, if it's in a professional setting, right Preparing might help you reduce that fear significantly of you know, presenting to your team, of turning in, that you know that draft or that big project that's due, but it also could be, you know, that big decision that you have to make. Being well-prepared boosts so much confidence. Now I know you to wake up early in the morning Cause I see it on social media all the time.
Speaker 1:Right, you can follow at Natty legs. Follow at crop top Eddie. Follow at Eduardo Cabana has. Follow at Natalie. I'm just giving you all your handles right now, but you know what I mean. Like, I follow you guys and I see how you're preparing and planning, not only for your day but also for your month, for your year. Like, talk to me a little bit about that. How has that helped you in tackling some fears or maybe even some areas of significance when trying to get things done?
Speaker 2:Oh man. Yeah, this topic definitely gets us fired up. But I got this from Matt. She really put me on the whole planning and strategizing and habit tracking, so I'm going to let her take this one, okay.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah. So I would say that one of the things that well, we like to say, um or a phrase that we like, is to call it the way. The way is, uh, we believe that planning your day out, waking up early, starting with gratitude and tracking your habits If you do those four things on a regular basis, that you will live the best version of your life.
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on, hold on. That was good, that was good. You got to go back. You got to go back, you got to give me that way. Hold on Hold on.
Speaker 3:Say that again Now the way. We believe that if you plan out your day, you wake up early you start with gratitude and you track your habits.
Speaker 3:If you do those four things on a daily basis, that you will live the best version of your life. And yeah, we've, we've proven it. Uh, I'm really proud to say that this is the third year that we've actually tracked our habits on a daily basis. And you know um to your point. You know attacking a fear or like going after any goal. How do you know if you're making progress unless you're keeping track? I think that a lot of times, people are like oh, I'm so frustrated because I'm not getting anywhere, and it's like well, how do you know you're not getting anywhere if you're not actually keeping track of what you're doing? You could have been getting somewhere, but you just don't even know because you have no data to prove it.
Speaker 3:You could have been getting somewhere, but you just don't even know, because you have no data to prove it.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I mean, I think from the outside looking in, like tracking if you got up early or not might seem silly to somebody, but you know, that's how we started waking up at 4 am. It wasn't a overnight thing, but instead we did it, you know, over a month. We went from waking up at 530 all the way to waking up at four, and that took about six months time. So, yeah, just going feels big. Then you are able to, you know, tick off each one of those small steps, gain that confidence and before you know it you'll have accomplished something big or tackled, you know, a big fear that you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's good, because, you know, oftentimes I have I'm always in conversations about, you know, goal setting and, hey, like you know, what are some uh ways or some nuggets or some tips that you would give, and that preparation aspect, that planning aspect, right, writing your goals down, being able to read them, being able to share them right, having them in the forefront of your mind just allows for you to be so much more confident, so much more um, uh, when, when you're, when you're sharing them, it shows the love, the care, the, the passion, right, that that you have in it and that's what gets rewarded, right. I feel like that's one of those, um, that's one of those secrets to success, so to speak, right, where it's like, hey, if you continue to prepare yourselves Right, what do we talk about? I always talk about this equation for success Preparation plus opportunity equals success. If you prepare and plan, you will be successful when the opportunity comes.
Speaker 1:Right and and and I mean I just think about the fact that if, if I don't train for this marathon right, then I'm not going to be successful.
Speaker 1:If I don't create a plan, if I don't follow that plan, then I'm pretty much throwing a question mark in the air whether you know on what to do, I won't know about nutrition, I won't know about my hydration, and then that's where the big issues come from is because we lacked that area of preparation and planning and ultimately, a lot of people don't finish, a lot of people don't reach that finish line. They don't reach the level of success or reaching their goals because of that lack of preparation, that lack of planning. Man, like that is something, and I love the fact that you all share it on social media. You share it to your friends, your family, because you allow them to see, you allow them to see the steps right. It's not just that you're talking it, it's like hey, let me show you. This is exactly what I'm doing. The proof is in this pudding, so that when they see the success, it's like man, how did they do that?
Speaker 2:Right. How did they get over the fear?
Speaker 1:of you know being able to talk about their goals, or talk about their plans, or talk about how they prepare. Oh well, they just did it. They did it on a daily basis, right, you know? Like, man, how do I fit, how do I get into a crop top?
Speaker 2:I have to prepare and plan.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, it comes from nutrition and it comes from physical fitness. So, no, that right, there is good. So that's number three, and I'm going to keep the party going because I know we could talk forever and I know you guys have to go, but I don't. But I want to give you as much time or give, should I say, the listeners and everyone else as much time as these things deserve. Number four is reframing your mindset. Ok, reframing your mindset.
Speaker 1:View fear as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat, right? So let's reframe this thing. So, instead of it's a threat against me, right, it's an opportunity for me to grow. Eduardo, you said that a little bit earlier. Right, just leaning into the hard things, reminding yourself that discomfort often accompanies progress and learning. Now, my wife will tell you we are forever learners. Right, we are forever learners, and a lot of times that we are fearful is because it's something that we haven't done, right, like it's something that it's just brand new territory. It's new. It's just so new to us that you know the discomfort is something that we'll shy away from because we like to be comfortable.
Speaker 2:We love our comfort things right.
Speaker 1:We love to be safe and our mind oftentimes will tell us, hey, stay the safe route right, keep it on it. Keep it in a safer frame, like when it comes to reframing your mindset right. Has there ever been an opportunity that you've seen was for growth rather than as a threat? Either one of you, either one.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, um, every day, right, I mean every day. Uh, every mindset is an everyday choice, um, which is why we always start our day with gratitude, because gratitude is a choice, it's a decision, right, it does, it doesn't just come. Gratitude is an active decision and, yeah, those opportunities show up every day, right, whether it hits traffic. Right, you have the choice to either let the traffic bother you and I'm guilty, yeah, traffic, yeah, can get to me right, me, right. So, but which is why we start our day the way that we do and as early as we do? Because it sets the tone for the day.
Speaker 1:It sets the mindset for the day.
Speaker 2:Um I you know it took me a while to be about gratitude and seeing opportunities right, even something as simple as the opportunity to ask the cash register person how's your day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's something that I learned from that. I wasn't used to doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I saw her do that and you know she was being the light for me and for that person. She was showing me how to tap in or how to use this opportunity to make someone smile and maybe even make their day. Nobody really asks them how their day is going.
Speaker 1:They just look at them as providing a service.
Speaker 2:Right. I don't know if Nat wants to say something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've read this book not too long ago, but it really the name of it really hit me. It's called Start your Day With Yay.
Speaker 1:And yeah, it talks about.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it literally just talks about all the different pockets of life where there's so many opportunities for you to like insert excitement or energy or light in people's day, and a great example is literally just treating somebody at the grocery store as an actual person and not just, you know to your point, somebody doing a service for you. So, yeah, it's a mindset right Like. The hard truth is, anybody's life could be worse. Any day could be worse. There's so many things that literally could be going wrong.
Speaker 3:But if you could just change your mindset and literally think about all the things that you do have, I mean your day will be completely different. If you just listed out all the blessings in your life, like, and just look at that list every single day or, you know, just try to list one, I mean you will be amazed at how the mindset will shift. I mean I know people that just wake up angry, myself included, and I'm like, why am I so angry? And then I'm like, man, you know, we think we live in this. We live in this life where we immediately wake up and we think we didn't get enough.
Speaker 3:We didn't get enough sleep. We didn't get enough time to get to work. It's never. It's never enough. And if you can switch that mindset to thinking, you know that you are abundant and you have these blessings it will change the course of your day and that's all just your mindset.
Speaker 1:You know. It's interesting that you say that when you were sharing that. It got me to thinking. I used to wake up comparing myself to people Right, and I took that as a threat. I even thought about even at order when you were talking about you know, speaking to the cashier Right Speaking to you know, that person at the cash register it's like you know I possibly, if my wife would have did that, I may have taken that as a threat, like why are you speaking to this person that you don't even know? Right Versus? I love the way that you reframe that as far as growth Right Versus.
Speaker 2:I love the way that you reframe that as far as growth man, let me try that Right. Like go ahead Really quick, not to cut you off. I'm sorry, but that that's how. That's literally what my mindset was when I was first exposed to that doing that. I was like why is she doing that? Because I wasn't used to it Right, wasn't used to it right, but you know it it's. It's funny because doing the right thing takes twice as much as twice the amount of energy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right anybody. Anybody can have a bad attitude anybody can, cannot say hi to anybody, but if you want to be different, it takes double the effort, yeah yeah, you gotta dare to be different.
Speaker 1:I remember takes double the effort. Yeah, yeah, you got to dare to be different. I remember my grandmother. She said, ronell, dare to be different. Right, and to your point, it does. It takes double the effort and I think a lot of people sometimes may just get careless with giving the effort. It's just like, oh, it's none of my business, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Or maybe they maybe they care, but they don't. They're, they're threatened by the conversation that may come from it. Right, you know what I mean. Right, and you never know again what you could learn from just that interaction. Just that you know opportunity, so to speak. Right Like we talk about, right, instead of looking at it as a threat, look at it as an opportunity for growth. Right Like I look at you, e and man, you are a speed demon, bro, you are one of the fastest people, like good gracious, and I thought that I was going to be able to train with you. I'm not going to lie. I was going to say, hey, e, let's get some miles in. Let me know when you're going to hit the trails or the you know whatever. And then you start to tell me your, your, your miles per minute or your minutes per mile whichever I was like well, maybe, maybe I'll get on that electric bike.
Speaker 1:Maybe I'll just be there for, and I kind of looked at it very as a threat versus man. Well, man, this is an opportunity for me actually to get with somebody that I know I care about and actually possibly get faster, get stronger, get better, right, just by being around you, just by being with you, right, and just also recognizing man. Before I ran, I walked before, right I. After I walked, I jogged, right, Like so there was a process that came through and now I'm able to reframe my mindset and say, well, there's an opportunity for growth there, right, like, I thought I was doing good, I'm doing great, blah, blah, blah, blah. And man, you know what? I probably could get a little bit faster right Now I enjoy, I enjoy my crowd, I enjoy my group. I truly believe your race, your pace, right, whatever it is. But I think that there's always an opportunity for growth and we should view fear and reframe our mindset as this is an opportunity for us to get better versus something that can harm us.
Speaker 2:Okay, right, I want to say one last thing Go ahead.
Speaker 2:On the topic of the threat right, just one question, rhetorical question for you, your listeners Next time we feel a threat because someone is doing something or says something or is accomplishing something it relates to mindset Maybe next time, ask yourself why do I feel threatened? And like really, really try to dig deep and answer that question on your own Right it's not for right now Like, why am I, why do I feel threatened, why is it bothering me? And then that's where you really start to dive deep into the mindset and allowing yourself to make that mindset shift. So a question for your listeners, question for you. No, you're right, we feel threatened.
Speaker 1:You're right, you know what I'm going to take it on a personal perspective, and you just gave me something that was really good. I'm going to take it personally. Right, I'm going to take it personally to. You know, I feel like it's a threat against men. No, I'm going to. I'm going to say it's a threat against me when I am compared to other guys in my relationship. Right, like, I'm going to grant it.
Speaker 1:My wife does not do that often, right, but, like, mentally, I feel threatened by if I see, you know, another dad spending more time with their kids. Or I feel more threatened when I see you know another dad spending more time with their kids. Or I feel more threatened when I see the comparison or hear the comparison of other men and how they, you know, treat their wives or whatever. And it's like, well, you know, I don't have to do that because. And it's like, no, well, maybe it's an opportunity, right, like with the different holidays that come up, you know, I can, I can easily say, well, you know, I show my wife love every day of the year, 365, you know, well, hold on, instead of looking at it as a threat as far as this holiday is coming up, you know, instead of looking at it as a threat, look as an opportunity, right, like to step outside and say hey, honey, what are some things that you would like to do, and let's do them together, right, and that is an opportunity for your relationship to grow and get even the closer. Oh, my goodness, reframe and mindset right there.
Speaker 1:Number four and we're going to keep moving because I know I keep telling people. I'm not trying to hold you forever. We might have to do a part two. Matter of fact, this is going to be the last point. This point number five is going to be the last point. This point number five is going to be the last point because we're going to have to do a part number two. And, eduardo, natalie, hopefully you guys can be a part of that one as well, because this has been awesome. I don't know if you feel?
Speaker 2:it. I don't know if you feel it, but I'm feeling it. Okay, yeah, no, I love this, I love this.
Speaker 1:Awesome, awesome. So we're going to end right here. We're going to end with this fifth one, this fifth thing that helps us to overcome fear Practice visualization. Gosh, that's a tongue twister and I got these little braces on. Whatever the case may be, neither here nor there. Number five practice visualization. Right, imagine yourself successfully handling that situation.
Speaker 1:Positively visualizing helps create a sense of calm, right, a sense of readiness. Right, like I'm ready for this thing because I'm mentally prepared. I've mentally seen this already come to pass, right, like this is, in a sense, a deja vu. There are so many times in life, as a father, you know, I'm going to get a great opportunity to see my son playing a basketball game today and I'm visualizing him making that shot and running down court. Happy, right, and I'm hoping that you know, as an athlete many of them out there that you all are practicing visual visualization as well.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I keep getting tongue tied over that word, but neither here nor there, you know, we want to think through. Hey, what is it going to feel like, what is it going to look like when I'm standing in front of that crowd of thousands and, you know, cheering them on or encouraging them to have a great race, or encouraging them. To you know, go after their successes. To you know, get over those fears right, is there opportunity? And have you guys ever experienced any moments where you had to practice those visualization techniques, so to speak?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would definitely say something super recently that hit home and that would be this December when I was running the Honolulu marathon. I told Eduardo this right after the races. It was my third marathon and you know a bunch of people had told me that anytime you run a marathon you should set multiple goals for a number of reasons, but essentially you know a time goal, a, a, a field goal and an experience goal. So you know hours of you running. You know, just in case one goal goes out the window you have an opportunity to still hit the other one.
Speaker 3:So for me, you know, one of my goals was that I just wanted to PR. That was, that was the safe goal. Um, the truth was that I really wanted to break four.
Speaker 1:Uh, and I remember while I was running, um, since I had so much time to think about it, yeah, cause when she says break four for those of you that don't make run marathons or are new, she's talking about four hours. Yeah, talking about four hours of running. Breaking four hours, it's a mental trust me, it's trust me, it's a mental thing. Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, oh yeah, and I was just laughing because, probably, probably about halfway through, you know, the fatigue really starts to set in. And I just remember visualizing, you know Eduardo spent the entire training, block hours. You know hours and hours, weeks and weeks, sacrificing you know weekends of, you know family time or time with friends, literally to train with me. And I remember I was seeing two things. I was visualizing two things. One, me crossing the finish line and, you know, not breaking four, which I knew was possible. And it was all the conversations of oh, good job, natalie, you did it. Oh, um, congrats, another marathon Right. And it was people. People would tell me congrats and they would be happy for me and it would be okay. But deep down, my competitive nature, I knew that the conversation would be completely different if I actually did break four miles or four hours and the conversations would be completely different. People would say you annihilated your goal. Oh, my God, in the heat, that's incredible.
Speaker 3:And you know it was just. It was going to be a completely different experience. And I visualized the look in Eduardo's face If I did break four hours, and the tears like streaming down my face and the hug versus the it's okay, babe. You know, you did it Casual hug, I'm so proud of you. And I remember telling him afterwards I visualized that because it also was. You know, am I going to actually be the inspiration that I said that I wanted to be? Am I going to actually hit this goal that I set out and that I've worked so hard for? And that's so many people that I know were cheering for me? Right, and it was in in that moment. When you're out on the course and when you are tired and fatigued, it's like you know, those are. That's the time when you have got to show up. And I remember the guy that I was running with said to me he was like I can tell that you've been training, but now is your time to show the world that, like you've been training.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I mean, it was super powerful just to imagine and visualize those two things, and I knew the conversations that I wanted to have. I wanted to hug Eduardo and. I wanted us both to just feel that like we had accomplished that goal together yeah, and that was just.
Speaker 3:It was absolutely incredible, and I know for a fact that, because I visualized it for like 10, 12, 15 miles, that that's one of the reasons why I was able to do it. So, yeah, it's so powerful and it's it's proven right that there's so many athletes out there that visually win or visually visualize the win. Yeah, they visualize the win and it helps them do it, you know, like race car drivers, basketball players, I mean. You see it in movies. So, yeah, it's a proven technique that wins, that wins, that works.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely, and think about this too. When we think about fear, you think about anxiety. Absolutely, and think about this too. When we think about fear, you think about anxiety, right. When you think about anxiety, you want to be calm, you want to be ready, right, you want to know that. You want to have confidence, right, you want to overcome these fear whatever, whatever piece of fear that it might be right, if it's you know not, and I don't like to call it failures, but, like you know, just coming up short, right, not achieving your goal, man, you want to give yourself that positive visualization, as Nat said, crossing that finish line, completing your race, having fun and guess what, even if you don't feel great throughout the race.
Speaker 1:If you completed in the goal that you completed in guess what? That goes out the window, that doesn't matter. Great throughout the race. If you completed in the goal that you completed in guess what, that goes out the window, that doesn't matter, because you did it right, like, like, like that sense of calm, that sense of man. I did this right, like, I completed this thing and I did it in the time that I meant to and I trained for this.
Speaker 1:And I tell everyone, you know, in every race, at every you know marathon that I've been a part of, you know, I tell them. I say, hey, you know this is the celebration. You've already trained for it, right, like you've trained for this moment already. You've already did everything that you needed to do in order to get right here to the start line. So just take a inhale confidence, exhale doubt. Right, visualize yourself crossing that finish line, running these miles, enjoying it, going through your playlist, looking at your clock whatever the case may be, you know, drinking your hydration, taking your nutrition in, and you now are more confident, you are now prepared, are you now are more confident, you are now prepared, and it gives you just that stronger sense of calmness, right, when you practice those visualization techniques and imagine yourself to be successful. Wow, wow, wow.
Speaker 1:Well, guys, you know I truly appreciate you all just spending the time and jumping on, and I know it was very unexpected, but you know, I do believe that not only did you bring you know the podcast, some quality information, but also just another level of you know communication, another level of community, another opportunity that you know we all can knowledgeable knowledge. We can have more knowledge, better knowledge, stronger knowledge and continue to be those brave leaders that are accountable to communicating each and every single day. Now, once again, this podcast is to you know, encourage more and more people to be better today than they were yesterday. Again, ladies and gentlemen, I'm your favorite host and MC Ronnell Blackman, and I hope you please consider subscribing to the YouTube channel, subscribing and following us on this journey that we have here at Holla Black, so that we can continue to be seen and share a good word and hopefully change the world through love and knowledge. With that, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to wrap it up. We're going to have some fun.
Speaker 1:Eduardo, natalie, thank you so very much. I truly appreciate you for being a part of today's Holla Black episode. Ladies and gentlemen, let's go. Let's have a great day, let's have a great month, let's have a great week, let's have a great year. And remember our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always just try one more time. That's Thomas Edison. Again, our verb of the day, our Bible verse of the day, is for God has not given us a spirit of fear, timidity, but the power love.