Zee Michaelson Travel

Loneliness, Connection, and Solo Travel Confidence

Belinda Zimmerman

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0:00 | 16:02

Welcome And Series Context

SPEAKER_00

Hello, and welcome to Traveling Solo, a Z Michelson travel production presented by Calud Travel Media Network. Hi, I'm Z Michelson. I'm a travel advisor. I'm a media host, and an advocate for women who refuse to wait to see the world. Now, if you've been listening to my series on solo travel, thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you were listening to last week when I spoke with Diane from Ammal Waterways and what they do for solo travelers. It was a great episode. And in the coming weeks, I'm going to be talking with more vendors, and I'm going to be talking with more solo travelers like yourselves, and how they started traveling by themselves, what they like the most about traveling solo. But this is where independence meets intention, and where women learn to travel solo with confidence. So in today's episode is something I hear about all the time. All the time. It's not about fear. It's about loneliness. Let's talk about it. It's a myth of solo equals lonely. Somewhere along the way we were taught something subtle. That being alone must mean something's missing. Right? That if you're dining by yourself, walking through a museum alone, sitting on a balcony watching the sunset without someone next to you, you must be a very lonely person. How many times have you heard that? I personally periodically love to go out and dine by myself. I sit at a r at a cafe, I have an enjoyable meal, I watch the people walk by. When I go to a museum, I like going by myself sometimes. Sometimes it's what interests me that don't interest my friends or family. And I go to the museum. But there's a massive difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Alone is a circumstance. Lonely is a state of disconnection. And here's the truth. Many women feel lonelier in a relationship than they ever do on a solo trip. That's right, you heard me right. Many women feel lonelier in a relationship than they ever do on a solo trip. Solo travel doesn't create loneliness. It reveals whether you're comfortable in your own company. You're your best friend. Whether you believe it or not. So why loneliness feels louder when we travel? Well, when we travel solo, the distractions are all gone. There's no routine, there's no familiar environment, there's no automatic social cues. You notice your thoughts more. You notice quiet more. You notice yourself more. And sometimes that can make you feel uncomfortable. But discomfort is not loneliness, it's just awareness. And awareness is growth. Now there are three types of solo travelers. Three types. You want me to break them down for you? Well, here's the first one. There are three emotional styles of solo travelers, and the first one is the fully independent. Now the fully independent solo traveler thrives on solitude and rarely feels lonely. Number two, the social connector. The social connector wants independence, but also enjoys interaction in doses. So they want to be with people and then they don't want to be with people. Also, the transitional traveler. That's the third one on my list. The transitional traveler. What is that? This is the people or the women that are new to solo travel. They're still adjusting to their own company. Now none of these types are wrong. The key is knowing which one you are. So have you thought about it? Do you fit into the fully independent that thrives in solitude? Do you fit into the social connector? You want a little independence and you want a little interaction? Or are you brand new? Do you fit into the transitional traveler? And the reason is because loneliness usually happens when expectations don't match personality. You might be expecting something and it's just it's just not you. So now, designing connection without losing independence. Here's where solo travel becomes an art. You can build connection intentionally without surrendering autonomy. That's right. Okay, you want some examples. Examples. Alright. Stay in a boutique hotel where there are communal spaces. Or how about joining a food tour or a walking tour? Now that might be right up your alley. Are you into are you a foodie? Now here you are with other foodies. You can sit at a bar instead of a table. Now when you're sitting at the bar in a restaurant, it is conducive to conversation. Or you can take a small group day excursion. The group is small, it gets you out there, an excursion that might be of interest to you. You don't need a full travel companion. You just need micro moments of connection. I like that micro moments of connection. That's the sweet spot. Now, women over fifty and the loneliness question. All right. I'm over fifty. Yes, I'm married. But I also travel by myself because I'm a traveler advisor, and sometimes my husband cannot accompany me. And I kind of like sometimes going by myself. I'm you're a typical tourist. I love it. But let's talk honestly. Women in midlife and beyond sometimes worry. If I travel alone, will people think something's wrong? There's nothing wrong with a woman enjoying her own life. There isn't. And I meet a lot of women that travel by themselves. And you know something? Every woman says they love it. They love to get out there, they love to see it, they have nobody telling them what they can and cannot see. They enjoy that. So the confidence in solitude is magnetic. And here's something interesting. Women traveling solo are often approached more respectfully than they expected. Can you figure that? Women traveling solo are often approached more respectfully than they expect. Why is that? Well, I'll tell you. Because confidence changes posture, it changes energy, and people respond to that because you're confident. People see that. So now you're traveling by yourself. So when loneliness does happen, now let's normalize something. Sometimes you will feel lonely, but maybe only on the first night, or maybe during your first dinner, or perhaps during a holiday. And you know something? That's okay. Loneliness is a wave, it's not a permanent state. So here's what's recommended. Change your environment. Take a walk. Go to the cafe. Go to the lobby. Give someone a call briefly. You know, maybe you want to share an experience with a buddy. Or journal. Journal your experiences. Plan the next day's activity. That'll get your mind racing and the excitement that you're gonna feel the next day. And you can join a spontaneous experience. Something that happens all of a sudden. Go somewhere on the spur of the moment. Be spontaneous. Loneliness fades when movement begins. Want me to repeat that? Loneliness fades when movement begins. I like that. Now, there is a hidden gift of solo time. Yep. Believe it or not, there's a hidden gift. Here's the deeper layer most people don't talk about. When you remove constant company, you hear your own thoughts clearly. You remember what you like. You know, you've been with a family for so long, your kids are all grown up. You know, you used to do things that the kids liked. You didn't think of what you wanted to do. Now you remember what you like. You reconnect with your intuition. That's right. Your own intuition. You're reconnecting with it. You rediscover who you are outside of your roles. It really is a hidden gift. And that's not loneliness, that's reconnection. And that is powerful. Again, I meet a lot of people, particularly women that travel solo. And when I speak with them, and we'll be speaking with them in the coming weeks along with some more vendors, you're going to hear first-time stories of how they started traveling by themselves or why they like to travel by themselves. Or what made them start going out and traveling solo. Now, like I said, in the upcoming weeks, I'm going to be talking to more of the industry vendors. Like I spoke with Diane from Emma Waterways, because the industry is shifting towards social solo. That's right. The travel industry is really, really catching on to this. Cruise lines are now offering solo lounges. So, in other words, other solo travelers like yourself have a place to meet and congregate. Tour companies eliminate single supplements. So not every tour company and not every cruise line and not every hotel are removing single supplements completely. But they are doing some removal of single supplements, lowering single supplement fees. Um, what is a single supplement? I've talked about this on some of my other podcasts. Basically, when you're traveling, when you're traveling on a cruise or you're traveling in a hotel, what do they always say? This is the price per person, but it's based on double occupancy. So guess what? You're paying the price for two. However, the travel industry catching on to this is now having exceptions. They're either waiv the double occupancy and the solo fees, or they're lessening them. Talk to your travel advisor. Talk to your travel advisor. Let them know that you're traveling solo. Have them research what you want to do and see if any of these companies are offering single supplements or waiving fees and so forth. They will know and they'll find out and they'll let you know. So it helps you out. As a matter of fact, that was my episode on solo traveling and budgeting. You can go back and review it if you want. So cruise lines are now offering solo lounges, tour companies are eliminating single supplements, hotels are creating communal tables. Communal tables. I don't know if anybody has gone to Epcot lately, but if you go to Germany in Epcot, what are they doing? When you go to the German restaurant there, it's a communal table. It's Oktoberfest, year round. It's fun. You sit down with people next to you, you wind up having conversations, talking about the music that's playing. It's a lot of fun, these communal tables. And retreats are designed for individual travelers. So solo doesn't mean isolated anymore. It means optional connections. An optional connection is freedom. I love that. Now, if you're waiting for someone to join you because you're afraid of being lonely, I mean, you're passing up all of these great opportunities because you don't want to go by yourself. I mean, how many times have you wanted to go somewhere in the person in your life or lives, you know, they don't want to go or they don't have time to go, but you do? Ask yourself this. Are you avoiding loneliness? Or are you avoiding yourself? You're your best friend, you know. The world is full of connection. I know. When I travel, I talk to a lot of people when I'm traveling. And it's so much fun when I go overseas and I'm talking with people, and they get excited about sharing things with you. You know, if you ask them a question and it's about their community or it's about their town, they get excited and they'll talk to you. Because the world is full of connection. But the most important one is the relationship you have with you. And solo travel strengthens that relationship. That's right. You wind up with all of these things that you prefer to have. So don't be afraid to travel solo. You've been listening to Z. Michelson's series on travel solo. It's presented by Collage Travel Media Network. I'm Z. Michaelson. If this episode spoke to you, share it with a woman in your life who needs permission to go. And remember, if you're not alone when you travel solo, you are expanding. So until next time, travel travel. Travel small. Travel solo. And remember what I always say. Reach for those stars. And if you only get to the moon, that leads to me the trip. Thanks for listening today. And feel free to subscribe to my podcast. The Mike Traveler. Have a great day. Safe solo traveling.