Ep. 94 - Leaving Academia #7: What You Only Learn AFTER You Leave

In this episode, Leslie explore the surprising perspectives people only gain after leaving academia. After three years outside higher ed, I’ve noticed unexpected shifts in my own habits, mindset, and relationships—so I asked thousands of former academics what changed for them once they left, too. Nearly 100 people responded, sharing candid reflections about work, health, identity, and what they thought they’d miss…but didn’t.

Today, I walk you through the top themes that emerged from their stories—insights that are hard to recognize when you’re still on the inside. We’ll talk about how expectations around work, community, and purpose evolve, and why so many former academics say the same surprising thing about their post-academic lives.

If you’re considering leaving, already on the other side, or simply curious what life beyond the academy actually feels like, this episode offers honest, thought-provoking food for thought—without spoiling all the details.

Transcript

 Hi there listeners! 

Today I’m going to talk about all the things you don’t know about academia until you’ve left.

But before I get to that, I want to introduce a new coaching offering to you that I’m really excited about.

So I usually take clients on for a long-term basis. We typically work together for six months or more. 

In fact, some of my awesome authors have been working with me for over two consecutive years now and won’t stop until their manuscript is in press!

I also have career coaching clients who’ve worked with me for just as long.

But every so often I get an inquiry from someone asking if I’m able to just give feedback on their book proposal.

I’ve always had to say no because of my long-term coaching packages. But not anymore!

Because I’ve created something called “Get It Published” strategy sessions.

These are individual 60-minute Zoom sessions that will help you strengthen your book proposal to finally get it off your desk and into the hands of publishers. 

I will assess your draft using the four developmental editing criteria of argument, evidence, structure, and style. 

During our session, we will discuss your proposal in depth. 

I will provide thorough oral and written feedback that lets you know what’s working and what’s not—as well as give you strategies to fix any problems.

By the end, your larger take-home points and implications will be crystal clear.

We can discuss your publishing strategy—including which presses are most suitable for your manuscript and how and when to approach acquisitions editors. 

There’s also time to address other writing-related obstacles like procrastination, feeling like an imposter, perfectionism, and lack of motivation.

So if you feel like you’ve been spinning your wheels on your proposal or you just don’t know if it works or not, a Get It Published session could be exactly what you need! 

I expect to have room for a maximum of one of these sessions per month. 

To learn more, please go to my website at https://yourwordsunleashed.com/strategy/

********

Okay, so today’s episode is all about the perspective people only gain about academia and higher education once they’ve actually left.

I’ve now been out now for more than three years. And yet, I find myself still actively processing my feelings about leaving all the time.

I generally don’t like calling academia a cult, like some folks do. To me, it just seems insulting of the intelligence and critical thinking skills of the many wonderful people in it. 

But I think it’s got a lot of parallels to other very structured organizations like certain religions or the military that have their own defined norms and hierarchies that are quite different from outside society.

Once you leave higher ed and those things don’t apply to you anymore, it’s disconcerting. 

And whether you like it or not, you are launched onto a quest to figure out who you really are as a person and what you stand for. 

I was an academic for my entire adult life, as I’m sure many of you were as well. 

It was like a long-term relationship that I tried so hard to make work but ultimately could not. We had irreconcilable differences, as it were.

The clash between our very, very different core values left me constantly feeling a mixture of dread, depletion, and defeat.

It just wasn’t worth it to me to keep living that way.

But, because of the length of time I spent on this path, it’s not clear sometimes whether my existing habits are actually my own or were instilled in me through the academy.

I was reflecting on this the other day when I realized that I no longer overwork. I actually don’t! 

When I first started my business, I tried to fit work into every spare moment of my life. I was a faculty member still so I was working two jobs.

I would coach at night or on weekends. I would get up at 5am to pack in a bit more before my son woke up.

Since he was a toddler at the time, I had to be prepared because you never knew when an illness would sweep through and cost me several work days. 

Now that he’s older, he doesn’t get sick nearly as much thank God! But his kindergarten hours are shorter than his preschool ones so once again I have less time to work.

And I’m still prioritizing diet and exercise, which cuts into work even more. What I realized was that all of this is truly okay with me.

It was actually kind of a shock to notice that I don’t feel like I always need to be working and producing and hustling anymore.

When I’m not working, I generally don’t feel guilty and don’t feel like I’m falling behind. And since I run my own business, this is completely due to a shift in my mindset. 

Because it is actually incredibly easy for solopreneurs to feel like they are not doing enough. I think it’s actually the default mode.

I’m no longer comparing myself to others very much. I can’t say it never happens, but it really helps that I’m no longer existing in a hyper-competitive environment that is ruled by scarcity.

There are a ton of folks out there who also do writing and career coaching and developmental editing for academics.

And yet, I feel like there’s enough for everyone because the need is so great and we are all so different.

So this got me curious about what other folks have learned about themselves or the ways their lives have changed since they left academia.

I’m going to tell you the top 8 things they said. You might be surprised.

You can find the full transcript at YourWordsUnleashed.com/94.

The 8 Things You Need to Leave Academia to Know 

I’ve mentioned the Professor is Out Facebook group a number of times on this podcast. 

It has 35,000 members that include both current and former academics. I was probably one of the first 100 members to join when it started in 2022. 

Although I’m a lot less active in the group now, I still find it to be a highly useful, supportive and non-judgmental space.

Like I just mentioned, after noticing the change in my own habits and mindset, I decided to post the following question to the group:
 
 "For those of you who have been out of academia for a year or more, what insights have you had about yourself, others, and academia/higher ed that you would never know unless you left?"
 
 There were almost 100 thoughtful and thought-provoking responses.

The researcher in me couldn’t pass up the opportunity to summarize the main themes alongside some corresponding quotes.

I posted that to LinkedIn, where it has circulated widely and people have added additional interesting perspectives.

So now, I’ll give you the top 8 themes and some of the best quotes from this post. 

FYI, these are not presented in any particular order. They are all important!
 
 #1: Freedom in academia is an illusion.
 
The first theme is that freedom in academia is an illusion.

Here’s what two people had to say:

Person 1: "I have been out almost 4 years now and found out that while a 9 to 5 job seemed too restrictive, I now love it. I go to work and then leave and my work for the day is done. No work after I leave. And vacations are actually vacations, no need to constantly check email or work on research."

Person 2: “I was scared I would be chained to a desk 9-5, but I actually have more flexibility now because I work remotely with a team that crosses timelines, so we all set our own schedules - I go to the gym in the middle of the day, I can volunteer at my kids' school, and I am home every night for dinner.”

I actually talked about this one in Ep. 51, Leaving Academia #3: What Keeps People Stuck. 

In that episode, I talked about the top 5 beliefs academics have about themselves and their work that makes it hard to leave.

And #1 on that list was that academic jobs are immensely flexible. Here’s what I said in that episode:

“The first belief is often lauded as the biggest benefit to being an academic, and it is that academic jobs are immensely flexible.

The idea is that you can work whenever you want and set your own hours in ways that are impossible in typical 9-5 jobs.

You can drop off and pick your kids up from school and take them to medical appointments.

You can teach from home or show students a movie when you’re traveling to a conference.

I know you’ve heard it, and it is invoked all the time as a primary reason to stay in the academy.
 
 However, I think there is a “flexibility fallacy” going on here that benefits higher ed institutions far more than workers.

 As I’ve talked about, framing research and teaching as a calling promotes a culture of overwork that is justified as providing service to others.  

When it’s about helping others, this eliminates the need for workers to place any mental, physical or time-based boundaries around their work.

People who do so may be thought of as less committed.
  
 Although people may have flexibility in their schedules, they also often end up working at night or on weekends to make up for it…
  
 In my opinion, academics carry so much mental and emotional tension about their work that it completely counteracts the benefits that a flexible schedule is supposed to bring.”

#2: Outside academia, people are generally much more appreciative, supportive, and collaborative.

The second theme is that outside academia, people are generally much more appreciative, supportive, and collaborative in the workplace.

Here’s what different people said about this:

Person 1: "The sink-or-swim approach academia as a whole takes to those who choose it as a career path feels like hazing in retrospect. It's so much different working for an organization where everyone's work is needed to accomplish shared goals."

Person 2: “People outside academia appreciate hard working people and don't sneer at them or try to tear them down.”

Person 3: “The biggest thing I learned is that academia, especially my field of social work, masquerades as promoting social justice and ethics, when in reality it is just as cutthroat, hierarchical, backstabbing, and toxic as corporate America, maybe even more so.”

Person 4: I knew academia was abusive and toxic, but I didn't realize how bad it really was until I left. Now, instead of harsh criticism and gaslighting, I receive helpful feedback and support (which is difficult for me to ask for, but I am working on it), and recognition for what I consider small efforts.
 
#3: People feared they were going to miss academia, but they don't.
 
Theme #3 is really important for folks who are on the fence about leaving, which is that people were afraid they were going to miss academia but they don’t.

As one person wrote, "I had all this anticipatory grief. Everyone seems so worried they'll regret leaving academia, but then when you do you realize it was just a job and the institution as a whole doesn't care."

And another said, “What I know now, that I couldn’t have known then is that I simply don’t miss academia at all. I expected to. I don’t.”
 
 #4: New insights about their relationships with other academics.
 
This leads into theme #4, which is that many people’s friendships with other academics seriously shifted after leaving.

One person wrote, "Most of the people who claimed to be my friends were really just coworkers." 

Another shared, “Only one or two persons out of several colleagues I knew and thought of as friends for 5-10-15-20 years stayed in touch with me and cared to continue our friendship.”

I myself have gone through my own grief about the loss of decades-long relationships that I had built with other academics.

When you don’t have that identity and title in common anymore, what may have been incredibly solid ties naturally weaken.

You no longer see people at annual conferences (or at least I don’t—I absolutely detest large conferences!)

When you’re not invested in the mission of higher education as an insider and you no longer have the same goals or struggles or lifestyle, your relationships will fundamentally shift.

And in my case, there’s been no animosity. It’s just as if I was living on one island and I moved to another one where people speak a different language.

The proximity to folks on the first island changes and you stop being able to communicate in the same ways.

The foundation of your relationships can crumble, and this can be really unexpected.

Now, this is certainly not a good enough reason to stay, but be forewarned that many people do undergo a major loss of community when they leave.
 
#5: Other types of organizations don't expect uncompensated labor.
 
So #5 is that outside of academia, organizations don’t expect you to do uncompensated labor.

From unpaid journal reviews to unpaid tenure reviews to unpaid mentorship of students to unpaid service obligations, the list goes on and on and on!

It reminds me of when I was a girl scout and we had to sell cookies every year but none of that money came back to the troop! 

Where did it go? To the organization, of course, which had absolutely no transparency about its finances. Sounds familiar!

And let me tell you, once you’re out, this is completely not okay.

As one person wrote, "Academia is exploitative AF!!! It’s wild how much unpaid labor you’re expected to take on."

Other folks noted that when they travel, their companies pay for their entire trip and not just a portion of it.
 
#6: The work outside of academia is often more interesting.
 
Theme #6 is that people have been pleasantly surprised to learn that the work they do outside the academy is actually more interesting.

As one person wrote, "I also thought I would go insane with the type of work you do in a 9-5 but it was actually a lot more stimulating and less repetitive than teaching the same classes over and over."

I’ve also found this to be true. One of the most liberating things about my work is that I’m no longer confined to sociology.

I work with folks from an incredibly wide range of disciplines at totally different stages of their careers. This really satisfies my inner curious child that wants to learn about everything. 

My work allows me to connect with people, places, and topics that I would never come into contact with or have time to think about if I was still a faculty member.

And, importantly, I get paid to do it.

#7: They should have left years ago.
 
So theme #7 is kind of a culmination of these different reflections I’ve just given, which is that many people realize they should have left years ago.

As one person wrote, "I think the feeling I have the most is 'Nothing that I was scared about came true.' I was scared I would miss academia, but I don't. I was scared I would find the work boring or tedious, but it is exciting and challenging and I think I know more about my field now than I did as a prof. I was scared I would be chained to a desk 9-5, but I actually have more flexibility now... All this for twice the salary? My only regret is not doing this years ago."
 
 #8: Their health has improved by leaps and bounds.

And now we get to the eighth, and final, theme. A lot of people mentioned how much their health has improved from not being besieged by constant stress.

Person 1: “At one month out from leaving, my doctor told me that my blood pressure, blood sugar, A1C and cholesterol had all gone back to target ranges. 5 months previous I was in the ER with dangerous BP and they were running stroke protocol.”

Person 2: "I no longer require prescription sleep medicine every single night, year after year. Or anti-anxiety medication."

And another, “I didn’t know how badly my health had deteriorated under the constant stress of academia. 2 years out of academia turns out my health issues were not normal aging but directly associated with stress. I lost 40 lbs, have time and peace of mind to be present for my kids, have time and money for self care, and enjoy cooking again.”
 
 I’ve shared before about how many academics I knew suffered from long-term stress-based illnesses.

There can be both very serious mental and physical consequences for being immersed in a pressure cooker environment. 

If you’re going to make this path sustainable, you need to figure out how to put your own needs first again and again and again.

Just a reminder that I can help you do this with my Career Reset Program, which you can find at YourWordsUnleashed.com/Career-Reset.

Summing Everything Up

So let’s sum everything up! 

I’ve given you the top 8 themes that emerged from a small-scale survey I did of folks who’ve transitioned out of the academy.

There’s no need to repeat them. I think you get the gist. 

And obviously, this is a self-selected sample. But it's notable that NO ONE expressed regret for having left.
 
 It’s also interesting to me that earning more money did not come up as a major theme in its own right. 

When people mentioned it, it was more like an additional perk.

For example, one person wrote, “I have so much more of my life back! I miss the students and my colleagues, but I have evenings and weekends to myself, the flexibility to travel any time of year, and I've almost doubled my income.”

I mean, this probably speaks to academics’ complicated feelings about money that I won’t go into here.

But it counters the commonly heard notion that equates leaving academia with “selling out.”

All of this is to provide some food for thought for any of you who might be wondering whether this path and the related sacrifices are worth it to you.

If you need help with this, reach out to me. I’m always here!

Take care until next time.