Welcome to this episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her, I am your host Judith Kambia Obatusa – JKO.
I turned 53 this past Monday, on April 29. Yup! 53 candles on the cake! (chuckles) Although, these days, cake is more about portion control than indulgence.
There’s a certain liberation that comes with turning 53. Not only does it further establish my membership of the over 50 and fabulous club, I am free to be me. N o more second-guessing myself, no more desperately trying to fit into some mold society created. I am comfortable in my own skin. And that's pretty darn fantastic.
53 also means that my body is transitioning from the fertility that made me a mother to 5 children to the big M that some people find scary – Menopause. So 53 brings me closer to when Aunt Flo will pack her bags and take a permanent vacation.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not really going to miss the loss of my monthly visitor, the mood swings, the constant desire to put something in my mouth, and the constant fear of accidentally bleeding through my favorite pair of jeans. But there's a sadness, and something about it that feels... symbolic too. It feels like the closing of a chapter, the end of an era. And that part makes me a little nostalgic.
I remember back when I was younger, the period anxieties, those days of white pants terror OR the times that Aunt Flo came calling when I was out and about and totally unprepared. I remember those conversations with friends in my boarding school when we wished that we did not need to experience periods.
This got me thinking about Life’s moments. Those milestones that come and go without much fanfare and those moments that we do not want to happen. Those moments that when they're gone is when we realize how much they meant to us.
Like my periods. Sure, they were a pain in my uterus, quite literally, but they were also a reminder that I was alive, that my body was doing its thing, whether I liked it or not. We spend so much time dreading and complaining about our periods, but wouldn't it be amazing if we could tell our younger selves that it's all worth it? That she should Enjoy it while it lasts. That she should enjoy every cramp, every mood swing, every inconvenience, because someday, she'll look back and wish that she appreciated it more.
Life has a funny way of slipping through our fingers when we're not paying attention, and it's only when it's gone that we realize just how precious those moments were.
So, how can we savour life’s moments even when they come with a side of hormonal shifts? How can we avoid getting caught up in the messy middle that we forget to breathe and appreciate the ride? Here are some strategies to help us soak in the moments before they fizzle away into our past.
#1 is Gratitude. Yes gratitude – taking a moment or two to acknowledge the good around or in us. For example, being able to get regular periods like I did is a blessing. Some women spend lots of money to get their periods to come regularly. So thank God that you get to have those monthly visits.
#2 Be Present. Put down your phone, silence those notifications. When you're with loved ones, be truly with them. My daughter and my sister went to be with the Lord last year and no matter how much I would like to, I will not have the privilege of spending time with them on this side of eternity again. When you’re with your friends and family, Listen actively, savor the conversation, and soak in the experience. Life is happening right now, not on some social media feed.
#3 Find joy in everyday life. The delicious smell of food, the laughter of your children, the quiet satisfaction of completing a task, the peace in your home. These little moments add up to a beautiful life. Embrace them with joy and gratitude.
#4 Take Care of Yourself. This one is especially important for us women because of the hormonal changes we navigate at different stages of our lives. Make sure that you're getting enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and exercise regularly. A healthy body leads to a happier, more present mind.
#5 Be bold, do not be afraid to try new things. You should make this a priority if you are 50 and above like me. Just because you're a queen with a crown, doesn't mean the adventure stops! Take a dance class, learn a new language, explore that hidden hiking trail or join a painting class like me. Step outside your comfort zone and embrace the possibilities.
Speaking about savouring life’s moments, we have 11 days to the Healing the Heart Retreat in Tobago. For those who could not make the trip, we have set up an exclusive link that you can access to attend the sessions virtually. Check out the link in the show notes to learn more.
So, to every young queen who still receives Aunt Flo’s monthly visits, do it with open arms and a smile on your face. They're just a part of your journey. And trust me, the destination, with all its wisdom, confidence, and yes, even a little bit of hot flash relief - is pretty darn amazing.
For those who are transitioning into menopause like me, count it all joy that you have the privilege of entering into the next stage of womanhood. And for those who are in the middle of the big M with hot flashes and all, be encouraged because there's a whole new level of freedom waiting on the other side.
So, here's to embracing the messiness of life, to cherishing every moment, even the ones we'd rather forget. Because in the end, it's those moments that make life worth living. So, let's raise a glass to Aunt Flo and all the chaos she brought into our lives. May she rest in peace... or whatever it is that periods do when they retire.
Remember, you are worthy, you are powerful, and you are enough. Now go out there and embrace the messy magic of life! When you do this, messy won’t stop you. Thank you so much for listening. See you next time!