The Relation Station Vol. 4 | Recent Journeys, Adventures and Integration

The Relation Station Vol. 4 | Recent Journeys, Adventures and Integration 

My Love Beth Ann and I are joining forces to collaborate on a show to connect, converse, express our experiences, perspectives and opinions around subject matter our hearts feel called to exploring. 

Our core intention is to relay and be transparent with the microscopic truth of our experience. Through this, we hope to facilitate more clarity from the perspective of the listener and their own personal journey. We all have gold nuggets to derive from each other's sharing, we are all within the human experience. The crossovers and similarities are endless. we are all making sense of what is happening within our personal encounter with life. Through active and honest exploration of self and the experiences we have, through relating our own experience with the experience of others, we are able to find more wholeness, flow, and coherence. Podcasts have enabled us to create more lucidity and ease in our own lives, we are here to pass that along.  Thank you so much for tuning in to The Relation Station,  we look forward to growing and learning with you! 

Connect with us:

Beth's Plugs:
http://instagram.com/_earthborne_
http://instagram.com/ebbnflow_integrations

William's plugs:
http://instagram.com/thewilliamarthurshow
http://instagram.com/itsbillrobertson
http://instagram.com/williamarthurjewelry

Transcript

bill 0:00

Do Ray, Me, Wait, do ray, me, Fa. So D,

beth 0:19

do,

bill 0:21

do.

beth 0:23

butt do it.

bill 0:25

So.

beth 0:26

but

bill 0:28

Me.

beth 0:30

Ray.

bill 0:31

Ray, duh. All right, I felt good. I felt good. I don't know about you guys, but if you're still with us, I imagine you feel somewhat and that's awesome.

beth 0:54

that case, you're welcome.

bill 0:55

You're welcome. Actually, yeah. Just to be clear on the gift that is us doesn't it feel weird to be overly confident?

beth 1:05

Yeah, yeah It does. fuck to be like, I, I have value and I am sharing that

bill 1:13

just to claim it like, you know, you jokingly will, you know when I say you're beautiful or that you have this incredible, open, compassionate, understanding, loving heart. You just go, I'll, No, I know I love that. I know you're joking, but like, do you actually feel that when you say it, you're like, Of course. That's me.

beth 1:33

There are two realities that exist simultaneously in. and I have a choice of which one to align with. Is it the side of me that doesn't see my value or feels afraid? Or is it the side of me that is honoring my compassion and my lovingness and who I really am at my core? Because there's the shadow to that as well. But yes, I do. Yeah. Believe that when you say it. Yeah. I do know it to be true. At least my higher self knows it to be true and it resonates in my body in a way that proves that truth. Trueness

bill 2:11

words of wisdom from the lion us herself. We are here with Beth Ann, my queen, and myself, Bill Beth

beth 2:22

the King of Kings

bill 2:23

aka William Arthur, uh, which is my creative alias and my actual name. My name is William Arthur Roberts in the second, and that's I, that is me, the relations station.

beth 2:39

Volume four.

bill 2:40

Four. So this is our fifth episode we've done together. Technically, if we include

beth 2:44

Oh, my OG

bill 2:46

riding the wave of life with Beth Ann,

beth 2:49

a lot has changed since then.

bill 2:51

a shit, tone has changed. Are there any key moments or wins or objectives that have been accomplished that are at the forefront of your mind within that whole span of time?

beth 3:04

I feel like that first podcast we did together was the catalyst for, um, unlocking my expression in a whole new way. And it's just been a continuation of that, exploring new ways to express and to integrate and to share my, my thoughts and my passion, and to unlock that in this container with you in a way where we are integrating our shared experience as well. Um, and that's been expansive in a multitude of ways. Um, other than that, also transitioning from BFFs to partnership, that is a change that sticks out to me.

bill 3:44

It's officially y'all. It's on the record. We don't give a fuck.

beth 3:48

We don't give off.

bill 3:49

we don't give a fuck. You gotta show up on, on the pod, not giving a shit.

beth 3:53

Yeah.

bill 3:54

And just, just going all in. Right. That's hard though.

beth 3:59

Why I'm just kidding. I mean, yes. Why? Tell me why.

bill 4:03

I mean, shit, who really fucking knows. I'm sure there's like endless details and, and layers of what that can be. Um,

beth 4:12

the primary source of resistance for

bill 4:14

you? I feel like it's just owning my truth and my expression and trusting myself. And there's just, there's nuance to that. You know, Every day's different in terms of how we feel and what we're experiencing mentally and and physically. So that's one of the challenges that arises with showing up to the podcast in full power and to like, you're, good at it. You're really good at it.

beth 4:38

so are you. Why

bill 4:39

were gonna say that

beth 4:40

me

bill 4:40

cause I knew exactly what you were gonna say right after that. Um, but I love seeing, you know, all your different shares on the gram. Uh, check her out on Earthborn on Instagram, but don't,

beth 4:52

you're severely missing out on some

bill 4:54

seriously though she's honing your craft. The sword is being sharpened on a daily basis. Uh, your reflections are so valuable and you're, you're so good at piecing words together. Um, you're wordsmith, so you're an integration wizard and master, and you're, you're good at, you know, bringing the pieces of the puzzle together.

beth 5:12

We love patterns in this house and we love to,

bill 5:15

we love patterns.

beth 5:17

and then zoom out and see where they fit into the grand scheme.

bill 5:20

scheme. Yeah.

beth 5:21

are serving you and which ones aren't. Yeah. And Yeah. Thank you for the reflection.

bill 5:26

reflection. Yeah. So, you know, the first couple relations station podcasts we did. Which essentially the concept is us just sharing our direct experiences, speaking upon, you know, specific subject matter. That, that was the intention was like, we were super structured about it. We're like, okay, we need to like,

beth 5:44

planned for like two days

bill 5:45

need to have mul, we need to plan this like a week in advance, or think about this now, take notes, have, you know, specific like pivot points and ideas we wanna speak upon. That's great.

beth 5:54

I mean, that was a great way to build the foundation of the container we've created with, with the relations station. Yeah. We needed that.

bill 6:00

Yeah. But what I'm coming to realize and, and the podcasts that I enjoy listening to the most, they're just, they're just flowing. They're just, they're just speaking from the heart and, and, you know, whatever they're experiencing internally, they are expressing it. And, you know, following these different threads that. Unfold as you're spontaneously creating in a conversation. And that's what I feel like this is gonna be moving forward. I imagine we'll do some more structured, um, intentional shows as well. But the one we did before, which was my, my, uh, my reemergence back into podcasting after two months of a little hiatus, um, after I had gone to a men's retreat with the boys in Vermont, a bunch of amazing dudes did one podcast with Mr. Ryan Sprague, the Cannabis Wizard, and a revolutionary in the world of plant medicines and utilizing them as, you know, a spiritual aid and ally. I was done after that. I was like,

beth 7:04

one's one of my favorite conversations yours. Yeah. I love that episode.

bill 7:07

That one was pretty structured. That one was pretty structured. It, it was good. I was a little burnt out. I just ate so many sweets. When I was on the trip, it was like, cuz I did that three day fast lead going into it to do a cleanse and then, you know, I was good. I was slowly introducing foods back in. Of course, as I broke the fast and then traveling, I was, you know, careful with how much I was consuming to. Not shock my, my digestive system. And then like, we did a cannabis ceremony one night and yeah, we, and then the dudes that were hosting and facilitating the retreat after we had done the cannabis ceremony, I walk into the kitchen and there's just like, there's a whole, you know, immaculate display of cookies and these like cinnamon chiro chips and coconut whipped cream and chocolate fresh baked cookies. I already said that, but um,

beth 8:04

an impact.

bill 8:05

Why did I start talking about

beth 8:06

this

bill 8:08

Oh wait. Cuz we were talking about me taking hi hiatus from podcasting and um, I was a little burnt out after it. And even doing the podcast with Ryan, which was my last episode before the little hiatus I took, um, I still showed up. I still did it. Man's a fucking g. He's, he's a great, he's great at speaking and he has a, you know, deep understanding of his gifts. So he's a beast. Check out his work. Uh, highly optimized and the real Ryan Sprague on Instagram. I've shouted him out like so many. He's a big, he hosted me on for my first podcast as a guest on his show, The Highly Optimized Show, which was like terrifying for me. And I had been wanting to do a podcast, so it was a great, like, you know, stepping into the world of speaking on the mics just cuz podcasting has shaped me.

beth 8:57

you started your own?

bill 8:58

Yeah. So this was like last year May or something. So. But yeah, we're podcasting right now. It feels good. Um, hell yeah. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you. you. Thanks for joining

beth 9:15

we have some return listeners and

bill 9:17

Yeah, we got some

beth 9:17

every single One of you

bill 9:18

you. We got some homies. She's good at wrangling the troops and getting people informed about the new content. So, uh, thanks for always, you know, showing up in that way and, and spreading the good word,

beth 9:34

You're welcome. You're

bill 9:35

at, you're good at building community. Yeah. Where does that, where, what's that from? Like, where do you think, where did that start? When did you notice you had a knack for that?

beth 9:44

So it, That's a good question. Um, the value I find in community comes from not having it. Like I've mentioned this many times before, that, um, you know, I find passion and love for things that I didn't experience at one point. Like, it comes from experiencing the opposite. And, um, I moved to Milwaukee. I. In 2019, so a little over three years ago, and when I came here, it was like a fresh start. I had two or three solid friends. I had a partner at the time, and that was it. Coming from a time in my life, like where I was an avid drug user, I was abusing opiates and stimulants and benzodiazepines and being really reckless. And obviously those activities had me around others who were doing the same things, where we weren't connecting in a way that mattered. We weren't moving forward, we weren't growing. We were all remaining complacent.

bill 10:48

Self-destructing exactly the opposite of

beth 10:50

enabling each other

bill 10:52

or the opposite of growth. Complacence like the middle ground.

beth 10:55

it's interesting to look back and like recognize the stories that we would share and, and seeing like how much pain there was in each one of our pasts and how we were just project tiling that onto each other in the moment. But, um, when I moved to Milwaukee and got my first place, um, and experience living with roommates the first time, um, I started to see the value in like communal living, just a little taste of it. Um, although that situation didn't work out and I actually have moved six times now since moving to Milwaukee, in and out of different places with different roommates and like finding what does and doesn't work for me in regards to my connections with others. Um, and when I found the passion for, um, holistic healing and my path with, uh, bringing people together. In a way where we're, we're doing wholesome things, like cooking meals together and um, sharing space, and I started having conversations that were of substance. Um, my friend Hannah sticks out as somebody who has been with me on this journey the whole time.

bill 12:01

Shouts out Queen, shouts out Queen,

beth 12:04

We fucking love you Um, she and I, I feel like she's one of the first females where I really like, connected with on a deep level where we were like sharing our stories, integrating them together, and doing art to transmute our experience. And it just feels so good. So it's been, you know, a combination of, of things and experiences that I got to have from moving here. Um, my friend Skylar as well, who now lives in Boulder, was an incredible catalyst for community. Um, he. When he was in Milwaukee, he was bringing people together consciously all the time. We used to have, uh, onesie parties in Milwaukee where there'd be like 30 to 50 of us in a room and we'd stay overnight and enjoy plant medicines and like get down with each other. Yeah. And

bill 12:49

What?

beth 12:50

yeah, it was fucking amazing. That's legal Um,

bill 12:54

Someone who isn't her guys. Wink,

beth 12:56

wink. Yeah. Someone I, What is it? Swim

bill 13:00

Someone? who isn't me. Yeah.

beth 13:02

It was

bill 13:02

If you were, uh, on air, if you were on Arrowwood back in the day when that had to be utilized to remain discreet

beth 13:10

No, we were using plant medicines And you and you should too. Um Oh sorry You're right Sorry Just

bill 13:17

yourself and make your own

beth 13:19

Yes. That,

bill 13:20

yeah. We promote freedom of choice and bodily autonomy.

beth 13:24

are mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually matters when ingesting plant medicines. Intention is everything. And it shouldn't just be done haphazardly. Ever.

bill 13:33

True

beth 13:35

Community. Yeah, community. Um, and we would all get to, Oh, Skyler, uh, onesie parties and, um, Well, Skyler moved away.

bill 13:45

Wait, hold up. Let's cut the gum. Chew one You mean just pack it in the lip? If you wanna keep it in, but it's definitely, Yeah, I don't, I just don't want it to scare

beth 13:53

you think they can hear Oh sorry Sorry guys. I know that

bill 13:56

It's subtle

beth 13:56

it's an unpleasant noise. Yeah. It's like, I get irritated Yeah I'm just gonna take it out You're so right Thank you for following everybody. Now. I hope that nobody left because of my gum

bill 14:07

no, they're still here. This is, this is gold.

beth 14:09

anyway, back to the, back to the, what I was saying, Um,

bill 14:13

Sorry for interrupting.

beth 14:14

It's all good. You're forgiven. Um, when Skyler moved away to Boulder, I noticed that a result of that was kind of like, um, the community that was being gathered started to fall apart a little bit. Like everybody's still getting together in their own groups, but it was no longer like that amount of us getting together. And, and, um, it had me wondering what I could do to cultivate more of that. Um, last summer I was, uh, hosting a meetup for members of the community to come together and talk about addiction and grief. And that lasted for most of the summer and kind of fell apart. And then, I developed a passion for, uh, reiki and in becoming attuned to Reiki and then recognizing that I have a gift for holding space and wanted, wanted to coach as well. Um, I know that that comes from the same passion, the same, uh, desire to bring people together and bring people to themselves and bring people to a place of unconditional love and support. And, um, yeah. So that's, that's that in a nutshell,

bill 15:22

that which you practice, you become,

beth 15:24

Yeah. Yep.

bill 15:26

put in the work and you followed what intuitively, instinctively felt good and, you know, filled you up with love and happiness and joy and connection and Yeah. You're, you're, you're a boss babe, in the realm of, uh, wrangling community.

beth 15:44

Real recognized real.

bill 15:46

Yeah. And we're doing that. We're doing that.

beth 15:48

I mean, when we first got together at the Daily Bird, that was such a, a pinnacle of our conversation was our desire together to cultivate conscious community in Milwaukee. Yeah. Like, I know that that was one of the initial points of what we wanted to create together. Yeah. And now we're doing it.

bill 16:06

feel like we, we, I'm interested in doing more, of course within the realm of that, whatever that looks like. And it's in, it's in process. It's in process. We have the Slingshot Wellness Workshops, which we will officially be teaming up on. Both Beth, myself and Roberto, Rob, hi Andorf, who is my brother from another mother, soul brother, soul fam. And, you know, and, and even outside of that, I feel I would like to put more effort into bringing people together to, in ways that, in ways that feel good to all of us, in ways that are fun and playful and engaging. And that allow us to explore who we actually are. Because right now there's a massive shortage of, there's an, I mean, it seems to me that we have fallen off the path of building communities that actually promote. and allow people to say yes to who they really are. And communities that are all kind of like reflecting permission, slips back to each other. Like, I've been through this, I've had this experience. Um, I'm also a weird motherfucker and, you know, doing whatever it is that may fall under the realm of that. But, um, yeah, it's cool to watch it grow and to just like, recognize it right here, right now, that we, we have been doing that. And if you listen to the podcast and we don't know you personally and you're interested in, you know, some of the things we discuss, we would love to get together and get to know you. So just gonna put that out there and Yeah. You know, the more, the merrier. So. Mm-hmm. let's keep it going. Let's keep it going.

beth 17:54

my friend

bill 17:55

Let's keep it growing and let's keep it a hoeing. Ahoe. Ahoe. My family. Ahoe.

beth 18:01

Don't forget, we are interdependent. hardwired

bill 18:06

hardwired to thrive in interdependence. Yep. And

beth 18:09

to collaborate and to work together.

bill 18:11

Yep. Yep. Um, so yeah, Beth and I, we just were in Virginia. We took another journey together. We pursued another journey together to visit some very, Now, I mean, you know, we're establishing the connections and the friendships and stuff like that, but essentially we stepped into a completely new community, uh, the enlisted community. To be specific. You guys are amazing. I'm unsure if any of them will listen to this, but if you are, we love you. And we were very grateful to have had the opportunity to spend a few days at the, uh, Mark England Family Lake house, Got some podcasting in. Uh, I'm really proud of you for stepping up the way you did to share your gifts with everyone and to go out of your way to offer, um, your services to them. And so you could practice and. It was to, to step into, like, to go to a house across the country to drive 12 hours to do so, to meet people you've never met. People you know that you've seen on social media doing really epic shit, doing really ra shit. Uh, I just wanna recognize your courage there. And do you receive Ha You receive,

beth 19:26

I receive. It was super impactful, super empowering to connect with people who are doing the fucking thing. Yeah. Who are doing something that I see myself doing in my own way. Well, now and in the future. And um

bill 19:42

Beth's working with the words now. Yeah. She's diving

beth 19:45

diving into vocabulary. Thank you

bill 19:46

of language. Yeah. Thanks, Mark England, I, I did the core language upgrade a year ago with a group and basically, um, it's all about actively pursuing a way of life that. Promotes, you know, full embodiment of self responsibility through the language that you use. And there's a good breakdown of, you know, the, the components of it. But, uh, there's architect language and conflict language, and this is like the basis of the enlisted work, the enlisted coaching certification. And we're speaking upon the core language upgrade right now. So we have projections, reflections, negations, affirmations, soft talk, solid talk. But basically the community that we visited down there, they're all language nerds and, and how that shapes our reality and, and how that. The way we interpret reality and interface with reality, how we communicate, how we form an understanding of the world around us, and how we intentionally build our self-identity. Um, one of the quotes that has always stuck with me with some of my first conversations with Mark England was that, um, language work is the sleeping giant of personal alchemy. And it truly is because, you know, we all use our words. It's, it's similar to the breath. Like, we have this tool and, and, and the language work is like a bottomless pit of exploration in terms of how you can utilize it to get the results you want in life. Um, so that quote, It just has always stuck with me. And as I continue to implement these different techniques and utilizing language in ways to empower myself versus like negate from the person I want to be, um, it's really cool how things start to clear up. You know, your core belief system fundamentally changes and therefore your identity changes and therefore your world changes. So, And it's just confidence. Yeah. Confidence. Confidence. And we could all use more of that for sure.

beth 21:58

I feel like we should share more about how the confidence gets built from recognizing the patterns of the ways that you talk to yourself. Yeah. Um

bill 22:07

thinking. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've all been there, we've all talked shit to ourselves. It's interesting how we can like beat ourselves up and how we can let ourselves do that and how there's a choice essentially, and um, Victim mentality. Yeah, the victim mentality. Yeah. So a

beth 22:24

cada,

bill 22:25

A cadabra. Yeah. Abra cadabra translates to, in ancient air make to with my word I create, or with my word I influence, and we're literally casting spells on ourselves. The Webster. Dictionary definition of a spell is a word or combination of words, of great influence. So it's very interesting how, like, you know Yeah. Word magic, language magic, how it applies to our lives. And, and back to the quote of, you know, language work is the sleeping giant of personal alchemy. How many people don't realize that this is at their fingertips? And this is such like a practical tool that can apply to their lives and their relationships and, and to achieve their goals at a more effective rate, a more rapid rate, and yeah, just simply put to, um, do do more rat shit and yet have more confidence, um, you know, to believe in yourself more and, and to understand that, um, you know, the language is like the basic constituents of making that happen. That's like, it's everything.

beth 23:27

It's Have there been any reframes of a story that you've been telling yourself that has happened recently that you've gained more awareness around?

bill 23:46

that you've, um, uh, yeah. So I mean, there was a coaching session I had down at the lake house with Mr. Nate Baumgartner shouts out my brother. He is, he's a work of art. He's really great at what he does and has, you know, a background of depth this type of work. But essentially there is a lot of ways in which I was viewing myself as I go through the process of like being in new environments and stretching my limits and putting myself around communities of bad asses where I could start comparing myself to where I wouldn't really love myself through the process. So, you know, one of the things that came up in our coaching session was, I need to remind myself to love myself through the process because, uh, it doesn't help me to think in opposition of that. And of course, I want to be like self-critical and recognize where I'm not showing up the way I want to and where I can improve upon myself and not bypass that. But it's very interesting, like, um, showing up for yourself in a loving way and like reframing that it becomes more nuanced as you, like, clear out the, like, you know, the very clear cut and dry things that you're saying to yourself there not in alignment with, with love. And, um, being there for yourself, it becomes a lot more nuanced. So like, you know, as you evolve and as you start to implement these different things, you start to recognize these like little details of where you're viewing yourself in a way that, um, Isn't helpful, you know, So, yeah. But the lake house was incredible. Um,

beth 25:37

everyone was so welcoming.

bill 25:38

Everyone was very welcoming, very loving. We did some podcasting or I did some podcasting there, which was really fun. I feel like I choked on a dick because I didn't, uh, you know, and, and you showed up. I showed up, I did it. I seized the opportunity. I interviewed some incredible people. One of the podcasts, uh, bit the dust, I'm pretty sure, which is fine. We can redo it. Um, but I got to interview Mr. Mark England, the, you know, mastermind behind the enlisted coaching certification program and who's been, uh, exploring and educate, exploring, diving into, elaborating on and educating others on the language work through his program. And I also got to interview Brooks Meadows, who is also a master storyteller. Um, I mean, you got to experience hi him. He Oh, he told you the king's king says Yes story.

beth 26:30

It was

bill 26:31

Yeah. So they're, they're both really great. Definitely check out their work. If you're listening and you're more curious about these things and the enlisted page at enlisted coaches, um,

beth 26:40

Can I share I noticed that, um, one of the things that was bringing me into a place of like not knowing where I fit was not knowing. Like what to offer. Cause everybody was sharing their gifts and I found that like, okay, when I was witnessing you doing all these podcasts, that's a great method to connect with people without like, there being too much pressure on like, what to say. Like, like I feel like that's your, your mode of, of connecting and you were able to connect deeper with all these people cuz you're having these intentional conversations. And I was able to connect more through facilitating reiki and sitting with people in that way, which is like a space I've cultivated outside of the container where I feel like safe and like I am expressed in, in myself already because we're, you know, sharing in this gift that I've brought forth. And I feel like that's like podcasting for you as well, Like a new way to explore connection.

bill 27:36

It really is a wonderful way to, you know, soak up someone else's work, their life's work, who they've become this, this, this road. They've paved in terms of, you know, their identity that they have cultivated, which is just, it's just wild to experience these types of people who they just have a deep understanding of themselves and what they want. They're incredibly clear on what their objectives are in life and what they're pursuing. And that's what the enlisted community and program has done. And like, it's this, it's it's own living and breathing. um, entity, you know, and to like, it's, it's still in its early stages and it's, it's growing like wildfire. Um, but yeah. But yeah, the lake house, you know, marks just the drive down. We had a great time together. That's incredible. On the road, the,

beth 28:34

to stop In Ohio.

bill 28:34

Yeah, we stayed in Ohio, did some camping hills, Hawking Hills State Park, checked out some waterfalls, some gorge, you know, incredible scenery and fall colors and all these different things and, you know, got to meet a bunch of new faces while I was there. Some people I was already familiar with. Um, but yeah, we made cookies, we had great meals together.

beth 28:55

It's so cool to be able to meet in person humans that you are inspired by and like, who are like models of sorts. Um, and to be able to be like, received equally in those spaces. And, um, it was so easy to sink into those connections because of, uh, like I, I perceive it to be like similar world views, similar views on like doing the work and showing up. And, um, I, I received so much, uh, so many new tools and

bill 29:29

lots of new tools. New new connections and, and

beth 29:32

slips to be myself.

bill 29:33

yeah, lots of energy circulating and, and moving, which I feel like this is happening right now. We are warriors and we are unstoppable. That was what was coming to me before and that's, that's something I'm looking to embody. So I'm just, I'm just planting that flag right here, right now and I'm gonna ride that wave, uh, and keep riding that wave and keep implementing and reconfiguring myself in a way to where I can like exude that, you know. Um, but I, One thing I would like for you to share if you're open to it, is that experience you had with Kyle with the cookies. Yeah. Cuz you told it to me like, you know, that

beth 30:09

was an integration moment. I'm going to try and bring right back up for my heart.

bill 30:12

Yeah. I loved, that was so beautiful when you shared that with me and I was just so inspired by, you know, that simple moment, but it meant so much. So I feel the listeners would get a lot of value from it.

beth 30:23

So at the lake house, while I. Wrapped up in a ball of unconditional love and support. There were also moments of deep insecurity and, um, and fear. Um, and, and that feelings of inadequacy and smallness that were coming up. And I would fluctuate between these states of like confidence and solidity and then back into this, um, this different mode. And I was able to distinguish at one moment when I was in connection with Kyle, who, um, we were making cookies, uh, for the fan. And I was feeling really insecure in that moment. I had spent five days, or five hours, five hours, like kind of in isolation because I was like, I was desiring to get right with myself before reconvening into the group. And finally I was like, Fuck this. I need connection and. It took a minute to push through this, this wall and this barrier that I was experiencing within myself, this resistance. And so I choked it out. I was like, Can I, can I do this with you, Can I help? And um, so I'm mixing the cookie dough and I'm still feeling this like pit in my stomach and everybody, It's good to recognize where you're experiencing discomfort in your body when you're experiencing it either way. Um, we were making cookies and I noticed myself, um, being permission seeking and like validation seeking, and I felt like a child almost. And I, I, I do believe that I was like, fr my resistance was causing me to perceive my reality through a lens that was useful to me. At another stage in my life, like I literally felt like child meme looking for permission. And there was a moment where I, he had asked me to stir the cookie dough and there were a few moments between that as I was, I was melting the butter first. And at a certain point I asked him, I was like, Is it okay if I do this? And it felt really disempowering cuz I, I knew he had asked me to, and I was still seeking out that extra permission or like validation that I was doing this super simple task. Right. And it was really frustrating me. It was the same, I was melting the butter and I kept winding ask if I was doing it right or like, and it was so strange. It was so like dis embodying. It was like, I didn't feel confident. And the more that I sunk into this state, the worse I felt. And finally I just was like, I said, I said to Kyle, I said, Can I acknowledge that I am feeling really insecure and I am seeking permission from you and I said, Desire to not seek permission to exist. And it was like this light bulb moment, like all of a sudden I felt like I could see him clear and he could see me because I wasn't hiding behind this lens of like, like perceiving somebody to be at a level above me and me feeling small in comparison and seeking permission from the human that I perceived to be at a different level. And he's like, Put that shit in the cookie dough because all of us could use that reminder. And after that it was just like I felt comfortable connecting again. I felt like I was embodied in myself and it was just as simple as acknowledging the discomfort in the moment and what I was experiencing even though that felt, that alone felt scary. Like to be that exposed in a pattern that I don't or didn't feel good about being within. But um, hey, we are all learning as we go And there are, um, stories that we've been telling ourselves. Since childhood. And the more that we let them emerge, we, the more we can transmute them into healthier connections and more vulnerable interactions, creating more closeness with the people around us. It's okay to be insecure. It's okay to be afraid, and it's okay to speak about it and to look for assistance out of that personal void.

bill 34:45

Epic. Boom, boom. you're line s you're a were, you were Splunk, you faced it head

beth 34:55

Yeah. I mean, I, I almost knew what to expect going into this environment. I was like, I'm gonna be uncomfortable and I'm gonna be around a bunch of coaches, So it's like if I'm, if I'm in my stories, I'm gonna get called out. And there were moments where I was like almost choosing not to talk or share because I knew that I would be held accountable for myself limiting beliefs and the bullshit stories I've made up.

bill 35:18

made up. Yeah.

beth 35:20

And, um, that was exciting to me because that, that's such an opportunity to grow through it and to, you know, as a result, gain more community.

bill 35:32

Yeah. And you could have easily recognized that pattern and just been like, Oh, I'm just gonna Working on the cookies here. Yeah. It's not worth

beth 35:43

easily I could have remained in discomfort And dissatisfaction. and then, you know, continued on the night like that,

bill 35:51

that.

beth 35:51

but instead we sunk into a painting sesh. Yeah. And I was able to take the leftovers of what I had been feeling and put it directly into art

bill 36:01

in

beth 36:01

in a group of people doing the same thing.

bill 36:03

That's a serious moment of reconfiguration and you know, identity shift. And you could have just simply by not addressing it and nipping it in the butt, you would've continued to energize that story and the core beliefs behind the story and the core beliefs which form your identity and continued along this path of like, Insecurity and, and feeling and like essentially people pleasing and, you know, asking for permission simply just to help out when you've already been granted permission. And I've watched this beautiful blossoming and recalibration of who you are from us being together and connecting and, you know, you over

beth 36:49

apologizing

bill 36:49

these different things. It's, it's like the, from the time we met up until now, it's, you know, it's night and day. So way to go. Hazah, haz

beth 37:01

uh, game recognized, game. Real recognized, real Yeah. Thank you for always, you know, saying the hard things

bill 37:10

I do my best

beth 37:11

and holding me accountable and showing up in your own way. Um, you've, you lead by example. I remember there was this one moment where you apologized for, um, you, I don't remember the exact instance, but it like blew my mind. You like apologized for, um, not showing up in the way you wanted to in conversation and connection. And it was like, I didn't even notice, you know, But you, you brought it up and you mentioned where you were feeling like you weren't in alignment and integrity with how you desire to show up. And then you expressed to me how you would like to show up. And I had never experienced that before, like, somebody doing that and like bringing up anything from past conversation especially, it's such a like thing that seemed minute, but like when you said that, I was like, holy shit. Like that's such a powerful way to build. Connection with somebody is to be like, Hey, I, I am making this effort to show up this way within this connection because I value you and I value this connection,

bill 38:22

I value myself and, and I, val, I exactly. I value connection and, and full on transparency is required for, you know, reaching new levels of what that can be, which is never ending, which is super exciting. And simply to address it, it allows me to release it and let it go and not hold on to it and continue to push it away. And where this, this, these energies continue to compound. All of a sudden I'm completely dysregulated in my life, emotionally and mentally. And then I'm soothing and I'm turning away and I'm running away from these uncomfortable feelings, which are like coming from all these different angles, including not addressing something like that. And it can just be like this really dark cycle. So yeah, just being, you know, You what you practice, you become simply put whether you're practicing, you know, uh, intentionally shifting your identity and leaning into the fear, embracing the fear, and sharing the thing that's like incredibly vulnerable and honest. Or you're energizing an identity of being the person that is going to, just share the shit, share the shit that's on your mind, share the shit that's on your heart, and then you can be free and you don't have to be a fucking slave to your own shit

beth 39:43

Not no longer asking why do I always do this? Instead of being like, What is this trying to show me Yeah. How do I move differently?

bill 39:53

Right. Yeah. It's a, it's a dance and it's scary for sure, but in a reframe. I got, well, at the lake house after I, when I was interviewing Nate was, I was just curious because he had all these moments in his life that had led up. Basically, we were diving into how he became a coach and he like went on a riff for an hour talking about all these psychedelic journeys he had, and like within the psychedelic journeys there was points at which he could turn away from the experience and these, these entities and these energies and things. He was interacting within the psychedelic journey, but he chose to face a head on. And there was like many more instances throughout his process where he had just continued to face it and he believed in himself to make it happen, you know, relentlessly, um, leaning into these things. And I was like, like what, what has allowed you to do this? Like, what, you know, what specifically within you has allowed you to maneuver this and navigate these situations? Because we're all looking to do that. That's what makes us feel alive. And basically he is like, I'm an adventurer. And, and I love that. And it's so simple because we all, you know, want to be on the journey. We want to, you know, experience love and relationships of depth and, and go on badass trips and things along these lines. and we have to face certain parts of ourselves and release them and, essentially, you know, face them head on to, make

beth 41:24

room for more,

bill 41:26

To make room for more. I, I, I lost my train of thought there a little bit. I was like, Ah. But, uh, but, but like, re like, you see the fear, you see the opportunity. You can either push it away, hide from it, uh, run from it, soothe whatever it looks like. Or, or, or you can choose the archetype of being the adventurer and the person that's like, This is gonna open things up for me. This is gonna

beth 41:50

this is exciting.

bill 41:51

It's gonna change the fucking games. It is exciting. It's very exciting.

beth 41:55

is an

bill 41:56

Yeah. And, and it's, it's a choice. There's, there's remain complacent and stuck in who I am or just. Just be with it and share it to the best of your ability. Use your fucking mouth and your brain. This, this, these gifts you have. The, the most complex machine in the universe, biological machine in the universe are incredibly infinitely powerful. Brains, bodies, and minds. Psych. That's dope shit to, uh, you know, navigate this process and, and to recognize the choice points so we can be on the path of creating the life we want. The life that is a gift. Life is a gift. And, and to, you know, fully cherish that gift. you gotta face it. You gotta face your shit. You gotta face yourself and the like, infinite amount.

beth 42:48

of

bill 42:49

Internal battles that happen, or internal adventures, you know, the language. They're the languages. Again, it's like what resonates more and what allows you to become the person and, and cultivate the life you're looking for. So

beth 43:03

You can remain complacent. You can have a completely mediocre life of little expansion. Yeah. Or you can go into it,

bill 43:11

go into that shit, go into the cave, see what's in there

beth 43:15

on the other side is

bill 43:16

yeah. And love yourself through it too, because there's no need to be a militant, you know, rigid.

beth 43:22

No It's a game

bill 43:23

abusive figure to yourself. You, you gotta be patient with yourself and loving through the process because it's, it's, it only will allow you to grow more effectively. So, you know, that's really exciting stuff. All these different like reframes and, you know, diving deeper into the language. And how that can allow us more freedom and how that can allow us and everyone to get the fuck out the matrix because shit is intense right

beth 43:51

and it's gonna keep getting intense.

bill 43:53

Shit's fucking intense right It's wild out there. There's, there's. The, the amount of darkness like circulating in our world and in our people right now and the, the like, these crazy, like these cycles of just completely laying down and, and becoming so comfortable in, in these addictive tendencies. Whether it's like you watch Netflix every night and, and you got one foot in one door and one foot in the other. You're watching Netflix, you're looking at your fucking phone, you're smoking a joint, you're jerking off whatever it may be like for you to like, remain stuck in the version of who you are and avoid the journey of, you know, facing the fear and, and, and actually going on a journey and going on an adventure and becoming your own hero and creating a story that is like essentially like a movie, because that's all possible for all of us. Um, and, and ending up on your deathbed and like looking back at your life and realizing how much time you sacrificed to just be comfortable. That is we, we have to recognize that. We have to recognize that, and we gotta own our shit today. And, and, and it's a process. It's not like you can fucking, you know, do a thousand things and become a different person tomorrow. But we can all take steps in a direction, recognize where we're not showing up for ourselves in our ideal life and, and just continue on the path, uh, with these principles, you know, So it's like, face your shit and recognize where you're just fucking off and, and essentially laying down and, and, um, really be honest with yourself. I feel like that's incredibly crucial just for, you know, making the shit happen. Doing the thing. Yeah. Yeah.

beth 45:42

the boys of Wisdom.

bill 45:44

shape your life? Because you can do it.

beth 45:47

I think some of us are afraid to experience our liveness and true pleasure. What, like when you mention, um, how easy it is to, you know, jump on your phone or to binge shows on Netflix every night Yeah Or to be in your addictions with substances and food and porn. Um, it's so easy to do that as instant gratification and we're, we're self-gratifying creatures. But like, what, what really lights you up?

bill 46:18

up? Yeah.

beth 46:19

Yeah. And how can you take the steps every day to explore that?

bill 46:24

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I mean, It's very complex, but at the same time, it's very simple. We have the fucking answers. We know when we're bullshitting ourselves, uh, we just continue to turn away and then we just accept it

beth 46:41

I do it. all

bill 46:43

yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm no stranger to this guys. I fucking, I get on the phone, I scroll, I'll watch too much Netflix, I'll overeat, I'll jerk off to porn, you know, But I have the awareness and, and the power to change and the power to make a choice and, and to implement change slowly so I can, you know, move in the direction that I want and cultivate the freedom I want and the level of love, health, and vitality. So,

beth 47:09

and when you have a vision of what you want to create and what you want your life to look like, once you start recognizing your distractions and your patterns and your desire to stimulate and distract those distractions, most of the time, don't fit into. The equation of creating the life you desire. And once you have that vision, I was reflecting on this yesterday because I was using every form of distraction possible because of, um, uh, I woke up with 45 minutes to go to work and didn't sit with myself. And, um, I had feelings that existed in my body dysregulation. And instead of, I didn't perceive to have the time to deal with it as I was at work. And instead I was like looking like, what can I, what can I eat? What can I drink? Like, you know, chewing nicotine gum and looking for all these ways to distract and distract and distract and move away from it. And the more that my vision of what I desire my life to look like becomes concrete, the more that I feel increasingly dysregulated when I'm feeding into my distractions. So it's like the more that you make. Your vision of what you want to your life to look like. You'll start to feel when you're doing anything that's not in alignment with that. And the more you experience what's not in alignment, the more you will, your higher self will try to push you out of that pattern when you're in it. And it's, it's a battle sometimes for me cuz like, um, these patterns are so ingrained and these addictions and addiction to distraction and addiction to chaos, it's so ingrained that I find myself making the progress, taking two steps forward and then finding myself right back there when something that is overwhelming or triggering or, um, intense happens. I, I find myself right back in my, in my pattern of using and abusing whatever it is I can to stimulate my mind and stimulate my body so I don't have to, to actually connect with myself and see what I

bill 49:16

Yeah. When you bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will save you. When you don't do it, it will destroy you, uh, quote unquote from our boy, Jesus Christ.

beth 49:30

Thanks boy,

bill 49:31

shouts out to the

beth 49:32

out. Jc. Shout out JC

bill 49:34

a hundred percent. He drops some truth for sure. He was a gangster.

beth 49:38

absolute wizard.

bill 49:39

Yeah. Um,

beth 49:41

a martyr.

bill 49:42

So it's like, yeah, you can continue to avoid your whole life. Um, but eventually you gotta, like, there's, it's, it's wild because these ways in which we avoid our own growth and being honest with ourselves and, and actually pursuing the things we know our hearts feel called to doing. There's certain things that just stop working. Like the, and you notice it, and then there's like, there's just layers of sorrow and sadness and, and grief and shame and. All these different things that come with that experience. So it's like, it could be this crazy cycle where you're just completely lost in your own mind, in your own head. And this is why I love speaking upon, you know, just basic health principles. Because when you can, you know, optimize your biology via eating the right foods, sleeping right, um, you know, connecting with people you love, connecting with nature, getting your bare feet on the earth sunning your balls. If, if you got the space to do sun, that perennial, um, it is much easier to take the steps, uh, towards higher attainment because you have the resources to do so. You're, you're, you're optimized within your body. You feel good within your body, and good things happen when you feel good. So, You know, like I said, I'll constantly preach about

beth 51:04

dropping into your heart

bill 51:05

care of yourself. Yeah. Sit with yourself. Yeah. Cause there's, yeah, it's interesting, these like different parts of us that will try and take the driver's seat and I, I really do feel like a consistent meditation stillness practice, whether it's, you know, walking or just sitting still and putting on some healing sound frequencies, doing something that is without like, you know, dopaminergic like stimulating activities such as like a phone or watching a TV show. Things that are just completely unnatural.

beth 51:37

It really boils, Sorry.

bill 51:39

No, just completely unnatural in the realm of how we evolved, you know, the things we were doing, which, which we didn't even have to like intentionally seek out a healthy lifestyle in the early years of human evolution, cuz we were so connected to the earth. That's how we lived. We had to be, we lived outside, we, we rose with the sun and, and we laid down with the sun. Um, we ate whole foods only because we didn't have factories producing fucking pop tarts and like, you know, canola, canola, oil laid in breads and all these different types of process, carbohydrates and candies and bars and all those bullshit that's poisoning our societies. So like

beth 52:18

furthering our disconnection from self and from. The earth in from each other.

bill 52:23

It is all about connection in the end. Like what are the ways that provide connection for you to yourself and that will, uh, allow you to create a vision for yourself in which you can pursue and that you can be on the path with, and that you can, you can dance with and, and work with. And, you know, the vision will always morph and reshape and change as you grow and, and explore different areas and people and communities and stuff like that. But, um, yeah, life's

beth 52:52

I found really refreshing when it comes to the idea of finding what it is that you desire to create out of your life. Okay. So once you start thinking in this way, thinking about what it is that you wanna create and what you wanna make out of your life, it comes down to, um, there, there will often be new things that you get to try. And, um, I find myself being afraid of that thought because it means failing and it means getting it wrong, and it means, um, facing the uncertainty. And today as I was on a walk, I was looking around at everybody doing their own individual things. And this song came on and it was called Nobody Cares

bill 53:38

Came and

beth 53:40

Nobody Gives a Fuck what you're doing. And my ego wanted to like not like that because I want, I want to be witnessed. But there's also this freedom in the idea that like, okay, everybody thinks that they're the most interesting person. Everybody thinks that they are, They're in their, everybody's in their main character mode. Like we're all living our own movie. So it's like the people around you, you know? Yes. Like, I, like, I care about what people are doing. But like, when it comes down to how many times you fail at something, or how many times you get something wrong or like, you know, maybe it's just a little messy getting started. Whatever it is you're doing, it's so freeing that nobody gives a fuck. You know? Cuz it is just, you have all this room to play. It's like, uh, like creating content for me. Um, I've had a lot of resistance around creating content online, even though I really enjoy doing it. Every time I'm about to press the, the post button, I get flooded with these doubts. Like, what if it's not good? What if people don't receive it? What if I don't get any engagement? But it's like every time I do it, I cultivate more and more of a style in how I'm doing it. Yeah. And, um, nobody's paying attention in a way where, where like anybody's going to notice, like I've looked back at things I've posted, and I'll find little bits of things that aren't in alignment anymore. You know? Or like, I'll have said something that like, I, I've grown to perceive differently and it's so freeing to be able to just like, like update my expression.

bill 55:14

Yeah. Like

beth 55:14

every day I'm, I'm creating something. Or at least I have the intention to. And each time you do it, even if you fail, you're, you're cultivating that expression. And anyway, that was, that's kind of like a not completely formulated,

bill 55:30

gives a shit about what you're

beth 55:32

Yeah So you might as well just You might as well just do it.

bill 55:35

do it. Um, those who matter, don't mind. And those who mine don't matter. Simply put, there's gonna be people that support you. Then there's gonna be people that project their shit all over you. And the more you care about what other people think, the more you're gonna lose because, you know, you can't be everyone's flavor of ice cream. That's, that's, uh, an analogy Ryan uses Mr. Ryan Sprague, which I thought was a really great way to portray that concept. And that's something I struggle with is like my, like. Self worth being built upon other people's opinions. Mm-hmm. and what other people think of me. What other, what I think other people may think

beth 56:16

make me. Oh yes

bill 56:18

here. It's like you get stuck in the fucking mind. Yeah. And you're creating all these, And that's exactly what I experience when I put myself in these groups of people where like I'm comparing myself to others and it's like this weird, like super meta projection where it's like I have this judgment within me where if like roles were reversed, I would be judging me for being in the position I'm in, if that makes any sense at all. And then just recognize that is, is pretty freeing. But at the same time, it's like still this reconfiguration process. Um, but understanding it and knowing that that's the case. And, and you know, that's, that's the brain's job. It's to protect us and to seek out threats and to make sure we're okay and that we're gonna survive. We're not gonna fucking die. And you know, these issues can seem like, On an energetic level, like potential death. Yeah. Like rejection from the tribe, you're fucked. Yeah. You know, it's

beth 57:12

a a core wound. Yeah. You know, the fear Like abandonment. It's, it's like, it's ingrained in us to, to be in community and to be, um, Yeah. Safe. What is the word? Exile. You don't wanna be exiled. I don't know. Yeah.

bill 57:26

But ultimately gotta fucking show up for yourself and you gotta, you gotta do the things you love and do them now. Um, there's always gonna be people in opposition and people judging what you do and judging who you are. And that's their problem to deal with. So.

beth 57:43

doing something right?

bill 57:44

I feel like you feel called to do something and you know, whether it's a podcast or you know, you wanna be a public speaker, or you wanna write a book, or you wanna make music, you wanna become an artist. There's gonna be people that don't understand, you know, your family, your friends, whatever. They're gonna treat it like this silly little thing that you're doing in your, Are you still doing the jewelry thing, Bill? I would get that so much. Really, for anyone that doesn't know, which I'm sure everyone knows. I'm a professional jeweler jewelry artist, and I've been doing it for many years, like five years into my career. Like I'd see all husbands, you still doing the jewelry thing? It's like, yeah, dude. Like I've been building my business for five fucking years. Like, you know, and that's maybe like a little bit of me projecting, you know, some of the things I'm experiencing internally in terms of insecurity onto them and maybe perceiving it wrong. But yeah, there will always be people that, um, aren't about what you do and, and they'll be threatened by what you do because they're not doing the thing

beth 58:40

more embodied you are, Yeah. The more people will be threatened by that who are not

bill 58:44

you cold? I can just close the window

beth 58:46

No, it's

bill 58:47

here. You can just take the, you can take the headset off and throw that on and I'll keep it

beth 58:50

going.

bill 58:53

oh shit. Technical

beth 58:56

Sorry everybody on chill.

bill 58:58

This is podcasting.

beth 59:00

Um, things happen. Real conversations. real humans. We're back.

bill 59:04

back. Lower the mic a little.

beth 59:06

There you go. Is that better? Um, fuck. I lost my

bill 59:11

so we were just talking about, you know, um, so you started with people not caring what you're doing. And I've experienced this in airports where it's like, I feel weird about actually stretching and taking care of my body before I sit down on a plane for two fucking hours, cuz everybody. enamored by their screens, and they're sitting down. Nobody's conversing. Nobody's connecting. It's, it's so weird. Like when I go to the airport, it's just such a strange universe. It's like the shittiest, most processed food people sitting down before they sit down even longer. And you know, I'm the guy doing fucking yoga and like handstands and like pushups and you know, down dog up dog.

beth 59:54

anyone ever joined you?

bill 59:55

Uh, no, but I definitely have gotten some weird looks and, you know, but I don't fucking care because I ultimately, that's what's gonna make me feel good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I mean, I don't really know how to wrap out that, wrap up that whole thing, but, um, if there was anything, you know, and this is just a message to myself essentially, because I'm going through this process, but, um, be your fucking self. Fully embrace that and do the thing you want to do and fully support, support yourself through it without letting you know someone else's potential opinion. Determine how you feel about it. I

beth 1:00:34

out in song on the bus When you're listening to bomb music outside dance down the street, you can do that.

bill 1:00:42

You

beth 1:00:42

You can climb a tree in the middle of the city. Like there, there is endless opportunity to express yourself in any given moment. Yeah. And that's been a personal practice of mine is exploring more of what, what I can, what feels good for me to do right now. And like, like you said, like stretching in the airport. I used to have so much resistance around like stretching or moving my body in the way I need in public, especially as a woman. Um, I can resonate with that and it's like, fuck that when you're feeling in your body, like you need to move in a certain way or it would feel good to explore your body or your voice, or whatever the case may be in whatever environment you're in. You might as well do that shit. Life's really

bill 1:01:28

You're a great example of this exact thing and, and actually doing it because you tell strangers that you love them. Like, I love you, my, they don't return it ever, but

beth 1:01:39

my life coach

bill 1:01:40

I think they just like, no, no no cuz you do love them. You're, you're in an embodiment and, uh, you know, you exemplify and exude unconditional love. That's, you do that because we do need more love. And perhaps that person isn't experiencing that. And, you know, everything is love, but the person may be under the impression and illusion that there is no love in their life. And even just hearing that, even if they may think it's silly, them hearing that, I feel like our unconscious mind will recognize that as, uh, you know, a, like a, a nourishing thing. So, It's dope.

beth 1:02:22

Thanks. Dope shit,

bill 1:02:24

Yeah. Super dope.

beth 1:02:26

it like destroys me sometimes when I think about how there's people who will go days, weeks, months without receiving a hug.

bill 1:02:34

Yeah. Isn't there's some statistics out there about how many hugs we should be receiving per day to be, you know, a healthy, vital human. Right. I mean, we we're meant to be connecting and, and you know, uh, platonically physically touching each other. Um, Exactly. Yeah. That was something that came to

beth 1:02:56

Yeah. Yeah It's sad.

bill 1:02:58

It's just sharing love. Yeah. It's just, it's nurturing. It's nurturing. There's things that happen. Your cells, this, the individual cells throughout your body, the 6 trillion, whatever it is, they're recognizing that, you know, your energy fields are merging when you, when you're that close with another person and you're really grounding and centering in into that experience in the moment, you're just being present with that loving touch. That is just, that's, that's epic as hell. You know,

beth 1:03:28

Give your homie a massage

bill 1:03:30

Sure,

beth 1:03:31

know

bill 1:03:31

Yeah. Yeah. Give'em a nice smack and a

beth 1:03:34

Yeah on the cheek.

bill 1:03:36

cheek smack. Yeah.

beth 1:03:37

you can ask them if you can smack their ass. That's always okay to ask.

bill 1:03:42

for sure. Yeah. Um, wow.

beth 1:03:45

friends. Give you a little booty bump

bill 1:03:48

little booty. Yeah, I mean, oh my gosh. It's in my family, you know, as like society has further stepped away from toxic masculinity. Things such as like, men need to be tough and not cry and not show emotion and, and remain stern and all these different things. Um, it's been beautiful to like witness my uncles who are in their like late sixties. They're just like, I give'em a hug. I'm like, I love you. You know, and, and they're totally open to it. And it's just so cool to experience that and witness that evolution in, uh, you know, with our people and, and like in our individual communities. Um, so riffing and ranton riffing and

beth 1:04:29

We love it.

bill 1:04:30

love it. Yeah, That's good stuff. Hug your, hug your pals, you know, Never know when you're gonna Yeah. That's, that's

beth 1:04:36

Tell'em what you appreciate about them. There's gotta be something. And that's something that like, well, bringing it back to when you were talking about, uh, how community became so important to me, um, when I started to connect with like, with, with our group, like our Celest group and now these people at the lake house and many people in between. Um, just witnessing it, like witnessing other people. being platonically, intimate with each other, You know, having little coddle puddles, giving each other massages, like asking them what feels good while they're giving massages. Um, and like seeing that example and, uh, um, I forgot where I was going with that. But

bill 1:05:20

you're talking about, uh, witnessing, you know, bringing it back to, you know, how being a facilitator of community emerged for you and then witnessing it at the lake house, people platonically, engaging with touch. Mm-hmm. does that spark any, any of that thread?

beth 1:05:34

yeah. I mean, I, it's so essential Yeah. To our wellness, to be connecting with each other in that way. Um, I really value it. Um, I feel amazing after like, Even a simple hug, you know, or like, um, I brought a book and I was, uh, sharing passages from it, and I immediately felt like closer and like I could see the people I was sharing with better, and I felt like they could see me better. And it's like, I don't, I really enjoy how many different ways there are to explore connection

bill 1:06:09

co-regulate, you know, you know, relax and let regulate your nervous system together. And that's, you know, one simple way you can do that. And Damn, I, I had something I was gonna share there. That was good. Um, shit. It's gone just like that. fuck,

beth 1:06:28

fuck come back thought

bill 1:06:30

it'll, you know, if it's meant to be express,

beth 1:06:34

I used to think that if I couldn't regulate myself, I couldn't be around other people. Like if I would find myself in a state ofe or dissatisfaction, I was like, I should probably stay home. Like, I feel like that that's like up until this year, you know, I, I thought that like, I have to do this myself. I have to regulate myself. And I mean, I know that that comes from many different periods in my life. Um, my family was not good with like, um, acknowledging emotional states or acknowledging like mental illness or the various ailments that can come about. And like, it was just, I didn't have a safe space to communicate. So like co-regulation didn't really exist for me growing up. So now part of the reparenting process and like healing has involved, allowing that type of connection, like allowing myself to be touched by others, you know, allowing myself to open up in ways that I'm not used to and like communicate how I'm feeling. That's, that's relatively new to me and it's exactly the medicine I need.

bill 1:07:37

That's perfect. Yeah. That's wonderful. That's, that's a beautiful share. Um, that brought my thought back, you know, connection. Is the medicine. And one thing I recognized being someone that is, you know, masculine oriented and be becoming a victim to productivity culture is that if I went outta my way to seek connection that day, the thing that serves me most and allows me to thrive the most I fucking want that day was that day's made. You know, if I literally went outta my way to support myself in that way. Yeah. Mean not that was the thought, but that was worth sharing.

beth 1:08:18

Loving yourself. Sharing that love with others through connection,

bill 1:08:23

Yeah. Cause we can validate ourselves through, you know, so many various extrinsic variables and components in our life and that's how society is programmed us. So we got our fucking priorities all jumbled and.

beth 1:08:39

more to each other?

bill 1:08:40

Yeah. And, and, and to remember that connection is really all there is. And that's the one thing you're going to be reflecting upon the most on your death bed if you get that opportunity to, you know, be in that position. Um, and it's, it's so weird how easy you can be to get lost in the matrix and the illusion, the Maya, which is uh, uh, translated the grand illusion. It's so easy to get, to get lost in that. It's wild to chase the dollar, to to chase the business, to, to chase all these external variables. When in reality, you, you just need more connection in your life and the rest wont fold. The rest will come to you, the rest will manifest. If you can cultivate connection within yourself and with the people around you on a daily basis, that's the name of the fucking game right there. Cause everything else will come to you. from your center. Yeah. You got that, that basic, you know, fundamental, um, nutrient that we all fucking need and that, and that people are forgetting and, and not to their own fault, but because of how we were programmed, you know, in the school system, how we were raised, all these different things. So it's easy to stray away from, you know, what is primarily important here, which is our love for ourselves and our love for one another and our love for the earth and, and connection to everything. So it's, yeah, I don't know. That had to come through. I feel

beth 1:10:04

How can you about how you move through your day and how you connect with others Like, what do I want to receive Conversation. this connection, and this moment? What can I unlock and, tap into with this other human? How can uncover even more depth of our own individual souls within this connection?

bill 1:10:33

Ah, I just high five during I dodged the high five. Gotcha. Um, so yeah, let's, uh, let's finish it up. My legs are ready to move.

beth 1:10:46

I'm getting like restless legs cuz I want to

bill 1:10:48

This was our best podcast yet

beth 1:10:50

every single one of them will

bill 1:10:51

Yeah. That's, I, that's the goal. Podcasting is something I'm like, I battle with myself on and, and showing up to the show and just expressing from my heart and, and allowing the things to come through that need to come through and that I feel called to sharing has been a grappling match, to say the least. But I'm very grateful to be here and to do this with you and to co-create and to share our love with the people. Thank you for being here for the relations station fully, for

beth 1:11:25

We love you guys.

bill 1:11:27

We love you all.

beth 1:11:28

Appreciate your.

bill 1:11:29

We would love to connect. find us on the Gram. You already know where she's at, at earth borne on Instagram. All, all the social media plugs will be in the show description. Spotify, Apple Podcast. Uh, if you like the show, please leave us a rating. Uh, whatever you feel called you honest review and we love you.

beth 1:11:53

I love you so fucking much

bill 1:11:55

Smooches Mama. Mama.

beth 1:11:59

Bye

bill 1:12:00

bye.