EP 29: The Design Blonde | From Workaholic To Empowered Entrepreneur

Since 2016, Angela has been co-creating brands and evolving processes in a wide range of environments. She started her career as an award-winning art director and graphic designer in the marketing and advertising industry and has since moved on to be a serial entrepreneur. She's worked as a creative strategist, consultant and professional speaker for agencies, businesses and individuals alike. Her impressively short track record encompasses a variety of multi-dimensional experiences in Marketing, Advertising, Business, Nonprofits and more.

Angela’s Plugs:

Website
https://thedesignblonde.com/

Instagram
https://instagram.com/thedesignblonde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Transcript

Bill: 0:00

Greetings, my friends. Welcome back to another delightful episode of the William Arthur Show. I am here with, yet again, another powerful creative guest, my old dear friend Angela Ryan. And this is, uh, a marvelous moment for me. I really appreciate getting to reconnect with people from my past and to, and to collaborate and, and share and, and connect and, um, offer, you know, whatever it is to the people that we feel called to sharing and, and conversing over. Uh, I did this exact same thing with Charlie Glenn. We came back together because I saw what he was doing with Stewart, and I know you've been carving your path in, in your own, uh, creative direction. And, um, I just think it's super powerful to, you know, commit to something that lights your heart on fire. And I know. What goes into it being on my own journey. So welcome to the show. Very stoked to be here with you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yes. Uh, Angela also goes by the design blonde. She's a creative strategist, a consultant, a mentor, you. I don't know if you would still consider yourself a graphic designer, but I know that's a big part of your journey. Um, professor, is that, is that, is that I am a lecturer. Okay. A lecturer. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for. Amazing. So, Yeah, we, we graduated from the same class, so we, we grew up in the same town, went to the same high school, so similar upbringing in that regard. Uh, similar friend groups and things along these lines. And recently Angela came to one of our Slingshot Wellness workshops. So thank you so much and, uh, reverence in terms of supporting us and our mission in that way. And from here, it would be great to dive into, you know, how is it that you describe what you do creatively, the unique magic that you are offering, the world currently, this amalgamation of all these different skills, a multifaceted, um, you know, method of sharing with others and serving others that you've been currently, uh, offering. I would love to hear in your own words what what that is.

Ryan: 2:23

So this has evolved as a story of what I do over the last year, and I've come to this formula of like a three by three. So there's three things that I do. I'm a, a creative strategist, which means a lot of things. Um, a consultant like you mentioned, and a professional speaker now. And I serve three groups of people being freelancers, creative entrepreneurs, um, creative agencies and corporate teams, and their internal marketing teams. So those three groups. Mm-hmm. and I kind of revolve around three areas or topics within those areas, um, including business. Mm-hmm. branding and marketing. So there's a lot in that, but that's kind of, I, I can. flex a lot of muscles in a lot of different places. Mm-hmm. So, um, more recently I've been focusing on the freelancer business consulting side of things. So, um, my path to get to where I'm at was not an easy one. There's not really like a freelance 1 0 1 that existed, um, back in college when I started, and so I now want to be that resource or that mentor that I never had to just teach people how to freelance on their own.

Bill: 3:48

I resonate. It can be very easy to be misguided and it can be challenging to find the right people to lead us in the direction that we're looking to go and wow, it's, it's. it's mind blowing how much time and energy you can save when you invest your resources and energy into a mentor that has walked a similar path that you're looking to take as well. I would be curious to hear, what is it most that lights you up about this work? What would, what would you say the primary why for doing this work, um, and, and offering this sort of service to others is for you? Oh,

Ryan: 4:32

I think for me it's the transformation. So, um, I've always, no matter what I've done in every walk of life, just wanted to help people. kind of figure themselves out, figure out what they wanna do. And so for me to be able to give people like their light bulb moment is just so gratifying for me. Connect

Bill: 4:51

the dots. Yep. Hell yeah. Yeah. I know. Uh, so seems like I don't know much about your story and, and, and I love hearing, uh, you know, the, the path in which entrepreneurs, creatives, artists, uh, wellness practitioners and, and so on, what it is that path is that has led them to this point. Cuz obviously there's, you know, so many ups and downs and, and there's so many, um, different ways in which we can engage with the work, uh, in terms of like, if it's serving us or, or if it's not. And we can find ourselves doing, you know, one step forward, two steps back type of thing. And, and there's always like a really interesting. Uh, story behind, you know, people that are successful in their craft and, and what they do. And it's very valuable for people to, you know, hear these, the story arch of what it is that you know, people like you and I have been through to get to where we are. And I know a key component of your story, at least from what I can tell just briefly looking at your website and some conversation we had was the, uh, workaholism paradigm. And I feel like this is something a lot of people commonly fall into, um, considering there's so much media out there and there's so much conversation around like grind culture and like hustle 24 7 and, you know, basically sacrifice yourself for your work and ultimately this being a, um, a relationship with your work that creates disharmony and negates from your health and things along these lines. And, you know, me personally, I. Fell into something similar. And I got a lot of, I made a lot of progress very fast in what I did in terms of developing my skills as a jewelry artisan and, and things like this. But essentially every other bucket of my life, relationships, connection to myself, mental health, emotional health, uh, physical health, things like this, all those things started to really fall to the wayside. And basically, I became really unhappy, although, like I was going after this thing that society had deemed what would make me a successful person, like fully. And it was great to fully commit to, um, this craft and, and pour myself into it in this way. But it definitely fell into the realm of like a disordered relationship with my work. And I was completely imbalanced, uh, in terms of myself and my relationship with life and creating that balance of, you know, work life and things along these lines. and yeah, it just seems like it's a common story. That's a common story and experience that's perpetuated in society. Um, so I would love to hear your journey with all that and, and whatever else comes to mind, whatever else is present with you. With all that being said. Yeah.

Ryan: 7:53

So first off, thank you for sharing all of that. I don't know how much you've actually talked about that journey and that self-awareness, but A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Um, it's, it took me a long time to get there. Mm-hmm. So, and I remember the first time I started talking about this, it was really hard for me. So bear with me. This will be a long story, but Yeah.

Bill: 8:11

What's most personal is most universal. So I, it's so powerful to just share, uh, from the heart and share authentically, because a lot of the times we find ourselves in circles where we're really. Living on the surface, and that becomes the norm. And we need to, you know, express what it is our experiences are so we can like collectively grow together. I feel. Yeah. So

Ryan: 8:34

my story starts way back before work was even like a thing. Mm-hmm. Um, before we get there, it's, I wanna get to the point where I started becoming aware of what was happening. So about three years ago, give or take, um, I was at my first full-time job out of the college. I was, um, successful award-winning designer, graphic designer, and, um, art director at an advertising agency. And, um, was, you know, very much in a place where I. Felt like I finally had like done it kind of thing. Mm-hmm. And so I was feeling very successful and I was with a team that I really liked working with. Um, and something happened that I just, I, everything kind of crumbled. So it, it was very much a slow burn of getting into the workaholic cycle. Um, I didn't know what workaholism was at the time. And so what happened was, um, some of my coworkers ended up leaving, um, very different circumstances and I took on a lot of work at the time. Um, and so I pretty much just poured my entire life into work. Mm-hmm. and it got to a point where it broke me. So there was probably a week, uh, two to three weeks actually, where it was a constant cycle of like, I'd be up at 5:00 AM working till 2:00 AM

Bill: 10:13

Damn That's a marathon.

Ryan: 10:15

Not, not ever, not every day. But I mean, it was consistent enough that it became a problem. And so, um, a lot of this too, like I, I didn't share at the time. Like my bosses didn't entirely know what was going on. I mean, they knew that I was working a lot. They'd see emails, you know, after hours, things like that, but mm-hmm. they didn't really know the severity of what was happening. And so, um, it got to a point where I just, it took a toll on my physical health. Like, I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating like it was not good Yep. So then, Ended up deciding to go into therapy shortly after that. And that was the first step of many that, you know, brought me out of a really dark place. Mm-hmm. And so, um, found out through therapy that I had a lot of unresolved trauma from my entire life. And, um, realizing that most of my work relationships and personal relationships were severely codependent. Mm-hmm. um, that was a word I also didn't know until I went into therapy and she explained it. Um, there's one book that I got out of therapy that I recommend everyone should read. Honestly, it's a life book, in my opinion, called Codependent No More. Mm-hmm. Um, Really opened my eyes to what was actually happening in my life. And so, um, I'll just give kind of one big blanket trigger warning here for anyone who's listening or watching. Um, but realizing through therapy that I have been exposed to a lot of things that, um, contribute to co-dependency. Like if I had a bingo card, probably one bingo a couple times. Yeah. Um, but I mean, lots of alcoholism. Um, essay for those that don't know what essay means, Sten, sexual assault, um, suicide. I had lots of friends and family that either attempted or followed through with ending their life. Um, and so through all of that, which all happened prior to college, um, so through my childhood, through middle school, through high school. That was a really tough time that I didn't even realize was tough until the last three years. And so for that pivotal moment to come to light and then my therapist being like, oh, you dive into work because it's your control space. Mm-hmm. was like, holy crap, Yeah. Um, you know, being the only thing that I actually could get something positive out of at the time and, um, have full control over so. Mm-hmm. just gonna take a deep breath there cuz that was a lot Um. But yeah, so that's kind of where everything started since then, um, I've now, my therapist said I've graduated from therapy, so so I don't continually go anymore. But I have thought about going back just because it is something that I find, um, very fruitful and helpful. Yeah. Um, talk therapy for anyone who's considering, like just try it. Yeah. Um, it's, it was really great for me to work through, um, not only those personal issues, but current issues I was dealing with. Just to have somebody who is also not involved in my life mm-hmm. to talk to.

Bill: 13:47

That's huge because yeah, you're, you can go to your friends for advice and for support and for space holding all you want, but they are, um, they are biased because they are your friends. So they may try to emotionally coddle you instead of giving you the real truth and their. Emotionality and their emotional experience in relativity to yours can get in the way of, um, actually helping you regulate it could actually create more dysregulation and Yeah. Therapists. And that's a very valuable tool for finding the truth of your situation and, and the clarity and, and someone that has the training to do so. And that's, you know, a deep rabbit hole. But I, I agree with you in terms of it, you know, and, and the process of healing and self-awareness and, um, you know, learning the tools of self-regulation, it's a never ending journey. And I know a lot of people that have, uh, resorted to, um, mental health consultation through therapy. I've found a lot of benefit through it. Mm-hmm. And it's just one of the many tools we can use to create that clarity and. And find that support, uh, that unconditional support from someone who is a professional and isn't gonna be in the mix of like your life directly and is, is looking at it from the outside and isn't attached to your experience, right?

Ryan: 15:17

Mm-hmm. um, and, you know, just attending other things like your workshop was really, um, a great mental space for me as well. Um, so things like that just I started to do things I wouldn't normally do, um, in terms of how I handled my mental health. Mm-hmm. Um, so I really put that at a priority. And so shortly after that, um, I'm thinking in terms of the timeline, like a year, half year and a half ago. So about, um, October. of 21. Mm-hmm. or in 23 Yeah. Um, that's kind of when all this went down. And then I spent the next six months really focusing on my mental health. I, um, a year ago left my job at the agency, um, and just really started to focus on how to fix myself. Well, not fix myself, but like learn to love the things, the person that I am because of my experiences.

Bill: 16:15

There is some unwinding to do, which I, I can directly relate to. It's just for most of us, we're not giving, given the tools, we're not taught how to take a look at our lives and to self-reflect and, and how to self-regulate and, and how to express and be with our emotions. So for. The work was also an avoidance tactic to a certain degree. Mm-hmm. to like deeper, underlying issues of insecurity. Me thinking that once I become successful in this craft and become the best, that's, that's when I can have the love. That's when I'll receive the love, that's when I'll experience the love. Yep. When really that's just, uh, you outsourcing your power and the only place you can find love is within yourself. And that's the only place that it can be found sustainably. And of course, being successful is important and, and proving to yourself that you can achieve something and, and carry something out. And that has its own benefits on the nervous system itself. But yeah, I can really relate to your experience in terms of the mental health issues. And I was also, you said you were dealing with some alcoholism personally. Mm-hmm. Yep. I was, you know, I mean this started even before I got addicted to work in a sort of way and, and used it as a method of like, yeah, essentially avoidance. Um, I was experiencing issues with substance abuse as well with cannabis, alcohol, other drugs and, and just adding fuel on the fire of just like not feeling well and, and taking myself further and further away from myself. And, and these were things I just all turned to, cause I didn't know like, what to do. That was just like the path of least resistance and what provided the relief I needed. Um, so yeah, there was a ton of unwinding and self-reflection that needed to be done. And, and like some of those things still, um, there's still things I'm working through, interestingly enough, so it's like shit goes deep and yeah. I can just relate to a lot of your personal experience with

Ryan: 18:17

that. Yeah. And just to clarify a little bit, um, I wasn't in the hot seat of, um, dealing with different substances and alcohol. There were a lot of people around me and in my life that. um, were very alcoholic in a very detrimental way. Mm-hmm. um, you know, I, I had been involved in situations where I'd get calls in the middle of the night and, you know, friends that have, um, you know, just needed me to be there. Mm-hmm. which mm-hmm. um, contributed I think a lot to the co-dependent relationships and having that anxiety of like, wanting to make sure other people are okay. Um, you know, my, my parents bless their souls. I, they're some of the greatest people of my life. Um, they were entrepreneurs themselves, but in a bar and restaurant scene. So for me to reflect on my experiences as a young person in a bar environment, um, looking back, realizing like how messed up some of those things are now Yeah. As an adult. Um, but just a lot of my codependent tendencies have come from just. Not wanting people to die Mm-hmm. I mean, flat out, like, it sounds really dramatic, but it, that was what it was. That's what I was living

Bill: 19:36

every day. Yes. And so it was just, it was, uh, hard for you to like fully embrace the truth and reality of that? Is that what you're saying? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. I mean, of course it's like that you love people so deeply and like the idea of someone, you know, something happening like the immense grief and, and pain and suffering that comes with that. Like, I mean, we can all relate to not wanting to be with that. You know, that's, that's, that's, that's a huge weight to bear.

Ryan: 20:06

And I think just my view of people. um, being so much grander than they view themselves. Like it's, I mean, you yourself, you're such a beautiful person, but like, I can't make you think that if you don't think that. And so I think that was a really difficult turning point for me in assessing my relationships. Mm-hmm. is just, I can't fix people. People have to fix themselves. Yeah.

Bill: 20:35

Um, that's true. They have to come to their own realizations. You can be there to support, but it, it can, like you were saying, it can fall into this co-dependent relationship where they're completely relying on you to like offload, you know, whatever negative experiences they're having without actually taking any real action to resolve the things they're going.

Ryan: 20:55

Yeah, I joke around that I'm the group mom and the group therapist Yep. Which, I mean, don't get me wrong, I align with those. Like, I very much care deeply for other people and just, yeah. It was a very tough lesson for me to learn that like, I can't help people

Bill: 21:10

help themselves. And what you're truly doing when you set the boundary of like, I'm not gonna continue to be this person that you lean on, uh, nonstop, is, is you're eradicating that codependent relationship and giving them true love. True love is like unconditional. Like, I want what is actually best for you. Mm-hmm. And if that means some discomfort in the moment because I'm setting this boundary, I'm gonna do that because. That's, that's how you're actually gonna grow, like, through that tough love, which is Yeah. That's, that's a challenging thing to do. And that's, that's an art form. That's an art form to be able to do that and like maintain your sphere while it's happening and, and yeah. Stay

Ryan: 21:47

with that. Yeah. I st I still to this day struggle with that and I think, um, I view myself as the trigger

Bill: 21:53

friend Yeah. Like you said, you're, uh, self or you're, uh, recovering people pleaser as, as we all are. Oh yeah. So that's just like, it's like we don't, we're conflict stinks. Conflict stinks. Mm-hmm. we want to, like, I'm a conflict. I experience conflict avoidance. I want to identify with that, but that's something that was programmed into me from a very young age. Um, never having been given the tools to navigate conflict in a healthy way. And as I have become an adult, it's like I, you know, this is just, uh, an inherent part of life is learning to navigate, uh, disagreements in a healthy way and learning to use your communication to do so. And that, um, the only real resolution that can happen is through, you know, fully facing that and, and doing that.

Ryan: 22:39

Yeah, absolutely. And I think one of the best things about, um, working at the agency I did is my superiors really believed in like conflict resolution and they had hired an accountable teams coach. And so I got some of that training formally, which was really helpful for me coming out of, um, you know, the, the bomb that was dropped on my life of what was happening. Um, but. A lot of people don't actually know how to have that communication. Um, also one of the big phrases that I use a lot is, um, comprehension is key, not communication. Cuz you can communicate all you want, but unless the other person can see your side or understand what you're saying, even if they don't agree it, it doesn't matter. Mm-hmm. So learning how to communicate effectively, but also how to, um, understand mm-hmm. and assess. Mm-hmm. is also

Bill: 23:37

super important through that. But so with, so I forget where we were at in your journey of, you know, things were not going well for you, you hit a rock bottom in a sort of way where there's lots of chaos, lots of, you know, just the nature of what you're experiencing was. Hectic and, and you weren't feeling the best. And wh where is we're at this point, what happens next? And how do you, well, you went well you said you went to therapy and you started your healing process, um, after you gained these new awarenesses, what does the process look like of starting to implement these things, starting to have, uh, you know, a healthy relat. with your work and everything else around you?

Ryan: 24:22

Well, the first step was I quit my job. Um, and I mean, I was very honest with them when, when I left. It's, they knew everything, um, that I was going through and just, I needed to give myself the time and the space to figure out what I needed to do. Um, I had already started the design bond at the time, but like I didn't have a fully formulated idea of what I needed it to be. So I began freelancing right away. Um, it's something just under that name. I have been freelancing for years. Um, but full-time freelancing was kind of my first step. And um, you know, got a couple gigs right away. Of course you have to make a living, so it was Yeah, it's just, it was the natural next step. Um, from there I kind of figured out, um, started seeing patterns of. Consistent working habits for me and the partners that I was working with. Um, cuz I've worked now as a freelancer with a number of agencies as well. So seeing the different tendencies that happen between. All the agencies and the industry as a whole, but we'll get to that topic in a little bit. Um, but just noticing my own patterns and behaviors and how to stop them. Mm-hmm. through freelancing, cuz I was now in control of my schedule and who I work with and when I work with, um, which it really was a big reason of why I left, um, is just to have all of that control and the control over the projects I was working on. The thing I didn't account for all the time was that I had to do everything

Bill: 25:56

Yeah. That's stressful. And that requires a lot of energy. And, and then there's, yeah, there's more boundaries to be drawn in terms of, it becomes harder to draw the line of, you know, being in your life and cultivating your relationships and doing other things you love, and then creating this, um, you know, passion project of like, this is my freedom. This is what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. this is how I'm gonna help others. So yeah, it becomes, it can become entangled. It can, like you were saying, that codependent dynamic and it's like, yeah, it's really hard to figure out a process and, um, you know, tendencies and, and an approach to. Navigate it in a healthy way where you feel good and, you know, you're, you're filling all the different buckets of what it means to be a happy, healthy, and whole person in harmony, uh, you know, just with your experience. Yeah.

Ryan: 26:50

And I think I came to learn early on just how long it actually takes you to get out of burnout, which the average I've heard is three to five years. Mm-hmm. which is a really long time. And so I came in with the mindset of like, okay, this is gonna be an ongoing thing. It's, I'm gonna have to figure out how to do both. Um, and as we talk about the, the difficulties or the almost hesitancy to go into freelancing of having to do it all, that's kind of where the light bulb started for me to wanting to work with other freelancers. Right. Cause I was like, it doesn't actually have to be as hard as it seems. Um, you know, of course I hesitated on it for a long time. and just kind of that part became really stressful in my business is like the operational side, the client management side and whatever. I was really passionate about that side because I like, I'm very natural, just a teacher of the things that I know. So to be able to teach my clients who maybe have never worked with a freelancer before. how to work with a freelancer. Mm-hmm. with something. I was like, oh yeah, this is really like, I, I love this gratification of like teaching somebody that freelance exists and it could be just as rewarding as, you know, hiring a bigger company to do it, but also much more approachable. Mm-hmm. and, um, within reach for smaller companies. So, started off after working with a couple agencies, working with more non-profits and mom and pop shop kind of things. Cool. Um, you know, just helping them with standard stuff, like creating a logo, making their website, giving them a Facebook page, you know, whatever they needed. Mm-hmm. Um, and so I was kind of going down that path at first focusing on nicheing down this actual freelance services I was offering, but then alongside that, also building this like, oh, I wanna teach other people how to do their own business. Mm-hmm. because like, it's, I've seen really good success from it and I feel much better as a person, like e everyone could do this if they wanted to. Mm-hmm. And, um, I think where I'm at now is I've learned a lot of things over the last year continuing to freelance, um, in a number of areas. And so now I'm in a space where I'm doing mostly just marketing, consulting, not so much execution work. Um, and almost bringing the worlds together cuz there's a lot of overlap that I think people don't realize, um, especially this. I don't know why there's such a rift between freelancers and agencies, but like they work with each other still. Mm-hmm. Um, there's just some weird stigma that I still don't quite understand. Um, but really it's, my view of it is, is it can be very symbiotic. Um, the way I run my business is if I have certain projects that I maybe don't specialize in the services or the talents that are needed. I have people I go to and just contract them. Mm-hmm. So it's, it's very much how agencies hire people out when they need help, but, um, that's where I'm kind of at now, is like melding all of my worlds together into one thing that I can now deliver. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bill: 29:59

Wow. And it was really complex, but yeah, a lot. Like, I'm like, some of the terminology I'm like, I don't fully understand, but that's, that's okay. That's okay. Um, well that's, that's such a way too, um, you know, Pay attention in terms of like, you're at this point with your work or like it's not working and things are not flowing and things do not feel good, and you're experiencing this darkness and lots of disharmony and, and like we were saying before, chaos, and it, it can be very easy to continually continue to push away and stay comfortable where you're at, when in reality you're really just adding to like the pile of, um, basically being in like a disease state. And that's something I think a lot of us experiences. Like we know something's wrong and, and we, we feel something is out of alignment yet. Um, we don't really know where to start or like what it is exactly is happening within us, within our experience. Um, and, and, and to take steps forward to start to resolve it. So I wanted to recognize that just, uh, like seeing that things aren't, aren't going smoothly and then taking steps forward and, and inquiring within and, and getting honest with yourself about where you're at, recognizing it's not gonna lead, uh, to anywhere you want to go. Um, that's tough to do. It's tough to, it's tough to like have that self honesty and, and zoom out and, and really take a look at your situation and, um, start to like unravel the experience and, and, and get the professional help or whatever help it is that one needs to con the start to clear things up and, and get on a path that feels good and, and find that balance and in all the different ways. And, uh, it's interesting because yeah, these, the, we face these quote unquote negative experiences, but ultimately, like they're the most enlightening. Um, Things we can go through in terms of, cuz that's the awareness is hard to avoid when there's so many things that feel uncomfortable happening at a single time. Um, so do you help a lot of people with, um, recognizing where they meet, where they may be falling into, uh, a disordered relationship with their work? Is that a small aspect of what you do, or?

Ryan: 32:31

I think there's some crossover. It's not something that I like focus on mm-hmm. Um, but a lot of the work that I do and a lot of the clients that I work with, most of the typical conversations come to overcoming imposter syndrome. Yeah. And um, you know, as somebody who struggles with that as well, it's, it's very much an ongoing and probably forever will be an ongoing thing. Mm-hmm. um, It's very common with, um, people who are in co-dependent relationships. It's just, it something again that I have to live with and work through every single day. It's an ongoing battle. Um, but I've learned better ways to deal with it. And so working with other people and now especially students, um, at my job at the university, like to be able to give them the space to just come talk to me and have a conversation about, they're not sure about this. They don't know, you know, what their future holds. Mm-hmm. like, is this even an option for me to get a job? Um, a lot of the similar questions that I had experienced that, you know, I got half answers too from certain people, but just, I never had somebody who just like didn't sugarcoat it for me. Um, and going back to you talking about self-awareness and all the work that I have done myself, and I'm sure you have done as well, I just want to, uh, Discussed too that it, it didn't, it isn't all just me, but it started with me. So I was very cognizant of the people I was surrounding myself with as well. Um, and a lot of those people that were also a support system for me and vice versa. Um, but then also just looking at, you know, I, one of my, um, Methods, I guess that is a little more negative of me dealing with when I'm falling into a cycle is I tend to self isolate That's what I do too. And I know at that point that I'm like, oh, I need to go do something

Bill: 34:30

Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's the move. It's like break that pattern. And the more that you can do that, the less you're, um, bolstering this like, codependent relationship or this addictive tendency rather mm-hmm. or this, this tendency that. Is supporting your complacency and where you're at and where you're resonating at as a human, I can relate to, like that's my comfort zone is like being alone. And that's, that's where I was primarily as I was, you know, cultivating my craft in, in jewelry art was like, it was just me in my studio and my mom's basement, just like going all in with that. And I got really comfortable with being alone and my social muscle started to atrophy and I wasn't getting that key nutrient of connection. And I still mm-hmm. want to do that. Like, even today, I wasn't, I just woke up this the past week, just haven't been feeling the best. And all I've been really wanting to do is like, pretty much nothing and, and be alone. And I know that that's not going to do anything in terms of getting me out of like the rut I'm experiencing and shifting my momentum. Um, so yeah, I can relate to the, the self isolating variable as a coping mechanism. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, that's a challenging thing to navigate and I'm sure many people experience something similar. Yeah.

Ryan: 35:49

There's um, it, speaking of doing nothing, there's a class that I think is being offered at UWM now, um, as well as some other area schools that's called the art of doing nothing. And it's really about not actually doing nothing but like how to spend your void time, um, into more constructive things. Mm-hmm. that, you know, we have to push ourselves out of Yeah. Right. Um, so I also think that's really interesting way of dealing with my coping mechanisms is like what I choose to do when I start to self isolate. But um, yeah, I think it, the awareness of not only that, but I think sometimes I'm addicted to my own misery.

Bill: 36:34

Yeah. Yeah. Cuz your nervous system's familiar with it. It's like become programmed to resonate there. So there's like, Unconscious mechanisms pushing you to bring you back down to being in that place. So that makes sense. Yeah. But

Ryan: 36:49

now learning to be comfortable with being happy and mm-hmm. like being able to like pat myself on the back for things like that was a weird thing for a while where I was like very fearful of my own success. Um, and so now I've like pushed past that and I've really started to. give myself grace with different steps of comfortability. Mm-hmm. um, just learning to be uncomfortable. Yeah. It's has really been

Bill: 37:16

very reporting What have been some of your, do you have, um, specific methods of incorporating that into your life? Cause that's something I'm a huge fan of. Two. Um. Purely, you know, mainly from a physical standpoint doing, you know, cold exposure, doing sauna vigorous workouts. And then from a social standpoint too, and just doing things that, uh, I know are super beneficial for me and, and throwing myself into the mix of like unfamiliarity and, and into the uncertainty and, and watching how I evolve and like how I feel about myself. And, um, I think there's just something hardwired into us that, uh, really rewards us when we, when we really fully embrace, um, some sort of pattern interrupt experience and embracing discomfort as a method of adapting and evolving. Cuz I feel ultimately that's what humans are designed to do and that's what we've been doing, overcoming hardship and then, um, you know, adapting via that and, and becoming more, um, more, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Drawing a blank here. Just more. capable individuals, right?

Ryan: 38:29

Yeah. I think for me it was, um, just not thinking and

Bill: 38:34

doing. Yes, the mind is a, can be a nuisance and I love, that's like such an art form and a practice is learning how to override, um, just. Basically the like, onslaught of thoughts that will prevent you from doing something you're uncomfortable with. Cuz it's just the ego wanting to maintain itself and, and it feels threatened. Mm-hmm. when you put yourself in a situation where like, you may be exposed to new stimuli or like, you may, it's possible that you'll get embarrassed or, um, a new physical thing too, which like the ego just doesn't like discomfort and you can like kind of expand your ability to lean into that. And a lot of life is doing just that. It's just like overriding those thoughts and then doing the thing and, and then you recognize how rewarding it is. So like, expanding your capacity to do that. Mm-hmm.

Ryan: 39:24

Yeah. It, it's signing up for things I wouldn't normally sign up for. Like, just going and putting myself out there. I think, um, it, it came down more to practice than a method. Mm-hmm. um, which still continually doing, you know. Yeah. Um, Like attending a workshop for the first time. Yeah. I didn't know, I knew half of those people, but Right. You know, meeting some new people and doing something that's out of the ordinary. Um, I attend a lot of events, especially within my own industry. Mm-hmm. So like, I'm very comfortable in sort of that extroverted Yep. Area of life. Um, but it, yeah, I just, I'm very much an overthinker, so being able to just like shut it off and go do something

Bill: 40:04

Yeah. It's challenging. It's, uh, and it's interesting because following that and recognizing like, this is the thing that's gonna lead me in the direction of like my greatest and grandest life and lifestyle and new relationships and stuff like that. That's so key. It's so key. and it's easy to conceptualize, but to do it and, and to practice that is, is so much harder cuz you're continually putting in yourself in a place where you're not, you're gonna feel out of your element. And, and there's plenty of emotional sensations that come with that, that aren't the most pleasant to experience and your nervous system becomes upregulated and things like that. And it's amazing how much more robust we can become and, and what we can truly accomplish and what, you know, what it is we can bring into our lives via that concept alone of just, um, embracing the fact that like doing epic things is gonna require an element of discomfort and learning to override the, um, yeah, just the, the mentality of, and the thoughts that wanna hold you back from doing that is a, it's a. it's a huge thing for sure. Oh yeah.

Ryan: 41:14

And then being co-dependent on top of it, like learning to trust people again. Mm-hmm. um, you know, people I didn't know. I think I always had a fear of like being taken advantage of again. Um, which isn't true. I mean, that was just my brain trying to protect myself from doing things that it was just an unrealistic thing. Um, but then to like go and do the thing and then leave feeling like, oh my God, I did the thing.

Bill: 41:38

Yeah. You've done a lot of that. I mean, you're getting up in front of groups of people and, and presenting and I, I feel that there's an interesting statistic out there, uh, showing like, you know, a vast majority of people that's like their number one fear, um, in terms of public speaking. Yeah. Yeah. Public speaking. that was a huge hurdle for me to overcome and, and, and still overcoming, and still adapting to, and getting comfortable with, is just learning how to express myself as myself, even on a podcast here or you know, obviously with the workshops and speaking in front of groups of people and, um, it's, it's, it's wild. It's wild to like slowly move into that role and, and feel good doing it and being someone that was in high school and like totally would lose their breath and, you know, get really rosy cheeks in front of it. And it was just like, I dreaded it. I dreaded it. I was like, I hate this. I never want to do this. And, um, I don't know what that is. That's interesting that, that gets ingrained in us that. You're not safe. You're not safe getting up in front of this group of people. So yeah, it's cool to like recognize the level at which you've put yourself out there and navigated that process of getting comfortable in front of groups of people. And I bet there's tons of like side effects, side benefits that have come with that. Like feeling confident in your own skin and your relationships. Mm-hmm. and just being able to express to a new degree and create to a new degree. And that amazing effective momentum that comes with just continuing to build and step into that. Yeah. It

Ryan: 43:16

reminds me of a couple years ago, the first like real big in-person workshop that I did, um, was for a group of students and young professionals about. just con the key to confidence essentially. Yeah. And so it was a whole retreat for a weekend. Um, and I came to it with how to instill confidence through action. Mm-hmm. so like, just doing stuff. And the whole thing was about self project management, like mm-hmm. Because I mean, studies show that being able to check things off of your to-do list make you more confident. That's just something that they've realized happens. Even little things. So like, you know, some of the things I talk about in that, um, workshop that I can share with everybody who's listening is just limiting yourself to three things a day. Make it a small checklist, your, your brain's not capable of handling more than that. And so when you put, um, an endless to-do list together, it's you're in a sense failing. Yeah. And so you're tricking yourself into thinking you can't do stuff. Instead, you should be focusing on, okay, here's the absolute things that I need to get done today. Which, you know, it does not mean write a book Mm-hmm. it means start the first chapter. Yeah. You know, write one

Bill: 44:36

page Yeah. Or small actionable steps that you can Yes. Achieve. And then it's interesting, uh, starting to do that. Like I'm someone that's very structured in the way I approach my days and utilizing, um, you know, to-do lists and stuff like that. I've fallen on both sides, where like, I overpack it and I put all these different things and I don't, um, you know, achieve and tick off all the boxes. Then there's something happening on an unconscious level where I feel like, I, I don't just, I don't feel accomplished. And, and that's like a blow to, uh, me feeling good about my experience. And, and, and, you know, there's so many other stories that manif manifest from that feeling incapable, like, oh, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm just spinning my tires in place. And then on the other side of that, um, it's amazing what happens when, like, yeah, you keep it reasonable. And I've come to the point where like, if I don't finish all the box, it's like, whatever. I have these like three main ones like you were saying, and, and, um, carrying out those tasks, tasks, executing on them, and um, like feeling into, I did this thing and then neurons that fire together wire together. So your brain's making a connection there and you're getting that momentum, which is very helpful. And yeah, there, it's like a very basic thing at the same time, super effective in terms of like, um, you know, proving to yourself that you can carry out, you know, what you're, what you set out to do, essentially.

Ryan: 46:03

Yeah. And then there's, you know, things you can add on to that based on, you know, how you function or how you learn and things like that. Like, you know, reward systems. So once you get something done, you stack it with reward. Mm-hmm. Um, and that's a good cycle to help you to continue to do things like a lot of people. put it with not as healthy things. You know, like, oh, if I finish this, then I can go get my

Bill: 46:26

Starbucks and Yeah, it's drink a cocktail or Right. Eat a piece of cake or what. And that, that's good too. But if it's like a continuous, um, if that's a habit that you create for yourself that Yeah, it's just, it can be, it's, there's a balance and everyone's different of course. So, oh yeah. Mm-hmm.

Ryan: 46:44

Um, but yeah, it's, it was really cool for me to be able to give that talk. And then through that talk, one of the questions came up, um, about, oh, you seem really confident. How do you do it? My response was, if anybody tells you they're confident a hundred percent of the time they're full of it. Yeah. Like, nobody, it, even celebrities, you know, we were talking about some of the celebrity news that's, um, happening as of late, but like, I guarantee you, uh, those people, like singers, actors, whatever, they still get nervous. They still are not confident a hundred percent of the time. Yeah.

Bill: 47:23

Otherwise they're probably sick. Yeah. they're, they're, something's not functioning properly. There, there's some, there's a screw loose or something. It's, it's inherent in the human experience that will face, um, just feeling, yeah. Feeling that nervousness. Mm-hmm. especially when you're stepping into new things and trying new things and putting yourself out there and, um, taking risks and taking those big leaps forward. That's just, that's, that's totally natural, uh, till the day that you die. Um, of course, like you start to develop confidence in specific areas, you get more comfortable with it. Mm-hmm. but it's actually a wonderful sign that you experience that. Cause that means you're growing and you're learning and you're. doing new things. Yeah.

Ryan: 48:08

And I mean, biologically it's fight or flight. Yeah. Like it's just you are wired as a person to be nervous. Mm-hmm. it just, it's a new thing. You've never experienced it. Your body is like, okay, we'll we'll see. Yeah. But then once your body realizes it's safe, um, you can then Yeah. You know, get comfortable and continue to do it again. Comes with practice. Mm-hmm. Um, but I think for me to be able to say that out loud was a self-awareness that like I could be confident, ironically, confident in moving forward in my own path that like realizing that from who I had learned from and that I was telling. the same learnings to this audience. Mm-hmm. that not everybody is confident that like I could pave my own way without feeling that hesitancy. Mm-hmm. and that just to be comfortable in it, like it was something I was gonna have to live with. So just do it, like why waste the time or procrastinate on it.

Bill: 49:04

Yeah. What's the experience like now? Um, I mean obviously you're developing in all these new ways, continuing to do the public speaking. Is it, is it something that you feel, uh, pretty solid in, in terms of like your emotional experience leading up to, is there always like a little bit of pre jitteryness going Absolutely. Into, yeah, of course. That's good I think with everybody. Yep. Yep. There's certain neurotransmitters that are being released to, uh, create more mental acuity and more alertness. So it can be nice to like reframe it as like, oh, this my body. Helping me in a certain way and, and it's, it's helping me to be optimized for this talk or this presentation that I'm about to do. And it means you care cuz you want to mm-hmm. you want to provide something of value to whoever it is you're presenting to and working with. And, um, so yeah, it can be a beneficial thing as well. Yeah. And

Ryan: 49:58

I think a lot of that started with client presentations. Mm-hmm. I mean, I've been doing them forever and I mean forever since I started working. Yeah. Um, but like that's kind of where the public speaking first, like the nervousness started, but then also the realizing I was really good at it. And, um, I'm very much an in-person, like bouncing off of other people's energy and like talking through, of course, things I'm knowledgeable in, but also having candid conversations with other people about what they're knowledgeable in. And so started with client presentations, but now that I'm in a public speaking sphere, it's a little bit different. Prep, if that makes sense. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, so like when, when I'm approaching a client meeting, it's, it's very buttoned up. Like I have my presentation in order it, storytelling arc and everything. Mm-hmm. Um, cuz storytelling is important part of marketing. Um, but it's, it was like an up until the, the presentation thing. Now with public speaking, it's, I get into cycles of overthinking sometimes up until, so I have to literally just like almost set a timer or like a time limit on when I have to stop thinking about it X amount of hours before mm-hmm. And so, um, In order to do that, it's typically blasting my emo playlist. There you

Bill: 51:18

go. I saw that on one of your recent posts talking about who you were. That was fun. Yeah.

Ryan: 51:23

Um, that was cool. So like, just for me, music is, is very therapeutic for me. Mm-hmm. in multiple ways, um,

Bill: 51:30

brings you to presence, brings you into your body and out of your mind, which usually never shuts up and is always producing thoughts cuz that's, that's what the brain and the mind does. Yeah.

Ryan: 51:40

So being able to just turn that on. Yeah. And like, not think about what I'm gonna

Bill: 51:45

do. Yeah. Shift the energy. So that's, yeah. That's cool. There's something to be said about like, finding methods that work in terms of shifting your energy and allow you to drop into a specific state and be present. And I, music has been very therapeutic for. as well, uh, in terms of, um, bringing me into the moment and eliciting certain emotions and, um, implementing it into my process of being human in different ways. Mm-hmm. I would love to discuss more about the process of building confidence and I'm sure there's some things that maybe don't go so smoothly sometimes and of course not. Um, and it can be hard to not attach to that as something that defines where you're at mm-hmm. in your craft. Um, so like there's this interesting self-awareness process that we all go through with, um, doing things like this. And, and what are some of the practical methods you've implemented in your, your own life? I know you talked about taking action, uh, to continue to develop this confidence. Can you elaborate on that more? Yeah.

Ryan: 52:50

So again, that kind of comes back to really just like the to-do list, but also realizing that the to-do list never ends, which turned into, um, what I teach now is more about methods of prioritization in all aspects. So not just focusing on everything so segmented. Um, you know, you have todo list in life. You have to do list in work, you have to do list in health. Mm-hmm. like, it's finding a way to make it work more like an ecosystem. Um, and so in terms of building confidence, it's very much a stairway and not a jump. Um, it's like anything that requires, um, Mindset changes and things like that. There's, uh, you are the only one in control of how much you can take and understanding your comfortability levels, but also realizing that there are different avenues that you can go in terms of finding your confidence. For me, it was very much establishing my to-do list. So now for me personally as a serial entrepreneur, I have an serial entrepreneur schedule. Mm-hmm. that I abide by and that is like my boundary, it's my segmented times for me to focus on different areas of work cuz I have a lot of things going on, but then also incorporating my life things into there as well. Because without the work and the life working together, I can't even focus on the confidence portion of it. Mm-hmm. I have to be in the right mental state for me to even work on that. And then once I'm in that balanced state, It's again, like trying new things. So, um, I had gone to, um, like a, like a business owner's workshop about a year ago where it was mainly just a, like a networking event kind of thing. And so there was some lecture portions and then you'd got up and you had to talk to like five new people, which of course I was very uncomfortable. I didn't really know my story at the time. I was still working through all of my, um, post job, you know, stress with work. Mm-hmm. making money, surviving, things like that. So I went to this event and just, I ended up meeting new clients, which is like, oh, okay, cool. Like I can do this. It's, it really is a method of just doing things mm-hmm. in different levels of comfortability. So like, that was kind of a big thing. then fast forward to doing workshops in public speaking. Like I had just offered to do a couple events for free and was like, you know, hey, my topics kind of aligned with yours. You kind of look like you need a speaker. Happy to talk on this topic. Um, happy to do it for free, just mm-hmm. you know, I'd love the experience. Yep. And so that was an easy way for me. There was less pressure because Right. It, it was something that I was just volunteering to doing. Um, and from there I now do it as a part of my job.

Bill: 55:57

So there you go. Getting the reps in.

Ryan: 55:59

Definitely that cadence of like small stuff to big stuff. And that's in like every aspect of my life. It's, it's very much a project management mindset, which seems really type a analytical brain, but like it's immensely helped my creative brain be able to function better is when my life. project and task wise, as in order I can be more creative. Mm-hmm. which then again ties into like what I wanna do with freelancers is help them figure out the backend of their business, build more confidence in the work that they're doing. Mm-hmm. own their craft, things like that. So definitely bite size to bigger jumping off

Bill: 56:34

points. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Very wise. Very wise. Yeah. That's cool. It's your personal experience. Exactly. That's the only place you can truly speak wisdom from is like walking the walk and, and doing the things. And, um, what has mentorship looked like for you up to this point? What has self investment in terms of. you know, learning the new skills and, um, I'm sure you've invested in your own coaches potentially. Oh,

Ryan: 57:01

yeah. Yeah. I mean, it, it ranges. Um, I typically go on an as needs basis. Mm-hmm. some people prefer to have somebody there all the time. Um, I also serve as an accountability for some people and vice versa. Mm-hmm. so really symbiotic relationships. Um, I'm very selective with who I talk to, but you, I'm of course, open to a number of opinions and then using. Set of data to create my own opinions. Mm-hmm. about things. Um, but I mean it, yeah, I attend workshops and things for my own benefit. I just did a three day, um, business workshop about defining success and aligning your business strategy to your personal definition of success. That's with, uh, Ray nine and Kylie Peters. For anybody who's interested, she's hosting more this year. Really great for me as a business owner. Um, and as somebody who also teaches that stuff, it's important that I continue to learn. Um, I don't think learning ever stops, and that's something I feel very passionate about in my own career, in my own life, is that I'll never stop learning. Things are always changing, so, um, Yeah, I think just a range of experiences in terms of how I attain those mentorships or those, um, areas for information. Mm-hmm. I also read a lot Now. I used to not read like at

Bill: 58:27

all Yeah. I, I'm so, uh, inconsistent with my reading practice or I experience inconsistency with it. Um, at the beginning of the year I was like, I'm gonna read a book every month. Yep. And that was just too much. Same. I read one book, I did it, whatever. And, and then I've. explored outside of, you know, what I thought was a solid reading strategy, which was like reading every single damn page of the book from cover to cover, which provides its benefit and value. But, um, at this point it's like keeping it loose and, and dedicating myself to like two days a week of reading. Mm-hmm. or just reading what I feel inspired, keeping a book on me. Yep. And not feeling, uh, obligated to read it from cover to cover to obtain value from it. And that the most important part for me is when I see something of value, how can I implement that right away into my life? Mm-hmm. Cause if I'm just like letting it linger in my mind as thoughts and information, it doesn't really add any value to my life. And it's just me, like basically consuming content as totally entertainment and not something as like a tool that's gonna benefit me and improve my life and my lifestyle and, and things like that. So yeah, the implementation variable, um, in terms of reading, Yeah. And

Ryan: 59:40

for me it was realizing that I'm a terrible, like just quiet reader, I have to also have the audible version. Mm-hmm. on.

Bill: 59:49

Oh, I like that method too. I haven't, I've, I, I have, yeah. I, so I've read or I saw somewhere, um, somebody mentioned Get, having the audible and then reading along in the book. Yep. Cause I'm not a huge fan of like, reading straight from the book myself. And it's, it's, I just find a challenge in comprehending mm-hmm. and, um, really like, in taking information a way that I understand it. And obviously like some books, it's just like, there's levels in terms of communication and, and how people relay concepts. And some things are really dense and it takes a while to wrap your head around. Um, but that's a method I heard about that was like, that makes a lot of sense, And that's, that's dope.

Ryan: 1:00:31

Yeah. It's my, I, I mean, being an overthinker, I. Drift when I read. So like, yeah, being able to like focus all of my senses, many moving parts, Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that's been really helpful too. I've, I've really come to enjoy reading. Mm-hmm. I think I was just so adverse to it prior because I couldn't focus on it. Yep. Um, but yeah,

Bill: 1:00:52

reading's great. Yeah. And, um, yeah. Thanks for sharing your process on what, like your. uh, journey with furthering your education and continuing to sharpen the sort of your skills and, and mentorship and, and things along these lines. I think that's a really important point to hit on. And a lot of people are like, why would I ever need a coach? You know, like, I can go on Google and whatever. Even coaches need coaches. Exactly. Coaches out of anyone should have coaches. If they're leading people, they, they should be working with someone that is a little further along or more developed in whatever it is they're seeking, uh, guidance on. And I remember my, you know, growing up here, like life coaches, transformative coaches mm-hmm. stuff like that. And like, that's a strange concept. Why would I need anyone to like, help me with living my life? I mean, if you wanted to learn a specific skill, say in fitness or like work on your health, like a nutrition, you'd work with a nutritionist you'd work with. Mm-hmm. a trainer of course. And then, I mean there's, uh, you know, an infinite amount of things you can learn within life and an infinite amount of things to improve within the art of living. So it's the same thing, just applying to like things outside of things. We more commonly known as, uh, people to be seeking guidance for and. Yeah, my first introduction to coach, that was like a bit turned off by, I'm like, why would I really, why would I want, why would I ask this person for, why would I pay this person to gimme this information? But it's so much more than, um, I thought it was, and yeah, it was really helpful for me, like right off the bat, working with one of my buddies, Ryan Sprague, and, and he had different strategies and techniques in terms of creating more clarity, more self-awareness and things like that. And it just led to so many more opportunities for me. And then of course, the accountability factor. Mm-hmm. and things along these lines. And yeah, it's, uh, it can be quite the challenge to remain self-accountable. And when you have like another mind in the mix that like knows like, oh, I agreed to do this thing with this person. Yeah. Uh, it's, it's helpful in a lot of ways. So if anyone's on the fence about mentorship, it's like, you know, these investments return tenfold most of the time. Mm-hmm. So it's, it's usually a worthwhile endeavor. Um, not to

Ryan: 1:03:06

mention, I felt like it's. it's sped up my progress. It's um, without the other person there, like me just handling it myself, I have my own bias that keeps me from doing things. So having a coach or the other person there to just reflect what I'm saying and have a really broken down conversation about what I'm actually saying. Cuz sometimes words don't come out right. And so having somebody there to like dig a little bit deeper into what I was trying to figure out, I was actually heading in the wrong direction kind of thing. Mm-hmm. Um, so to have somebody else there to help you understand yourself, it's again kind of like therapy and yeah. That's goes back to also like therapists need their own therapists. Mm-hmm. bless their souls. Then

Bill: 1:03:55

I wouldn't trust a therapist that hasn't like, sought out some sort of, oh man. Professional guidance from, I mean, there's just levels to the game of like mm-hmm. understanding and knowing oneself, and there's people out there that are just, they have done so much internal work that, um, yeah. It's just, it's interesting to work with people that see things in a much more truthful, clear way. And, and what that can result in, in terms of your own awareness and the nuggets and pearls you can derive from, you know, simply people sharing words with you and reflections based off of, you know, what's coming out of your own mind and, and you sharing with them. Um, and yeah, I mean, it's, it's, yeah, it's a lot different than just communicating with a friend or asking mm-hmm. for help from a friend. Sometimes maybe your friend's a coach. So maybe it's a little different there.

Ryan: 1:04:50

But there's, again, I work on, uh, information gathering research basis, and then I make my own. Opinions following that. Mm-hmm. I like to see everybody's sides of things. Yeah. Um, you know, I consider myself very much an empath, so I can relate to a lot of different scenarios. Mm-hmm. and very much a devil's advocate. Yeah. True. So to, I think there's a lot of value in having your friends that you console in and vice versa, but then also having professionals that you console in as well. Mm-hmm.

Bill: 1:05:22

True that. What are you, um, okay. Um. What are you feeling most excited about in terms of your work currently? I know there's probably some things you can't fully disclose, like you were talking about before.

Ryan: 1:05:36

Um, I think right now it's just being able to actually focus on my business. I think I've been just for so long just doing work for clients that now I'm at a point where like I'm starting to do really fun things that I've wanted to do for a while. Mm-hmm. um, you know, public speaking, being one of them. I'm putting a lot of time and energy into that this year. Um, and so I think I'm just really excited to. give people those light bulb moments. Yeah. even in just like one-on-one conversations. Um, you know, most people, which I'm very gracious that they share their thoughts and feelings with me, but after I leave a lot of conversations with people, they'll just send me a text after and be like, that was like, I needed that. Yeah. And just to hear that is just self-fulfilling for me.

Bill: 1:06:23

true. That, yeah. That's, that's like, that's just a transmission of love. It's just, yeah. You're sharing love, you're cultivating love and, um, you're, you're spreading light, which is really cool. And that's, that's definitely a mission I'm on, is to, um, to. You know, share information and, and practices and, and energy with people and to help them come to that place of love within themselves and that positive energy and that hope and that connection, that interconnection. I would say that's my ultimate goal is to like stoke the interconnection of myself and then share that with the world in the various ways I feel called to in terms of my creativity, whether it's art or you know, the holistic wellness workshops that we host, the podcasting, the conversations, because yeah, a lot of people are going through it, including myself, you know, life's a freaking wild journey, and, um, we need people right now on the forefronts. D delving deep into themselves doing that healing work. Um, and then through that, finding the clarity to know what their gifts are, because we all have our mm-hmm. unique fingerprint and a lot of the times it just takes, you know, the right lifestyle design to really tap into what that like unique creative power is. And then from there it's just connecting with the right people and taking the steps forward to share it with the world and to continue to develop it and stay connected in that space. So it's, uh, I know that that's exactly what you're doing. Yeah. It's really cool to see. And I love, like I said at the beginning of the episode, it's so fun to and so powerful to see people from our small town cedarburg just like sending it, just fully sending it. I

Ryan: 1:08:04

love it. Especially like with this year being, you know, supposedly our 10 year anniversary. Oh,

Bill: 1:08:09

I know, right. Which is also crazy. It's crazy. I'm excited. I'm gonna go to the 10 year Yeah. Reunion. Anniversary. our anniversary's coming up guys. Yeah. If you're listening to this and we went to high school with, if you're in our class, we better see you there.

Ryan: 1:08:24

Um, but there's something you said too about the right people. I think that was a big, pivotal thing for me the last quarter is just I didn't realize I was in the wrong rooms

Bill: 1:08:38

Yep. For so

Ryan: 1:08:39

long. Yep. And to now be with the right people and talking to the right people and realizing that I have the power to decline something that's not in alignment. Whoa.

Bill: 1:08:55

new concept. No, I, um, I mean, shit, it's hard to not like coddle people and like you said, you're an empathic person. Mm-hmm. So an empathetic and you feel people so like to set boundaries for like the greater good of everyone, which is ultimately the greater good. of yourself. Usually that's, that's challenging. So like to decline people, sometimes that's rejection on their end. It means, you know, whatever emotional process they have to go through. And it's, it's challenging to say no. Yeah. It's

Ryan: 1:09:22

challenging to say no, but then to also realize the right people to say yes to. Um, I think again, just coming from a place of like, doing so much work all the time and deciding, I think sometimes like I get a little, like, I don't know what to do, kind of mode. Yeah. Um, but I think yeah, within the last quarter, just realizing that I, you know, it's funny as a marketer myself, like I was almost marketing to the wrong crowd. Mm-hmm. And so now that I'm very clear on my vision and my business and talking to the right people. Yeah. Like I'm stoked

Bill: 1:10:01

Yeah. That's challenging. It's, I mean, for me it's been like, I'm carving my path and wellness cuz that's what my heart truly wants and that's what I most enjoy and gives me the most energy. And it's like, where am I going? Like, what exactly is my vision? And um, I know it's a malleable thing. Mm-hmm. and it's like mm-hmm. continually shape shifting and, and things like that. And, and that's, I, yeah. There's like, I know there's a lot of different methods of, you know, ironing and defining what that is. Mm-hmm. um, it's, it's hard to like settle on something and I feel like right now it's like, I'm just like an exploration phase doing some field research and putting myself out there, pressing different buttons and stuff like that. And, and seeing what, what feels good and, and slowly it's, it's starting to come together. But yeah, it's like also very scary with, um, you know, me wanting to start to, well, which I am doing. It's scary to. Let go of who I was and move into who I am. Mm-hmm. who I know I am, and who I want to become. Um, with the transition from jewelry into wellness, which I love jewelry and, and this is a conversation for another day, but just on the topic of, of vision and figuring out where I'm going. That's, that's a challenging process. Oh,

Ryan: 1:11:21

totally. Yeah. I mean, it's shedding an old identity. Yeah, exactly. Um, I've gone through that a couple times now. The

Bill: 1:11:28

snake shedding its skin. pretty much. Yeah. But. That's cool. Yeah, that's, that's fun to embrace the, like, to connect to that energy because we know, we know what it is the next steps are. It's just are we willing to let go and, and are we willing to practice letting go and develop that, um, skill of continuing to follow what is our joy, what is our bliss, what fully excites me? And then, yeah, there's a lot more that goes into it, obviously, like you're a strategist and a consultant so you guide people through these processes of like, you know, what are the, uh, the frameworks and, you know, the logisticals and like, what is like a actual, um, structure we can utilize here to move into these things and, and do it in a way where you're not like, you know, burning yourself out and, and maintaining yourself.

Ryan: 1:12:19

So, yeah. But I mean, also it doesn't help for me to do any of that without the passion. So like what you're doing in terms of like testing things and experimenting, like that's, I would argue the most important part cuz if you're not behind it, then what? Anything I am gonna help you figure out doesn't matter.

Bill: 1:12:38

Yeah, yeah. And that's, that's a great point. I, uh, I had a opportunity to work with a consulting company in developing a, an online educational jewelry program, like full scale. Mm-hmm. um, thing, uh, where they, like, I pay them a large sum of money. They build out the whole thing. They ask me specific questions, stuff like that. It would've been hugely successful. It would've brought me a ton of money, but the passion wasn't there. And I had an experience that brought me to this realization where like, I was on the cusp of saying yes to this thing. Cause I was like, well, it'll be great and I'll, and I'll make like a lot more money and I will enjoy it. Yeah. But it's not, my heart isn't fully in it and I recognize that. And I was like, Hey man, that's what I realized last night. Like, sorry, I, you know, I didn't say sorry, I was just like, this is where I'm at. And, and I like, I really appreciate your time and everything, you know, you've provided me and stuff like that. And, um, So yeah, that was one thing that, um, I forget exactly why I started talking about that, but just the passion. The passion, yeah. Yep. Yeah. And, and recognizing that, realizing my passion was somewhere else. Um, and that's

Ryan: 1:13:41

okay. Mm-hmm.

Bill: 1:13:42

too. Like it's good. It's good. It's very okay.

Ryan: 1:13:44

Everything. I feel like life is never a linear path. There's always forks on the road and you get to choose your own adventure. So true. Um, just because you said no to that, it's, who knows? Maybe there's something way bigger than my grand are coming. There

Bill: 1:14:00

is. Oh, definitely, definitely. Because yeah, it's just like freedom to me is experiencing joy as much as possible. At least that's part of it. Mm-hmm. and, and like doing things you love on a continual ba basis, doing things that make you happy. And that's one of the most critical aspects of, uh, you know, being healthy and enjoying life sustainably. So, um, Yeah, that's, that's why I followed that, that nudge from like my intuition to not carry out that opportunity and then open myself up to all the other possibilities that are within the realm of wellness. Although it's very scary and because, oh, of course, it's just a new, completely new journey. Like I'm, I'm preparing to, well, I ha I'm in the journey. Um, but like, yeah, there's, there's so many new things to learn. There's so many new ways to put myself out there. Uh, so many ways for me to evolve and to be like a white belt again. That's, you know, it's an intense process. Mm-hmm. it's like, it's a very uncomfortable, I'm like a fish outta water in sort of ways. But yeah, it's powerful cuz I, I get to show myself again what I'm made of and, and what I can do. And I've been through this process so I know I'm capable. It's just am I willing to commit on a daily basis? And, um, yeah. So that's been an interesting process for me. You got it. Oh yeah. Thank you. Um, so I would love for you to let the listeners know, um, you know, anything you wanna promote in terms of workshops or offerings, things along these lines, and then share the social media plugs and any last remaining, uh, words you'd like to share for everyone.

Ryan: 1:15:43

Yeah, so everyone can find me pretty much on any platform at the Design Blonde. Um, I managed to, you know, preserve that on everything, so that was great. There you

Bill: 1:15:55

go. Um, that's surprising.

Ryan: 1:15:56

Yes, and, um, all of my offerings and stuff are mostly up to date on my website. It's, they change from time to time just depending on kind of what I'm feeling or seasonally. Um, but it's just the design blonde.com. Um, I'm really, I love LinkedIn which I know makes people cringe, but, um, that's a really good place to reach out to me if you wanna talk about anything. Um, yeah. Workshop wise, available for hire. Um, same thing with some freelance work. I'm very selective on who I work with now just based on the work that I want to do, which I think is very important for anyone listening. Make sure you're very clear on the work you want to do, but also the work you don't want to do. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, I mean it, we talked about a lot today, so it's, I would love to, if anybody has any questions or further thoughts, They wanna leave them in the comments, like, happy to respond in the comments too. Yeah,

Bill: 1:16:55

dms, dms are open too. Yep. As always for connection, support, uh, inquisition of all sorts. So with that being said, thank you all so much for tuning in and, um, exploring with us and having fun and, and being curious. Um, we will see you next time and love you all. Smooches,