Welcome to Episode 8 of THANKS FOR THINKING, the music business podcast centered around self-reflection and proactivity for thoughtful music production professionals. I’m your host, Carl Bahner.
Today’s topic: how do you want to be remembered when you die?
Before I start - This episode is kind of an unofficial “part two” of episode 7. So if you haven’t listened to that one yet, stop right now and go through those exercises before diving into today's episode. Trust me.
Well, I hope you weren’t expecting an easy episode, because this… this is not that. Maybe I should have opened with “welcome to thanks for thinking, the music business podcast that reminds you about your own fleeting mortality.”
Now, you might be thinking, “Carl, what the f*** man, I thought these reflection exercises were going to help me with my business - you know, like determining my ideal clients and getting over my fear of raising my rates, that kind of thing?”
Well, my response would be - what’s the point of any of that if you don’t have a purpose, a compass that helps inform how you spend the time you’ve got on this earth? You don’t consider someone an ideal client based solely on the fact that they pay your full rate, right? Part of what makes them ideal is the way that they interact with you, the sense of joy you have when working with them, and the sense that the music you make with them will go on to influence the moods and memories of listeners for years to come.
You don’t raise your rates just because you want to make more money. You do it because that extra money will enable more of the things in life that bring you joy. A family vacation. A home to call your own. A solid education for your children. Or maybe even that sweet LEGO set of Jerry Seinfeld’s apartment. I’m not gonna judge.
But understanding the driving forces behind these business decisions is crucial.
I’m not going to tell you what your purpose should be, what your compass should be. Actually, a better way to phrase it may be “purposes” or “compasses” because there might be more than one and not all of them are going to be based upon your business.
But I will say that whether we want to think about these things or not - life is short. And for some, much shorter than others. It’s too short to go down endless YouTube rabbit holes, or to obsess over streaming numbers.
“How do I want to be remembered when I die?” is a question that has been pondered for millennia. To be honest, it used to keep me up at night. Often. I still struggle with understanding and accepting my own mortality, but facing these contemplations head-on has given me a much stronger drive and desire to make the world a slightly better place in whatever ways I can by using the skills, knowledge and perspective that I’ve acquired these last 36 years. This is what drives me into education and mentorship - the belief that I can help other creatives to build more meaningful relationships with their clients and giving them a better quality of life.
Is it solving world hunger? No. But I’m not equipped with the skills, knowledge, and perspective to solve world hunger, and that’s ok.
I like to think I’m better equipped to encourage a healthier culture where producers, engineers, designers, videographers, and really all creatives can make a good living AND feel deeply fulfilled by their art. And who knows - I may not have enough time to achieve it, but I’ll be going down swinging.
I also want to be remembered as a loving husband and father. A caring friend. Someone who gave people second chances. Someone who always tried to help people and do the right thing despite the occasional, or frequent, failure.
There are no right or wrong answers. The important thing is to let your answers guide you through the decisions you make in your career.
Find a comfortable spot without distractions. I’d like you to take the next few minutes to think about your own “purposes” or “compasses.”
Today's reflection question is: “what’s my favorite pizza topping?”
Ok sorry I had to break the tension just a little bit, because we’re only a few minutes into this episode and the really hard part is just getting started.
Don’t go into this expecting to come to any definitive revelations in one day, let alone in the four or five minute-long sections of focus music. Besides, these compasses will probably shift and adapt over time. They will shift and adapt over time. I can tell you from my personal experience that my purposes and my compasses that drive me - they’ve changed many times and a pretty big example is when we found out we were having a child. A lot of the things that mattered to me so much when I was younger just didn’t matter anymore and that’s ok. That’s healthy.
Ok, so for real this time, today's reflection question is: How do I want to be remembered when I die? And are my habits, actions and priorities setting me up to achieve it?
I’ll be back in a few minutes.
If you need more time, hit pause and come back when you’re ready. But again, don’t feel pressured to have all the answers right away. Honestly, if you feel 100% certain about your answers then I’d argue that you may not have dug deep enough.
Maybe you have one answer, or maybe you have a few. Maybe you feel like some of them might contradict each other. Like I said - this isn’t easy.
But let’s take what we’ve learned about ourselves and apply it.
For today’s action item, all you’ll need is a word processor, or a pen and paper.
Today’s action item is: write down the answers from your last exercise and for each answer, write down one thing you can do this week to move you closer to achieving those goals.
This list will be incredibly personal to you, so I’m not going to rattle off a list of examples like I normally would at this stage. But that said, I recommend thinking small and simple. Baby steps in the right direction are better than standing still.
Alright, time to get started. I’ll be back in a few minutes.
If you need more time, hit pause and come back when you’re ready.
Thanks again for sticking with me, and I’m proud of you for going through some pretty intense thought exercises today. They were not easy and I wouldn’t blame you if you need to step away and process everything that’s gone through your head in the past fifteen minutes.
But, once you're ready for more, I’d recommend revisiting episode 7 about the currencies of self-worth. And even if you recently listened to that episode and did those exercises, I think you may find that the currencies you want to use may be a little different now.
I hope you learned something about yourself today. Maybe it was something small, or maybe it was a significant revelation. As far as I’m concerned, any growth in your self-awareness enhances both your business and your life.
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share this with someone you feel would benefit from exercises like these. You can join the Discord Community using the link in the show notes, connect with me on social media at @carlbahner and @thanksforthinkingpodcast, or reach out directly to info@carlbahner.com
Until next time - Thanks for thinking.