Welcome to Episode 10 of THANKS FOR THINKING, the music business podcast centered around self-reflection and proactivity for thoughtful music production professionals. I’m your host, Carl Bahner.
Today’s topic - when fears and passions collide
When I say that the idea for this podcast came to me in a “COVID fever-dream,” I’m really only half-joking. I was in isolation last month when I came up with this bizarro idea of merging a music business podcast with guided self-reflection exercises.
I'm pretty sure that while I was going stir-crazy in isolation, the little part of my brain that usually says “no, don’t do that, that’s scary” must’ve been broken… because otherwise I never would have considered hosting a podcast, for a number of reasons. For one, it’s a lot of work to develop meaningful episodes… even when half of the runtime is instrumental music anyway.
But the main reason I never considered hosting a podcast was because I’ve always had a fear of public speaking. Now that may come as a surprise, even if you’re a close friend of mine - because this isn’t something I’ve talked about much in the past. I’m incredibly self-conscious about the way that I talk - not so much the sound of my voice, but how I tend to talk really really really fast when I’m passionate about a topic. For better and for worse, I spend a lot of time talking about the things that I’m passionate about. So, my thoughts move too quickly and my words have a hard time keeping up.
This fear of public speaking is really an extension of my fear that people will think that I have nothing important to say. That they’ll think I’m inarticulate. That they’ll think I’m boring. Or that they’ll think I’m a fraud.
I’ll be totally honest and say that I still feel kinda icky telling people I’m a “business coach” because good LORD that title has basically become synonymous with “scammy internet guru” and unfortunately that’s a pretty fair comparison these days.
But all of these reasons that I fear speaking in public? Well, they’re at war with my passion for teaching, with my passion for helping other creatives to feel more fulfilled in their careers.
It was a peaceful time when I was a touring drummer because my fear was never about being on stage. Stage fright wasn’t really a thing for me. But, in hindsight, I think that’s why I was always an instrumentalist - I could just sit behind my drum set, make a whole lot of noise, but keep my mouth shut.
So when I was in isolation, reevaluating my goals and priorities, I came to the realization that I could help more people and create a bigger impact if I shared my experiences and philosophies publicly.
So, I had to make a choice:
I could face this fear and push through the discomfort, knowing that launching this podcast could enable me to help many, many more people than just one-on-one conversations…
Or, I could just keep being comfortable. Limited. Content. Business as usual, but knowing that eventually, I’ll look back at this time of my life and regret not making a bigger impact when presented with the opportunity.
So like I said - I'm glad that the “no, don’t do that” part of my brain was short-circuiting that lonely December day, because otherwise you wouldn’t be listening to me right now. And even if you only get one tiny, itty bitty nugget of clarity or inspiration out of this podcast, then that’s already a much bigger impact than I would’ve made if I decided to stay comfortable. If I kept my mouth shut.
Now I’m 10 episodes in, and it’s surprisingly been a life-changing experience for me. Even if nobody listens to this podcast, I know that I’m pushing through the fear, pushing through the discomfort and I’m pretty f***ing proud of that.
Find a comfortable spot without distractions. I’d like you to spend the next few minutes thinking about yours fears, anxieties, or mental obstacles that have stopped you from making the most of a creative passion.
Today’s reflection question is: what fears are at war with my passions? And what would my life look like if I let those fears win?
Maybe you want to create content to help artists, but you’re afraid that you’ll sound dumb or boring. Maybe you want to release a solo album but you’re afraid that nobody will listen. Maybe you need to connect with more potential clients but you’re afraid of cold outreach. Or maybe you want to work with bigger clients but you’re afraid they’re “out of your league.”
The purpose of this exercise is to recognize and verbalize those fears, and not focusing on finding solutions quite yet. We don’t want to “put the cart before the horse” so to speak.
So once again, today’s reflection question is: what fears are at war with my passions? And what would my life look like if I let those fears win?
I’ll be back in a few minutes.
If you need more time, hit pause and come back when you’re ready.
I hope you were able to find some clarity about the fears, anxieties, and obstacles that have been getting in the way of propelling your career forward.
For me, my fear of public speaking was at odds with my passion for helping. I wanted to reach more people. And I knew that the only way to reach more people was to find a platform and format that enabled me to reach more people. Launching this podcast was the action I chose to take.
Obviously, your answers will be unique to you, but you’ll probably need a combination of actions and accountability.
I knew that I would be tempted into procrastinating, or maybe even tempted to quit before I even started. So I intentionally told a bunch of friends and peers that I would be launching this podcast just two weeks after that initial “fever dream”.
I wasn’t bragging, or begging them to listen. I was telling them because I needed accountability. And one of the few things I fear worse than public speaking is being seen as flakey by my friends and peers. So, I decided to wield one of my fears as a weapon for the greater good.
I mentioned earlier that the purpose of that exercise was not to worry about finding solutions quite yet.
Well, the time to begin that process is now.
So, let’s take what we learned and apply it.
To complete today’s action item, all you’ll need is a word processor or a pen and paper.
During that exercise, maybe only one fear came to mind. Or maybe you felt bombarded by a whole bunch of em. For today, pick just one of those fears - the biggest one - and focus on that.
Today’s action item is: write down the biggest fear that is at war with your creative passions, and write down the actions you can take that will enable you to overcome that fear.
Alright, time to get started. I’ll be back in a few minutes.
If you need more time, hit pause and come back when you’re ready.
Obviously, your answers will be unique to you, but you’ll probably need a combination of actions and accountability.
For me, the fear was public speaking… the action I chose was launching this podcast and committing to doing 36 episodes… and my accountability was telling my friends and peers that I was gonna do it.
I also added another layer of accountability right now by publishing this episode and admitting to you that I’m committed to doing another 26 episodes. It’s not just friends and peers anymore, it’s all of you.
Some people can successfully hold themselves accountable in times like these. And in the past, I’ve had a hard time holding myself accountable, I’ll admit that. That is definitely a personality trait that I’ve been working on, but at least I’m self-aware enough to know that I thrive under external pressure.
If you’re like me and you think having an accountability buddy may help you, come join the Thanks For Thinking Podcast Community on Discord - the link’s in the show notes. It’s still a pretty small group, but everyone in it wants to see each other win. And I hope to see you there.
I hope you learned something about yourself today. Maybe it was something small, or maybe it was a significant revelation. As far as I’m concerned, any growth in your self-awareness enhances both your business and your life.
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share this with someone you feel would benefit from exercises like these. You can join the Discord Community using the link in the show notes, connect with me on social media at @carlbahner and @thanksforthinkingpodcast, or reach out directly to info@carlbahner.com
Until next time - Thanks for thinking.