Marijanel Show

Why I've Only Kissed One Man (Ever!!!)

• Marijanel Knight

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055. Do you believe me? I've only kissed one man in my life.

It's not because I'm not curious or that I don't want to try new things...I'm Curiosity's Apprentice after all. Here in this episode I'll tell you why I've only kissed one person and how I actually feel about it.

Have I missed out? Do I get bored? I'll tell you the truth.

I'll also give my top kissing tips compared to internet advice and how to teach your person what you want in a kiss. Is kissing an art and can someone learn it how you like it?

After 28 years of marriage I've learned it's never too late to show your partner what kind of kisses work best for you, even if it feels funny to do it.

I'll also share two incredible stories of extreme kindness that will blow your mind. Both stories are about a person who never puts himself in the spotlight and who makes it possible for others to shine. Not only will your heart be warmed and prompted toward acts of kindness but you will feel inspired to look for those qualities in the people you align your life with.

Who you spend time with Is who you become.

I've learned some valuable life lessons from watching my husband gold pan. You'll be deeply inspired to hear the connection I've made between wading through icy rivers and digging in the dirt for gold in the literal sense, and how metaphorically our lives require that kind of perseverance and patience to get to the true value.

You'll come away from today entertained with new kissing techniques and inspired to look for gold in your life and relationships

You can follow my favourite goldpanner on instagram @bcgoldhunter

My YouTube Videos that compliment this podcast are:

Random Acts of Kindness That Will Blow Your Mind

Discover the Value in Life!


00:00:00 Intro To the New Show 00:01:59 The Book's Not Bad 00:04:07 Happy Birthday to my Husband 00:07:59 How to Teach your Partner to Kiss 00:10:11 Practice Practice Practice 00:14:23 Incredible Stories of Kindness 00:16:56 Taking a Shirt Off for a Friend 00:19:12 What's a Heart of Gold? 00:24:18 Adventures in Gold Panning? 00:27:35 Believing for the Outcome 00:3 20 Blessing and Closing





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Marijanel Knight:

Hi there and welcome to the Marijanel show formerly known as Curiosity's Apprentice. The first 50 episodes of this podcast were dedicated to me sharing my stories through audio. I called myself Curiosity's Apprentice because I followed my curiosity and creativity through life, learning a whole lot of difficult and interesting lessons along the way, and leaving me with a lot of crazy stories to tell. With the start of the new year, the show has had a remix in a shake up and is now the Marijanel show. Hi, everyone, I'm Marijanel. And my show is all about living creative, through intuition and adventure, about taking risks and being your own unique individual. I'm here to inspire you to be who you were created to be in living creative. So let's get to it.

Marijanel:

Welcome to the Marijanel show all of my audio listeners, thanks for being here in this new remix of the show. So as a little recap, to get started, I just want to mention that I actually got my kids book delivered, I've held a real copy in my hands. I know all of you audio listeners have been listening all year as I've shared the joys and the woes of becoming a self publisher of a children's book. And here's something that I realized we creatives can easily get over our creative outcomes before they're even truly finished. So here's me, I finally, after all, the hassle of getting my children's book, uploaded and printed and ordered, which was actually the hardest part of the whole experience for me. I finally got the copy in my hand. And I have to say, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's kind of funny to say it that way. But I was expecting some kind of visual issue to jump out at me me to catch a mistake, a spelling error, something about the illustration that I was unhappy with. And the truth is none of that none of that's a problem. And so I was holding it in my hand and I'm like, Hey, this is actually good. This is not bad. And yet, I was kind of over it. I snapchatted, a friend about my book, I showed her the cover of the book. And I was like, Yeah, I'm over it. That's a creative person for Yeah. So I will share with you more about the book and a little bit more hopefully sounding a little more excited about it next week.

Marijanel Knight:

But I don't want to dilly dally. I want to get on with the show today. I've got a lot to say. And I've got a few really special things to say a very special person to honor today. This past week, I've actually been away from home. I was on set filming an online class production with bold school. So I got to hang out with professionals all week, it was so much fun. Some of the crew have a long history in the film industry and their cameras are way bigger than mine way fancier than mine. These are guys that can become one with their camera and create the most amazing visuals. And I got to soak that in and I also got to be the director. So that means I said cuts all week. And saying cut and having the crew you know jump to your command is so much fun. Everyone's got to experience that once in a while. And then I came back to my studio at the end of the week. And I've been rearranging all my podcast gear and trying to get set up because I knew I needed to tackle this show.

Marijanel:

So while I was gone, my husband really missed me a friend messaged me and said, I think he misses you. He keeps asking your daughter when she's coming home. And anyway, I bugged him about it a little and he said, No, no, no, I just been a good dad checking in on things. I'm like, Yeah, you were lonely. You missed me. He's a big softy. But he doesn't want to admit it that he missed me. And I just want to take this moment on the show. To wish Steve a really happy birthday. Today is his 55th birthday. He's almost 10 years older than me and we've been together for 28 years. We've been married for 28 years this coming June 2023. I married him on my 17th birthday. I've mentioned that in the past episodes. That's right. It was only 1994 And even though it was very unusual for a 17 year old to get married way back then in 99 or my kids call 9090 for the olden days. So yes, I got married young in the olden days. And it was so old fashioned enough that my dress was puffed sleeves. Funny enough, the sweater that I'm wearing, you'll see it in YouTube is also puffed sleeves. And that just goes to show that was what was in the in the 90s is coming back round again, whether we like it or not, okay. And I'm kind of forcing myself at times to go with it. You know, the whole puff sleeve thing is back and I'm like, okay, just go with it. You can handle that better than some of the other trends of the 90s that you're like, Why? Why would I want to do that? Why do I want to wear crocs? Again? Crocs weren't 90s. But they're back again. And I'm like, why would I want to wear those? I've been there done not I don't want to wear them, even if you put fur or glitter on them. I saw them in winners A little while back. And I was like, no, no, no, I can't I can't do that

Marijanel Knight:

Okay, I got a little bit off the point. But I again. just want to say happy birthday, Steve. Happy 55th I hope it's the best day ever. And I have no regrets that you are the only man I've kissed. That's right. That might surprise some of my followers and listeners that I've only kissed one man. I'm 46 year old woman. And you might ask me, Do you have any regrets? Are you curious? Because I do call myself Curiosity's Apprentice. And here's the thing. I have not even been curious one little bit. I think sometimes there's an inborn wisdom or a knowing that something is right and good and not needing to go searching for something different. And that's how it is. With Steve, I have never felt the need to search for something different. He is not only enough for me, but perfect for me. And it doesn't mean everything's perfect in our marriage or relationship. It just means I know that he's perfect for me. And I don't think about looking elsewhere, or experiencing other lips. And you know, they say that the average woman will kiss 22 people before they find the one. And I kissed the one and just I've kept the one. And that's perfect for me. It's not everyone's experience, but I'm really happy that it's my experience. And I'm not curious to have it otherwise, interestingly.

Marijanel:

So you might think that because I've only kissed one person that I might not have a lot of kissing advice. But here's the thing, I might not be able to offer a lot of advice on the variety of kissing, you know different people and getting to know different people. But I can tell you from having just one partner that it's possible to teach them how to kiss how you want to be kissed. Okay? Because when Steve and I were young, the kissing was much more passionate and tender. Has we've aged as aging happens and none of us can find it and none of us can reverse time. As we've aged, our kissing has turned more into like, just like nice little affectionate pecs, which are great. I like affectionate pecs. And Steve being the goofy, easygoing personality that he is he can do this thing you know, 28 years of marriage in where he just kind of makes weird kisses like weird kissing noises like

Marijanel Knight:

Sorry, audio listeners, I apologize if that's a little loud in your ears. But here's the thing I have to teach, and reteach my husband, the only man I've ever kissed How to Kiss. Alright, I have to direct him saying things like, hey, no weird noises just Kiss Me Tender. No big puckers. Just soft lips. Just soften your lips and kiss me like you mean it. And he does. And we have great kisses. But I'm just saying all this to say that if there's any kissing advice that I can offer, is that you might have thought you found the perfect kisser. And you give your life to them. And 28 years later, they get older, and they start to pucker weird and make weird noises and you just have to turn them into the perfect kisser over and over again.

Marijanel:

And I want to say there's hope to teach them. Yes. So I am in the stage of life where I'm reteaching my husband How to Kiss So happy birthday, Steve. You know, I just gotta say, Well, I'm on the subject. I did Google how to teach a guy How to Kiss better. And I found a list of steps. It's It's funny, it made me laugh, I found a list of steps, how to teach your man to kiss, and one of them caught my eye. And it's this practice. Yes, it's so true for everything in life, not just kissing, it's like number one thing was to practice. And I preach that in all realms of creativity and all the arts, I say, practice, practice, practice. If you've ever heard me over on the Bold Artist Podcast, my co host and I, we talk about practice all the time, daily practice the importance of practice, and that you don't become good at anything without practice. And so it also goes for kissing. Now, here's the thing is that just like anything, you have to learn the technical skills first, okay, so it's just like with, with kissing, you gotta both partners, they gotta learn the technical skills, then you can add your own touches. It's just like art. So kissing really is an art. And the second thing, when I Googled, when I Googled, I actually Googled the words, can someone become a better kisser? And it's, it's that here's the thing to become a better kisser, they recommend not only practicing, but to, to go slow. Okay? Isn't that another picture of life, to practice, and to go slow. So those are some big lessons that Marijanel can bring to you. That not only apply to kissing, but in all of life, to practice and slow down, practice and slow down.

Marijanel Knight:

So for Steve's 55th birthday, I just wanted to take a couple minutes and share with my audience a few things that I think you're really going to appreciate, stick around. Because there are some things we can learn from this man, not just the, you know, practice and slow down part of kissing. But there are some things about the life of this man that have deeply impacted me as a person not only made me proud to be his wife. But you see, first of all, many people see me in a spotlight of sorts, whether it be here on my audio or video platform. But in other realms of my life, whether I'm directing or creating people see me in a spotlight. But what they don't realize is that without Steve, I wouldn't have been able to achieve 80% of all my the endeavors in my life, because he's not only believed in me, he's put into action, the belief he's by by empowering and investing in me, he has done it in the most humble way without seeking his own attention. And there's a saying, okay, you've probably heard it before the saying that says Behind every successful man stands a woman, which in a lot of cases is true, but in my case, it's reverse. Behind what people see, as a successful woman, there stands a man named Steve, who's pretty much making a lot of things possible. And it's usually the hard stuff, the grunt work, so to speak, the techie stuff, the things that are not my giftings. And I can't be more thankful for his support. And I feel like, you know, people look at what I do, and they will see things that say things like Marijanel, you're so talented, but what they don't realize is the Steve is equally if not more talented in a lot of the same realms as I am. He's neck and neck with me as a photographer, he is we both play guitar, we, we both have skills that are up, you know, up there, and he's neck and neck and yet it takes a true servant heart to let your partner shine. And that's what he does for me. And so I'd say that through all of my creative endeavors and pursuits, I've gotten that guy into more situations, we'll call them sticky situations than I'd really like to admit he has paid truly paid the price of all my trial and errors in the arts and living life asCuriosity's Apprentice.

Marijanel:

And honestly, he rarely complains about it. You know, once in a while, once in a while, he'll hear a little complaint here and there. But for the most part, he just so pleasantly pleasantly partners with me in life and helps to see my dreams come true. You know, there are two memories that stick out to me that I want to tell you because it's going to blow your your mind really about what kind of guy my husband is, but I think it's also going to help you to start to see that kind of quality In other people, and that it's the little things that really matter so I have this memory and actually both memories I want to tell you involve driving. But there was a day we were driving on a winter, winter afternoon and we came to a corner where we saw a man on a motorized scooter carts, you know, those little carts that you drive around with wheels, usually because you're impaired to walk in some form or another. So he's this man was on a motorized scooter cart. And he got stuck in the snow and we could see him stuck, not able, like we saw him long enough, we could see he's not able to reverse or go forward and he wasn't really able to stand up out of the car and help himself. And suddenly without realizing what was going on. Our vehicle was pulled over at the corner, it was put in park with flashing lights on and the driver's door left open and Steve had leaped over a snowbank and lifted the man scooter out of the snow to get him unstuck. He didn't even have time to chat he pretty much leaped over the snowbank unstuck him out of the snow said There you go have a good day and hopped back in our vehicle and kept driving. It all happened so fast. It was a split second and I kept thinking whoa. I'm married to a man who is that thoughtful, kind and spontaneous that he would just leap over a snowbank out of a movie out of a car out of a parked car, leap over snowbank, and in a split second help a stranger and to the man on the scooter I think about this to the man on a scooter Steve must have seemed to appear like some sort of snow angel in a blizzard like it just kind of happens so fast, like poof, this man came and lifted him out of the snow predicament. And I often think what a whirlwind rescue that was. And I'm sure the man has remembered the gesture for all of his days.

Marijanel Knight:

And then another time, which also involves driving, I witnessed my husband literally give the shirt off his back. You've heard that saying, uh, you know, he's so nice. He'd give you the shirt off his back. Well, this is this is a true story. Okay. Steve doesn't love to go shirtless. You need to understand this in order to kind of, you know, digest the sacrifice he made. He doesn't really like to go shirtless, even at the beach. I mean, we are fair skinned, as you can see on YouTube. Both of us are fair skin. And you know, he doesn't go shirtless. It's just not a thing. So even at the beach, he's usually got something covering. Well, our friend who lives about 30 minutes away from our town had to make an emergency rushed trip to the hospital, which was about five minutes from our home. And this friend rushed there in this like, urgent situation without putting a shirt on. And we were texting and said, Is there anything we can do for you, not knowing he didn't have a shirt, and he answered us that he had no shirt. And at the time that all this was happening, we were driving by the parking lot of the hospital. And I just remember that rather than going home to get our friend a shirt Steve pulled in to the hospital right in front of the emergency room doors where our friend had parked and was like dealing with the urgency of the situation. And Steve got out, took off his shirt and gave it to our friend. There was no time to talk. There was no time to exchange pleasantries it was it was emergent situation and see pretty much took off his shirt, give it to our friends so that he wasn't running around the hospital shirtless. And he got back into the vehicle. Steve did and we went home and he put on another shirt. And I kept thinking again, wow, I have a man. I'm married to a guy that would take the shirt off his back for a friend. And I mean, that's that thing had to come from somewhere that you take the shirt off his back for you. And if it didn't come from somewhere it does now. And these two stories I just told you, they might amount to like five or 10 minutes of our 28 years together. I've spent all of these years with this guy. And those were just five or 10 minutes that are alike a little sliver to tell you what kind of heart he has.

Marijanel:

He's the kind who's just like ready to help and serve and he's like a rock to the whole family. The kids you know, where's Dad? Dad is the rock and we really rely on him. And I remember a time that I was driving home in the rain. All my stories have to do with driving today. I was driving home in the rain from a particularly long on production day, I can't quite remember what I was up to. But I know I had my camera gear and a vehicle full of stuff like tables and props and all kinds of stuff. And I needed to unload but I was exhausted. And I was backing into the driveway, it was dark out, I was backing into the driveway, and I saw a shadow step out from the shadows of the garage. And it was Steve. And as I cut the engine, he was already opening my trunk to unload for me, I didn't even have to ask, I didn't even have to go in the house and hope that someone would help me. He was already there opening the trunk before I'd even gotten out of the vehicle. That's the kind of man he is and that kind of man is hard to come by.

Marijanel Knight:

And that's the kind of man that you'll want to continue to kiss. Even if his kisses are goofy. And you got to teach them how it kids all over again. I gotta say this, I've I've shared some really heartwarming stories about who Steve is and the kind of quality person he is. But you know, just gotta throw this in there. He's not perfect. Don't get the idea. I'm married to a perfect man. He's rough around the edges. People can get offended by stuff he says or does he talks a little rough and I often walk behind him in the grocery store and just like apologize to everyone because he makes comments that are you know, just sometimes inappropriate, especially during COVID. When he hated wearing masks, he complained and said a lot of just you know, complaining kind of comments and I'd have to be like, sorry, he doesn't mean it. But his heart is gold. You're gold, and I wouldn't want to go looking or find that anywhere else.

Marijanel:

Okay, so in sharing the Steve has a heart of gold maker. That is not a big surprise to me that his favorite hobby at the moment, ages 53, 54 and now turning 55 has been gold panning. Yes, that's a thing. Guys actually go out in these like hip waders and rubber boots with these pans, and they go in wading into ice cold rivers, at least here in BC. Ice cold rivers digging for gold. When friends and family find out that Steve goes gold panning and not just like an excursion here or there. This guy is like hardcore. Like every weekend, he's out there dig in for gold. And I mean, he doesn't stop, he barely stops to eat. And our friends and family will ask us this question. Does he find gold? Well, it seems like a logical question because people don't even realize how much gold there still is to go panning for or to discover? And the answer is, yes, he finds gold. He comes home with it. He keeps it in these really cute little vials and collects his gold. And so yes, you find gold. And he's found enough in fact that he took some to a jeweler with our son and had our son's wedding band made, which was so incredibly special and sentimental, totally blew everyone away. And he's still has lots of gold leftover. So I guess that says something.

Marijanel Knight:

So the big question is, do I go gold panning with Steve? Not often. So here's the thing that Steve really supports me in most of my creative endeavors. But when it comes to going out into nature in cold and uncomfortable elements, I don't necessarily return all that support. So I'm more of like a fair weather friend. And so yes, I've gone along on a few fair weather excursions, and he goes hand with his buddy. And I sketched and collected bags of moss, which I thought I was going to do a craft with and I never did anything with. And so yes, I've gone out a couple of times, but I have to say, it's not really my thing. But I've learned a lot from watching Steve gold pan. So for those of you who are unfamiliar with a gold panning is a method of extracting gold from the earth where you use a pan and you basically shake away all the dirt, like sieving it through the pan until you're left with just the gold whether that be dust flakes, or nuggets, you never know. And there are ways of learning where to look so it's not just you know, totally haphazard digging, you can learn from watching all or like observing all the different areas and elements of the creek beds and river beds and there's a whole science to it.

Marijanel:

Okay, so I have been observing Steve panning for gold and the patience and strength and determination that it takes to sift and save the gravel and wash all the dirt away to find the value to find the pure gold. And here's what I see in it. We all have a whole lot of dirt in our lives. Okay, we're all we're all just a bunch of gunk, really. But hidden in the dirt hidden in the gunk, there is gold. For every single one of us, there is gold to be found in our lives, there's gold to be found in your life. And it takes a person who's willing to go out believing to go into sifting through the gunk, with faith with belief. And that's what I see in Steve, he yesterday he drove three hours away just for a day trip to dig for gold. And when he sat out in the morning, he didn't know for certain that he was going to come home with anything, he could have come home empty handed, he could have dug all day for nothing. But he said out in faith, believing that there was gold and that he could find it. And he had the patience and persistence. He actually told me that he forgot.. not forgot... he lost his big water bottle and he had to use his life straw and drink from the river. He's quite, you know, quite the hardcore man out there. He should go on like some sort of Survivor show of, you know, last man standing show in the wilderness or something.

Marijanel Knight:

But he has had the patience and persistence to wade through the icy rivers and sift, save, watching and waiting for the gold. And that takes a special person but it's the kind of person I want to be in life not literally in gold panning in a river. But in life. I want to be the kind of person who will go into my mess, and into the mess of family and friends and just know that there's gold to be found, and have the patience and determination to find it. And when Steve came home last night, he had a pretty good sized flake. I can't remember the amount that he weighed, but he had it in his vial like all these flakes. But was that treasure guaranteed? No. But he found it by positioning himself and being willing to dig through the muck and mire. Okay, so I mentioned that I don't feel like I have the gift of gold painting in the literal sense.

Marijanel:

But Metaphorically speaking, I see a lot of similarities between gold painting and creativity and talent. For example, when I'm video editing, I am scrubbing through videos looking for the gold when I'm editing photography, I am calling through photos looking for the gold there are similarities and likenesses between the two art forms. And I would say that no matter what your gift or talent is, or what you feel like your purposes are gonna go to last week's episode and hear what I have to say about using the word purposes as a plural rather than just a singular purpose. No matter what your purposes are, I can guarantee you it's going to take some digging, it's going to take personal digging to search out the gold amongst your heap of rubble amongst your dirt, so to speak, it's gonna take you and i Believing believing that the gold is there, and then practicing and slowing down just like in a good kiss. And from what I've learned about literal gold panning, you have to open your eyes and remain attentive in order to even see the shiny, tiny, shimmering specks in the gold pan because the majority of the time you don't find huge nuggets, okay, like I don't even know if Steve's ever found what's considered to be a nugget.

Marijanel Knight:

Steve's gold findings are generally gold dust. And here's what I want to say about what I've learned about the dust is it adds up, it adds up. It's just like all the other talks I've had in the podcast about the little things having ripple effects, the little things adding up the purposes of our life being woven into one greater purpose. It all adds up and some of us are very discontent me discontent and agitated because we want our purposes to be bigger and faster and and we want to do what we know is in us to do now but in reality, it takes time. And it's the gold dust not giant nuggets, gold dust that adds up with patience and as I celebrate Steve's birthday his 55th birthday, which means in Canada here in BC, he's technically a senior citizen and a lot of stores. And he's pretty excited about that. He's going to bootleg a few, you know, senior citizens 10% discounts to some of our friends and family. So, you know, that's really exciting.

Marijanel:

Yeah, but as I celebrate Steve's birthday, and I wish him the happiest of days and years ahead, I want to wish the same for my listeners and watchers, and here's the blessing. I want to say May you have peace in your digging, and much gold in your pan. I'll say once more. Have peace in your digging and much gold in your pan.

Marijanel Knight:

It's been a delight to share on my memoir cast with you today. Thank you so much for being here. Please consider leaving a review or stars is one of the best ways you can show love for the podcast that you love. Find me on marijanel.com and on Instagram at Marijanel And remember, the podcast show notes have all kinds of links to check out. Until next time, keep being curious.

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