In this episode, Major (ret.) Teddy Colegate joins Donna to talk about his extensive military career, from airborne jumps to the White House, and unveils the birth of Heroes Outreach, his lifeline to fellow veterans. This decorated Marine shares the essence of camaraderie in the face of adversity and the power of support networks during the pivotal shift from active duty to civilian life.
An enlightening exploration for anyone seeking to understand the military mindset, the significance of supportive relationships, and the enduring spirit of those who have served.
Tune into our CHW Streaming Radio and the full lineup at cominghomewell.com
Download on Apple Play and Google Play
Online-Therapy.com ~ Life Changing Therapy Click here for a 20% discount on your first month.
Donna’s Links
Website: www.rebel-llc.com Consulting/Coaching
Book: Warrior to Patriot Citizen (2017)
Blog: Taking Off The Armor
IG: @thetransitioningwarrior
Twitter: @wtpc
FB: The Transitioning Warrior
Jay’s Links
Website: https://j2servantleadership.com/
Book: Breaking Average (2020)
Thank you for listening! Be sure to SHARE, LIKE and leave us a REVIEW!
In this episode, Major (ret.) Teddy Colegate joins Donna to talk about his extensive military career, from airborne jumps to the White House, and unveils the birth of Heroes Outreach, his lifeline to fellow veterans. This decorated Marine shares the essence of camaraderie in the face of adversity and the power of support networks during the pivotal shift from active duty to civilian life.
An enlightening exploration for anyone seeking to understand the military mindset, the significance of supportive relationships, and the enduring spirit of those who have served.
Tune into our CHW Streaming Radio and the full lineup at cominghomewell.com
Download on Apple Play and Google Play
Online-Therapy.com ~ Life Changing Therapy Click here for a 20% discount on your first month.
Donna’s Links
Website: www.rebel-llc.com Consulting/Coaching
Book: Warrior to Patriot Citizen (2017)
Blog: Taking Off The Armor
IG: @thetransitioningwarrior
Twitter: @wtpc
FB: The Transitioning Warrior
Jay’s Links
Website: https://j2servantleadership.com/
Book: Breaking Average (2020)
Thank you for listening! Be sure to SHARE, LIKE and leave us a REVIEW!
Welcome to Beyond the Frontline podcast, where your hosts, US Air Force veterans Donna Hofmeier and Jay Johnson, will help you transition from the front line to the home front. Listen every other Wednesday, as they will bring great conversations, resources, tips and feel good stories that will resonate and relate. Now here's your hosts, Donna Hofmeier and Jay Johnson.
Speaker 2:All right, everybody, this is Beyond the Frontline and you're here with me today, donna Hofmeier, and I am bringing on a very special guest. I actually met him on a golf course. Like no kidding, his house is on a golf course and I was out helping doing a golf event for raising money for a veteran nonprofit and I'm sitting on the 12th hole and I'm looking over at this house. I'm like I love the house. The color is this really cool blue and I was really just admiring it and like 20 minutes later, this really cute young lady comes bopping out and she's like hi, I'm Caitlin. And I was like, hey, and I'm like I love your house. And I said and then it was like this immediate friendship. And then I found all about what she and her husband are doing and I was like, hey, we all need to talk. And so I was able to wrangle her husband, who is major Teddy Colgate.
Speaker 2:He is a retired United States Marine Corps and Teddy has this amazing nonprofit called Heroes Outreach, and that's what we're going to talk about today is all about Teddy where he started, where he went, what he saw and what led them to starting Heroes Outreach. And Heroes Outreach has been around, if I am not mistaken, for close to 13 years around there. So I'm going to give you a very short background about Teddy. Very short because I'm going to let him tell his story. But he retired after 22 years in the Marines. He was airborne jump school. He went to the Sands of Saudi Arabia for Operation Desert Shield, desert Storm, the Liberation of Kuwait. He went on and he's one of those special Marines I'm teasing him a little because he got edumacated and he's got a Bachelor of Science degree in 1999. And then he decided I'm going to go back into the Marines and I'm going to finish my career. Well, actually, teddy, am I correct? Did you do your education while you were in the Marines or did you step out?
Speaker 3:I did. I stayed active duty the whole time and just went to night school and went to college classes during lunchtime and things like that Anything that would give me a college credit I try to do during a short period of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So he went on and he was one of those that crossed over, came to the dark side, became an officer and I said in 2012 he retired as a major. He was a White House liaison, he was coordinating Marine One presidential helicopter. He was overseas in like half the country Okinawa, germany, korea and he has a lot to tour duties in Iraq and Afghanistan. And then he came out and eventually started first hero's outreach. And that is just a very brief summary. Teddy, you probably could write a book, because I was looking at your bio and I was like Holy crap, if I read the whole thing, I just told the whole story. So everybody, I want you guys to welcome Teddy, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 3:Thank you very much Thank you for having me. I think it's always an honor to join someone and an adventure, if you will, and I find that those special people that run podcasts or start podcasts, I think they have a unique storytelling ability. So thank you whole hardly for inviting us on to share our stories.
Speaker 2:I like talking. That's what happened and I'm going to tell you I never, ever, ever had podcasts on my radar ever. I'm a nurse by trade, retired Air Force nurse, yeah and was broached and said we really think you'd be good for podcasts. And I laughed at him. I was like that's funny. But they apparently thought I was good and they probably just kept hearing me motor mouth and they're like, no, really you'd be good, Put your talk into work. I'm like, okay, and here we are, right. So, um, right. So this is where I want to start with everything.
Speaker 2:Your story is long and extensive and you're probably one of the most humble guys that I've met. It was fun because I actually didn't meet you on the golf course. I met Caitlin, and Caitlin was just like chirping away about oh yeah, we came from Florida and this is what we're doing and I was like, oh my gosh, and then we just started chirping away. And then I had a friend there, jessica Caitlin, as she was saying everything that was going on Jessica goes careful what you tell Donna, she'll plug you into stuff before you know it. And I was like, mm-hmm, yep, I was thinking of all these things we could do. So where did you go? Where'd you start? Let's just kind of get into your story, um, and where you quickly, where you grew up, what got you into the Marines, and just these pivotal transition points that got you and then and through the Marines.
Speaker 3:My grandfather was a war two Marine and a huge influence in my life. So after high school I kind of sat around for a short period of time and then just figure you know what, it's time to do something. And I just went down to the Marine Recruiters Office and it was that simple. It wasn't like sell me, you know, what do you have to offer. It was how quickly can I go? And within, I guess, short to two and a half months I was in the Marine Corps. So that was in 90 January of January of 1990. So less than a year in from there I went to jump school.
Speaker 3:I was with second Anglico able to gunfire liaison company out of Camp Lejeune and we were in the desert. You know huge, complex, big issue in the world that the world hadn't seen in some time. And here I am, a 19 year old kid ready to save the world. And you know chew on Constantine a wire, and you know all those war isms that you hear about, you read about. You know I was 19 years old and I was full of it, I was ready to do everything.
Speaker 2:It's romantic yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, the problem was, you know, the Gulf War was 100, 100 hours, basically Right, and so there was a lot, of, a lot of folks that were like, well, shoot, you know, but that was, that was not what I intended, you know so. But we did our job, did well, and came back and I was still full of this, you know motivation and things like that. So I worked the next six months or so and I got myself meritoriously promoted the corporal, and then I had orders to go up to HMS one, which is the marine marine one, you know, the presidential helicopter course.
Speaker 2:How old were you at that point?
Speaker 3:At that point I didn't even know what that was. All I knew was I was 19. So and I think I just turned 20 actually. So, but where I was, you know, I was in the field all the time. I was jumping out of helicopters. I was living a good life, I didn't want to go anywhere and my my boss came up to me and he says hey, sport, you know, if you don't have a choice, when this command comes down and says you're the guy, you are the guy. So, again, 20 years old, didn't know what that meant.
Speaker 3:So I get up to HMS and you know, within a short few months, I have, you know, super high security clearance. I'm working in the White House is an office back and forth DC from Quantico and just what I would consider living my best life at that point. Because now I'm 21. And I'm traveling, I'm doing all these cool things, I'm like this this Marine Corps stuff is great. Yeah, no education whatsoever, but all these opportunities were in front of me and it was just. It was just amazing and a lot of early on in my career I had a lot of cool things thrown at me that I feel like I excelled at and guys wanted me around to do certain jobs. So it was. It was nice.
Speaker 3:And then at that point the got orders to open out. And that's when I decided, because I was going to get out of the Marine Corps, from HMS. I had a bunch of buddies that were secret service agents and I was going to get out. And then that way I could, you know, go into secret service and things like that. But I didn't have my degree and the option was I could become a uniform, a secret service agent, or get my degree, you know, and figure it out. So I reenlisted for the sole fact to commit to getting my degree. So I went to open out, got a 40 degree in two and a half years. Left there was getting out of the Marine Corps again and my boss said, hey, I filled out this you know package. Why don't you finish it up and then we'll submit it? And I didn't know what that was really at the time, but it was a commissioning package. So did all the paperwork for that submitted a commissioning package, left Okinawa and went to Quantico and was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Marine Corps.
Speaker 2:So how old were you when you?
Speaker 3:committed. I was 27, 27 or 28.
Speaker 2:That's pretty good, I've seen I was right on the top. I've seen the people that have done you know they've made up to senior enlisted and then they're like I'm going to crossover and I'm like God bless you. They go from first sergeant, senior guy, to second lieutenant. That's a, that's a total mind Mess with your head quite a bit.
Speaker 3:We did have a guy. He was a gunnery sergeant, so he seven, but he had went out to me set, which is the. You know, you go to school full time, that's your job, You're. You do you know the reserve type thing, but you're actually going to school. He had went out to me set as a corporal and was non competitively promoted to sergeant, staff sergeant and then selected for gunnery sergeant While he was in school. So you know, the last time he left the Marine Corps was, you know, a corporal, and now he's basically a gunnery sergeant and now he's getting ready to be commissioned. So his, his experience is not commensurate with his rank. Yeah, but for me it was full active duty. I was selected for staff sergeant the same summer I was commissioned.
Speaker 2:That's pretty equivalent crossover. I mean, I would you know up to that point. Yeah, I think that's not too bad, you know, for the the equalness of crossing over, because it is just a mental shift. Where we're you seeing anything at that time? I'm kind of kind of tie it into what you ended up doing out of the military. Were you seeing anything at that time? Like what was your degree in? You said a bachelor's science, but what was the? It was full active.
Speaker 3:So psychology and education.
Speaker 2:So you are already psychology. I mean that's interesting that you picked that really early on. What influenced that decision?
Speaker 3:Well, unfortunately it was one of those where I felt that was the easiest route to my degree with those two things, because I could use the personal side of thing and I'm not going to say BS my way through school but with sociology, psychology, things like that, there are a lot of touchy-feely things that are interpretive in nature.
Speaker 2:I bet that worked well with the Marines.
Speaker 3:Well, I never really let anyone into the fact that I had a psychology degree Probably smart, I had innate ability to be able to outthink most people, so, which was fantastic, and so it was just one of those things where I had a lot of fun. When I was commissioned, I had 10 years in and I had a lot of fun being the new lieutenant because I would play that role for my humor. And then, when it got down to business, these guys knew that they have the guy that's going to take them and bring them back, so the Marine Corps was just a fun time for me. And then, of course, you go into September 11th and things like that, and I distinctly remember where I was during that time frame, because we were at the June and we were getting ready to work up and everything happened and we were one of the communists that potentially were headed to DC or into New York if communication had ceased, because we could provide that service anywhere.
Speaker 2:Exactly yeah.
Speaker 3:So yeah, so we were a satellite transmission unit and we could pretty much create AT&T-esque services anywhere in the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so where were you for September 11th? Where were you stationed at that time?
Speaker 3:Camp Lejeune, camp Lejeune. Yeah, I was with 8th Commitign in Camp Lejeune.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I was actually at Ramstein. I was a flight nurse at the time and I remember our chief nurse called us down to the theater patient movements on her and said you know, because we always had TVs on right, like you guys probably did, we always had all the new stations going. So we kind of knew kind of what was going on in the world. And somebody was like somebody hit the tower, like one of the twin towers, into my head I was like how the hell could they not see the freaking big old building right there? Like that makes no sense. And no, sooner that that went through my head, somebody came from another room looking. It was another new station, had a different angle, and they saw a plane hit the second tower and then all of us were dead. We knew, we knew at that moment what had happened, like not details, but we knew that this was a terrorist attack. And so we're like holy crap. And of course then we all went on alert and you know all the stuff that you, you know everybody goes on alert and figuring it all out.
Speaker 2:Now, we were overseas, so we actually experienced a lot of hate crimes. We had people coming through our neighborhoods, k-town, there. I wasn't in Kaiser slot and I was in another town that was actually all German so I was actually safer than most people. But K-town had some of the pilots were saying like yeah, there's like white vans with no license plates driving through the neighborhood.
Speaker 2:All of a sudden, when I got stationed in England I was talking to some of my patients there and this lady was telling me during that time there were people driving head on, cause you know, you can tell for the civilian audience it doesn't know this when at the time. I don't know what it is now, but when you had a license plate overseas on your American car, it was like target practice. It said USA right down the side of it. It was like we all hated it and so they would target them. And one lady said I had somebody drive head on, I had to drive into a ditch, my car rolled over, yeah, so there was a lot of that going on overseas that I don't think a lot of people really realized. But yeah, it was all. We were all there kind of waiting and listening to our counterparts in the States waiting for a call, what we had to do, but all of us just sat alert and you know how much to do.
Speaker 3:I think the overseas folks, I think they get missed a lot of times. Like we said the front, you know, it's almost like you're by yourself, you have your little pod and, if you know, if hell shows up at your doorstep, I mean you look around and that's what you had. And I think mindset wise for us being deployed so many times. That's how we approach everything.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And I think even today, when I go out and I do things, that's, I look around and that's what I have. I don't rely on anyone else. I that I don't bring with me yeah. And I think that's a mindset that focused, that you only get that through trauma and that so many times.
Speaker 2:That's a profound statement that you just said. You only get that through trauma and I've said before, everybody that has gone in the military has been traumatized, which sounds horrible, right, but it is also what makes us able to perform duties that other people couldn't do. And that is just a fact. If you know, the sad reality is, if you are coming in the military or your kids are going in the military or whatever, there will be some level of trauma. Why? Because if we don't put that on you, we can't teach you how to respond, and when those situations come up which are traumatic, you're not going to know what to do or you're going to get in those situations unexpectedly and you got a respond right. So it it's simple statement, but it's kind of profound.
Speaker 3:And it goes back to training, and for us we always did emergency action plans. I'm sure you did them at the hospital. Yes, you know common drills and things like that. It's like you can train all these things, but if it's not muscle memory, yes as soon as shit hits the fan, you know, there's always the one or two guys that are gals that are like what now?
Speaker 3:what do we do and they don't have that ability to just kick in. I was super thankful that I was always trained quit and what I felt ready and I did the same for my guys was that you know, we we anticipated the old shit moments and and really wanted those because we felt we were better prepared than the next guy, and that's. It's weird to say that you know sitting here and and and the collar shirt and everything else, but I still feel that way. I still feel when I go to the grocery store that I am better prepared than 99% of the people in there If something happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're always skinning. It's a habit for me now when I go into restaurants. If I'm with military buddies and I know that they've like struggled with like PTSD or you know whatnot, I will actually just say where do you want to sit? Because I'm okay with my back to the door. If they're that way, you know, and they're watching them like I'm good, it doesn't really faze me. But if I'm with other people that are non military or I don't know where their level is, I will pick the door where I can kind of. You know, I'm not, I don't get too get you, I'm not really that. But I do like to kind of have some essay on on what's going on and typically when I'm with my military buddy, don't have to worry about that they're scanning, like I'm so used to talking to people that scan across the room. I'm just like, yeah, gotcha, you know. They're like sorry. I'm like, no, we're good, we're good, I know what you're doing.
Speaker 3:And I still do it. I'm not, as I'm not as obvious now as I was 10 years ago. Yeah, and I think. I think that's twofold really. It's coping skills, but it's also just, you know, easing myself and those around me that I try to limit my places that I'm in, but I assess every single person that I encounter.
Speaker 2:And we assess where we go, like I am so not a fan of crowds. I mean, my kids did not grow up at Six Flags and all those other places. We went to Disney once. I was like, yeah, that was fun, I could not do that again. And you know, I see this commercial is like it's the most magical place on earth and I'm like that's not the word I was thinking of, right. And again it's because of our training, right, like that, many people in a space, too many thoughts. I don't actually even think them, I just know that it's too many thoughts, you know, and I and I like, I'm like you, I'm like I don't want to put that on my kids, I don't want to make them afraid or anything like that. So we do, we do go to that stuff. And I am much happier when my friends say, hey, can we take the kids to Six Flags? You sure can Do. I have to go. Totally understandable.
Speaker 3:And I think for me again going back to mindset and trying to stay on a timeline of sorts.
Speaker 3:So I was deployed in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010. And the three years three or four, five, six I was actually at Paris Island training recruits. So you know there wasn't a whole lot of breathing room in any of that, but the experience that I had each time I was able to grow, I feel more confident every time that I deployed. And my last two deployments I literally went into the to the 06, the Colonel and I I almost handpicked my guys for that, for that mission, which was, you know, ideal in any situation and everybody would love to do be able to do that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:I was. I was thankful that I got the opportunity to grab you know, at least you know my top tier guys that I knew I could count on, hands down and gone replace me during a deployment. And then we just kept in touch and things like that, and I really liked how he operated. So when we had the opportunity to go into Afghanistan on short notice, you know I called him up and I said you know, is this something you want to do? And he's like, he's like absolutely. You know if, if you're the guy I'm going and you know. So those types of things make it all worth it. The long days, the long hours, the time being gone, you know the stress of all of it, but when you have guys that you feel are top quality and they feel the same about you, then then you know that you've gone down that path the right way.
Speaker 2:So yes, I think the biggest compliment any that any military person or veteran could hear is I would go to battle with you. That is the epitome, that is the compliment that a military person wants to hear that I trust you, I would go to battle with you, or I'd go to battle under you or whatever it is, or I'd pick you to go to battle in any component like that, I think that's probably the pinnacle compliment that a person could receive.
Speaker 3:The only one I would maybe challenge. And this happened to me, you know, I think it was like 10 o'clock at night and we're getting ready to get on buses to head out to O9. And I had a young kid. He was a corporal brand new corporal and his parents were down visiting and he said you know, thank you for taking care of my son.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that'll get you there right too. That's right up there, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's one of those, you know. I mean you don't talk about pressure.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say it's kind of bittersweet, isn't it?
Speaker 3:It's like holy crap, you know. No pressure my God.
Speaker 2:It's a reality, slap yeah.
Speaker 3:But again, I always told my folks that, listen, I'm trusted to take care of you. That's it. So you may not like what we're going to do and you may not like how we're going to do it, but I will always train and equip you to do what we're supposed to do. By and large, we were pretty fortunate.
Speaker 2:So this is going on. So you just rattled off half your career's deployments and then the other half is training, right? I mean, that is that's your life, right? So I know that if I had met you in that period, the word that would come to me would be like intense. Right, you are zero in laser focused. I definitely would want you on my side, not against me. But what now that these deployments are happening and you're going and you're coming back and you have a psychology degree that nobody knows about? What are you watching? What is happening to you and how are you handling all of it? Because you're all changing now. Right, you're getting older, wiser, unfortunately, more experienced, fortunately more experienced. However, you want to look at that. That trauma is happening. That is what has helping shape you. How is this all getting handled when it's getting too much In?
Speaker 3:09, TBI was kind of starting to become a buzzword and I was adamant that my unit would do pre deployment TBI testing. And we were one of the few units at that point, that you know. I mean it was an option, but we were everyone's doing it, you know and did the scans and the tests and the you know, the worksheets and everything else Right, and all that stuff goes into the following cabinet somewhere.
Speaker 2:Wasn't that an anum? Is that what that was called the anums?
Speaker 3:or something like that. Yeah, it could have been. I'm not exactly sure what it was, but then the pull way come back and we do the post screening.
Speaker 3:Well, in October of 19, I'm sorry, october of 09, I was in an LAV that got smashed and you know went black out for how long and I knew something was not right. So I literally slept for two days, you know, didn't go to the aid station or nothing like that. I had my dock on scene Check me out, you know, and but I was not okay, not okay. And I remember my first sergeant, because I'd collapse in his lap and he says, you know, I'm sure you okay, and I was like, yeah, you know, and but he had asked me that, you know, five or six times. You know, I only heard the last time because I was. You know, come to an instance, can you move? I said, of course I can move. You know, I thought it was moving but I wasn't.
Speaker 3:You know so here I'm all claps on this guys on his lap in the back of a C7 variant LAV, and so, you know, I finally, you know, shake it off and we climb out. And you know, you know, I was like, of course I'm good, you know I'm a major at this point.
Speaker 2:I'm always good, always good, that's right. That's the answer.
Speaker 3:So, so we actually crossed that from the LAVs and we jumped on a helo and we flew back, and then we got back to our site and I just hit the rack and you know, I literally slept for a couple of days, which probably, looking back, was not the smartest thing to do. I was thinking it wasn't.
Speaker 3:And. But you know, my guys were checking on me nonstop and things like that. And so, you know, three days later, so cobwebs came out, whatever. So, fast forward. Now we're coming home and we're doing our post appointment assessment and you know, the last question of it says do you want to talk to a provider? You know, yes, yes, I do. So a couple of days later I talked to the provider and she's like what seems to be the problem? I said, well, there's something going on. I don't know what it is, but I know it's something. I said you know, can you look at my sheet? She's like oh, of course you know. So she does my post deployment sheet. And she's looking at it. She's like everything looks good. You know you're, you're at the high end of the average or you know some above average and stuff like that. I said how does that compare to my pre deployment? And she's like well, we didn't compare them because your scores are are one.
Speaker 2:Stop right there. Stop right there. Let me tell you I am not going to rabbit hole on this but holy crap, high functioning people that get injured. They do not get picked up. I am, I have seen it. I have taken care of these patients. I had one, this gentleman in Colorado, and he's like ma'am, the same thing you said. It is not right. I am not right. I said what you don't understand is your half functioning, is somebody else's high functioning, so sorry, I'd like that. Just as soon as you said it, I'm like, oh yes, big gap there, so go ahead, sorry.
Speaker 3:So kind of took my lost away, but I need you to compare. So she leaves, she takes my form, she leaves, comes back and I'm in this room thinking that you know, I'm, I'm freaking crazy, right, like you know. She comes back, five doctors, five of them, and they all sit around and she says sir, I am so sorry. And it was one of those moments where I realized that I wasn't crazy for being so irritable and so pissed off at everybody or myself, because I couldn't, you know, do the things that I could do. And the problem, like you said, if you just met me, you know, hey, I'm great guy, you know, and everything else, and man, you're smarter whip and all these things inside my head, inside my heart, all these things that don't connect.
Speaker 3:I was losing my mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I was legitimately losing my mind and I was so frustrated at everything and everyone, and it was because I could not. My brain was either either processing faster than my mouth or vice versa, or not as fast and not in sync. And finally, you know, with all the testing, they're like yeah you, you have a moderate TBI which, for a, say, an average guy going in would almost be debilitating.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But with your level and your focus, it's like you, you, you, you present Okay, and but that was the first time in a couple of years that I just had a almost an awakening of like, okay, now, how do we get to where my best life is, or how do we fix the quality of life that I've been struggling with for a year, you know. So it was huge and, and that was probably summer, summer of 2010 was when was when that was like laid out in front of me, like, okay, you're not, you're not crazy. You know there is something and it's not for a guy like you. It's not going to be debilitating, it may be limiting at times, but you know, recognizing, understanding, identifying those certain things. At least I have something that I can point at and say, okay, this is why. Now, what do we do now?
Speaker 2:What do we do now? Right, and how did you move forward, like, what were the modalities that you ended up using to come back?
Speaker 3:Well, there was. There was just a at that time. There was just a lack of understanding and appreciation for TBI and the reason and I say that in the sense that if you're functioning with a TBI, then it's not functioning with a TBI, it's just functioning, and if you're non-functioning with a TBI, then you're getting the highest level of care available Right. So there was a huge gap and you couldn't. You couldn't bridge that when you run active duty. You couldn't. You couldn't keep jumping up and down saying, hey, I need help, I need help because all you're going to do is get set on the bench.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And nobody wants to deal with you until your time is up Right and and I say that term sat on the bench for a very specific reason, because that's kind of how First Goers Heroes Outreach came to light and the intent was and I'll go back but the intent of First Goers Heroes Outreach is to keep guys and gals veterans, active duty, first responders, firefighters, law enforcement in the fight and not on the bench. So if you have a bad call as a firefighter, we want you to have the resources available to help you. While you still remain choosing and doing the service of which you've set forth to do, the worst thing you can do for a person that is engaged in their life of service is to take that away from them.
Speaker 2:Well, I want to comment on something that you were just saying, that it was black and white in the TBI world. So if you were functioning, you were good, and if you weren't, then you got all this care and the military, just so you understand, their goal is to keep as many assets going as they can. We didn't say how good, just that they can keep them going. So if you had a TBI and you were still functioning and we'll put quotes around that, right, because we know the outside and the inside never match they were like yeah, you're good, buddy, off you go. And in their mind, well, we still got a warm body right, and so the commander's happy and everybody's happy and they're still doing it.
Speaker 2:So, and then, if you're so far and you need all this help, then what they're doing is okay, we're giving them help. Look, we're giving them help and they're also helping them out the door. They're not Like, if it's too far, then we're just going to get you out the door. You know, you're right. That's where this enormous gap existed and, I probably would contend, still exist right now. You know, I've been out three years but I don't see a massive change, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would agree. I think it still exists, the bodies you know. Yeah, that's you know. I think that that's one of those things where units want bodies to do X, Y and Z, and when you can't do X, Y and Z, then you get put somewhere where nobody has to deal with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So your time expires and when your time expires they wash their hands and they send you to the lovely VA healthcare system and you can argue that it's robust and they have all the assets available at the ready. I would argue against that. I have. I'm about a 50-50 guy with the VA. I get a lot of good things from the VA. Sometimes I have to wait longer than I care to, but you know I also have the ability to go out to other sectors as well, so you know, that's one of those things where that's a totally different time, I'm guessing.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's a whole beast by itself.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So the gap you just started to say I'm sorry, you started to say the gap and that's kind of what I guess we want to talk about now is the gap. Like you saw the gap and you experienced this yourself, right, were you seeing other people experiencing the same thing? Were you watching this? And again you're one up because you got the degree, you got the secret degree over there, and you are processing this not only on a personal level but on a clinical level.
Speaker 3:I was a comrade commander at the time and then I had moved up to be acting the county commander and dealing with this at the same time.
Speaker 3:And when I called for an appointment, I got the appointment and basically because it was who I was or what I was at the time, right. And again I would hear kids that would not get the appointments because they were not available or the appointment is three months out or what have you, and we didn't really have the community care network that we have today, which is one of those good changes. However, the fact is, you have kids that are saying they need help and they're not getting it, and I think to me that is that's the criminal level of the care that we say in the military, of everything you have and everything you do and we will take care of you. And that does not happen. Right, and that's always been one of my issues. You can't say it on one side and then not follow through. So, for me, what I try to do was establish some sort of support groups, you know, internal through the unit, and it didn't have. You didn't have to say anything and you didn't have to participate. It was just sitting in a room and this helped me a great deal with sitting in a room with 20 other guys and just looking around saying you know what? I'm not the only one dealing with this crap and I'm not alone. They're not alone, whether we said things or not. Sometimes those group settings were effective. I've also been.
Speaker 3:Soon as I retired, I jumped full force into the group Self-care because I could not figure out how to take care of myself and I had 20 plus years taking care of others. And now, all of a sudden, all I have to do is take care of myself and I was failing miserably. And at one point during the week I would have a psychiatry appointment, a psychologist appointment, a social worker, and I would go to group therapy and many times I would be asked to leave group therapy because, you know, someone would start telling me or telling the group how bad it was and everything else, and I couldn't. I couldn't differentiate or compartmentalize. Their issue was their issue, you know. And it's no, it's not a competition, it's just an appreciation. And I've adapted that mindset wholeheartedly these last five years.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I think that is that when I walk into a room there's 100 people, 100 different problems going on and I don't have to know what they are. I don't even have to really care what they are, but I have to appreciate that everyone's going through something.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:So but it's one of those. I just knew that I had to constantly focus on the self-care to try and become the best version of me, moving forward, but it was one of those. So through all of this, you know, and we'll skip, we'll skip the five-year struggle, so to speak. We got to Jacksonville. I was working for a nonprofit there that was dealing with misplaced veterans, veterans that were either homeless or addicted, financial issues, you know, rescue type type facility that housed, and it just it sort of became about money and not people. And you know I felt like there was a miss there where we had to figure out, you know, how do we take care of the people and you know the money will just happen.
Speaker 3:So when we first started, we only wanted to talk about Marines, we only wanted to talk about military guys. So when we started it was just Marines, military in general and trying to make a difference in their lives. And then when Kayla together and her being a firefighter you know there are so many similarities of what they deal with that we decided to rebrand and that's when we created First Go Zero's outreach to incorporate veterans and first responders, because I think the issues they have and the lack of the continuity of care you know is to be highlighted, because anyone that has an issue and gets set down, like I said, on the bench, you have placed many more obstacles than just that incident that they are struggling with. So for us, at First Go Zero's outreach, we try to be proactive, vice-reactive, and that's one of the things where we want to get out in front of the issues because you know when you're reacting to everything. Much like my situation. I knew something was wrong. You know Well, it could have been too late, you know.
Speaker 3:But the fact is, if the doctors would have said, okay, they did the comparison right off the bat and they would have said, okay, we need to do X, y and Z because we see the issue, and they were proactive, then maybe I wouldn't be. You know, 10, 12 years struggling the way I'm doing now.
Speaker 2:So you bring up a really good point. So we I got people all the time and I knew like I used to take care of some of the special forces guys and I knew specifically when they landed if they were calling me especially if they called me directly which had happened. I knew it was bad, didn't even question it because I know that those guys and girls hold out the longest and they have internal resources right. You have your own doc and you're doing all the things that you can do to put band-aids on it to try to keep it going. But when they were calling me I didn't even question it. I knew it was going to be really heavy and it's interesting that all this knowledge we have, all this evidence base and over and over it, shows early intervention. The earlier you get it, the higher chance of success, of a fuller recovery whatever fuller looks like right.
Speaker 2:I had an incident where I ended up long story short. It was basically I was flashing back to another scenario, so I ended up getting engaged in a ambush meeting type thing. It triggered some memories from like 25 years ago. It was causing me physical reactions like, almost immediately, heart rate going up, shaking, couldn't be around a certain person, I would have a physical reaction and I'm not even a crier, I'm not even really that person that gets super emotional. So it was really like what? Like you said, something's wrong. The military mental health system completely failed me. That's another whole story.
Speaker 2:I happen to be working with somebody in the civilian sector and because they engage within a week of what happened three months down the road, I was back sitting in these meetings not having that physical response. I mean, and that was profound to me because I was already working with all these garden reserve people that were dealing with PTSD and whatnot. And I'm getting them a year, two years, five years, 10 years down the road and they're just figuring out they have PTSD, they had a TBI, they had a whatever, and the guy that worked with me, he told me he goes. I had neurofeedback done, which that's another whole topic, but I had that done and he had said if you had not had that done, donna, you probably would have taken six months to a year minimum to kind of get to the same spot.
Speaker 2:Blew my mind, blew my mind. So that early intervention, god, I wish we could focus hard on that and that's what I see you guys doing. Because where are you trying to catch people? You're trying to catch them more, like at that transition point right where they're going from the military to the civilian for the military sex. I know you take care of first responders and whatnot, but across the board it's that transition. You're trying to catch them right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we want we want to provide a baseline that you know everything you're feeling, as you now essentially don't have control or Like every. All the control that you have, the control method, are yours. A lot of guys struggle with that, and gals because, yes you think about military.
Speaker 3:I know what to wear, I know when to wear, I know what to do. I have book. It tells me everything I need to do. I know when I need to be somewhere, when I don't need to be somewhere, whatever. So when you transition, you get to a point where you're like what do I do now?
Speaker 3:So the struggle for a lot of guys up in their head is I have no purpose. I Know I now have a skill set that is no longer Valuable. You know, unless you have one of those jobs, that that you know correlates with what, what you choose to do, because a lot of guys and gals don't want to do what they did in the military. So there's a, there's a big gap that it's not now. What do I do? You know, what do I do if I haven't been planning for a year to exit the military?
Speaker 3:A lot of time that sneaks up on you and they say, hey, here's your last check or here's your your bag of, you know freebies get out and it's like, what do I do now? I had so many kids that would tell me when I'd ask them what their plan is, as they were getting out. Well, I'm gonna go home and I'm going to school and I would ask two questions when you gonna live and if normally it was, well, I'm gonna live with my parents for the short term, whatever, okay. And then the next one was have you applied for school? And 90% of them would say no.
Speaker 3:So my response was always you're gonna live with your parents for the next five years and you're not going to go to school. Because if that was the choice that you made and you were planning, then you were already have done that. So when you take that on, the, the mental health aspect of it, if you don't have continuity of care which we are trying to bridge, that gap or A that we understand that, the struggle that you're gonna have as soon as you take off that uniform you don't wear it every single day. We understand that fact. We understand the fact that you're gonna have not so good days and we want to limit those. And we understand the fact that there's a puffer of resources out there that you probably don't even know what it is.
Speaker 1:You don't know and if you do so.
Speaker 3:If we can, if we can create that and and that like environment for them to say you know what, if I call this this place, they're gonna have, you know, nothing's cookie cutter, as you, as you will know, but they're gonna have, you know, the, the 75% solution that's probably going to get them through the next six months or next year until they find a purpose or they find a direction, they find the will to do whatever it is they choose to do at this point, and not what someone's telling them to do or, or more importantly, what they have to do just to survive so the so here is outreach, that that focus is on that transition.
Speaker 2:I have a couple thoughts here, and that so you that you specifically provide Free mental health care through transition. It's what? 11 or 15 sessions, right, that they get with a therapist and do telehealth.
Speaker 3:Right right which is cool, really cool, yes what we try to do is put them, put the the member with a provider, and then we step out of the way and then a provider lets us know you know how much the bill is and then we take care of that bill.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And and the reason we do it that way is is one we don't want. We don't want the liability for any of it, and and I I say that in just like, not like you know we're running away from liability, but there's certain things that that we're not trained to do now, we're not gonna get trained to do. We want to be a platform to be able to provide proactive Resources to the members that need them.
Speaker 3:Yeah so if we can do that at, you know Five cents on the dollar, which is basically where we're at, you know that's that's the best way to do that. And then the other Huge platform that we're instilling now in legitimately providing wellness retreats for folks that are Transitioning, to be able to say, okay, these are all the things that are available in your area, and you know a Lot of them are no or low cost to military or veteran.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Caitlin and I were talking about it the other day, yep.
Speaker 3:The self-care portion Is what I have personally taken on, as has the test subject, so to speak, because it's what I've dealt with in the last, the last ten years, and you know full disclosure. April 16, 2016, I put a 45 in my mouth and had Josh not come around he's 11 now. Had he not come around and asked for juice you know this we wouldn't be having this conversation. Yeah, you know. So everything I do, you know, I value self-care, because no one's want to care about you more than yourself. You know, and we can say all these things like, oh, such and such doesn't care, so no, they care, but they care about themselves first and foremost, or they care about, you know, who relies on them first and foremost. If you do not care about yourself and you don't do the things that are actively going to Change your outlook and change your quality of life, nobody else is going to give a shit.
Speaker 2:So you have that, yes, and you have to value that is such a foreign concept to military people and we are I've said this many times because actually I do coaching and this is part of it's the same exact thought process of what you have, teddy, which is we are really good at Navigating the military. We know how to dodge things, whether it's a bullet, whether it's a commander, whether it's a subordinate, we don't want to deal with whatever it is. We know how to navigate around right. We know how to get things done. We know where to go right, nothing happens in the formal process. We know where to handshake, we know etc.
Speaker 2:I mean the running joke in Medical when they deploy is the msc's are nearly not as effective as the nurses are, because Everybody knows who picks the bullet out of their ass. Right, it's not the msc, right, so the nurses can go get everything and we know all that stuff right. What we don't know is how to navigate us. We do not have our own intuitiveness about ourselves and what we really like, because we've been told what we like. We've been told what we're doing. We've got dunked into the deep end of the tar pit more times than not, or there's nobody there to do it. Oh, hey you, we all know that when the compliments start coming, we know what's coming behind it. Right, those compliments are not free, right? It's like what do you want? What do I have to do now? Right, I've been a readiness officer. I've done all kinds of crazy things. Right, I'm just like I don't know how to do that. Well, you're gonna learn, okay, you know. So we have been taught how to navigate that world, how to be savvy, how to be street smart, how to do all that. And when we get out and it's just us looking in the mirror, we're like who's that? What's that? I don't know what to do with that. So that self-care is foreign. It feels weird. We feel like we're doing something wrong by Not focusing outward on other people. But, as we all know, when our tank is empty and In some cases they can get real empty Then who the hell are you helping? Nobody, no, nobody, you're not helping anybody. So I like this whole idea with the. This mental health, which is helping, focuses on transition because, like you just said, you Don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 2:And I taught college for a couple years and I had students that were guard and reservists and they knew I was Prior military, had separated for a short time, and they knew I was prior military and they would come to me and they would talk and they'd be like I'm struggling. And it wasn't with the schoolwork, it was with the environment and the mentality. You take a 19 year old, that, or a 21 year old that's already been through two or three Deployments and saw things that many people probably shouldn't even see in their life, and then you go stick them in a classroom with their peers that are like, yeah, what are you doing this weekend? And woo and whatever else is going on. And yeah, do y'all study whatever? They don't know what to do with that. They, they have seen the worst of the worst.
Speaker 2:And now these guys in their minds are like what are y'all doing? Some of them had good frames of mind, saying this is why I defended my country, so you could go have that, be there, express yourself, do whatever. But for others they were just like these guys are morons and I'd have to reframe that thought process. They will think about it. You know, they didn't have your life experiences and if you hadn't had those life experiences, would you be who you are now? Hmm, no, I yeah, no right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's, it's my traditional college years. You know I had been around the world and back and then I was, you know, flying the president of the United States.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when?
Speaker 3:you when you think it in that realm. It's like you know. I had to grab a break quickly.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And and I think, I think it has served me personally well now because I have a better understanding of you know, like, when I look myself in the mirror and I brush my teeth or, you know, shave a little bit of my face, you know.
Speaker 3:You know you can't lie to that person. You know and I think that's the, that's the misnomer, and the military and and Transitioning and you alluded to it the fact that you can get out of just about anything in the military if you know the right people, or you know right, you know, but you can't lie to yourself when you're, when you're looking in the mirror and whether that's good, bad, you know, happy, sad, whatever the fact is, if you can't be honest with yourself and you can't help yourself. So the challenges how do you be brutally honest with yourself? And I I mean brutally when I say brutally honest, because sometimes the person that you look in the mirror is not very nice and he's not very friendly and he's not very Compassionate to who's looking back at him and or her, and it's it's. That was the difficult part for me to understand. Like you know what I am fucked up.
Speaker 3:Yeah and I need. I need to Figure out just one small thing to make me Smile or make me feel like I am going to be okay. And if you can do that and you can start to gain Momentum with small little victories, next thing, you know you, you are building momentum to the point where you're like you know what I actually Can. I have a conversation with that person in the mirror and he gives it to me the way I need it and I give it right back to him, to the fact that you know, I am super grateful, super thankful of that self-talk that allows me to grow, allows me to have the opportunity to Be my best version of me or to live the highest quality of my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's well said and yeah, I want the audience to hear this because there is a lot of young military. You know they're coming in. I still go to the base, you know, when I need to pick up prescriptions or do whatever, and it's funny like I walk in and it's just like deja vu. I see them, I see the second lieutenant sitting there, big eye, just coming in for training or just leaving to go somewhere else, and I'll hear them like yeah, it's my first base and I'm like damn the road ahead of them, right, because we've already been down that road and it's both like exciting and kind of scary, like what are you going to encounter? What's your story going to be?
Speaker 2:But you know, the good part about it is that we have people like you and Caitlin and all these other resources around that are there saying, hey, we own a lot of those t-shirts and you know you do your two years, four years, six years career and when you're done we're going to be over here to help you transition over so you don't have to experience what we did. You know none of this starts I think I said in the beginning of this before we started recording is that none of these programs start from just some random good idea. Fairy, you know there's an experience that happened that said, holy crap, we got to do this better. Something happened and you and I have completely different stories but we actually come to the same thought process on that whole transition and there is more and more people that are getting that, like learning self care. And you know I chuckle when I hear like the eager young military person, like therapies for Nancy's or whatever. And I'm like you keep saying that.
Speaker 2:Talk to me in 10 years. You know, yeah, but we're here, right, we're trying really to build a net and we're trying to get those the weave tighter so we catch more and more of them. And the more we connect and the more people we meet and the more that we see people getting it done, it's just making better for the future generations. You know, we know they're coming. They never stop. You know, and you know soon we'll be catching the guardians of the galaxy over there, the space force. Yeah, I can't help it, I still giggle when we say guardians. So we love you though.
Speaker 3:They just celebrate their four years or five years or something, was it?
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sure they get tons of crap, I mean, but it's all a jury.
Speaker 3:Well and the thing is, you know, it's the whole mentor process.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And if we can, if we can get the audience to understand that there are mentors.
Speaker 3:That have walked, their shoes walked in their shoes or probably walked the same miles. You know every individual and how they deal with things are different. They're places that we've gone and done and seen and you know on and on and on. There's so many people that have done that already, so use us to not take so long to figure this shit out. That's ultimately would be my message is there is old guys and gals that have done this for decades, so don't take a decade to figure it out, like we had to do. Take months. Take a couple weeks, you know, because the more you thrust yourself into your own self care, the better your life is going to be for the longevity of your walking days on this earth.
Speaker 2:Yes, because they're. Unfortunately, whether you want to believe it or not, there is life after the military and it's not too shabby if you can engage into it in a way that works the best for you. You know, and I just want to key on this is my last thought mentoring, because that's a whole topic by itself. Mentoring does not have to be like the military tried to put it on all of us. Here's your mentor. Like who's this person? It does not.
Speaker 2:I can't, really I don't like the word in the sense that it connotates this formality. I like the thought of silent mentoring, in the sense that I had many mentors and some of them didn't even know they were my mentors. I would just kind of like observe them and be like God. They get a good response from this, what are they doing? And I would just watch, and I would watch how they responded to things, whether it was like a tough situation, and I would see how they'd respond and I'm like, hmm, I'm going to try that.
Speaker 2:And so you know, you try to mimic somebody and you try to give it. And then you're like, oh hey, that that kind of worked, right. And guess what, you don't have to tell anybody about it. Right, you can just change, you can just do it differently. And then people may notice like, hey, they're not such a douche when this happens, or hey, you know, look at that, they're kind of pleasant to be around, or they're getting more engaged, or whatever. It is right. So keep that in mind. You know we say mentoring. You know I don't have to, I don't have to go up and go Teddy, will you be my mentor? I mean, you don't do any of that. You find a trait that you find admirable and you mimic it and you try it and you figure it out, you know. So, yeah, just keep that in mind. It's not to be all formal.
Speaker 3:I agree, horribly, and I think that in the same sentence you're going to find those folks that you're going to see observe and say I don't want to do that at all.
Speaker 2:That, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 3:I think that's the greatest part of all of this and all these resources is that you have control now of your life moving forward.
Speaker 3:That you can choose and pick pieces of what you like from certain people that you observe and you can identify things that you don't like by observation. That you know what I'm not going to do, that I'm not going to put myself in that position and you know personally I've been in counseling therapy for over a decade. I've been in Texas for four months and I'm on my fourth fourth therapist in Texas, because it doesn't take me very long to say you know what, you're not the guy and you know that's not a bad thing.
Speaker 2:That's not a bad thing, that's advocating, and a good therapist will also be like hey, I totally understand. Here's somebody that might work for you. Whatever it is right, you can say no, you can. And people, that's another whole concept. And people are like oh my God. I'm sure civilians think what do you mean? You're in the military, you don't know how to say no. Yeah, we don't, actually, we only know how to say yes. I didn't even realize that because it just didn't occur to me until I got into a situation that I was kind of annoyed by this person, and it was virtually too, and I noticed it was kind of causing me some stress. I mentioned it to a buddy of mine and he looked at me and he goes you know, you can just not engage right. And now he's like you can close the computer or shut down the Instagram or whatever it is. As silly as that sound. The damn thought didn't even occur to me.
Speaker 3:I didn't know up until about five years after I retired, that I could fire doctors, any clinical staff or whatever department, therapist, anything like that. I had no idea. I was just like, oh man, we just hated going because you got nothing out of it. And finally I had an old guy. He said if you don't like going, then just don't go. And I was like well, what is that? And he's like no, you don't go to that guy and they'll give you somebody else. If you don't like that person, you go to somebody else.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And again there was another big breakthrough in my self-care, because then I, now I was in control of who I allowed to be a part of my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and your stress level goes down and your empowerment goes up and yeah, and that's what we're all here to teach people. I mean, that sounds crazy when you say that Like oh, like I can say no, like yeah, we can say no, because we don't, we don't have that option. So, yeah, I think we could talk all day. Teddy and I know you and I will. We work in very similar circles and Caitlin's already, like she just caught me the other day like hey, what do you think of this? And I was like ooh, that's cool. And actually through her, another resource said look at this. And you know we were already commiserating and collaborating and so I know that you and I will definitely see each other in other circles.
Speaker 3:And I'll just say that that Caitlin is a big part of my self-care the last couple years because she has pushed me, having not been in the military by any means, but she is such a huge advocate for military and personal sponsors that she has pushed me to do things that I would have never done and you know.
Speaker 3:So having her on your side if you're transitioning or on the team is a big bonus, because she gives. She gives a shit when it comes to people and what they have to do and have to endure. So Caitlin.
Speaker 2:I gotta. I gotta say this to the audience because Caitlin, if I had to describe her, she looks like a petite brunette cheerleader. She is as cute as a button. She is bright eyed, she is perky, she is sweet as they come. And this girl is a bad ass. She doesn't take any crap, she runs her own business and she used to be a firefighter. When she told me that I'm like you, what? And she like I'm only five, three and she's a little shorter than I am. And she's like, oh yeah, it's a firefighter for years. And I'm like, damn, I like you already. Don't underestimate her, I'm, I'm.
Speaker 3:I'm not gonna say I'm out of my league, but I put up a good fight.
Speaker 2:No, I think you guys are a good match, it's a good match. So, all right, any last quick thoughts and we'll just wrap this up.
Speaker 3:I would just say you know, I appreciate what you do, I appreciate the platform that you you do all these things to build awareness and for for heroes, outreach for us. We stand at the ready to help those in need. And if we can't personally help, we definitely have a pool of references and resources that can get help as quickly as possible. So don't hesitate to call on us should you need us, and I just appreciate everything.
Speaker 2:Awesome, wow, we appreciate you. And so for the audience, if any of you guys are transitioning out of the military and you want to get better prepared, it never hurts to have a little bit of counseling and if it needs to be directed towards transition, that's what they'll do for you. They'll help you out there or in any sense of transition that you just need a little bit of. You know redirection, help, mentoring, talk to them. You know they've got resources. We all work together and connected, so don't be afraid. So, all right, I think that's everything, because I think we could go on and on. We might have to go do a part two someday, teddy, I think that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 2:And so, from everybody here at our parent podcast coming home well, and our podcast beyond the front line, we thank all of you. We always like that you take the time to listen to us. That we really hope you can share, like comment, engage we really love engagement. It helps direct us, what we do for our podcast and we want to bring value to you guys, which is all the veterans and all the veteran supporters and dependents. It's all here for you guys. So, from all of us here at all of you, you guys have a great week.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to Beyond the Front Line, a podcast of coming home. Well, join us every other Wednesday and if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with others, post about it on social media or leave a rating and review.