
Wilzerlott
Wilzerlott
S1 E13: Small Problems
In an attempt to save their fairy friend, Nazzy and Enelcia find themselves surrounded by the tiny EEK who reveal new powers of attack.
Written and Produced by Jennifer Lott
Voice Actors:
Shannon Rea as Nazzy
Nicole Stoner as Enelcia
JP Lott as Sir JP
Owen Lott as Wenoburt
Kenzie Stoner as Rose
Jennifer Lott as Yemilina
Tegan Lott as Teloopa
Bill Rea as Passerby
SOUND: opening theme music
EXT. ENCHANTED FOREST
SOUND: forest ambiance
SOUND: footsteps
SOUND: snapping twigs
ENELCIA
Who goes there!
PASSERBY
Just passing through. Wondering what that shiny box is doing there just lying there in that hole.
ENELCIA
I am guarding that, Sir. Do NOT touch the box of doom!
PASSERBY
But it’s so shiny.
ENELCIA
It’s an extinction bomb. It will wipe out all living things.
PASSERBY
Even if I touch it with just one finger?
ENELCIA
We’re not taking any chances.
PASSERBY
You’re being awfully dramatic for such a short person. Step aside. I won’t shake it.
SOUND: shuffling footsteps
ENELCIA
I have given you a warning. My powerful friend will punish you for disregarding it.
PASSERBY
You? A powerful friend? I can see no giants around. They’re hard to miss.
ENELCIA
Just because I’m an elf, you think my only friends are giants?
PASSERBY
I’m sure you have lots of little friends, but I’m only scared of the big ones.
TELOOPA
You should be scared of me.
PASSERBY
You’re almost as little as the elf. You’re hiding pointy ears in that hair?
TELOOPA
Oh, I can look like anything I want. And I only use potions because they’re a painless way to transform. But I can change you into a frog right here. Wanna see?
PASSERBY
You’re too young to be a proper witch.
TELOOPA
Probably, but you’re still a frog.
SOUND: magic staff
SOUND: transformation spell
PASSERBY
(brief scream of pain)
SOUND: frog croak
ENELCIA
This is how we make a frog army to defeat the sap bugs. We’ll just wait here for all the stupid people. We’ll have hundreds of tongues catching bugs!
SOUND: distant armor clanking
SIR JP
(distant)
Hundreds of what? Do you need help over there?
ENELCIA
We’ve got it. Just keep training.
SOUND: sword whooshes
SOUND: swords clangs
SIR JP
Don’t swing so much, Wenoburt. Keep your sword in the middle.
WENOBURT
Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
SIR JP
Your enthusiasm is there. Your focus is not.
WENOBURT
I can focus.
SOUND: sword whooshes
SOUND: swords clangs
SIR JP
Better.
SOUND: sword whooshes
SOUND: sword clangs
SIR JP
Where’s the princess?
NAZZY
Wow, you have been training hard. She took off on a Pegasus twenty minutes ago, determined to find the Queen.
SIR JP
You let her leave by herself?
NAZZY
She didn’t stop to debate it with me.
SIR JP
I don’t trust a flimsy Pegasus. She should have taken my horse.
NAZZY
You’d let someone else ride your horse?
SIR JP
I’d let her…uhm…yes, anyone else. Why not?
NAZZY
Are you sure you’re still immune to sap bugs? I mean first you give in to Wenoburt with all this sword training, and now—
SIR JP
I am training him to be manly because he won’t learn it from anyone else here.
NAZZY
Feeling outnumbered, are you? You know, the cave people I've met are trying to break gender stereotypes. You can identify as a man, but--
SIR JP
Wenoburt, real men are simple. They speak in grunts, howls, and battle cries. They do not self-reflect. They charge. They attack. They pant over their slain foes and charge in.
WENOBURT
(manly roar)
SIR JP
Very good.
NAZZY
Oh, the cave people will disapprove.
SIR JP
I live to upset them. Nosy fluff heads.
SOUND: sword clang
SIR JP
Keep moving your feet.
SOUND: shuffling feet
SOUND: sword whooshes
WENOBURT
(panting)
SOUND: sword clangs
SOUND: fairy arrives
SOUND: fairy wings
WENOBURT
(sputtering)
Hey! Fairy!
SIR JP
Don’t sit on his nose like that. He can’t see.
ROSE
My wings are tired.
SIR JP
Go nap in your flowers.
ROSE
I’m not sleepy.
SIR JP
Then your wings are not tired.
ROSE
I want to sit here and watch you.
WENOBURT
Get off my nose. You are tickling! Ah…ah…
NAZZY
Get off his nose, Rose.
WENOBURT
Ah…ah…ACHOO!
SOUND: fairy propelled on wind
ROSE
Ahhh!
WENOBURT
I didn’t mean to sneeze so big. Come back, fairy!
ENELCIA
Whoa, Rose, don’t fly like that. You’ll crash.
NAZZY
She’s not flying. She’s tumbling on a sneeze wind. Watch out for that cat!
ROSE
Where?
NAZZY
Up there!
ENELCIA
I don’t see a cat.
SOUND: fairy tumbling in grass
NAZZY
In that tree, right over your head! Fly, Rose!
SOUND: cat yowl
ROSE
My wings hurt.
ENELCIA
Then run!
ROSE
My feet hurt.
SOUND: cat pounce
SOUND: cat yowl
SOUND: running footsteps
ENELCIA
Bad kitty! Rose is not your cat toy. Paws off! Ahhh!
SOUND: cat pounce
SOUND: frog croak
SOUND: cat yowl
SOUND: tether charm
ENELCIA
My frog baby is not your cat toy either, no! Just because she is on an invisible string does not mean I am dangling her for you. Shoo!
SOUND: frog croak
SOUND: cat yowl
SOUND: fairy wings
ROSE
Help!
ENELCIA
Ahh, I can’t get close! Someone help!
SOUND: frog croak
NAZZY
Teloopa?
TELOOPA
You want me to prevent our extinction and save the whiny fairy from a cat? Doesn’t anyone else get a job?
NAZZY
Okay, I’m going.
SOUND: running footsteps
NAZZY
Rose? Are you still okay?
SOUND: cat yowl
NAZZY
Oh, God! Drop her! No! I’ll find you mice to torture!
SOUND: running footsteps
ENELCIA
Nazzy?
NAZZY
I miss the nice cats in 2022. Ours are nasty.
SOUND: running footsteps
SOUND: scrape of rock lifting off ground
NAZZY
I’ll throw this rock at you. Drop her!
ENELCIA
Nazzy!
NAZZY
What?
ENELCIA
Rose ducked into the bush way back there. The cat’s got something else.
NAZZY
Another fairy?
ENELCIA
I don’t think so.
SOUND: EEK laughter
NAZZY
Oh no.
SOUND: EEK laughter
ENELCIA
It’s an army of EEK! Even the one in the cat’s mouth is laughing.
SOUND: loud cat yowl
SOUND: shrinking magic
SOUND: diminished cat yowl
NAZZY
That cat got seriously small.
ENELCIA
The EEK can shrink cats?
SOUND: shrinking magic
NAZZY
Or…they can shrink anything.
ENELCIA
Why is the grass so big?
NAZZY
We shrunk.
ENELCIA
No way! We got teleported into a gigantic garden. I like that better.
NAZZY
This is not what teleportation spells sound like. We’re in the same bit of forest. We shrunk.
ENELCIA
I don’t want to be even smaller!
SOUND: frog croak
ENELCIA
Oh no! If I’m the size of an EEK, then my frog baby must be as small as a flea. That can’t be good for her.
NAZZY
Really? She’s been a carrot.
ENELCIA
It made sense at the time.
SOUND: rope creak
NAZZY
Net!
ENELCIA
What?
NAZZY
Look out!
SOUND: net landing
NAZZY and ENELCIA
(scream)
SOUND: EEK laughter
SOUND: bodies slamming on floor
SOUND: dungeon door closing
NAZZY and ENELCIA
(scream)
SOUND: key turning in lock
SOUND: EEK laughter
SOUND: wagon rolling
INT. EEK DUNGEON
ENELCIA
What are they doing?
NAZZY
Dungeon road trip? It’s a dungeon on a wagon.
ENELCIA
But where will they take us? What will they do to us?
NAZZY
How should I know?
ENELCIA
You should know everything! Why don’t you use your powers to map out all our possible futures? Write it all in a book for us, so we can navigate.
NAZZY
I’d have no energy left to breathe.
ENELCIA
But you can change where you are when you time-jump, right?
NAZZY
I can jump places if I also jump in time, yes.
ENELCIA
Then you can--
SOUND: time travel end
ENELCIA
Ah, there’s two of you in here! What?
NAZZY
I must have time-travelled.
FUTURE NAZZY & PRESENT NAZZY
It didn’t work. It doesn’t work.
SOUND: air warp
ENELCIA
Whoa, now one of you is gone!
NAZZY
I caught up to myself. That was me from…let me try that.
SOUND: time travel beginning
ENELCIA
No Nazzy. There were two Nazzys. Now there are none. Nobody to save me…except that enormous vivicord out there. Ahhh…hi.
SOUND: loud vivicord
SOUND: wagon rolling
ENELCIA
Nice of you to follow this tiny wagon without stepping on it. Great for the cave people and all, but, um, I’m freaking out. Nazzy!
SOUND: time travel end
NAZZY
I only went back a few seconds. That’s why there were two of me a moment ago.
ENELCIA
Well, that was dumb. You didn’t even place-jump to get out of this wagon-dungeon.
NAZZY
Something’s wrong. I’m just not that…stretchy.
ENELCIA
What does that mean?
NAZZY
My powers are tied to my body just the way it is. The EEK have changed my body. So when they shrunk me, my powers shrunk, too.
ENELCIA
You mean you can only move a few seconds into the past or future? A few inches through space? That’s how you save broken dishes or skip over boring bits in a conversation. That’s useless! Oh, my poor baby!
SOUND: frog croak
ENELCIA
It’s just rotten luck, isn’t it, darling? If only Teloopa had been captured with us. She’d teleport us all out of here.
SOUND: time travel beginning
ENELCIA
(offended noise)
SOUND: time travel end
NAZZY
Are you done?
ENELCIA
You just called me boring.
NAZZY
You called me useless.
ENELCIA
Forgive me if I don’t want my daughter to be stuck as a frog in the enemy’s dungeon for the rest of her life.
NAZZY
The frog part was your call. Were you ever really going to let her be an elf again?
ENELCIA
Yes! After she’s potty trained.
NAZZY
You expect her to pick that up in frog form?
ENELCIA
What do you know about children? All you do is kidnap them!
NAZZY
Don’t start talking like Sir JP. You’re better than that.
ENELCIA
I’m in a dungeon and I’ve decided to be grumpy. You can’t talk me out of it.
SOUND: glass bottles clinking
NAZZY
Here, have a soda.
SOUND: glass bottle opening
ENELCIA
Where did those bottles come from?
NAZZY
They’ve been leaning against the bars this whole time. Pay attention.
SOUND: drinking
ENELCIA
Mmm, that looks so sweet and bubbly. Wait. We can’t trust enemy beverages, can we?
NAZZY
Enchanted frogs have a keen sense for poison. Your daughter would be making a lot more noise if there was anything bad in these.
SOUND: glass bottle opening
SOUND: frog croak
SOUND: frog slurping soda
ENELCIA
Look at that. She’s lapping at it. I should learn more about frogs if I’m going to raise one. You must think I’m a terrible mother.
NAZZY
I think you should let your kid be herself. But I get how dragon fear must be worse when you’ve got a baby.
ENELCIA
Babies should be born running. Big flaw in our evolution.
SOUND: glass bottle opening
SOUND: drinking
ENELCIA
Why are the EEK hydrating us?
NAZZY
We’re living bait, I guess. They must be trying to lure people to come after us.
ENELCIA
They want Sir JP, don’t you think? I don’t believe we’re the right bait for him.
NAZZY
Moral code. He’ll come.
ENELCIA
(nervous)
But he shouldn’t, right? Because it’s a trap? We could send a message with that vivicord out there, but we won’t. We won’t let the EEK use us to catch him.
NAZZY
Yeah…but maybe the EEK will tell him they’ve got us, no matter what we do.
ENELCIA
(relieved)
Oh, well. We tried to be brave.
SOUND: sap bugs buzzing
NAZZY
Those bugs are huge!
ENELCIA
They can’t fit through these bars. We’re okay.
SOUND: shrinking magic
NAZZY
Nope. They’re shrinking. They’re coming in.
ENELCIA
Then…my daughter will eat them. No problem.
NAZZY
Uh…
SOUND: sap bugs buzzing
SOUND: frog catching bugs
ENELCIA
That’s right, my darling! Gobble them all up!
SOUND: slower instances of frog catching bugs
ENELCIA
Oh, she filled up on soda. She can’t keep up. Oh, no…
SOUND:multiple sap bug bites
SOUND: sap bugs flying away
NAZZY & ENELCIA
(laughing)
NAZZY
(laughing)
We’ve forgotten something!
ENELCIA
(laughing)
What? What’s that?
NAZZY
(laughing)
That we…need…help? Um, maybe? Danger?
ENELCIA
(laughing)
More snacks!
NAZZY
(laughing)
We’re dangerously low on snacks! That was it!
ENELCIA
(laughing)
We’re low to the ground, too. We’re so slow. I mean we’re so low.
NAZZY
(laughing)
Tiny snacks! Vivicord, go get heeelp!
ENELCIA
(fading out)
No, no, no! No vivicord. It will bring us bark and sticks and moss. It doesn’t know what we like.
SOUND: vivicord running
SOUND: vivicord panting
SOUND: wagon rolling fades out
EXT SKY NEAR CASTLE RUINS
SOUND: Pegasus flying
YEMILINA
(distant)
Mother? I need to talk to you about the future! You’re going to try zapping my friend with your ill-gotten wizard powers and I’m not okay with it!
SOUND: vivicord running
SOUND: Pegasus landing
SOUND: vivicord panting
YEMILINA
Oh my, what a dreadful hurry you’re in. Come here, vivicord. What’s wrong?
SOUND: vivicord panting
SOUND: vivicord static
NAZZY
It’s a dungeon on a wagon…
…The EEK…shrunk me…
SOUND: vivicord static
ENELCIA
I’m in a dungeon—
SOUND: vivicord static
YEMILINA
(gasp)
Nazzy! Enelcia! The EEK have gone too far this time. Arrh, I’ll have to save my leftover yelling for mother.
SOUND: vivicord static
ENELCIA
…can’t fit through these bars…
SOUND: vivicord static
YEMILINA
I must find Rose. She’s small enough to check on them in a tiny dungeon on a tiny wagon.
SOUND: vivicord static
NAZZY
…dangerously low on snacks…
SOUND: vivicord static
YEMILINA
Oh, they’re starving as well! Have I been flying that long? Good gracious!
SOUND: mounting Pegasus
SOUND: Pegasus flying
YEMILINA
I mustn’t bother with you either, dear cave people. No offence. You are a bit distracting in a crisis. So, you know, thank you for following. If no one tiny is squished and no one big is swallowed, you shall hear more. Wish us luck!
SOUND: Pegasus flying
SOUND: closing theme music