S1 E14: Vile EEKY Things

Nazzy and Enelcia communicate with their EEK captors in time to learn why they are being beaten with sticks. Meanwhile, dragons directed by EEK are preparing for an unusually well-coordinated attack on the citizens of Wilzerlott.

Written and Produced by Jennifer Lott

Voice Actors:
Shannon Rea as Nazzy
Nicole Stoner as Enelcia
Kenzie Stoner as Rose
Lynda Williams as Queen Augusta
Jennifer Lott as Yemilina
JP Lott as Sir JP
Tegan Lott as Teloopa
Owen Lott as Wenoburt
Jennifer Lott as King David
Nicole Stoner as Merchant and extra EEK voices
Kenzie Stoner as extra EEK voices

Transcript

SOUND: opening theme music

EXT. EEK DUNGEON

SOUND: vivicord

SOUND: fairy arrives

SOUND: fairy wings

ROSE

(singing)

Wagon-cage, wagon-cage,

Where are you?

SOUND: fairy wings

SOUND: wagon rolling

ENELCIA

(singing)

Here we are, here we are!

So glad it’s you!

SOUND: fairy wings

SOUND: cage bars rattle

ENELCIA

You should sing, too. It’s fun.

NAZZY

I’m too exhausted from all that laughing we did.

ROSE

Are you sappy?

ENELCIA

It’s starting to wear off.

ROSE

Did they hurt you?

NAZZY

Not yet.

SOUND: wagon stopping

SOUND: dungeon door opening

EEK

(evil, squeaky laughter)

ENELCIA

What do you want?

SOUND: stick hitting flesh

ENELCIA

Ow!

SOUND: body shoves

NAZZY

Okay, we’re walking, we’re walking.

EXT. CASTLE RUINS

SOUND: footsteps on dirt

SOUND: buzzing sap bugs

SOUND: stick hitting flesh

NAZZY

Ow!

EEK

(evil, squeaky laughter)

ROSE

Leave my friends alone!

ENELCIA

They don’t seem to care about where you go. Just fly behind us, so you can observe.

SOUND: fairy wings

SOUND: footsteps on dirt

SOUND: crumbling stone

NAZZY

Are you marching us through the rubble of our old castle? Don’t we get to go inside your brand new castle and get locked up in a proper dungeon?

EEK

(evil, squeaky laughter)

SOUND: fairy wings

SOUND: footsteps on dirt

ENELCIA

Seems like a strange coincidence that E.E.K. also stands for ‘eventual everything killer.’ That’s not how you got your name, is it? Have you been around as long as that magic waste box?

EEK

(evil, squeaky laughter)

ENELCIA

Arrrh, is that ‘yes’ or ‘no’? I hate the way you talk!

SOUND: buzzing sap bugs

SOUND: thunderous footfalls

SOUND: pebbles jumping

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(amplified)

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

NAZZY

What’s the Queen doing way up there? I mean I know why ‘up’…because we’re tiny. But why—?

ENELCIA

Confronting the EEK? Rescuing us?

SOUND: buzzing sap bugs

SOUND: multiple bug bites

NAZZY

Or getting bitten by sap bugs.

SOUND: buzzing sap bugs

SOUND: multiple bug bites

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(giggly)

Fear not, my royal sorcerer. I forgive you. Come back to me now and there shall be no consequences for your fleeting moment of disloyalty.

NAZZY

She’s still looking for him? Why would he be under the castle ruins?

ENELCIA

I saw him walk out on her. I don’t think he’s coming back.

EEK

Eeeeeekkk! Eeek, eeeek, eeek!

NAZZY

Finally. The Queen told me you at least said ‘eek.’ Are you introducing yourselves?

EEK

Eekeek, eeeeek, eeeeekeekee, eeeeeeeekkk!

SOUND: fairy wings

ROSE

They want to ask the Queen how she became invincible, so they can do it, too.

ENELCIA

How do you know what they said?

ROSE

My grandma taught me Ancient Fairy.

NAZZY

The EEK speak a fairy language? We thought they were nothing like you, apart from size.

ENELCIA

You must be distantly related.

ROSE

I don’t have an evil laugh.

(sweet laugh)

See? I’m not related to EEK.

ENELCIA

Nah, don’t feel bad. We all have embarrassing relatives. We do.

NAZZY

You must have branched off and evolved separately. The EEK are primitive fairies who never grew wings.

ENELCIA

Uh, primitive? They built their own castle and used magic to shrink us.

NAZZY

I guess I meant emotionally primitive. Rose, why did it take you this long to tell us ‘EEK’ is a word in Ancient Fairy?

ROSE

Because it’s not. It’s only words when you say eeeeek, eeeeeek, eeek, eeeeeek!

ENELCIA

So EEK?

ROSE

Once isn’t a word.

NAZZY

(sigh)

Really?

ENELCIA

I’ll buy it.

NAZZY

Tell them it doesn’t matter how the Queen became invincible. It’s a curse and they shouldn’t want it.

ROSE

They understand you.

EEK

Eeekk, eeeek, eekk, eeeeeeeekkk!

SOUND: sticks hitting flesh

NAZZY and ENELCIA

Ow, oww, owww!

SOUND: sticks hitting flesh

ROSE

They’re going to hit you with sticks until you get the Queen to answer their questions.

SOUND: sticks hitting flesh

SOUND: frog croak

ENELCIA

Ahhh, not my baby!

NAZZY

Stop it! I’ll climb up to the Queen’s ear and ask.

SOUND: climbing

ENELCIA

Let me do it. She hates you.

SOUND: climbing

NAZZY

She’s already sap-poisoned to be truthful.

ENELCIA

Well, I’d better climb to the other ear or the EEK might think I’m not helping.

SOUND: climbing

NAZZY and ENELCIA

How did you become invincible?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(giggly)

Oh my, what loud little people. Inquisitive peasants feel so much like flies in one’s ears, don’t they? How my daughter puts up with them, I’ll never know.

SOUND: feet kicking flesh

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(giggly)

Ooo, they pinch!

ENELCIA

Your invincibility! Spill!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(giggly)

It was tragic! Utterly devastating. My husband and I thought we’d both be ghosts after our natural deaths. As it turned out, one life must go on forever to sustain the eternal living death of the other.

NAZZY

You’re invincible because King David is a ghost?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

And he is a ghost because I am invincible. Ohh…more of those sap bites. My giggles are not overpowering my sorrow. More giggles now. 

SOUND: snapping fingers

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Hop to it.

SOUND: buzzing sap bugs fading out

NAZZY

Your Majesty…King David didn’t die because of…?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Yes, he did. The curse was irreversible. And I know we should have researched it more thoroughly, but there’s no sense…wallowing…now…more bites!

SOUND: snapping fingers

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Drown my veins in sap! I brought you here and you will obey me!

SOUND: buzzing sap bugs fading out

EEK

Eeeek, eekeeeek, eeeeeeeekkk!

SOUND: fairy wings

ROSE

They say they won’t let you be sap-happy until you give them instructions on the curse you used.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Never! You vile EEKY things!

EEK

(evil, squeaky laughter)

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(pleading)

Nazzy, please don’t tell Yemilina about her father.

NAZZY

I think I have to.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

She’ll blame me. He chose the curse, too, but she’ll only blame me.

NAZZY

I’m sure once she talks to him—

QUEEN AUGUSTA

No!

NAZZY

I can’t keep that secret.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

EEK, make the time meddler a ghost and your ruler invincible! I will teach you. I’ve worked out the kinks now, so you can choose which bodies receive each fate.

EEK

(evil, squeaky laughter)

NAZZY

Calm down, Your Majesty. I’ll give you the chance to tell Yemilina first.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

No more chances! I should have broken our ‘no executions’ law a long time ago for you.

ENELCIA

(whispering)

Pssst, Rose, I think it’s time for you to go fly away. Get help.

ROSE

But the Queen’s here.

ENELCIA

Uh, the Queen just offered to make our enemy invincible. I’m thinking different help?

ROSE

Like swords? Singing? Frog guts?

ENELCIA

Bring it all!

SOUND: fairy wings

SOUND: wind

SOUND: EEK laughter fading

SOUND: vivicord fading

EXT. MARKETPLACE

SOUND: vivicord starting up

SOUND: marketplace ambiance

SOUND: footsteps

YEMILINA

(singing)

Poor tiny Enelcia,

Poor tiny Nazzy,

I hate that I’m worried

Yet I must sound jazzy!

SOUND: footsteps

SOUND: empty sack hits counter

TELOOPA

Yeah, hi. Ignore the singing princess. I need beard of goat, toenail of squirrel, saliva of cow, palm sap, huckleberries and spring water collected during a full moon. Pile it all in my sack.

SOUND: bottles clinking into sack

SOUND: drawstring pulled

MERCHANT

That’ll be five gold.

TELOOPA

It’s on the princess’s tab. Bill her when she’s sane.

SOUND: sack dragging on counter

SOUND: fist banging on counter

MERCHANT

Five gold!

TELOOPA

You’re making me sad. You look so cute as a human.

WENOBURT

Do it! Do it!

SIR JP

There’s no need to—

SOUND: magic staff

SOUND: transformation spell

MERCHANT

(brief scream of pain)

SOUND: frog croak

SIR JP

(sigh)

—turn everyone who inconveniences us to frogs.

TELOOPA

I said I was sad about it.

SOUND: frog croak

WENOBURT

Can I keep this one?

SIR JP

He’s not a pet.

WENOBURT

Just until the witch changes him back?

SIR JP

We aren’t taking away his freedom, too.

SOUND: frog croak

TELOOPA

I suggest you quit your job, though. Go find a nice pond with lots of sap bugs to eat.

SOUND: frog croak

WENOBURT

I never get my own frog.

TELOOPA

I’ll pick one you can keep for good.

SIR JP

You will not!

TELOOPA

Some people are better as frogs. It’s just a fact.

SOUND: sack lift

SOUND: bottles clinking in sack

SOUND: footsteps

WENOBURT

What are you gonna make?

SOUND: running child

WENOBURT

I want to see it.

TELOOPA

Ah, ah, no touching. This is my EEK dressing. I almost got dragons to crave trees with my last brilliant invention. So I’ll have no trouble getting them to crave tiny people over us. This sauce will only go well with EEK meat.

SIR JP

How can you possibly know what will go well with EEK when you’ve never tasted EEK?

TELOOPA

A sorcerous knows, Sir JP. I don’t expect you to understand.

YEMILINA

(singing)

Drizzle, drizzle special syrup all over the EEK

Dragons might like them as much as we like pancakes

Will they only gobble, gobble up our foes all week?

Or will we intervene for our shrunken friends’ sakes?

SOUND: ghost appearing

KING DAVID

Daughter, I weep to see you sing so helplessly. There should be genuine joy in your every note.

YEMILINA

(singing)

The sap bugs won’t leave me alone!

My beautiful skin is their second home.

SIR JP

I’m afraid it’s true, Your Majesty. Whenever we encounter a stray sap bug, it is always the princess who gets bitten.

SOUND: frog croak

KING DAVID

How goes the frog army?

TELOOPA

Building up slowly. We’d have a lot more bug eaters if Sir JP wouldn’t question the ethics of every transformation.

KING DAVID

Sir JP, I regret I must ask you to abandon your amphibious concerns. Dragons are gathering at the castle ruins in a most uncharacteristic manner. They are burning maps into the ground. Flying in packs to survey the land. I fear the EEK have assembled them for a planned attack.

WENOBURT

The EEK can make dragons do things?

KING DAVID

EEK appear to be surprisingly persuasive. I predict hungry dragons hunting for scraps are about to become greedy dragons gorging upon us. Perhaps even slaughtering us for sport once their bellies are full.

SIR JP

Dragons don’t normally team up, Your Majesty. If they are truly behaving this way, we are facing an unprecedented battle.

SOUND: horse whinny

SOUND: clanking armor

SIR JP

I’ll go at once.

SOUND: saddle movement

SOUND: fairy arrives

SOUND: fairy wings

WENOBURT

The fairy’s coming!

SOUND: fairy wings

ROSE

I found Nazzy and Enelcia at the castle ruins. The EEK are beating them with sticks.

SOUND: armor clanking

SOUND: saddle movement

ROSE

Wait, don’t go!

SIR JP

I’m on my way to the ruins to save them and everyone else. I don’t need your report.

ROSE

But they had to climb up to the Queen’s ears and the EEK still got mad and the Queen did, too, and—

KING DAVID

Quiet, please, babbling fairy. Someone explain this: is Enelcia not an elf?

YEMILINA

(singing:)

Yes, father. I…

(throat clearing)

(speaking:)

I told you that. Oh, I’ve stopped singing completely! Not a single lingering word bursting out as music. My immune system is doing so much better lately.

KING DAVID

Why has an elf’s capture not been used to recruit giants to our cause?

YEMILINA

Giants aren’t our go-to army. They never truly acknowledged you as their king.

KING DAVID

They are independent. They pay less attention to dragon problems because their death-by-dragon rate is so much lower than that of most beings in Wilzerlott.

YEMILINA

Exactly. So why—

KING DAVID

The elves are our best asset for getting giants more involved in our community. Giants typically drop whatever they are doing to come to the aid of even a single elf. I will inform them of Enelcia’s capture.

SOUND: ghost flying

SIR JP

I’m going now. Protect the princess and Wenoburt.

TELOOPA

You trust me that much? I’m honored.

WENOBURT

I will fight the dragons with you, Sir JP!

SIR JP

No, you’re—

SOUND: flying dragons

TELOOPA

Or he might be…since the dragons are coming to us.

SOUND: flying dragons

SOUND: roaring dragons

SOUND: fire breathing

SOUND: EEK laughter

YEMILINA

There are EEK riding those dragons…oh my God…

SOUND: saddle movement

SOUND: clanking armor

SOUND: feet hit ground

YEMILINA

Oh, don’t get off your horse on my account. I-I don’t need reassurance.

SIR JP

I want a quick word. It’s hard to talk to you when you’re singing uncontrollably.

YEMILINA

I’m sorry I sang so long.

SIR JP

I like the way your chest expands when you sing.

YEMILINA

You do?

SIR JP

And I’ll need more luck right now than ever before…so…if you don’t mind…

YEMILINA

Mind what?

SOUND: kissing

YEMILINA

(contented sigh)

I don’t mind a bit. You can have all the luck in my lips!

SOUND: kissing

SOUND: dragon roaring

SOUND: clanking armor

SOUND: saddle movement

SOUND: horse whine

SOUND: horse galloping

YEMILINA

Dragons…yes…a very good reason not to stay right here and keep kissing me.

SOUND: dragon roaring

SOUND: horse galloping

YEMILINA

Farewell, cave people of the future. Thank you for listening. I know how private Sir JP is about his feelings, so I’d best cut you off now, in case he gets the urge to dash back over here and express them more.

SOUND: roaring dragons

SOUND: running footsteps

YEMILINA

Of course, there’s a chance that what I’m really cutting you off from is the beginning of an epic battle. A battle which may decide our fate – whether we save the kingdom once and for all…or destroy it beyond recovery.

SOUND: roaring dragons

SOUND: clanking armor

SOUND: sword unsheathed

YEMILINA

Well, even if this does turn out to be that pivotal moment, it would be awkward to continue now that I’ve already said goodbye to you, wouldn’t it? So we’ll start again next time.

SOUND: dragon flames

SOUND: vivicord yelp

YEMILINA

If the vivicord is not caught in the cross-flames, you shall at least hear how we triumph or perish. Wish us luck!

SOUND: closing theme music