S2 E3: Long Fall the Queen

Mijar confronts his ex-employer Queen Augusta, and announces a vindictive purpose for his pack of enchanted wolves.

Written and Produced by Jennifer Lott

Voice Actors
Tegan Lott as Teloopa
Jamie Oates as Mijar
Jennifer Lott as Yemilina
Lynda Williams as Queen Augusta
Nicole Stoner as Enelcia
Owen Lott as Wenoburt
Kenzie Stoner as Rose
Shannon Rea as Nazzy
Jennifer Lott as King David
Ivy Lott as Child Yemilina

Transcript

EXT. ENCHANTED FOREST

SOUND: Opening theme music

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Teleportation arrival

SOUND: Footsteps

TELOOPA

I just tracked a banishment spell here. Who got banished?

YEMILINA

Sir JP! Mijar snuck up on us and poofed him far away! Where were you?

TELOOPA

You know where I was.

YEMILINA

Why did it take so long?

TELOOPA

It didn’t. You’re only saying that because something bad happened.

SOUND: Tracking magic

YEMILINA

What? What did that tracking spell tell you? What!

TELOOPA

I don’t know. There were other spells mixed up inside the banishment one. Mijar is deliberately tangling his spells so I can’t interpret everything about them.

SOUND: Cape woosh

MIJAR

(evil laugh)

TELOOPA

Stop that! We know you did a maniacal thing. We don’t need your laugh.

SOUND: Cape woosh

SOUND: Rustling foliage

TELOOPA

If you don’t come out right now and say something diplomatic, I’m going to turn you into a flower, pick you, and leave you to wither in a dry vase.

YEMILINA

Oh no, you can’t do that! Only he knows where Sir JP—

SOUND: Cape woosh

SOUND: Rustling foliage

MIJAR

Diplomatic? How about ‘take heart, weaklings, for I will reshape your pitiful lives to be—’

TELOOPA

Nope.

SOUND: Double magic staff taps

SOUND: Transformation spell

SOUND: Shield magic

SOUND: Rebounding magic

SOUND: Magic puffs

SOUND: Transformation spell

MIJAR

Hah! Never throw a transformation spell at an expert’s magical shield. Your spell rebounded upon you!

TELOOPA

Did not. I blocked it.

MIJAR

Not entirely.

SOUND: Fast sprouting flowers

SOUND: Flapping ears

SOUND: Double ear pops

SOUND: Fairy wings

ROSE

Ahh, your ears!

ENELCIA and YEMILINA

(gasp)

WENOBURT

Ooo, I’ve never seen flowers grow out of somebody’s ears before! Is your head going to explode?

ROSE

I’ll pick them for you before they get heavy.

SOUND: Fairy wings

SOUND: Picking flowers

SOUND: Flapping ears

SOUND: Louder fairy wings

TELOOPA

(groan)

It’s fine. Buzz off.

MIJAR

You did well. Any other witch your age would be a helpless shrub.

TELOOPA

I could have stopped it. I wanted flowers to sprout endlessly from my ears. It’s a constant supply of potion ingredients.

SOUND: Fast sprouting flowers

SOUND: Flapping ears

TELOOPA

And it doesn’t feel weird! I should have done this sooner.

MIJAR

You don’t know the counter spell, do you?

TELOOPA

I’m enjoying it I said! I’ll just cast a completely unrelated spell now. Just for fun. 

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Air pressure burst

MIJAR

That wasn’t the correct counter spell. It would have worked if your ears were sprouting ferns.

TELOOPA

I don’t care.

SOUND: Fast sprouting flowers

YEMILINA

Mijar, I’ll give you the Queen. You can lock her in a sewer for eternity. Just give Sir JP back to us, please! Think of the dragon attacks. Who will chop off dragon heads to keep our death toll down?

WENOBURT

Me! Me, me! Choose me!

MIJAR

Hmm…I think that will amuse me.

SOUND: Growing spell

ENELCIA

Ahh, too tall! You’re too young to be that tall.

MIJAR

Sir Wenoburt shall slay dragons.

YEMILINA

Youcan’t knight people!

MIJAR

He has the previous slayer’s height and weapons.

YEMILINA

He hasn’t the strength or the deep, threatening voice.

WENOBURT

I can threaten dragons like a knight! 

(improv)

MIJAR

You’re welcome.

YEMILINA

I want Sir JP!

SOUND: Horse whinny

SOUND: Footsteps

MIJAR

(sniff)

Ugh, his saddlebags are putrid. You can’t miss him that much.

YEMILINA

Of course I do! He was sick the day they taught saddlebag etiquette in Knight school.

MIJAR

It’s not fair to his horse.

SOUND: Fairy wings

ROSE

I’ll pick some flowers for his horse to sniff.

SOUND: Picking flowers

SOUND: Fairy wings

TELOOPA

Get off me! 

SOUND: Swat

ROSE

(shriek)

TELOOPA

They smell like my ear wax. No horse wants that.

SOUND: Horse whinny

WENOBURT

Can I ride you? I can keep you company when you miss Sir JP.

SOUND: Horse snort

SOUND: Saddle movement

SOUND: Sword clatter

SOUND: Horse stomps

ENELICA

Whoa. Easy. At least give him a carrot to break the ice.

WENOBURT

Can you change your flowers into carrots, Teloopa? I’ll wash them for Sir JP’s horse.

TELOOPA

Arrh, you silly…wait. Instead of stopping this…

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Transformation spell

SOUND: Flapping ears

SOUND: Dropping coins

TELOOPA

(groans of pain)

MIJAR

Gold coins pouring from your ears is a tad painful, isn’t it?

TELOOPA

Worth it.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Transformation spell

SOUND: Soap bubbles popping

SOUND: Fairy wings

ROSE

Bubbles!

SOUND: Saddle movement

SOUND: Sword clatter

WENOBURT

I want to pop the bubbles! Come on, horsey, giddy up! Get the bubbles!

SOUND: Horse stomps

SOUND: Horse whinny

SOUND: Soap bubbles popping

TELOOPA

Oh, great. Now I’ll have every infantile thing in the kingdom trailing me.

SOUND: Cape woosh

MIJAR

I will see you at dawn for my ceremony.

YEMILINA

What was the point of that note if you were planning to taunt us in person?

MIJAR

I was taunted. The little witch threatened me just as I was about to depart peacefully.

SOUND: Footsteps

YEMILINA

(whisper)

He called you ‘Royal Sorceress’ in his note, Teloopa. He respects you more than he pretends.

MIJAR

She cannot hear whispers with her ears bubbling like that. Speak up.

YEMILINA

It’s none of your business how I interpret you!

SOUND: Pegasus flying

YEMILINA

Oh no!

ENELCIA

The Queen’s Pegasus, right?

YEMILINA

She can only make this worse! Oh, go away!

SOUND: Pegasus landing

SOUND: Saddle movement

QUEEN AUGUSTA

There you are! You must have had trouble finding me after the castle was destroyed. You’ve been replaced, I’m afraid. You really should have tried harder to—

MIJAR

How typical of your Royal Smugness to assume I’ve been looking for you. Were it not for your irritating invincibility, you would have become dust on the wind the day I quit.

YEMILINA

I still like my sewer idea the best. It’s superior suffering even if death were an option.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Now just a minute. You can’t turn my daughter against me. As my loyal subject—

MIJAR

I am no such thing!

YEMILINA

And he had nothing to do with me turning against you. You did that to yourself.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

We are blood kin, Yemilina! You cannot erase me from your life.

YEMILINA

Watch me!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to use this, but you leave me no choice.

SOUND: Magic flag waving

MIJAR

(amused laughing)

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(hopeful)

Yemilina, Darling…?

YEMILINA

Don’t show me that wretched flag like it means something! You’re a cosmic mistake!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(gasp)

How…?

MIJAR

Your daughter was not in Wilzerlott when I enchanted that flag. There is no ‘Devotion to the Crown’ magic in her system for the flag to refresh.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Refresh? She’s here now and I just waved it. It should be working.

MIJAR

If won’t affect anyone who has lived ten years beyond the day I enchanted it. The magic I planted in people expired, and the flag can’t refresh expired seeds.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Expired? How could that be? It made a magic sound when I waved it.

MIJAR

Yes, that sound gave you a silly grin, didn’t it! False satisfaction. So proud, so useless…

TELOOPA

Why did you give ‘Devotion to the Crown’ magic an expiry date?

MIJAR

Even in my naïve youth, I knew power should be temporary.

TELOOPA

You’ll be relieved when we defeat you, then.

MIJAR

I am the exception.

SOUND: Horse trotting

SOUND: Saddle movement

SOUND: Footsteps

WENOBURT

Your Majesty! As your new dragon slayer, I humbly offer my life. May I wave that flag for you?

SOUND: Residual flag magic

ENELCIA

Whoa, why is he being devoted?

MIJAR

Odd. A child that young can’t have been around when I planted devotion seeds.

ENELCIA

He’s from the past.

MIJAR

Ah, that explains it. The first flag wave is still in his system.

ENELCIA

And now it’s been…refreshed?

WENOBURT

Let me lift your trailing robe, Your Majesty. I’ll carry it everywhere you go.

SOUND: Robe shifting

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Let me be, you strange nuisance. Oh! What an absurdly child-like man you are.

ENELCIA

No, he’s an absurdly tall child.

WENOBURT

Wenoburt at your service.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Who?

YEMILINA

You already know him! What is wrong with you?

MIJAR

So many things.

WENOBURT

Please let me feed your Pegasus, Your Majesty!

SOUND: Fairy wings

ROSE

You’re supposed to be comforting Sir JP’s horse. The Pegasus doesn’t need you.

SOUND: Louder fairy wings

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Shoo, fairy! You’re flying too close.

WENOBURT

I will swat that fairy for you, Your Majesty! Hi-ya!

SOUND: Sword whooshes

ROSE

Ahh!

SOUND: Departing fairy

TELOOPA

Okay, so you’ve waved a magic flag and your daughter still hates you. Time to be on your way, don’t you think, Your Majes—?

MIJAR

No! Sarcastic titles only. We are rebelling! 

TELOOPA

We? I thought I was on your list.

MIJAR

I’m giving you a second chance.

TELOOPA

Well, I’m not picking sides.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

You most certainly are, Sorceress! You’re on my side. You rely on me for your gold.

MIJAR

She can produce that through her ear canals. She just did so.

SOUND: Jingling coins

TELOOPA

Conjured or transformed wealth only lasts twenty-four hours. After I piss off my least favourite vendors, I’ll need real gold again.

MIJAR

She doesn’t know that. Teach the Queen nothing about magic. It will go to her bloated head.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Mijar—

MIJAR

You know my name, hah! Who taught you? Another servant’s child your daughter befriended?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I’ve always known your name. It was inappropriate to address you by it.

ENELCIA

That tracks. She was very uncomfortable when my name wasn’t ‘Gardener.’

WENOBURT

I will be your gardener, Your Majesty. Show me the weeds.

SOUND: Footsteps on sticks and leaves

WENOBURT

I will slay them all! Hi-ya!

SOUND: Sword whacking shrubbery

ENELCIA

Whoa, easy! Wow. I think you’ve got like ten new servants in one here.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I don’t want his devotion. He’s doing it wrong!

SOUND: Sword drag and swipe

WENOBURT

Glory to the Queen!

MIJAR

Obscurity to the Queen! Long may she fall into poverty and obscurity!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Attack him, Sorceress!

TELOOPA

I already tried. I need to work the kinks out of that rebounding shield of his. Give me an hour.

MIJAR

You will require a lifetime.

SOUND: Distant wolf howls

MIJAR

Princess, I feel the need to inform you that you are about to be in grave danger.

YEMILINA

What? Why?

MIJAR

I have been transforming convicted frogs into wolves all over Wilzerlott. I’m afraid I’ve burdened my wolf pack with the singular mission of tearing you to pieces.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(shocked gasp)

YEMILINA

That’s not fair!

MIJAR

You’re welcome to start running if you like. Enjoy your hammering heartbeat for as long as you can.

YEMILINA
But I’m on your side! Poverty and obscurity to the Queen! Long fall the Queen!

MIJAR

Appreciated. However, the Queen is best punished through those she cares for. With that list of people being so very, very short…I can’t pick and choose.

SOUND: Running wolves

SOUND: Growling wolves

QUEEN AUGUSTA, TELOOPA, ENELCIA and WENOBURT

(gasps)

YEMILINA

(screaming)

SOUND: Running

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Yemilina! No! Get behind me, Darling! Come here!

SOUND: Overlapping running

SOUND: Bubbles

SOUND: Teleportation

TELOOPA

Princess, grab my hand!

YEMILINA

(screaming)

SOUND: Growling wolves

SOUND: Overlapping running

SOUND: Bubbles

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Teleportation departure and arrival

TELOOPA

Stop running and grab my hand! I can’t teleport you if you won’t—

YEMILINA

(screaming)

TELOOPA

Arrrh, fly away then!

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Transformation spell

YEMILINA

(gasp of pain)

SOUND: Cooing dove

SOUND: Snapping wolves

SOUND: Flapping dove

SOUND: Teleportation arrival

MIJAR

She can’t fly forever. They will catch her in one snap when she alights.

TELOOPA

Going to shrink all the trees, are you? Or can those wolves climb?

SOUND: Approaching footsteps

ENELCIA

(panting)

What did I miss?

TELOOPA

I turned the princess into a dove. Mijar is pretending that won’t keep her above the brainwashed jaws of death.

SOUND: Pegasus flying

ENELCIA

(calling out)

We don’t need your Pegasus! Your daughter’s a bird now!

QUEEN AUGUSTA

(distant)

My poor baby!

MIJAR

The princess will not escape indefinitely. I made sure of that.

TELOOPA

Sure, you got her boyfriend out of the way. Half prepared. What about her rare and powerful best friend?

MIJAR

The time traveller is missing – presumed dead.

TELOOPA

She’ll be back.

ENELCIA

But you said Nazzy probably got herself kill—

TELOOPA

(whisper)

Shh, I was an optimist. Go with it.

MIJAR

Being a time traveler, surviving with her powers intact can only mean she would be here by now. Her absence proves she won’t come back.

TELOOPA

Someday we’ll have a recording to prove you wrong.



EXT – ROWBOAT ON THE OCEAN

SOUND: Ocean waves

SOUND: Paddles dipping

SOUND: Water lapping

NAZZY

Okay, fair listeners. I don’t know for sure if you can hear this, but since there is a powerful computer somewhere nearby and the Mist People had it recording before ‘ocean thieves’ took it…well, maybe you can hear me. All you need to know is that we are rowing out to find the place where the computer sank so we can retrieve it with high-tech pearl nets.

SOUND: Mist People Ambiance

MIST PEOPLE

Child home.

NAZZY

Yes, I should take her home. Say goodbye for now, Little Yemmy.

CHILD YEMILINA

Daddy, I want to stay.

SOUND: Ghost flying

KING DAVID
Sweetheart, what if the computer should be too heavy and overturn the boat? It is such a small boat. You’re safer at home with my living self, away from this vast ocean of chaos.

NAZZY

Come along, I’ll take you back.

CHILD YEMILINA

(crying)

No, let me stay. Please let me stay. I don’t want to miss everything!

KING DAVID

Oh no! My angel mustn’t cry.

CHILD YEMILINA
Make her let me stay, daddy.

KING DAVID

She can stay.

NAZZY

Don’t you think you should decide what’s safest for her, Your Majesty? Don’t let her decide just because she’s sad. She’s only six.

KING DAVID

Her desires rule my heart. I can’t disappoint her. You must find a little island for her, where she can watch.

NAZZY

Well…

SOUND: Rowing

NAZZY

Alright, there’s this island here. Just while I’m getting the computer. Come, Yemmy, up on the shore you go.

SOUND: Boat rocking

SOUND: Footsteps on sand

SOUND: Mist people ambiance

MIST PEOPLE

Child higher.

NAZZY

You said that when we got in the boat. Why does she have to be—

MIST PEOPLE

Climb rocks.

CHILD YEMILINA
Okay, cloud faces. I can climb high.

SOUND: Shifting rocks

SOUND: Climbing feet

MIST PEOPLE

Good girl.

SOUND: Mist people ambiance

NAZZY

I’ll try lowering this net. It will automatically attach to the computer when it comes within range, right?

SOUND: Mist people ambiance

MIST PEOPLE

Quiet please.

NAZZY

I think I can manage quiet now that the geese have stopped following us.

MIST PEOPLE

Scared geese.

NAZZY

Why were they scared?

MIST PEOPLE

Mean fish.

NAZZY

Right, you like geese better. I still don’t get that.

SOUND: Pearl net lowering

SOUND: Lapping water

SOUND: Magnetic click

SOUND: Computer ambiance

SOUND: Object shifting underwater

NAZZY

I think I’ve got it. Doesn’t feel too heavy.

SOUND: Pearl net rising

SOUND: Object shifting underwater

SOUND: Monster body slam on water

SOUND: Crashing waves

SOUND: Roaring and gurgling

SOUND: Monster fish chomps

CHILD YEMILINA
(scream)

SOUND: Ghost flying

KING DAVID

Stay up there, angel! Don’t you move!

NAZZY

(scared)

What is that thing?

SOUND: Mist people ambiance

MIST PEOPLE

Mean fish.

NAZZY

Well, that’s putting it mildly. I pictured piranhas when you said that.

SOUND: Crashing waves

SOUND: Monster fish chomps

SOUND: Mist people ambiance

MIST PEOPLE

Big fish.

NAZZY

But you can’t say three words at once, so I’m going to make a lot of wrong guesses.

SOUND: Crashing waves

SOUND: Monster fish chomps

NAZZY

Uh, goodbye fair listeners! Wish—

SOUND: Crashing waves

SOUND: Monster fish chomps

NAZZY

Wish me survival!

SOUND: Monster fish chomp

SOUND: Closing theme music