S3 E4: Tuneful Tugs

Nazzy consults a giantess in her quest for dragon-destroying bugs. Meanwhile, Arnold's Mind Anomaly pulls in more song puzzles, including a teapot that might explode without lyrics. 

Written and produced by Jennifer Lott

Voice Actors:

Shannon Rea as Nazzy

Lisa Van Gool as Pisanna

Tegan Lott as Teloopa

Jennifer Lott as Yemilina

Nicole Stoner as Enelcia

Owen Lott as Wenoburt

Tory Lott as Toddler Giant

Sydney Anderson as Chabelle

Jennifer Lott as King David

Transcript

SOUND: Opening theme music

EXT. GIANTS’ VILLAGE

SOUND: Time travel – arriving

SOUND: Vivicord

SOUND: Wind in grass

SOUND: Village ambience

SOUND: Distant and close giant footsteps

NAZZY

I’m here to consult with the giants. They’re all going about their morning chores, but I won’t get stepped on, because I’m standing in their Visitors’ Gazebo. It’s a sheltered entrance to their village, and it comes up to the average giant’s knee. So far, only our toddler friend has noticed me in here. He has to lower his head a little to look at me, but it’s much easier for him to greet visitors.

SOUND: Giant footsteps approaching

NAZZY

Hi there!

TODDLER GIANT

Hi, Nazzy.

NAZZY

Do you know where I can find the sorceress Chabelle? I have a few questions for her.

TODDLER GIANT

My mommy is looking after elf friend’s baby. Do you have a baby for us to look after?

NAZZY

No. Your mommy isn’t Chabelle, is she?

TODDLER GIANT

Mommy? Do you have any bells for the time traveller? She wants bells.

NAZZY

No, the sorceress. The one who uses magic.

TODDLER GIANT

Mommy, she wants magic bells.

NAZZY

Chabelle – a lady who lives here. Maybe your mommy knows her? That’s your mommy, right? Can you ask her…oh, she looks busy.

SOUND: Toddler fussing

SOUND: Giant shushing

SOUND: Giant whooping

SOUND: Toddler giggling

SOUND: Giant sighing

TODDLER GIANT

Baby elf got stinky. Mommy is cheering her up while someone else changes the diaper.

NAZZY

I’m sorry Enelcia isn’t back yet. I don’t think she meant to be away this long. It’s an unexpected side effect of her mission.

TODDLER GIANT

We love baby elf.

SOUND: Toddler giggling

SOUND: Giant laughing

NAZZY

That’s good. Listen, can you find the lady making potions? You know what a cauldron looks like.

TODDLER GIANT

You should make a potion with poop in it. We have fresh baby poop. Tiny poop.

NAZZY

No offense, but this isn’t helping me. I better walk through your village and see if I can—

TODDLER GIANT

Don’t get squashed! I will give you a piggyback ride.

NAZZY

You’re still very young. Just because you’re bigger than me doesn’t mean you’re quite strong enough to — whoa!

SOUND: Body thump

TODDLER GIANT

You are not heavy.

NAZZY

Uh…okay. This is going alright. That way, please.

SOUND: Individual giant footsteps

SOUND: Background giant footsteps

SOUND: Bubbling potion

SOUND: Spoon stirring

NAZZY

Chabelle?

CHABELLE

Yes? Where are you? Oh, hello.

TODDLER GIANT

She is looking for your bells.

CHABELLE

Put her down on that chair beside my low stool.

TODDLER GIANT

Big chair for you, little friend.

SOUND: Light footsteps on wicker

SOUND: Heavy body sitting on stool

CHABELLE

Why don’t you go check on your mother?

TODDLER GIANT

Mommy? Is elf baby crying?

SOUND: Individual giant footstepsfading out

NAZZY

I’ve heard a lot about you, but I’m afraid we’ve never been properly introduced. I’m Nazzy.

CHABELLE

Yes, I’ve heard of you, too. What brings you here?

NAZZY

Well, there’s something Queen Augusta tried to do once that might actually be a good idea.

CHABELLE

How remarkable. Are you certain?

NAZZY

No. I promise I’m taking it slow. She tried to bring other worldly insects to Wilzerlott to spread a dragons-only plague. Wipe them out.

CHABELLE

Dragons show us no mercy. I understand the logic.

NAZZY

You had different hopes for them at one time, didn’t you?

CHABELLE

I entertained the notion that they could be taught to feed upon non-sentient life. I’m not the only sorceress who did. But they have no interest in that path. I’d choose their extinction over our constant peril.

NAZZY

That’s good to know. For now, I’m just trying to find out if it can be done.

CHABELLE

You say the queen ‘tried’? What was her result?

NAZZY

Sap bugs.

CHABELLE

Decidedly the wrong kind. I detest those things.

NAZZY

The method of opening the portal might make all the difference in what can and cannot be summoned to our world. The queen didn’t use an incantation. She went a bit overboard to tell the truth. Lots of dark symbols and potions. In hindsight, her research points to a simpler spell – preferably cast by one legitimate sorceress. Everything the queen used had magical properties baked in by other people. She wasn’t the right person to wield any of that power, and the sap bugs were attracted to that clash – ambition without competence.

CHABELLE

Fascinating…are you asking me to attempt the spell? Do you know what the spell is?

NAZZY

I only have guesses from the queen herself. This incantation made me think of you.

SOUND: Paper rustling

NAZZY

Correct me if I’m wrong: this is the spell that creates hex-freeze lava?

CHABELLE

You are not wrong.

NAZZY

As far as I know, you were the first to start using it, but the incantation existed long before that. The queen found it somewhere.

CHABELLE

I was not the first to utter that incantation. I was the first to use it in a controlled setting.

NAZZY

Can you tell me more about your process? Are there potentially other ways it can be used?

CHABELLE

I have time to go over it in detail, if you do.

NAZZY

I absolutely do. Thank you.

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

NAZZY

Do you need a break, vivicord?

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

NAZZY

Oh, you’re meeting your friend? Now is fine. Can you come to the Mind Anomaly when you’re done?

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

NAZZY

Great. Oh, and please don’t keep recording while you’re eating.

SOUND: Vivicord retreating footsteps

SOUND: Sticks snapping

SOUND: Brief crunchy chewing

SOUND: Vivicord cuts out

EXT. ENCHANTED FOREST

SOUND: Vivicord resumes

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Distant water fountains and water slides

SOUND: Foliage inflating

SOUND: Overlapping flute tunes

NAZZY

Hello again, fair listeners. I’ll summarize my research for you later. Right now, I’m standing outside the Mind Anomaly. There’s a strange, almost magnetic force coming from it. It’s attracting things with no discernable pattern. A lamb – all the way from a distant farm. A grandfather clock, and a mouse got stuck to that. There were watermelons rolling towards it for a while.

SOUND: Ghost appearing

NAZZY

King David!

KING DAVID

I trust you are working hard to extract my daughter from that Mind Anomaly? The fairies tell me it has been days since she and four others entered it. No one has emerged.

NAZZY

I don’t think it’s been days for the people inside. The vivicord that went with them has only come out to eat once. Seeing as vivicords are grazers, he’d be popping out a lot more often if time moved the same in there.

KING DAVID

My daughter will not starve in the days that pass out here. That is small comfort.

NAZZY

Can you tell me anything about the Pus Bugs the queen was trying to summon from another dimension? I’m trying to find out where she left off with her research.

KING DAVID

Alas, she did not confide in me.

NAZZY

That’s too bad. Try not to worry about the Mind Anomaly. I’ve seen the caveman at later points in his life and there’s nothing to imply his mind would be especially dangerous. No worse than out here, really.

KING DAVID

The stranger’s anomaly defies all I understand about magic. Even I – a ghost passing through matter as routinely as I used to breathe – even I cannot penetrate the exterior of that bizarre place. You are far more powerful than I. You must risk using your power to get Yemilina and my unborn grandbaby out.

NAZZY

I’m not out here weighing the risks. I can’t get in either. It’s almost as if the anomaly is locked outside of time. Even when I try to reach it through a time it didn’t yet exist…well, its existence without me inside it just keeps happening.

KING DAVID

You are over explaining. I’ll spare no thoughts for your wibbly wobbly time mechanics.

NAZZY

I’ve been getting that a lot lately.

KING DAVID

Simply tell me you will save my daughter. You will find a way.

NAZZY

Well, a vivicord got in. And a lamb, and a mouse. There might be a few creatures that are able to access the place.

KING DAVID

I have been watching. Many creatures are drawn in by the caveman’s mind. He has musical thoughts coded with words unknown to any from this time. You must warn the witch about the five frogs.

NAZZY

You saw frogs go in?

KING DAVID

Five. It was a tune that pulled them in.

(hums “five green and speckled frogs”)

NAZZY

I don’t know that tune, but there is someone from this time who might. Pisanna has already decoded a monkey tune. She’s in there helping.

KING DAVID

The song I heard must be a tale of men who fell victim to the zaps of an angry witch they once fancied.

NAZZY

What? You mean the frogs you saw—

KING DAVID

Not truly frogs. Not their minds.

NAZZY

Teloopa’s ex-boyfriends! How can you be sure it’s them?

KING DAVID

Because I watched them in their support group. They were having a meeting nearby when the anomaly pulled five of them in.

NAZZY

(sigh)

I’ve seen those meetings. It’s hard to mistake them for real frogs when they start writing in the dirt.

KING DAVID

They have spent bitter years hating Teloopa. The close quarters in such an unstable magical place…there’s no telling what they’ll do.

NAZZY

I’d worry more about them than her, in any situation.

KING DAVID

It is a powerful thing to be caught in the very thoughts of a place. Frogs that become part of the anomaly may well resist the witch’s spells.

NAZZY

So you think a song about frogs will empower them?

KING DAVID

And I don’t want Yemilina caught in the crossfire. You have to get her out of there!

NAZZY

I would if I could. Like I said, the anomaly is resisting me. I guess, according to your theory, it’s because there are no time-travelling songs rattling around in that caveman’s head.

KING DAVID

There better not be one about frogs exacting vengeance upon the witch who took their lives as men away.

NAZZY

If I remember correctly, the cavepeople’s legends lean more towards frogs transforming into princes when they’re kissed by princesses.

KING DAVID

Princess kisses? No! The anomaly wouldn’t dare! Yemilina’s kisses are sacred, meant only for the kingdom’s babies and the man with whom she has chosen to make her own babies.

NAZZY

I know. I’m just saying—

KING DAVID

If that caveman’s anomaly tries throwing frogs at my daughter’s lips, I will haunt the misguided fool until his dying day. You must save her, Nazzy!

NAZZY

How many times do I have to tell you—

KING DAVID

Sir JP must save her!

NAZZY

Yes, well, he does tend to get jealous. Again, if the frogs try anything, I’d worry way more about what happens to them.

KING DAVID

The witch doesn’t know they are in there. They have the element of surprise.

NAZZY

I guess I could send another vivicord in to warn her. Can you go find your friend?

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

NAZZY

Thanks.

SOUND: Vivicord retreating footsteps

SOUND: Vivicord approaching footsteps

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

NAZZY

Hi. Can you please find Teloopa and warn her that five of her ex-boyfriends got pulled into that anomaly with her? They might be more trouble than she thinks.

SOUND: Giant footsteps

SOUND: Teapot dragging on dirt

TODDLER GIANT

Wait for me, teapot! I need to splash water on you.

NAZZY

It’s being pulled into the anomaly. Is it from your village? It doesn’t look so big.

TODDLER GIANT

It’s my little teapot.

NAZZY

Oh, that’s why. Well, I’m sorry, we might have to get you a new—

TODDLER GIANT

There’s bad rain in that place! Chabelle says so.

NAZZY

In the anomaly? Has she found a way to see in there?

TODDLER GIANT

Her has magic feelings. Her feels bad rain coming.

SOUND: Giant footsteps

SOUND: Sloshing liquid

NAZZY

Okay...so what’s that you’ve got?

TODDLER GIANT

She gave me a potion for the teapot. My little teapot can stop the bad rain.

SOUND: Popping cork

SOUND: Pouring liquid

SOUND: Magic suction

SOUND: Teapot movement

NAZZY

What did that potion do? Is the teapot magic now?

TODDLER GIANT

What the teapot’s gonna do is it’s gonna suck up the bad rain. The rain will still be bad. They have to boil it and then it will be good.

NAZZY

But they won’t know that. Vivicord? Oh, he’s already gone in. I have some parchment. I’ll put a note under the teapot’s lid.

SOUND: Paper rustling

SOUND: Teapot dragging on dirt

TODDLER GIANT

Hurry, it’s going in!

SOUND: Scratching quill

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt

SOUND: Teapot lid lifting and dropping

NAZZY

There.

SOUND: Magic wind

SOUND: Paper rubbing on porcelain

NAZZY

My note! Why did it change? What does it say now?

SOUND: Teapot dragging on dirt

SOUND: Running footsteps

SOUND: Rubber friction

SOUND: Teapot pulled through tight balloons

NAZZY

(sigh)

It’s gone in.

KING DAVID

I saw the new words. The anomaly wants the teapot’s song to be sung. The song will instruct them.

NAZZY

Wait, does the song really match the instructions for neutralizing the poison?

KING DAVID

It’s all within one mind. Poison rain is infiltrating the caveman’s psyche, and the teapot he has pulled in serves as his tiny symbol of hope.

NAZZY

I suppose that does fit them together. I get it now.

KING DAVID

But will they?

NAZZY

As long as Pisanna knows the lyrics…

SOUND: Overlapping flute tunes with “I’m a Little Teapot” getting louder

SOUND: “I’m a Little Teapot” fading out

EXT. STAINED GLASS FOREST

SOUND: “I’m a Little Teapot” fading in

SOUND: Stained glass mind ambiance

SOUND: Gentle rain on glass

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps on wet glass

WENOBURT

(wobbling noise)

It’s getting as slippery as that waterspout in here.

SOUND: Feet sliding on wet glass

WENOBURT

Ow! Why is everything made of rainbow glass, too?

SOUND: Feet sliding on wet glass

WENOBURT

Ow, ow, ow…ahhhh!

PISANNA

(gasp)

It’s my art! At least…some of it is.

SOUND: Footsteps stop

PISANNA

I made this one.

SOUND: Footstep splash

PISANNA

And that one.

SOUND: Footstep splash

ENELCIA

I’m guessing this pane is a picture of Arnold? He looks terrified.

PISANNA

That’s him, but I didn’t make that one. He must be imagining art in my style, using it to sort out his thoughts. I wonder if he knows I’m here.

SOUND: Pouring rain on glass                                 

SOUND: Gas rising

ALL

(coughing)

TELOOPA

(coughing)

This rain is poisonous. Don’t drink it.

YEMILINA

What about breathing in those fumes it’s making? Why is it—?

(breaks off coughing)

SOUND: Rubber friction

SOUND: Teapot dragging on glass

SOUND: Teapot lid lifting up

WENOBURT

(coughing)

Where’d that teapot come from?

SOUND: Rain and gas fade abruptly

SOUND: Liquid pouring into teapot

SOUND: Teapot lid clinking down

WENOBURT

Whoa, all the poison rain fits inside the teapot! That’s awesome!

ENELCIA

A note fell beside it. Look!

SOUND: Picking up wet paper

YEMILINA

That’s Nazzy’s writing, but it says…‘lyrics neutralize poison.’ Does that mean we need to know a teapot song to make this thing safe?

SOUND: Teapot rattling

ENELCIA

Pisanna, you better think fast. That is a toy teapot from the giant village. It can’t be tough enough to hold toxic fluid for long.

PISANNA

I remember something about a teapot. It’s short or…stout, but I don’t remember anything actionable. It’s been too long.

YEMILINA

If Nazzy knew enough to write a note, why wouldn’t she just tell us exactly what to do?

TELOOPA

Her message could have got garbled on its way in. This place kind of…does stuff.

YEMILINA

As our resident magic expert, can’t you give a better explanation that that? Our listeners are counting on us to rationalize what might otherwise seem implausible.

TELOOPA

Oh, I’m sorry, do the people with zero magic in their lives find us confusing? Let’s drop all our real problems and make them some charts.

YEMILINA

That hardly seems helpful when their connection to us is audio.

TELOOPA

Don’t you dare ignore my sarcasm.

ENELCIA

Take it easy, guys.

TELOOPA

No, you’re right, princess. I should tease the cavepeople. They think they’re better than us, but they’re blind and stupid.

(sing-song:)

I’m holding up a chart and you can’t see it.

YEMILINA

She is not holding up a chart, fair listeners. She’s just in a mood. Ignore her.

ENELCIA

She’s only holding her staff.

TELOOPA

And now I’m performing a stunning gymnastics sequence.

ENELCIA

She’s not.

TELOOPA

But we are looking at stained glass masterpieces. Beautiful art everywhere and you, fair listeners, are missing it all.

PISANNA

(gasp)

SOUND: Cloak dragging

WENOBURT

Pisanna? Why are you putting your cloak over that picture?

PISANNA

Oh, it’s uh…it’s not for a child’s eyes.   

ENELCIA

Ooo, let me see.

SOUND: Cloak lifted

ENELCIA

Hmm, it is a bit scary. Not what I thought you meant.

WENOBURT

I can handle scary.

ENELCIA

Yeah, show him. It’s just some old hag chasing a man.

PISANNA

(offended noises)

Old? Old!

ENELCIA

Or…well, I guess there aren’t that many wrinkles. It’s her wild hair.

PISANNA

She is not chasing him!

ENELCIA

It’s a little like your hair. Is that Arnold?

YEMILINA

Oh, I have a good feeling about this. Move over!

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

YEMILINA

Ha, I knew it! Arnold didn’t just break up with you. You scared him away!

PISANNA

We had a misunderstanding.

YEMILINA

About whether or not love potions are immoral? They are.

PISANNA

I didn’t!

ENELCIA

What happened? Just tell us.

PISANNA

(sigh)

We all talk about how much we hate dragons eating us. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we tend to do so…dismissively. As if it doesn’t really matter a lot. I suppose I started to hear it in my own voice, because Arnold had such innocent horror in his. He spent most of his life without the threat of any creature devouring him. Anyway, I was joking around about other frightening beings that we’ve grown closer to over the generations. And I cooked for him a lot, and, well…I don’t quite know how…but I think I gave him the impression I was fattening him up to feed him to the giants, because we like giants and don’t mind being meals for them.

ENELCI

(gasp)

How could you let him think giants eat people? That’s horrible.

WENOBURT

How could he think we like giants if he also thinks that they eat us? That doesn’t even make any sense.

PISANNA

It stems from his culture. Cavepeople like a lot of things that are bad for them.

YEMILINA

Your carelessness might have ruined the giants’ reputation, Pisanna. Suppose Arnold spreads nasty rumors in the future and their legacy is—

PISANNA

When we find him, we’ll straighten it out, won’t we? Back to the search.

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps on glass

YEMILINA

Oh! It’s true. How twisted! No giant deserves to be depicted like that.

PISANNA

Stop looking at the pictures!

YEMILINA

How can I when you’ve littered this mindscape with them?

PISANNA

Look, these ones aren’t even from Wilzerlott. Come look at these.

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps on glass

PISANNA

Ohhh…who is that? That must be Kailey. She can’t be that elegant. That’s unnatural.

(angry noise)

SOUND: Stomp on glass

SOUND: Breaking glass

YEMILINA

The love of his life back in his own time, I presume?

PISANNA

She was a fling!

YEMILINA

Then you shouldn’t feel so insecure that you have to smash her face.

ENELCIA

There are a lot more pictures of you, Pisanna. Can’t say they’re ‘elegant,’ but…at least he’s thinking about you more?

YEMILINA

Clearly, bad thoughts take up more glass.

PISANNA

I gave him the best four years of his life. If he won’t stop being dense, I’ll give him a real reason for cowering in the woods.

YEMILINA

So if he won’t devote himself to you, you’d rather he fear for his life?

TELOOPA

Sounds right to me. Why are you bothering to look for him? You don’t want to miss the heart attack?

PISANNA

No! Oh, I’m lashing out again. I only want to clarify my jokes about the giants. He’ll realize it’s his mindset that needs adjusting. He was talking about it before our fight. He said it’s not me, it’s him.

ENELCIA

Sweetie, that’s a breakup line. He’s just nice about it. My ex went with ‘it’s not you, it’s the busty troll. I want her.’ So much worse.

YEMILINA

Reading between the lines, Pisanna, I’d say you missed a glaring hint that he was done with you.

PISANNA

You’re wrong.

YEMILINA

Don’t take it from me. We’re in his mind. Just look at these pictures of you two. What do you think that one means?

PISANNA

That his love for me is not a quiet thing and he must scream his head off to express it.

ENELCIA

You poor thing. You’re still on stage one.

TELOOPA

I have a fast-track healing process if you’re interested.

ENELCIA

Don’t listen to her. You’ll regret it.

TELOOPA

That’s interesting coming from you.

ENELCIA

I’m not blaming you for my kid. I know that was my fault. But you know, with guys—

TELOOPA

So if I offered to do it to your ex, you’d say “No, I don’t want you to do that to him!” Say it. Say it!

ENELCIA

Wenoburt, you warn Pisanna. I’m out.

SOUND: Vivicord walking

WENOBURT

Look, another vivicord is coming in!

SOUND:Short vivicord chatter

TELOOPA

Shut up, new vivicord!

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Silencing spell

WENOBURT

(gasp)

The new vivicord lost its voice!

TELOOPA

That’s my silencing spell. That’s the point.

WENOBURT

But what if it had something important to tell us?

TELOOPA

It’s looking for sticks to chew, Wenoburt. Don’t go giving it cute purpose.

PISANNA

Look, it’s nice that some of you want to help me ‘heal,’ but it’s not necessary. Arnold and I have just hit a bump in the road.

TELOOPA

You need to get out more. This is really sad.

PISANNA

What’s sad?

TELOOPA

You moping over some caveman who didn’t even do the cooking. Has it been more than a day? Dust yourself off.

PISANNA

But I thought he’d been eaten by a dragon. That made me miss him.

TELOOPA

Well, he wasn’t, so snap out of it. Trust me. He could be croaking in a bog, and you wouldn’t miss him. I never do.

PISANNA

Croaking? Do you mean dying?

WENOBURT

She means ‘ribbit, ribbit.’ Ribbit. Ribbit.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

ENELCIA

(gasp)

Did Arnold hear you say that? Is he talking back to us with frog sounds? Say it again.

WENOBURT

Ribbit. Ribbit.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

TELOOPA

That’s weird. Why would Arnold be thinking of those frogs? Has he met them?

YEMILINA

Met them? Are those—

TELOOPA

Yep.

YEMILINA

(gasp)

PISANNA

What? Why would he meet frogs? I don’t understand.

YEMILINA

Teloopa turns her exes into frogs. Really, the subtext is obvious.

PISANNA

(gasp)

Those are men?

TELOOPA

No, they lost that privilege.

PISANNA

You stay away from Arnold!

TELOOPA

Oh, now you wish Nazzy had come?

WENOBURT

Shoo, frogs!

SOUND: Dagger drawn

WENOBURT

Get out of Arnold’s brain! It’s crowded enough in here.

SOUND: Dagger whooshes

WENOBURT

Hi-ya, hi-ya, hi-ya!

SOUND: Dagger bonk

WENOBURT

Ow!

TELOOPA

They’re just stray thoughts...aren’t they?

SOUND: Frog tongues shooting out

WENOBURT

Ugh, that’s a sticky tongue! Eww! I think it might be real.

SOUND: Overlapping flute tunes, “Five Green and Speckled Frogs” getting louder

PISANNA

That song! Oh, there’s a song about frogs. That’s what’s done it. They’re as real as that teapot.

WENOBURT

What do the frogs do in the song?

PISANNA

Not to worry! We are safe so long as we are not ‘most delicious bugs.’

SOUND: Croaking frogs

SOUND: Frog tongues shooting out

WENOBURT

Poor bugs!

SOUND: Croaking frogs getting louder

TELOOPA

Why are they so loud? It’s not right.

YEMILINA

Perhaps they’re getting louder with each guilty pound of your heart.

TELOOPA

This place isn’t my head! It’s only Arnold’s head! And who said I feel guilty?

SOUND: Overlapping flute tunes, “I’m a Little Teapot” getting louder

SOUND: Teapot rattling

SOUND: Gas leaking

YEMILINA

(coughing)

The poison is leaking out.

ENELCIA

Get over here! Don’t breathe that stuff.

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

YEMILINA

(coughs lessening)

Oh, my bird baby, you better have tougher little lungs than a dove.

ENELCIA

Pisanna, you have to remember that teapot song. Listen. Can you hear the tune?

SOUND: Overlapping flute tunes, “I’m a Little Teapot” getting louder

SOUND: Croaking frogs getting louder

PISANNA

Yes, I…no, not really. Make the frogs shut up.

TELOOPA

Gladly.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Silencing spell sputters out

SOUND: Croaking frogs getting quieter and then louder

TELOOPA

That’s impossible. My spell hit them.

PISANNA

(singing:)

I’m a little teapot, short and stout

Here is my handle, here is my spout

When I get all steamed up

Hear me shout

Tip me over and pour me out

ENELCIA

I mean that’s just what you do with a teapot. How will that help us?

YEMILINA

The steam! When the teapot steams, it’s safe to tip it over and pour it out.

WENOBURT

The teapot…it’s not hot enough to get all steamed up.

TELOOPA

Let me at it.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Heating spell sputters out

TELOOPA

How am I missing?

SOUND: Croaking frogs

ENELCIA

I think it’s your frog-men. Don’t look at them. They’re distracting you.

TELOOPA

They couldn’t distract me when I turned them into frogs, and I was way more emotional then.

ENELCIA

What did they do to you?

TELOOPA

It’s not sharing time. I’ve got a staff to fix. 

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Beautify spell sputters out

TELOOPA

Work, you stupid stick! Why aren’t you glowing? What, do you need cleaning?

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Cleaning spell

TELOOPA

Okay, that’s too soapy. Reverse!

SOUND: Magic Staff

SOUND: Backwards cleaning spell

TELOOPA

How’s your power memory? Reverse six spells ago!

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Backwards silencing spell

SOUND: Vivicord walking

SOUND: Short vivicord chatter

TELOOPA

(sigh)

I should have checked what that would be. Now you’re going to chatter.

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

TELOOPA

Oh, my frog-men are coming for me? Really? What a great time to tell me!

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

TELOOPA

Well, get to the point next time. Your preamble is ridiculously long. It’s all your fault.

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

TELOOPA

Seriously? There’s a teapot leaking poison everywhere and frogs croaking for my blood. Why can’t you go back to Nazzy and get her to say goodbye to the cavepeople?

SOUND: Vivicord chatter interrupted

TELOOPA

Whatever! Listen or don’t, cavepeople of the future. And thanks for nothing. Wish us luck!

SOUND: Closing theme music