S3 E5: Vicious Cycles

While Teloopa fends off her vengeful frog boyfriends, Nazzy finds her way into the Mind Anomaly to rescue Yemilina and her newborn.

Written and produced by Jennifer Lott

Voice Actors:

Shannon Rea as Nazzy

Tegan Lott as Teloopa

Lisa Van Gool as Pisanna

Jennifer Lott as Yemilina

Nicole Stoner as Enelcia

Owen Lott as Wenoburt

Transcript

SOUND: Opening theme music

EXT. STAINED GLASS FOREST

SOUND: Stained glass forest ambiance

SOUND: Two overlapping flute tunes (Teapot & Frogs)

SOUND: Teapot dragging

SOUND: Gases rising

SOUND: Croaking frogs

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Silencing spell fizzles out

TELOOPA

Okay, this place is seriously broken. I say we find the self-destruct button and abandon brain.

PISANNA

We can’t do that to Arnold!

TELOOPA

Look what he’s doing to me! None of my spells are working.

PISANNA

We just have to boil the toxin in that teapot to stop the—

TELOOPA

I can’t boil it. See?

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Heating spell fizzles out

ENELCIA

Oh, stop thinking with your staff! What about the fire that was cooking that caveman food Arnold likes?

WENOBURT

The marshmallow!

YEMILINA

Oh yes, let’s get the teapot back there right away!

SOUND: Teapot rattling

SOUND: Gases rising

ENELCIA

Not you, you’re breathing for two. Give me that leaky gas bomb.

SOUND: Teapot lifting

ENELCIA

(coughing)

YEMILINA

Be careful.

SOUND: Overlapping footsteps on glass

SOUND: Overlapping hands touching metal

SOUND: Two overlapping flute tunes (“Frogs” becoming louder)

WENOBURT

How do we get up the waterspout?

SOUND: Lamb bleating

SOUND: Mouse squeaking

SOUND: Grandfather clock strikes one

SOUND: Mouse scurrying

WENOBURT

A lamb…a mouse…we don’t need any more creatures! We need a ladder, dude.

SOUND: Rolling watermelons

WENOBURT

Ooo, watermelons! At least we won’t get hungry.

SOUND: Sword slicing watermelon

SOUND: Eating watermelon

SOUND: Teapot rattling

SOUND: Gases rising

SOUND: Man’s muffled coughing

PISANNA

(gasp)

My caveman! Enelcia, don’t leave that teapot lying around.

ENELCIA

I just put it down for a second. I want some watermelon.

SOUND: Eating watermelon

ENELCIA

Mm, that’s really good…

PISANNA

Arnold is inside that grandfather clock. You put it too close to him.

SOUND: Man’s muffled coughing

SOUND: Clock door opening

SOUND: Man coughing louder

SOUND: Stumbling body

YEMILINA

Hmm, skinnier than I was picturing.

SOUND: Retreating footsteps

PISANNA

Come back, Arnold! There’s a nice witch here who can protect you from dragons.

TELOOPA

Nice witch? Where?

PISANNA

I know you’re horrible, but he doesn’t need to know that.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

YEMILINA

Teloopa, do something about those frogs. They look so angry.

ENELCIA

(mouth full)

Duh. Why wouldn’t they be?

SOUND: Eating watermelon

TELOOPA

I couldn’t shut them up. Just plug your ears.

PISANNA

I’d work on an apology if I were you. Things from Arnold’s songs have strange powers in here. 

SOUND: Croaking frogs

TELOOPA

(scoffing noise)

You said it’s about frogs eating bugs. I’m not a bug, so they remain pointless.

SOUND: Truck door opening and closing

SOUND: Truck locking

PISANNA

Oh, he’s hiding in his truck now. Let’s stay close.

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

SOUND: Hand knocking on truck

PISANNA

Arnold? That machine of yours won’t keep you safe, because you’re still trapped in your own head. Please come out and talk to us.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

SOUND: Flute line (“one jumped into the pool where it was nice and cool”)

SOUND: Frog jump

SOUND: Splash

SOUND: Water rising

TELOOPA

What the hell?

WENOBURT

That frog made a little pool just by jumping on you.

TELOOPA

This is not a pool. It’s like a water tank around me…without the tank.

ENELCIA

At least the weird water is only up to your knees.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

SOUND: Flute line (“one jumped into the pool where it was nice and cool”)

SOUND: Frog jump

SOUND: Splash

SOUND: Water rising

TELOOPA

Now it’s up to my hips. I don’t like it.

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Vanishing spell fizzles out

TELOOPA

Vanish, you unnatural puddle! I vanished you.

SOUND: Stick hitting water

PISANNA

Think of this as your magic in a strong wind – the wind being the song. Move with the wind. Don’t fight it.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

SOUND: Flute line (“one jumped into the pool where it was nice and cool”)

SOUND: Frog jump

SOUND: Splash

SOUND: Water rising

WENOBURT

(gasp)

It’s up to your chest! Every frog jump must make the water go higher.

ENELCIA

Don’t let them jump anymore!

SOUND: Flies buzzing

SOUND: Vivicord walking

YEMILINA

Come back here, vivicord! Teloopa is in trouble. The cavepeople need to hear what happens to her.

WENOBURT

The vivicord is following the bugs. It thinks they’re going to lead it to the most delicious leaves.

SOUND: Vivicord walking

SOUND: Stick hits water

TELOOPA

Pisanna, tell your caveman I’ll bite his head off if he doesn’t stop thinking about these stupid songs!

PISANNA

There’s no sense trying to silence his thoughts with threats. You’ll only make his songs more frightening.

TELOOPA

(angry noise)

SOUND: Stick hits water

PISANNA

I’ll sing you the whole song. Pay attention while your ears are still above water.

SOUND: Vivicord footsteps fading out

SOUND: Buzzing flies fading out

PISANNA

(singing fading out)

Five green and speckled frogs,

Sitting on a speckled log…

SOUND: Vivicord static

EXT. ENCHANTED FOREST

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Foliage inflating

SOUND: Dragon flying

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

NAZZY

Fly as high as you can, Sir JP. You shouldn’t be too close when we do this, just in case.

SOUND: Dragon grumbles

NAZZY

Chabelle is casting from a distance, at two-minute intervals. She’s confident her portal can crack the Mind Anomaly’s roof for a few seconds at a time. The distance she’s stretching should reflect on the other side of the portal, pushing life away. There’s a good chance the Pus Bugs from the other dimension won’t make it here to infect you.

SOUND: Dragon grumbles

NAZZY

Of course, I’m still considering it, but I don’t want you to be one of the dragons that gets wiped out. We’ll have to wait until Teloopa can transform you into a permanent human.

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

NAZZY

I know, but I was hoping to avoid another copy of Teloopa. Her timelines are getting really complicated. Will you please just fly higher? I should be able to jump in myself once the roof is open. I’ll get Yemilina out.

SOUND: Dragon wings get quieter

SOUND: Angry dragon roar

NAZZY

Don’t you start, too. I’m sure the last thing those poor frog-men want is more romantic drama. They won’t try to kiss anyone.

SOUND: Dragon wings fade out

SOUND: Foliage inflating fades out

EXT. STAINED GLASS FOREST

SOUND: Vivicord approaching footsteps

SOUND: Stained glass forest ambiance fades in

YEMILINA

(fading in)

That’s right, Vivicord. No food over there. Come on back. Back to the group. Hurry up!

SOUND: Frog croaks fade in

SOUND: Sloshing water fades in

PISANNA

Arnold, please come out. A nice witch made you a dragon-proof cottage.

TELOOPA

(sputters in water)

PISANNA

(loud:)

She might drown, but that won’t weaken the protective spells she used.

(stage whisper:)

Teloopa, get your head up higher and help me lie to him.

TELOOPA

I’m short, okay? I’m on tiptoes!

(sputters in water)

PISANNA

You’re not leaning into the song power. Steer your magic into it.

TELOOPA

(angry sputters)

SOUND: Stick moving through water

SOUND: Magic staff

SOUND: Conjuring spell

SOUND: Logs pile up

WENOBURT

Whoa, those are great speckled logs! Can you make me a tree house with those?

TELOOPA

I’m using them to climb out of my watery grave, kid. Back off!

SOUND: Footsteps on wet wood

SOUND: Wet clothes dripping

SOUND: Croaking frogs

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

SOUND: Flies buzzing

TELOOPA

Eat bigger flies, losers!

SOUND: Magic Staff

SOUND: Growing spell

SOUND: Flies buzzing

SOUND: Frogs tongues shooting out

SOUND: Frogs choking

ENELCIA

Don’t choke them!

TELOOPA

They tried to kill me.

ENELCIA

They have a support group. The others will get vengeful. I think you should end this vicious cycle.

TELOOPA

Nah.

SOUND: Magic Staff

SOUND: Growing spell

SOUND: Flies buzzing

SOUND: Frogs tongues shooting out

SOUND: Frogs choking

SOUND: Truck door opening

PISANNA

Oh, Arnold, you’re coming out at last! Come here. It’s just me and some friends.

SOUND: Portal opening

SOUND: Forest ambiance rising

SOUND: Dragon flying

SOUND: Dragon roaring

SOUND: Truck door closing

PISANNA

That’s a good dragon, Arnold! Don’t lock yourself in there again.

SOUND: Truck locking

PISANNA

It’s good, I swear – but don’t get confused. There’s only one good dragon.

YEMILINA

Oh, My Love, we need the toxin in this teapot boiled. Would you mind?

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

SOUND: Dragon flying closer

YEMILINA

Watch out for the frogs; they have souls!

TELOOPA

Debatable.

SOUND: Frogs choking

SOUND: Dragon fire

SOUND: Portal closing

SOUND: Forest ambiance fading

ENELCIA

The roof is closing again! Get some fire on the torch!

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

SOUND: Torch whoosh

WENOBURT

Got it!

SOUND: Torch burning

SOUND: Portal closes

SOUND: Dragon and forest sounds end

WENOBURT

Dragon fire on a stick! I’ll boil the toxin.

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

SOUND: Steaming teapot

PISANNA

Arnold, honey…the scary dragon is gone now.

SOUND: Vomiting frogs

TELOOPA

(disgusted noises)

PISANNA

Ignore the vomiting frogs. They’re just having a little spat with their ex. It has nothing to do with you.

SOUND: Frog spit on face

TELOOPA

(growl)

ENELCIA

Okay, Teloopa, vomit is a good place to stop. One quick cleaning spell for your face, right? There’s no need to be gross back.

SOUND: Overlapping flute tunes (Monkeys, Spider, Teapot)

TELOOPA

I hear the other songs again.

SOUND: Steaming teapot stops

WENOBURT

The toxin has boiled away. No more coughing gas.

ENELCIA

(deep inhale)

Ah, smell that nice, clean air? Smells just like forgiveness and peace.

TELOOPA

You’re right, Pisanna. The songs can course through my staff like extra power. I feel powerful.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

YEMILINA

And forgiving, right? I’m sure they never would have dreamed of trying to drown you when they were human. Frog brains must change a person, don’t you think? Just send them to their bog like the naughty boys they are.

SOUND: Croaking frogs

TELOOPA

If they wanna play, we can play.

SOUND: Five transformation spells

YEMILINA, ENELCIA, PISANNA and WENOBURT

(gasp)

SOUND: Monkey shrieks

SOUND: Skittering spider

SOUND: Rattling teapot

WENOBURT

Three monkeys, a spider and a teapot! You changed them all!

YEMILINA

B-but the teapot is…only Mijar has ever been able to transform living things into inorganic matter!

TELOOPA

I’m ascending to goddess. Get used to it.

SOUND: Monkey shrieks

ENELCIA

Three of them kind of got luckier. Monkeys are a bit better than…

SOUND: Three bodies jumping on bed

ENELCIA

Oh, except that bed’s gonna make them…

SOUND: One body hits the floor

SOUND: Monkey shriek

ENELCIA

Ouch. Are they going to jump and fall forever?

SOUND: Two bodies jumping on bed

SOUND: One body hits the floor

SOUND: Monkey shriek

YEMILINA

You’ll give those monkey-men concussions!

SOUND: One body jumping on bed

SOUND: One body hits the floor

SOUND: Monkey shriek

SOUND: Spider skittering

YEMILINA

Oh, and the poor little spider. Don’t mess around with waterspouts! Climb something else!

SOUND: Teapot rattling

ENELCIA

Oh, no, teapot-man! He can’t even move!

SOUND: Portal opening

SOUND: Forest ambiance fades in

SOUND: Dragon flying fades in

WENOBURT

The portal’s opening again.

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

YEMILINA

I’ll carry the teapot! Oh, which one is the man and which one—

ENELCIA

Right there! That one.

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

SOUND: Dress rustling

SOUND: Teapot lifting

PISANNA

A portal has cracked the roof again, Arnold. We might be able to go out of your mind now. Would you like to go out of your mind?

SOUND: Dragon flying closer

SOUND: Dragon roaring

YEMILINA

My Love, you mustn’t be jealous that I’m carrying another man around. I don’t even know what he looks like.

SOUND: Dragon roar

YEMILINA

So what if he is enjoying the feel of my bosom against his cold porcelain? Isn’t that small enough comfort to ask when you’re a helpless little teapot?

SOUND: Dragon grumble

SOUND: Time Travel – arriving

NAZZY

Hey. I finally found a way in.

PISANNA

(annoyed)

Who asked you to?

NAZZY

A ghost and a dragon.

SOUND: Dragon wings get louder

NAZZY

Sir JP, I still don’t think you should get this close to the portal while it’s open.

YEMILINA

What? It looked to me like you were just using that portal to crack open the roof of this Mind Anomaly.

NAZZY

That is the desired side effect.

YEMILINA

You mean you found those Pus Bugs?

(gasp)

But Sir JP—

NAZZY

I have more than one precaution in place. I just thought—

SOUND: Dragon growl

NAZZY

I know you have to get close to get people out. But maybe I should be the one—

SOUND: Portal closing

YEMILINA

The portal’s closing!

NAZZY

Don’t worry.

SOUND: Forest ambiance ends

SOUND: Dragon wings end

NAZZY

It will open every two to three minutes in Mind Anomaly Time. Chabelle will keep that up for a few days in Outside World Time. So we’ll have lots of chances—

ENELCIA

Outside World Time? Uh…how long has it been on the outside?

NAZZY

Five days.

ENELCIA

(gasp)

YEMILINA

(gasp and groan)

Ohhh…I think I’m having contractions.

NAZZY

Oh. Let’s get you more comfortable.

SOUND: Body settling on floor

ENELCIA

No, no, no, I’ve left my baby in the giant village for five days! I told them just one day. One sleepover. I told them just one sleepover.

NAZZY

They’re not mad. I talked to them.

ENELCIA

Of course they’re not mad. They’re sweet, ground-shaking angels, letting me walk all over them. I’m such a terrible person!

YEMILINA

(breathing heavily)

Go when the roof cracks again. Sir JP can take you to the village.

ENELCIA

Oh, I can’t possibly. He’ll want to come in and watch his baby arrive.

YEMILINA

No, he won’t. He wants to see it once it’s dry and cute.

ENELCIA

Yeah, that’s understandable.

YEMILINA

My baby is coming!

ENELCIA

I’m so happy for you. Don’t make it a carrot or a frog or adopted by the babysitters, okay? Learn from my mistakes.

YEMILINA

I’ll make different mistakes.

ENELCIA

I know you will.

SOUND: Portal opening

SOUND: Forest ambiance fades in

SOUND: Dragon flying fades in

YEMILINA

My Love, take Enelcia back to her baby. I’ll have ours out soon.

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

NAZZY

It’s okay, Sir JP. She’s doing fine. You can come right back.

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

SOUND: Dragon landing

SOUND: Mounting dragon

SOUND: Dragon wings fading out

ENELCIA

(fading out)

I’m coming for her, my friends! You’re the best! Don’t hate me!

SOUND: Portal closes

SOUND: Dragon and forest sounds end

YEMILINA

(grunts of pain)

Nazzy, could you get the vivicord to stop recording while I’m making such ghastly noises?

NAZZY

Oh. Yes, absolutely.

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

NAZZY

Take a break. Vivicord?

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

NAZZY

Thanks, we’ll start again later.

SOUND: Vivicord cuts out

SOUND: Vivicord starts up

SOUND: Bird-baby wails

YEMILINA

Oh, my beautiful baby! You only look about ten percent dove. The feathers suit you, darling.

NAZZY

He’s adorable.

PISANNA

The scary birth is over! Arnold, please come out.

NAZZY

It’s about to get less crowded in your mind. Yemilina and I are catching the next dragon ride out of here.

SOUND: Portal opening

SOUND: Forest ambiance

SOUND: Dragon wings fading in

YEMILINA

There goes the roof! Help me up.

SOUND: Dress rustling

SOUND: Footsteps on glass

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

SOUND: Dragon landing

YEMILINA

Look at him, My Love. He’s got your grumpy face scrunch.

SOUND: Soft dragon roar

SOUND: Bird-baby fussing

YEMILINA

It’s your daddy, darling. He only looks like a dragon.

SOUND: Two people mounting dragon

SOUND: Dragon wings fading out

SOUND: Forest ambiance fading out

WENOBURT

Two scary women are leaving. Arnold, I’ll protect you from the other two!

SOUND: Sword swipes

WENOBURT

Hi-ya, hi-ya, hi-ya!

PISANNA

I’m not scary!

WENOBURT

You keep telling him to come out when things are getting worse. And Teloopa—

PISANNA

Yes, I think he’s heard about her by now. Try to relax, Arnold. Teloopa would never do such things to you.

TELOOPA

I mean only if you annoy me. You won’t, will you, Caveman?

WENOBURT

(sigh)

He’s never coming out.

SOUND: Mind Anomaly fading out

SOUND: Forest ambiance fading in

SOUND: Dragon wings fading in

NAZZY

(fading in)

There’s the vivicord I left in the forest. Can you fly a bit closer to it?

SOUND: Dragon grumble

SOUND: Dragon wings getting louder

YEMILINA

How long until your human day?

SOUND: Sad dragon roar

YEMILINA

Not that I’m complaining. I’m going to hog our baby for a while. All the snuggles all for me!

SOUND: Bird-baby fussing

NAZZY

I guess we should hold off on the Q and A?

YEMILINA

Don’t be silly. I’m especially available now. I’m going to be stuck at home for a while.

NAZZY

All right. We’ll stay on schedule. Cavepeople of the future, if you have any questions for us, please email wilzerlott at gmail dot com by September 15th 2025 your time. We’ll try to answer them.

YEMILINA

(singing:)

It’s a great time to pause our documentary,

And answer all your queries,

About feuds, spells, messy break-ups

Birth and DNA hiccups.

SOUND: Bird-baby fussing

YEMILINA

Aww, it’ll be your first Q and A, yes it will. Are you ready to talk to cavepeople with Mommy and Auntie Nazzy?

SOUND: Bird-baby giggling

NAZZY

Thank you for listening. If we’re not fried by dragons, we’ll be back September 20th. Wish us luck.

SOUND: Closing theme music