S3 E9: Off to Free a Caveman

Wenoburt returns in a new form with surprises for Sir JP's cure, while Nazzy gathers child versions of Yemilina to break the final barrier trapping the caveman.

Written and Produced by Jennifer Lott

Song lyrics improvised by Ivy Lott

Voice Actors:

Shannon Rea as Nazzy

Nicole Stoner as Enelcia

Owen Lott as Wenoburt

Ivy Lott as Child Yemilina

Tory Lott as Toddler Giant

Lynda Williams as Queen Augusta

Lisa Van Gool as Pisanna

Kyle Doering as Arnold

Kenzie Stoner as Rose

Transcript

SOUND: Opening theme music

EXT. GIANT VILLAGE

SOUND: Giant village ambiance

NAZZY

(fading in)

Thank you very much.

SOUND: Footsteps – fading in

SOUND: Running footsteps

ENELCIA

Nazzy! Why do you need such a big healing potion? Is that poor caveman on the brink of death?

NAZZY

No, this is for Sir JP. I don’t think Arnold is free yet.

ENELCIA

What’s wrong with Sir JP?

NAZZY

Lethal pus disease.

SOUND: Sloshing potion

NAZZY

This is just for pain. We have some questing to do if we’re going to—

ENELCIA

I take one day to mother my kid and everything happens.

NAZZY

That’s important. You’re not getting the giants to babysit again, are you?

ENELCIA

Yes. It’s fine. I’m going to stay out of the Mind Anomaly, so I can’t lose track of time again. I want to meet the caveman.

SOUND: Giant footsteps – fading in

TODDLER GIANT

Poor good dragon. Is he still very sick?

NAZZY

I’m afraid so. But we still have time to save him.

TODDLER GIANT

It’s my fault he’s sick.

ENELCIA

Of course it’s not, sweetie! Why would you say that?

TODDLER GIANT

I was chasing a giant spider, and I breaked the good dragon’s bug net.

ENELCIA

Well, then that’s the giant spider’s fault, not yours. Unless…wait, is it giant because it’s from your village?

TODDLER GIANT

My cousin spilled a big jar full of spiders.

NAZZY

Oh, no! Just a little while ago? I thought Chabelle looked tense. She was shooting out summoning spells when I arrived. She said it was just pest control.

ENELCIA

I hope she recaptures all the giant spiders. I like them better in jars.

SOUND: Sloshing potion

NAZZY

I need to get this potion to Sir JP. Can you catch a Pegasus?

ENELCIA

Oh, don’t worry about me. Buffin said he’s going for his morning walk anyways. He’s gonna drop me off.

TODDLER GIANT

I can give you a piggy-back ride.

ENELCIA

Thanks, sweetie, but I really prefer shoulder rides on grownup giants. You’ve been working so hard, chasing spiders and worrying about pus. You should go play. Cheer yourself up.

TODDLER GIANT

Can I please play with your baby?

ENELCIA

Of course! Just make sure Mommy’s watching you, okay? You listen to her.

TODDLER GIANT

Mommy says no putting elf baby in my dollhouse.

ENELCIA

Oh, the bottom floor is okay. Just remember to let her explore on her own. She’s really independent now.

TODDLER GIANT

Mommy?

SOUND: Giant footsteps fading out

TODDLER GIANT

(fading out)

Elf friend says the bottom floor is okay.

SOUND: Bigger giant footsteps fading in

ENELCIA

Hi, Buffin. Ready for me?

SOUND: Giant voice saying “yes”

SOUND: Climbing giant body

SOUND: Shifting cloth

SOUND: Adjusting suspender

ENELCIA

Okay, I’ve got your suspender working as a seatbelt. No need to go super slow. You’ve got the most comfortable shoulder by the way. It’s really nice.

SOUND: Giant voice saying “thank you”

SOUND: Bigger giant footsteps

ENELCIA

Thanks again.

SOUND: Giant village ambiance –fading out

SOUND: Distant time travel – departing

ENELCIA

Bye, Nazzy!

SOUND: Bigger giant footsteps

SOUND: Vivicord running

SOUND: Forest ambiance fading in

ENELCIA

Wow, what a great view! I can see so much of the forest, and the marketplace…

SOUND: Distant enchanted maze ambiance

ENELCIA

…oh, and there’s the queen’s enchanted maze where she’s trapped forever.

SOUND: Distant time travel – arriving

SOUND: Maze barrier fluxing

ENELCIA

What was that? Did Nazzy just slingshot herself into that maze with a little princess dangling from her arm? Huh? Nazzy went to help Sir JP…it’s a different Nazzy! I wish that woman knew how to be in one place at a time. It makes my head dizzy when she’s everywhere.

SOUND: Vivicord running

SOUND: Vivicord panting

ENELCIA

You don’t have to keep up with Buffin, vivicord. There will be another vivicord recording at the Mind Anomaly. Take a break.

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

ENELCIA

Okay. If you’re that keen, go bust into the queen’s maze. Find out what’s happening there.

SOUND: Vivicord chatter

SOUND: Giant footsteps fading out

SOUND: Vivicord footsteps getting louder

SOUND: Maze barrier fluxing

INT. ENCHANTED MAZE

SOUND: Enchanted maze ambiance

NAZZY

(quick fade in)

…so you see, Your Majesty, it makes sense to leave this precious egg in your care for the time being.

SOUND: Vivicord footsteps stop

SOUND: Egg rocking

CHILD YEMILINA

Please look after my baby dragon, Mommy. It won’t hurt much if he burns you up, will it?

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Not at all, my dearest. I would burn to a crisp a million times for your scaly baby.

NAZZY

And most importantly, you can. Your invincibility gives this baby dragon a clean record while he’s learning how to control his deadly abilities. If he never succeeds in hurting anyone, he could be accepted someday as a tame dragon.

CHILD YEMILINA

You’ll make me proud, won’t you, my sweet baby? Listen, Mommy. He talks to me through his shell.

SOUND: Muffled dragon grunts

QUEEN AUGUSTA

I hear him, darling. He has a good heart already, I can tell. He can’t wait to meet you.

CHILD YEMILINA

I know! You have to tell me when he hatches, Nazzy.

NAZZY

Of course. We’ll get you lathered up in dragon-screen lotion and come for a visit.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

It is a high quality dragon-screen lotion, I hope? Not made by peasants?

NAZZY

The most talented peasants in the timeline, Your Majesty. Teloopa has experimented with stronger protective potions, but I’m wary of getting her help. She’s teetering on the edge of unhelpful timelines everywhere I turn. The point of her forced singing and when she wounded Wenoburt, well…that seems to be where all the branches start. I don’t know if she’ll end up a friend or…

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Surely you can borrow her from the brief time she was in my employ? She obeyed almost every command I gave her. I inspired her to use her powers for the benefit of the entire kingdom. It was her golden age of being a team player.

NAZZY

No offense, but I think she just enjoyed turning criminals into frogs. If you commanded that she knit sweaters, that would be a truer test of how much you inspired her.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Humph! You are determined to strip all meaning from my life, aren’t you, Time Meddler?

CHILD YEMILINA

No, she’s not, Mommy. She’s trusting you with my baby.

SOUND: Egg rocking

SOUND: Muffled dragon grunts

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Right you are, my darling. I will do my best to nurture him and teach him the joys of non-sentient foods.

CHILD YEMILINA

And don’t let any pus bugs bite him!

NAZZY

The maze is sealed. He won’t get the disease. Shame it didn’t wipe out the other dragons, though. Damn spiders.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Spiders?

NAZZY

I’m getting ahead of your time. Sorry. That reminds me, Little Yemmy, there’s another place you’ll be needed soon.

CHILD YEMILINA

What do you mean by ‘soon’? Isn’t every time ‘soon’ for you?

NAZZY

Very perceptive. Yes. What I mean is, we need more than two of you.

CHILD YEMILINA

What?

NAZZY

I’m positive two of me are already there with two of you. You and me are the third pair.

CHILD YEMILINA

Where are we going?

NAZZY

We’re off to free a caveman.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

Oh, I don’t like the sound of that.

NAZZY

Don’t worry. He used to be a Preschool teacher.

QUEEN AUGUSTA

A what?

NAZZY

A child wrangler. Come along, Yemmy.

SOUND: Time travel – departing

CHILD YEMILINA

Goodbye, Mommy!

EXT. MIND ANOMALY

SOUND: Forest Ambiance

SOUND: Giant footsteps – fading in

SOUND: Climbing down from giant

SOUND: Body drop

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt

SOUND: Giant footsteps – fading out

SOUND: Fairy wings

ENELCIA

Rose! Where is everyone? Why are the balloon trees gone? Is Pisanna still down there?

ROSE

We’re down to one balloon, but it’s a tough one.

ENELCIA

Too tough to pop?

ROSE

I’ll leave my magic pins with you. That balloon over the roof has a big curse inside. My tiny lungs won’t catch it. I think you’ll need a group of people.

ENELCIA

Me? I’ll need a group? Where are you going?

ROSE

My fairy friends need me. Good luck with the rescue!

SOUND: Fairy departing

ENELCIA

Okay, fine, have your own life. I’ll just wait here for everyone else to…well, this is boring. Pisanna?

SOUND: Hand slapping balloon

ENELCIA

Can you hear me in there? Looks like your roof is down to one balloon layer. Maybe we won’t need that portal to crack it open anymore.

SOUND: Portal opening

WENOBURT

(fading in)

It’s the last time. It’s the last time the portal is opening! I gotta get outta here!

(improv sounds)

ENELCIA

Wenoburt! What are you doing up in that portal?

WENOBURT

Getting flattened! I’m flat and fantastic now!

SOUND: Cartoon dropping from sky

ENELCIA

Holy dragon dung, is that really you?

WENOBURT

(babbling improv)

ENELCIA

Why are you so flat and colourful and…

SOUND: Stretching cartoon

ENELCIA

…stretchy?

WENOBURT

Teloopa almost killed me!

ENELCIA

What? No one tells me anything!

WENOBURT

This was my chance to live! I love it, I love it, I love—

ENELCIA

Can’t we restore you? You look messed up.

WENOBURT

I’m the new me! Nobody mess with me!

(improv)

SOUND: Assorted cartoon sounds

WENOBURT

Can’t chat long. I have infinite energy! How is everyone?

(improv)

ENELCIA

Okay…um…Teloopa is apparently a monster. Rose has friends who aren’t me. I haven’t even seen Yemilina’s new baby yet. Pisanna is caveman sitting. Nazzy is everywhere. Sir JP is sick.

WENOBURT

Did a pus bug get him?

ENELCIA

Yeah, Nazzy said something about a pus disease.

WENOBURT

I can grab something for him real quick, before the portal closes. I’ll use my stretchy hand!

SOUND: Stretchy cartoon arm

SOUND: Flying cartoon – fading out

SOUND: Falling objects bounce and settle

SOUND: Flying cartoon – fading in

SOUND: Portal closing

WENOBURT

Whew, just in time! Use these on Sir JP. It should heal him.

ENELCIA

We don’t need your weird flat tools. We have to go questing for a cure.

WENOBURT

What will you do on the quest?

ENELCIA

I don’t know, it’s…

WENOBURT

(panting)

SOUND: Cartoon bounces

ENELCIA

It still sounds like the right thing to do.

WENOBURT

Skip the quest and use those. I know they’ll work.

ENELCIA

But—

WENOBURT

(improv: goodbye)

SOUND: Cartoon dash

ENELCIA

Hey!

SOUND: Flying cartoon – fading out

ENELCIA

(frustrated noise)

I don’t even know what these things are, you loony kid!

SOUND: Foot hitting rubber

SOUND: Cartoon bounce

ENELCIA

And they don’t feel like actual things when I kick them! Rubbery, feathery nothings!

SOUND: Foot hitting rubber

SOUND: Cartoon bounce

ENELCIA

(sigh)

So magic pins. Magic pins to break the Anomaly once and for all...I wish I knew more about—

(gasp)

SOUND: Time Travel – arrival

NAZZY

This last cursed balloon needs extra lungs. Teloopa’s resistance to singing made it toughen up. I have a willing singer here who can melt it with her sweetness.

CHILD YEMILINA

I love to sing!

NAZZY

Okay, little Yemmy. Stick a pin in that. Take a deep breath. Don’t be afraid.

SOUND: Pin popping balloon

SOUND: Song gust

CHILD YEMILINA

(improv singing – continuous)

SOUND: Mind Anomaly ambiance – fading in

SOUND: Time Travel – arrival

NAZZY

You need another Yemmy. Trust me.

CHILD YEMILINA

I stick in a pin and take a deep breath?

NAZZY

Go for it.

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt

SOUND: Pin popping balloon

SOUND: Song gust

2 CHILD YEMILINAS

(improv – continuous, overlapping voices in rounds)

SOUND: Time Travel – arrival

ENELCIA

Three kid Yemmys? Really?

NAZZY

We need that many to inhale the curse. It’s a big one.

ENELCIA

Couldn’t we just get one giant with big lungs?

NAZZY

Chabelle is already doing a lot for me. I didn’t want to bother anyone in the giant village for this.

CHILD YEMILINA

I’m ready to pop and sing!

SOUND: Pin popping balloon

SOUND: Song gust

3 CHILD YEMILINAS

(improv – continuous, overlapping voices in rounds)

SOUND: Melting illusions

SOUND: Egg cracking

ENELCIA

It’s working! All the mind illusions in there are melting away. Hi, Pisanna! I can see you now.

PISANNA

Arnold is coming out of his shell.

SOUND: Egg cracking

PISANNA

No egg goo, though. Teloopa didn’t miss anything.

ENELCIA

We’re not too happy with her right now. It’s okay if it’s epic goo.

NAZZY

Stop talking over the cursed air. Let the Yemmys finish.

ENELCIA and PISANNA

Shhh! No you, shh!

3 CHILD YEMILINAS

(improv – continuous, overlapping voices in rounds)

SOUND: Melting illusions

SOUND: Egg cracking

SOUND: Mind Anomaly ambiance fading out

ARNOLD

(startled noise)

NAZZY

See? The Yemmys handled it fine.

ARNOLD

(nervous noise)

PISANNA

It’s okay, Arnold. We’re just in a pit in the forest now.

SOUND: Climbing ladder

PISANNA

Up the ladder. Come on.

SOUND: Climbing ladder – overlapping

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt – overlapping

ARNOLD

Pisanna? Why…? Why are little triplets staring at me? What do they want?

CHILD YEMILINAS

(overlapping voices)

Hi, caveman!

PISANNA

They sang away your last balloon curse. You’re finally free!

NAZZY

I can take you back to your own time.

ARNOLD

No, no, no, anytime but then, please, no, not 2025.

PISANNA

I told you, Time Meddler.

NAZZY

How about 2029?

ARNOLD

(nervous noise)

SOUND: Footsteps on dirt

ENELCIA

Oh, no, you don’t! Hey!

SOUND: Rustling foliage

ENELCIA

Get away from that bush.

SOUND: Shoulder grab

SOUND: Scuffle

ENELCIA

You’re in our documentary now. Say something brave. I’m sure our listeners are tired of all your hiding.

ARNOLD

You have dragons here! The entire edible population should be hiding. I don’t understand why you’re not a society of underground bunkers.

ENELCIA

Whoa, that’s dramatic. We have good stuff, too. I thought you didn’t want to go home.

ARNOLD

I don’t know what I want.

NAZZY

Let’s give him a minute.

ENELCIA

Yeah, okay. We need to figure out how these random flat things Wenoburt dropped will help Sir JP.

ARNOLD

That’s an X-ray machine and an oversized eraser.

ENELCIA

Look at you with your other-worldly knowledge. Have you been to the pus bug dimension?

ARNOLD

No. It’s just…that’s what they look like, an X-ray and—

ENELCIA

Is that like an X-ray tiara? I know what those are.

NAZZY

Never mind. We’ll make sense of it before we keep recording. Farewell, cavepeople of—

CHILD YEMILINA

What do you mean? We have a caveman right here. Just say it to him.

ARNOLD

I’m not a caveman. I just thought that was some nickname.

PISANNA

It’s your time category, honey, it’s a bit broad. I’ll need a new nickname for you now.

NAZZY

Other cavepeople of the future – thank you for listening. If we are not—

CHILD YEMILINA

Don’t scare the caveman!

NAZZY

(frustrated noise)

3 CHILD YEMILINAS

(overlapping voices)

Goodbye!

SOUND: Closing theme music