Chantal Heide and Krista Howell Discuss Their Project, Evolution Revolution Film and Book

In this episode of the Peace is an Action Verb Podcast with host Christine Boschen, relationship coach Chantal Hyde and filmmaker Krista Howell unveil the "Evolution Revolution" - a transformative approach to personal growth, relationships, and societal change. Through their unique collaboration, they explore how individual healing and self-awareness can create a ripple effect of positive transformation, challenging traditional relationship paradigms and empowering individuals to break generational cycles of dysfunction. Their work, spanning digital platforms like TikTok and an upcoming documentary, offers a fresh perspective on emotional intelligence, boundary-setting, and personal responsibility.

The conversation delves deep into themes of women's empowerment, conscious communication, and the power of self-reflection, drawing insights from Chantal's background as a former dancer and current relationship expert, and Krista's experience as a filmmaker and surfer. By examining human behavior through biological, psychological, and social lenses, they provide actionable strategies for personal growth, highlighting the importance of understanding oneself before seeking meaningful connections. Their message resonates with anyone seeking to develop healthier relationships, overcome personal challenges, and contribute to a more compassionate, understanding society through intentional personal development.

Search terms: 

Women Empowerment
 Relationship Coaching
 Personal Growth, Self Reflection, Evolution Revolution
 Documentary Film
 TikTok Teachers
 Feminist Movement
 Healthy Boundaries
 Mindful Communication
 Self Love
 Collective Consciousness
 Women Supporting Women
 Transformational Journey
 Emotional Intelligence
 Healing Trauma
 Authentic Self
 Creative Collaboration
 Life Coaching

What is your peace verb of the day? Host your own podcast-style peace verb conversation, create and peace verb art installation, and more, with The Little Book of Peace Verbs, available for sale at https://convergeforward.com/product/the-little-book-of-peace-verbs/

Peace is an Action Verb host, Christine Boschen, is a professional facilitator, life coach, and intuitive channel and medium. (She's also an environmental scientist with a 25+ year career in stormwater quality protection and regulation, but that's a story for LinkedIn.)

Please reach out to Christine directly at christine@convergeforward.com if you are interested in facilitation services. You can book a coaching session or channeling session directly on her website:

https://convergeforward.com/book-appointment/

Search words:

Intuitive channel, medium, peace, peace verbs, how can I make a difference, what can I do to support peace, Peace DIY, facilitator, podcast, Peace is an Action Verb Podcast, Christine Boschen, relaxing conversations, uplifting, encouraging, supportive, balancing, wisdom, perspective, joyful podcast

Transcript

Chantal Heide and Krista Howell, 

Evolution Revolution Film and Book

Peace is an Action Verb Podcast Episode 25

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

TikTok, social media, relationship coaching, personal growth, self-reflection, boundary setting, empowerment, documentary film, surfing culture, matriarchy, triple goddess, peace verbs, courage, self-awareness, evolution revolution.

SPEAKERS

Speaker 1, Krista Howell, Christine Boschen, Chantal Heide

Christine Boschen  00:00

Hello, good afternoon and good evening, Chantal, I believe it's evening. Where you are, is that right? It is 5:05pm. Here. Okay, middle of the afternoon out here in California. Welcome to the peace is an action verb Podcast. I'm Christine Boschen, and I'm here with Chantal Hyde and Christa Howell. Thank you for joining us today.

Chantal Heide  00:19

I appreciate you having me. Thanks for having us. So

Christine Boschen  00:24

as I always do, I'm going to start with how I know either know you or know about you. So starting with Christa, you and I went to high school together back in the 80s in Denver, great. And thanks to social media, we've been able to reconnect. And also thanks to our friend Misty for hosting cooking parties on Zoom during the pandemic. That's very connected. And so, so I'm going to ask you, Krista, to talk about how you came to know about Chantal and how the two of you got to know each other. Chantal,

Krista Howell  00:59

yeah, I just want to say that I'm really stoked that we're both in the Bay Area, so we get to see each other live now too. So I started listening to Chantelle during the towards, probably to the middle, end of pandemic. I opened a Tiktok account because I like to make films and videos and photography and do editing and set things to music and and so I was filling that need during the pandemic through making my own Tik Tok videos. And somehow I stumbled upon her, and she just said all the right things that I I knew already, but I needed to hear from the outside, like I needed to have these thoughts I was having validated from someone else, and she everything she said, it was like, so relieved. Thank goodness this. I wasn't wrong thinking this, this is true, and a lot of things that she went on to say that are considered maybe more controversial, I also was in agreement with. And so she just struck all the right chords, and I find her to be an extremely concise communicator. Yeah, great at getting a message across to to anyone, no matter what level they're on. So, um, so yeah, that's how I found her.

Christine Boschen  02:17

So Chantelle that that's what that says, is that you are, you are creating content on Tiktok, is what I understand, yes,

Chantal Heide  02:24

almost every single day. So I've, I kind of came into social media around 2005 2006 I started my business in 2005 and then I started, you know, Instagram and Facebook and Tiktok you know, kind of started coming into my periphery, and then the pandemic hit, and I started making tiktoks, and I started showing my books. And because people were locked in, my book fix that shit, which is my book for couples on how to have a zero fight relationship blue off the shelves because everyone was at home,

Christine Boschen  03:07

stuck with their partners and having to really face things, stuck

Chantal Heide  03:12

with their problematic partners, stuck with their problematic egos, stuck with the problems that they weren't escaping, going to work and going out with friends,

Christine Boschen  03:22

right, right? So it was just a you had been so I'm going to pause just a moment here, because I've already heard some peace verbs in the mix. So going back, rewinding a moment, Krista, you, you talked about your inner need to make art. So you're an artist, you're a photographer, and to put art with to put your photographs with music. So Tiktok seems like a very natural platform for you as an artist, as a photographer and someone who loves music and putting the two of them together. So there's one piece for right there, and then I'm hearing that you also, I mean, unless the algorithm, algorithm just magically put Chantal in front of you. You probably saw it. You probably typed in some keywords that led you to her. Did you do? You remember even that part of it?

Krista Howell  04:12

Remember I was doing live streams also, and then I started seeing more variety in the live streams the algorithm was showing me. And in my live stream, it's quite different from Chantal, but mine, I I'm seeking out middle ground and trying to find areas where people can find common ground and come together. And that's not what I'm not saying. That's not what chantel's message is, either. But it's a just different topic.

Speaker 1  04:35

But hold it in. What's that? It pulled it in? Yeah,

Krista Howell  04:40

I think so. And, yeah, I don't remember exactly how she first showed up, but everything she said made a lot of sense to me right away, and the things that didn't, I just listened a lot of longer. Okay, yeah, okay, it's logic. She teaches logic. So there. Something peaceful about logic in a way.

Christine Boschen  05:03

Oh, absolutely something peaceful about logic and so. So Chantal, if you were on on tick tock right around the time of the pandemic, but you had already written a book to help couples resolve their conflicts, what I'm hearing is, well, one of them is right timing, practicing right timing. You saw this opportunity, and you jumped, you got into the mix on Tiktok.

Chantal Heide  05:31

Well, then you, I think it was, it was a little bit of that magic, in a way, because I do believe in magic, and I do believe that the universe brings you what you need when you need it, and it lays it out in front of you, and it's up to you to step into the path. And so I, you know, was on social media, using Instagram, using Facebook, but I'm not a strong social media user, so it wasn't getting me much traction, and YouTube as well. And so I've been here, you know, like you kind of go through life and you hear words start coming in more and more often, and that's when something starts to become a phenomenon. So I started hearing the word Tick, tock, over and over again. So I finally downloaded the app, and I was scrolling through it for a while, and then one day, I made a video that took hold, and it was literally me on my like, crouched, crouched on my bathroom floor. And just I was crouched, and I just, here's, here's my camera, here's me crouching on the floor, right, and I'm just on my bathroom I'm like, Do you know why guys come back and get you after you've gotten over them after a breakup, and it's like, less than two minutes long, and it was my first viral video, and I just took it from there, because I saw that this platform was giving me traction in a way that no other platform was giving me

Christine Boschen  06:56

Right, right? I think so you you showed up in a way that was relatable, because everyone can relate to their bathroom floor and crouching on it. And then you, you struck a chord that was apparently very, very common, and, and, and it was a thread that opened a door for for people to find you and to dig in a little bit more. I'd like to use, perhaps a word that I'd like to talk about with you, both of you a lot more today, which is Delve. Yeah. So Tiktok is not necessarily a place to Delve. Am I right? Because it's short little clips, little clips, one after another. It's yeah, Delve. Is it really, tell me more

Chantal Heide  07:38

amazing place to Delve, because in two minutes from an intelligent communicator, I can learn a lot about a subject. And so because you have all these extremely intelligent, well spoken educated people and educators, some in the sense of formal education educators, some of the sense of very logical putting things together education. And I love how, because I'm I'm voracious when it comes to taking in information, and I have been since the age of four. I had grade 11 vocabulary in grade seven because I consume information like oxygen. I want it. I need it. And for a person like me, tick tock is a wonderful source, because so many different people from all these places in the world giving you so much in a little amount of time,

Christine Boschen  08:32

concentrated, concentrated. So you're both, please go ahead, Krista and uncensored, uncensored. I

Krista Howell  08:41

want to point that out, because, you know, real time on the ground information from real people all over the world, without it going through some corporate media sponsorship, censorship. You know, I think that's just an important thing to note.

Chantal Heide  08:58

It's not on the news, but it's on Tiktok.

Christine Boschen  09:05

Wow, so I'm just taking that in. I'm pausing and taking that in. I haven't really been on Tiktok. My, my, my introduction to Tiktok was being a guest on krista's live stream a few weeks ago.

Chantal Heide  09:17

Yeah. So it wants to know who you are. It watches your features as you're scrolling. It pays attention to what you're staying on, and it pays attention to what you stay with all the way through. And so it starts to learn, because it is a learning algorithm, and it is facial recognition, looking at your emotions, and it knows I want everything. So it's feeding me birds and horses and cats and dogs and news and science and string theory and meditation and artificial intelligence and politics. I get it all because it No. I want it

10:01

Wow. And even history,

Krista Howell  10:03

a lot of history that we weren't necessarily taught in schools. And you hear these things that sound crazy, and then you look it up and do the research, and whoa, lo and behold, this was true all along, and we weren't taught this in school.

Christine Boschen  10:20

Wow. Thank you. Well, that's a great introduction for me. So this, this video is going to first be on YouTube, but there will also be little clips that will go to tick tock. So maybe that was one of them. Yeah. Um, so I'd like to bring this back to how the two of you met. So Christine, I understand that you are you're engaging with Chantal on on Tiktok, and is that actually how you started talking to each other? Did it go back to that online platform, or was it fast forwarding to when you got on a train and you went out to the seminar, to the to the conference, the workshop? Yeah,

Krista Howell  11:00

well, I would be in the live streams pretty much every day, and I think Chantelle started to recognize that, and at one point she made me a moderator, because I think she recognized that I was paying attention to that she was things she was saying, and I could help answer questions. And one of the things we do is is mute people and delete people, and that's one of the things she teaches, is that we can hold our space. We, as women, can hold space, and we don't have to allow toxicity into our environment. So by letting us do that, she's showing by example, but also letting us, letting us feel what it feels like to to be empowered enough to just walk and delete people. So from there she she held an event last November where we did a meditation, and she did some one on one, coaching with me and a small group of women, and we got together and had a really nice time. And we also went to script up, which was the international pole dancing competition. Oh, fun judge there. So it was a really mixed bag of events, from meditating to watching the pole dancers and got to enjoy the hyperbaric chamber. So, yeah, we it was, it was a great time. And I just, I think during that time, when I met her in my coaching session, I was reading the book you just read, and I light that shit up, book, yeah, yeah. And so custom made. And so she had talked to me about developing my my live streams and doing more what I want to do. And I had sort of had the idea of doing a documentary with several different women who I view as leaders in their communities, and then just getting to know her more, I realize there's, there's enough content here to just make a whole film about Chantal, because I think her message and her methodology is actually so empowering and so important, and it really, really has the potential to change the future for whoever is willing to hear it and listen to it and learn from it, and and even those that don't will be affected by those of us that do so.

Christine Boschen  13:13

So then it's that that's it's that I'm just remembering a book from the 80s that was the 100th monkey. And the idea that after 100 monkeys saw each other washing, I think it was washing their their fruit and the river, I can't even remember exactly what the monkeys were doing, then the rest of the monkeys were doing it. So it's this idea that enough of us heal, enough of us transform, then we create an energetic field for that to happen in mass, is what I believe I'm hearing from you. Yeah.

Chantal Heide  13:45

So what you're describing is Monkey see, monkey do. But there's even a further evidence that monkey do, monkey do. So there was a phenomenon where on an island something. I don't remember all the details, but I'm just kind of bringing forth the vagueness of it. So there was a monkey troop on this side and a monkey troop on the other side. They had zero contact with each other, but this monkey started washing their stuff in we're talking about the same thing, right? This monkey troop that never met, that monkey troop started washing their stuff in the water. So, so what I teach is Monkey see, monkey do, because I teach you to elevate yourself, right? The Evolution Revolution, when I evolve myself through meditation, self reflection, accountability, responsibility, choosing my thoughts, emotions and behaviors. I can't choose my emotions, but I can choose my behaviors, right? So I evolve myself. I become a more evolved human being. I'm not vomiting, I'm responsible. I choose a partner who takes responsibility for themselves. So I evolve myself. I evolve my selection. Now the two of us are in a home. We make a baby. What is the baby? What. Evolved relationship, monkey see, monkey do means I won't settle for less. I want for abuse. I was never abused. I won't settle for dysfunction. I didn't witness it. It wasn't my familiar. I see what's familiar, even if it's wrong for me. So if my familiar is functional, I seek functional. If my familiar is dysfunctional, gotta change a pattern, or I'll keep being dysfunctional. So monkey, see monkey monkey do is my 11 books, but my ultimate purpose is the collective consciousness. We are doing this over here. Now they're going to start doing it over there.

Christine Boschen  15:37

Thank you. I'm going to hit the pause button for a moment because I want to go back to something you said, Krista, which is, I think still what we're talking about, Chantal, and that is a piece verb of finding and holding healthy boundaries, finding and holding healthy boundaries. And so just going back to Krista, you were moderating for Chantal on Tiktok and Chantal, you were giving Krista as a moderator, permission to block and delete toxic input, toxic participation. And so that's a holding of a healthy boundary, a finding and a holding of a healthy boundary. And now I'm hearing that that there is a self discipline involved in that process of of going inward and being still, to continually reinforce the healthy sense of self, and then from that point, select healthy relationships, and thereby, one family at a time, Build, rebuild our society and our connective tissue as human beings from a place of wholeness, from a place of respect and from a place of healing. So that finding and holding healthy boundaries is a really important part of that. And and Chantal you were listing being accountable, being responsible, so it's whole. So the idea of accountability, holding someone else accountable, but also starting with holding yourself accountable, and that includes clearing the clutter out of your mind and coming back with a self discipline to be still and be to meditate is to be still and to journal and to self reflect. Reflect is a peace verb that should be in my list, and it's not there, but it's really inherent in all of this, is that reflection process. So the journaling that you're talking about is a part of that self reflection. Sorry, as you can tell, I'm not on Tiktok, so I have to slow you down, because my brain doesn't think in two suck, you know, in 30 to 92nd segments, and but then you so, then you were talking about you came together in real life, right? There was, there was, uh, was it a workshop, Chantal. What did you call that event?

Chantal Heide  17:52

So it was a retreat day, a retreat, yeah, and then so on the Sunday, we spent the day together. On the Saturday, the day before my friend is she, she does a yearly pole dance competition. This was her second yearly competition, and I was one of the guest judges, and so they got entry into that as well. So

Christine Boschen  18:15

with, with with pole dancing, there was a time in my life when I was taking circus classes. And there was a fairly strong crossover between people that were doing aerial in circus to pole dancing. You need the same muscles. There's a lot of being upside down and and so I That's my my entry point into going to some shows pole dancing shows. But I don't think people realize how strong you have to be to be a pole dancer, besides being sexy, sensual like how much physical strength you want to tell us a little bit about that. So

Chantal Heide  18:52

I'm not a pole dancer because my shtick was sensuality, and I never I call them aerial artists because that's what dancer is. She is an aerial artist, the stuff that absolutely incredible. Um, so that was never my thing. My thing was more about the sensuality. Um, I like, you know, the eye contact and the come hither kind of thing. Like, I'm slow and sexy on the stage. I'm not, I'm not a gymnast. And some of these women are incredible gymnasts on these absolutely,

Christine Boschen  19:29

but you, but you connect with the sensuality part of it. That's where they pull you in as a judge, yes,

Chantal Heide  19:35

yeah. I was just there for 20 years. Um, so my friend Sachi, she worked with me. I became her life coach

Christine Boschen  19:43

20 years. Wow. Would never have guessed. Congratulations on on the longevity in in that line of work,

Krista Howell  19:52

Christine, that's unusual in that she stripped sober for 20 years, which is not something I you find. That often. So she has a really interesting perspective into into men and guys and listening to these people in clubs talking to her and telling her anything and everything. So she got it all uncensored, and she was listening and paying attention. So I

Christine Boschen  20:19

wanted to ask you about that. I think that the skill set and the inner courage and strong personal boundaries that come with with that profession, and then how that translates for you into holding space. Because to me, when you're talking about the sensual sensuality and the eye contact, you are holding someone's attention, which is another way of saying you're holding space with them. And for them, you're holding their attention, and you are very engaged in understanding how to do that. And so from a sensual perspective, which I think you're probably in a small percentage of women in our culture that has allowed yourself to actually tap into your own sensuality in a really true, embodied way. There's so many rules that we have on us, so many judgments that we have on sexuality that you probably are in a smaller percentage of women who have allowed themselves to do that, holding space for yourself in your own sensuality and at the same time being on display. Can you tell us about that experience?

Chantal Heide  21:29

I love how you use the word allow, because I worked as a stripper for 20 years, from the age of 21 to 41 when I was in my early 30s, my second husband and I started a relationship, and his eight and nine year old son was in hockey at the time, and he was in hockey till he was 17. So I was with the hockey moms right for long time. So let's compare my stripper friends to the hockey mom group. I

Christine Boschen  22:02

would love to compare those two.

Chantal Heide  22:04

So the hockey mom group, so many of them wanted to be strippers, like we're at a house party and there's a pillar in the kitchen, and the hockey moms are trying to swing around the pillar in the kitchen because they wish they had become strippers, but they didn't allow themselves to do that. They didn't allow themselves to be so comfortable with their bodies and nudity and sexuality and love of dance, to combine it and make it a job and make money off of it. So we do have a culture that is very repressed, and it holds women especially down, because what is the one industry where women make more money than men in the sex work industry, and so in the one industry where women do make more money, they're shamed from it, right? So I knew I was going to be a stripper when I was six years old. I told my mom I was going to be a stripper when I was six years old, and when I was 21 I had the courage to start, and I did, wow, wow.

Christine Boschen  23:14

And so, so you're holding space for yourself. So you've at six, you already know that you are an embodied female, and this is a part of how you're expressing yourself. I already know this at six I

Chantal Heide  23:28

was I was watching TV, I was flipping through the channels, and I came across so I was born in 72 so this would have been around 78 so I too a black and white movie with a burlesque dancer named Sally ran. Now I didn't know she was burlesque. I didn't know her name was Sally ran. I didn't even know the word burlesque, but I saw a woman enter the scene, and she was wearing high heels in bikinis. She was using this big feather fan and dancing behind it. Yeah, sensuality, sexuality, comfort in her own body, and that's me. Oh, and added to dance, that's me. You take that equation, and that's me. And the moment my mom came home, I'm like, Mom, I know what I want to do when I grow up. I want to be a stripper. Because sensuality, sexuality, comfort with self, dance, that's me

Speaker 1  24:26

and and your mom's not being interviewed on this channel, so I'm not going to ask you what she did or said.

Chantal Heide  24:35

I'll tell you what she did, then I'll tell you what she does now. Then she was like, Oh, that's so funny. That's so cute, whatever. Now she tells parents, you better pay attention to what your kids are saying, because if they're saying they want to do something you don't want, don't ignore it. Convince them to do something else. And to that, I say, Mom, you never could have convinced me to do something else,

Christine Boschen  24:58

right? Because you were being you. You. I mean, you were holding a door open. And so here you are, 20 years holding space for yourself, expressing yourself, and then also by by that eye contact, by eyes on you, by your dance, by the attention on you, you're holding space for your I'm assuming, mostly male audience

Chantal Heide  25:21

or my art. I I'm not holding space for them to do it the way they want it. I'm holding space for my art and I'm into what I do and appreciate it, then you become a part of it. But if you not appreciating my art the way I exercise it, you're out.

Christine Boschen  25:45

So you so I'm assuming you you are not like tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming that you were not in control over those that were let in the door of those clubs.

Chantal Heide  25:55

No, but I control who saw what. And so sometimes when I was on stage, right? Because when I go on stage, I'm looking for the people who see the artistry and what I do, because I know what I'm doing is artistic. So I'm looking for the people that are catching on. They're not just looking for the vagina, they're looking for the artistry and the movement. And I see the people who find it. And so you're like, tick tock. You're watching the faces. Let me tell you my love, there's a point with those people when I'll be on stage and, you know, perverts row, it's right about here, right? Okay, I'll be on stage and there'll be a guy sitting in perverts row, and I'm in front of him, and I'm leaning back, Buck naked, and I got my legs open, and they got guys here. They're locked in here, because this entire time, I've locked them in to the point where I can be right in front of their faces and opening my legs, and they're here.

Christine Boschen  26:50

So this is a transformative experience for you and for them.

Chantal Heide  26:54

It's, it's, it's very empowering, because I know what I want from this, which is the energy. I come into the stage, and I'm bringing in energy, and I'm seeing who's picking up on the vibration, and the people who get in on the vibration elevate the vibration. Yeah, and it comes to me, and I get it, and I go, that was high, and I my vibration goes higher, and it hits those people back again, and it takes them higher. And what happens in this exchange, and I feel it is this elevation in each of us. We're doing this. We're riding on each other to the point where at the end, I'm vibrating so high, I'm literally shaking from it. I don't need drugs, I don't need alcohol, but I'll take your energy, ah,

Christine Boschen  27:45

and so you're really bringing the divine feminine, the Goddess energy, into this. You're You're reclaiming sexuality for all of us by why this?

Chantal Heide  27:55

And they those ones, not the ones that are just looking for Jai. Jai, not the one objectify without seeing personality or artistry, but the ones that I tap into, they get something from this, yeah, from an experience, and they got it.

Christine Boschen  28:15

I'm just gonna take a moment, take a moment to let that settle. And for those that are listening to let that settle. I want to move us into the here and now, where you are now, bringing your artistry to your business and to your to your books and to your tick tock. So let's move from from the erotic beauty of the central art that you made for 20 years on stage in live performances, into the what did you learn from that about relationships that then what was your entry point into I'm starting a business, and I'm helping people, and I'm helping them in their relationships. Am I right that that was the first point of help that you came to offer relationship coaching, relationship help on the floor

Chantal Heide  29:14

in the strip club, which is why it was such an easy transition, because in the dressing room, what were the girls talking about their boyfriends and problems on the floor. Do you think every single person I danced for was single? I had right? I hadn't married people who were coming. So I was fixing marriages. I was helping girls leave bad relationships. And so after 20 years of stripping, at 41 when I said to myself, you know, it's kind of time to age out, what am I going to do next? So the next question I asked myself is, what am I already doing that I love because I'm so hedonistic, why would I suffer? The answer was, give advice. And so then I. Myself in what format, in what way, and it took me a little bit of time to piece it together, but ultimately the answer was as a life coach, niching and dating and relationships,

Christine Boschen  30:12

okay? And so now let's, let's take that, and fast forward to today and to this project that you and Krista are working on together. And Krista, I want, I also want to bring in that. This is the second film that you've done. So there was the great highway, the film about the surfing culture in San Francisco. Great highway. Yep. And so I'd like to understand from both of your perspectives, as artists and as creators, what this collaboration means together the two of you making this film. And if we could just jump over to Christa for a moment, Christine, the other film that I have watched, that you have already made is is a beautiful tribute to the personalities, the people that created the serving culture and that pioneered in the very cold, choppy waters of Northern California, or we call it northern it's really more central here in the Bay Area and and so you, you went from a degree in photography, and so you've got, you've got that, that theater background, and also, As a stagehand and and a surfer, can you tell us for a few minutes how you how that project was and, and how you came to do that project, because that, I think, feeds into what what you are doing together here too.

Krista Howell  31:32

Yeah, that project was also a labor of love, and I had found surfing, which I actually used to replace antidepressants. So I had been some depression much of my life, and after being on antidepressants and deciding I didn't like it and I didn't want to support the pharmaceutical industry, I decided, if I start surfing every day, it's going to do for my brain what these drugs are doing, but in a natural, healthy way, that's

Christine Boschen  31:59

a peace verb, spend time with water. Mm, hmm. So spending time with water,

Krista Howell  32:05

so it became not only my medication, but my church, my spirituality. Being in the ocean has a way of really showing you how insignificant you can be. You know, it's huge, and here this tiny person just, you know, floating around at will to its currents. And, you know, it moves you where, where it wants to put you. So it there's sort of a an awakening that comes with that,

Christine Boschen  32:31

and the meditation that comes with that, right? It's like very strong being in the present moment, right? Absolutely.

Krista Howell  32:38

And it was also a huge confidence builder, because it's terrifying, you know, to jump into the rough, crazy ocean, freezing cold. It can be very dangerous, but doing that and learning about it and surviving it, and not only surviving it, but loving it, enjoying it, having fun and then excelling in it, I began competing in it, and it became my world for quite a long time, but it really did replace the the pharmaceutical pharmaceuticals, the antidepressants. I didn't need those anymore, and now I'm very in tune with the fact that your brain is part of your body, and if your body isn't healthy, how can your brain be healthy? So there's, you know, there's this comprehensive group of things that have to be taking place. You know, exercise, physical exercise, and some sort of spirituality, some sort of, I mean, all comes together to make you a well rounded, more healthy person. So,

Christine Boschen  33:36

so you, you envisioned, you envisioned at that before you started surfing, you envisioned that you could do this and that it would help you. There was a, there was a seeing it in, in your mind's eye first, and then making a decision and acting on the decision. So I'm just pulling out the piece first. I'm hearing, I'm hearing you envisioned. I'm hearing you acted you tried, yeah, I

Krista Howell  33:58

noticed I started surfing and I enjoyed it, but I just did it here and there. But I noticed that on the days that I served, yeah, I felt great for the rest of the day, for the rest of the week, like if I served in the morning, nothing could bother me for the rest of the day. Like I was good, I was grounded. Nothing could ruffle my feathers, grounded by the water, yeah, yeah. And I recognize that in Chantal as well, because I see all these guys coming into the live stream saying the most hideous, horrible things. And she's unaffected. She's like, Yeah, I just block that, delete that, and get rid of that. I don't allow that in my space, taking full responsibility, yeah, for her surroundings, her environment, which is pretty much the same thing that I was doing by surfing every day, putting myself in that place where I needed to be. So

Christine Boschen  34:49

yeah, it's a universal life force, energy that both of you are engaging in in different settings, and yet, that's what it is, isn't it? When you're in the ocean that is your. Immediately physically surrounded with this, this incredible life force and Chantal, the way you're describing performance is it feels very much like that, including

Krista Howell  35:09

that tie it back to Chantelle again, she has been coming up, which is going to be at Niagara Falls. And it's for that reason, because it's water, yeah, power in the water. And if she'll tell if you want to speak to that, please. But there's a that's a very common theme between us, the water, being with the water.

35:27

Yeah,

Chantal Heide  35:30

yeah. I very much believe in in the energy of water. I love being near water. I'm not a water baby by any means whatsoever, but I have an intense draw to be around whales. I have an intense draw to be near water. And every time I host a retreat, there is an water, a water element to it, because I really feel like water moves and it shifts. And I am hosting this particular celebration at the most powerful water source I could find,

Christine Boschen  36:03

right, right? So, so we, we have Christa making this film about surfing. So Christine you, it was a piecing together of the history of of the surf culture in Ocean Beach, and there was quite a few interviews of people. So, so I see that as being very similar to this project that you're working on with Chantal. So rather than just filming Chantal, you're also interviewing people that are in Chantal circle. Am I right about that? Yes,

Krista Howell  36:31

people that are in our circle, but also people that have come from different backgrounds, that are affected in different ways by what she teaches, you know? And well, to be fair, the surf documentary was a project I did with someone else, so it wasn't just me, but since that was completed, I was looking for the next project that really inspired me to do it on my own, you know? I mean, I have, I have a crew, but this was my project this is, you're the director, yeah, and Chantelle story, and what she's teaching, like, really gripped me enough to make me so motivated to get this out there, because, and I don't even know it's interesting, because I don't have kids, and I I probably one of those people that shouldn't care so much into The future generations because I didn't make kids. But for some reason, it means a lot to me to see the change in the world. What her teaching I think will bring about. Even though I don't have kids of my own, I just there's so many women, including myself, that go into chantelles live streams, and you hear them say, I wish I had known this when I was younger. I wish I had this as a teenager. And right keeps coming up. Um, so

Christine Boschen  37:48

here we are. Are we? We're all we're all in our early 50s, the three of us, yeah, and here we are having this awareness that that we need to be out there in the ears and in front of the eyes of people that need support and help and finding their center,

Chantal Heide  38:07

but that, that is what the matriarchy is, right? Our fertility cycle shuts down, our sex drive shuts right, our desire to mate and partner shuts down. So where does that energy go? To education.

Christine Boschen  38:24

So in the triple goddess, I want to bring it. I want to bring in the triple goddess Chantal, because you, you invoked six year old, you. So we've got the maiden, right? The maiden tapped into her own vitality and life purpose. And then we see, I guess, we go into the mother, right? So in your in your reproductive years, you were full on, embracing the sensuality and sexuality, and then now entering into the crone years. How, how are you teaching? How are you supporting others to come up? So I want to bring in the triple Goddess. I think that's an important

Chantal Heide  39:02

piece to hold. I think we can be the triple goddess when we practice self awareness,

Christine Boschen  39:08

right, right? So I'm gonna just take a quick look at this, this piece list. So I'm so the two of you are coming together to create this film. The film is the revolution, evolution. So evolution revolution, did I mix it the order of the two words, evolution revolution, writing a

Krista Howell  39:31

book by this? Yeah, so they'll share branding, and it may have been done before in history, but I can't think of a time where a documentary and a book partnered as a project to raise awareness and to teach. So that's that's what we're doing, in my view, we, yeah, we're just raising awareness, getting our arms wide and bringing in as many people as we possibly can. So

Christine Boschen  39:57

and it seems to me that the this. Central focus of this project is the pairing of the two piece verbs, one of them being alone and the other one being together. Because what I'm hearing from the what you're talking about, both of you, is this, this central importance to being still in a one with yourself, to listen, to hear, acknowledge and and dedicate yourself to you, to who you are. And then in that process, you bring forward what the world needs from you. And so then it goes back to being together. You bring forward what the world needs from you. And so here Christa, you are a filmmaker. And Chantal, you are the the object of the film being made, and the two of you, you need each other for this, for this exercise, for this project. You can't do it all by yourself, and none of us can do it by ourselves.

Chantal Heide  40:54

Even on my live streams, I say to the people that are watching, I say, I am nobody without you,

Christine Boschen  41:01

right? And yet you have to be you, and you have to do that without them. It's this really paradoxical thing,

Chantal Heide  41:10

yeah? But when you say, I love it, how you you kind of piece that together, the alone and then the together part, because something that I say is my number one relationship roles, it's not fair to ask for anything you're not willing to do first. So whatever we're asking to have happen when we're together, we need to be able to give it to ourselves when we are alone. If I'm asking for understanding, I need to look at myself and understand myself. If I'm asking for happiness to be provided, I need to look at myself and provide the happiness. If I'm asking for peace to be provided, I need to look at myself and provide peace. And

Christine Boschen  41:46

so there's a step in there, which is, okay, if I need to provide peace, I need to provide happiness, I need to provide self, love, all of that. Then there's this. The next question is, well, what is it do? I even know there's a vacuum that we face, that that I see in your book, the one that I've read, that there's journal prompts at the end of every chapter.

Chantal Heide  42:10

But what we're doing is we're turning it backwards. We're saying, I'm not happy. How can I get somebody to make me happy? I'm not happy. How can I make myself happy so I can explain to someone else how my happiness happens, so they can understand and not interfere,

Christine Boschen  42:30

understand and not interfere, and so you are actually correcting and up writing and grounding the false paradigm of the princess getting rescued by the prince.

Chantal Heide  42:41

Yes, I am. I am counter culture with what I teach, which is why people are paying attention, because I'm counter culture, yet I make so much more sense,

Speaker 1  42:55

because you are true and correct. And so that is another piece for be true,

Chantal Heide  43:00

which shows how our culture is lying to us,

Christine Boschen  43:05

and yet we understand and we resonate with truth, don't we? If we hear it, we feel it, which is really where your success is coming from. People are hearing and feeling and recognizing. Yeah,

Krista Howell  43:20

I would love to, if I may, bring something up that Chantal speaks about a lot, which is the bonobos and the chimpanzees. And I would love to Chantelle if you could, because it's so good.

Chantal Heide  43:35

So I am, I'm a researcher. I am a massive nerd and I need to understand. I always have to ask why, and come to an understanding. And when I look at humanity and how we function, I ask myself, why are we functioning this way? And the reason is because we're functioning under a patriarchy. But what I've come to understand is that there are two chimps. There are two primates that are within a 5% difference of genetic code to human beings, meaning there's less than a 5% difference between us genetically. And there are two there's the chimpanzees and the bonobos. And what is interesting about this is chimpanzees are patriarchal and bonobos are matriarchal. So when we study those two cultures, we see how we could be. When we look at chimpanzees that are patriarchal, the dominant ones are the ones that mate. There is massive violence within the troop. Massive violence outside of the troop. They fight amongst themselves and tear each other apart. They fight with other troops and tear them apart. And this is patriarchy. This is male dominated. We look at bonobos and it is female dominated matriarchy. Sexuality is a greeting. It's so casual, I'll say hi to you by diddling you and giving you that's how. Sexual it is. That's a good that's a hello, wow. So, because sexuality is so free, think about this, you just got diddled five minutes ago. Are you stressed out right now? No, you had an orgasm. You're good. Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, I gotta have a nap. There's no violence. And so in the matriarchal model, which has unconstrained sexuality, it's all peace and love. So I like to look at our two cultures and go, what do we actually want to be? Do we want to be sexually repressed and violent, or do we want to be open and accepting and loving?

Christine Boschen  45:41

So there's a book called pussy a reclamation. Have the two of you read this book, the show notes, I'm going to have to remind myself the wonderful author, Regina Thomas Sauer, and she makes the connection to the Goddess at a very young age as well. And to her, the goddess is basically a beam of sunshine is, I think, the best way to describe that warm, inclusive, beautiful, sunny day feeling, and to connect to to our sensuality, to to our orgasm, to allowing ourselves that that Humanity, by allowing, by women, allowing women to be women ourselves, that that beauty and that well being can ripple out to everybody.

Chantal Heide  46:32

Yep, yep, there's,

Christine Boschen  46:34

there's so much overlap of your work with with Virginia's work.

Chantal Heide  46:41

Good. Yeah. Again. Fundamental knowledge strikes again. Yes,

Speaker 1  46:47

yeah, definitely. Chantal, you had some notes before coming into this conversation. Did you want to take a look at them? And were there peace verbs you wanted to

Chantal Heide  46:58

highlight? I did so I can go through them really super quickly. So what I added to that was silence, because it is, it is communication technique that I've used for the past nine years, which has led to my husband and I having a much more peaceful relationship. Because in the silence, I do my thinking, and in thinking, I asked myself, Do I really need to say that so so much peace is gained because I'm not saying things that I shouldn't be saying. Once I reflect on them in attachment to that, I add a conversation flow chart slash right timing. Right timing is something you wrote in your words. The conversation flow chart is assessing what you're going to say before you say it, and deciding if you should or not, even because more often than not, in the silence, I found that actually I didn't need to say that. I could just fix it myself and everything would be fine. So

Christine Boschen  47:55

there's a pause point. There's a pause point you're pressing the pause in the relationship, conversation,

Chantal Heide  48:01

in me, in yourself, because he doesn't know I was about to say something, right? So the pause happens inside of me. I'm about to say something, but let me do a conversation flow chart. Is it positive? Is it negative? Is it a problem? Have I solved it yet? So I do all this work, meaning I'm not vomiting into my relationship. When I do talk to my partner, it is much more constructive and functional. You're bringing the logic in 100% and I listen like if I solve a problem, I on my own, I might say to him, hey baby. I had a moment of insecurity, but then I reminded myself of who I picked. I remind myself of how you how you prove to me you love me and are devoted to me. And then I did some meditation to just calm my mind and anxieties, because obviously my amygdala is overactive right now, and I feel so much better. And that's a conversation of me having a problem, fixing the problem before talking to him about the problem, meaning the conversation was me talking about my solutions, instead of me going to him, going, I feel insecure. Fix me

Christine Boschen  49:07

Right, right? And so what you're talking about, Christine might accomplish, on on our surfboard, this, this pause, this, this centering, and this connection to self and and so you're you're being very proactive in this description of understanding that a relationship, a marriage, a cohabitation, is a job that we responsibility. It's a responsibility. I don't mean a job like a burden. I mean a job like it's an active engagement. We show up to it, we contribute to it. And if we bring our focus to it, and we bring our logic to it, that we contribute at a higher, more more generous and positive and helpful way, yes,

Krista Howell  49:55

something else says it's not 5050, it's 100 100

Speaker 1  50:01

oh my gosh, I love that. Yeah, yeah, that's right,

Krista Howell  50:05

yeah.

Chantal Heide  50:09

Um, I put responsibility in there as we need to take responsibility for our own thoughts, emotions and behaviors. I have surrender in there because we need to release the outcome and do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, and just the outcome acknowledgement. I get a lot of peace from acknowledging the good that my husband does, instead of trying to find things he doesn't do and then just circling around that like a turd in the toilet bowl.

Christine Boschen  50:37

So being grateful. Oh, sorry, sorry, you jumped right into turn in the toilet bowl. Let's talk about, I don't know, flowers and rainbows and the seeing the beauty in him and pausing and recognizing and expressing gratitude for the beauty that he brings.

Chantal Heide  50:54

Yeah, because, like, you know, if we if we talk about love languages, I'm a words of affirmation and physical affection. Person, my husband, is physical affection and acts of service. I can lack of words of affirmation and ignore the affection and acts of service, but if I do that, I'll get less affection and acts of service, right? Because

Christine Boschen  51:15

we all, we all are strengthened when we are seen and appreciated for

Chantal Heide  51:21

our strength like I I appreciate what my husband brings. We are puzzle pieces. His weaknesses are my strengths. My weaknesses are his strengths. And so when you pick a good partnership like that, you're not nitpicking or trying to change somebody. You are seeing the good, the bad, the ugly, and accepting it all. Why would I nitpick on what he's not doing while surely accepting all the good stuff, he is like, I'm not balancing, right?

Christine Boschen  51:47

So balance, there's a peace verb, right there as well.

Chantal Heide  51:51

Yeah, um, manifestation, right? We are creating what we want, accepting, right? The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, again, creates a lot of peace. I'm not trying to change him. I accept him, even the stuff I don't agree. If I didn't agree with him, if I need to change him, I'm I'm with the wrong person. So I'm creating my own chaos by committing to somebody I'm attempting to change, to try for me. So I create my peace by having acceptance in my relationship, even when I disagree. But again, the disagreements have to be disagreements you accept,

Christine Boschen  52:28

like agreements you accept. If you can't accept it, then that might be about a boundary that you have. It's more accepting yourself. It's a mismatch. So I guess that was what I was trying to say. If you've paired yourself with somebody that's not the right partner for you, you have overstepped your own boundary. Yes, yeah.

Chantal Heide  52:46

And maybe you just didn't do enough due diligence within yourself to understand what you wanted before picking a partner, which is how you ended up with somebody that you're finding you don't accept.

Christine Boschen  52:56

And so it's about that 100% work that you do. That work, you do that self listening, that self reflection, that self knowing before you even try to engage in partnership. And

Chantal Heide  53:08

that's what no more assholes is all about as well. Like the first three sections, add a seven. You're not even looking for somebody yet. It's all about the self.

Christine Boschen  53:19

You have very catchy titles, very relatable titles.

Chantal Heide  53:22

Thank you. I'm custom made to be able to teach in a way that is very easy for people to pick up and then turn around and teach to other people.

Christine Boschen  53:34

I got that from from the book of yours that I read absolutely yay. Can

Chantal Heide  53:39

I ask you, what was your favorite part about that book?

Christine Boschen  53:44

Let's see. So, yeah, that was just a very personal like, oh yeah, she's absolutely right about the quieting of the mind and about understanding where you're leaking your energy and your own thoughts, and how absolutely critical that is for all of us. I and and especially in the in the modern era of social media, where we can leak our energy all over the place if we're not actually actively driving our own engagement.

Chantal Heide  54:20

Yeah, good, yeah. I'm glad I could teach you something. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, you're welcome.

Krista Howell  54:29

There's something else that reminds me of that Chantelle says, which is, you know, don't let other people's dysfunction be your distraction. We win our time to care, take people and to, you know, pick projects and fix people and cater to not the best side of them, and we don't need to do that. So that's something I found very helpful from her, because she also says, you know, you can't ask for anything relationship. You don't bring yourself. So it's really about being. Seeing the right person for relationship as much as it is finding the right person. So

Christine Boschen  55:05

it's, you're elevating, you're elevating the game for everybody,

Krista Howell  55:09

and take that personal responsibility for your own actions and for yourself as you do so, whilst also setting boundaries. So you know, it's,

Christine Boschen  55:21

it's a lot. It's really exciting. So if I could bring it back to the two of you to this, this project that you're working on together, and what kind of trajectory Do you see? Like, I know, with a creative project, you can't say, oh yeah, I'm going to be finished at 4pm on April 15. Like, you don't necessarily know exactly, but how far along are you in in your creation process, actually,

Krista Howell  55:43

with this one, as opposed to the my previous film, we do have a really solid timeline, and we have a very planned out set of actions that are going to take place. We're trying to complete this film this year 2025. Is the year. That's the goal we are gonna we did a shoot. I went to Canada in January, and we did over 10 interviews, and also spent lots and probably dozens of hours with Chantal. We have one of my greatest shoot, one of our most fun shooting days ever, where we got Chantelle back in the club where she was a dancer, wow. And we got her up on the stage and she danced, and it was amazing. And we did all kinds of fun camera stuff, and we used a bunch of different cameras, and it was all around a hugely successful day. And the whole trip was very successful. We got some really important voices included in the film. So we're I'll be continuing with interviewing lots of other people. Chantal and I have plans to probably go to Montreal together and revisit some of her places where she grew up, and revisit Yeah, where she came from, yeah, and and then we have another retreat that may or may not be part of it, but then we're going to wrap it up at Niagara Falls. Well, not quite. We're going to do the Niagara Falls event, which is a huge event. We're going to be doing a short version, premiering a short version of the documentary film at that event, but we'll also be filming during that event. Okay, so it's like a last shoot, but now we've decided to include the next script up, which is the pool dancing contest competition in November. So we'll do that shoot as well, but then we'll be editing throughout the year. End of those two events, October and November, we should be finished with the film by the end of the year. So so

Christine Boschen  57:39

so I'm hearing have fun, the peace verb, have fun, be in your joy, explore and create together. It sounds like an amazing adventure. It

Krista Howell  57:52

has been a lot of fun, and it's going to continue to be a lot of fun. And I think we're, I'm learning a lot, and you know, it's, it's it's, hopefully. There seems to be a lot of energy behind it. The people that are in the live streams every day seem to be really excited about this and looking forward to it. And we have some really cool voices to include. I mean, we have a guy in the Ukraine, we have some a woman who's on the forefront of AI and technology, oh my gosh, wow. Mine, that's, well, you know, Mari Newman, I'm gonna hopefully include her. She's a very powerful civil rights attorney who's just incredibly, incredibly well spoken feminist activist.

Speaker 1  58:37

Talk about being in your truth. Yeah, yeah.

Krista Howell  58:41

So. So this is gonna, this is, this is a big project. There's a lot of topics here. You know, bodily autonomy, women's rights, empowering women, this is huge. But I think we're gonna really create something incredible. And looking at what we've shot so far, we're we're on that track. For sure, I want to

Christine Boschen  59:03

thank you both for being brave.

Krista Howell  59:07

Thank you, thanks for it's rewarding.

Chantal Heide  59:09

And something that I teach is you have to pick your behaviors despite your emotions, so standing up for yourself, not letting people cross your boundaries, being firm, being assertive, defending yourself when people make false accusations, these are things that take courage. And a lot of us came from abusive parents. A lot of us were punched down upon. Many of us had our faces slapped if we even showed an emotion, let alone speak our voice, and so we had to undo that conditioning and learn to start rising up again. So it does take courage in the beginning, because you have all the anxiety and stress cues, like the knotted stomach, the sweating palms, the dry mouth, the pounding heart. It's it feels. Physically difficult to do so because of all the symptoms, and I know it because I had to do the journey myself. But what I've learned, and what I'm teaching people is that the first time you do it, it is so terrifying, so is the second but the third time, it gets a bit easier, because those first two times showed you how much better it was. It was not as bad as you thought it was going to be get the reaction you thought you were going to get. You were punished the way you thought you were going to be punished. In fact, things got better. Things got easier. So by the time you get to the third time, it's still stressful, but a little bit easier. And as as time goes on, the more you do it, the more you do it, the more you see how standing up for yourself gave you the better outcome, the easier it becomes, because now you're seeking that better outcome. Just give me the chance to stand out for myself. I will take it full throttle so

Christine Boschen  1:00:50

you're being brave, you are trying, and you're persisting those three piece verbs together

Chantal Heide  1:00:56

in the beginning, but practice makes perfect and courage like it takes fear to have courage, it comes to a point where you're operating from confidence instead of courage.

Speaker 1  1:01:10

Okay? Yeah, of

Krista Howell  1:01:15

itself is very empowering, right? It's like what I was saying about jumping in the ocean and being terrified, but realizing like, I can do this, you know? So that's that helps you grow a lot. Purposely

Christine Boschen  1:01:28

putting yourself in a in a environment where you're stretching yourself, where you are taking on a fear, it, it, push it, it. You get to embody yourself then, right? Rather than staying small, you get to actually fill yourself into yourself.

Chantal Heide  1:01:45

Yes, and but also what you see is the fear mongering. Listen, nothing, nothing, all of those people that said, if you stand up, if you dare, if you dare, own your space, you'll pay the price, and it's not going to be good. And what we saw is we owned our space, and it was amazing,

Speaker 1  1:02:06

yeah, and that's the message. Is there anything else that you would want to communicate in this space of pieces and action verb in relation to the work that you're doing together.

Krista Howell  1:02:30

I just want to encourage people to keep growing, keep learning, keep knowing that you can improve your life, you can improve your situation. We we get to choose our own reality. You know, we're here one time, so we get to, we only get that shot so, and that's one thing you know, I was, I've been battling cancer for a year. I am cancer free now, but that experience awakened me to realize, hey, what am I waiting for to do the thing I want to do? I'm going to do them now. No, I don't have cancer anymore. It really pointed out to me that, you know, we're not guaranteed tomorrow. And if there's something you want to do a dream, you have do it. Do it because, because, what if good? What if everything goes right? What if everything goes right? What if it all works out, then what can we do next? Look how much power we just gained, right? And

Christine Boschen  1:03:34

also, if it goes wrong, you still have more information at that point in time, right?

Krista Howell  1:03:40

You have more life. Next thing that you do right? And

Christine Boschen  1:03:44

it seems to me that there's a taste of being alive includes tasting all of it right, the good and the bad. And if we think the only reason to do something is to succeed, then we lose the taste of the failures too. And something about failing is is also a part of it. It's also a part of being alive to say yes to the growth.

Chantal Heide  1:04:07

Well, failing forward is still moving forward. Failing

Christine Boschen  1:04:09

forward, right, right. Yeah, that's right. Stay

Krista Howell  1:04:14

stuck and frozen. Just keep keep moving. Keep going forward. Yeah.

Chantal Heide  1:04:23

Thank you so much. Welcome Christine, thank you. You're welcome. Thank.