When I was a tiny baby child, I had a pet tree named Umbe. Now that I'm grown and Umbe is dead, I pay my respects by buying half-sheet paper towels and publicly shaming people who don't recycle. I was born and raised in rural Northwestern Wisconsin where everyone knew the color of everyone else's bathroom towels. I went to college at Bradly University in Peoria, IL - a town best known for a strip club called Big Al's. Nobody knows what happened to Al, but I bet he's relatively happy. I'm an ultra runner, writer (obviously), and recovered from an eating disorder. I enjoy learning, laughter, and human connection. My day job is in sales and I currently live in Dana Point, CA with my beautiful, sexy cat.