Beauty in Battle Podcast

Strength Through Strain

February 21, 2023 Episode 57
Strength Through Strain
Beauty in Battle Podcast
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Beauty in Battle Podcast
Strength Through Strain
Feb 21, 2023 Episode 57

Join us as we interview our good friends, Zach and Andi Wooldridge, and they share how they've been able to balance a growing family, make it through a crazy military life, and manage a hectic schedule all while growing closer to each other in the process. 

Zach and Andi are a part of our Beauty In Battle Marriage Mentorship program, and today they're going to share some of the keys they've discovered that have helped them draw together in the midst of strain and struggle rather than grow apart. 

Both are entrepreneurs, which means they are natural fighters with crazy amounts of ambition. Yet they've discovered how to leverage their strengths in the midst of trying times in order to grow closer to each other and their kids at the same time. 

Go grab a cup of Joe and tune in!

Show Notes Transcript

Join us as we interview our good friends, Zach and Andi Wooldridge, and they share how they've been able to balance a growing family, make it through a crazy military life, and manage a hectic schedule all while growing closer to each other in the process. 

Zach and Andi are a part of our Beauty In Battle Marriage Mentorship program, and today they're going to share some of the keys they've discovered that have helped them draw together in the midst of strain and struggle rather than grow apart. 

Both are entrepreneurs, which means they are natural fighters with crazy amounts of ambition. Yet they've discovered how to leverage their strengths in the midst of trying times in order to grow closer to each other and their kids at the same time. 

Go grab a cup of Joe and tune in!

All right, so today this is, We get a chance to bring on some really good pals of ours. Yes. And who are in our marriage mentorship program, Zach and Andy Woodridge. Um, they, they have the coolest story. They really do. You know where Zach starts out in the military?

Mm-hmm. and he's gone all the time and Andy's raising their kids and he, Zach totally abandoned her for our country . He did. I think when, when we. Andy and Zach, they had four kids, I wanna say under the age of four. Yeah. Is that right, Andy and Zach? Under the age of five. Five. But who's counting? ? Who's counting?

Who's counting? Four Sounds better, guys. , but the reason why four under four. Yeah. The reason we wanted them to come on is because when they first got married, and I want you guys to dive into the story here in just a second, but, When they first got married, I mean, obviously even before they were married, they had a long distance relationship.

Then they got married, Zach goes in the military. And, um, that it was long distance, you know, marriage and Andy's raising the kids. Then they come back together and now they've started businesses together and, and, and having four, five, no, four kids under the age of five like they did. So you, there are so many couples that would've experienced the exact same scenario as you guys and had gotten.

Like, they just wouldn't have made it through. But y'all have not only made it through, but you're stronger as a result. And, uh, and that's, we're like, we totally wanna dive into this story. So yes, you guys better be ready to answer some of our questions. , we're gonna cry and cry, but before we start, we wanna play one of Andy and Zach's favorite love songs.

So give us a little history. Why is this one of your. Wagon Wheel by Darius Rucker. , if I'm being honest. Uh, I used it to play the guitar for Andy to make in love with me. Duh. So, uh, YouTube University had to play the guitar and uh, it worked and we're still here, so, um, yeah. That's impressive. It's pretty, I love it to learn.

So Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it is easy and it's fun to play. It's kinda like a. It's kinda like a worship song where there's only four chords and you just played all the same thing. Oh, I love it. You know what I mean? Nice. Okay. I did not know that you played this for her, that Why don't you play it real quick?

All here it is. Wagon Wheel by Darius Rucker.

Okay, now that's quality. Like, like Zach, I can see you sitting on a bar stool with just chaps on Yeah, and maybe some sunglasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only chap. Yeah, only chaps. Well, what what he did, it happened on two different occasions while we were dating, is he, uh, decided to take over the band that was currently on stage and ask them to borrow the guitar and play a song.

And he did that twice. . That's a bold move, Zach. Yeah. Were you, was that motivated by Andy? Standing, uh, sitting in the crowd? . Oh. I mean, you know, they say love makes you do crazy things. Um mm-hmm. . Just ask. I Yeah, that'd be crazy. , you know? Yeah. Um, yeah, that's just kind of how it went down. I don't know what I was thinking.

I was young and , you know, and just weren't really thinking maybe. Yeah. Wasn't really thinking, but it was fun. It was good memories. Yeah. Really. That's awesome. So, so I wanna dive in because, uh, one of the things that we say, uh, over and over, um, Tori and I, is that strength comes through. and that if God wants to make you a stronger person, he's gonna put you through some strenuous stuff.

And it's not always easy. And that really does play out in marriage. But for you guys, the strain was actually picked up, uh, immeasurably in terms of your, your schedules, young kids and all that. But now here you are, seven years in and. You love each other. You like each other, you laugh. You have fun and you've drawn close.

So I want, let's, let's go back. Let's talk about your story. Which one of you want us to start out? Take us back. I think you got married in a courthouse, right? Mm-hmm. . We did. That's so romantic. Yep, it is. Tell us about it. Romantic. Uh, well, so when Andy and I met, she was finishing up her senior year in college and I.

I'm about to join the military and uh, we just started hanging out a lot and, uh, CrossFitting a lot. Like she's the one that got me into CrossFit and um, oh yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She kicked my butt . She had, I'm pretty sure she had bigger biceps than I did back then. Um, okay. Check it. I could totally see that.

Yeah. So, but yeah, we had, we had a lot of fun. I mean, we, we, I mean, it was a good time. It was, we had ventured a lot together. We had ventured a lot, a lot of hikes, a lot, you know, that sort of stuff. And then she, uh, she left, she graduated college and moved back up to South Carolina. So there was like, I don't know what, six, seven months of me literally driving through the night.

To go up to South Carolina. He, he sold his big lifted truck for a Mazda coop so that he could drive to South Carolina and afford it. Wow. That's love now. That's love. That is love. Yes. Yes. That was, that's a tough one to let go of. That was a great truck. Um, it was, that was a good start. Yeah. Yeah. So a lot of sacrifice from the beginning don't want you to forget that

Um, and then, you know, uh, so we did that for, for a while, and then I joined the military and, um, you know, Obviously if, if anyone's joined the military before, you understand, you get in and you go, you know, it's just a lot of not stopping. So, um, I went through, uh, a lot of my, my so basic training, went through my pipeline, um, went to dive school in Panama and there was times she'd come out and visit and stuff and uh, and then moved out to New Mexico.

And I basically called her dad and said, Hey, I want to marry your daughter. And he's like, I'd be honored cuz I'm just amazing. Right. , you know, because you're stuck. I'm kidding. Um, so yeah, so she came out and we got engaged and then uh, we got married in a courthouse in some random town in New Mexico You would not know of because I think, oh my goodness.

We did it because, uh, what was it? Do you want me to add some detail here? Yeah, sure. Okay. So we were engaged and he called and said he had just gotten in process at his base. Uh, he got his schedule and he's like, well, looking at my schedule, we can either get married, uh, this week or we can wait two years.

So what would you like to, oh gosh. Wow. So I said, well, let me talk to my dad, , okay, how much do you love me? Uh, then they had a long phone conversation and, uh, my dad. Um, it turned out that the day we got married is actually the same day that my parents got married, so there was no, oh my goodness. Uh, and so yeah, I flew out two days later, got married in a courthouse in Los Lunas, New Mexico, and, uh, flew back.

Wow. Did you guys. Did you guys work it out to where you could ask your parents, Hey, whatever money you saved on us not doing a regular wedding. Can you just send us a check? ? Nope, nope. Oh, come on. Yeah. No, we didn't get that. Nope. Um, you just, you got each other though. Yeah, we got each other. Yeah. And then short, shortly after that, uh, Andy found out she was pregnant with Mason, so it was like, wow.

Bam, bam. Thank you, ma'am. Um, yep. You. And uh, and, and then you got like, how long, so you got married, how long until you got shipped out. So we got married in August. Uh, I found out I was pregnant about, uh, six, seven weeks later and I had a full time. It was after the marriage. It was, just wanna say that . I get it.

It was that weekend. Uh, yeah, it was quick. I love it. That's, that's our story too. Five, five months after we got married, we were pregnant and we were not expecting it . So you found out you were pregnant? Yeah. Yep. I had then what a full time job in South Carolina. So I had to quit that and, uh, arrange to move out to New Mexico because I did not wanna have a baby long distance.

Okay. So we did that. I moved out in November. Uh, he was in his pipeline of training, which was about a two year pipeline. So he was there, uh, but he was busy. He was in school and, you know, different training classes all day, every day. And, uh, had Mason, our first baby in May of that next year. And three months later he left for clinical trainings for his paramedic course and was gone for three months.

And that was kind of the beginning of our back to long distance, you know, connect here and there. Relationship. Wow. So how did you manage things, Andy? How did you get past this? While Zach is off having the time of his life with all of his buddies, , uh, and he's gone and you have an infant, uh, how, how did you.

So I struggled to start with, I, it was a serious shock to go from having kind of established my career path and my idea of where I wanted to go, and then abruptly kind of drop everything just to move out there. Uh, I'd never lived in the desert before. I was thousands of miles away from my family all of a sudden, and in a town that I, you know, was very new to.

So it definitely forced me to. Grow up. I was 21 years old and I had to be a mom and a spouse to someone who was heavily involved in the military. And a lot of that just comes with putting yourself in that situation. And you have two choices. Either you move through it or you give up, and, uh, neither one of us or ones to give up.

So though first year was, um, a lot of struggle, uh, trying to figure out how to live together as well as, you know, having a baby and becoming parents overnight. It, it, it was a, a blur. It was a trying time, but that's just kind of been our relationship from the beginning. And we were talking about it last week and it's like, you know, some people see where we are now and it's like, oh, you just have had it so easy.

And it's like, no. It's, it's been one thing after another for our entire relationship. And the really, the only thing that's gotten us here is our, uh, refusing to give up. We've got some grit, some down downright grit, and, uh, that's helped float us through when times have been really difficult. Yeah. And that is, wow.

That is, that goes without saying because I mean, Tori and I have seen it. We've, we've spent, you know, we talked with you guys once a week, , you know? Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. We've seen times where we've gotten onto Zoom calls and you guys are not like, wanting to sit close to each other, , you know, but yet by the end of it, I mean, we totally see how both of you have such grit.

Yeah. And I think that's so, so good for couples to hear, you know, whoever's listening to this, just there are times when your pure commitment mm-hmm. to your spouse to making things work is the only thing that will get you through. Right? Yeah. There's not like somehow to, on how to get you through. You just have to keep going.

Now, were you guys both believers at this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we both grew up, you know, in Christian homes and I mean, obviously like, I can only speak for myself, my walk with God was like, well, when I was going through my pipeline, like I, I really kind of hooked into that, you know, like, I mean, yeah, I remember sitting on the gutter of the pool and like about to get drown.

And I was just like, oh gosh, reciting gosh, Bible verses and praying. I'm like, oh God, please get me through this. Um, mm. I mean that's, I could get into that, that could be a whole nother podcast. But, um, , yeah, so, so kind of that adversity brought me, brought me closer to God in, in that sense. But, you know, there's, there's ups and downs, there's roller coasters, and you know, in the beginning of our marriage we are figuring it out and.

We, we fought a lot. Like there was a lot of, a lot of fighting, you know, cuz you know, she's obviously hardheaded and I'm hardheaded and , you know, it's like two rams and that just like constantly butt heads. But, um, you know, uh, yeah, that's one thing that stands out. So much about you guys is you guys are fighters.

Like you're, that you have that grit. You guys are strong personalities. You have, um, strong wills, both of you, right? Yeah. And yet you guys, what I, what stands out to me is that you guys have made it your practice to. Not fight each other, but to fight alongside of each other. But at the same time, you do find yourselves in face-to-face challenges often because you are such fighters.

But you make that pivot. And that's something that I've been so impressed with watching you guys, is that you guys are learning how to make that pivot. And I think that's, there's so many couples out there that are fighters, you know, they don't have just like laid back personalities that just go with the flow, but they're fighters.

But that's, that's actually can be such a gift in. Your story and all that you guys had to fight through, it makes sense why you're fighters and that's how God made you. But you're, you, you're learning how to use that and channel it the right way. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's a really beautiful thing. I think so Zach, he's been the military, uh, for eight years now.

Uh, he just switched over to the Reserves in this past year, and so when doing that, we. Launched our own kind of businesses and wound up finding ourselves working together and went from him being gone, uh, two, 200 days outta the year to being home all the time. And it was a serious change, and adjustment to be made and it.

It made us recognize where we fell short in our relationship and where we needed to build. So we, uh, found your guys' podcast and listened to some episodes and realized that we needed some outside help to help us learn to live together cuz we had been long distance and had been living somewhat separate lives for the majority of our relationship that we had to learn how to move forward in this new phase.

Uh, Working together made us, you know, really focused on that because we realized that our businesses were relying on our relationship being successful. So we had to be good parents. We were also to be good business partners, and we got to the point where we recognized it was essential to prioritize us.

Otherwise, everything else around us would start to fall apart. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's something like, I think when, when you go into business, You start focusing on your business, like mm-hmm. , you tend to neglect everything else. You know, your, your marriage, your home life, your kids. Um, and then people like wonder, well, I got a successful business, but my home life sucks.

Why? Yeah. You know, like thinking like, if I have a successful business, my marriage will get better. Um, what I did realize when we, before we started with you guys, um, was it's the ac it, it's the exact. Right, like if, if you think about it, like the core of everything you do is your marriage and your walk with God.

Not, not even technically your kids, right? Like my wife and my walk with God comes before my kids, you know? Um, and I think a lot of parents do that too. They put their kids above their spouse. Um, that's right. And then, and then they wonder why, you know, their marriage and they're like, well, I'm a great father, I'm a great mother.

Right? But it's like, well, okay, but you need to be great husband and wife. That's where it started. So like, if you go back to like, the source of the issue, and I mean, I, I've, I've had multiple business coaches, you know, we. We went to you guys as, uh, you and, uh, David's, um, EO Mastermind in Miami. Yeah. Like that was a lot of fun.

You know, we did that together. Like, that was the first mastermind we did together, and that was enjoyable. But I started realizing like, okay, well we need a coach for our marriage. You know, we need someone to coach us. And I, I hate the whole like, Oh, I need therapy. Like therapy's like I'm broken and I need to be fixed.

And it's more like coaching's like, Hey, I know where I'm at here, I know where I want to get and I need someone to guide me there. Um, so that's where it was, you know, came, I came to you, Jason, I think even before you guys launched the program or something, like, Hey, would you guys be open to like, Coaching us and you're like, oh, it's actually perfect timing.

So anyway, but yeah, realizing that like, Hey, we needed someone to help guide us. Another couple, like we had talked to a few other people, um, and they just like, It wasn't in this, I, we didn't really relate, you know what I mean? It wasn't what we were looking for. Yeah. Um, and you know, not to boost y'all's ego, but exactly what you guys are doing is exactly what we needed.

Right. You know? Yeah. Like, you guys have four kids. You guys have been through, like you're 10 years ahead of us in the walk. And we're like, okay, well if they're 10 years ahead of us in the walk, well then we need someone to guide us through these next 10 years, um, or something, you know? Um, so like, just realizing that I think is, is super important.

And that's, that's exactly what it was when I stopped going to the, you know, work basically every day going to base. Um, yeah. And just being at home being like, okay, well we're gonna have to figure out how to like each other to start. Yes, yes. You know, like, maybe you don't have to love me. Just like me and I want to jump in.

I want to jump into some, some stuff that you guys have, have learned and, and things that you guys do really well. But what I wanna do is put a pause on that for one second. I wanted to jump back into the story. Andy, you had us at, you just had a baby. Zach goes off, um, to some three month long training.

Okay. You had. Three other kids after that. Take us through and let's finish the story and then we'll come to where you are now and some of the things that you've learned . So let's finish that story cuz I know there's plenty of women on here that are like, uh, how about your other kids? Like, what do they do?

We went, we've got four now. So we had that first baby. Uh, she, she helped grow us up for sure. Uh, she became a teacher to us. Really? Wow. Helped us become, you know, who we are today, I think. But, uh, we lived out in New Mexico for about another year after having her, and then he got orders to come here to where we are now, which is near Destin, Florida.

And the panhandle, uh, at that point when we moved, we had. We had moved from a townhouse into a fifth wheel RV full-time. And so we were in a rv. We drove cross country and I was pregnant with the second at that point, uh, another little girl. So we got to this new base. He got in, processed. I was about 35 weeks pregnant at that point, something like that.

And, uh, within a month, I was two weeks early with her, my water broke and we were on a campground, uh, at the Air Force base and we knew nobody had no support. And so we literally took my two-year-old daughter at the time to our neighbors in their RV and said, Hey. Would you be able to watch her for a night while I go have this baby?

No way. Wow. So they, they were, they were sweet and, uh, very accommodating. They took care of our two-year-old forest. I will say the RV community, is a tight-knit community. It's a tight knit Wow. Very tight-knit. Yeah. It's so cool. Sure. Yeah. Hey, I met you a couple weeks ago. Here's my kid, you know? Right.

could you be the best man at my wedding? ? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shout. Shout out to my mom. Minute I texted her, she drove 11 hours overnight to come help us. Well, she got on a flight and it got canceled. Oh, she happened? Oh yeah. Oh. And then she had a, a crazy, yeah, we haven't had a crazy, uh, experience, but we went and had, uh, baby number two, her name is Blakely.

And, uh, came home with her. And after that we, uh, he was processed here in the base. He was, you know, doing his training. , but also started getting into real estate at that point, so, mm-hmm. , you forgot to mention, eight days late later, Blake went into the hospital. That's right. With, with viral meningitis. Got meningitis in, oh my word.

We were there for two weeks. You know, I, yeah, I was, I lived there, the hospital with her for two weeks. Zach would go to work, he would come drive 45 minutes to Pensacola to visit me at the hospital. And your. . And your neighbor raised your first boy . Our neighbor. Yes. We had her RV neighbor, but we needed someone else to support and she was there.

Thank the Lord. Yeah. Um, yeah. But yeah, we, it, it was a very trying time. Uh, and Zack's like, I wanna get into real estate. I'm like, great . I knew nothing about real estate and my background was in exercise science and, uh, athletic training. And I was, you know, medical exercise based. I knew nothing. Houses besides the fact that I lived in while growing up.

So he wanted to start getting in, involved in investing. Um, we wound up flipping our first house that year and did it the old school way where we drove out after he got off work in the evenings and worked on our hands and knees to flip this house till 11 o'clock at night. Yes. With a newborn in a car seat and a two year old watching a movie on the computer.

Um, wow, that's a great flipping story. Estate career. So after that, uh, another. 15, 18 months went by and, uh, Zach was actually in a very severe rollover accident, uh, as part of his military training almost died. Um, I got a call from one of his friends up there. And he said every Zach's okay. But, uh, he was in a rollover accident.

He is going to the, uh, Fort Bragg hospital and, um, we'll let you know when we have more updates. So that was scary. Well, that was the second time. That was, yeah. That was scary. Uh, he wound up coming home about a week later. His face was. Beautiful. It was beautiful, all swollen, beautiful and cut up and stitches all over the place.

Not much different than it is now, you know, just a little more. Yeah. another Wow. And, uh, that third baby was, I think a Youo died Passion baby. And a long came baby boy, number three. Oh, wow. Uh, nine months later after that, so, well, I deployed Afghani. Oh, that's right. Yep. Yep. Deployed Afghanistan and, uh, I was over there for four months or something.

It was six months. And, um, COVID hit, COVID hit when he was deployed, so they weren't flying anyone home. So we were fighting to give hope and because I was pregnant, he actually got a voucher to come home earlier than he was supposed. Yeah. I wasn't gonna come home if she wasn't pregnant. Um, whoa. Yeah, they were, they were shut everything down.

Like it was like right when it started. Right. Everyone was like freaking out. Um, yeah. But yeah, so I was, I was thankful I got home to get in time for some time for that one to be born. Asher's birth. Yeah. Yep. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Then they came along baby number three, uh, three months later after. Don't know what happened, but baby four was, uh Wow.

Was announced. Yes. So those two are 13 months apart. Our last two. And uh, I told, and baby number four is Noah. She's the sweetest little girl you've ever seen. N o a, yes. N o a Drops the age cuz she's a girl. . Yeah. And, and, and shortly after that, I told Andy I want to get outta the. And she's like, so what are we gonna do?

Because, you know, like, yeah. Military, I get a consistent check and I'm like, I don't think, you know, God wants me staying and I think he wants me getting out and I feel it going this way. And, uh, I mean, , that first year that I got out was, so, first off, I, I turned down a $90,000 signing bonus to do that.

Yeah, right. So like that was a lot of money, you know, that would've. With a lot of stuff. Um, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that cuz then I commit the next five years to the military. Right? Yeah. So I was really weighing, weighing my time with, you know, monetary value, right? Mm-hmm. . So, yeah, we had gotten out, I, I had gotten out and uh, Noah was born about four or five months later, so we're four kids.

No job trying to get into real estate, trying to make money, you know what I mean? Like, it was crazy. I remember there was $8 in our bank account one time, and I was like, You know, Jesus, take the wheel. You know, , , like, I have no idea what, you know what I mean? We had a few fi, you know, irons in the fire, uh, but a really cool God moment.

Like I turned Andy, I go, babe, I, I don't know what we're gonna do. And um, you know, prayed about it. And then, uh, a deal close that we've been waiting for months to try to get this thing closed. And like 72 grand hit our account and that had floated our other flips. Paid our bills and like, it was just really cool.

Like I get goosebumps thinking about it cuz it's like, yeah, there's no other like explanation but God, you know? Um, wow. Uh, so that kind of kicked off the rest of everything. And that first year was scrappy. Andy was picking up. Oh man, any gig we could, you know, just to, just to get the, get the bills paid.

Um, oh, wow. But yeah, and to, and to make it easy for folks to understand, Andy Licensed real estate agent has her own firm, Zack Investor. Now both of them are investors, but Zack specializes in the investment piece. Yeah. And then so they, they own large scale multi-family. You know, do all sorts of stuff, but your business is, is awesome.

But looking back at that story that we just heard, I think for a lot of people just listening to this, they probably, maybe some of them even broke out in hives thinking , if I had to go through that. Yeah. Like from both of y'all's perspective. Andy, you start and then Zach wanna get from you. Um, you've already shared the, the value of just being straight committed, being like, okay, we are going to make this work.

What else did you do to, to get through those tough moments to a point now where you guys, you know, your little love birds, you know, in spite of the little fights here and there that Tori and I have to walk you through, but , but what, what, what are a few of the other things? Andy, you go first. So I think having to go through those challenges, uh, really forced me to make my parents' faith my own.

Mm-hmm. , uh, there was a period of time where, you know, I went to church and I claimed to be Christian, but my walk wasn't my own. I, I didn't really take. Accountability for my own relationship with Jesus. So when you're in dark circumstances and trying times where you really don't see, uh, a light at the end of the tunnel, it really forces you to go back to your roots and figure out, um, that's good, who made you, and, um, understand that you're not in it alone, even if you feel like it.

So I relied a lot, a lot more on my faith at that point in time. And I'm still working on growing that. But uh, a lot of times it would just be having quiet dialogues in my own head, trying to talk to Jesus and help me the next day. Um, You know, I, I'm very thankful that I have a good relationship with, with my mom and with D'S mom.

Um, I know my mom prayed when I was born that one day when I got married that, you know, the in-laws that I became a, a part of their family would, would love me and we'd have a good relationship. And that definitely happened. So being able to rely on, uh, the wisdom of both of those women, even if they weren't close, I was able to, Call them and get some encouragement in some form or fashion.

Um, I really just tried That's good to, to grid it through. So, you know, there was a period of time where we didn't have a lot of friends, we didn't have a lot of support, but I had what I needed and I didn't want for more. At that point it was, you know, I had what was. Right in front of me. I knew what my next step was and that was about it, but that's what I focused on.

And so I think both of us having gone through, you know, the life struggles that we've been through up to this point, even before we met each other, uh, instilled in us this, this grit attitude, right? That we weren't gonna give up. Um, and just heavy work ethic. You know, just choosing to, to stick with it and to see it through, regardless of where we felt it was going.

Uh, there's just that relentlessness to, to keep moving forward. Cuz you can't go backwards, right? So either wow. You stop moving or you go forward and, and that was kind of our attitude and that's where we are today. And that's one of the things that Tori and I have seen with you, Andy. Um, and Tori was just talking about this, uh, we were on a, a podcast, uh, not a podcast, but a zoom, uh, for couples in business.

And we talked about the value of going from emotional to transactional and how David did that in the Psalms. He's like, man, nothing's working for me, but God, I trust you. Right. Uh, Andy, it is a testimony to you. Tori's mentioned this before of how you as a. You feel more emotion than Zach does, but you've been able to flip that little switch and move from an emotion to a transaction.

Like essentially what you just did where you're like, you know, yeah, I mean it stunk, but yet I knew it's either you go through it or you quit. It's like, which one? It's like, now I'm gonna make this into a transaction. Hmm. And look at how the ability to do that turned. You know, you have a powerful relationship together.

Yeah. Learning how to do that as a female, when our mind is like a bowl of spaghetti and everything affects everything. Right. Uh, figuring out how to have a little bit more of a a container relationship in our mind, um, has helped with us. Gotta put the spaghetti in a container. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do that Is a spaghetti.

Yeah. . I like that. I. Learning to do that has helped with our business relationship. Knowing that what he says when there's a issue with a rental is not against me as a person or as a spouse. , yes, this is a business issue and so I have to have my business hat on and address it as such. And there's obviously more emotion from both of us because we were in a relationship together.

Um, and they might take some cooling off afterwards for us to come back and have a logical discussion about it. But , the fact that I don't get as heated or take it so personally anymore, has helped with us being more efficient in our business, um, and being better partners together. Knowing that what's happening here is not a reflection of what's happening in our, in our marriage relationship at this point in time.

That's so good. I love that. It's really good. It really is such a mindset. It's such a mindset thing. And I think, um, you know, we always say strength comes through strain, and I think that your relationship has been a lot of strain, but what we're seeing is a lot of strength that's come through it because you guys are, you're probably one, uh, some of the most coach.

People that we've ever met. Like, you just have it, and you guys will want to learn. You're, you're very vulnerable with, you know, with weaknesses because you genuinely want to grow and learn. And I know Andy, you were an athlete and Zach, you know, with your military background, I think that that. , A lot of that maybe comes from that, that you just, you have this growth mindset and you know, um, that strength does come through strain and you're willing to go through it.

So yeah. Zach h how have, so, so you tell me from your perspective, I mean, you've done a good job, you know, as a husband you were gone a lot. So we talked about the strength of Andy, and yet at the same time, I mean, you had to have made a lot of phone calls, um, and when you did come home, you had to. Done something right in order for and to still like you.

So talk to us, talk to us from, from a husband's perspective on what you did that that can help us and our own issues and relationship. Well, gee, Jason, that's a lot of pressure to put me under, but, uh, I'll do my dad. . I, I mean like, so before I recognized we needed to focus on our marriage. You know, it was tough.

Like I'd come home, she'd have the, you know, kind of like a, a schedule and kind of like, you know, a routine that I'd come in and be like, okay, well I'm home now, you know, like, disruptor. Yeah, , let's just go back to normal. And she's like, no, that's not how it's gonna work. So for me to come home. Well, it's funny cuz I saw my, my dad did the same thing.

He, he's, he's a yacht captain or was he just retired? Um, and he'd be gone for like months at a time. So like, my mom basically raised us kids for. You know, the majority of our upbringing, um mm-hmm. . And then when he came home, it was like, he kind of saw that I can look back and see that friction now. And I started to realize that in our marriage, like I would come home and expect things to just like pick up where they took off, but Andy's like lived this whole entire life without me.

You know what I mean? And I lived this whole entire life out of, say, hotel room for the last three months training or in the field or whatever. Right. So it's like adapting to like, okay, well, you know, Like, let me try to fit into what she's got going and, and go from there. Um, it's been easier obviously since I've been out and we got a routine now.

You know what I mean? Like, it's, it's just that, that becomes easier. Uh, but recognizing that, hey, look like, you know, I, I think the quicker I've found out or figured out that it's usually my. And even if I, even if I'm justified, it's still my fault, you know? And I'm responsible for the relationship period.

Um, even, even if I'm like, I know for a fact she's wrong, you know? Mm. Does no good in in me, you know, jabbing that. . Um, so like, it's, it's really the biggest thing I can say, especially for guys and guys with like, you know, egos or guys that are like protecting themselves essentially, um, is to realize, to humble themselves and realize that, hey, look, I'm the one that needs to change because she's following me.

And if, if I change and I soften my heart and I become more vulnerable, she's gonna feel that. And then she's gonna just naturally do it, even whether she, she thinks it or not. So like, it's kind of this like reverse psychology if I can change the way I react towards her. She'll rep reciprocate it towards me without even knowing it.

And it's not a manipulative thing, but I believe you know, the way God did create us as the man supposed to lead and not lead in the sense of like, I'm in charge, and you must listen, but lead in the sense of like, Hey, this is how I act. This is how I handle situations and I find my wife follows that. My kids follow that.

You know what I mean? So like, it's, it's me that hits over that first domino. So I, I guess the quicker, and, and I'm not saying like, I didn't figure this out over the last seven years or in the military, like this was recent. You know what I mean? Yeah. Um, and part of, you know, being coached with y'all, um, you know, is this the quicker I can say?

Okay. You know, Even, even if it is your fault, sweetheart, like, I'm gonna take responsibility . Oh, there's a good book out there. Expert ownership, or not Expert Owner, sorry. Extreme ownership. Extreme ownership by Jocko. Willing, yeah. Um, taking accountability even if it's not your fault, you know, as a leader.

You know, if things go really good, your team gets the praise. If things go really bad, yeah. You get to fall. You know, that's just what leaders do. You rarely get the praise. Um, and that's hard for me. Yeah. Because, you know, like I'm a guy that likes the words of affirmations, you know? Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. and Right.

And, you know, she's getting better, giving it to me. Um, but it's just funny how God puts two people together that like shouldn't work out or the world says shouldn't work. And he's like, I'm gonna use that to make it happen and work out and show my grace and love through that marriage. And I truly believe like the intent of what the Bible says the church is, is the marriage, is the two.

You know That's right. The husband and the wife like it, it's, it's that core, you know, like I'm going back to like everyone focused on their business or their social life or school or gymnastics or, uh, which by the way, we do a lot of cuz of our kid. But like, you know, um, it's the core. It's that marriage in your walk with God.

And if you really focus on that, everything just like falls in place. It's wild to like recognize that and think that. Yeah. And if you can, Like that way, like I can, it, it's super helpful. Um, for, for men. Wow. If every guy would just go back and listen to that last four minutes of what you just said, it is so true.

When Eve ate the fruit, she turned and handed it to Adam. When God shows up to deal with them, he doesn't address Eve. He addresses Adam because Adam was the one that had to take responsibility for the relationship period. Yeah. And I just think that that would help so many marriages. Listen, you guys were awesome.

So good. Yes, so inspiring. And before we go, you guys, that was amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to, to be with us. Um, Andy, do you have a favorite recipe in your home that you make regularly, that you guys just love? Poptarts. I have a favorite recipe she made. Okay. Okay. One of the first I made for him when we were dating and I make to this day, uh, birthday dinners and special occasions is my chicken Parmesan.

Uh, it's, it's my, Ooh. I make, and I've gotten pretty good at doing it quickly. It used to take me hours, to do all of it. Okay. Um, but I learned that when I was in school in a cooking class and I kind of refined my recipe over the years. Uh, I can really, the written version of it, but we would you be willing to.

Absolutely. Yeah. Awesome. Tell your restaurants if he orders chicken par, I'll like give him a look. He's like, I'm just comparing. I know you're just gonna be better, but I wanna see what this one tastes like. That's awesome. I do like chicken. We should tell, you know what, Andy, here's what you should do. Now I'm gonna say you should, you, you don't have to agree to do it, but actually make it for Zach and then have Zach kind of film some of it and let's make a reel of this, of that.

Yeah. Remember Amazing . Yeah, I would love that. But when you're making, and then after you make it, I'll make it. But when you're making the meal and the real don't. Meal. And the reel. The meal. And the reel. And the reel meal. The meal reel. Ooh, I like it. . Yeah, that's, that's my favorite dish. And her scrap cookies, like she makes nice scratch from scratch.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. From scraps. Scratch. Scrap, scratch know. Potato. Potato. But like where she makes chocolate chip cookies from like, you know. Plain ingredients instead of like a pre-packaged ones. Oh my God. The die for that. And then her sweet potato pie, which she will not share the recipe cuz that's a family thing.

Yes. That's okay. We'll, we'll stick with the Parmesan. It's the best. Its amazing. I think we should end with this song. Andy, make the Mihi. . . Make it for your husband. Make you're making for you your man. . . Alright. Hey guys, this was awesome. Yes, thanks so much. This is so fun. All right. Hey, thank you guys for joining us.

Listen, don't forget, rate, review, subscribe, and you're gonna hang out with us next week. At least you better. But hope you enjoyed Andy and Zach. Thank you guys for hanging with us. Thanks Zach. Guys, we appreciate.