Beauty in Battle Podcast

Protecting Your Marriage With Priorities & Boundaries

December 12, 2023 Episode 96
Protecting Your Marriage With Priorities & Boundaries
Beauty in Battle Podcast
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Beauty in Battle Podcast
Protecting Your Marriage With Priorities & Boundaries
Dec 12, 2023 Episode 96

Your marriage is the most valuable asset you have, and you need to protect it like you would a priceless treasure. In today's episode, we're going to dive into priorities and how to wrap boundaries around them, as well as three key boundaries that will keep your marriage healthy and thriving. 


Oh, and if you haven't grabbed a copy of our newly released book, Marriage A to Z, grab your copy HERE. 

Show Notes Transcript

Your marriage is the most valuable asset you have, and you need to protect it like you would a priceless treasure. In today's episode, we're going to dive into priorities and how to wrap boundaries around them, as well as three key boundaries that will keep your marriage healthy and thriving. 


Oh, and if you haven't grabbed a copy of our newly released book, Marriage A to Z, grab your copy HERE. 

So today we're talking about protecting your marriage with priorities and boundaries. This is a good one. Yes. Good one around the holidays.

Tori's like, yeah, that is, it's a good one. I'm here. I'm ready. She's, she's here. She's drinking her hot tea. Looking all hot. Drinking her hot tea. Jasmine hot tea, ladies, Harney and Sons, jasmine hot tea. That's my favorite right now. Is it really? For the last couple of years. What is that? Green tea? Yeah, it's green tea.

So see, I still don't understand. And you drink. Cal Manila. No. Manila. What? Chamomile. That's it. Sorry. I don't know the names of these teas. Were you thinking of the word and sounding it out? Yeah, I don't know what it was. Chamomile. Yeah. Chamomile, Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Black Tea, Green Tea. I drink a lot of different teas.

Rooibos. Like what the heck? I don't know which one to get for you. Ever. I do not know. Just let me get it. Yeah, the only thing I know to get for Tori is bio coffee in the morning and that and I will do that. And you have it out for me. I appreciate that. Yes. Well, we're talking about protecting your marriage, but we're going to dive into priorities and boundaries.

Um, before we do, I got a great song for you and Tori likes this. I picked it out this morning and she said, that's actually a really good song. Okay, this is everything, uh, uh, everything, everywhere, always, no, it's everything, everywhere, always by Elijah Woods. Yeah, this is a good one. I thought Elijah Woods was like an actor, like on Lord of the Rings.

I think they're two different people named the same name. Oh, okay. Got it. It's kind of a crazy thing. Yeah, because he doesn't look like Elijah Woods on Lord of the Rings. All right, here you go. If I stay away from my dear I feel

every day no matter the distance It won't ever change, it's your and mine. Everything, everywhere, always. Love till it hurts, till my heart aches. The light in my world, on my dark days. For always, you'll be mine. Everything, everywhere. That's a good song. It's such a good song. I love it. It's very relaxing.

Yeah. You know, when we were talking about songs, I almost wanted to do a worship song this week. Really? But I figured we need to stick with the love songs. Um, just because worship is so important in our lives with our relationships. I know for me this week, it was kind of a, I hit a little bit of a brick wall with, um, just some planning things and I just felt really stressed and felt overwhelmed and I felt myself.

Just kind of like getting really easily irritated at everybody. Yeah, and Just like even irritated at you for no reason at all. Honestly, there was really no good reason But I was just like you felt like a good target a few times and I had to really I had to really shield you But I just put on this there's just one praise and worship song that I love and it's Like when you first start listen to it, it sounds like Um, I don't know.

You wouldn't think that it'd be a great praise and worship song, but it is if you just like hang in there until you get to the chorus. It's called Awesome by Charles Jenkins. Are you going to play it for us? I know I don't have it. Oh, you don't have it. Okay. Because you just played the love song, but I just, I just feel like somebody needs to hear this.

Somebody needs to listen to this song. It's called awesome by Charles Jenkins and fellowship and it's a really good one. So good. And, um, I just like for me this week, I needed something to show me that God is bigger than everything. You know, like sometimes we just get so stressed and irritated and all the things.

And you just need something to break up that mindset, you know, I think for me, the mindset was like, I'm overwhelmed. I have so many things to do and not enough, you know, I need help. And it was just like, it just helped me so much. I was just like, no, like it, it tells you everything that God is. And it just made God bigger in my mind.

And I needed that really, really bad this week. I needed God to be bigger than all the little things that were becoming bigger than God inevitably. And it's so silly when we do that, but it's so easy to do. And so anyways, awesome by Charles Jenkins. If you're having one of those weeks where you feel a little overwhelmed and, Little under what is it called under the eight ball?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know whatever it is Listen to that song and it just it will help put things in perspective. It really is good. And Although I do have to say I did give you a good reason to get upset at me. So Tori and I have this great Tradition and you should try it. Okay, and so obviously She's shopping for all these presents and we have a massive family on both sides.

So Tori is like, December is a work month for her, like massive work month. Yeah. Like outside, I was actually counting the amount of people that I have to, um, buy for and think of gifts for, and you know, and it's. Um, not including our family, not like the six of us. Yeah, just outside of our family. It's like 20 people.

Yeah. And so I don't, it's just like kind of like to think about it's kind of like a full time job in December, but yeah, like just shopping for it all and trying to figure out if it's when it, when it's coming, if it's coming, you know, if you've ordered it online, it's just, it became a little bit of a job.

Yeah. This is where the idea of just buying gift cards is perfect or give money, especially when they're teenagers. But anyway, so. Tori gets all these gifts and typically at some point before Christmas, she has to wrap them and when she wraps them, we go into our bedroom and she's, you know, we've got a bed and then we've got a couch at the bottom of our bed and then in front of that is, you know, this kind of like this living area.

And she sits there and she wraps these presents and I watch Die Hard. It's one of Jason's favorite traditions. Oh, I love it. I'm terrible with that stuff. Maybe I should sit down and help you wrap. That would be hard, though. I'm not good with stuff like that. Yeah, and it's like a whole, there's a whole method behind the madness.

Tori would rather me not help with that. But I watch Die Hard, so I get back from, uh Uh, wherever I was yesterday and I come in and she says, I wrapped this many presents and I was like, what? You did that without me watching die hard. And she snapped back at me. I was like, trust me, I have a kazillion more to go.

Don't you worry about your little diehard. Die hard day. That's funny. So anyway. So that's just Tori and I letting you in under the hood right there. Yeah, I guess there was a little bit of a reason, but it was not, it really, I, I know what you were thinking. It's like, you're not really like have bad intentions or anything.

It would just really annoy. So then I go on Sonos and I play our God is awesome. Like, just listen to this. Remember, remember how awesome God is. Okay. So let's jump into the meat of what we're going to talk about today because, um, I originally read a little, um, By preparing rich and I, and I love getting blogs from them and I get blogs from, you know, several other marriage sources and they were talking about boundaries specifically in three areas.

We'll talk about those in a minute. And as I was thinking about this, I was talking about the value of protecting your marriage. Um, specifically, like if you think about an expensive piece of jewelry. Like in a glass case, like, I mean, if you've ever been to London and you've seen the crown jewels, you'll see that they're, I mean, depending on how valuable they are, here's these valuable pieces of jewelry in glass cases and they're bulletproof and all this kind of stuff, but imagine a really nice piece of jewelry in a glass case and then you've got three or four dudes around it and you know that they're doing everything that they can to try to think about ways to steal it, ways to get it, right?

Yeah. Now, imagine your relationship is that jewel, and the characters are external factors that want to take what's precious to you. So the characters are the external factors. And a lot of times you can't control the external factors, but you can control how you respond to those things. So, while it's not always evil in nature, Those external factors have the potential to disrupt or damage the equilibrium of your relationship, and we don't want that.

. Oftentimes the biggest enemy of your relationship It's the good things that you can do that are not the best things that you should do. It's the good things that you can do, not the best things that you should do. I'll give you an example. Tori and I were counseling a couple, this was years ago, and they came in and this guy was a former alcoholic and he was, I don't know, 10 or 12 years sober.

Great dude, and his wife fantastic, they're great people, but they were struggling in their relationship. I remember kind of just as we were diving in and figuring out what the issue was, uh, one of the things was she didn't feel prioritized and I said, well, can you give me a concrete example? And she said something like, you know, when he comes home from work, he's really tired, he'll eat with us.

And then right after that, he's on calls with other guys in Alcoholics Anonymous and, uh, and he's helping them, you know, get, get sober and stay sober or whatever. And she said, it happens a lot. And we just. Don't feel prioritized. And then I remember him saying, you know, hey, I was an alcoholic. I got set free from this.

Who am I to not help another man out of this? I mean, it was the greatest gift of my life to get sober like that. And I remember saying to him, I said, okay, picture the scenario. Your wife calls you, she's broken down on the side of the road, a flat tire. Nobody's there to help her. She's scared. And you're like, stay put.

I'm going to be there. I'm going to change that tire for you. Right. And as you're driving there, you see her in the distance about a half mile away. Okay. But then you look over to the right and then there's a dude who's also in the, you know, on the side of the road and he's got a flat tire and you choose to stop and help him and it keeps you, you know, then halfway through it starts to rain, you know, and now here your wife is with your kids in that car up there waiting for you, but you're helping this other dude Can easily find other people to help him.

I said, what do you think your wife should feel at that moment? He's like, oh man, she should feel pretty bad about that. And I said, well, that's what you do with your time That's what you're doing when you're coming home and you're helping other guys When you need to be there for your wife, you need to be there for your kids and he got it You know to his credit and he made some some some adjustments.

So the question is how do we protect our marriage? Well, the two things that we're going to talk about today are priorities and boundaries So you need to discover your priorities, then wrap boundaries around them. So good. So what are your priorities? Well, let me just tell you mine, which are, yours are probably the exact same, which they should be, but it starts out with your spouse.

So for me, it's Tori and it moves into Trey, Allie, Jake, and Lundy. Right. And then down the line, my immediate family and then my business relationships. Those are priorities. And what my responsibility to do is to now wrap boundaries around those. And this is where the prepare enrich article came in and they talked about three primary boundaries that are very healthy for couples, time, privacy, energy.

So these three areas, when it comes to your time, when it comes to your privacy as a couple. And when it comes to your energy, where you're spending your energy, you've got to wrap boundaries around those. So my thought was, Tor, that you and I would talk about these three things. How about that? I like it.

Okay, so let's talk about time. Obviously, we know your time is limited. You know, time is your most valuable asset. Why? Because you can't ever get it back. Yeah. So you can spend money, but you can get that money back. I mean, you can make more money. Right. You can get money back. You cannot get your time back.

Um, and time and affection are linked the more of one, the more of the other. So whoever or whatever has your affection as your time, we'll get your time. Okay. But then the reverse is true. Whoever or whatever gets your time has your affection. So if you find yourself spending more time at work and at the beginning, you don't really want to be there.

You want to be home and you're spending more and more time at work rather than home. What's going to happen is in time, your affection is going to start. To migrate away from home to work. Yeah. And now as your affection stays at work, because that's where you feel like you're fulfilled and, you know, you go home and you feel like you get your butt kicked because your kids aren't respectful and all that kind of stuff, then your affection starts to grow and then you want to spend more time there.

You have to jump out of that cycle. You have to reprioritize and then make sure that you're spending time. With your top priority. Now I heard this exercise. You're going to love this. Okay. So Jim Collins who wrote this fantastic business book, good to great. Um, he did this exercise and he uses this with leaders all over.

Okay. So do this exercise real quick while you're here on the podcast. Okay. Imagine you wake up tomorrow morning. With 20 million dollars in your bank account. Not bad, right? Not a bad morning. Okay, at the same time, you also learned that you've contracted a terminal illness and you've only got 10 years to live.

Bad morning. So if this occurred to you What would you stop doing like you need to visualize the scenario in detail? Then create a stop doing list like write out a list of information that you collected thinking about your last suggestion You know, like here's your you know, what would I do if I only had 10 years to live and I had 20 million dollars Oh now what would I stop doing?

Yeah, you need to name those things. They need to be concrete David and I talk about automate, eliminate, delegate with expert ownership. Like all entrepreneurs should think about that, but not just entrepreneurs, but every person, what can I automate in my life? What can I eliminate? And what can I delegate?

I just thought about today, I need to automate the paying of my property taxes. On my personal house, because every year I get this monster bill and it just drives me crazy. But I should just automate it to where every month it's just pulling some out. And the county just came up with a website that can do that.

And then I don't really have to think about it. It doesn't have to get my heart anymore. But think about what you can automate, eliminate, or delegate. This is really important. And Colin says that the real task Is always to be clear about what you need to stop doing. So I made a stop doing list at the beginning of 23.

Um, I didn't write it down, but it was more, you know, just kind of some subconscious list that I had, that I had made in my mind. And let me tell you a couple of them. I stopped doing social media checkups. I didn't realize at the end, but at the end of 22, as I started thinking about what do I, what do I want to fix for 23?

Yeah. And one of the things I did and Tori, you've seen this, you've seen me do this. I didn't realize that. Every so often during the day, if I didn't have anything going on, or if I was in a spot where, you know, you're got that 10 minute little break, if you're sitting in a line at the grocery store or whatever, I would pull out my phone and I would do a social media checkup and I would look, and even though I was only spending, you know, I don't know, 15, 20 minutes a day.

I did start to feel like I started paying attention to how I felt afterwards and I never felt good. So in 23, I stopped my social media checkups and now I'll go a whole week and not ever look at it. Yeah. So if you guys have ever reached out to me and Tori on social media or me or Tori. Or a Benham Brothers, just know I probably ain't going to reach out back to you because I'm not reading.

I don't read comments. I don't read anything. So, but what I realize is, man, I feel way better. I feel more at peace. I feel like I got more energy, so I stopped social media checkups. I also stopped getting notifications on my phone. Now, not all notifications, because I think you can do something with like favorites or something like that.

But I used to see my text come through when I was on lock screen. I turned that off. My messages for my emails, I turn that off and I'm like, I will summon my phone. My phone will not summon me. Yeah, that's good. And that it's helped me, right? So I turned the notifications off. Um, useless check in meetings.

I used to say yes to those. Say, Hey, can we meet? You know, let's just check in. I'm like, no, we're not going to do that, but I'll meet around some specific topic if we have to, but not some useless check in meeting, um, feeling the urge to say yes to every new request. I shut that off. I said no to a lot of stuff, but anyway, you get the point, create a stop doing list.

Yeah. And this kind of came at the heels of, you know, kind of a rough little anxiety thing that you had gone through and it was like, it was like, there had to be changes made. Yeah, you know for you to thrive and to feel good and to get you to get healthy again Yeah, and you don't want to get to that point, right?

You want to you want to be able to jump ahead of those things That is that's very true. So time so you want to you want to protect your relationship protect your time? Okay, it's valuable number to protect your privacy. Now. What do I mean by that? Well security is our number one number one core human need Like, if you don't feel safe, you can't be comfortable, right?

If you can't be comfortable, you can't be yourself, if you can't be yourself, you're not being true to who you are and you'll never feel approved. It's just a whole laundry list of junk that happens. So you've got to feel safe. You got to feel safe to be yourself with your spouse, but, but also you got to be safe.

You got to feel safe to know that your spouse won't expose you to anyone. And this is just a very. Quick and simple one for us, but when you you need to have an agreed upon boundary for what's okay to share with others About your spouse in your relationship and what is not? Yeah, I mean you guys should talk about that Right and your spouse should be okay with the people that you do talk to so I was talking with Tori today She was kind enough.

She made me this amazing breakfast I was jotting it down a few notes for this and we were talking about Some rules of thumb when it comes to protecting your privacy as a couple. Now, let me just pause for a second. Um, I do have to send a shout out. I, I did this last week, a shout out and I kind of made fun of Tanner Hoyt.

I'm gonna make fun of him again. He's got this crazy, like frustration at public displays of affection, you know, like if you're, if you're PDA in it, you know, Tanner Hoyt's going to get upset at you. I'm not talking about that. I'm, you know, obviously your, your displays of affection, if they're only public, then you got a problem, right?

So let's just keep them private. But Tanner, that's a shout out to you. So I'm not talking about PDA at this point, but I am talking about. Overly exposing your spouse if there is something that you need to talk to or talk about with someone else So here are some rules of thumb Number one don't vent about your spouse to your family members.

Don't vent just don't do it. Yeah, right If you need to talk to someone choose someone who can be objective. Yes. Sometimes that will be a family member Um, but I can say, let's try to not let that be a family member because you gotta remember your family is like so subjective. Right, right. But, you know, obviously, sometimes you can go to a family member, uh, but you have to choose someone who's wise, won't take sides, and they're spirit filled, you know?

Yeah, just getting that objective point of view. It's hard to get an objective point of view from your sister or your mother, right? Yeah. Because they're on your side. Uh huh. That you want. They, they're going to be defensive for you. Now, of course, we're not talking about if there's something that needs to be discussed with a family member, if there's somebody that you're, if you're being hurt or there's abuse or anything like that, of course, you need to bring your family into it.

But as a rule of thumb, if you don't want to be nitpicking your husband to your mother, she's not going to be able to handle that. To to kindly and honestly, you don't want a nitpick. You don't want to vent. You definitely do not ever want to expose any weakness or issue that you're having in your relationship to your family.

Okay, or to their family or to anybody like that. However, there's nothing wrong than both that both of you go to your family together. Yeah, it's like, Hey, mom. Hey, dad. You know, hey, brother. Hey, sister. We're talking through this. What do you think about that? You know, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

I'm talking about. Yeah, I'm talking about your husband is struggling with this and you go to your mom and dad with it. And they don't know it or maybe they do know it and they don't like it. It's like that has to stop. They most likely don't have the grace to handle Yeah, that's exactly right. So pick someone who's wise, won't take sides in a spirit field.

Now, if a problem persists, do everything in your power to talk to someone together. You know, sometimes it's good to talk alone, right? But you want to talk to somebody together where you guys are together. And if you are going to talk to somebody alone, then your spouse needs to know who that is and approve of those.

Who you can talk to about your marriage. So that's if the problem persists. Now there's nothing wrong with, you know, a girl group, you know, and somebody is like, yeah, Hey, pray for my husband, you know, him and I haven't been doing too good or whatever. It's like, okay, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that, but you want to go and do anything that would expose.

Something that could be, you know, detrimental to your relationship if they found out, then it's really good for you to be able to tell your husband or your wife, whichever one, like, Hey, we need to be talking with somebody about this. You want to talk together, you want to talk separate, whatever, and then just bring them into it.

And, and that'll really protect your relationship. Right. That's good. The key is just don't do something, um, secretive or sneaky that you would hate to be found out. Right. Right. You don't want to do that. Okay. So that's privacy. So you want to protect your time. You want to protect your privacy. And lastly, you want to protect your energy.

So similar to time, you only got so much of it. But unlike time with energy, it's easier to expend more than we have. Yeah. It was just terrible. And then it leaves us feeling burnt out. So then we don't have the physical, mental, or emotional energy to do things with our spouse, to be there for our family, because we spent it, we spent it elsewhere.

Yeah. So you can spend more energy than what you have, but you never get it back. Yeah. So it's like time, but it's not quite like time, right? So the key is you got to set boundaries to help limit your energy spent on those external things. And that's going to ensure that you have enough left in the tank to give to your spouse and family.

So let's look at this real quick tour and then we're going to be done. If we look at several areas, physical, mental, emotional, so physical energy, what do you need to say no to that's, that's, Causing you to fall asleep too early at night. Yeah. You know, like what's making you too tired. Yeah. Just pay attention to those things.

Yeah. For me, um, I was noticing that I was just getting really tired around three o'clock and went to a nutritionalist, kind of broke everything down, got blood work done, talked about my workouts at CrossFit and she's like, you know, what kind of cardio are you doing during the day at CrossFit? And as I'm going through it with her, she's like, that's too much.

And then at your age, um, you know, I just had hit 40 when I had gone to her and she's like, once you hit 40, you gotta, you gotta cut down on the cardio. And she started kind of like telling me what was happening, you know, inside of my body. She was like, you're going to, you're expending all your energy at CrossFit.

And then that's when I made a change. I'm like, okay, I'm going to cut back on cardio because that's, that's just zapping me. And so I made the changes to doing more, you know, versus resistant work than cardio. Cutting back on the cardio bit and feeling a lot better like yeah huge like that was a there was a huge shift Yeah, it's just paying attention.

Like what if you're exhausted? What what is exhausting you? What kind of changes can you make? It's funny you say that because I realized that I was crushing the sauna Yeah, I was named I would go work out and then I would sit in the sauna, right? and of course, I was replenishing myself with electrolytes and food and all that but I was zapped around one o'clock because you know that sauna, it's good for you.

And yeah, it'll cleanse you and it does all that stuff. But if you do it too long, too much. It zaps you. So figure out what is it that you need to fix on the physical side. Maybe you need to say no to that 5 a. m. solo run so you can do a partner workout with your spouse. Or don't play that four hour round of golf in the middle of the day because you got young kids who need your energy when you go home.

Like whatever it is physically, make that decision and wrap a boundary. Okay, um, so that's physical. How about mental? Maybe take less meetings so your brain isn't on 100 percent of the time. While you're gone from the house, that's important because you don't need all those meetings. You don't, um, or if you're just around people all day, eat lunch in your car away from everyone else so that you have peace and quiet.

Yeah, that will rejuvenate you. So when you go home, you'll have some mental space. Yeah to listen to your daughter. Ask you a thousand questions Not speaking from experience here or you're on your ride home play soft music Yeah, so that when you go home, you feel energized also paying attention to your thoughts Yeah, you know if you're thinking a lot of negative thoughts that is taking a lot more energy than you realize.

Yeah And so you've got to take those if there's this cycle where you're repeating this negative thought over and over again. Yeah, there's something you can do about it. Like you you can't you have to do something to stop that thought that is true To um replace it with a more positive and life giving thought.

Otherwise, you will be zapped from your negative thinking I speak from experience That's the best point actually of all like just pay attention to what you're thinking think about what you're thinking about. Yeah And then just know that if you let yourself dwell on, on negative thinking, you are, you are literally going to become a shell of the person that God makes you to be.

So that's physical, it's mental, but it's also emotional. And this one is so important. You got to limit the amount of emotional support that you give to others. Especially a friend who's chronically upset. They have some chronic problem or whatever. Like you, you don't want to be the person who always has another person where they're dumping their emotions on you.

Mm hmm. And especially if you're the type of person like Tori who carries emotions. Mm hmm. There are people that carry emotions. It's just it's the nature of who you are that you might be more of an empathetic person if that's the case. You have to go somewhere in your heart and mind when someone continually dumps on you.

And then you have to draw a hard line and say, look, before you come to me, you got to go to God. Like I am not God to you because those emotions, if you let somebody just dump on you all the time, then it's going to really hinder your relationship with your spouse. You got to be very careful of that. Yeah, it's good.

Really good. So there we go. So if you want to protect your relationship, you're going to do it. By creating prior, you're going to list out your priorities. You're going to create boundaries specifically around your time, around your privacy and around your energy. And when you do that, I think good things are going to happen for your relationship.

What do you think Tor? I think so. That was really good. Thank you for that. Um, okay. I'm going to share a recipe with you guys. Um, and I have been making, um, turkey chili for the last couple of months. It's really good too. That was another thing that kind of had shown up on my, uh, blood test results was I was low in some Chili.

Chili. You're like, wow. A deficiency of chili. You do. Um, I was deficient in some vitamins and minerals and, um, as I was like researching Turkey like checked a lot of the boxes. It was kind of funny. It is weird. I told Jason, I'm like, I'm sorry, you more tuna and some more turkey. Um, so anyways, I started making chili with with turkey and grass fed beef and I've tried it with all turkey.

Um, that's not my favorite. My favorite is When I take like two pounds of turkey to one pound of grass fed beef. And so anyways, I'll share with you guys the recipe. It's a lot of, um, green peppers, which is really rich in vitamins as well. And so you feel like you're getting like a good balance of protein and vegetables, it's a ton of tomatoes.

As well. Um, so anyways, I'll share it with you guys. I, I like it so much. It's really good full beef turkey or chili. Like I think I don't, I don't know if you love it as much as I do, but no, it's really good. I mean, it was so fantastic, except that she forgot to put salt in. Oh, the last time I forgot to put salt.

I was like, Hey, this is great. It's kind of bland, but it's good. Yeah. Just quick fix added some salt and it was money. Yeah, it was money. Yeah. So I'll, I'll share that with you guys, um, on Jason Torrey, Instagram, and then I have another really good one for next week, but you guys can't give it yet. Okay. Well, I can tell you this Torrey made four and a half dozen, um, uh, Ranger cookies.

Which are amazing. She put them in the freezer and I made them because I really wanted the kids, you know, trays at high point an hour away. He's coming home on the weekends, which is like super fun for us. And then Allie's coming home next weekend for Christmas. I'm like, I'm going to make a ton of frozen, you know, cookies.

Everyone loves them. And then we could just be popping them in the, in the oven whenever we want at will. Easy. Guess what, guys? One week. They're gone. Trey came home yesterday, and I'm like, I've got Ranger cookies in the freezer, and Jason goes, we do? I'm like, yeah, what are you talking about? You've been eating them all week.

He's like, yeah, exactly. No, it's not that I've been eating them, it's that I ate them. That's a big difference. He's like, me and Lundy, I think, ate those. Well, I do have to admit, Lundy loves them as much as I do, but I really have a problem. So she made that and then she's got the uh, incredible cinnamon sourdough.

Did you do that recipe? Oh, I haven't done that one yet either. That yeah, we got a couple good ones. Oh my gosh, it is so addictive, especially because she gets this, um, what is the Irish butter or whatever? Yeah, well, it's this European Danish butter or something. Yeah. It's my favorite. Yeah, we're out of it right now.

It was buy one get one free and now I'm like, I have to go back and pay full price. Hey, do you know what, do you know what you are when you walk into a bathroom, a Russian and you walk out an American? What are you when you're in the bathroom? Tell me. European. Oh. Huh? You are so funny. Does that work? Okay.

Okay. Well, speaking of European butter. European, you know what? I gotta take a leak. So, we're gonna get off this podcast. Okay. We'll see you guys next week. Alright guys and we love you, okay? Hey, by the way, Tori and I Have a new book. We just released. Yes. Yes. Um, I'll throw it. I'll throw a link on our social medias, but we are releasing marriage.

A to Z 30 principles to transform your relationship. We wrote it as a 30 day devotional. And so where you read it. Once a day, and then there's a little honeydew exercise for you to do with your spouse, and it's all easy stuff. It is, and you can get through it, like, what do you think? Under two minutes, like, a day?

Yeah, it's probably two or three minutes a day. Yeah, it just helps get your mind Um, on your spouse. It's, it's really good. And if you took our five day marriage challenge, I am, have actually been emailing one a day, though, uh, one principal per week to you. But now we've got it in book format and it's really, it's kind of a cute book, right?

It is so cute. It's a great little stocking stuffer. It's a perfect stocking stuffer, honestly. It's on Amazon. I didn't even know that you were going to throw that out there. Well, I, I wasn't. It is ador, it's an adorable little book and I think, I think you guys will really like it. Jason, you worked really hard on it.

Marriage A to Z. 30 Principles for Relational Transformation. I think I got that right. I hope I got that right. I'm messing up my own Somewhere in that. Subtitle. Something about 30 and niner. Alright, hey guys. Fun hang. Talk to you soon. See ya.