How A French Fry Saved My Life

Welcome to the Entrepreneur Heroes Podcast, where we have a bright and shining guest, Mr. Harj Gahley who is a former gambling addict who turned his life around by understanding that we all have choices in life. He started a business, initially failing, but later created six successful businesses, including a charity helping people with gambling addiction, which are now generating six and seven-figure contracts. This was done during the pandemic and has gone into seven-figure businesses within a year. Harj's journey is a testament to the power of mindset and the systems and processes to achieve success.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Reaching out to mentors, coaches and experts can accelerate your progress and success.

2. Investing time and money into your business and yourself can pay off greatly. Hiring a mentor helped Harj collapse his timeframe to success.

3. Realizing your true worth and value as a person beyond just money can provide deep motivation and purpose to fuel your success. For Harj, it was being a good father to his children.

BEST MOMENTS:

"Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness." 

"Don't be a person of success, be a person of worth." 

"You can improve as you go but taking action is more important than waiting for perfection"

GUEST CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harjgahley/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/harjindergahley/

CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/b16ree
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ree.hurakan.5/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/b16ree
Clubhouse: @b16ree
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@b16ree

Transcript

Ree  0:03  
Hi everyone and welcome to the entrepreneur heroes Podcast. Today, we have got one of the brightest pugs I've ever seen. So those of you watching on YouTube, you're gonna see this guy's always shining. We are speaking to Mr. Hodge golly on how a french fry saved his life. I'm thinking of French fries. Kind of getting hungry. It's lunchtime. But you know what, Hodge Thank you very much for being here. And I can't wait to dive right into this man. How you doing?

Harj  0:34  
Really? It's a pleasure to be here, man. Love it. I love everything you're doing. I love superheroes podcast. Got some great guests on it so far. So I'm a pleasure. Pleasure to be here with you. hopefully share some my journey and I'm good man. I'm more disturbing especially because it's my it's my lucky turban this one where I'd go out there. When everyone sees it puts a smile on their face. So I'm doing good man. I'm doing good by itself.

Ree  0:57  
Oh, good. Well, like, I'm good. I mean, that french fries making me hungry.

Unknown Speaker  1:02  
They may man should have said that.

Ree  1:05  
Like a pleasure to have you, man. And that yellow goes with the yellow light bulb. So you know, there's some connection gain.

Unknown Speaker  1:13  
thinking, Man, this it's all it's all an ethos or thinking out there.

Ree  1:17  
So let's have a quick intro, I could introduce you, but I'm feeling a bit lazy today. So you can introduce yourself.

Unknown Speaker  1:27  
Hi, everyone. I'm Mark scholar here. I'm the founder of success are masked, once a gambling addict where that turned my life around, because I realized that in life, we all have choices. So start making the right ones. And once I understood that, I was able to start a business, which at first was failing. But now I've gone on to create successful businesses, I've now got six businesses, including a charity, helping people with gambling addiction, that are now generating six and seven figure contracts. And I did this all during the pandemic. And I've gone into seven figure businesses within a year. And if I can do it, anyone can do it. It's just a matter of how and the systems and process in order to do it. So hopefully, when I've got this time with you today, I can share some more nuggets with you guys.

Ree  2:08  
So fries nuggets.

Unknown Speaker  2:14  
Man, that's it. It's all about food day,

Ree  2:17  
Friday, but not brilliant man, like just just a package what you said from gambling addicts, doing all this in a pandemic to six, seven figure businesses, six businesses generating all this income in the last couple of years, you've turned your life around. Wow, I don't even know where we should start. So let's just start with why did you decide to go down this route of like, what were you doing before then we work in a job? Are you working for someone else? Have you always been in business?

Unknown Speaker  2:49  
Well, if you've started, let's take a back a little bit towards the start really. So being a Sikh in being Indian. If you're watching this, while you might, you might resonate with this. So I was always told by one of my parents, my parents never really been strict. is more the peer pressure around my cousin's family where you got to go to school, you got to get a good education, go to university. And if you're not doing law, medicine, can't see pharmacy business economics are one of those degrees, your failure. So I'm on hold to myself. I actually went into university I did law. And when I did law, so that was in I graduated in 2007. And I decided that I was it. Where did you go, by the way? Because in Birmingham? See, actually my wife went Hartfordshire I think she graduated a few years after me. I think it's about 2008 or 2009. Okay, so, so yeah, so when I left university, and I realized that law wasn't for me, just because I knew who I was. And I basically had a fascination around sort of business and marketing because true story. When I was in my second year, I've got my student loan, and I spent all of it within the first few days of getting it What did you buy? Man? Listen, look, when you're in university, you're going to be popping champagne, you're going to be going to the club. Philosophy and I was going out there buying Ed Hardy at heart Do you remember Ed Hardy back in the days that was a rave man? So I was just going out buying just just nonsense man just absolute BS and I remember get to like few days out you know, I've literally got no money to basically carry for the rest of the term. And I thought to myself if I go back to my parents and ask him for money, one week that we weren't really rich now they'll quite poor you know, they had just just normal jobs and if I went back to my nautical miles kicked so I became a little bit resourceful. So I read this article about this 16 year old who was doing all these like ads and had a black, a mixup. 16 And all it was just now is called affiliate marketing. You know, is back in school click ad banners. So I learned that just by basically just just copying what he did, and I was able to make, you know, 150 quid 200 quid a week by reaching out to a business in Birmingham. I was quite fortunate my aunt in Birmingham had a really successful property company. So I just told her what it was. And then, you know, I was making 150 quid 20 quid a week, which is not bad for someone.

Unknown Speaker  5:25  
That's, that's big money and KFC money. I told you, it's gonna stick on food today, man.

Unknown Speaker  5:32  
So yeah, so literally, that was it. And then I just had a fascination of just, you know, just setting up businesses and tasting money and just doing that side of life. And when I left university, I taught my degree and said, Listen, this is not for me to tell my parents by it. They weren't too happy, because they were like, you know, I think for them, businesses. For them, you know, they've just, they've come all the way from my dad from Kenya, mom's from India, they come to this country that built a life right through just hard work. And for them, they've never really understood business. And it was hard trying to explain it to them. But I thought well run, explain why just want to show him. So that's it, really. And I started a business in 2007, which was because I heard about, you know, Facebook coming in here. So I literally created Facebook, just a bit before to the curve. And then within two years, I grew that from zero to 165,000 subscribers. And I was basically get marketing, I was trying to get advertisement to basically pay for the costs and what can have as a meeting, to advertise end up as a conversation about acquiring the business. So there

Ree  6:43  
isn't just after uni, right? Yeah, it's a

Unknown Speaker  6:45  
23. So I was 23 when these conversations are happening, and and think back 23 year olds, you know, talking about someone buying a company, I was like, you know, I've my machine, my

Ree  7:00  
corporate law, and you learn something quick. Mmm.

Unknown Speaker  7:04  
Honestly, man, this is my, this is me back in the days, I thought if I was earning 30 grand a year, had a house got married was driving a nice car. That was life, man, I made it. So for me think about had that mindset, then and then someone go right by your company and for multiple six figures. I was like, Yeah, this is I'm rich. I say my normal work for the rest of my life. That's what might get from my head. So I did that I just sold my company in 2009. And didn't have to look back to what I saw after that for for a few months, shall we say? Months, few months?

Ree  7:42  
Or a few months? Was is

Unknown Speaker  7:45  
that's when things took a bit of a downward spiral. That's when things changed dramatically in my life.

Ree  7:50  
So let's so let's rewind them. So obviously, your parents were a bit different before you doing a business a bit of a gamble, right? Because they've come in hard work and hard work and got them to where you are. You've now studied law, and you realize it's not for you. And you want to start a business. Of course that does sound like a bit of a gamble right to anyone. But now you've done this and you sold the business for multiple six figures. And that was just a mean you had right you wanted some help and ended up telling you to sell and by this time I'm guessing in law they didn't teach you how to sell to do sales or close deals right?

Unknown Speaker  8:27  
Not all we can learn parts of it but not I didn't. I didn't really pay much attention. If I'm honest with you. I just know

Ree  8:38  
you're too busy and you're Ed Hardy gone.

Unknown Speaker  8:40  
I was too busy. Not getting back in but true had no had no expertise or anything about that side of business.

Ree  8:48  
There were just good luck people like this nugget as well. Sometimes just being out there. Being in that situation being in that see you can make stuff happen and you don't need a certificate to give you that give yourself permission to do it. Right. You don't need certificates to allow you to do things and a lot of us live by that especially those in corporate world. You think you need a qualification qualify yourself. Totally agree.

Unknown Speaker  9:13  
Yeah. Love that.

Ree  9:14  
So okay, so now you've sold a company for six figures. You're living the bachelor life what happened in the bachelor life? Because many deals

Unknown Speaker  9:26  
know what I've closed one deal and that you're basically cost me everything, which was we went out on a night out in Birmingham. And if anyone knows Birmingham, there's a place called Broad Street which is like a cesspit of just hell. So we went out one night, drinking, having a good time. And then one of my friends was like, why don't we go to casino and the truth of the story was we went to casinos because I was told they give you free food and free alcohol. That's when I went I remember walking down the stairs and experiencing that, that, that three lights are walking down, I could see these bright lights I can hear laughter and cheering I can hear the slot machine I can literally hear there's so much going on. And it was overwhelming. But it felt, I just felt a different sense that I've never felt before. And literally just sat there watching my friend just placing some bets and then one of my friends that want to come over here and just play with us. They're playing blackjack. And I played and I got to it. I started with 10 quid, 20 quid and just paying 10 quid 20 quid, that 1020 quid turned to like, I think it was like 6080 pounds within 45 minutes now. My brain went well, as a business person. The return on this is quite good as they're so putting 1020 quid in getting 68 quid back. What if I just ramped up a little bit or did more of this, I can turn this into a bit of like, the money making opportunity for myself and turn it into a bit of a business. That's what my brain was telling me at the time. And so I kept doing that for a few months, I was on a lucky streak for about good two, three months. And then that lucky streak just went the other way. He was like, Alright, cool. Now I'm chasing the money that I lost. And I'm chasing that money that that last fan, literally just chasing chasing, chasing chasing to the point where now, all the money I made from sellers company had gone. No way. That was in the space of about six months.

Ree  11:32  
So that business you've built, gone in the space of six months. Because that euphoric feeling, you felt maybe going up the bright lights and the slot machines, like, what they say is when someone that started drugs, they get their first hit. And then they keep trying to get that same hit again, but it's never the same. Exactly. So and that was it. I'm just gonna do straight up. How much did you lose?

Unknown Speaker  12:03  
About 150 grand in that six month period, and that six month period. Okay. That, yeah,

Ree  12:10  
it was more than what happened in the six months, you've you're trying to try to double down and make back the money you lost. Typical, you know, whether you do trading, gambling, whatever. People tried to make back their losses. Right. And yeah, 650k down. You're, you're still a bachelor at this point. He's still living that life.

Unknown Speaker  12:28  
Yeah. So I remember, there's that. I mean, one going back into my bedroom. I was like, it's about five o'clock in the morning, because it's come back from a casino. And I thought to myself, I've literally just got no money. So what do I do? I couldn't pay for the rent. I couldn't pay for food. I've literally was sitting there and I felt sick. I mean, actually not. I was physically sick. And I bought some stuff. All I can do now is pack up, pack up my ship, and go home. That's what I did. So I packed my shop, went back home. I've dumped the train from Virgin back to slough. I pretty much had in the toilets. I was just trying to dodge the conductor, making sure because I couldn't pay him right. And I couldn't afford to get fined. Went back home. When I told him my legs. I told my parents that I messed up. I lost all my money. I tried. But I didn't what I asked it on. I just told him that I'd made a few bad investments. And really that was, you know, I think especially if you're Indian, no matter what's happened in your life, your parents, especially your mom would just go, it doesn't matter. Just come back and we'll fix it. And we'll sort it all out. And that's what happened. I went back home and then I decided, well, what do I need to do now? So I thought, well, I'm good at marketing.

Ree  13:43  
So just go back there. So you went back home? Yeah. Was it really as simple as your mom saying? That's it? Come back start again. How's your dad?

Unknown Speaker  13:52  
Instruments? If Honestly, my parents have always been a bit laid back my parents, my dad, he's not really I can let you into a bit my personal life and my dad, the grown up has always been an alcoholic. So really, I've never asked him for anything. So I've never wanted anything from him if that makes sense. So it for me it was more my mum. So I sort of went back to her and said, Look, I've messed up and it was it was pretty much I felt. I let my mom down. I felt like myself down. And all honestly I just said I've messed up. And I know she sort of knew that can get back on my feet. And she was going to help me You know, I don't mind will. And she's always been a little bit philosophical, but she's always had a good heart. And she's been one of those months that I've got three brothers. I've got two older and one younger she just wanted to say Look, man, what what happens in life, you know, just as long as you're on the straight and narrow and you're doing everything okay? Just promise me that you're okay. But for me at that time I felt okay because I was with my mom. I was back in a safe place. mommy's boy, you 100% 100% Man, no, mommy's boy, how your

Ree  15:03  
brothers and how did they take this? They didn't know.

Unknown Speaker  15:06  
So no one knew about this.

Ree  15:12  
A lot of a sudden in their life didn't they think like hard what you doing back?

Unknown Speaker  15:18  
The thing with gambling, right? It's a it's something that you can hide very easily. Because when you're going so with drinking, people can see you in the bread. Same thing with drugs, they can see you physically that you're intoxicated, you're liberated, so they know what's wrong with you in that sense. Whereas gambling, it's more of a, it's an emotional roller coaster. But you can you can pin that on, jobs aren't going the right way. Or I'm in a job and I'm just stressed out or you can you can pass the buck, we can pass the blame on to other things, and people can go, Oh, that makes sense. Because maybe they've been through that same emotion. So if they've been through it, you can hide gambling very, very easily if I'm being honest with you.

Ree  16:01  
Okay. So with your dad, then you said obviously he was an alcoholic? was when he was obviously drunk. Was he people just knew and they left him or?

Unknown Speaker  16:13  
Yeah. From a young age, my dad's always been that sort of way. He's always drunk. He's always been intoxicated, even to the point where he's so grown up, this was my life. My dad would work here, he worked as a caterer for Heathrow. He was a manager as well. He would go to work, come home about five o'clock. And every time he came home, I mean, paralytic legless drunk, maybe had a bite to eat the half life, he's in bed, if he's not in bed, he's on the floor, or on the sofa, knockout. My mum would pick us up from school, take us home, get ready for work. And then she would work in as though nights. And so she would leave the house? About half four, quarter five. Pick a friend up, go work a night shift. Come back. So you've got a father who's passed out? Yeah. You've got mum who's working nights. And you've got four children in the house aged 5678. Okay. Go figure. No structure. So I think from my from a young age, I've never really had that safety net, or that structure of grown up maybe that some people had. So when you're given free roam, where's the where's the balance? There is no balance, right?

Ree  17:38  
So would you would you say it and obviously, in being in that environment. Now when it comes to you getting a student loan, like you, maybe having no structure what to do is good, not as a reason. But maybe it's contributed to why you're just spunk out the student loan. And obviously, you've done the same thing. You sold a business and you've kind of spunked out. I mean, obviously, like, I spoke to gamblers, alcoholics and things before. So when you were in the casino, and obviously you're making the money, were you feeling something else other than you know what I can just make a return

Unknown Speaker  18:20  
they got off lab. So let me let me step back a little bit because you've touched on something really important, which is around money. And I think there are three things that every child should be taught grown up, which is self love, self care, and self nurture. See, anything you do in life, whether it's a job, a business, money, relationships, even yourself, it's a relationship. And relationships need love, they need care and need nurture. And if you can't get those three, right, a relationship or whatever doing is not gonna respect you back. Because in order to get more of something, you need to show respect, that respect is done reciprocate mutually, and then it can grow. From a young age, I was never taught that. So as a result, I had no respect for money. I had no respect for relationships. I had no respect for myself. Because I didn't learn these three, I feel the key ingredients that needed to have some sort of stability because I believe whenever you go wrong in life, you can harness those threes to get you back on the right path. So yeah, that's what that's what I felt I was missing and I never got that because I had vacant mum and dad, not show us what that was thinking wrong. My mum loved us. Yeah, but it's just shut to do it more. They're providing care and love,

Ree  19:43  
which I'm guessing her upbringing she was from India can Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  19:47  
yeah. So. So my dad is from Kenya. My mom's from India. So but back

Ree  19:51  
then, as always, the family just work and try to provide in some time they're absent. So Z she's come to this country. and doing what she knows best, right, which is what she had grown up seeing. And you you just hit the nail on the head. So the guy is like, literally maybe rewind this point, another couple of minutes and listen to those three things because we talked about nuggets, all jokes aside, it's very, very important thing. And anyone that's got kids are thinking about having kids. If you if you haven't got kids, look at yourself, can you fit into the three? Can you use those three to help you? And if you do have kids, how can you use those three to help them because they've grown up in a world now where we have less control of what they're seeing wherever they enter school institution, job, TV, they will look at what's out there. So if they don't know how to take that, and you know, use what you said, the self care, the nurturer, the love. Know what you just don't know what again, end up so I make the very, very important. Share them. And so yeah, thanks for thanks for sharing that appreciate,

Unknown Speaker  20:58  
man. Cool. So we're gonna go for now. So where are we so so

Ree  21:04  
we're talking about the chasing a bit like maybe some beliefs and patterns, you had to maybe try to justify why you've made certain decisions. And now you've obviously, we've gone back to the part where you lost the money, you're back home. Fathers don't know anything. Your mom's kind of welcome you back home. And six months are stable. 150k down and sick, would you would you have said now looking at now would you said that you are gambling addict? 100%

Unknown Speaker  21:34  
I think the moment I realized that I was trying to treat this as a business. I knew that when I was gambling addict. Okay, then then. But what happened going on from there? made it even worse. So touching back. So we're back home now? Yeah. So I realized that look, to get the job I need to safety. So let me go into corporate world. And I was quite clever. And I've always been really good in my ability to know that I'm really good at something, especially marketing software. So remember, digital marketing back in 2009 10. A lot of companies use it. A lot of companies maybe weren't. They just class it as marketing, right. But what they were looking for digital marketing managers were marketing now is so separate in terms of, you know, not there's no longer social media, there's social media marketing, and there's different ways of social media. And then there are different levels of it. But back then, company was just looking for someone that could do everything, which is from website, social emails, everything. I knew about that. So I said, well, one, I leverage what I know, and do what I'm good at. So I was able to get a job really quickly into the corporate world. But my my thinking wasn't about getting the job for safety. It was getting a job to feel my addiction. Okay. My brain, man, whoa, look, I've lost 150 grand if I get a good paying job. So my first job when I got out of it, I got paid back. 35 grand. Remember going back from a 30 grand a year, I've now realized that I can do more than that. So 35 grand for me was for other people be good. I'm not knocking that by real. I've seen a lot more so I need to get where it was. So I was treating a job as a means to fuel my addiction. Well, which is, which is really powerful because a lot of people were trying to have jobs or business to build a life or career for them. For me, it was Nana, I'm, I'm full steam into this. I'm fully committed a full tilt in my gambling addiction.

Ree  23:47  
So you just wanted to make that 150 K back 100%

Unknown Speaker  23:51  
That it was chasing, chasing, chasing. So literally, I'm not kidding you. I went from job to job and I worked for some big companies. You know, I was head of marketing for some big telecoms companies, some big companies that know Panasonic and Sony. I'm work for the Middletons. So if you know they are Kate Middleton, then parents run a pipe company called pipe pieces. I was head of marketing and operations for them. I quit that job. But then I went on to being head of marketing for a private jet company around the world. So skip him just checking back a bit. So that was from 2010. I kept doing that up until 2020. What 2019 Sorry,

Ree  24:40  
wow. Nine years. Nine years in addiction.

Unknown Speaker  24:44  
Yeah. However, this get back because I met my wife on a flight back from New York in 2012. I wasn't looking for love. I wasn't looking for a partnership because I was already in relationship with with gambling. Yeah. So this just so happened, but it was a different type of feeling I've ever felt before. So I met my wife in 2012, on a flight back from New York, got married in 2014, because it just, we just knew we had our first child 2420 1420 12 2014 had our first child in 2017. had our second child in the pandemic, when if anyone looked at me in that lifetime, they would look hard is like, because this, this is really people will see me they'll see a turban,

Ree  25:41  
checkpoint family in it. Every time a bug the family married, they're happy two kids, good job,

Unknown Speaker  25:48  
good job, buying a house, all this sort of stuff. So this is what I meant, like about a gambling addiction, it's now called one of the most hidden like addictions out there. It's one of the most fastest growing addictions happening right now. Because you can hide it very easily. So my wife didn't know about this infant, the point where we might have to think about that. So even more from 2012, up until this actual day when my wife and that was a 16th of June 2020, which we'll come on to. So think about all that time, she didn't have a clue what was going on. So I was living a double life. And that double life going into the motional perspective of it. Like the mental physical abuse that you give yourself, is just out of this world. I mean, I wasn't eating properly, I wasn't sleeping properly. I was always on edge. I was hiding money, you know, to so much stuff that was going around. I was living two lives.

Ree  26:56  
There was a typical day, then like, you wake up, you go to work, and you're thinking about gambling, are you willing to not gambling,

Unknown Speaker  27:04  
the gamble, gambling was on my mind 24/7 I would gamble on the way to work, or gamble at work, or gamble, or even stay back after work, pretending extra work or gamble at work after work on the way home from work. And sometimes I'd go into bookies I wouldn't. When I first started gaming, I was in casinos because I loved the whole atmosphere. But then I couldn't do that now because I'm married because the more workload we get on so then online betting became so big. So I had access to online playing I'd come home to are the best is but on how to make excuse on how to go to toilet or gambled. It put on a bit. Like it was just it was a continual just even when I'm with my missus or with my family, I was my back of my head. I was always like just thinking about the last better place. Why did I lose that money? Or if I made money? I'm thinking, well, I need to make more. And maybe I'm on a lucky streak. Now I need to do more, more, more more. So when you're thinking that way, it's not literally on your mind 24/7 And anyone and by by this a trigger letter for anyone maybe listening is that whenever you go into the downward spiral, or wait to realize this is that somebody wants it to meet you. So you must have been really alone when you're going through all these emotions. I said no, this is you must be lonely. It's not loneliness. That was the problem. It was the aloneness and abandonment that created myself in what I would call a safe space. And that was a really that was a really hard thing to play with. Because my safe space really realistically was with my wife, my children, right? That's what any one thing. But because I've lived this life of being someone or being this particular way, act in particular way, people pleasing living life and other people's terms do what other people want me to do. Gambling for me was my time and my own time. And I felt like they respected me no matter how toxic that relationship was with in that time. Make sense? No, no, it makes sense. But

Ree  29:19  
no, no, no, no, no, it makes sense. Because like I said, you're living a double life. You've created a safe space away from your safe place right with your phone. So what kind of effect did it have on you relationship? How was it because obviously you got married you had a couple of kids? Like did it affect your marriage?

Unknown Speaker  29:40  
Well, at the time, we only had one child because Roy was born in 2021. So we got but it did. It did because the they will say you hurt the people that you're closest to and at that time I didn't realize that I was Haig, not just myself. I was hurting my wife. I said Getting my mum on site my brothers, my family, I was hurting my friends. And you know the crazy thing about this was is that I begged, borrowed and stole money to fuel my addiction. So a borrowed a borrowed money from friends I stole from family. And I've stolen defrauded from banks and credit card companies and everything else to feel this addiction. All while thinking that had a perfect life you now you know, you're talking almost about 1020 20 250,000 pounds, a quarter of a million pound on gambling. For anyone that's a big pill to swallow, in terms of how much money that you've gambled away at same time trying to live a life of, of this marriage and, and it was rocky because my wife and then the more I bet the bigger bets. It was like the whole fluctuation of emotions. Well, I've clicked on very quickly, she's not stupid, but she didn't want to hurt our relationship. So I took advantage of it. So I liked her. And it did it got really rocky and then to the point where it was the 16th of June 2020, when he plucked up the courage to ask them what the fuck was wrong. Though that was a big moment for me at the moment. So yeah, I get emotional thinking about it. Because it was such a, it was such a pivotal moment for me, because I can tell you exactly how it all panned out. So it was about eight o'clock in the morning. I just come out of the shower. And I remember my boy was playing in his room. He's only two years old at the time. And as I walked into the bedroom, I saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed, you know, crying. And obviously, you see my wife and anyone that has similar for knows my wife. She's a beautiful woman with thick black wave here. And she's a strong woman as well, you know, to pull my shit and it's on a day to day basis. Normal hard is to put on my shit. You gotta love her still. But she gave us good she got you know. And for her to say like that something was definitely wrong. And then she looked up with me with these tears in the eyes of disappointment. And I couldn't click on what what it was. And then I saw my phone or I saw a phone in her hand. It was my phone. And then my heart just dropped my stomach like that, because I didn't know what she found on it. And that's when she turned the phone over to what the fuck is going on here? What are all these bets? You know what's happening? Why are you doing this? You see, I could have lied to at that time. I could have told you that a friend told me to make some money for the pandemic flu, some bets. But remember, we've just gone into pandemic, where a couple of months in maybe 16 to June 2020. So I could have lied. But they say you know, the truth shall set you free. And at that time I decided just whatever happens happens. Let this be the truth. I thought a massive sigh of relief for telling her exactly what everything. Everything that happened and everything went on. But then came the flood of guilt. Hardest thing I had to do more so than the guilt, the pressure of hiding everything because I just broken the number one fundamental thing in any relationship, which is trust. Yeah. And we didn't know what to do from there, it'd been honestly we were like, See, I was trying to chase the jackpot right through for 12 years. So I was trying to chase the jackpot. The jackpot was sitting right in front of me. And I didn't realize that that time until that moment. And for her to go pack it all in and let's call it quits. I don't know where to go from here. We have to work on each other. We have to work them to learn to beg and plead and say I'm sorry. But had to make it work. And I remember groveling just to the point of giving up a chance, give me another chance give me another chance. She said to me, I can only give us a chance. If you get professional help. And then this thing kicked in which is ego right? Because from a young age already told to brush your version on the carpet, get on with life. That's something I was told.

Ree  34:39  
Especially as a man I know there's this beetle female thing going on Dante's runway ladies but as a man it's very, very difficult. It is why men suicide depression is the number one killer because people as a man you, you, you I don't feel we have a platform to be emotional. I just said it

Unknown Speaker  35:03  
is true. And I think I think he's getting a little bit better now. Yeah. Some people I have seen abused that whole mental health thing. But there are people out there that are suffering in silence. And that's the problem which is going on, because it's the whole ego getting in a car show weakness. And men, especially from our culture, are told not to act that way. But I realized that whenever the ego ever served you, it's only ever done bad things for me. Which is why saying like, we have choices to make the right one. And so I decided at that time to just put my ego aside, and let what happens happens, and I remember calling for professional help. And what I realized, you know, it took it took a lot of courage and balls for me to even pick up the phone and talk to some random person that I've never talked to before. And you're not the really, the really fucked up thing about this as well, right? Is that you, you would hope that you could lean on on family, or you've got the courage to lean on your parents or your brothers if you're, if you've been blessed with parents and brothers or sisters. But I almost did, but I felt shame. Go to friends, shame. I reached out both community. And in our in a Sikh culture, drinking is a big problem, especially alcohol, lover, dad. So yes, they've been trained more about alcohol, they've been trained around, you know, drugs, but gambling, they're not they don't have to help people gambling. And, you know, they tried to enforce faith upon. But that time, I didn't need my faith I needed. I need to buy I need basically someone to help me through surviving. So I didn't really get support. And if mama community, which is really, it's a really big thing, and it's a shame to say, but what I realized, then it's totally different. What I realize now, is that because they weren't equipped to help people with addiction, so that's what my charity does, no, we try to do more of that. But I realized, if I'm gonna get help, I need to go and speak to someone that one knows, I've had success in helping other people overcome addiction. Built to coach and mentor, right, they that, that if you need help, and things are not going away, it's it's not it's not weakness to ask for help it's actually strengthen. And what they you know, you only know what you know, but this is why you have to lean on people that have got more expertise in, in certain fields, whether it's in business, or in my case, addiction, or whatever it is, because they can at least guide you on a path of how to achieve the outcome that you want. I didn't realize that until I got on that journey. And they say in order to create, you know, a new experience, only believe you need to create new experience. And that's what happened I, for someone as a seek to go into getting therapy,

Ree  38:07  
unheard of,

Unknown Speaker  38:08  
I don't know, unheard of no one I knew around me had gone into therapy. But that was a that was a changing moment. Because I realized asking for help is a strength not a weakness. And communication is key

Ree  38:22  
is a rewarding thoughts and for help is a strength doesn't matter who you are, where you are in life. Because I bet you there's always someone who's doing better, that you can lean on, get inspiration from and it doesn't matter if it's not in your circle. Because chances are when you are taking that next step, whether it is a downturn, like an addiction, or if it's a business goal, sometimes you need to move past your circle because they're not going to serve you. And it's not a selfish it's you doing what you need by you know, building yourself up, because I'm sure you know, your your dad, your husband by you reaching out, it's only going to help them.

Unknown Speaker  39:05  
Yeah. But the time, I need to put them on the back burner if I want to, which is a really selfish thing to say. Because I need to help myself first. And when I helped myself in gambling, that was a different type of help. That was me abusing myself. Whereas now this is me. protecting myself from my demons. And in order to get the help that you need, you have to realize that you've got to do this for you in order to basically move forward because if you're doing this to other people, you'll never get the outcome that you need from being obviously so yeah, so I've got the addiction. There's 12 weeks. Yeah, and then for me, it was like that. In basic when you come out of addiction, they talked about something called you know what's going to be your turn point or what's going to be You're sustainable change? Would you mean to stand for change? But what are you talking about? They go, what are you going to do? That's going to give you more satisfaction. That's going to give you more drive than what you're feeling in. In your addiction state. I didn't know I was that I tried to get my gardening. I tried, Jim, I tried being a bloody Baker. But if I'm honest to you, all these things were just a plaster over what was really seeping through. And I realized that one, this is where this is really what happened. I sat down, had a serious conversation myself and said, Well, I'm trying to get a job. No one's really hiring. Because I'm not I'm jobless. Right? So what do I need to do to make this work for me and my family? So that's when I realized, well, I knew about business. I knew about software, I knew about marketing. So one, I just take what I know and create successful business. Yeah, and I've done it before, so I can do it. Now. I feel I'm ready now. Because I'm in a different headspace. And that's what I did. Shortly after, in June, 2020, just after I came out, and I've got my CBT I was talking to my therapist, she said you need this to get you going. And then my wife was no no, go get a job. But she realized, well, no one is hiring. So okay, cool, do this. But you've got to make it work. And sometimes you've got to, you've got to help yourself. But also, you've got to have a fire to make sure that if this doesn't work, what is going to be the biggest outcome or the problem that's going to call you if this doesn't work. And for me, I needed that. Because the the guilt and the stress of not having it working and losing my children and my family and my home was not worth it. I've been down that route before. And I realized that if I was going to do that, I needed to make my business work at all costs. So that's when I started my journey as an entrepreneur. The the tough a tough one, because now you've got to make sure it works. You've got to make sure you've got to prove yourself. And ultimately, you have to get rid of your habits. So you've got to make sure they don't go into old habits again. So those three things were like, if it wasn't pressure enough, learn the pressure. And pressure applied in the right way, is a good thing. It's not a bad thing. It's like even anxiety. I think this is something I've been reading about this something called optimal change in anxiety, which is anxiety can be used for good if you allow it to when people mistake anxiety is fear. Yeah. So what they do is when they stretch us out of our comfort zone is they let anxiety kick in. But it's not anxiety that stops them. It's the fear of failure, or not achieving what they want as the outcome that's causing it. Anxiety is there to push you forward, Hans in the right way, because what is that guy to do is pushing you right? Yes, is if you get momentum pushing you forward. That's a good thing. So what happens is that if you leverage anxiety in the right way, actually, it's a good thing. But don't let it turn into fear. Because then that's only gonna stop you.

Ree  43:39  
Yeah, nice. So that's a brilliant piece. It's probably how I feel. And I feel the sometimes we as entrepreneurs to deliver to me wanting to deliver is not the fear of failure when I'm anxious if I can't deliver is that I just want to deliver. So I can go forward and we're talking about pressure how a diamond made you know, extreme pressure, so it's, I think that's another Golden Nugget because it's the word that is associated with bad when everyone says anxiety, I think people haven't panic, panic attacks and blowing in paper bags, but in the good way it can be used Great.

Unknown Speaker  44:24  
Well, the panic attacks. Once again, anxiety, remember, it's an emotion. The when people have panic attack, or they get depressed, or they fall into the fear and stuff like that. It's because of a past behavior or trauma or pain, that's allowing them to have that have that feeling or have that have behavioral pattern is habitual. Most stuff that we do is a betrayal and the habits of present it from adopt present it from the past, not from the feature because why we haven't lived there, right? That's not even that's not even present. So when you think about it, so when people start getting into hallucinations and shits not going to work is because they're attaching it or harboring it to a pain or problem. That's never, that's been there's a negative. So there's a whole list and get all going wrong in the future. Well, the future hasn't happened yet. So if you can harbor a negative thought, you can definitely harbor a positive thought, who's. And here's a scientific fact, it takes seven positive thoughts to outweigh one negative thought.

Ree  45:37  
So think people, if you're having 10 Crappy thoughts about yourself, you need to make seven new ones positive ways to outweigh it. And I'd say that about people as well. If you've got three, four people talking crap to you then talk to another 1520 people. That's why I haven't a good circle is important. Having a good circle as an entrepreneur is even more important. Because when you start a business, especially, especially as an an Asian, right, you know, if you're Indian, I guess it's for a lot of cultures. But being the academic group, the, the job is such a massive pressure. And when you stand up and say, no, maybe this isn't for me, when you decide you don't want to please people and say I want to do what I want to do. And I want to start a business, those people around you that I've been pushing you to, to go up the ladder in your job, or whatever ain't the people you need around when you start business, because they're going to be the ones that are waiting for you to fall and help you pull you down at all. So this is a big massive thing with community. And just like you're able to gamble at the at your fingertips, this community at our fingertips, we can be around people we want to be around. So associate yourself with gonna be so you can have these positive will have a negative force is normal. You if you are having positive foods every day, I will allow what drug is your drug? It's natural. So I just want to go I want to touch back on something. Right. So we talked about how an actual french fry saved your life. And you haven't heard how yet, so? So take us on that journey.

Unknown Speaker  47:22  
Yeah. So starting your business. So I've got that until it started. I had this fire in my belly or went up there started chasing clients. And that's it. So before I was chasing money for time, now I'm testing time for money. So I'm going out there trying to get clients, emailing clients trying to win client doing everything I possibly can. Why because I don't want to let my family down and myself down. So I started a business. And I was just, I was working

Ree  47:51  
post therapy now. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  47:52  
this is this is post this is whilst therapy is happening as well. Because I'm trying to do turn everything around. Yep, good times of the essence, invest what I felt Time is of the essence. So So remember, June, I started the business. So I just kept doing it kept doing it, because I did it at the same time. And then as I was doing it building out, watching YouTube videos, Googling How to Quit successful business, how to make more money, how to have passive income, all this sort of stuff. You know, I was reading books, and I find it hard, I'm not gonna lie, I found it really hard to try and run a business trying to implement knowledge. And as a result was happening. I was just going round in circles on the hamster wheel man, like, I just felt like I was just going round and round and not getting anywhere. Myself, right. What am I doing wrong? But lo and behold, I had, you know, a meeting that, you know, I got a client who was interested in my service. Bear in mind, this is now on the 18th of August. Yeah.

Ree  49:05  
My wedding day.

Unknown Speaker  49:06  
Is it really? It is August 21 2019 2019. Okay,

Ree  49:13  
so this is why you're still spinning roulette wheels.

Unknown Speaker  49:17  
Well, I'll speak I'll speak I spending a hamster wheel this time. So. So So yeah, so I was just going out there. I was just spinning

Ree  49:28  
in context. So in June 2020s, when your wife clocked on to what was happening, the only you've committed that, okay, maybe business is your route to go. And at that time, you're getting therapy as well. Now, two months later, we are here now where you're, you're back to

Unknown Speaker  49:43  
exactly that. Okay. Yeah. But in those two months, I was working like even I think one day I just didn't I didn't sleep for like, two three days. You know, just trying to make your work. So every time that I was awake every hour that was wake I was just literally working in the business trying Make a success. I just felt like I was failing. I felt like I wasn't getting in clients, I wasn't doing things right. I was just going round until I landed one opportunity. And this was, you know, looking at it, we're looking at at least like a six figure contract here. And I pinned all my hopes onto this meeting. So this meeting was in Nottingham, I drove up that day, I was rehearsing was going to say everything marked on this when you go to sales pitch or segmentation wherever it is, you literally go through right this moment and save themselves to somebody who's myself this one when he talked about us planning everything, I was doing it. And I remember going into the meeting room, and I pitch miles off man are fucking crushed that pitch, loving life. And I remember, you know, sitting afterwards, you know, just just going after and say, look, look, you know, where are we at, you know, what are we Where's what's the next steps forward? And I remember the guy that was to sort of run the project, he was tapped to sort of upset me. And he said, parched, I love this man. I love what you do. I love you know how you're sort of providing all the solutions for us. However that's the word I hate. However, and I remember the day was really sunny and everything just dawned on me for like, everything went cold and gray cloudy, cuz I news bad news is coming. However, we've got permabanned at the moment. And I think we're okay with them. But basically showed us plus, I don't think we need you right now. And I just thought everything just I Trump, I just wonder the floor to swallow me up. Get me out of here. And I'm opening up meeting with our contract. And I pinned all my hopes into this. And I remember wife trying to get in touch with me saying, you know, what's happened know how did it go and I refuse to take the call. Because I felt like a failure, man. Once again, I've just put my hope centers meeting. I delayed going back that day. And then I sat in Starbucks, I was just chilling, outside to go home. Bear in mind this mean finished about three o'clock in the afternoon. I decided to go back home about 11 o'clock at night as it might go. driving on the motorway on the way home on the one in the Leicester we playing everything I've done wrong in my life. Wherever fucked up, why am I such failure? Bad dad, bad husband, this battle round. And I remember just driving my car back there shit, man, like I can't deal with this anymore. And I just tried to attend the current Central Reserve. I'd like to call it quits that day.

Unknown Speaker  53:03  
See, that moment was like that is it for me wash a bit. I closed my eyes. That car spun out. I thought it's dead. I wanted to be dead. A lot of mice do not know the cause. Depending on when or depending on the cup, no broken bones. Car was like all fucked. And I got out. I looked at the car. The car was just in wrecks.

Unknown Speaker  53:51  
And I walked out there without any broken bones with only a couple of scratches on my face. And even when the paramedics came on scene to like, where's the driver, I'll go I'm here. They looked and they had to double take they're like listen, wherever if you don't believe in anything above you or higher presence or anything like that start because you should not be how you are looking at that. And that was my turning point in terms of realizing that you know, there is something that's there's something here, but didn't know what it was. And I remember calling my wife telling what's happening now she's losing her ship, her family losing your ship. And I had to stay the night around a friend's house because I'd spent on his gun and he lived in like not far. Stay around his place the next day. I went to the wreck the salvage area. Look to the car, they look to me go fuck you now like, what's going on? Like, definitely live and then go back home. On the 19th of August, recouped from a brain was business, business, business business, once again, gambling thing, gambling, gambling, I've always had that. I don't give a shit what's happening, like, if I'm committed to something, I'm gonna do it. Yeah. And then on the 25th of August the next day, I remember, my phone stopped blowing up that morning. And I was like, people calling me at a client call me had emails coming in. Everything, just wait is a really weird morning. And people have been chasing for now trying to get in touch with me, or people calling me up to try to find out about the accident and what happened. It got on top of me. And then I just said boys at two I said, Fuck this, I took him out with me, got in a car, and I just wanted to drive around. And I was driving around. And my boy, you know, he never asked for anything he drove past McDonald's is our Dad, can I chips whenever asked me for anything, so I just drove in, went to the drive thru. And I ordered him some chips and got round, they hand it to me the quite a bit warm. And I handed over to my son just for this moment. He was just he looked at me. He took a bite and happiness I saw from him. And then for him to turn around, said, Dad, I'm the luckiest boy life that dawned on me why I'm here. As I did what I realized what I'm worth now, I'm more than money, or more than anything else. I'm a father. And my boy needs me. And I realized that if I left, two days ago, in this Father's world, I have not equipped my child with all the tools and information on how to live life, how to go and thrive in life. So I made a promise to myself there and then to never let myself down. So I can never let my children down. Because I knew I had no one on the way. So that's when I went I thought this, I know exactly what I need to do. I went back home. Through the madness, I spent a week of planning thing, everything else. When I went into business. See that chip we talked about wasn't just a chip. It was a turning point in my life. It was a moment that I realized that you know what? Blessings can come from everywhere. And anywhere. That was my blessing because I realized in that moment, what I was worth, because in order to go out there, you need to understand what you're worth, they can start appreciating other people and why people could start appreciating you because you need to be a value. So I heard this really, really good quote, which I'll come on to later on. But what I realized that I need to start working on the business. And then I worked on the business, it wasn't going the way I wanted. And I kept doing it and doing I've got a couple of clients here and there. But not enough to sustain a good business or good lifestyle. And it wasn't till so that was in August 20. It was a May 2021

Unknown Speaker  58:22  
where I saw a Facebook ad, because things weren't going right in my business. I was about to pack it all in. I think at that time I had enough I just pressure everything and everything else. Only having one or two clients pay me like a grand or two grand a month. That's no that's not business. You know, that's just a hobby. That's, that's just a hobby man. Like, that's not gonna you know, I was working in jobs where I was paying, no, I'd been paid like 100 150 grand a year. Yeah, just go back to the Hodge Stop fucking around. I'd backpack it in. I remember sitting on the sofa, telling my wife back teller. And I saw a Facebook ad and that Facebook ad I saw right then was another turning point because I realized that I needed help once again, ask for help is a strength or weakness. So I've watched this ad is only like a minute long. And I realized that one I jumped on this webinar because this person was invited me to come on a webinar to take my business from a failing into a thriving to learn what it takes. Because one It leverages on the standard, right. So I joined a webinar, listening to the person speak, and I realized that I needed more help from this person. So that's when I started going, you know what I need to invest into the business and myself. You see, when I talk about investments, see people get confused with what investment is. Investment two things. It's got time more than anything. Because you could go out and spend a lot of money on shit. But it's not going to give you the time that you need or the time to experience those Emotions are those moments in your life. See, for me, it wasn't about having flashy stuff, even till now it's not about having flashy stuff. It's about creating memories. That's for me. Remember, it's all about my children and my family, right? This is why I do I do, man. So I went into a business school for day business school, right. And I learned seven prints, basically any was going to be taught was seven fundamental principles that every successful business uses. And I was going through each of the principles, and on the third day, you know, they pushed me to go and close. I was a bit nervous, because I'm was scared. And I also had thing by a gamble. I'm not gonna be able to, I'm shit with money previously. So I had shit money management had ship money mindset, right? And I was told myself, if I got money, why am I worth it? Like, why am I worth having success? Because I was abused money, I think you need to let that sink in for a second. Because when people don't make enough money, it's because they haven't even respected money, or they've disrespected money, or they haven't appreciate money. So if you can't appreciate what you have right now, how can you appreciate making more? So for me, that's what I was best at as my second point. And my mentor at the time, did some voodoo shit, me. But no voodoo shape, but it's more Systemising approach and how to deliver deliver my sales approach. On that third day, bear in mind, this is a four day business school, I closed a 500,000 pound deal. Phone call that for me. That, for me was a thing about a 500 grand deal of one phone call for their business. This is her day, like, remember, like I said before, in order to create a new belief create a new experience. Yeah, you know, I wrote down a goal, which is I want to try quit 100k in one year. Imagine you now making 500 grand or 10 grand or five grand, or even two grand sell? What's that going to do to your belief? What's that going to do to your value your self worth? That I didn't understand the power of it until right now. And then I podcast, even on this podcast with you, bro. But even still, like even now, because remember, I'm going to different levels. And they say every new level has a new devil, right. But one thing I have to say, though, is that I have always been shipped with focus. And I need a guidance, I need a mentorship because focus is the biggest thing, because this is what I've seen with people, right. And even for you might have seen this as well, by the way, because I know you're in this space. And you've helped so many business owners, you know, have a life of something that they couldn't have dreamed. But you can you can have every single strategy that you want. You can read as many books, you can have the perfect plan. But if you don't have the mindset

Unknown Speaker  1:03:20  
to take to understand what it takes to implement that. All the strategies and everything else that you just learned doesn't mean fuck, or if I'm being honest.

Ree  1:03:28  
No, it's true. Totally true.

Unknown Speaker  1:03:30  
So, for me this was it really. I was like, Yeah, I got it. But I needed somewhere to go. I'm Han, because one thing I've done, and only do they help you collapse your timeframe to get the successes that you need in your business. You actually open up bigger opportunities. Yeah, because now you're associated with that person, they might know people. And that helps you achieve your successes a lot quicker as well. Right? But also, they hold you accountable. And it helps you get because obviously, you can take it you got two people, same business, same everything they've got everything they've got is exactly the same. However, once invested into a mentor, I guarantee the person that's invested into mentor will achieve successes lot quicker than the person that hasn't, because that mental is gonna collapse the timeframe. Yeah, that's what happened to my business. That's why I was able then to go and create multiple businesses, generating six and seven figure contracts. In February of this year. 2020. January, I went up to America. I met up with a client in February okay, it was the end of January, February came back. I came back from that meeting, closing a two and a half million pound deal. Wow.

Ree  1:04:45  
What you were doing in a day is brilliant.

Unknown Speaker  1:04:48  
And so that's, this is it. Success is easy. If I'm being honest to you. Success. It's easy once you implement what it takes to happen to yours

Ree  1:05:01  
is the work the implementation that yeah, that people can't actually get through. And they fail. Yeah. Each Other one is going to go back and imagine like, the worst happen.

Unknown Speaker  1:05:18  
Do you not realize it? When I danced on death's doorstep? Nothing's gonna stop me. And what I realized, is that chasing success to ultimately fell. What I say is that don't be a personal success be a person of worth. Yeah. Because if you're worth something to your customers, that's a value. That's, you've written a ticket to success. And that in itself, will literally pay you for life. If you carry on with that, that mindset, that's what

Ree  1:05:57  
mindset brilliant mindset. This was before before we would go to a club without a couple of things, right. So way back in the Convo when you said you disappointed people, you said you mentioned your mom, your brother, your father, you didn't mention your dad. You're not so you're disappointing him.

Unknown Speaker  1:06:21  
No, even to him when I say that now. I appreciate my dad. I love him. And I've accepted who he is and how he is. I love him. But I didn't disappoint him. I disappointed other people in my life. That meant something to me. See, we are chosen with biological people. You can love people. You can appreciate people. But some of these people that think of it this way. Was my dad there for me when I was younger. No. Is he here for me now? No. However, I've embarked on a relationship with him because I realized that it's not about me anymore. Men. Like we are good where we are. You have opportunity with my children. You have something that you never had with us. And I've seen it. I've seen it with him, especially with the grandchildren. And I'm okay with that. I'm good, but I'm happy with it. But what is putting him? No, because I asked him now. Do you find me a disappointment? You'll say no. But disappointed my mum more than anyone. But it's more so my wife and children. That's why. But even now I've come to people pleasing. I was hardcore lay the Joker the pet the life was sold the pie. I was doing it to feel more significant to feel of worth. I wanted people to say hi, that's hard, man. Great guy, brilliant guy. But here's what happened. When I started publicly talking about my addiction. My closest family members I'm talking about my cousins first cousins stopped talking to me. People stopped talking to me. At first they hit me as a bastards like, we've grabbed you ever since children. You don't want nothing to do with me anymore. Because of what you're not going to catch. It's not fucking disease. So, but then, like said persons come from everywhere. Yeah. Because other the top people you've talked about, talked about people dragging down or what I call it the crabs and bucket mentality, right? If you if you hang around people that you only end up going to people, please those people again, you're gonna have to go well, that's their lifestyle, but not in a bad way, elevate myself from where they are, even to where I was. So that's why I need to hang around with people like URI and people around the community or people that are watching this, to realize that surround yourself with people that you either aspire to be or are that are in the place that you want to be because they will teach you things that will these little one, two little steps. And these one, two little things can literally shift your business and your life. If you're just open to being coachable. That's all any coach or mentor asks. That's why I've been able to have a success in my business and why I do what I do now because I've been able to be coachable even right now, which is even going to 10 figures I've got to play a different ballgame. I've got clients come from different places. I'm now talking about structural change in my in my accounts because I've got clients into pain of the girls. I'm not going well. If I run a UK company, I'm not going to go into that but I need to reach Structure certain things. I'm

Ree  1:10:00  
really pleased about that with my other money company, then.

Unknown Speaker  1:10:04  
That's exactly.

Ree  1:10:08  
It's brilliant, because I'm glad they wanted that. And, you know, anyone that thinks I'm the host, if I'm just being quiet, I'm paying attention for point, just like what I raise a second point is, what would you say to that mate? That after you sold the business took you to the casino? Do you have one? Do you still speak to him? Number two lies anything you would say if you're not speaking to him.

Unknown Speaker  1:10:41  
I don't talk to that person anymore. And here's one thing that even you can do as well real your audience could do. Journal, I didn't understand the power of journaling. And I thought there's some tree hugging woowoo shit. Until it wasn't. See what you should do is keep a 30 day journal. Whenever you feel it up in emotion, write down Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you crying, write down the day, write down the time and write down where you are and who you're with. At the end of 30 days, you will start seeing emerging patterns, you'll start seeing where you're crying, where certain environments are toxic, I realized who my toxic circle were, I was able then to push that out. As are going going what let me find a new tribe. Let me find a new circle that I can start associate myself. So for me, I don't talk to people that are that are toxic, and I only found out through the power agentic. So that's a little tip that you can do if you want to try and figure that out. And then just review this put down you'll you'll see you'll see some pans really quickly.

Ree  1:11:44  
This is a great tip. And like it like you said, it's not an illusion, it's it's just being comfortable with being able to measure and understand yourself. It's like in a business, you got a KPI, right, you got to work through what it means like, why do we stop because it's us, you got something that makes you happy, keep doing it, it's gonna make you sad, do less of it. Somebody that makes you angry, see less of them. Still have a have a way to cope with it. Turn the anger into something else because to my car. So today, we had a call and we talked about knee jerk reactions. And I said look in road rage, like, we can be quick to judge that person. But do we know their state? Why they're maybe speeding or doing something to get somewhere? No. But we'll have to stop to get the car and start a fight in areas sad. The last thing I want to ask you then is that as you listen to podcasts, like they're entrepreneurs, so what is your number one secret to success?

Unknown Speaker  1:12:50  
The number one secret to success, in my opinion, is stop thinking stop doing. A lot of people procrastinate on having the perfect plan, have the perfect business idea, or you know, trying to get everything or get their ducks row aligned. It's not going to work. Version one is better than none. And if you just get out there, start telling, in fact, you've got an idea. Start talking to people start saying I'm working on new business, I'm working on the new program, I'm working on this. It's going to be ready in a few weeks, would you be interested in knowing more about it, you're gonna have to have to build the bloody thing. But start building interest. Just get out. Get out there and stop telling people about what you're doing, why you're doing it and stop fucking implementing the quickest way to success is through implementation. So stop thinking stop doing and watch what happens. It just takes first steps people want to get from step one to step 10. Understand that there's 23456789 It's a journey, it's a process. And what you'll start realizing is that once you start getting things done, you're going to fail, that's okay. But you're gonna learn from them. And then you're gonna move forward with them. So just realize that just get out there and do man. That's all I say.

Ree  1:14:13  
Like, is that version one better than none or more? Maybe some of you will know this one, just do

Unknown Speaker  1:14:18  
it. Just do it. The

Ree  1:14:20  
Saints form said yeah, it will this show will get sponsored at some point.

Unknown Speaker  1:14:25  
And funny story. If you get a chance Google wide just do it has come into fruition. When you read the story. It's actually about a an inmate that was on death row. Get a chance to read

Ree  1:14:37  
interesting code today. Now I just want to say look, thank you. It's been a brilliant, brilliant story. It's been an emotional roller coaster. You know, thank you for opening up. He didn't have to answer things. I oxys. We appreciate that. I appreciate it. I'm sure the viewers or listeners are going to appreciate that as well. And thank you again for coming on the show sharing your life sharing your journey, your successes, your failures. And there are people that are, are maybe suffering and gambling is something you're going through, like listen to this audio is links are going to be his information for his charity, how you can get support is going to be below how you can follow him and you can learn from him. And, you know, just ultimately bet yourself. And if you are in a place where it's not working right now, remember, it's not permanent. You just need to have a few steps to get out of it. And if you are gone down that path where you're gambling, you're not alone, right in your heart, and you got his charity. So thank you again for being on the show. And ppreciate me, man, glad to have you and we will see you on the next show.

Unknown Speaker  1:15:44  
Love you, man. Take care. I wish you could I do one thing. Yeah, they say and I'd say this people, the house always wins. But make sure this time your house always wins. And you need to redo your house because not the way it wants to be. Go out and ask for help. Reach out to re reach out to his community. If you're stuck. Understand that there's people here to help you. That's what I've got to say.

Ree  1:16:10  
Definitely. And on that note, we'll see you on the next one.