A Conversation with Gayathrie Shankar

HITS Visual Communication student Khusi BSc Viscom sits down with actress Gayathrie Shankar (Super Deluxe). Gayathrie reveals her accidental debut in a bowling alley and how she overcame severe stage fright to star alongside legends like Kamal Haasan and Fahadh Faasil.

She breaks down the collaborative process behind Super Deluxe, battling imposter syndrome, and winning a 50-hour filmmaking award on a whim during lockdown. Finally, she shares an empowering "fibrous root" philosophy for students, explaining why it’s perfectly okay to pursue multiple passions and not have your entire life figured out in college.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everyone, I am Khishikutidar, a student of visual communication at Hindustan Institute of Technology and Science. Today we have Ms. Gaitri with us. Thank you, Kushi. Thank you for having me here. I'm really enjoying my time at Hindustan Institute of Technology Sector. I like calling it hits though. How could how would you describe your acting debut and explained that? I didn't plan on being in the industry. I was just in a bowling alley and uh the director was happened to be casting in Bangalore. Because I had stage fright. For the longest time in my life, I didn't know I had interest in acting. Yeah. So I used to do just, you know, like um say dialogue in front of the mirror in my own house in my bedroom and I would dance and all that. But I always had stage fright. In my school, in my college, uh, I never actually did any um stage performances. All that started only after my high school. You would go red and I just had so much stage fright. Like I didn't like attention. So it came as a surprise not just to me, but also my family that uh acting happened. You have been a part of a critically acclaimed film, Super Deluxe, and it was your character was an emotionally charged character. How did you how did you get into that character? What was the process of uh actually it was the process of getting into that character was effortless because of uh the direction I got from my director. Um so when he first told me this story and he told me about this character, I was thinking maybe I don't want to do it because it's a mother, and and you know the star cast is that I'm probably going to get overshadowed. I had all these doubts in my mind. Um but then he also narrated this scene between Shilpa and uh Raskuti when Raskuti is taking him to school and they're walking uh and he asks, such things about a transgender from a child's perspective and how it was explained to that child. Once I heard that scene, I decided I'm going to be part of the movie. It just really touched me a lot, and I I decided I'm gonna be part of that movie. After that, we had a um reading session where the director would read that's my scenes over and over again. And without him knowing, sometimes he modulates also as every character in the scene. So I know what he expects from the other characters, I know what he expects from me. He would record this reading as voice notes, and before shoot of that schedule, whatever scenes he's going to take, those voice notes will come to you and he'll say, Go through this, this is what we're gonna shoot the schedule. Before the day of the shoot, I'll get that particular scene, whatever we're gonna shoot. He said, This is what it is. Do your revision and come. And your revision is basically just listening to what he's saying. That's enough. And I I really like that he had such a clear vision, such a detailed uh approach to whatever he was doing, and that really helped me get into my character. She nice to know. I didn't know there was a whole process behind like this. Yeah, yeah. So it's not it's not the case with all the movies though, I have to tell you that. Some movies you get your dialogues after you're in your costume and you're in position and they give you the dialogue, and you're like, oh, okay, I have to say this. There have been movies where I've felt very, very underprepared. I think Super Deluxe was one movie where I didn't feel that way. I felt really prepared, and I I I knew what was expected of me, I knew what I have to do. And he was very open to conversation and dialogue also. So if I have feedback and I say, I think, you know, I've been crying ever since the movie started. I at this point, when he's saying something like, Orpodna, I I feel like I don't want to cry there. It just my life seems so ridiculous at this point. Can my character just like laugh? Be like, really, like that. So uh that's not what he wanted, but that's something that came to me naturally, and I had the freedom to tell him that this is what is coming to me naturally. So we did two takes, one take what with what he wanted, and one take with what was coming naturally to me. Um, and he told me, you know, in the edit it'll be my decision what goes in the movie, which of these takes I'll use. But uh I'm just glad that I had the space to, you know, express. And it's it was a very collaborative kind of environment. So best best movie experience. Oh, that's the best movie experience. Yeah, and you had like a very worse attack almost. The decision that you make for choosing these scripts, uh I don't understand how, but they they're they're amazing. How can you get into the mindset of each of these characters? I think um in some sense they're all versions of me, but also some very alien characters to me. Like um someone like a Narula Kunda Kakata Karandana. I was not that girl growing up. So getting into that character was like looking like that, talking like that is something that I had to work on. But I think emotions somewhere I could understand. All of these characters I play because I'm convinced I understand their emotions. Otherwise, I I don't think I take it up. I don't think I'll do justice to it if I do take it up. You the your debut films, right? Um uh Padini Tamisa and then the movie. I don't remember how to look at it. Yes, that's the movie. So they ha they are like so different from each other. One is a psychological thriller while the other one is a dark comedy. So in the span of the year, how did you like you know jump from the movies characters? Okay, so basically, those movies were not shot in the same year, they just happened to release in the same year. Um again, Narulakanu Bakata Kano was just this very self-deprecating kind of humor that a lot of actors didn't get. So the director's uh first option was not me. He had actually gone around asking a lot of other people to be Dana, and uh I think somewhere they didn't get self-deprecating humor or they didn't want to do it on screen. But I was okay with that, and I think that's changed my the course of my life. It's nice to know because that was that was a that was your breakthrough role. Correct.

unknown 6:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

And how you made your directorial debut uh in and you won an award, the gold film of the year award 2020s. Oh we did a research nice. Um so how uh we as Wiscom students we are really interested in shooting short films and films in general. So, how was your experience shooting the sh the short film? I had no hopes actually. That was like a last ditch option. I was going through a breakup and I was not in a good mind space, and this ad popped up on Instagram, and I said, why not? Let me try. And um, there was a mobile film making category in that, and I said, Okay, this is the cheapest participation fee. I don't know what I'm doing, but I think I'm gonna try this option. And I just made a few calls, called some of the assistant cameramen that I've worked with, saying, Listen, there's no money in this gig. I'm not a great director on this my first time, but if you're willing, will you be part of this? And it was a really fun experience. I think I've realized one thing about me if you give me a lot of time, I can't get tasks done. This 50-hour challenge really quick because I've been wanting to make a short film for a while, but without a deadline, I'm like, oh okay, maybe I'll wait for a better story, maybe I'll do this, maybe I'll do that. And I was just, you know, procrastinating on that whole process. Uh after this 50 hour filmmaking me, you only have 50 hours to uh write, direct, edit, and submit. From the scratch. Yeah. So that's the best part about that challenge. And I think uh having that deadline, having that, you know, fire burning your back, uh, that that's what got me to make it. And I had no hopes. And no hopes of winning, but we won. Something happened. And how did you come up with the concept? The concept was about A an instance of A. E. Jabdul Kalam, right? Oh that, okay. So I participated in the competition twice. Yeah. So um I was so they give you the theme. Uh sometimes it's like uh genre, sometimes they tell you like what the theme is like prevention is better than cure, something like that. So you have to think about what you want to do with that. I think uh the APJ Abdul Kalam one, I the theme that year was uh biography. So, and I was just thinking about I don't know what whose biography. There was drama, some other thing, and we had a lot of back and forth with that team. I would suggest one idea, everyone would reject it, they would suggest some idea, and I'm not connecting with it, I have to direct it, and I'm not connecting with it. And I called my mother. My mother's like, you should make something about somebody great, like APJ Abdul Kalam. I was like, Okay, like read Wings of Fire. It's a small book, you can read it. I'm like, I have 50 hours, I don't think I can read the book and then do this. But uh, thanks to Google, I think um I looked up something and I found this story and I found it very interesting. And I thought it was possible to do in 50 hours with whatever budget I have, and uh I I got a great dialogue writer, Abdul Lee, who helped me. So I think we managed somehow. This was during COVID. We had found a church that we wanted to shoot at, but someone passed away in that street, so they had cordoned off the whole road and we didn't have that location. And um, yeah, we when you have 50 hours and you lose a location, it's very hard to like go and beg people for another location to give you. Yeah. So we we managed something. I was very proud of it then, and now when I see it, I feel I could have done better. But 50 hours, that's a lot that's like a very short amount of time. That's true. That's true. I think after doing two short films in that competition, I finally decided to make my own short film. I haven't released it anywhere, but I produced, directed, wrote, forever, and made a short film, and uh yeah, it's in my private view only. So do uh you do. Do you plan to uh ever release it to the public kids? I start cringing at everything I've done in the past. I think there's like a golden period within which you have to release what you've made when you're feeling proud of it. If you cross that window, you start cringing at what you've made and you don't want to release it. So I think I crossed that window with this one, maybe something else. So maybe another directorial debut of yours. I made a documentary also recently. Uh I just finished editing that and yeah. I I'm gonna keep doing this. This is not for public, I I really don't seek validation like that from outside. This is just for me that I do. We are very excited to see this directorial degree of yours. Uh thank you. So I have another question. Since you shared uh big screen with so many cinematic uh you know cinema stars such as Kamak Hasel, Maji Setupati, and Mahat Haser. How was it like working with them? And you worked with uh directors such as Tyaga Raj and uh Kumara Raja. How was your experience in working with them? What like what were the lessons you learned from them? I think the biggest lesson is um as women we always think that we are somehow not deserving of the space we are being given. And we feel the need to like really prove that you know, okay, maybe. But in hindsight, I realized I was big for all these movies because they thought that I'm capable. I don't know why I doubted myself. Every shoot, every person you've mentioned right now, when I was shooting with them, I was a nervous wreck, especially with Fahad. Yeah, Vijay Sadhati is still very extroverted, so he'll make the effort to come and talk and he leaves the whole atmosphere. With Fahad, he's also an introvert, I'm also an introvert, and we're like, hi, hi, hi, hi. And this is how we were shooting, and and I was such a nervous, like, I don't know if I'm doing this right, and he and I joined the project after they'd already been shooting for a while. So they've had the time and uh, you know, whatever to form a chemistry and form like a proper communication channel amongst themselves. And suddenly I show up and they're like, time at ja, time match, tuck and panga, tuck and funga, and I'm like, uh, and all that. But uh, I think the biggest lesson for me is that if I'm chosen for a uh project like this again, I have to really believe in myself. I have to believe that they've made the judgment call that I deserve this and I should really go confidently and do my best. So, you how did you like you know develop this self-confidence of yours? Like, I understand that you just answered now, but how did you develop this confidence key? Yeah, I'm gonna do this. I it's uh on and off thing. It's not always there, I have to tell you that also. I've just had a great time watching your uh culturals, I think I'm in that high. So it feels like um that not all days are like this. You've done a voiceover for the your for your character as Usha. Invisible character in the whole movie, yeah. So you know how did you how how did you manage to put your emotions out in voice acting? Since you're not since you're not like, you know, out on the screen. You can't show your expressions. How did you voice it out? Dubbing is not my photo, I'll tell you that. I prefer uh live recording. I think there's a lot of breadth, there's a lot of something that happens when you're reacting to somebody, when they're saying something, you're looking into their eyes and you're reacting to them. There's something that happens in your body which you just cannot recreate in a dubbing studio. And um so asking me to dub was itself like, sir, how did you think of me why me? But uh Partipan sir was like very hands-on. He insisted that he be inside mind dubbing studio, not with the engineer. And he's showing me how he imagines this character would have reacted. And he's telling me, and it was like uh he literally hand holding process happened uh with that. Okay, so so in future, do you plan to uh do you plan to like you know step your feet in different genres or step your feet into different industries since I figured out that uh you did web series in uh the Hindi web series and the Bengali one as well. Nice good job, Ana Research. I'm impressed. Thank you. Uh so do you plan to uh you know go into different industries? I am not someone with a plan. Whatever excites me in that moment, I do it. And uh if it doesn't excite me, I just can't get myself to do it. And I think it's very my my horizon is broader. Like it's not cinema, may I will try different genres. It's like life, may I try whatever I want. I recently got my diving certificate. I um made my documentary, then I'm go I got selected for Team India to play Ultimate Frisbee, and I got gave myself a challenge to read one book every month for one year and I did that. So I'm just doing whatever I feel like in that moment. I don't have a plan. You and I are very elected. Nice. So what would you like to say to the students of Hindustan in of Hindustan University in Celtics? Okay. You've lived, you've lived, you've gone through a lot in life, right? True. And uh us us as students, we are we are still getting to see so much. So what would you suggest to being with that? Uh hey guys, I know there's always pressure in college to know what you want from life and to start working towards it, but let me tell you, it's okay to not know. I've been clueless in college, I've been clueless in my twenties, I've been clueless in my thirties, and I'm like, I'm doing fine, I think. Um it's just I always draw this um parallel to you know how taproot plants a little bit, I'm gonna nerd out a little bit here. Yes, you know how taproots just go down and fibrous roots go uh all the way in all directions. Uh if you're the plant, it's for you, only you will know what nourishes you. If you want to go deeply into one subject and you feel that's what nourishes you, go for it. But if you think that's not for you, don't think you're a failure. Maybe you're a fibrous-rooted plant. Maybe you need to try different things to nourish yourself, then that's also okay. We'll keep that. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for having me. So nice. I'm very impressed with your research. I don't find a lot of professional interviewers who come to interview me for movies doing this much research. I'm very thank you so.