Own Your Voice: From Fear To Flow with Carly Pepin

The mic isn’t the scary part. The scary part is the story that someone else is more qualified, more seasoned, more “real” than you—and the moment you buy that story, your voice tightens, your curiosity dims, and your best insights never make it into the episode. Human behaviour specialist and international speaker Carly Pepin joins us to show how to stop handing your authority to others and start speaking from the centre of your own expertise.
We start by cutting through pay-to-play noise with a candid look at stages, ROI, and the questions that separate smart investments from costly ego boosts. Carly’s personal pivot—from refusing a pay-to-play offer to reaching 200,000 listeners by serving first—sets the tone for a practical, values-led approach to visibility. From there, we unpack why imposter syndrome spikes before big interviews or live talks, and how to neutralise it fast. The core move: identify the one person you’ve put on a pedestal, name the exact traits you think you lack, and find where those traits already live in your life, in your own form. That mental levelling turns anxiety into clarity and lets you interview as a peer, not a performer.
If your prep is full of should, need to, have to, you’re likely subordinating to someone else’s blueprint. We show you how to flip those cues into aligned choices that fit your values and serve your listener. Expect concrete tactics for podcasters and speakers: smarter guesting strategies, a parity exercise you can run in two minutes, and language tweaks that immediately calm your nervous system. We also track the ripple effects beyond the studio—how owning your authority reshapes your network, clients, and creative momentum.

Connect with Carly:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlypepin/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WestCoastGrowthAdvisors
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carly.pepin.consulting
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlympepin
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@carlypepin

Transcript

Welcome And Today’s Focus

Carl 0:04

Welcome to Communication Connection Community, the Podcasters Podcast. This podcast takes a deep dive into modern-day communication strategies in the podcasting space. We chat with interesting people who make the podcasting and speaking spaces exciting and vibrant. We also dive into the podcasting community with news, updates, latest trends and topics from this ever-evolving space. Let's dive into today's episode. One of the reasons people don't start podcasts is fear. There's fear of the unknown, there's the anxiety of time, there's the anxiety of do I have the money and the resources to do it. It all boils down to a couple things. It boils down to mindset, it boils down to education too, but it also boils down to this thing we call imposter syndrome. Well, we've talked about imposter syndrome a little bit on the show, but we are going to do a deep dive with a human behavior specialist today. Carly Pepin is an international speaker and consultant with a specialized focus on human behavior. With a global reach, she delivers the message that regardless of one's background, occupation, or origin, every individual encounters personal and professional challenges stemming from their own perceived flaws. Carly emphasizes that the key to living a fulfilling life lies in how you utilize and transform these stories. She is a podcast host. She is a sought-after podcast guest. She's a speaker, and we are so glad she's here today. Carly, welcome to the podcast.

Pay-To-Play Speaking And ROI

Carly 1:46

Thank you so much for having me, Carl. I love that we almost eat, sleep, and breathe similar things, which is speaking and wanting to be on a stage and podcasting. Three things. Was that three or four? Three things that we that we have in common. Sorry, at the recording of this, it's been a long day, and even though the days are getting shorter. So what led you? I know this conversation is going to be a lot about imposter syndrome, stage fright, and we're going to give you some tips. Carly's going to be doing most of the work. So Carly, I'm going to just set my clock and you speak. But oh, seriously, Carly's going to be doing most of the work, but what is it that led you to this world that you're in where you're helping people on their, you know, you talk about human behavior, but what is in the in the speaking world that led you to where you are? So this is a really funny story. Um, I my dad, when I was growing up, he is a producer, director, and he had his own phone company. So he's made over 180 films. Huge, right? So I come from that world and I know that you get paid to be in movies, right? That's what I know. So one of my mentors did like a biography documentary on himself, and they asked me to be in it. But then I found out when they were asking me to be in it, that I was gonna be asked to be in it and I was gonna have to pay X amount of dollars. And I just was like, I can't. I recognize this is normal in the speaking world, but I was like, I grew up in a world where like you get paid to do this, and I was like, you don't pay to be a producer, like you got paid to be a producer. And I just remember thinking, okay, they're promising me, it was like 200,000 people reach. And I thought, F it. I was like, I'm gonna reach 200,000 people and I'm not gonna pay for it. I'm gonna provide value, I'm gonna do it on my own, and I'm gonna get to that point by the time that that launches. And so that was my dedication. So I just went out and I've been, yeah, I applied for podcasts like crazy and I just started speaking. And what was perfect is by the time that his thing launched, I actually had reached over 200,000 people. And so bless his heart. I love him so much. Thank you for pushing me to get started on that. And ever since then, I've just kept going because I absolutely love speaking. Um, I adore speaking and teaching and sharing information. It's really quite inspiring.

Carl 3:56

And I definitely want to dive into that information, but what a great story, too. And and you're right, it's the world we live in where it's there are so many pay-to-play models, be it podcasts, be it, you know, come speak at my event. It only costs you $10,000 to speak at it. Which, you know what? If it's the kind of event that's going to ratchet up your business or, you know, elevate your credibility to a level that is going to pay itself in dividends later, okay, totally makes sense to me. I 100% get that. But I've also heard the other side where people have invested, I mean, $30,000, $40,000, $50,000, and we're talking 20 years ago, and got zero return from it, other than the fact that they spoke at this huge event in Vegas or whatever it was, which looks great on a resume, but zero return means you gotta come home and work harder now because you just lost your shirt.

Carly 4:50

Yeah, I've had um people give me other opportunities like that as well. And I just ask a ton of questions where that's the first thing I ask when people say, Oh, you can invest in this and you can come speak. And I'm not, I don't need to say no. If it's a great opportunity, I'll say yes. But then when I start asking questions, my first question is, What's your ticket sales at right now? And then they don't answer the question. I'm like, I'm not paying you anything. Yeah, and it's like, well, we're not sure. And I was like, Well, you probably have a number, and they refuse to share. So it's kind of just like ask questions and just get the specific details you want, and you'll probably understand if it's really authentic and gonna get you results or not.

Carl 5:28

My ticket sales are at 10.

unknown 5:30

Yeah.

Origins In Human Behaviour Work

Carl 5:31

And it's ten thousand dollars to talk, it's a thousand dollars to talk to each person, like which I mean that in itself is a model, right? So I and I completely get that. And that model, there's nothing wrong with that model. It's just you better make sure that you're getting full value for that, and it's coming back to you in some fashion. It's coming back with collecting business cards, leads, referrals, whatever it is. So, well, kudos to you for stepping into this space and enjoying it. Human behavior. This is something that we're going to dive into through the side door because one of the things that happens when you're on a stage or when you're even and I asked this question before we actually hit record, or coming on a podcast, or even hosting a podcast, is this thing about fear of public speaking or fear of speaking, period, which I get, imposter syndrome, and other things that connect to that. So, what led you to the human behavior place?

Carly 6:27

Yeah, so the human behavior dynamic, it's been um over a decade now. So I've been doing this, and it was, I was just really depressed, having a really hard time, anxiety. Thought it was Los Angeles, that was my perception. Moved out of the country to Australia, got there, just everything was quiet because all the distractions were gone, and that was it. Like I was like, everything amplified 10X. And that's when I realized it came from the inside. I found my first coach kind of on accident. And when I started working with her, we started working on human behavior dynamics, we started working on values, purpose. And within the first three months, my anxiety was shifted, my um depression was shifted, my eating disorder had shifted, my relationships were improving, like everything was just so much better. And I just I told her I was like, sign me up. I was like, this is amazing, just sign me up. And so that's when I started working with her teachers. And ever since then, I've been, you know, studying with individuals worldwide to just understand like more of the dynamics of human behavior and self-study as well. Cause so many great books out there.

Mindset, Authority, And Stuttering

Carl 7:27

And now you've you've turned this into where you're helping people master their mindset because when we talk about, and and I know this from personal experience, I told you the story before I hit record, was I used to stutter when I was younger. And that is, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go on a limb and you call you can tell me I'm wrong, which is great. I love having controversial discussions on the podcast every now and again. But that mindset is part of the reason why people have this stage fright. It might not be the cause of say stuttering, but it's certainly the mindset piece can be the trigger of the stage fright or that anxiety that is impeding them from getting on a physical stage, or in this case, even a virtual stage.

Carly 8:07

Yeah, this is cool. Also, this is fine. So stuttering actually is a mindset component. So somewhere along your journey, which is really cool, um, is there's a time when you were a child where you had other individuals where you perceive to be authority to such a great degree that it would cause you to stutter. And what's really beautiful is you've become your own authority now, and so the stutter dissipates and shifts. So I love that, by the way.

unknown 8:30

It's cool.

Carly 8:31

So it's fun to see how much our mindset and our perceptions kind of drive different things, and the same thing with our speaking and our fear of speaking. Whenever we're speaking to an audience, and even on a podcast, we were talking about this. Even though we're not sitting in front of a stage, we still know that X amount of people are listening. Sometimes we're sitting in front of an individual that is the podcaster, where it's like, oh, I perceive they're the authority. And then we get nervous because all of a sudden that's where imposter syndrome comes in. Should I be here? Am I qualified enough? And all these different dynamics in the brain noise come in. So that's when we're actually disowning our own knowledge, our own wisdom, our own unique way of describing and explaining things and our own unique way of having our own genius and wisdom to provide. And it's not meant to come in someone else's form. It's meant to come in our own.

Carl 9:20

And again, not to give away your best stuff, but how do you cut through? How do you start to cut through that noise? Because I'm assuming, or is it first the identifying? Is that like step one? Identifying it.

Identifying The Pedestal Problem

Carly 9:30

Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's cool because I want to bring up Brene Brown. She has a story in one of her books, which kind of described it perfectly. Like she was at a marketing event. And pardon me if I butcher the details a little bit, but she was at a marketing event and she was about to go on stage and she was like, What am I doing here? Because she had read like the first part of one tweet that said, Why is Brene Brown at? And then like the event, right? And she read that first part and her brain spiraled into what am I doing here? Like, I don't know marketing, I don't know XYZ. And she literally, while she's backstage, has to talk herself down and remind herself of why she's there, why she's empowered, why they hired her in her own unique form. Because she's not going out on the stage talking about marketing, she's talking about the personal development dynamic. And it was funny because as soon as she shifted that perception, she read the rest of the tweet. And it's like, let me tell you why, because she is, and it was actually promoting her art and they were excited about it. Um, so that's how caught up in our head we can get is that we are going and perceiving we don't have what it takes to actually be in front of these audiences, these individuals. We don't have that knowledge. So the first step to doing that, to actually transforming that is to first identify what you're looking at on the outside that someone else has, what qualities, what traits, what actions and actions are they taking that you perceive you're missing inside yourself, right? And then we actually go find it and identify it in our own unique form because everyone will have it in a different form. Everyone will have the same thing they see on the outside in the inside, but in their own form that's aligned with their values and purpose. And once you find that and you do it to such a degree that you have certainty that this person in front of you is now your equal, that you have that to the same degree inside yourself in your own form, all of a sudden your nervousness completely goes away. Because if someone's not above you and you're not below, what are you? You're their equal. And are you nervous around people that you feel are your equal? No. You're not nervous around people who you put yourself above, right? And so if I was talking to a bunch of, you know, infants or something, you're not going to be nervous, right? Because you haven't put them above you. You're only nervous about someone you put above. That's why we want to level a playing field. And the truth is, it's there, it's naturally inside you. So all we're doing is asking that quality question to pull out what already exists.

Carl 11:47

Is it a mental leveling of the playing field then? Because I know some of the anxiety can come from, and maybe this is where imposter syndrome comes from, too. And I want to follow up question to that, but is it the is it the thought of, oh my goodness, I'm speaking in front of a room or the people who are listening to the the podcast that I'm on, they are professionally or in their own journey, they're up far above or far advanced from where I am. Is that kind of what's going on here?

Tools To Level The Field

Carly 12:17

Yeah, that that's exactly what goes on in our head. And what's really cool is if you disconnect from just that thought for a second and ask yourself a question. I love doing this, by the way. If ever I'm nervous, this is what I do. Because I'm like, okay, who is it that I'm subordinating to? Who am I labeling as the authority? Right. And all of a sudden, it's like tunnel vision happens in your brain, and the one person will stand out. There's usually like one person in the crowd that you have on the pedestal, like the highest. And it's like, great, what do I think they have that I don't? And then you just go in and you find it in yourself. You find the unique form that you're actually doing it in. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, that makes me feel so much better. What it does is it not only levels the playing field, but it pulls forward your authentic self. So as opposed to being like, oh, in the beginning, I thought I had to speak in this certain way and talk about this certain thing because I'm subordinating to this person who does it and I think they're better. Then you level the playing field, you see your own unique form, and all of a sudden you just want to speak authentically in your way and share the information in genuinely the way you've mastered it. Not the way you thought you needed to master it, but how you've mastered it. And that's the most important thing. If there's one thing I've learned about speaking, speak about what you know, speak about what you're inspired about, and you could speak all day long, all day long.

Carl 13:39

I think that's a good message there, too. Anytime when I spent quite a bit of time in Toastmasters, and we would always tell people, speakers, we'd say, Don't talk about something you don't know. Talk about what you know, because otherwise that's where the anxiety is going to come in because you're basically just doing what we were taught in school, and that's to regurgitate information that isn't necessarily something that we have a passion or a knowledge about. It's just here's the information, right? Question about imposter syndrome what percentage of us actually have it, or do we all have some level of imposter syndrome?

Carly 14:16

We all have it. We all have it on a regular basis for our whole entire life. So if you think about it, when you were a kid, imposter syndrome would have come in on maybe some of your peers, right? Some of your peers, older brothers, older sisters, parents, teachers, individuals that we perceived were authority as kids. Then all of a sudden you get to college and now your teachers are. Um, now we have more social media. So more celebrities, more, you know, influencers are becoming those individuals where with the imposter syndrome comes in because we've made them authorities. Then you get older and now you're working. And it's like, okay, now this person, the CEO of the company, the vice president, all these individuals that you've now made an authority within the company. Now your business owner and all your friends who are doing better in business, and all these other entrepreneurs who do better. And now new imposter syndrome comes in, and then you're a speaker. And it's like we could just go on and on and on. And so, like, it's such a journey. And that's why it's like, all right, let's understand why it's coming up and let's learn how to actually work through it because you're never gonna get rid of it. And it's just noise can continue to pile up in your brain. And as I say, like that noise and that imposter, and you making someone else an authority, it's just you're giving them real estate in your mind that they're not paying for. So, like, we do the work, we get it out, and you get that real estate back.

Carl 15:32

I love it. There's a lot of real estate up there, and you know what? I don't know about you, but I can't afford to rent it out. It's mine. I I need all of this. I can't allow anything else to jump in there. But but how how easy is it for us to rent out that space, sometimes not even knowing we're doing it?

Lifelong Nature Of Imposter Syndrome

Carly 15:52

Yeah, so easy. And so this is a great way that we can catch how we know that we're actually doing it. Whenever you're shoulding yourself, when you say I should do this, I need to do this, I'm supposed to, I have to, got to, ought to, those are all subordinations. There's an outside authority there. And I love to ask the question to myself, should according to who? Supposed to according to who? And I keep asking that question until I get the person and I get the answer. Because truth be told, if it's something that's beyond that imposter syndrome, beyond that comparison, you'll say, I can't wait to do this. I love to do this, I want to do this. And just even in my coaching practice, this is one of the things that I am 100% paying attention to on a regular basis. I'm listening to the language, needs, shoulds, have to. And I train my clients on this so that they'll even catch it, where they'll say, like, I need to do this. And they'll be like, Oh, I just said need. And I'm like, you did say need, let's open that up, right? And so it's like once you clear that need, I'll ask and you clear that subordination and the imposter syndrome. I ask the question, okay. So now that we cleared that, what would you love to do? What do you want to do? And then the truth comes out, the authenticity. It's really amazing. And sometimes what's cool is sometimes it's still the same thing, but they're gonna do it authentically in their form instead of having to do it in this way that they thought they should. Wow.

Carl 17:12

Nice that's phenomenal. Is any of this or can it be stemmed from something that is historic, like something that's happened in our life? Can that authority be that rooted in us that it's hard to let go of?

Language Cues: Shoulds And Needs

Carly 17:29

Yeah, some of it just takes more work. So I wouldn't even say it's hard to let go of it. I would just say there's more work to be done, right? You know, I kind of gave you the example of my dad and getting paid to make movies and stuff. He was a big authority in my life. So it took a lot longer to do a lot more work to shift that authority dynamic. And it still pops in because it's my dad, you know, and I connect with him all the time. So, and we're close. So it still comes in, and there's still bits and pieces that I'll dive in on work on as I start to notice new things, right? Same with my mom. Like she's also like a big authority growing up, and she like comes in as an authority present day too. And that's natural. There's other individuals, there's mentors who, you know, I'll shift that level of the authority. But I see if the more time you spend with someone, the more that you are going to wind up getting them as an authority. And that's just a long-term process. If you only spend a short amount of time with someone, guess what? It'll probably be faster to shift, you know. But someone who we're engrossed with every day, every week, like you're gonna have some more work to do. Is it hard? Sometimes, yeah, sometimes it's hard, but for me, it's worth it because I'd rather live authentically and feel myself and experience myself. I only have this one life to live. And so I'd rather put in that time and effort to have that experience rather than, you know, just push it all down and be stressed out and sad and depressed, like for the rest of my life. Like that's my choice. And the work doesn't seem that hard when I really put it in perspective.

Carl 18:54

So, for folks who are looking at, for example, because this is a podcast about podcasting, and you know, we're talking quite often to guests. We're talking quite often to, and that's get you know, folks who are guests on podcasts. You're a guest right now on mine. Thank you for being here. I appreciate that. But we're also talking to hosts who have that imposter syndrome that it creeps in from time to time for whatever reason. At what point should they start doing the work? Should it happen before they start guesting on podcasts, period, or should it be a continuous process that as you're going, as these things show up, they should be addressed or both?

Deep Work And Long-Term Change

Carly 19:31

Yeah, I do suggest continuous, although not everyone does it because it's just easier to manage. And I do like it, just it makes it easier to manage because you're gonna face challenges. And so whether you work with me or anyone else, you are gonna face challenges. Like it is gonna be challenging in this business, and it's gonna be challenging to face yourself. Sometimes sit in front of someone who you are getting imposter syndrome with, and you're like, ah, like I just feel like they're more on authority than me. I can't believe I'm interviewing them. It's like, let's own that inside you. So there is that dynamic that it's gonna come up, and I suggest that because uh as opposed to just waiting last minute when shit hits the fan, you know, and then everyone's like, no, we need it. And it's like, okay, well, let's like chip away bit by bit. And the cool thing about that too is you'll wind up working on things that you know you're not gonna catch in the chaotic moments. And the chaotic moments is we'll focus on, and this is I see this with every client I've worked with in chaotic moments. I will focus solely on the chaos because that's what we're working on. And we just work on the chaos and we chip away, and then we get to the other side. But the ones that I get to work with long term, once you move beyond the chaos, we're getting some really, really, really inspiring deeper points that we work on within someone that we never would have caught if we're only focused on the loud noise. Because some of these things are so quiet and so soft and are subconscious. And when we get to them and you clear it, sometimes those are the biggest transformations. So when I think about personal development, personal development to me, it's not work, it's not a have to, it's not a need to, it's a lifestyle. And it's like this inspiring lifestyle that I get to have because every time I'm engaged in that lifestyle, I'm uncovering pieces of myself, my vision, my experience expands in the world. I expand, I feel better. And so we get all of these benefits out of doing it. And when we shift it from, oh, this is work and this is hard to like, how do I make this a lifestyle in a way that's inspiring and fulfilling for me? You give yourself the opportunity to kind of get ahead on the growth curve. And this will be unique for everyone. Like, I have a way of doing it, which I don't share just because I want you guys to figure it out for yourself. If you emulate me, you're not gonna like it. But if you figure out the way you love to do it, then you'll like it and then you'll stick with it.

Ripple Effects Across Life

Carl 21:48

It sounds like this is, as you said, this is something that is can be life altering. So it's not about work, it's not about business. And addressing some of these things, these could be things that are holding you back from the life. Lifestyle you want, the income you want, the freedom you want, the family you want, the relationships you want, the pretty much anything you want. Am I right in that assumption?

Carly 22:10

100%. And this is where all the work that you do, even working on yourself and as a podcaster, right? It's gonna spiral into all these other areas of life. So, for example, if I'm sitting here and working with someone and they're subordinating to an authority and they're interviewing some great personal development person, right? And they're totally just, oh, that's the authority and I'm gonna subordinate. Then they go and they clear that subordination and see themselves as equals. Guess what? They're gonna start attracting different friends. Maybe they're not in a relationship and they wanted to have an empowering partner. All of a sudden, that person's gonna come in because when you see yourself as that authority, when you see yourself in that light, that is what you're emulating to the world. And those are the individuals you're gonna start to connect with. Your clients start to shift. That was really interesting that I started to notice as well. I started to get more clients that were more dedicated to getting to the other side who wanted to work pretty hard, you know, and like my clients work really hard. I love working with them. And I started to attract that different dynamic because I started to see myself in a different dynamic. And so, yeah, it spirals into every area of life, which is quite inspiring, you know, to know that just you working on your podcast is gonna like trickle down.

Masterclass Invitation

Carl 23:24

And not just your podcast, but certainly in this sense, yeah, if you know working on your podcast, it's going to have that impact on other things. But even if you don't have a podcast, if you're doing the work for other reasons, it's going to have that trickle down effect, which is what you want. This is so cool. I'm glad we took the time to chat about this. You've got a great gift that you want to pass along to listeners. Talk about your masterclass.

Carly 23:48

Yeah. So with the masterclass, we dive into imposter syndrome in way greater detail. So I'll dive into all kinds of the things we talked about today. Again, in greater detail, more insights, more quality questions to ask so that you can kind of understand where it's coming from and how to overcome it. So there's a lot of detail in there. And um, yeah, just action steps that you can take to start to overcome it.

Closing Thoughts And Team Credits

Carl 24:10

Wow. And we're gonna put that link in the show notes as well as the link to Carly's website, all of her social handles. So if you want to connect with her, follow her, see all the things she's doing on the social media platforms, we'll give you the opportunity to do that. Carly, it has been such a pleasure chatting with you and learning more about this. I thought I knew everything there was to know about overcoming stage fright. You just took it to a whole different level. And I'm so glad we had that conversation. And I'm I'm it's my hope that it creates an a massive impact and shift for people who are listening today. So before I turn you loose, I'll give you the final thought.

Carly 24:51

Yeah, so the final thought is let's use Emerson. Envy is ignorance, imitation is suicide. And that's kind of what we're talking about today is that is it's ignorant to want to be someone else. And when you try to be them, it actually is killing a part of yourself. So all that we're talking about is clearing that imposter syndrome to give yourself permission to be authentically you because there's only one of you. Nobody else can take that role. So no need to hold it back forever.

Carl 25:18

Gosh, I love that. A great way to end. Thank you so much, Carly Pepin, for being my guest today.

Carly 25:23

Thanks for having me.

Carl 25:25

And hey, thank you for being a part of the show today. So glad you could join us. Believe it or not, I can't work this magic by myself. So thanks to my amazing team, our audio engineer Dom Carillo, our sonic writing genius Kenton Dobrowolski, and the person who works the arms, all of our arms actually, our project manager and my trusty assistant Julovell Tiongco, known to us here simply as July. If you like what you heard today, let us know. You can leave us a comment or review or even send us a voice note. And if you really liked it, we hope you'll share it with your friends and your colleagues. If you don't like what you heard today, well, please feel free to share with your enemies. And if you know of someone who would make a great guest on the show, let us know about it. You can get in touch with us by going to our show notes where all of our connection points are there, including the links to our website, LinkedIn, and Facebook as well. And if you're ready to be a guest on podcasts, or even start your own show, let's have a conversation. We'll show you the simplest way to get into the podcasting space and rock it. Because, after all, we're podcast solutions made simple. Catch again next time.