My name is Jessica Knight, and this is the relationship recovery podcast Today I am traveling. So I decided to take a step back and use this time to explain a little bit about what working with me looks like, especially when you work with me on narcissistic or a emotional abuse,


My business for a long time was focused on millennial life crisis. So I would help women who reached crossroad in their life when they were believing things that they might not actually believe if they had a bunch of shoulds around what they should to be doing with their time and their work. If they have a degree in something that they no longer care about or want to use, or just doesn't resonate with them anymore, if they're in relationships that they feel like they need to be in, in order to make other people happy, if they really don't know their voice. And while I love this and I still do this work and I will continue to do this work. I also work with women who are in some really toxic relationships, and this has always been a part of my business, but as I was attracting more and more clients that were in toxic relationships, I decided it would be in my best interest to get trained in narcissistic abuse, because narcissistic abuse covers all types of abuse. You know, you learn more in depth about emotional abuse. I have been in emotionally abusive relationships, plural,


And I felt like I wanted more tools to be able to support and help women in healing from something so complex You. And so if you're in a toxic relationship, a relationship with a manipulative person, if you feel like you're being gas lit, if you don't know how to leave a relationship, if you are feeling like you have no self-esteem left and the person you're with isn't helping that, Then I might be the, the right person to work with to help you move through it.


Working with me starts with a complimentary clarity call. These calls can be scheduled on my website. You can just go and find a time that's available and book it for yourself. Um, it will redirect you to a bunch of questions on where you are right now, what you're looking for, what you need, what questions you have. So that way you can write them down. And I know to address them when we talk. And the clarity call is really a way for us to just get on the same page. It is a time for you to share what's going on for me to be able to respond to you and let you know how I think I can help, how I think I might not be able to help if there's something that comes up there. Um, It's a time for me to share the roadmap of what that would look like depending on what you tell me. And it's also a time for you to ask questions. So obviously we go over the logistics of working together, but if you have any questions about what we may do or what we may talk about or what you can bring to the call or how this works, you know, anything that you have, you can come to me with,


From there, should you decide to work with me? We set up a time for a discovery session. And prior to the discovery session, I send you a document that has about 20 questions in it that are all open ended, and they're all about you. And now when we're dealing about dealing with, um, toxic relat and emotional abuse, it can sometimes feel a little bit from left field to like now be like, all right, so now dealing with all this over here, but I'm taking a pause and I'm answering all these questions about my life. It's actually really important because whether or not you choose to stay in the relationship, whether or not, you know, you know, what you wanna stay in the relationship, it really is important for me to be able to understand you coaches approach clients in a lot of various ways, the way that I choose to approach my clients is by understanding them first. And so every client that I have goes through a discovery session, because it's important for me to understand who you are, what your fears are, where you hold yourself back. The limited beliefs that you have, who is important to you, and a little bit about your journey, because without that, I'm really just coaching you from a place of kind of like what I think, you know, you should be doing rather than like really understanding who you are and helping you move through your own internal blocks.



If we're in an emotionally abusive or narcissistic abusive relationship, there's a really good chance. You don't even know who you are anymore. You may know re semblance or, you know, they might know a little bit about what's in there is still important. And for us to have this session, because we'll be able to uncover the parts of you that you miss as well. The discovery session is also a time where I will give you the time and space to really unpack more of the relationship and what's going on. So typically we do a lot of that in the clarity call, cuz that's like, what's coming up. And then when we get to the discovery session, I usually leave about a half an hour within the hour and a half call that we have to give us time to really hash out what's here and what's coming up. And then at the end of the call, I typically share a bit of a roadmap of where we may go. And so every client is different. Everybody's journey is different. And we will be again to think about what do we need to address first, depending on where you are. So for example, if, if it, if you are not safe, that's the first thing that we're going to address. If you are not mentally safe in this relationship, that is the first thing we're gonna address too.



If you are not sure if you wanna stay or go, we will work on rightsizing your reality and seeing what's actually here and what's going on right now.

Speaker 1: (06:17)
If your self-esteem, or if I could tell your self-esteem is really, really low right now that, you know, usually manifests in being unable to make decisions, being able to really articulate where you are and how you feel, maybe articulating how you feel. But then second guessing it, we will work on that. Um, but like I said, every client is different, but I will do my best to tell you what I think we might do. So that way you get it, like you kind of know what you're signing up for. And you know what the support looks like After that, we really meet you where you are. So whether or not you work with me on millennial life crisis, or if you work with me on emotional abuse, you are still the author of our calls. I might have an idea of where we should go and what we should talk about based on what is going on for you. But you are always the author. When you come to the call, you can feel free to bring anything that you want to the call. There isn't anything I have not told, talked about.

Speaker 1: (07:21)
And I really mean that, like I have talked about like the full range of the human experience. And so like, you can feel free and comfortable to come to me with whatever is coming up, whatever fears you have that are going on, and we can meet you exactly where you are and help you through what you need to go move through that day. If there is something that we had accountability pieces on and we, you know, were kind of sidestepping that because there's a bigger topic, there's other ways that you and I can communicate and we can still touch on those things. Just outside of the call,


That being said, I set up a slack channel for all of my clients. It's a private channel between me and you, so that we're able to communicate. And the communication outside of the call is usually about once a day. I can't respond as much as I'd like to, you know? And I mean, sometimes I can't like sometimes there are times where, you know, I don't have like a bunch of clients in the row in a row, or I'm able to just like, and back a bunch of messages. But like generally speaking about once a day, I will respond to you. So if stuff's coming up, you can tell me I'm here. I wanna hear it. If there are some agreements, I set up with clients that if they are working on setting more boundaries and they need to send me some screenshots of what's going on, or if they need some support, you can send it to me. These are things I wanna be able to be there for you for a lot of people don't understand emotional abuse. A lot of people will tell you what you need to do. I am not gonna do that. I'm going to meet you where you are. And so sometimes having that little support, that validation goes such a long way. When you felt like you couldn't talk to anybody before that,


I just wanna expand on that a little bit. I'm not going to tell you what to do. That's not what coaching with me looks like. That's not what coaching should look like regardless, but the only situation in which I would have a firm boundary with you is if you were unsafe, That's it


In emotional abuse, mentally speaking, you are probably unsafe, but you are physically safe. And so we would figure out kind of like where you are with that, but I will not tell you what you need to do. Unless there were like threats coming at you. You need to do whatever it is that you need to do. This is your journey. This is your battle. Not one person could tell me what to do when I was in it, they would give suggestions. They would get mad at me when I didn't follow them, but they could not tell me what to do. Cause I just didn't do it. Everybody has to go on their own journey. We're all in a trauma bond right now. If we're in an emotionally abusive relationship. So I'm not gonna tell you no contact. I will tell you no contact. If that's what you are wanting. And then we can find ways to, I can find ways to support you in that. I also will not tell you that you have to leave. That's a very, very personal decision. My goal will be to make you feel help you to feel stronger and safer. If you choose to stay with some strict boundaries,


It's in my first podcast Or my second podcast, sorry that an abuser's a change. He's not unless he's doing the work, But there are ways in which that you can change conversations around or the way that you're speaking around to make it known that you're very serious about this and that you wanna see a different kind of change. So if you are choosing to stay in the relationship, I would support you in that. I will meet you where you are. I'm not going to tell you what to do,


But I also am going to provide the most amount of support that I can for you and where you are. Like, that's always been very important to me is that you don't feel alone. When I was healing through an emotionally abusive situation, I felt like I tapped out all my friends and I also felt like people were so strong in telling me what I need to do and should be doing it just, it made me feel like I couldn't talk to anybody. I remember writing in my journal that I feel like I'm the only person who understands me. I don't want you to feel that way. Um, and, and By coming to somebody like me or somebody else that deals with emotional abuse can guarantee you, especially if they went through it, they're not gonna make you feel that way. They're gonna validate you.


I am working on a few additional ways to support people in emotionally abusive relationships. That will, it's a, it's a little bit more passive. It's not direct coaching. It's more of a video series to help you move through where you are. That's gonna take some time to come out. So in the meantime, the easiest way to work with me would be to jump on a clarity call. I also offer a one-off session. It's called the relationship recovery call. And if you need just like, you just need to kind of get through whatever thoughts you are in right now. That's a great option. It's an hour and a half. There's no commitment. I will just help you exactly where you are. If there's a need for a follow up or a second session, we can do that. It's very flexible, but it's kind of designed for the people that are really freaking stuck right now. And you don't, you can't commit fully.


The last thing I wanna say is that it is my goal to set up a fund for people that are in emotionally abusive situations. So that those who have the means can donate a little bit of money and then that money can be made public. So that way, you know, it's very clear and the people that really need coaching that don't have access to finances, whether, you know, you're dealing with financial abuse or you, you know, your husband or partner or boyfriend have a always control of the money that you're able to get some help. That is probably a few months out. But if that's something that you need, reach out to me now at Jessica Jessica Knight, coaching.com and I'll add you to a list. Thank you for listening to this today. I'm just gonna go through some of the, some of, some of the ways to get in touch with me. Instagram, Jessica night, coaching Email, Jessica Jessica night, coaching.com and to sign up for a free clarity call. You just go to my website. You click free clarity, call you book a time. If there's a time, that's that if the times don't work for you, just email me and we'll figure it out

And we'll go from there. I really hope that this was helpful And feel free to ask any questions.