090 I walked 4000 miles to see my family

In this emotional interview, Tim shares his incredible story of walking 5,000 miles across borders just to see his family.
Separated from his wife and kids for 16 years because of immigration laws and financial hardship, Tim crossed from the United States to Mexico on foot three different times... driven by love, hope, and the pain of being apart.

This powerful story exposes the human side of immigration, the heartbreak, the sacrifice, and the relentless fight to keep a family together.

If Tim’s journey moves you, please share this video to raise awareness about family separation and immigration struggles. 💔
Would you walk 5,000 miles for the people you love?

Timothy's website: https://www.familyreunitenetwork.com/
Amazon Book Stumbling in the Dark Looking for the Light Switch: https://a.co/d/7neHod0 

Transcript

A Childhood Shattered

SPEAKER_02 0:04

My real father was a pedophile. We would have our stuff stolen to be sold so it could fuel his alcohol. I've I've been working since the age of 10. I wish that I earned enough money immediately after uh high school. I was into the the boot camp for military. I had my wife and kids, they were living in Mexico. She spoke no English and I spoke no Spanish. For 16 years, 17 years, we were separated. And so I walked from Virginia to Mexico to see my daughter for the first time. I walked from uh July to October. It turns out that I was actually illegally in their country.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Timothy, why don't you start from the very, very beginning?

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Man, there there's so many things that lead us to where we are uh in the day, you know. With my childhood, my childhood wasn't the greatest. And honestly, that's the thing about me personally is that my childhood beyond before about the age of roughly nine, I actually don't remember. And maybe that's a mental block to help save my mentality, my my mind from the issues that we had. My real father was a pedophile, pled guilty to my sister. So, you know, our childhood was upended from that. After that, you know, um my adolescence uh was not as great either. Uh we it was better than being stuck in that situation. Our mother did everything she could to protect my sister, to protect us, me and my brother, from from that devastation, and she she did all she could. You know, she was the backbone of our family. She was the strength when there wasn't any, even when she didn't have strength. She was the strength that that carried us all through. But she happened to to jump into a relationship with a man that was an alcoholic, which then teenage years wasn't that great either. It happened to be a huge ordeal where, you know, screaming, fighting, loud music, we would have our stuff stolen, you know, I would have toys, you know, other things of that nature that was stolen to be sold so it could fuel his alcohol. We would pick up the aluminum cans off the street to uh help get money for the family, but we didn't have a lot of money. So there there was all types of issues throughout my childhood that, you know, uh did more damage than what I had thought. Obviously, if I can't remember before the age of eight, you know, that that says a lot in itself. And then, you know, having an alcoholic stepfather with all those issues and and all those problems. I've I've been working since the age of ten. So I've been I was when I was starting work, I was doing mowing lawns, washing cars, walking dogs, cleaning out home. Everything that I could to kind of help our family out be able to eat and survive, you know. So it wasn't it wasn't forced upon me uh by any means. It was it's something that was inside me, I guess, that said, I want to help my mom out as much as I possibly can, and that was the the best way that I knew how.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

The person that you're supposed to like rely on and trust and you know, kind of be such a huge disappointment in that sense. And I'm sort of curious as to before all of you guys that your dad was kind of doing all of this stuff, at least your sister he pled guilty. How did it come out to the family the very first time?

Surviving Adolescence and Working Early

SPEAKER_02 4:00

I I honestly don't know. Really, honestly do not remember. I remember a little bit of the court dates, the stuff that happened after the the fact when when everything really started to to go in through. Honestly, my mind is is a blank. When people say, What was your childhood like? Where were you? How was it? That is one of the the most difficult things, although at the same time, it's also possibly why I'm in a better situation than what my brother and sister is right now. I'm not all put together, you know. But my sister, when she was younger, she was in and out of psych facilities and things of that nature. My brother, it became self-sustained. He didn't he didn't talk about his feelings. It really affected him as well, but in in a different sense. So um there's a lot that I don't know about. And unfortunately, my mother has passed now, so even if I was to like say, okay, I want to find out some information, what was it like? How did it happen? Those answers are no longer there. My real father is still alive, but it's not something that I want to discuss with he about at all, whatsoever.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

What is your relationship with your siblings like? And how much do they kind of remember having to be?

SPEAKER_02 5:19

No, we our our relationship is strained. My brother doesn't really like to talk whatsoever. I talked to him maybe on Christmas or around that time and around his birthday. I would stop by when I was in America when I was there, I would stop by his work, you know, and see him for a short moment or two. My sister, she has her own issues even to this point in time. She does still talk to me or communicate with me through social media. So our our communication is little to none. The thing, the biggest thing for me is that I wish that I could help them. I wish that I earned enough money that I could say, okay, my brother, here here's the money. This is what's gonna help you. We're gonna clean your slate, pay off your bills, my sister, hey, what do you need? What can we do for you? But I don't even I don't even have that capabilities of barely feeding myself and my family, let alone anything else. So because of our our lifestyle and how we were in our our our poor poor situation, it's one of those things where I happen to not be able to afford those type of things to be able to help the way I would like to help. I really do wish I could do more.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

It sounds like you remember more about your teenage years. What was that like for you, you know, going to school, making friends, having role models, having males around? Did you kind of feel like a lack of trust in men?

Fragmented Family Ties

SPEAKER_02 6:50

I was known by everybody, but known by nobody. I was always the one that was bullied or teased in schools. I went to four or five different elementary schools. My real father was military. So my brother, born California, I was born Ohio, my sister Rhode Island. No, there wasn't a solid, okay, this is where we're living. We've lived here for 20 years now, and all that. I went to two different middle school or junior high schools. I was able to attend one high school, and that's really where I was, but I was not involved in the school whatsoever. I never got involved, I was always working, so it wasn't like I had free time to just go hang out with people, even if I wanted to. There was a place um called Game Masters that was a very big part of my adolescence. I had my escape from my reality in that place. I was the one that would sit more up front towards the class than the back of the class. I was the one that would be, you know, more quiet than anybody. I would not interact with people. I had my own worries at home, you know, couldn't bring friends home, things of that nature, even if I made friends. There's certain schools that have certain cliques, you know, certain types of people, the popular kids, the the the goth kids, the the Christians, the you know, uh so we had all those clicks and stuff, and I knew somebody from each different click, you know. I I knew everybody, and everybody knew me, but they didn't know me. Right immediately after uh high school, I was into the the boot camp for military. I enjoyed the the people there, but because of my issues from my childhood, they actually caught up to me while I was in the military. And I actually was supposed to um be in there for a lot longer than what I was supposed to be. So I went in in the year 2000 and I got out at year 2002. I really didn't realize how much my stepfather had affected my life until a military buddy and I, he went to go into another state overnight. So he needs somebody to drive with him. So um, but there was a song that had came on the radio uh that really struck a chord with me for some reason. And it came out of the blue. I didn't realize it uh at the time, but I just started bawling. It was one of those loud songs that my my stepfather would play, and he asked me if if I wanted him to change it. And I said, no, let's let it play three. I didn't understand what was going on, but that was kind of the start of the downfall of of my military career. I didn't realize how much I was affected by things. From the bad comes the good. And honestly, the thing is, is that I would have never been in the the movie theater to meet my wife where that took place. That that was one of the best things and one of the most stressful things that has happened to me in my life.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

So people say that in the healing journey it's important to tap into some of the hardest times that you know you've experienced and sort of like learn to communicate with that inner child and forgive and kind of move on, because if you live with that memory either repressed or that memory kind of not allowing it to resurface, then you're not really giving your body and your mind a chance to sort of really, you know, dig deep and come out of it in a healthy way that kind of your body and your mind needs. Was that the first time that you told someone about what was the trigger and what what had really been going on in your life? Would you say that that was the very first time you'd shared it?

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Probably. I still I'd never really have talked openly about my my uh real father, you know, because again, not the memory of it, my stepfather. Uh that was probably one of the first times that really things just kind of flooded out, uh to say. And we're actually still good friends to this day. We still reach out to each other even now. But yeah, it was probably one of the first times that I actually kind of confronted it, tried to deal with it as best as I could. When I was in the military, they have therapy sessions and things that nature to try to figure out what what it is and all that stuff. Because I was having back issues, you know, I've never had back issues, but back spasms and things that nature. I never ri connected the dots with the psychological portion of that, how your body reacts under stress and under anxiety and and all that stuff, and it's it's it's a different different levels of how you deal with things that how your body responds to to the stress levels, you know. It's our bodies react in so many different ways to the stresses of what is presented to us. And so, you know, dealing with the life and the way it was, you know, I never focused on it. I was always focused in on work. As they say, busy hands keep you from getting into trouble, and that's kind of what it was. My hands were digging for the the work that I was doing constantly, just constantly cycling the jobs and not really focused in on the trauma that I that I was living through.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Can you walk me through how did sort of this military thing come to an end and sort of how you met your wife? Because that's it that's such an beautiful story of its own.

School, Isolation, and Escape

Military Service And Hidden Trauma

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Absolutely. So it was 2002, so this was after September 11th attacks. I was in during the time of that. So that really had a great effect on a lot of people. You know, um, my job dealt with war. I was a Ford observer for the field artillery. So that's where you look for the enemy while the enemy's looking for you, and you call the artillery to tell them to blow them up. That's what my job was in the military. And I never got to actually do my job. I was part of a headquarters headquarters battery. About six months after I finally got out. My wife, we met end of 2006, beginning of 2007, and that's where our our story started. I happened to move back to Virginia to help assist my mom. Tried to help support her in any way that she needed because she was having issues living with my sister, you know, during that time and stuff. My mom was diabetic, was having cataracts, she's had strokes, she had a triple bypass. She's had so many issues. It actually came down to where at the end of her life they were starting to have to amputate her legs a piece at a time. So I'm in America, in Virginia, and I'm working uh at a movie theater, and my wife happens to come and she's working there as an overnight crew now. So to to give you an idea, she is Mexican. She's working in the movie theater, she works there overnight as a cleaning crew. I worked there during the day, and it was one of those things because she spoke no English and I spoke no Spanish. So actually, our very first date, she actually had a friend of a friend come along to translate for us. So it was something um she had two kids in in Mexico that she was trying to earn money to try to help her kids out. Her boy, he has cerebral palsy. In Mexico, you're not given many opportunities to live life. And um there's not much that you can do for earnings, and not much you can do for the health of a sick child like that. But they did have a class that would help teach her, and she would take those lessons basically back home and help the child out if she could. So she actually had to have herself, her sister, and her mother work on this child all at once. One working the arms, one working the legs, one working the head. So basically helping the motor functions of this child. And so that she came to America to to do that the work and to to attempt to support them and and you know give them that proper life. And um, it just happened to be that she was there working overnights in the theater. I was working during the days, I was always there. I was at night when we are looking to close. There was one time she showed up like three, four hours prior to us even closing. I didn't know what she was doing or why she was there, but in my mind, I'm like, what is this woman doing here? She's crazy. And I and I said the word just in passing, I said, You're local, why are you here so early? And I just kept on going to do my work, not realizing that to them, when you call them crazy, they're gonna show you crazy. They take very offense to being called crazy, and and um, and so it's because she couldn't speak to me, she really wanted to cuss me out. So she actually took like a week or two to try to learn English to cuss me out. And so the one time that she actually finally started to talk to me, the only thing she could really do was ask me my name. And from that, I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna take a chance. I want to know who she is, more about her. And so I brought this dictionary with me and just went word by word, single word at a time, and we figured it took us about two hours, but we figured out like four different things about each other, you know, what our age was, what our relationship status was, whether or not we had kids, and like the phone number to call each other. It's astronomical for for us to be able to be there and have that moment. So it was very unique, and it's something that has given me the fortitude to be able to push myself beyond all normal measures. And so we started a relationship, she became pregnant at seven months' pregnancy. Her mother found out she was pregnant and didn't like that idea, and so what took place at that point in time, her mother calls up and says, Look, I'm not gonna watch your children anymore. You gotta figure out what you're gonna do. And so we did the only thing that we knew, which was to put her on the next bus back. Those kids had to come first, even though she was seven months pregnant, and so um that's how we got separated. And for 16 years, 17 years, that's what it was. We were separated for that long. And this is again where you know, those things you question whether you've made the right choice. What steps could I have taken? But the thing is, if you look at what you should have done and you're not looking forward, all you're gonna do is trip over what's in front of you. You know, I should have done this, I could have done this, I would have done this, if this only happened, if this only took place, those things will stop you from living your life. Those those moments will will prevent you from looking at the possibility of what is in front of you. I'm here in Mexico now, but it it took years upon years to do that. My and a lot of a lot of missteps, a lot of issues, a lot of problems.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

What were the main sort of reasons for why you weren't able to go to Mexico at those in those years? Was it job and work or was it visa-related?

SPEAKER_02 19:08

A combination of things. So what took place for us was immigration, finances. I don't have, you know, any of the financial stability that's needed. I was completely ignorant to how immigration works and and didn't understand the the steps that it took for for it. I don't agree with illegal immigration. I don't agree with it. People are paying these people to get them across illegally. The same amount, they're paying them the same amount as if it was to get them here legally. The only difference really is what boils down to is that you have one person telling you, I'm gonna get you across no matter what, because if they don't get them across, then they don't get their money. Then you have another person telling you, I'll get you across, but if I can't get you across, then we're gonna have to start from the beginning and you're gonna have to repay everything and then go through the process again, and and you're looking at years and years and years of being separated from family, and the these moments that mattered. I missed my daughter's first steps, her first words, her her her first birthday. I missed all of that, and that's stuff you cannot get back. So I understand the the plight of the people wanting to come and and build a better life for themselves. Immigration was the one thing that kept us apart. So during 2008, we'll go to the recession time period, and during this time period it was hard for a lot of people. I was working for BMW at the time. I had finished my degree in 2007. I was working for Target, I was working two jobs. I was taking care of my mother in America, making sure our rent was paid, making sure all the bills were taken care of, and then I had my wife and kids, they were living in Mexico, and I was taking care of them.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

So I was taking care of sorry, were you married at that point as well? Like had you already gotten married at that point?

SPEAKER_02 21:06

So by by legal standards, no. It wasn't until 2010 that we were officially married. And people say, Well, if you're married, can't she just come? And that's a lot of misnomic that a lot of people don't see or understand. It's not if, oh, once you're married, she's automatically able to come. You still have to file papers, you still have to show proof that you can support them. During that time, I was making enough money to help support them. And I this was in my infancy of immigration. I still had no idea what immigration was. I was working 80 hours a week. I wasn't it wasn't like, oh, I have free time, I can go look at a book, I can go do this and go do that. It was just work, have maybe maybe four hours of time to myself sometimes in the day. You know, it just depends. And during the time though, I had gotten laid off from my BMW job. So at this point in time, I'm like, so what am I supposed to do? I was taking care of all these bills, I just lost my job. Now I'm not able to pay these bills, I'm not able to take care of this situation. My daughter was already over a year old at that time, and I still did not get to see her. You know, um, one of the things that forced my hands into what I did was she was severely sick. And even at that point in time, I couldn't really talk to my wife. We we had better conversations, we could still communicate better than what we first started out as, but it was one of those things where our communication wasn't great, especially when it comes down to finances as well as medical issues. I happened to call a friend up in Texas, he was from Mexico. So I called him, I said, Hey, can you call my wife? Find out what's going on, because the only word that I could understand was appendix. That's what I understood from my wife. And when you talk the appendix, that's a severe issue, especially when you're talking about a year old. And so the issue there was that when she happened to be she got sick, they tried to treat her sickness, my child's sickness, and she became worse. And come to find out she was actually allergic to penicillin. So that's what actually made her appendix swell. Once they got that taken care of, then you know, she was okay. But it was at that point in time I have no money for a bus ticket. I have no money for a plane ticket, I have nothing. And so at that very point in time, I'm like, the only thing that I that was free to me, which was walking. And so I walked from Virginia to Mexico to see my daughter for the first time.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Virginia to Mexico. Can you tell me how many miles is that?

Meeting His Future Wife

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Four thousand miles. Oh my god. Four or five thousand miles, all the way to where well we live in Acapulco, Mexico. So that's all the way down south on the the west coast side of Mexico, right kind of where it bends, is right where Acapulco is. And that's wh my whole intention really was to walk even through Mexico. It wasn't really until I got to Amarillo, Texas, um, where I was at after the military and everything, and I was staying on a friend's couch there during that time, and the news popped up, and they stated how dangerous Mexico was, and that they advised Americans not to travel through Mexico. I'm like, I'm already made it this far. What am I supposed to do now? I'm gonna walk through Mexico now. So I had to do a little research and stuff. Unfortunately, I don't know why during the time um Greyhound ran throughout the country during that time, but you could not buy a ticket from uh Amarillo to get down to all the way down to Acapulco. You actually had to get to the border of like El Paso, right on the border, and then you could buy a ticket that would get you all the way down to Acapulco. So I had basically walked the rest of the way to the bus station there and was able to pick up a bus and get myself the rest of the way to to Acapulco. In all reality, as much as I don't agree with illegal immigration, it turns out that I was actually illegally in their country for the first time. I had no clue, not for the first month. You're supposed to get a visa, a tourist visa, and that gives you that gives you six months of stay time. And I wasn't aware of all of that. So when I got on the bus, I don't know how I got through, but I got through and I was able to go all the way to Acapulco. It wasn't until a month later that I realized, oh, I'm supposed to have this visa. We had to go to the immigration and and deal with all that during that time. But I was able to hold my daughter for the first time, and that's that's what mattered.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah. I'm curious, I I do want to talk a little bit more about the journey to start off with. How did you prepare yourself? What did you choose to carry with you?

SPEAKER_02 26:00

My my life prepared me for this moment. The military, you know, walk and you run and you do all these things and and your body builds you for it. So doing all that, that kind of prepared me for that. But actually, the first initial walk that I had done actually had failed. I went out and I walked from Virginia Beach to Chesapeake, Virginia. It's just one city basically over. Um I had a little luggage cart, one of those little luggage carts that's foldable that you carry with you in the airport so you can carry your your luggage through the airport. I had a luggage attached to that, and that actually failed. I tried, you know, but I'm like, you know, this failed. Now what do I do? So I took about a week. I regrouped, I grabbed my military duffel bag, I made a little cord with two cliff hooks and some 550 parachute cord, and so that way it would alleviate some of the stress on my shoulders. But I went ahead and filled my military duffel bag and carried that with me for the rest of the way for the first time. That was the first trip. I've actually walked the country three times.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

That is a huge feat. I don't think there's many people out there in the world that has done anything like this. Like you would have reach out to some news channels and told them that you did this, like that would be for a story, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Uh you know, and that's the thing is that I will hope one day that maybe my voice will be heard. I'm hoping for is is to be able to to be maybe an inspiration for somebody else and say, you know what, if he can do this, I can do this.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

How many days did it take you? Like how long did it take you to get there?

SPEAKER_02 28:24

So I walked from yeah, I walked from uh July to October. Took me four months to to do my second walk. And I on that second walk I was walking with a a rickshaw cart, what they call a rickshaw cart. It was basically uh a dolly, a dolly that you would carry boxes with and stuff. You see these Coca-Cola and all that stuff. And then I had a three-foot by three-foot cargo box attached to the dolly that I pulled behind me with a one of those harnesses that people happen to hang off the side of buildings to clean the windows with and stuff. Yes. I created that system where the harness would help pull the weight. The the first walk really taught me about my second walk. When it starts to downpour rain, you're just stuck in it. There is no, oh, I'm gonna go inside to to get out of the rain. You know, so my first walk taught me about my second walk. And my second walk was more so it was about two two reasons why I did it. One was to raise awareness about families being separated and having all those things.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

Just just to kind of delve a little bit more into the journey, the w that very first walk, if you can just walk me through, how did you sort of go? You mentioned it was like about four four months. That was exactly so. I'm guessing the first one might have been even longer, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Well, honestly, it was actually faster, a lot faster.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:50

But so to to get into the the first walk, what really took place with that was that I had no clue. I had a destination. This is where I need to be, this is how I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna walk. There was a little bit of planning because again, you didn't have the GPS like you do now. Again, uh a man of no money, I don't have access to those expensive phones at that time. So I went to MapQuest. This was before Google Maps.

unknown 30:20

Right.

Separation, Immigration, And Recession

SPEAKER_02 30:20

I went to MapQuest and I printed out my my route. I printed it out and said, okay, this is the route that I need to take. Okay, how am I gonna get there? And and so I basically printed out sheet by sheet, you know, and and and had an idea of where I was going. And the thing is that people would pick me up and and help me get around faster, mostly usually police officers. They're like, I want you in my town. So honestly, they were being nice and helpful, but they're like, I can get you out of my town, I can get you to the county line of my my district, you know, and and then drop you off and you continue on your way. Any little bit of help helped, you know, any little bit of support like that helped me. During that time, I made it still lost in essence of where I was headed because I had a certain route. This is where I was going. But when somebody picks you up, they're like, Oh, I know a better route for you, you should go here. And then you're You're at their free will. You know, at that point in time, you're kind of like just along for the eye. So they would drop you off, and then I'd be way off the the map that I originally printed. I'm like, okay, now what do I do? How do I go to this location or this place? So they might have given me like$20 or something. I would go to the local gas station and pick up a uh pick up a local map to kind of find my way back to where I needed to be. So and that happened multiple times with police picking me up, with you know, um people picking me up. So it actually took me about two weeks to get where I needed to be. Now the bus took about three days or so to get from the border all the way to Acapulco, and even still, man, I didn't know Spanish really well at that time either. And I actually had I was told to stay on the bus, but it actually took me into the opposite direction of where I was going uh to Acapulco, so I had to stay there for a while before I could get onto the next bus.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

And how were you sort of like financing in terms of like where you were staying and your food, like where were you sleeping in those days?

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Outside. Outside. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

So you you're really, really like vulnerable in a sense to being robbed, being you know, hurt, being Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

So what I would be is I would not walk during the night. For me, it was a no-no because I wanted to make sure that I was visible. So sun goes down, I go down. Sun comes up, I get up. So when I left, the very first time I left, it was in February. So we're talking freezing weather. There was one time where I woke up and my feet literally felt like I was walking on blocks of ice, like I could not feel my feet whatsoever. I did have a a uh a sleeping bag that I would rest on and I would try to cover myself up, things of that nature. I would use the military duffel bag as a pillow, but yeah, during the first walk it happened to be that where I would rest is just off on the side of the road and and uh that would be it. The second walk taught me about the first walk, and I had uh the dolly in the box created it to where the the lid would open up and would give me space to be able to sleep, not directly on the ground and stuff. So, you know, I would use that box as as my shelter um and and things of that nature. I was fortunate for the help that I did get. I was able to to get a bus ticket, you know, that got me to to see my wife and kids.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Was there at any point, did you actually find yourself in danger?

SPEAKER_02 34:04

There there were uh sometimes there was more of the police that tried to warn me about things, especially going through Memphis and Nashville. Those were the two areas that were the worst in crime and things of that nature, that the police were really concerned for my safety and telling me to try to move. Usually what I would do is my whole goal was I would walk for at least 12 hours a day and I would clear at least 25 miles a day. So, you know, I would make sure either I would be walking through the town and be on the basically at the other end of the town, or if it was getting really late, I would stop right before the town and then stop there. So I wouldn't be in a a city or a town or something along those lines where I wouldn't be bothering people or people wouldn't be bothering me. Uh, there was in New Mexico, there was actually a sign that said, keep your kids and pets close, wolves in the area. You know, I'm like, yeah, what happens if I actually happen to get into something like that? Um, so there was there I had a tornado that had touched down a mile off of my path. I actually had hunkered down. That was one day that I did hunker down in a in a hotel, and I'm fortunate, very fortunate, because as I uh it was a huge storm, torrential downpour rain, everything, and um I happened to stay in this hotel. But as I was walking the next day, I heard that there was a tornado touchdown literally a mile off the path of what I was walking. If I was in the middle of a storm, there were several times that there were heavy downpour rains and stuff in storms. So what I would do is I would basically crawl inside the box. The box was only three foot by three foot. I'm a six-foot person, so you have to imagine. But I would cram myself into this box, close the lid, and hang on for dear life, you know, hoping, you know, that I'd ride out the storm in the box.

SPEAKER_01 36:05

I just can't even like picture how this must have kind of like looked. But do you feel like even in terms of some of the the the people that you met that helped you along the way, the conversations that you had with some people, you know, even some of the beautiful sceneries and sites that you kind of saw, like can you walk talk to me about some of those?

The Decision To Walk To Mexico

SPEAKER_02 36:23

Absolutely. You know, there was um oh a woman by the name of Karen Niles. She was going through cancer treatments and stuff, and she was on remission during the time, but she was saying that it was just starting to come back and that she was starting to have to go through these treatments, and um, she was getting these meal tickets and things of that nature, and she had brought in me some some food and and shared her story with me. And I'm like, she's going through all of this, and yet she's still kind enough to to bring me some food, even though in the midst of what she was going through, and keeping up, I did it wasn't until years later, but learning of her, she had actually passed due to the cancer. Um, I had one other person that followed me all the way from not physically followed me, but had followed me kind of all the way throughout my trip, and he's actually the reason why I was able to get back on my second trip called his name was David Cook. And I actually in my book I have a whole chapter on him, but he was my my main support in essence for my trip walking all the way from Virginia to California, and he is the reason why I was able to get back as quickly as I was back to Virginia and then go see my daughter for her third birthday. That was my whole second trip. The third birthday and the teenth birthday are like the most important birthdays, and so I made it a point that I would make it no matter what to see her third birthday, and so I was able to do that. I did make it all the way to California, but by the time I got to California, my body was torn apart. I mean, my legs were rubbed raw, I had blisters on my feet, everything was falling apart, and so I actually had made a decision. I had to call my wife and say, Look, I'm I've made it this far. You know, basically I had cut the trip on my initial plan to cut it short. I I made it to California, and I was gonna make it all the way to San Diego, California. But I was right at a point of right on the border of Arizona and California, and I called up my wife. My body was burnt, beaten, bloody, all of that stuff. This was in the summer months, so the hottest you could imagine it was there, and so you know, first trip winter, second trip summer. Not good choices. I went ahead and I stopped there. There were so many people that did treat me with kindness and stuff. Um, many people didn't understand why I was doing what I was doing. Now I had a big box on the back, and it would say, What would you do on the back and the top of it? So when it's lifted up, you could still see the message. On the sides, I actually had a an image of my family, about three or four different images on the side of the box, and it said, Have you seen this family at the top? Like a a missing, you know, missing person, have you seen this family? And on the bottom of it, I said, Neither have I. And so it was the the reference of, you know, have you seen this family? And so it was my attempt to to relay a message to people to say, This is the family, this is what I'm missing. Some people would take it as an an actual, how are they missing? What happened to them? People were questioning things. I I didn't get a chance to bring them to America, and this was in 2010 when I did that walk. So my my youngest would have been three at the time, obviously. She was just turning three. My second child would have been six, and my oldest child would have been nine. Still young enough to get them to come to America and and start their lives in America and do all of that. And but I I didn't get enough my and so I did everything that I could, and I'm still doing everything I can. I'm forty-five years old, I'm about to have a child, and I have forty-two days to make a difference for this child, and that's what I'm trying to do right now. Every single step of the way, every single day, uh I am pushing myself. So the thing is that I was never there for my child when she was growing up. Right now, everything is completely new to me. My wife left at seven months' pregnancy, and I never got to see any of that pot type of life from seven months pregnancy all the way up to a year and four months old. You know, so I I missed all of that. And those kids needed me, and I missed their lives so much, and it wasn't a choice that I made easily. I'm very blessed for for the woman that I call my wife, because not a lot of women can can put up with that. You know, there's she is the the reason why the kids respect me the way they do. It was because of her that that I have the presence in their life even though I wasn't present. Due to immigration, due to distance, be due to the financial situations. I I was earning money, but it wasn't enough to sponsor my family to come to America. And and because of that, you know, they were having to stay in Mexico. And eventually they grew up. You know, their roots became Mexico and their dreams no longer entailed coming to America.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

I mean, it really is such an inspirational story, Nick, for for a third person listening to it, hearing, you know, the kind of links that you went through, quite literally, for to be able to meet your family. Um curious, what was your wife's reaction when you kind of showed up for the very first time when you saw her and your child?

First Walk: Failures And Fixes

SPEAKER_02 42:13

She initially, almost every single time, she would leave the kids at home. So I would get to the home and then see them, and and they were waiting on me when I got home. It was just she was so, so happy to to see me with open arms, you know. And every single time that we had to part, it was one of the most difficult things because we didn't know the next time that we would see each other. And sometimes it would be years. We don't like how we have video calls now and stuff back at that time, it wasn't there. They didn't have the the they these things, you know, Skype and all that, you know, uh wasn't really there. And if it was there, I didn't have access to it because of lack of funds. So, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, when you're a poor man, you don't really have the advantage of of or the luxury of just being able to to pick up a phone or or to know where you're going, you know, things of that nature. I can make all the excuses in the world for things, you know, but money speaks volumes in this world. And uh it opens doors that could have been closed to you. Um, but if I had an actual team of supporters that said, you know what, we'll follow you, we'll we'll make sure you get there, that's the whole whole thing, is that I I would love to to still spread the message uh and the importance of family and the the unity and and what it what it means to family. There are those statistics out there that because of my life and what I've lived through, a pedophile father, an alcoholic stepfather, those situations should have demanded me to be in the the realm of having addictions. And I've been blessed. Like I said, my busy hands have kind of kept me from falling into those traps. I really do believe that.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

And and even for someone who's who's only had broken families, to kind of have such a strong will to make a family, pull a family together and to be that kind of role model of a father. It's hard when you didn't have that kind of role model yourself. I was also curious to ask you about your daughter now, who's probably turned you mentioned about 18. What was that like for her now that she can kind of comprehend and understand things? How's that been sort of telling her that this is the kind of lengths that you went through for her to be there for her?

Second And Third Cross-Country Walks

SPEAKER_02 44:44

I wish you understood that. Honestly, that's the hardest thing right now is that she doesn't understand, even to this point in time, she she doesn't understand the lengths that I've gone to. And I've been trying to figure that out how how to discuss this with her because she doesn't speak English. Even now, our our relationship is strained. She's going to a university for being uh becoming a nurse right now. And we've we've been trying to put her through school for that, and because of my wife and stuff, we've been able to deal with that. How do I share this story with her? How do I tell her these things? Um, her relationship with me is strained. You know, she she doesn't understand the reasons I wasn't there when when she needed me. You know, she doesn't understand what I was doing. I don't know how much she knows, okay, or how much difficulty she knows. But for almost seven, for the almost seven years of of this past life, so since she was 10, I've been living out of a car in in America. I was working, I was putting my wife through school. She was going to cosmetology, I was taking care of the kids, I was making sure that they had what they needed. So I did everything that I could for the seven years. I gave every penny that I could could without making a car payment and making gas paint, you know, gas in the car and all that stuff, and making sure that the car was operational and running and doing all those things. Even still on my car, I had an advertisement on my car that uh that promoted my website. You know, I don't think she understands the amount that I went through to to attempt to make sure that she had the life she needed, even though I wasn't physically there for her, and I wished I was. There's so much that took place. I actually had to, she had an issue and got involved with an older person here in Mexico, and I had to get them separated. And so I came here to Mexico for a trip. I was here for a week because I had a week's vacation from work, and so I told her, okay, I wanted to see how serious the situation was. She was talking, and this she was uh 14 at the time. She was talking about going to Tijuana with this person. No, no, not gonna happen. So once I saw the seriousness and what level she was at, before I had even came to back to Mexico to see her, I had told my wife, you're gonna pick up a ticket for yourself and our daughter to go to Cancun. She has an aunt that lives in Cancun. And I said, We might not need the ticket, but just in case, I want it ready. So that way, as soon as we make the decision of what's gonna take place, she's on on the next plane out to go to live with her aunt and continue her school there. And she actually got to finish school about a year early because of that. You know, it's the same thing with my son. My son had issues. I found out later on, but he happened to have an issue where my son happened to be going to school. He was given a drink, an alcoholic drink, a beer, which is common for them to be drinking in Mexico and stuff, but they had slipped something into that drink. Now he has cerebral palsy, so the effects on a regular human was ten times the amount on him. And so immediately once that took place, we picked him up out of that school and put him into a new school, a better school or whatnot, and he was able to finish school early. All my kids was able to graduate from from regular school. My because of me being in America, because of the years that I lived in America, because of the years that I was earning money in America. See, people don't understand. Also, in Mexico, like right now, working a full day's worth of work here in Mexico, you earn ten dollars for the entire day. Not one hour, one day. You know, where in America, if you work for one hour, you're gonna get ten dollars. Yeah, it's a huge difference. And so me being in America gave that opportunity to pick up my my child, my boy, and put him into another school. It gave me the opportunity to buy that plane ticket and say, okay, you're going to Cancun to finish your education. Well, I'm not gonna let you go to Tijuana and and do all these, have all this issue where in Tijuana there's a huge prostitution and where women get severely. And this is what I saw. And this is not what my daughter saw. She didn't saw freedom. When I went to Cancun for her graduation, I came here. I was able to see her graduation in Cancun and then bring her back to Acapulco with us so that she could live with us and and be able to spend time with me, which is what initially that's what I wanted for her. I wanted her to be able to to live and to be able to learn who I was and me learn who she is, but the relationship is broken.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

I really, really, really do hope that it it kind of at some point resonates with your daughter as well. She's she's still quite young, and I think you know, it takes maybe some time to kind of hit a certain level of maturity. And as soon as as soon as the other person is like open to listening to it, you know, things will change. And I and I really hope that she kind of does kind of come around and and see that story that I think the rest of the world is starting to hear today. But final final plugins, Timothy. Tell us about your book, tell us about your business. Please do share that with us.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

Well, to to talk about the book, and actually what you say right there, you know, the thing is we have a language barrier, Spanish-English language barrier. And so I don't know if you've gotten to visit my website yet, the family reunite network.com, but those have blogs on there of who I am, of the stories that I want to share, of the knowledge that I have, the experiences that I've had through the struggles of who we become. The book is also that it's to share the story of my three walks, and it's to share the story of how I met my wife and kids. It's to share the knowledge that I have been exposed to, and that I may put it upon others, that they can learn a lesson and maybe be inspired to be more than what they are right now. But that book is also for my kids, so that even when I can no longer breathe, they can go back, even though they might only know Spanish, that they can go and use the technology to be able to go and translate. I am actually working on a second book as well called uh Stumbling in the Dark Looking for the Light Switch, but this one is going to be under genetic predisposition. Basically, a nature versus nurture. So who are we as people? What is it? You know, my real father was a pedophile, but I have his genes, but does that make me him? You know, it doesn't. And so it's that nature. I have the same hairstyle, I have the same eye color, but what makes me him and what makes me me? The nature versus nurture, genetic predisposition, it's what makes us. And so, you know, the stumbling in the dark, looking for the light switch, it's it's what we all do. We're we're looking for that pathway that says, you know, and that light switch that says, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is where I'm supposed to be at right now. That's what that title drives from is that stumbling in the dark. You know, we don't know where we're headed, but we're looking for that aha moment. This is where I'm supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 52:33

Wow. Timothy, thank you so much for sharing your story and being vulnerable over here. I feel like there's so much we can take away from your journey, and I feel like our listeners are gonna have so much inspiration just like I am right now. So thank you once again.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

The one final thing I do have to say is just love your family. Hold on to them. You know, every single moment matters. You know, we don't understand sometimes how much it means, but just that getting up and making breakfast, making the bed, it seems like a simple task, but it's those little moments that make all the difference in the world for your your family, for your kids, and for your spouses.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

If you enjoyed the episode and would like to help support the show, please follow and subscribe. You can rate and review your feedback on any of our platforms listed in the description. I'd like to recognize our guests who are vulnerable and open to share their life experiences with us. Thank you for showing us we're human. Also, a thank you to our team who worked so hard behind the scenes to make it happen. Stefan Menzel. Lucas, Piri. The show would be nothing without you. I'm Jenica, host and writer of the show, and you're listening to Multispective.