Episode #61: How to Be a Better Leader in 2023 by Listening More and Speaking Less
Welcome to THE CAREER ACCELERATOR, the podcast where corporate managers will find tips and tools to deliver results through others.
Today I will provide three benefits of listening more and speaking less.
I’m your host, Percy Cannon.
In our last episode I invited you to become a better leader by influencing others. To do so, I asked you to choose one or more of the five principles outlined in The Go-Giver Influencer book, written by my friend Bob Burg and John David Mann:
1. Improve how you FRAME, and potentially REFRAME, your discussions,
2. STEP into the other person’s shoes. Focus on “What’s in it for them,”
3. LET GO OF HAVING TO BE RIGHT,
4. MASTER your emotions. Think before you talk, and
5. COMMUNICATE WITH TACT AND EMPATHY. Above all, be gracious.
Switching to today’s topic, “Listening More and Speaking Less,” let me share tips to be used with the three audiences with whom you interact with the most at work:
1. With your bosses, more than with any other work audience, make it a habit to start your interactions by asking for their feedback on your performance. You can ask for general opinions, or you can seek specific input on a recent presentation, for example.
Make sure you listen without interruptions. Ask only clarification questions, and do not challenge the boss.
Remain in listening mode throughout the conversation.
Close by playing back and validating what you heard. You can always come back with a few clarification questions.
Don’t get me wrong. I know first-hand this is not easy. It was never easy for me during my close to three decades inside the corporate world, and based on the dozens of leaders I have coached, it’s likely not easy for you, especially if you and your boss don’t get along… In any event, give it a try and let me know how it goes.
2. With your peers, generate trust by asking questions that allow you to learn more about them and their business challenges, and learn about the dependencies they have on you and your team. As with your boss, listen to their answers, both with your ears and your heart.
Are you sensing a “grudge” on their end? If so, find out what the root-cause is and apologize if needed.
Also, when meeting with them as a group, aim to participate in the discussions more by seeking to understand rather than by advocating ideas or challenging them.
I still remember way too many team meetings where I went in with a clear and fixed idea on a particular issue and fought hard to defend it against dissenting perspectives from my peers.
That was a few decades ago. I have since learned the limitations of such an approach, and now I coach leaders like you to engage and collaborate with your peers by listening more and speaking less.
3. With your employees: Lead by asking questions. Coach by asking questions. Brainstorm by asking questions. Engage them by asking questions, especially with the quiet and introverted. Give them the chance to digest your questions and seek clarification as needed. Make your employees become part of the solution you are looking for.
Ask more and tell less. How much more asking and how much less telling? In her book Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, Marilee Adams suggests aiming for an 80/20 ratio. Yes, go for asking four times more than telling. Are you up to the challenge?
Summarizing, there are three concrete actions you can start working on in 2023 to help you become a better leader by listening more and speaking less:
1. With your bosses, more than with any other work audience, make it a habit to start your interactions by asking for their feedback on your performance.
2. With your peers, generate trust by asking questions that allow you to learn more about them, about their business challenges, and about the dependencies they have on you and your team.
3. And with your employees, lead, coach, brainstorm and engage them by asking questions.
In our next episode I will have guest speaker who will talk to us about being a leader-influencer. You will not want to miss it!
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This is Percy Cannon, working to help you make the rest of your life…the best of your life®.