{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":0.17,"endTime":40.86,"body":"For the woman to be able to show up and be like, yeah, let's do this, baby. Like, I'm gonna open my legs and welcome you in and feel so safe and so, like, able to, like, access the type of pleasure that I want to feel, but also, like, be the type of lover that I want to offer to you. You know, like, the type of lover that you probably want to make love with more of. It's like that open, like, woman. And so to be able to feel like I can do that, I need to be able to trust you. Waiting to the point where she's just like, yes, please enter me. That will change your entire love making experience."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":43.71,"endTime":95.85,"body":"Hello, friend, and welcome to the Sex Upgraded podcast, a podcast for men all about sex, where we'll combine real, authentic and down to earth conversations about sex life and relationships with some pretty wild personal stories and practical how to episodes as well, with guest experts from around the world to help you have the most amazing sex life you can possibly have. My name is Taylor, and I'll be your host on this journey. And it's my goal with each episode to give you practical, actionable things you can start doing today to improve your sex life and your entire life, because a thriving sex life will help you thrive in all areas of your life. So let's begin today's episode by starting with a deep breath in through the nose, into the belly, together, exhaling with an audible sigh. And let's get into today's episode."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":105.25,"endTime":160.03,"body":"Today we are going to learn some really incredible, mind blowing stuff around penetration in sex. And I am so grateful to be joined by Naima Pierce today, who is a pelvic specialist for women, a full time sex coach for women who does ceremonial body work, hands on hands, in really incredible stuff. And she also happens to be my romantic partner. We're partners in our house and life right now. And this episode actually got inspired because I learned something that was totally mind blowing around penetration in sex from Naima. That shifted how we have sex and that shifted how I approach sex. And it was a really cool skill that I learned from your body work experience. And I thought, like, wow, everybody needs to know about this."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":160.18,"endTime":178.098,"body":"So we're going to share that really amazing thing and also go into some really useful tips and tricks around sexual penetration before, during, and after. So you can have the best sex and so your partner can have the best sex you possibly can. So, Naima, thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the show."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":178.184,"endTime":179.878,"body":"Thanks. It's nice to be back."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":179.964,"endTime":207.12,"body":"Yeah. Welcome back to the show. Our previous episode about natural birth control was shared a ton of times and got a lot of great feedback about it. So after this one, go back and listen to that. So is there anything else you'd like to say? Just to introduce yourself, to give us a sort of frame to understand your perspective, because you've worked with a lot of women and a lot of their pain and their trauma and their growth edges around sex and their reproductive health. What do we need to know?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":208.37,"endTime":264.194,"body":"Well, as you said, I'm a body worker. I'm a pelvic specialist, and I do hands on, hands in work. So what that means is I work hands on physically with women's bodies. Doing what I like to call ceremonial pelvic body work, somatic body work. So I'm working on all three levels of physical body mind, working with all of the mental stuff that comes up around our own self experiences, our own inner critics, our own inner beliefs about sex, ourselves, our bodies, all of that. And then working on the emotional, spiritual aspect of things, too, and how all those unconscious dynamics in our bodies come through in various expressions. And so in the sessions that I'm doing with clients, we're working on really deep, powerful levels, and it's seriously such an honor to do the work because there's such a deep need for it."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":264.312,"endTime":318.606,"body":"And inside of these sessions, it's really about helping women reclaim their selves, reclaim their sexuality, their confidence, their power, their worthiness. Like I said, it's hands on work. So for very clear understanding, I'm doing hands on vaginal touch work, internal vaginal work. And, man, there is a whole universe inside of pussy that holds all the memories, all the experiences, all the emotions, all the pleasures, all the pains there. And there's so much to explore, so much that needs to be listened to and held and acknowledged. So I'm stoked to be having this conversation because I love to help women understand this about their own bodies, but then helping their partners now get to come in and have a different approach, too, of how they might approach their beloved's body is going to be pretty juicy."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":318.638,"endTime":350.06,"body":"So, yeah, I do hands on work, but, yeah, I also work online. I coach and mentor women in the realms of sexuality to have them be able to do their own hands on work with their body, how they can help reprogram and reawaken their body to not only safety and goodness, but just like high pleasure, increasing orgasmic capacity, sexual experiences, whatever it is that women want to have and just feel more erotically confident. So I love my work as you can tell it's very close to my heart. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":350.75,"endTime":355.15,"body":"Awesome. It's one of the reasons I feel attracted to you, because I love the work you do too."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":355.22,"endTime":356.27,"body":"Thanks, baby."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":356.93,"endTime":361.678,"body":"And with that, you hear a lot of stories from these women."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":361.764,"endTime":362.586,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":362.708,"endTime":384.358,"body":"And we've talked a little bit before this episode, so I have some idea, but refresh my memory. Refresh our memory. Or perhaps tell us something new. What are some themes that you've learned from working with all these women and how does it relate to penetration, or does it?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":384.444,"endTime":449.098,"body":"Yeah, well, I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is, like, I have never met a single woman that has a couple of things. I've never met a single woman that has just felt perfectly erotically confident. Access to pleasure without any issues. I've never met it. And in my opinion, it doesn't exist. And I say that because I think it's beautiful for us all to remember, male, female, whoever you are. Sex is something. And access to pleasure and being sexually radiant and skilled, so to speak, that takes practice. It takes actually practicing it, but also it takes the process of overcoming all of the shit in the way from us just feeling so safe, so able to surrender, so able to just access the states that we want to feel when we're in sexual experiences with ourselves or other people."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":449.264,"endTime":501.69,"body":"So I think it's important to remember that it takes practice, it takes work. And the ods are stacked against us in society, to be honest, just from things like violence and shame and lack of sexual education and just like, general stress of life, we have to actively do things to create a more stable and steady environment of thriving sexually in our bodies. That's one. Number two, I've never met a single woman that has not experienced some sort of boundary crossing in their life, whether that's, like, overt, intense, capital t trauma of rape and assault, which I see a lot of work with a lot of women in that realm, or just like, they're having sex with their partner and they said yes when it wasn't a yes, or they were, like, working with a practitioner of some kind that crossed their boundaries."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":502.91,"endTime":506.35,"body":"I've never met a single woman that hasn't had that experience."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":506.5,"endTime":517.902,"body":"Yeah. So let's dive into that one before we keep going on that list, because I think that one's super juicy and it's alive and it shows up even in the context of consensual relationships."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":517.966,"endTime":518.402,"body":"Hell yeah."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":518.456,"endTime":549.642,"body":"Right. Even in our relationship, that has showed up. And so what is the impact of that? Even, say, for example, something that would seem relatively simple like, say we're having sex, say one of the times we had sex in the past and I was maybe too excited, or I got excited more quickly and rushed to penetration. What kind of imprint does that leave? Or what's the impact of that?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":549.776,"endTime":603.994,"body":"Yeah, so this goes a couple of different ways. And there's the imprint of said partner does something to the woman or the person that even with the best of attentions, it's not working in some way. Yeah. The impact, generally speaking, I would say generally, is like a tension, a tightening and some level of closure, both physically, emotionally, even, like very deep unconscious closure that's happening. Okay. And what that does on my physiological, nerdy science brain is like, well, if you get tightness, you get tension in your body. What that's going to do is it's going to create literal tight muscles in your pelvic floor with those tight muscles. What that does is it actually starts to constrict. Things like nerve endings constricts, things like blood vessels and lymphatic flow."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":604.042,"endTime":655.642,"body":"And when those vessels and those nerve endings start to become constricted through tension, even if it's emotional tension that starts to impact the way a woman can actually feel literal sensation in her pussy, that's when numbness starts to come and creep in and women can't feel pleasure or pain, like having different pain in different areas of the vagina or overall altogether different pain areas. So a general tension closure, tightening on a deeper level, in terms of emotions, mind, on some level, it's a mistrust thing happening. And so how is that going to impact, let's just say, in our dynamic or a couple's dynamic, how does that impact future sexual experiences for the woman to be able to show up and be like, yeah, let's do this, baby."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":655.706,"endTime":702.798,"body":"I'm going to open my legs and welcome you in and feel so safe and so able to access the type of pleasure that I want to feel, but also be the type of lover that I want to offer to you, the type of lover that you probably want to make love with more of, is like that open, radiant woman. And so to be able to feel like I can do that, I need to be able to trust you. I need to be able to feel like we have a shared language, a shared understanding between us. So when there's minor violations there or even big violations there, it's cutting off my ability to show up in future dynamics and your ability to meet me in them. I mean, I could go on and on, but those are two."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":702.884,"endTime":749.926,"body":"Yeah. So let's run with those. And what feels important here to point out, at least to me, is that what you're naming happens all the time. And it might not even seem like it's happening. I know there's a lot of men who aren't aware this is happening, but there are a lot of women who aren't aware that penetration is being rushed for them either, for sure. And there's so many. Like, if you think about the way sex is shown in movies and tv shows and talked about in books and just portrayed everywhere, especially porn, for sure, the lead up to penetration is like that. Especially porn. Like most porn, sex videos, it's like your full vaginal penetration within the first, like 8 seconds."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":749.958,"endTime":752.46,"body":"Something makes my pussy fucking tighten up right now."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":752.85,"endTime":803.162,"body":"Yeah. So there's all these imprints, and they do have some level of an impact on our psyche and our consciousness of all genders. Like, all genders watch porn, statistically speaking. And so I just want to say, if this is happening in your relationship, if it has happened, it doesn't mean you or your partner is bad. It's a learning opportunity and you can come together. And the intention of this episode is to help people bring more consciousness and awareness to their sexual experiences, to grow together so they can have better sex. Yeah, absolutely. And the other piece that feels important to note here is that you said you've worked with a ton of women who've experienced sexual assault or sexual violations, possibly rape. Right. The reality is, yeah, a lot of women have experienced that."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":803.216,"endTime":831.43,"body":"And if you are a guy dating a woman, there's a high probability she has experienced that at some point, too. Even if you're not the person, probably you're not the person who did that to her. But it's still what I'm hearing from you and what I believe is that it's still in her body and it still shows up in her sexual experiences and in her vagina and in her arousal cycles. And so bringing awareness to that through some of the steps that we're going to talk about and some of the tricks and tips."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":831.85,"endTime":869.698,"body":"Yeah. Just approaches and things like that. And thanks for bringing that in, because that's something so important, too. It's like I said, every woman has experienced violation on some level, at some point in their lives, whether you are the one man, if you're in this, we're talking very heterosexually. Let's just acknowledge that we're doing that. Love all the people that have all their configurations elsewhere. But I'm speaking about this and whether it's the man in the picture or not that did such violation or whatever. Yes. It's so good to remember that these stories, any story, human across the board, they live in our cells, they live in our tissues, they live in our body."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":869.784,"endTime":904.678,"body":"And so if you're a man interacting with your woman and you know she's had trauma, assault, anything in the past, you need to know these things even more because, yeah, it's going to help her to open up, but you guys are going to have so much more fun, seriously. So much more fun, so much more pleasure, so much more enjoyment. If there's like a deeper environment of safety created and just like this delicious level of attunement to one another's bodies, you become such a better lover. Like, women love the shit. Even when it's not about the trauma and the pain and all of that. It's just so much nicer to be approached with some of the things we're."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":904.694,"endTime":929.382,"body":"Going to talk about for sure. Even if it's a one night stand. We've talked about relationships, but even if it's just like a hookup type experience, just to put it bluntly, bringing this awareness and some of these skills into that situation can make it ten times better. More orgasmic, more pleasure, more likely for all your fantasies and their fantasies to happen, too. It's just like taking a little bit of extra time to focus on this penetration stuff. Changes the whole game."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":929.436,"endTime":930.36,"body":"Yeah, it does."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":930.89,"endTime":932.934,"body":"So should we get into it?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":932.972,"endTime":935.142,"body":"Let's do it. Let's get in."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":935.196,"endTime":967.94,"body":"Let's get in. Let's penetrate. Well, not literally, but figuratively. I have a little notebook here to make sure we go into everything. So maybe we could just list a couple of the what makes a bad penetrative sex experience? And then we'll go into the before, during and after tips. And that's where the thing that I learned from you, my mind, we're going to get into that. So first of all, just to frame some things, what makes a bad penetration experience?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":968.71,"endTime":1010.398,"body":"To sum it up, like, too much too fast, too soon, breaking that down. Yeah, it does, actually. That's what they say about trauma, too. Right, but too much too fast. So what makes bad penetration happen is when there's a rush to entering, when there's not a slow entering, when there's not actual, really clear communication and consent about it. Whether that's like, yes, please enter me with words or like a nod of approval. Yeah, baby, come on in. Or whatever it is some sort of acknowledgment that the woman is like, yes, please enter me now."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1010.484,"endTime":1012.71,"body":"And you're not just talking about penis, you're talking about fingers."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1012.73,"endTime":1027.72,"body":"Fingers, toys, penis, whatever it is. Yeah, penetration. That's what we're saying for the whole video here, the whole podcast here. It's all about fingers, toys, or cock. Once you're inside going too fast."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1028.569,"endTime":1029.569,"body":"Jackhammering."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1029.65,"endTime":1051.098,"body":"Yeah, the jackhammer thing. Too much. And you can find times in the right circumstances to really fuck. And I can get down with that, too. We can talk about that. But ultimately, for across the board, like, entering too fast, jackhammering, not getting a clear communication and a yes. Yeah. I mean, that's what's coming right now."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1051.104,"endTime":1091.85,"body":"We wrote down a couple of other ones. Yeah. The assumption that you can just enter that a vagina or a pussy or a yoni or whatever you want to call it is just like, waiting for you to enter. And you can enter whenever you want to. The importance of connection around that point, jackhammering, also, this is a big one for guys or for anyone. Penetrating anybody is to make sure you just stay present with the person, and you don't start distracting yourself by thinking about baseball or whatever or fantasizing about the next sexual position. Just like really being there and being attuned to your partner. But being distracted is something that makes a bad penetration experience."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1092.0,"endTime":1142.15,"body":"Yeah. And then I would say, even during sex, we mentioned the jackhammer. But again, you're reflecting, not attuned to what her body is doing, what their body's needing and doing from moment to moment, or changing really rapidly in positions really quickly, that's not good for both partners. Sometimes when you just really quickly change positions, it can sometimes be like, whoa, you just poked me in the side there. Or it doesn't feel that good. It's too abrupt. So anything that's really abrupt, again, too fast, too much. It's like the body doesn't have enough time to take in the information and to switch. Now, all that being said, when you develop the right communication with your partner, when there's, like, a shared understanding, even if that's nonverbal and you're in the zone and you both are in that place. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1142.22,"endTime":1155.07,"body":"Then you can dance more and be a little bit more like, okay, we're moving and we're shifting, and now all of a sudden, I'm flipping you around and it's working. But generally speaking, we want to think about slowing down that deep attunement. Permission."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1157.41,"endTime":1210.302,"body":"Great. I think it's just useful to keep those things in mind. Keep those things in mind. Before, during, after. Let's get into some of the actual, like, what do you do in sex? So let's talk about before one of the things, and I want to start this piece off because we had a different conversation another time, and I've talked with a couple of other people about this, and I recognize it in myself, and it happens in our relationship. And I have to regularly remind myself that before penetration, during foreplay, I might like it as a guy if you were to just go straight from my penis and immediately start going down on me. Right. That's something that brings me into the sexual experience, like breathing on my neck, touching my body softly, all that other stuff."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1210.436,"endTime":1243.994,"body":"It's not a strong enough stimulus for me to get drawn into the sexual experience. And so I can project that onto you or to women and be like, oh, well, turn her on. I should just go straight for her pussy. Hands straight to the pussy, mouth straight to the pussy. And I'm laughing, but I've done that way too much in life, and I have to keep reminding myself. And so I would say that's like, step number one, don't go straight for the pussy. And then I want to hear what you have to say about that and what else you should do before penetration happens."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1244.112,"endTime":1250.242,"body":"Yeah. I mean, first, like, bless your hearts that want to go straight for the pussy. She's so magnetic."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1250.406,"endTime":1251.354,"body":"Yeah, totally."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1251.402,"endTime":1284.31,"body":"We want to go there. It's fun. I get it. But, yeah, a certain level of warm up around the body in general, but around the inner thighs, around the bikini line, like the pelvic creases, touching and warming up in there before touching the vulva directly is so nice, so helpful, let alone all the other foreplay things that could be a whole other podcast, whether that's like kissing and making out and breast touch and body stroking all over, we want to include some of that, too."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1284.38,"endTime":1287.014,"body":"What is vulva? Just in case anyone's not clear on what that is."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1287.052,"endTime":1297.542,"body":"Yeah. Vulva is all the external genitalia that you can see on a woman. So, like a woman, she's standing in front of a mirror, opens her legs, she's looking at herself. It's everything you can see from the outside. That's your vulva."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1297.606,"endTime":1298.314,"body":"Got it."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1298.432,"endTime":1346.314,"body":"Not including the anus, obviously, touching all around the vulva is really helpful. And something that I think is important to bring into the picture, too, is think about it. If you're a man listening to this, think about it from your perspective, like how you would want someone to approach your anus. Because here's the thing you were talking about men like to go straight for the pussy because that's what feels good to them. Their cock getting touch feels freaking great like that. They don't need a lot of external stimulation, warm up as much as women, I should say. But you guys are the penetrator. You're not like opening a literal vessel to receive something. So think about it from your anus. If you're opening this vessel to put something inside of it to receive anal penetration, you're going to slow down."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1346.352,"endTime":1379.59,"body":"You're going to be like, yeah, rub my ass cheeks for a minute, apply some warm pressure. That's what you naturally would want. So kind of like, think about it from that lens too. And yes, the pussy and the asshole are very different orifices, but it's the same fundamental idea of things going in and being in the receiving position and what it takes to really open both physically, but again, viscerally, emotionally, to open your vessel. Yeah, that external warm up."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1379.66,"endTime":1398.938,"body":"Yeah, beautiful. So, yeah, we're assuming, we're saying right now all the other foreplay stuff. Yes, you could have a whole podcast about that. And we're approaching going towards penetration right now. So we've touched around the vulva, we've touched around the inner thighs, we've maybe licked there, kissed there. The arousal is starting to happen."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1399.024,"endTime":1449.938,"body":"Yeah. I would even say add in something that I freaking love and that I do for my clients all the time, and women report back to me all the time being like, I love this way of feeling like someone's supporting me. To open is just holding some pressure with your thumbs around. Again, the bikini line, or even close to the perineum, or just like two thumbs on either side of the vaginal entrance. And just like holding some steady, firm pressure there, having her breathe in, that's not only physically helping her opening, but when you slow down like that, when you hold that pressure, you breathe, and she can feel that, and you're like, hey, baby, take a breath. Like, oh, my gosh, the attunement. Already my body's like, I'm letting down. I feel so much safer. He's with me, he's listening."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1450.054,"endTime":1458.83,"body":"And it just physically feels so good. Just like when someone pushes on your body anywhere, like with some pressure, you start to decompress."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1463.57,"endTime":1468.458,"body":"Yeah. So we've decompressed."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1468.554,"endTime":1469.2,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1470.93,"endTime":1476.966,"body":"At what point should her pussy be touched? And how does that happen?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1477.068,"endTime":1522.93,"body":"Yeah, so this whole thing we're talking about of warming up and stuff with, again, this level of attunement communication, verbal or nonverbal, tuning into when it is the right time either by asking, can I lay my hand on your vulva? Can I touch you? I'm going to talk about it two different ways. So I think there's one way to do this that can actually be so beautiful and reverent. When you actually say, like, can I touch your vulva? Can I touch your pussy? And you get just, like, a clear yes or no. There's something amazing about this. I do this in every single session that I do with clients. When it comes time to do the pelvic work, I ask them, may I lay my hand on your vulva? Do you feel ready for that?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1523.0,"endTime":1570.898,"body":"And I invite them to open their eyes, look me directly in the eye, and say, yes or no, or, I need another five minutes or whatever. In that moment. In my sessions with clients, that moment right there is usually when the freaking floodgates open, when their heart just, like, realized there's this huge aha. Moment for them. Like, oh, I've never been asked that before. I've never actually said, now's the time for you touch my vulva and pussy. Whether that's, like, a man or their sexual partner or freaking, like, ObGYn's gynecological exams or whatever. There's so much experience that women have of their pussies being touched before they actually are. Like, yes, please touch my pussy. So one side of this is like, play with that."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1570.984,"endTime":1617.714,"body":"For the sake of both of you being so clear about that and giving her that experience of just directly asking the second way, that's a little bit more like, I don't know what you want to call it, integrated into the sexual flow and experience. Could be like, okay, you're warming her body up. You guys have some shared understanding, and you can start the warm up on her vulva, too. I love a good hand. So when I say, like, can I touch your vulva first? And you put a hand, or you start to lay a hand on the vulva, a good broad. Like, for those of you that are watching the video on YouTube, say this thumb or this fist here is my vulva. Like, outside hand. Just like, firm pressure on the v shaped area of the vulva and, like, oh, firm pressure again."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1617.752,"endTime":1629.214,"body":"Maybe pause there. Breathe. You can hold there. Start to do some circles on the vulva. That's, like, broadly stimulating the clitoris and warming things up, rather than going directly for the glands, like with a finger or a tongue."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1629.262,"endTime":1631.01,"body":"What do you mean, the glands? Just to clarify."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1631.09,"endTime":1636.738,"body":"Yeah, thanks. The glands of the clitoris. So that's the external portion of the clitoris that you can see visually."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1636.834,"endTime":1638.29,"body":"So don't go straight for the clit."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1638.37,"endTime":1653.658,"body":"Don't go straight for the clit, like in that very precise way. I think going for the clit in the opening part of stimulating genitals is great because it's very highly sensory for most women out there. But starting with those broad circles on."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1653.664,"endTime":1675.234,"body":"The, maybe don't have it be the first thing you touch with your finger when you touch the vulva. Yeah, I like the hand pressure. I noticed from our own sexual experiences. When I do that with you, there is this sort of grounding that happens in you, or there's a settling or there's a deeper relaxation and opening that leads to a much better sexual experience."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1675.352,"endTime":1724.418,"body":"It's so grounding, it feels like a hug on the vulva. It truly does. Like your warm hand, your warm touch. And think of it's my root chakra. It's like, oh, it's like this feeling kind of like I can just let down my pelvic floor muscles release. So again, so you're starting to stimulate. Maybe you're doing some circles on the vulva with a broad hand. In that same thing of warming up for penetration, you can start to massage those inner thighs, the bikini line, stroking more broadly across the entirety of the vulva. Like kind of just stroking hand over hand down the vulva slowly and sweet. And make sure there's some nice oil or lube or something like that to bring into the experience if she's not like just a fountain, which most people aren't. So, yeah, that kind of warm up."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1724.504,"endTime":1738.438,"body":"Yeah. And then moving forward. I recognize it's interesting in this. I'm the one moving it forward right now. Interesting position. I am the host of the podcast, and I'm also the man who you're."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1738.454,"endTime":1740.374,"body":"Like, yeah, but what happens when we're done stroking?"},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1740.502,"endTime":1788.394,"body":"But what's next? When can we get to penetration? I'm ready to fuck now. So there's another piece that I've grown in appreciation and understanding for in our sexual relationship. And so say all that has happened, and I'm going down on you potentially. I'm like licking your clitoris, I'm licking the whole area around your vulva, et cetera, and moving towards penetration, because it's obvious we both want that. So we talked about earlier all the nerve endings that are right at the opening, the vaginal canal. And that's like a magnificent place to just play with a thumb, with the tip of a penis maybe, but probably start with a finger and before I say anything else? Do you want to speak on that?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1788.432,"endTime":1832.05,"body":"Yeah. So when it's starting to get to the place of entering the pussy, what I love and works really great for most people is holding some pressure also at the entrance of the vagina before you even start to go in. So oftentimes what this can look like is like using a thumb. I don't know, you can explain your techniques that you use, but using a Thumb and just putting your thumb right at the entrance of the vagina, maybe one hand is, like, on the clit as well, and you can just kind of hold and breathe, but then start, like a gentle pulsation. It's like a pulsation. You're not, like, pushing in and through, but it's almost like creating this little suction at the entrance of the vagina."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1832.13,"endTime":1836.274,"body":"So we're talking like, maybe an inch worth of movement right there. Half inch?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1836.322,"endTime":1883.026,"body":"Yeah, something like that. And again, the Thumb, the fingers, whatever you're using at the entrance of the vagina is broad enough that you're not pushing through. So say we do this, too with your cock. Sometimes you'll put the tip of your cock at the entrance of my vagina, and you'll just kind of push in some pressure. And, yeah, maybe you could say you're going in a little bit, but it's like your cock is broad enough, too, that it's like you're just offering some pressure around and at the entrance of my vagina. And what that does, oh, my gosh, it's so sensually and sexually stimulating. Or it can be. If all women don't feel that right away, it's okay. Know that's something you can grow into, but there's so much pleasure opportunity right at the entrance of the vagina, what's called the entroitus."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1883.058,"endTime":1926.61,"body":"And this is an area that oftentimes is just, like, missed. And it makes me sad because I'm like, no, there's so much there to explore just around the entrance, doing that pulsing. But also, you can slide your finger in just a little bit, like a knuckle deep, and start to play right around the lower kind of half moon of the vaginal entrance. Vaginal entrance. And there's so many nerve endings there, too. And right around this is something you remember about the clitoris is like we talked about the glands of the clitoris. That's the external portion of the clitoris that you can see, that you can stimulate on the outside, but there's a whole internal structure of the clitoris. Okay. For any of you that do not know this. Look up a picture of this."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1926.76,"endTime":1929.282,"body":"I'll put a diagram on screen if you're watching on YouTube."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1929.346,"endTime":1968.014,"body":"Yeah. Okay. So there's a whole internal structure that is the clitoris. And she's beautiful. And she has bulbs and she has legs. And those bulbs and those legs are made of erectile tissue and they will engorge just like that of a penis and become full of blood when they're given the proper time to actually do that. And so when you work and start to play a little bit around the entrance of the vaginas, stroke the external clitoral glands, it gives a chance for those inner structures of the clitoris to start to come online too, and be a part of the process. So when you're stimulating internally like that, just at the entrance, you're stimulating the clitoris. You're stimulating those areas."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":1968.142,"endTime":1992.25,"body":"Awesome. Just occurred to me right now, back when were talking about the thumb technique. I think it's such a good technique that I'm going to go in and edit and put some video on top of this video on the YouTube section of actually using a model vagina just to show you this technique, because it's so juicy and so good. I think it's excellent."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":1992.99,"endTime":2036.706,"body":"And when you do that, then again, we could talk about this two different ways. One way is once you're doing that for a little while, it will become very clear when. Let me back up there. It could become very clear when her body is like, yes, let's go in further now. Now why I backed up there is because again, let's go back to the one of the initial things, rules of thumb, so to speak, is like, don't make assumptions and assume that she's ready. When I'm doing my pelvic sessions with women, again, I ask them like, I'm going to pulsate here. Take as long as you need. You got all the time you need. And for clarification, I'm not giving erotic pleasure sessions. In my sessions, they're all like for therapeutic purposes. Just to highlight that really quick. Nothing wrong with erotic massage."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2036.738,"endTime":2077.126,"body":"It's just not what I do. Anyway, so I'm holding my client there and I will pulsate and I'll just say to them, like, you stay here as long as you want. I'm happy to offer this. Let breathe open. Like, breathe open your pussy. Listen to when there's a true fuck, yes. And then when you feel it, say yes. And I will gently, slowly slide my fingers in. So you could do that same thing with your female partner. I'm going to hang out here, baby, and just keep warming you up until you feel like a yes. Just let me know. Try it that way. Or again, maybe that you have a deeper relationship and you can communicate more nonverbally. Or she's like, yeah, I'm ready. And then you can gently start to slide in. And it's a beautiful way to start to enter the body."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2077.228,"endTime":2110.682,"body":"Yeah. And I want to highlight, just from my perspective again, either the asking for penetration or receiving the ask from the woman. It's such a beautiful thing. And from my perspective, as the person entering, it changes how I enter them too. Changes how I enter you. When that's there's this other feeling of reverence and respect and honoring and sexiness. It's like, oh, you actually want me. You want me inside you. That is juicy."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2110.746,"endTime":2162.718,"body":"Yeah, that is juicy. And just to piggyback off of that, I don't know. I have this story sometimes that men get bored, tired, exhausted of feeling like they need to do so much work to get to the goods, so to speak. And I have some compassion for that. I have some empathy for that. I get it. We have different response systems and such. But moving into the practice of playing with what you just said, of really asking for that permission and waiting to the point where she's just like, yes, please enter me. That will change your entire love making experience versus her on some level, whether you're consciously aware to it or not. Her saying yes when it's a little bit too. Maybe it's still a yes, but it's, like, a little too early for her, and it will change the whole experience."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2162.804,"endTime":2204.746,"body":"For both of you and all your love making experiences also, just, yeah. For the record, not every time we have sex do we do a full, extended, like, 40 minutes foreplay session prior to penetration. But because we've explored with this and played with this, we've developed a certain container or a certain baseline of understanding with each other, and that kind of sets the stage for all this other stuff to happen. And I will say, if you've never done what we're talking about, you got to try it at least ten times to start to really understand the impact that it can have on love making. So would you like to move on to penetration?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2204.858,"endTime":2215.89,"body":"Oh, would I like. Let's see. Let's take another deep breath together. Oh, yeah, that's feeling good. Let's move on to penetration."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2216.31,"endTime":2231.494,"body":"I'm so excited. I can't wait. So penetration. And let's just say for right now, we're just going with penis. Like penis penetration is happening. Do I just go full on all the way?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2231.612,"endTime":2246.634,"body":"No. All right, so let's go back. We're pulsing at the entrance, right? Pulsing at the entrance with the cock again, attuning to the needs around. Liquid and yummy. Whether that's lube, how she's at, where she at with her wetness, all that."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2246.672,"endTime":2247.718,"body":"We're both pro lube."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2247.814,"endTime":2297.29,"body":"Yeah, very pro Lube. Love me some uber lube. It's fantastic. Pro lube. Okay, so pulsing at the entrance, slowly starting to enter. What I love, too, once you've entered maybe an inch or two, pausing there for a second. Because cock, it's a lot to receive. Even when I'm so ready and wanting it's just a lot to receive. So not going all in, all at once. That's a really great move, is to slow it down again, go in a couple of inches. Either pause there and hold and breathe open, or doing some again. In and out, just a couple of inches. In and out, in and out. And that will also just help the whole vaginal entrance to open. And it'll help her arousal to keep growing and her to not feel rushed again."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2297.36,"endTime":2327.314,"body":"It's really about when she starts to feel rushed in any way, there will again start to be that tightening. If I'm not feeling fully ready and your cock's going in me, I will feel my pussy start to tighten a little bit and be like, oh, okay, hold on. And I could lay there and push past that. Women do that all the time. It doesn't feel that great. It might not feel super painful. It might feel very painful, but it's tight. I'm not going to have a good sexual experience like that."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2327.432,"endTime":2345.194,"body":"And what that would do for our overall sexual experience, even if it would be, quote unquote, rewarding for me, in the moment of getting to full penetration, then it would set this stage of pushing past you, being ultimately ready for that experience, which is going to flavor the rest of the experience."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2345.312,"endTime":2394.374,"body":"Yeah. So cues to look out for, I would say, would be like, when you're starting to penetrate in, what's the quality of her breathing? Where are her eyes? Even if they're closed, that's fine. But did they just kind of, like, squint a little bit harder? You can read pain signals and body tension signals. It takes some art to learn it, but you can read that women, when you're being penetrated, start to pay attention to actually what you literally feel moment to moment in your pussy from place to place as it's being touched. This is the gold mine for not only having him be more attuned, but increasing your capacity to feel in your body, period. You want to overcome numbness, pay attention to what you feel, where you feel it. Breathe into that. So women paying attention to what you're feeling."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2394.422,"endTime":2410.16,"body":"If there's a little sharpness, if there's a little pain, like asking for a pause in that moment and breathing into that sharpness and pain rather than trying to just move away from it the entire time and let it start to slowly open in time."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2410.85,"endTime":2440.55,"body":"Which brings us to the really cool technique that I've learned from you that's remarkable. That changes the sexual experience. So let's say I'm entering you and there is that pain point somewhere in your vagina, and you have the decision point. Oh, I could push past this just to make sex easier, or I could honor my body and say, actually, not feeling it quite yet. I'll let you."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2440.62,"endTime":2484.374,"body":"Yeah, I mean, what I generally do is like, I'm like, oop, that's, like, a little tender right there. Hold on, hold on. That's all I'll say. Hold on. Just pause. I start breathing. Okay, here's the technique that I started teaching to Taylor is, like, I direct him to exactly where I want him to put his cock. I'll be like, hey, shift your body. Move this way. Let's try to get your cock touch that spot that is tight. I'm not moving away from it, actually. I'm moving towards it, asking him to move towards the pain point. Or I'll say, hey, can you pull your cock out and actually go in with your hand for a second? I'll direct him to the pain point area, the tension point, whatever you want to call it. Maybe it's a little burny feeling. Direct him to it."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2484.412,"endTime":2541.862,"body":"Have him put pressure and just hold. Internal pressure, internal pressure. Pressure. Where you feel the internal pain. Burning, stretching, uncomfortable sensation. Haven't put pressure there. You, the person receiving the pressure. Breathe. Breathe in. Inhale. Breathe into the spot. Exhale. Sound the sensation of the pain. It's like, okay, I'm going to start to let that go with his pressure, with you both putting directed conscious attention to that area. Literally, I've worked with my pussy a lot, so I will say, from my own experience, a minute of doing that or less, I'm open there in that area. Now, I don't have pain there. I will say, very similarly, I've had my hands inside of hundreds of women's vulvas like, honored again. When I hold that pressure, when they're, like, a little tight there. It's a little burny right there. It's a little pinchy. I hold pressure."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2541.926,"endTime":2561.818,"body":"I'll do some different techniques, too, but just to hold maybe a little bit of a swiping, little bit of a circular motion there. If she asks for that within a minute, five minutes, sometimes I can feel the tissue melt under my fingertips. Literally, it feels like butter, just like it opens. It's miraculous."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2561.914,"endTime":2570.654,"body":"Totally. Yeah, I'll say, like, when I do that with you. And for clarification, just to be 100% clear, I'm following your lead. I'm not, like, therapizing your vagina."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2570.702,"endTime":2571.01,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2571.08,"endTime":2584.39,"body":"I'm following exactly where you want my finger to be. And then nine times out of ten, I can feel the spot, too, inside you. And then, yeah, like you said, with that sustained pressure, I can feel it sort of dissolve or melt into everything else. And it's trippy."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2584.97,"endTime":2591.974,"body":"Yeah. The pussy is a shapeshifter. I always talk about this, like, the pussy shape shifts. It's amazing when you give that attention."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2592.022,"endTime":2614.49,"body":"And love, and then that extra step of taking that moment on a nervous system level just creates a deeper opportunity for trust and connection and opening and relaxation. And then penetration. Returning to penetration after that is like, usually, I'm not going to say 100% all the time, but usually just like. Yeah, it's usually so much delicious."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2614.57,"endTime":2616.48,"body":"Yeah, so much better after that."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2617.49,"endTime":2617.998,"body":"Cool."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2618.084,"endTime":2623.266,"body":"Sounds like that's the thing that you were talking at the beginning, when you were like, I have this thing. I was like, oh, so here's what it is."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2623.288,"endTime":2669.294,"body":"Yeah, no, this is the thing. And it might sound simple listening to it, but the act of doing it is revolutionary. It is, because it takes that moment to pause and for the woman to really be attuned to her body and say, no, I need a little bit more attention. And for the man to pause, too, and transmute his desire in that moment, for the desire of his partner to have a good sexual experience and for his desire for you both to be sexually connected and have an amazing experience. Take that moment and pause, come into connection, create some opening, and then continue with the sexual experience after that. It's a monumental thing to do physically. It's pretty simple technique, but the impact is just massive. Yeah, it's absolutely massive."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2669.342,"endTime":2670.142,"body":"It is massive."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2670.206,"endTime":2686.438,"body":"And so there's the desire for me, I have a desire to just give permission for people to try this. If you're listening to this, I'm assuming you're wanting to have the best sexual experiences you can possibly have. And this is something that will help with that if you play with it."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2686.524,"endTime":2729.454,"body":"Yeah. Everything you just said is true. Like, music to my ears. I felt like a softening in my body of just like. Yeah. That level of attunement together. Like, that unified attunement is so beautiful on a deep level. Our bodies feel that. And kind of going back to this thing, too, of like, if you're a woman listening to this or a male partner, you know, your woman has had some sort of assault or trauma of any kind. Like, doing that is like how she starts to heal on a very deep, visceral level, meaning, like physical, muscular level in her pussy, how actual sensation begins to return to her body again. Because we think about that tension, that constriction of the nerve endings."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2729.502,"endTime":2770.334,"body":"Like, if you hold on a nerve ending there, if you hold in an area, you're touching nerves, okay, anywhere in the poster, you're going to be touching some nerves there. If you hold there and let her breathe and maybe even bring in some gentle stimulation to that area following her lead, it's actually stimulating that nerve to find more safety and aliveness again. It's actually the science of neuroplasticity. Like nerves that fire together, wire together. When you touch something, like if you get nerve damage, you're going touch it. You're going to massage that area of your body, whether it's your arm, your pussy, whatever. And so if you want more sensation overcoming numbness, you want to go in and touch and stimulate and breathe with and be with those areas again, even if it's uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2770.382,"endTime":2777.478,"body":"Like I said, you want to move towards that place of discomfort a little bit and just give it really soft, sweet, safe love."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2777.564,"endTime":2803.806,"body":"Yeah, safe, sweet love, which can also be wild, animalistic fucking that has soft, sweet love in it as well. We're not talking about just, like, ohming, chanting, whatever deity, and having a slow, candle lit, eye gazing, like, mouth breathing, facial experience. No wild vod kind of stuff."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2803.908,"endTime":2817.65,"body":"In fact, when you take the time to hold those pressure points and help open me, then I'm like, yeah, now let's fuck. Now let's get in there and have the great, wild time, too, because I'm actually open to it."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2817.72,"endTime":2867.842,"body":"Totally. So two things to talk about during penetrative sex that are really useful things to keep in mind that I didn't know for a long time, but that changed sex for me. And we talked about one of them earlier. But number one is this idea around it's just like, boom, boom, boom. Like jackhammering. Or even if you're not jackhammering, just going quick in and out fully all the way. That's something that, again, porn has sort of instilled in us, but also movies and everything. Like, you watch a movie where there's a sexual scene, it's like, oh, warm up foreplay, boom, sex. And it's like full in, full out. Like maybe about 30 seconds, then orgasm, then done, right? So to shift that up, try. How do I want to say this? Yeah, gyration is amazing."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2867.976,"endTime":2904.186,"body":"And you talked about wanting to talk about cervical pleasure in some point into this podcast. And I think this might be part of the spot. But instead of going all the way in, all the way out from default, perhaps try going all the way in and then dry rating with your partner. Just like swinging your hips around while staying in and notice what happens. That can be a mindset shift for guys too, even just to give yourself permission to do that. And also, a lot of guys fall into the thought of like, oh, I have to do that. So she feels pleasure, I have to go faster, so she feels pleasure."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2904.298,"endTime":2916.334,"body":"When actually a lot of women in my experience and understanding experience a lot of pleasure, perhaps more pleasure sometimes with the gyration and without the full in and out constantly kind of thing."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2916.452,"endTime":2917.214,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2917.412,"endTime":2918.642,"body":"What would you say about that?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2918.696,"endTime":2958.046,"body":"Yeah, so it kind of reminds me to, when were in a place of talking about penetration, maybe you're going a couple of inches in and then pulling out a little bit and you're getting to the place of the cock or finger, we'll say, too, of being fully in. So, yeah, I love what you're saying about what does it look like to play with any other options besides just moving in and out? Let sex is an opportunity to be on your adult playground. Like, see what else you can explore, get creative with it. So I like what you were saying there, too. In terms of the thing of when women feel more or less pleasure, I think it's definitely very much. It's always going to be unique to some level."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2958.148,"endTime":2985.238,"body":"And what I have found time and time again in my own body and the many hundreds of women I've worked with, is when the pussy becomes more and more enlivened in time and awakened to sensation in general. Usually it doesn't take as much stimulation to get the pleasure that she's wanting to have. So I still love some good, fast pleasure sometimes."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":2985.324,"endTime":2985.762,"body":"Totally."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":2985.826,"endTime":3038.522,"body":"But then I'm like, oh, okay, now let's slow it down for a while. And you've even reflected this to me, too, when we go really slow sometimes, and you're just, like, pulsing in and out of me slowly, maybe halfway part of the way, and then you go in and just hold for a breath, and then we move back out. Both of us start to feel this, like, whoa. Opening. It's this wave, oceanic growing type of pleasure. Rather, it's like water, I would say like water. Elemental pleasure rather than fire. Friction pleasure. Both are cool. Play with one. But that's even a fun way to think about it. Think of the elementals of things, like, are we moving like waves of water, or are we sparking a match and getting a fire going and rubbing sticks together?"},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3038.656,"endTime":3039.382,"body":"Totally."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3039.526,"endTime":3040.538,"body":"Both are okay."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3040.704,"endTime":3058.254,"body":"Yeah. One of my favorite things is to just go really slow, to notice all the different sensations in each millimeter of motion. If you slow it down that much, it can be absolutely delicious. Not saying you have to do that always, but explore it. Explore it."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3058.292,"endTime":3083.046,"body":"And I imagine for a lot of your students and male listeners, too, moving with that slowness, like giving yourself the permission to move slower too. That's a great place to start. Even more implying the practices of the semen retention and being able to attune to your cock in your body and being able to read your sensations so that you can track your whole arousal system too, so you can have that skill built into your own body."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3083.148,"endTime":3105.11,"body":"Totally. If you're hearing the word semen retention right now, the words, and you're like, what the fuck is that? I have a lot of other episodes about that where I talk about it. Turns out it can be very pleasurable for all parties involved. On the note of this and ejaculatory choice, we've been penetrating for a while now in this episode."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3105.19,"endTime":3106.814,"body":"Oh, wow. Really building up there."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3106.852,"endTime":3155.93,"body":"Yeah. And so in addition to the non needed jackhammering piece, which will push most guys either to numbness or towards premature ejaculation, there's another thing that happens, and that's when the woman is starting to rise in pleasure and getting closer and closer to orgasm, and she starts saying, yes. Oh, more. Part of my patterning from the past, I guess you could say, would be to like, oh, she's liking this. Oh, I better speed up. I better amplify the intensity. I better go faster and harder. And sometimes when I've done that, I've even brought you out of the experience of pleasure and orgasm. I get more excited. I'm like, whoa."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3156.01,"endTime":3188.986,"body":"And that's something I hear a lot of guys talk about, well, how do I navigate when my female partner is getting close to orgasm and she's, like, going wild and it pulls me towards ejaculation? I don't want to ejaculate. Well, you don't have to speed up. You don't have to increase your intensity in that moment too. You could just continue to stay consistent with her and let her rise and be present for that without you doing it and pushing yourself towards ejaculation too. And that might actually be the key to having an amazing orgasmic experience."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3189.168,"endTime":3240.76,"body":"Yeah. Oh, my gosh. If you could make. I don't want to say one change, but on this topic of, like, the thing that happens sometimes in so many sexual experiences I've had where I'm like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, okay, we're really getting there. This is feeling good, and I'm expressing whether with its moans or yes, or whatever, and then all of a sudden, the fingers of the cock just speed up and they get really excited. And I'm like, no. And it's like I'm watching my orgasm fade away in the background. I'm like, no. And I lose it. So how to avoid that when a woman or whoever you're with, your partner is starting to be like, yeah, yes. Eliciting signs of arousal building, of orgasm maybe approaching, maybe the orgasm is not even close to there, but it's like arousal is building."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3241.13,"endTime":3292.09,"body":"Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't feel like you need to change it up, change speeds. Be like, oh, let me do it better now. It's like, no, keep doing what you're doing. Keep with that stroking. We go back to the internal cock penetration. Like, yes. Pulsating. Yes. You can get fucking sometimes in that primal space. All of that is great. And when it talks, like, going back to cervical pleasure, and whether it's cervical pleasure, g spot pleasure, all the spots internally that you want to bring more pleasure to. What is really helpful for that is more like consistent, slower pressure. I'll speak specifically to the cervix, actually, because I feel like the cervix is very unique in this, that the cervix really likes more slow, steady, consistent pressure rather than pulsating, hammering. Really a lot of intensity."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3293.07,"endTime":3338.006,"body":"And that looks like cock touching the cervix and holding pressure. I'm showing with my hands. For those of you watching the video or like, gentle pulsations. Firm. Firm. But like, I'm not moving, I should say slow pulsations. And that again, it's kind of like I think of orgasm and these different elemental qualities. It's bringing up this oceanic quality of pleasure that when you build that oceanic quality of pleasure, the ocean is fucking vast. It can expand so wide. And when you, the man, are meeting me there and moving in that slow pace too, and if you will, kind of attune to that pleasure, because again, take your."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3338.028,"endTime":3375.81,"body":"It's almost like transmute the excitement you're feeling around my pleasure building and bring it into your own body by trying to feel the waves of that pleasure moving through my body and bring it into your body, through your hand, through your cock, and meeting me in that too. When you meet me in my pleasure and let it expand into your body too, we're there dancing more fluidly together. And in that place as well, it creates this more, like I said, just like this expansive place. Time slows down, the pulsation of all of the pleasure slows down and expands and grows."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3376.55,"endTime":3396.714,"body":"Beautiful. So we are getting close in here to our hour, and we are still in penetration, but we need to move now towards non penetration, towards what happens after penetration. How do you pause or stop penetration in a good way?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3396.912,"endTime":3453.37,"body":"Yeah, great question. So I immediately think of like, okay, the sexual experience has been brought to a close in some way. We're not moving as quick. Maybe an orgasm happened, et cetera. A couple of things that I think of is like to stay with your partner, the female partner in this scenario that we've been exploring even after her orgasm or her pleasure peak has finished. So that might look like if you're internally with your hands or your cock, you're just going to hold. And it doesn't mean you need to be putting pressure anywhere, but just like, staying there, just holding your flesh there inside of her. And what I love, and I think a lot of women really like this too, is to be either you wait for them to say, like, okay, I'm complete. You can slide out now."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3453.52,"endTime":3495.434,"body":"Or, man, you don't always have to wait for the woman. It's not like you're just like her slave to her pleasure, and you have to stay as long as she wants. Da da. If you're like, I need to move my body, I'm ready to exit to at least say to her, like, hey, I'm going to slowly go ahead and pull out now. Okay? And you can just say it like that. You don't have to ask per se, but just saying it. Giving her a heads up and slowly pulling out your cockier fingers. Slowly. Again, I'm saying slowly. One that helps the thing of staying there until she says she's done. It just feels so nice to be held in that place. To feel like just because my orgasm is complete doesn't mean that I am done getting attention. I'm done being connected with you."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3495.472,"endTime":3523.138,"body":"I'm done with the experience. It's sending a new message to both of you guys'bodies that orgasm isn't necessarily the end goal of sex, but it's just a thing that happens. And now we get to still stay in connection. Or if you're like, you're ready to leave and you want to pull out of her body, to say that in a way to give her heads up again, don't just like, yeah, you don't want to be abrupt about it. It doesn't feel good to have anything pulled out of your pussy super fast. It just doesn't feel good."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3523.224,"endTime":3524.91,"body":"Similarly for the anus."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3524.99,"endTime":3540.694,"body":"Yeah. So I would slowly pull out, and then after pulling out, a nice coming back to where you started, like laying the hand affirm over the vulva, palm over the vulva, right there. Taking some breaths, relaxing both of you all's bodies."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3540.822,"endTime":3553.68,"body":"Yeah, that's such a big one. That's such a big one with you. And then I've experienced that in workshop settings, too. It just creates a nice grounding, safety and connection between people. That's really beautiful."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3554.29,"endTime":3563.006,"body":"And it feels like the temple doors are being closed in some way. It feels like some finish there for me. I'm like, oh, it was just open so much."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3563.028,"endTime":3571.682,"body":"And now it's like, okay, yeah, beautiful. Thank you. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3571.816,"endTime":3610.606,"body":"One more thing I'd say, too, is for both parties involved at that point. Like, you finish, to just look at each other and both of you say thank you. To just always remember, it's such a gift to be able to pleasure each other's bodies, to enter someone's body, to be entered by someone. It's such a gift to offer pleasure to one another. And I just think that's such a beautiful thing to always keep bringing back into your experiences, not taking it for granted, not assuming that we owe each other anything, always honoring one another. Like, thank you for trusting me. Thank you for allowing. Thank you for giving."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3610.788,"endTime":3612.718,"body":"Yeah, thank you."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3612.804,"endTime":3613.998,"body":"Yeah, thank you."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3614.164,"endTime":3662.11,"body":"And it occurred to me there are a couple of the quick bullet points, or asterisks, notes that I want to just share on a couple of things. One of them is that one time you were pegging me, which means fucking me with a strap on. And you, when I was getting really amplified in my pleasure, you sped up too. So I just want to spread awareness. It's a thing that all humans do, like, oh, excitement, go faster, slow down. So I just wanted to name that too. Also, I wanted to be really clear. If you're a man and you need to pull out quickly to avoid ejaculating inside somebody, do you fucking do that? You don't need to say, honey, I need to pull out now. Otherwise, you just do it."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3662.18,"endTime":3669.058,"body":"Good. Asterisks with, like, ten exclamation marks. Pull your cock out. Do not come inside when it's not."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3669.144,"endTime":3705.806,"body":"Consensual, because so many women have been ejaculated inside when they haven't wanted to or even when they've told the guy they didn't want to. And many women are holding trauma in their body around that piece. Yeah, that was the other asterisk bullet point that I wanted to share and, yeah, what a rich episode and a rich conversation. Thank you so much. If you are listening, you have any questions for us, please leave a comment on the YouTube version of this video. That way they're all in the same place. And I'll put all your links in the show notes as well. But where can people find you? And is there anything you have coming up that you're stoked to share with people?"},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3705.908,"endTime":3748.49,"body":"Yeah, you can find me anywhere with Naima Pierce. I have a website, Naima Pierce, Instagram, Naima Pierce, YouTube, Naima Pierce. You can find me there. I'm always putting content up and sharing all sorts of things about this. So please come check out, hang out with me. I love genuinely chatting with y'all. Seriously, send me a message on Instagram. I'm so down to chat. Let's do this. I'm all about that real connection. Things coming up. I can't remember the date off the top of my head, but I have set a date on my end of things for my next pussy temple workshop, which is a beautiful hands on workshop that I guide just about every month. And it's a place where women can come and show up and start to learn their own practice of working with their body with their own hands."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3748.56,"endTime":3769.186,"body":"I guide you through a really powerful, beautiful, ritualistic experience where you get to start unwinding and dearring your pussy. All of what were talking about of how our pussies can hold so much stories, past tensions, traumas, whatever, there. Like, it's an opportunity to come and be with your body in this way of deep reverence without the sexual goals in mind."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3769.288,"endTime":3769.646,"body":"Totally."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3769.678,"endTime":3784.118,"body":"And women leave that workshop all the time, blown away with what they've experienced, how they opened up things in their body. And you also just get a really cool download of pelvic anatomy and understanding so you can keep up leveling your own relationship to your body."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3784.284,"endTime":3786.77,"body":"So if you're a guy listening, share this with your partner."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3786.85,"endTime":3792.598,"body":"Yeah. That's what's upcoming in my world, and I'm always here to work with anybody individually if they're inclined to know more."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3792.684,"endTime":3795.142,"body":"Awesome. Thank you, love."},{"speaker":"Naema Pierce","startTime":3795.276,"endTime":3795.734,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Taylor Johnson","startTime":3795.772,"endTime":3801.21,"body":"Love you. So grateful for you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. See you next time. Bye."}]}