Breakin’ A Hundo at the CVS with Melissa Riddle

Mary and Melissa are fresh off a DJ showcase and ready to debrief. They dive into how T&J has evolved, why collaboration is essential, and touch on capitalism’s ensh*tifcation of everything. They also unpack the post-pandemic reality of rebuilding strong systems without the organic training opportunities they once relied on, and how they’ve adapted to maintain high standards.

Have a question or thought for Mary? Leave us a voicemail for your chance to be featured on the show: https://www.allupinmyladybusiness.com/voicemail/

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Learn more about A Mary Nisi Production: www.amarynisiproduction.com

Find your next DJ at Toast & Jam: toastandjamdjs.com

Launch your DJ business with the Toast & Jam Lab: lab.toastandjamdjs.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:15

My business is your business. It's all up in my lady business with me. Very neatly. Welcome to All Up in My Lady Business. Today I'm uh back on with uh Melissa, the reason for the season, who's giving like the skull cap. Did you make that? I didn't make this one, no. Which is weird because you make a lot of great stuff. I do. Uh, but it was giving Captain Turbot vibes.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Yes. I mean, this is definitely like remember when I came in the office the other day and I was like, uh, I'm going for like kindergarten or kindergarten teacher on an island outside of Maine.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Um, I like to say that my that my style is middle school art teacher. I probably should cross it with something because I'm not very I'm not very artistic. But um glad to have.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Also, is it that you're not very artistic?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Oh, well, I I mean I I can't use my hands to make art.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Um I'll chew on that.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Why don't you think that's true? That you can't use your hands to make art? Oh, I mean, I okay, all right. I see what you're saying. I I see what you're saying. I have a I have a I have a sewing machine right back there. I can make yeah, sure, I guess, yes. Okay. Uh basically what's happening right here is I'm uh I'm um devaluing uh historically women's work.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah. No, uh go ahead and take that back because it's a lie. Anyway. Bring it back. Sing it back. And take any more songs after yesterday. Like I need like a whole just complete brain's I mean it was great.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Like my brain is we should talk about it a little bit, what happened yesterday. But um Melissa, I'm getting good feedback about our the first episode of You has aired. And so it's it's in the ether, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Well, I mean, I knew it had aired, but I'm surprised about the the positive feedback having to do with my involvement in any way, shape, or form.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Oh my god, Melissa. Look at this lack of self-esteem that we were both operating within.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Now listen, I okay, touche, but also like I don't know, whatever. This is episode five, four of us doing this. I uh Paul, uh DJ Paul Simpson, shout out if you're listening. Um said that he listened to it and I didn't even know how to respond. I was thinking to myself, like, as soon as the words leave my face, I have forgotten what they were. And so uh without re-listening, which I haven't done, I have I have no idea what he's responding to in any way.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Uh my friend Mark Masters, shout out Mark Masters. He's always been he's been he's been such a great listener. I he's like so nice to me about the little podcast. And he's a podcaster too, and a very well-respected music journalist. Uh, and he he really enjoyed uh the prints and the resolution. So, you know, uh we uh we're clever. Spread the clever. Um, but uh if there's anything we excel at, it's pun making. It truly, it truly is. So I do think we may should talk about the training process and how um yesterday, because that was that was cool. Do you want to talk about that?

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Yeah, last night in Pillow Talk in the Riddle House, it was all about just like yesterday being a strong example of the transformation of our processes and how beautiful things can go when everyone is committed to their part in the process. And I think that there I still have the right seats. Yeah. I think I was still holding on to some skepticism or just like, you know, if I don't control this with an inch of its life, the possibility of it going right is like da-da-da-da. Um, just in my head, you know, my internal dialogue. And uh, I didn't let the internal dialogue influence my behavior, you know. I still let I've been like, nope, you know, and the and the spirit of the let them of it all. I'm like, you know, they we've made a determination and it all went so be better, better than if I had inserted myself in any way.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Yeah. The very the the I don't agree with that. I feel like had you inserted yourself and I was staying. It's wax from uh I I got I got a bikini wax before I got on this call. Um from candle making.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Okay, you guys.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

No, no, no, no, no. I was I'm going to Panama on Saturday. I can't, I can't look like I've got bad things happening down there. Anyway, yeah, it all went great. Let's tell them what it was. So uh so basically, um I guess we're gonna fast forward, I guess, through the timeline. Historically, so the process of getting DJs to come and work for me at Toast and Jam started off with obviously just me. And then I had quickly needed more DJs because I was getting more leads than I could handle. This is 2006, by the time I had to start adding people in. I started If I launched in November of 2005, and by March of 2006, I was like, I can't do this alone anymore. And uh I had recruited and I didn't I wanted to make sure that anybody who worked for me wasn't coming in with bad habits. So I didn't want to hire anybody who'd been a DJ before. And so, and I also didn't know many DJs. Like I don't live in DJ culture, I don't go to the hire ladies, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:34

You were trying to like represent, and there wasn't a huge population of ready. Women, yeah, women ready ready to join your company right out of the gate.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Yeah. So I um I initially recruited Kate and Rachel, who were um DJs and WLEW, which was the first radio station that I'd worked on. And I may have already told this story, but uh I I had met them at this place called the Pizza Bar, which went on to be the Continental, and I think it might be called something else now. Um, but I wasn't even sure which one was Kate or Rachel when I met with them, and I still didn't know after the meeting. But anyway, I brought them in and I I basically just had them shadow me at weddings and I told them exactly how I do things, and then they just did that. I for you know, until I had Sebastian, I was able to train every DJ that came because I was still doing doing, you know, between 40 and 60 weddings a year at that point, which is not even that many.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

I mean, it is a lot, and it is a lot, but but not not a lot compared to what y'all were doing back then, like, which was a murderous, insane number of weddings, double bangers, triple bangers, like all through wedding seasons.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

So yeah, yeah. I mean, we were we did too many weddings back then. So I was I had my hand in training everybody. And then once I had um uh kind of stepped back more after I had Sebastian, I wasn't doing as many weddings, so I didn't have any as many opportunities to train people. You know, I would take, I would take a new DJ every single time I DJ'd because there were so few events and I would get the people and I would so I would get some element of it, but everybody there was so trained by me that it was very easy to go, like just go out with Allie or go out with other people. And they would still, it would all be very similar to what I was doing.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

And then I would say, like, you know, not to interject, but just from what I've learned for the past few years, is that like it wasn't so much as like they needed to like copy you exactly. It was more about like sort of the core values of the company, right? And like making sure that you were doing these like certain things that are things that you would think of until you did them wrong, and everyone was sort of able to benefit from you telling them in advance this is why you you want to do it this way, because you know, of this. And then people, of course, develop their own sort of voice and how they do it. Um, but the core essence of like showing somebody how to use a microphone is so that they don't get up there and then make you look bad and make themselves look bad, and everybody in the room be like, what? Um so anyway, so like degrees of separation away from Mary for a long time were um, you know, pretty you could trust that like if you had been trained by somebody who was trained by you, that the core message was getting through and you might do it a little bit differently, but that as long as that core core aspect of the training was um at you know, yeah, driving it, that it was working.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

And the proof was in the pudding, as they say, because we continued to get great reviews, like we continued to operate as if I was the person that was doing all the training, so so I knew that it was all going well. And then um COVID. COVID and we we just kind of lost the plot a bit just because we were trying so hard just to keep our heads above water. And I don't even took anybody out with me. I don't think I I must have, I must have taken some people out here and there, but no one I I wasn't doing any training and um the the the people that were that were mostly training were people that didn't that weren't even trained by me. I was just kind of crossing my fingers and hoping that things were going.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Uh yeah at that point.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

And and so basically now it's gobbled, right? Yeah, there was a lot of gobbledygook on good going on, and then we didn't hire anybody for god two years. Yeah, I think we hired I don't think we hired a DJ for two years. And so, you know, you have people that age out of the system, and so we had people that were leaving the company, some people, you know, a lot of people there were people that left. And uh and it was always good. I would I mean for the most part, there's some people that left. I wish it would k it would kill to have them back in my heart my life, but people move on. Anyway, my point is is that we didn't we didn't hire for two years and um the DJs that were coming in weren't necessarily trained by me.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

And so when I realized and we started getting a bunch of complaints, and that was the that was the real I wanna I'll I'll soften that by saying a bunch of complaints relative to the number of complaints we had ever gotten. It's still a pretty small number of complaints relative to the number of events we're throwing annually, but just way more than we had ever Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

I mean we would usually get like a complaint a year, and it was usually kind of bullshit. Yeah. And now we were getting like five or ten, and which is like, and that I don't deal well with that kind of feedback. And most of those complaints were bullshit, but some of them had some grains of truth in them. And then I started getting panicky about um the people that were out there representing the company.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

And so you learn what the complaint was about and be like, wait a second, we shouldn't be doing this this way, you know, at all. And granted, like, you know, there was always, I think, some way that you could see what the DJ was thinking and why they did what they did. It wasn't like just gross negligence, like ever.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

And it never was. Never I've never had a client where I felt like the DJ was just like didn't care. It was like it was more like, how did why did that even happen?

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Easy things that if they had been trained properly, likely would not have occurred. And so sometimes those things had to kind of come through to realize like, wait a second, this shouldn't be happening if they were doing it this way that is actually the process that it should be done.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Well, and you know, and you know, and not to mention that we had to do some kind of soul searching on our side too, because you know, we we also realized that when we did like a postmortem on what happened, you know, there were things that we could have done in the sales process that would have alleviated a lot of these problems. And so, like this kind of goes back to like my training in general, comes from a place of like, I am very much, if I do something wrong once, I never want to do it wrong again. And so I always want to figure out what I did wrong and so I can correct it so it never happens again. Some people don't do that, and that's you know, they just want to keep doing making the same mistakes over and over again and then being being surprised why it keeps happening. And I'm I just I don't I don't operate that way. And so to do the postmortem on how we were doing things wrong once we brought the sales in-house was you know, realizing that, you know, a couple of the weddings we had complaints on had less than 80 people, you know, or uh on Sunday afternoon. And the thing is to one one person in the coupling, you know. Well, that's that's a difference. Being in a meeting with a client and saying, we're gonna give you an absolute rager, and it's like, how many people are coming? 75. Whoo, uh, how many, what's the what's a friends versus family? Oh, 85% family and you know, 15% friends. Uh and it's like, okay, well, that not that that's impossible to turn into a rager, but it's a little bit harder. Setting expectations. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

And then my game.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

But the really good point was when you kind of raised there, which was that both cup both halves of the couple weren't in attendance. So if both people aren't in the meeting with the DJ, then one person is the union rep for the for the whole relationship. And, you know, to be fair, for the most part, when people are getting married, they've only been together, I would say three years, maybe five years.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Yeah. Three to five.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

And so you can learn, you learn a lot about a person in those five years, but you don't learn everything. And you certainly aren't spending that much time with their family. And you aren't, you aren't looking at their family through the lens of are these people fun? Or, you know, they you they had like the bride hasn't gone to 80 million weddings with the groom side of the family and doesn't know that come on, Eileen is like, you have to play it. You know, so if one person is there and they think they know this person so well, they we don't need the other person there. We only need the one. And that just is patently untrue because usually what happens is you get to the wedding, the groom hasn't been at any of the meetings, and all of a sudden it's like, you know, they get to like the last 10 minutes of the wedding, and it's like, wait, they haven't played Come and Eileen yet. And it's like, well, we didn't, we didn't know that was a must play, you know? And so, but instead of getting mad at the the half the half of the couple that was making all these decisions to try to get the other person to be to participate more, we then become the problem because we didn't read the client's mind. And so you really need to have both people there in order to be able to get all the information that you need in order to make that happen and make that that event go well.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

So we learned that in in the analysis and then immediately incorporated those um, you know, that feedback and that, you know, setting that expectation with our couples because they might not realize that, right? So the table is the expertise and the, you know, the recommendations that are gonna help them get the wedding that they want. And one of those is uh group participation is, you know, key to success.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah. So and I think also that I just think I think I think we've talked about this before, but just I feel like this is just a more complainy generation that, you know, they they're they're willing to, you know, things that wouldn't have been that big of a deal. I think that they're just, you know, you're you're encouraged to write a review about the role of toilet paper you bought on Amazon. So like they assume that everybody wants their opinion on everything. True.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

And I always think, I mean, whatever feedback we've ever gotten, positive or negative, I think always gives us something to reflect on and something to look at and be like, is this something that we should adjust or is this an you know a fringe, you know, case? But good and bad feedback is or you know, bad feedback, I think it's good feedback. It's all yeah, it's all good, but it really I think started to make us realize like what we expected was our product out there and the world wasn't exactly living up to uh in some cases what we hoped. And so trying to like refine the the training and um and so the thing that we've been talking about, right, was yesterday we held our first training showcase at the joint.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

I finally was able to find a an excellent DJ manager that um understood the assignment. Chris, gee, love him so much. And uh he basically spent the last, I guess we hired most of those people in March or April. Yeah, it's baffling to me, but that it's already been that, you know, um and so we we uh we got to um we used a venue that we love that we work at all the time, joinery. Uh shout out Shay. I love that. And we so Chris spent the last eight months training these DJs and getting them all up and running. And then we did I we'd never done anything like this before. And I was like, because I I just needed to like, you know, it's like I remember going to see a DJ and their their speakers were slightly they weren't level. And I'm like, how did that happen? Like, not level speakers is uh it's just like little things where I'm like, how did how did you know? So then I realized people aren't thinking as globally as I need them to. So we had Chris do all this training, they've been all just working really hard. And then yesterday we did this thing where we got the venue and then they had to come in, set their gear up. I gotta see what their gear looks like, I gotta see how they set their gear up, what does the table look like when they've done, when they're done setting it up, what do they think looks good? Uh, and then what I what actually looks good as far as I'm concerned. And then we did fake, they had to line us up this fake wedding party, um, and then introduce this fake wedding party into the room, and then go into the first dance, and then uh do a speech and then go into the parent dance, and then they had to spin like 10 to 15 minutes of a dance set that you would play for general dancing. And they had a lot of freedom on the music to choose. Uh, and I gotta say, they all they all basically killed it.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

I danced my butt off. We danced all day long. Uh, it was so fun. Um, and it was just like, you know, you talk frequently about how, you know, COVID was kind of the end of the organic training, right? Like of people just being in the same room and kind of learning how to have a first meeting with a couple, how to, you know, do certain things, what songs are working on dance floors, what's starting to get stale, and just those conversations just flowing and not being scheduled and programmed and whatever. And yesterday was like, I think, aside from the the staff meetings and the the bass camps and the kind of uh for those who don't know what a bass camp is for toast and jam, like our ongoing training, intermittent, you know, meetings.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

We do a it's like a monthly get together at the office where um is it is B A Stopical B-A-S-S-B-A-S-S camp based. And we do like weird skill shares at those.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So we esoteric weird mixing, you know, things. I learned so much. But yeah, so it was the first time that I had seen sort of that like I the highlight for me was Jennifer getting there and then Siobhan was setting up, and then like Jennifer ran over and gave Siobhan a hug. And I know it really did like touch my heart because I was just like, this is what's so great, is just like, you know, you start this journey with like this cohort of people, and you're all kind of learning a new thing. And like I've felt that kind of camaraderie in in my life, and I know how great that is when it's genuine and you feel like you have these people around that are really meant to be there to support you and help you and share an experience. And those two, you know, running together and kind of giving each other a hug was just really like the the cherry on the training Sunday yesterday. Um and in general, just getting to be around everybody and you and Chris being, you know, your mate of honor speeches for Chris and you know, all of the hilarious loops that you threw them for at various stages. And yeah, it was just like it, it it was a real window into what's possible when, again, everybody's just kind of in the right mindset, has the same goals, sharing the same values around what they're doing, um, and genuinely feeling like supported and there's no ego and like you're not coming at this with like a, you know, I don't know. Just everybody had such a great attitude.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

It was so well, and I just had to be nitpicky. Like that's the thing, is like I there was no, there really weren't any like giant red flags. It was like my, you know, it was very nitpicky, like, you know, make sure your tablecloth is straight. And, you know, like, you know, like when we do introductions, like, you know, well, this is a little more details than Pad will want to have, but like it was kind of like where like where's the destination that they're gonna walk to when they walk into the room doing introductions? Like, you know, and they'd be like, I don't know. And I'm like, well, you need to know. Like you need to like, I make it up, you know, even if you don't know, just say it with authority and they'll do it. Like they are just sheep at this thing and they just need you to like get them through the night until you can get to the dance party. And a lot of the training that, you know, that I that I want to put the DJs through this they understand is that, you know, I don't, I don't think of like the wedding as something like they're kind of just rolling their eyes and looking at their watch until the dance set starts. Like every single part of the night is important because if any part of that night goes wrong, it's gonna fuck up the dance party. And so if you, you know, you need, you know, the ceremony has to happen, cocktail has to happen, introductions, cake cutting, all these little things that have to happen. And you have to be able to schedule those things in. But if one goes wrong, it sets off a what do they call that?

SPEAKER_00 21:43

For the uh chain reaction. Um a chain reaction for everyone, the couple, for the DJ, because now you're stressed, like caterer, photographer. Yeah. So um it is a you know, a huge amount of of response. Responsibility, but I thought yesterday was just like, I don't know, the best example of how you can kind of show up and and and prime them for what these like little mistakes are just in doing it in real time, I think just calibrates your ability to anticipate. You know, you're like, okay, wait, I'm lining people up. Now I'm always gonna see Mary in my head, you know, holding the microphone down by her side when she's giving her speech, you know, and like remember like, no, you have to put it, you know, up to your face. It was also kind of nice to see just like the continuity of everybody kind of had the same message about how to hold a microphone, which I suppose has to do with there is really one way that you should be holding a microphone, but uh that they all knew what that was and were able to communicate it uh was fun. Uh I was my my other uh highlight just for myself was when we were doing the mock lineups uh for being introduced into the reception as the bridal party uh was getting assigned Jinx monsoon uh and then kicking her to the curb and getting Trevor Lawrence instead. And then that ended up, you know, being the nice like, oh wait, you know, this could happen. You could end up getting a different groomsman, you know, or person assigned, you know, to you to walk out to.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

So uh I I or you know, walking up and being like, you need to announce the shuttles that are gonna be coming every 15 minutes, or you know, uh with the shuttle.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Yeah. Or, you know, I'm not tired, are you tired? But in 45 minutes, the shuttle is coming.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Uh or I mean I but I will say also, like, I I tried throwing a bokeh toss on to one of the DJs. I'm like, oh, we're doing a bokeh toss now. And they've never seen one. And so, and then Chris is like, I didn't train them on that because we've never, I we never have them. And I'm like, but you might. And so you know, kind of realizing like even like holes like that, like, do I want to have to train them how to do bokeh toss? No, I don't want to have to, but someone's gonna want it, you know. It's like money dances, like we could have we could have sprung a money dance on them, which we haven't, you know, we haven't done that in a long time either.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

But hopefully it's coming out of the meetings that they have those kinds of things in mind, like uh Chris's wedding this weekend with the uh bride getting kidnapped during the reception, uh and and that whole setup.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

I didn't hear about that.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

A Romanian tradition that the bride gets kidnapped during the reception. And then I'm gonna get this totally wrong, but what I remember him saying, what how I remember him saying it was that like then the bride's family like grills the groom on questions about her, and if he like gets them right, he like earns her back.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

It'd be funny if like if he gets them wrong, she goes to the gulag. Like that seems very like Eastern block to be like, you know, in in Romania, wedding gets you. And you know, I that's funny. I did not know that.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

I've never seen yeah. So he, you know, he found that out early on, so now he knows, you know, what to expect and that it's not that no one's getting really kidnapped. I mean, in this day and age, uh, that could happen. Uh so I'm glad he knows it's uh performative tradition as opposed to uh real life um just um but basically it we did hear the same songs over and over again, which was kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

But I mean not really interesting. I mean, there's music that everyone's playing right now. Like I heard gimme, gimme, gimme a lot yesterday. Yeah. But then I also got to hear some songs I haven't heard in a long time, and I was like, I need to put that in my set. Can you guess what my favorite was?

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Amy did it.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Oh, common people, pulp. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

It was just like a nice break. We didn't really hear much kind of like, you know, dance floor appropriate, like early 2000s, you know, Brit pop.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Or even just like indie-ish stuff, you know, like I mean, you know, it was super fun. Uh, but but basically this the moral of the story for me was uh was I trusted Chris. I didn't really, I didn't really insert myself too much into it. He is a walking green flag, so I figured like whatever he is gonna be showing people was going to be accurate. And we were, I was correct in doing that. And I let him do it, which was your uh you wanted me your resolution for me was to like let go and let people do things. So that I felt great after that day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

And um our Molly, I guess she's not exclusively ours, joinery. But she's mine, but she's mine. But yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Uh just like I don't know. Our salesperson. She's our salesperson. And so part of this was so that Melissa and Ml and Molly, who are salespeople, um, so to speak, knows what those DJs are good at so that when they're in the meetings and the client says specific things, then we know, you know, at least have a sense of the how people can how adaptable you know they are on certain topics.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Or you may get I've said it a million times, but that I always feel like if you if I use like design as an example, like if you get with an interior designer who shares your same sense of personal style, you're more likely to get a much more sort of creative outcome than if you know you're trying to do a country kitchen and a contemporary person. So it's like uh it just makes sense to be able to put couples with people who not our DJs are ultimately super versatile and we have enough runway for them to get to learn anything. But if you can make a match with somebody where they just already naturally get you and what you're after, then and that DJ is available to me. That's just the recipe for magic. So yeah, yesterday was kind of getting to know everybody on a performance level. What do they sound like? What's their MC style? Are they smooth? Are they high energy? And then just have more tools to be able to make great um great matches and have great collaborations between our couples and our DJs.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Yeah. I mean, I I I think that it's important for any business owner to kind of have that kind of like in-depth knowledge of like what is actually happening in it's like it's the difference between working like on the business and in the business, which you want to be working on it and not in it, is for what I've been basically taught since I started, you know, doing business-y things. And because, you know, it's like it's interesting because I think like I was actually when I was at the waxer today, me and Gina were having a a pretty funny kind of not funny, we were very much talking about what's going on in the world right now. And she was telling me that she saw a TikTok that this woman was like, listen to this. And she was calling her insurance company to get a, you know, talk to them about something. And they it literally said, All of our agents are AI. If you want to talk to a human, you have to pay five dollars to talk to a human at the insurance company that you're paying a thousand dollars a month for. Like, and it's like the inshidification, the naked capitalism. Like everyone is the same. We're all just a number and a dollar sign to them. And, you know, it's like small business owners don't have that. I mean, they shouldn't have that kind of one size fits all. They actually can't because we're actually seeing our clients in the face, and we see our clients in the face uh and punching them. Uh, and uh and can't, you can't be that much of a shithead when you are dealing on the ground. And I think that's part of why isn't why they keep gobbling like private equity keeps coming in and gobbling up all these businesses, because then they can make them as uniform and shitty as possible. So then nobody really has to reach for anything if everybody's just kind of operating in this middle place where you know the client doesn't matter. If they're if if you're not gonna pay for it, somebody else will. Like, I don't I don't know how you can look yourself in the eye and own and own a business and be okay with that.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Yeah. Um, no, it's it's all pretty shocking. Uh I had a a a personal call with State Farm this morning that was also just like uh incredibly unpleasant. And I I am glad that our values are such that we we know what our what we're bringing to the party for our couples, no, you know, I guess pun intended. And even like when we were doing our a review with our lovely Lorraine Lorraine last week, uh just like sort of putting, you know, even like thinking about what this company looks like in 10 years and it really being about just being able to keep doing what we're doing the way that we're doing it, and we're not reaching for some crazy brass ring that, you know, is like gross, a gross brass ring, you know, or just because that's what everybody says success is, is having more and more, more, more, more, more, more.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Yeah, it's really just endless, endless growth.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

It's like, when is enough enough? And also like, what are the what do you have to trade off for that kind of what do you have to trade, what do you have to trade off for that growth? Because, you know, it's it, you know, it's like I go back to that the douche nozzle that owns um Home Depot uh when I saw him at that conference. And the guy, he's like, Oh, I love going into stores and you know, we really are a family and but-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, he feels, I don't know if this is like slander for me to say, but he seems like the kind of guy that's like, killed a hooker. Like he has like, he has like killed a hooker energy about him. And it's like, have you been to one of your stores, sir? Have you been to one of your stores? Like, nobody cares. Nobody, and if you find somebody that cares, you feel like you want to go up to the manager and be like, I just had a very good interaction with one of your people. And they're like, What did they do? And I'm like, they said please and thank you.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

And that is about the level of They actually helped me find, you know, instead of just pointing to the aisle and the thing, they actually like took me over and showed me exactly where I was or whatever. Even that's kind of, I guess, above and beyond. But it is sort of fascinating how the the exception has now become it being good service as opposed to the exception being bad service.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

It's just so nice to like because that feels sort of uncommon now, the fact that just 98% of the time it's gonna be spot on and perfect and wonderful and good, they'll like be around people who have that same level of, you know, commitment and drive. I don't, you know, I don't sit up and work on spreadsheets to try to help keep things organized and keep everybody, you know, living up to their availability and capacity and following up on leads and stuff just for for S and Gs. I want all of our people to be working as much as they want to. I know you want this too. And if we can just have everybody out there making dance floors amazing for as long as we can, you know, to do it the way that just feels good to us, which is not being insanely, you know, overpriced or not doing what everybody else does and just raising prices every year, year over year, just because that's what everybody else is doing. Just really look at our look inward instead of outward for what makes sense for us as a business.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Well, and I just don't want to price out everybody that is cool because the cool people will make this job, you know, worth worth doing. And so to go back to the showcase, it's like, you know, it's part of the pivoting as a business owner where I'm like, okay, I in order for me to train people the way I used to train them, I have to do 40, 50 events a year. And I'm not and I'm not doing that. So how do I how can I make sure that I am getting the people out there that are going to be operating at the level I want them to operate at? And it's like, okay, we came up, we we didn't really come up with the idea for the for truly getting the showcase kind of together until like three months ago, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Yeah, we were kind of like trying to do them in the office and like setting that up and just figuring out how logistically that was gonna be really weird and hard. And not actually that, not not that illustrative of really loading in and loading out of a venue and that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

So And so, you know, we we kind of kept changing what it was gonna be. I mean, you know, and it's like I and I I think it was frustrating for some people because I was kind of changing the rules and kind of what I wanted to have from it, but then I had to kind of keep thinking through like, okay, how am I gonna know if they are good at MCing? How am I gonna know that they are good at DJing? You know, how how will I know that, you know, they're gonna be Houston right now. And then I said, How will I know? What's crazy? I I played that song on Friday night. I DJ'd. I had a hot flash dance at space on Friday night. The most came just a few days ago. Like we have been through so much in like less than a week. Less than a week, yeah. And it was so magical. Uh, but I did get to play How Will I Know, which I've never played, which is like because you know, it's a secondary single and uh those don't they don't always hit, but they did that night. They sure did. But I do think that like it's important to create new systems, figure out how to solve them. And now I feel like I could never be a part of a hiring process again, and I think that I would still feel comfortable that we would still be getting the quality and the abilities out of out of the people that we're bringing on. Likewise.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

Yeah. I mean, again, I I I think you always sort of appro not you like us or just in general, like the royal you. Yes, the kind of like fear that you live in when your business is based on like talent and people like going out and being able to do a thing, right? And you're always like, like the number of events we can do is related to how many DJs we have, but we need all of these DJs to be of a certain caliber so that we can live up to what we're telling clients in houses what's gonna happen at their wedding. And, you know, if so-and-so leaves, then that would be like the most tragic thing ever. And it would be just because we would freaking miss them. But like I had to go through sort of like this journey of like this nice big hiring cohort and proving, you know, just in my own experience, that like, no, there's like really cool, awesome people that are capable and talented and driven and get it and want to do it. And like, as long as we keep trying to make it an awesome place to work, there are gonna be people that have those skills that wanna work for us and with us too. And so being able to have that much like interaction, even though Chris has, you know, a ton more than than you and I, but just seeing them, seeing all of that just out in the open, um, really seeing them do it and having a good time doing it too, because that's I think something that is a differentiator for toast and jam is like we're not yammering on the mic once the dance floor gets going, but we're engaged and it's like being able to see that people can, you know, really cross the the deck as it were, you know, to engage with people, but not in a um, you know, a cheesy way. The third wall. Fourth wall? What is it? What are they saying? The fourth one.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

I mean, you need four walls to make a room. Really?

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Yeah. Um, but yeah, so anyway, it couldn't have been more what I was hoping it was going to be. Uh if anything, it was it was more and just see everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

It was better than I thought it was gonna be. I was I I'm not gonna lie, I was dreading it. I was dreading, I was yeah, I was dreading it pretty hardcore. Because I didn't want to like, you know, but I it was if it went badly, it was that would have been really bad. And I I know that's obvious, but like I'd be like, fuck.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

I just got eight people have no expectation that it would be bad. Maybe that's what made me look forward to it.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

I mean, anyway, I was wondering.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

It's kind of part of the thing where you also think that I'm I think I think I'm the only person that can do everything perfectly.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

And so it's nice when I'm not, so then I can stop thinking about that and stop worrying about it.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

If it was a DJEP exam or something, maybe I would have been a little more breath holdy about the whole situation. But yeah, I mostly was like, can't everybody have, you know, show me just be natural, show me that they have a can have a good time and then pick good songs. And I feel like everybody really did that uh with great success. Um and they all had good looking equipment. I'm still like gonna want Siobhan's microphones, like immediately those things were.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Siobhan's microphone has this like LED thing white and has like an LED at the bottom that's like a glowing kind of thing going.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Yeah, two of them, like sew into it. Yeah. But yeah, in general, I think it was just spectacular. I don't know if we'll ever I mean we had so many newbies to go through that it probably won't might not have the need to do that in quite such an event again. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Probably not eight, probably not eight people at once, but I do think that um I would like I I do think we should have more like hiring more people. So hey, people out there, if you are looking for uh extra money or a job change and you live in the Chicagoland area, but you know what's interesting is that like in the early days it was only women, and then I had one guy, and he was like my one guy for the first like nine years that we were in existence, and then I slowly added a couple, like one or two more dudes at a time, and then now we got a lot of dudes.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

You say that, and I feel like we have we just have like the same amount. We have like have we're very even Steven. And then also to get out of the binary, uh sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

We do have non-binary and we do have trans. I mean, we've got it, we've got the a whole spectrum in there, but I want more of them. And what's interesting is that um the Trump administration has made it so that you can't legally use DEI in your hiring. Yeah, even if you want so yeah, so I can't even say like women and BIPOC people are encouraged to apply because that looks like I am discriminating against white guys. And uh wow, it's uh yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 40:04

Uh but all that said, I mean, I think anyway, even though it gets us in it might get us in trouble still.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

But yeah, still if you happen to be a woman or a non-binary or not white, we really want you to.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

And also, like if you don't want to DJ, but you love being at events and engaging with people, we have many additional services that uh our photo booths are all operated by wonderful hosts. We call PBJs, photo booth jockeys, and we do a lot of lighting and stuff these days, and and are always, you know, the the the performance being genuine, showing up and really, you know, it's the word I'm looking for, like engaged, I guess, is the most important part of it all to me. It's like the kind of job that you pick and you just want to like push buttons. Like you have to want to engage with people.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

Yeah, it's like if it's a side job, it's like a side job to your soulless corporate job where you, you know, want to have uh interaction with humans on the other side. And I think that um, I don't know. It made me yesterday made me like I was like, I can't believe this is mine. There was a you know, that like everything was like working out so nicely and it just every it was like this is my company. Hmm, get this.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

Shout out to the joinery for always, you know, like sort of being up for the kind of stuff that we you know want to do. And obviously we work there a ton, so it's awesome to like have that, yeah. They'll have any any of the DJs from yesterday will have a leg up man on their first joinery wedding, you know, because they have already been there and seen the lay of the land and know where the bathrooms are. So yeah. You know, one time, this is a horrible story.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

I don't even know if I should tell it. Is it about the joinery? I was at an event as a guest at the joinery once, and I had some uh gastrointestinal distress in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

The first time you and I were at an industry event together. Was it the LA meeting?

SPEAKER_01 42:05

Yes. And I like you disappeared for a long time. And then the toilet broke. And I and I was like, I have never, I was like Googling plumbing on a you know, on a short notice, learning how to do things. I was taking it was worse. And I'm I had to basically go like I I oh my god, it was the worst. And I had to like go to shade.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

I need water. You wanted a bucket of water to be able to pour into the toilet to try to help it complete its process.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

Force it, force it. Did that work? I didn't yeah, it didn't work.

SPEAKER_00 42:41

I want to say, like, I had started in I don't think you just you tried that or we tried, and then it was just kind of like I'm walking away. It is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

I think I think I remember found, I think I'm mountain shea, and I was like, I'm sorry, whatever what's in there is my fault. I owned up to it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Yeah, yes, yeah. No, I um but I I I smelt it and dealt it. And then took accountability for it. But I remember just leaving that after like, you know, only having worked with you for like a couple of months at the time and being like, this is this is we're gonna have fun. If nothing else, this is gonna be a good time.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Or Mary lives in a boundaryless world. Well, she'll just tell me whatever she needs to tell. Two things can be true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

Um, but yeah, so joinery bathrooms, deep cut. But yeah, so I really know no lip service when I say I am so optimistic and just thankful for the team that we've built over the past couple of years with, you know, just like Molly, you know, jumping in at the end of the night to like grab lights and start packing them up and just feeling that kind of like investment and support, even just like the little stuff that you wouldn't really think of. you know, just just being so happy that there are so many people on our team that just kind of they see and do instead of like see and then waffle and be like should I or uh or ask for help, you know, like I just feel like that's such a I don't know it's my love language is you know the being able to kind of you know like like Josh, our wonderful um social media content friend uh you know like getting pulled over to do the job I was there to do which was observe DJs um but trying to capture a lot of other stuff and instead of waiting for me to like carry all the backdrops over to the new place we were gonna do photo booth stuff he's just picking up the backdrops and carrying them over. You know like that's just the stuff that really really speaks to me.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Well and it's I think it's a little bit it's a little bit lost right now because nobody like I I saw this Reddit post that was or whatever a meme or something somewhere that basically said like you know I think everyone's so mad right now and I mean for obvious political reasons but but I think like like everybody kind of feels like everything's a scam. Like it feels like every time I spend money anywhere I know I'm paying more for it than I should or you know I'm getting less for more money or I'm paying more and I'm getting less. Like we God we God we got like frozen salmon. Yeah like we we got frozen salmon like you know you can get like a box or a pack of like six salmon plays that are like sealed in like plastic chunks. And usually they're like six and you know six or seven inches long. You know like they're like you know and it was it was five inches if it was a day. And I have so many jokes I could make right now. But it was like it was just it was barely even a meal.

SPEAKER_00 45:45

I guess this is all just turning if you're watching you're really getting a lot of more content than you would be getting on the on the audio version of this right now. And my face is bright right. And now her face is bright right in fact. But yeah or like just having to pay attention to like the ounces on things like as a as a gluten free consumer um you know it's like not only is it twice the cost but it's four ounces less than the box of pasta that's next to it you know and um now the rest of the world is enjoying you know that that version of um you know just everything being more expensive.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I feel like I've I've been buying specialty products for a long time and now my specialty products are also just like you know eight dollars for my bread is eight dollars you know yeah oh I I went to CVS today to get stuff for I'm for my trip to Panama and I was just buying like toothpaste and you know travel size of things and shampoo and it was $96. And I'm like I don't think I've ever spent more than like $32 at a CVS in my life.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

Uh and so I guess the Hundo at the CVS is definitely like you are buying some buying some shit at least back in the day.

SPEAKER_01 46:57

Well part of the problem is that I'm not I don't know if CVS is any better. I don't know what their parent corporation is or what their political situations are but I've very done a v relatively good job of avoiding target.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

And so it's like you know you do wind up paying a little bit more to drugstore than you're gonna pay in a giant you gotta get on that um like Walgreens uh or or CVS whichever one it is uh they have a really good app with coupons on it. That's kind of the the deal you gotta do there. There's always some kind of like get 10 off 40 and it's just like uh anything, you know, and then it's like that's 25% of your forty dollar purchase anyway.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

Yeah so I guess but the thing is that you have episode but the fact that you have to get the app in order to get the discount is you know it's like it's just screwing over poor people because they whatever anyway.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

What's next on the horizon for us Mary? I mean we've kind of gotten through this January engagement season is upon us. I think we have like 10 near sold out dates which is exciting and also terrifying. I need those eight DJs to uh cross the Rubicon into booking so that we can they're crossing as we speak. But uh yeah it feels like the DJ showcase was really kind of the end of this big phase of push for new talent and kind of restructuring things a bit like going back to like putting a lot of this to paper, right? Like we did all of our experience uh experiments we figured out what works and now we need to get it in a place we can refer to it if this ever comes up again so that we don't have to you know yeah that was always my my weakness was being able to like I would do things and I would do them great and do everything would go and I just would never document it.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

And so it's it's funny when things go badly I fucking go to the ends of the earth to figure out like why it happened and I'm gonna do all I'm gonna change my contract and I'm gonna, you know, hire a new lawyer like I will do anything when things go wrong. But when things go great I'm like that went great let's just let the let's just let that exist in stone thing. I'm never gonna write down how we did it and uh I'll never be able to 100% replicate it but I'll be I'll do something similar. It'll be cool. Uh and so this is the great thing this is the beauty of of a having a Melissa in your world is that uh she she will actually take the take it take it to 11 and uh document that shit.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

I'm all for not having to uh start from the beginning which is funny because like if I'm gonna make something I'm always using a recipe because I'm like somebody else has figured out how to do this properly why would I you know go rogue and then potentially whatever and that's how I know you're not Italian. Yeah I'm definitely not Italian. I might be Romanian I don't really know actually uh I might have been at some point. But yeah it's like I I like to at least have a starting place, you know, as a reference point for uh DJ Showcase 2.0 we might not you know do it exactly the same way but at least we'll know what we did before and can make an educated decision about whether we want to deviate or replicate. So that is that's how I roll.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Yeah so um well I'm going to Panama this weekend to go to my annual uh yoga retreat. Uh silly Panama my birthday is the week after so my son's bat birthday I'm always real weird about my birthday real weird about my birthday. How am I weird about it? Yeah I mean it's like a it's like a tragedy sinkhole okay my birthday is like I mean I'll just real quick do this and we can deal with in a later episode but like the challenger exploded on my birth my 10th birthday. And then like my parents' divorce was final on my birthday. My dad's died on my 19th birthday I mean the list goes on and my mom got diagnosed with a cancer that ultimately killed her on my something birthday 30 something birthday.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

So yeah it's like one of these things like kind of a breath holdy shoe dropy kind of day.

SPEAKER_01 50:58

Yeah yeah it's like shit through this one.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Yeah so shit always kind of goes weird around my birthday. And so I just uh and and it what was cool in the times when I was drinking was that I could just start drinking like I I could always find somebody that would go to a 10 a.m brunch so I could start drinking as early as I possibly could. And then I would drink the whole day so I didn't have to think about it. And I will tell you that first birthday after I quit drinking oh my I just I cried for like 36 hours straight. And it was like man when you can't just bury when you can't just push those emotions down and like cover them up with red wine.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

Uh they really they come out some way yeah uh I'm gonna go with your birthday last year was uh was was you know the time to be like okay that was the first half right and then like now going forward everything is puppy dogs and kittens and sunshines and rainbows on on on your birthday that's that's my that's what I'm gonna do. Right. Well I'm looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_01 52:00

Looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_00 52:01

Mine's not long after yours. So strong aquarian energy strong aquarian energy when I go into any place and I see immediately after they put the Christmas decorations away that the Valentine's decorations are out and I'm just like you bastards like can I just have a minute before I but you got Valentine's Day Valentine's Day but it's also like you know it's just like okay it's coming yeah I get it I see it thank you.

SPEAKER_01 52:27

It's funny when I see the marketing the Valentine's Day exercise or exercises the Valentine Valentine's Day um decor is I'm like oh what am I gonna get for wedding show swag because I or wedding show decor because I always get target I can't say not anymore from Target but you'll have to check out what they got at the CBS I guess but bring your credit card. Yeah yeah yeah so anyway all right well this was a this is a good one hope you guys out there in the world are fascinated by what we just talked about and uh I'll see you next week on Olive Olive in my lady business thanks for listening to Olive in my lady business with me Mary Macy uh we'd love for you to like review subscribe follow us at Olive My Lady Business on the gram and if you're a female identifying person and you want to dance you can follow I mean everybody can follow us but if you want to be a part of the the magic at hot slash dance party sign up for the news to find out where our next party's gonna be and if you are looking for a teaching hotel in the area or anywhere else you know money's the same color everywhere buy us out toastcommunity.com has the best and listen to my radio show I have a radio show on chirp radio at chirpradio.org that's Mondays every Monday we call them toast today's episode is produced by Chiraz Data composed and performed by the guest it's Chiraz Data Alright guys peace out