The Wake-Up Call We Can’t Ignore with Candy Wolff, Claudia Porter, and Amy Salo

 When life throws the unexpected, how do you financially prepare and respond?

In the milestone 100th episode of 'Women and Money, the Shit We Don't Talk About,' we celebrate our journey featuring three previous guests, all inspiring women; Candy Wolff, Claudia Porter, and Amy Salo. Together they’re again sharing their impactful stories of financial struggle and resilience, but this time with combined insight.

Candy shares the emotional and financial whirlwind of losing her husband unexpectedly and how she took charge of her finances after years of sitting on the sidelines. Claudia recounts her escape from a toxic marriage, including her clever tactic of replacing her wedding ring stones to hire a divorce attorney. Amy lays out how financial professionals (and women themselves), can do more to take full ownership of their financial power.

Each guest also reflects on the lessons they wish they had known during their challenging times and their ongoing missions to empower other women financially. Each story resonates with the mission of Purse Strings: to empower women to be financially fearless and make informed decisions.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:46 Candy Wolf's Story: A Financial Nightmare

11:27 Claudia's Journey: From Academia to Financial Independence

20:33 Amy's Insights: Empowering Women in Financial Services

28:56 Quickfire Questions and Final Thoughts

This isn’t about fear. It’s about being prepared, empowered, and seen.

Whether you’ve been through loss, know someone who has, or just want to stop saying “I’ll handle it later”, this episode is your call to action.

Got a unique financial story to share? Whether it’s about crushing debt, building wealth, an unexpected windfall, or just a wild money moment, we want to hear it!  Or are you a professional who helps women with money? If you’re a financial coach, attorney, CPA, or work in any area that empowers women financially, we’d love to hear from you too! Your story could inspire our community of women. Fill out our intake form here!

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Transcript

[00:00:00] 
Maggie: We did it. Name that movie Mom.
Barb: Oh, I know this movie. It is,
Maggie: She doesn't have it. She doesn't have it. You know it.
Barb: I do know it. It is of Legally Blonde. yes, legally blonde and, wait, I have to throw my cap up right?
Maggie: Exactly. But we did it 100 episodes. I did not. Think we get this far. Most podcasts don't.
Barb: High five. Ready? Go. We did it. Yes.
Maggie: we've had some great guests. gone from just audio to audio video. We got some great clips now and it has been so fun. This is one of my favorite things for us to do
Barb: I know you love it.
Maggie: chit chat.
Barb: I'm curious about people, what they do, why they do what they do, their stories learning from other people and their experiences and really honoring their stories. And that's what's been so fun for me. And just being able to be in a place where we can just ask people a lot of questions [00:01:00] about them.
Maggie: I know we're great at, I mean, people tell me all the time, I ask too many questions, so this is the perfect place to do it. You know, you're just interviewing people all the time and out of the a hundred episodes, all of them have been fantastic. I mean, they really have, but there are a couple that rose to the top.
People love their stories are incredible, and so we thought. For a hundredth episode. Why just have two women when we can have five women on the
Barb: Right? Mm-hmm. Celebrate all women. Build our web, lift all boats, 
Maggie: exactly. Exactly. So today we have three amazing women, candy, Claudia and Amy coming on, reiterating part of their story, talking about how important knowing their finances was for these different situations, and again, talking about that shit we need to be talking about. So I'm just so excited to be here, to have a hundred episodes, to have this episode with three amazing women and for the next a hundred episodes.
Barb: I know I, I love this episode so much. I love the courage these women had to step forward. I love the [00:02:00] vulnerability of them telling their stories and the fact that What you're gonna hear today is really encapsulates why purse strings exists, why we're here built by women for women, so that all women, no matter where you are in your life, no matter what problems or celebrations you are going through at your point in time, we're here to help you live of a life full of joy and choices so that you can live and be financially fearless.
Maggie: And so if you wanna celebrate with us, the biggest gift would be leaving a review. That would be amazing. Just either drop the five stars, or if you're feeling a real giving, leave a little commentary down there, but. We would absolutely love it and it'd be the greatest way for us to celebrate is with just a really loving review.
If it's a bad review, keep it to yourself. We don't wanna hear it, but only good reviews here. And so that would be the greatest way to celebrate. But let's just start in and dive into this [00:03:00] episode as number a hundred. It's pretty great one.
Barb: Let's get
started.
 Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.
Barb: All right, so this is our 100th episode of Women and Money, the shit we don't talk About, and the episode brings together three incredible women with three different journeys, all pointing to one big truth that when life throws us the unexpected. How do you financially prepare [00:04:00] and respond? So on our podcast today, we are bringing you three amazing women to share insights from their own stories. We've had them on our podcast before they, their stories have resonated with our female audiences, so we've invited them back to share another blurb about their stories so women can hear them again, learn from them, and perhaps you'd wanna go back and listen to their episode again.
There are powerful stories, there are stories we can all learn from, and there are stories that really resonate with why purse strings is in existence. We're about. Women helping women getting in front of any financial concerns, questions, planning that you may have so that you can live a financially fearless life full of choices.
So with that, I would like to introduce to you Candy Wolf Candy. Go ahead and share your story. 
Candy: All right. Well thank you again for having me today. I appreciate it. I'm Candy Wolf. [00:05:00] I am a mother of three grown boys and my story begins in January of 23, my husband and I went to Cabo to celebrate my 50th birthday. 'cause Cabo is our, heaven on earth, I guess we always would call it.
So it was where we wanted to go and try to reconnect. My husband had been laid off, so he hadn't been working some previous years before. Just a little backstory. So, you know, we go to Cabo and we have a decent week and it gets to be, we're supposed to come home January 28th and the morning of January 27th, I woke up and I'd found that he had passed in the middle of the night. So here I am, it's just the two of us in Kabul, I don't speak English, and my husband had passed. So you know, I call down to the front desk frantically screaming, you know, my husband's not breathing, he's dead. They send up security people. They announce, you know that [00:06:00] he is dead.
And then. Pretty much from, I mean, that was hell right there, but then it just went spiraled from there. The police ended up stealing everything from me, like all of my cash. They stole value, anything of valuable in our room. So then I ended up actually in the police station, you know, being interrogated for a few hours, even though they had already done the autopsy, so they knew how he had passed.
So really it was four days. Of hell there not even realizing what I was gonna go home to as well. So, being by myself down in Mexico, my youngest, my two youngest were back at home. So here I am stressed about what I'm gonna do down there and then, you know, I have kids to take care of at home. So when I got it was four days and I finally was given the right to be able to fly home, I had him cremated.
Which was a whole nother financial issue when you're [00:07:00] trying to pay for something with credit cards and you're overseas. All the credit cards kept declining because they had no idea, you know, that I was trying to charge $1,700, you know, in Mexico. So trying to deal with that. But then the real financial nightmare actually started when I got back home.
My youngest was a junior in high school. And I had always asked my husband financially like where we were, you know, over the last few years. I knew it was tight, but I always asked, where are we financially? What do we need to do? And I was told, don't worry about it. Finances are fine. Once I get a job, I'm gonna put the money back.
Don't worry about it. So we had a very traditional marriage. I didn't worry about it. I went off to work and figured he knew exactly what he was doing. When I re got back home, I had a stack of mail, obviously that I was going through and [00:08:00] I got one from our financial planner and I thought, oh my gosh, this is the first time I'm actually gonna know how much money I have, you know, where my kids and I are gonna actually sit.
Because that was the one thing my son asked me when I walked through the door from cobble crying is. Mom, do we get to stay at home? Do we get to stay in our home? And I'd said, you know what? I will do anything and everything to keep us here. Little did I know, you know what was gonna happen, but when I opened that piece of paper or the envelope, I saw a $60,000 check and the page below it with big red letters, I, it's still in my head today.
It's account closed right then and there, like my heart sunk. I had $60,000 to my name to be able to pay the bills and raise my kid. And I wasn't making a ton of money 'cause my husband had always been [00:09:00] the breadwinner and he had always made very good money, so I never had to worry about it. Well come to find out, so I have $60,000.
Great. But people keep telling me, I need to pay my mortgage. I need to pay the utilities. Well, I had no idea. I couldn't get into his cell phone. I couldn't get into his computer. Everything is electronic. I didn't even know who to pay the mortgage to. And thank goodness my son was able to help me dig through things to find out who I need to pay the mortgage to.
My name was on the deed. Thank God it was not on the mortgage. But utilities, my name wasn't on any of it. And then when you go to the bank to let them know your husband is deceased, they stopped payment on every single automatic withdrawal. So therefore nothing was getting paid. And I had no idea. I mean, they do it for your safety, which I get, but it added a [00:10:00] whole nother layer of stress.
So not only am I. Grieving the loss of my husband trying to plan a funeral. I'm also dealing with this financial nightmare of how am I gonna survive? How am I going to pay these bills? And, you know, what bills do I owe and how am I gonna figure out how to pay them? So it literally was weeks of my dad and I sitting, going through banks, you know, printing out bank statements, trying to highlight.
Okay, well this is who your gas is through. This is who you need to pay the electric, you know, getting your name put on stuff. Well, when you pass away in another country, you get, I had a Mexican death certificate. I didn't have a US death certificate, so then I couldn't really do anything until the embassy released a US death certificate to me.
So my hands were tied. [00:11:00] Even more so, and we did have life insurance, but it took months for that to come through. So literally I was stressed for months on, you know, figuring $60,000 is not gonna last a long time. You know, especially when, you know, my youngest was playing club volleyball and you know, just getting ready for college.
So you have all these other things in your mind as well as how am I just gonna live day to day today? And it was an absolute nightmare. It was a learning experience. And I. I had my head buried in the sand. That's about the best way I could put it. And I am so frustrated with myself that's what I did.
I just lived, you know, I worked, I spent my money however I wanted to, I didn't save. And then your world literally gets pulled out from underneath you and you don't even know where to [00:12:00] turn. And that's, you know, where I was for months of just trying to. Figure everything out. And then as well, having to go back to work right away because I had to pay the bills.
Barb: And so Candy, that $60,000 was your total assets in terms of your retirement savings and all of that, 
Candy: Everything. Yeah, it was, everything was gone. That 60,000 was it? 
Yeah. 
Maggie: So what
did you learn about kind of like money and yourself during this time?
Candy: I learned that I was not diligent with my money, that I just kind of, you know, like a kid felt like, well I get paid every couple weeks and I was responsible for the kids. My husband was responsible for the bills. And I was so frustrated with myself that I actually got to that point in life that, you know, here I was 50 years old and.
I didn't have a penny to my name [00:13:00] because I wanted a new purse. I went and bought it. I, the kids wanted, new outfit. I went and bought it. I never even thought about my future and saving. I always, it's my husband's job. He's the one who's doing it. He's taking care of the retirement, so, yeah, I learned that I was very stupid for one, and that I don't want anybody else to be in the situation that I'm in. I guess that's the biggest thing is it was so stressful. It was so hard, and if I can help somebody, open their eyes, then I feel like it, it's worth what I went through.
Barb: Yeah, and I think a lot of women are gonna learn from your story. And I know you wrote a book Lost and Found in Mexico really explaining your story, and you spoke at our event and really talked about the need of learning about your money being partners in having those conversations. And realizing that, you need to really learn about where your money's going and all of that.
But you know, don't be so [00:14:00] hard on yourself. It's not unlike many women. We were not taught financial literacy in school and, money was taboo to talk about. And I think many of us are raised in that situation and too often are found ourselves in situations like that. And that's why we have purse strings is so that women can come to a safe.
Place to start learning what they need to know to make smart financial decisions. And your story's a powerful one. We're so glad that you've come forward and shared it. It's a very vulnerable story. But thank you for being here. Let's circle over to Claudia now, Claudia, you also have a very powerful story that we would like you to share with our audience as well.
Claudia: Yeah, thank you. So I am from Germany. I used to be a professor of linguistics, taught English as a second language and linguistics classes. Because I was told early on that I. I couldn't be in the financial services industry, which I had wanted to do after graduated from high [00:15:00] school because I was a woman and this was a mints industry.
And what was I thinking? So I was basically told my financial services industry career would end up as a bank teller because I would get married and have children. So I didn't know how to get in. In Germany. It's a very different system. I didn't wanna go to another bank where I had started to hear the same message.
So I went into academia and then came over here as a research scholar to teach classes, and then met my now ex-husband. He was also, a professor at the same university and we fell in love. And we had four boys in four and a half years. He wanted a big family. I wanted to go back to work after having twins, but I gave in and had more kids.
I'm glad I had them all. I loved them all. However, I kept my foot in the door because I always wanted to go back to work. 'cause I felt really strongly there's more to life than. Being in the house with kids, and I didn't get all this education for nothing. And then the marriage kind of started [00:16:00] eroding because it felt like a moving target.
I felt like I could never do anything right. And so I wrestled for a long time with what was going on and figuring out. What's happening in my marriage. And I grew up with this idea that, you know, you persist, you work things out in the marriage. And I was very loyal and grew up with this idea that you owe your children a home with two parents.
And so years after years of trying and constantly running into a moving target, I started journaling. And that really helped me gain a lot of clarity about what was happening in my life because I would write down things that had happened in the household every day, and then I would revisit my entries later with some distance and then kind of saw what was actually happening in my life.
And it was really through that clarity. Through the journaling and also reading some books about that. [00:17:00] Friends of mine had suggested I read to, you know, gain some clarity that I realized I wasn't doing my boys any favor by staying in a relationship, because I felt like I wasn't aligned anymore with where I was.
And it wasn't a good relationship model for the boys. And so realizing that I also became increasingly worried that from feeling eroded and stressed out from what was going on in the marriage, I would eventually get sick and I couldn't be the best mom for my children. And I, I. I might also even not be around at some point because what if I got sick and died?
Because I was just totally stressed out and eroded all the time. So it was really through the journaling that I gained this clarity that I had to get out. And I just, I didn't know how, because my boys were, I had four boys in four and a half years. So when I realized I had to get out my youngest one.
Was two. And you know, then [00:18:00] it took some time to figure out, well, how am I gonna do this with four boys? I don't really know, but I just know that I have to get out because it's just not a good role model for my children. And so I got to, through the journaling and the clarity that I gained from that, I got to this.
This clarity that if I owed my children anything, it was not necessarily a home with two parents living together, but a supportive childhood where they could thrive and an environment where I could be the best mom for them and be that supportive grounding rock for them.
Maggie: And so I know from there you kind of had a story about your ring, which was such a smart move. Can you kind of share that with our audience?
Claudia: Yeah. So once I realized that I needed to make a change, it took me some time to identify an attorney that I felt comfortable with, but I had no idea how to retain him because my boys were very little. So I was working very part-time teaching [00:19:00] sporadically here and there just to keep my foot in the door.
I didn't have any savings. I didn't have any control over the money. No say no seat at the table in any. About any financial things. So I knew I had to retain an attorney and get out, but I didn't know how. And so as the marriage continued to become increasingly contentious, I found myself looking at my wedding ring one day and thinking, what meaning does this even still have on my finger?
And then it was really that moment that I realized. Well, maybe this is my way out. So I decided to take it to a jewelry and diamond store the next day and had it appraised to see what it was worth. And it was valued slightly higher than the retainer that I needed for the attorney. And so I negotiated with them about.
Creating synthetic stones that looked identical, so I wouldn't raise any suspicion at home with the ring off my finger. And I had to wait three weeks [00:20:00] for the stones to be cut just right. And so I went back three weeks later, switched out the original stones for the synthetic stones and walked out with my big check.
And then the next day I took the big check to the attorney. Then he started the divorce proceedings and I honestly had no idea what the path ahead would look like, but I just knew in my heart that moment that it was the right thing just to take that first step.
Maggie: That's so clever. 
Barb: It is brilliant when you think about it, right? 
Maggie: Yeah.
Barb: I mean, we share that story, Claudia, because so many women feel stuck, you know, like in your situation and think about it. You're such a bright, talented, smart woman, but you found yourself in a situation where you really needed to be creative to get out, right?
And your hands were tied, but you thought outside the box and you took that brave step [00:21:00] and you did it, and you got out. And I think it's just a brilliant story of, you know, heart and soul for your children and to really do what you needed to do to move your life forward. So bravo. 
Claudia: Thank you. 
Barb: Yeah. 
Maggie: so what has your relationship with money look like since then?
Claudia: Well, to be honest, for quite some time it was, I had a challenging relationship with money because the divorce took two years and then it was followed by an appeals court case that took another four years. And it was really challenging to live on the small amount of support I was getting in the small amount of income I was making from teaching at the time.
 So I really took a deep dive into what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to make an impact and help other people and create something bigger than myself that something bigger than myself that the boys could also benefit from. And it was really during this time that I found my way back to my earlier passion for the wealth management [00:22:00] industry.
And I was determined that I was gonna succeed and that I was gonna reclaim the financial independence that I had before my marriage. And I think it's really through the relentless challenge of having to be resourceful and dealing with such uncertainty and so little to get by on for such a long time that I've developed a really.
Resilient and optimistic relationship with money. And I truly think that my resourcefulness and reinvention of myself to take control of the things that I can control come from a deep conviction that scarcity is a teacher, not a curse. And when I look back. You know, somehow it always worked out. So somehow the resources I needed at certain times just showed up.
So, for example, I got an unexpected tax refund when I had a big bill to pay that I couldn't otherwise have paid. And so there were other examples like that, and they've only solidified my resilient and optimistic relationship with money.
Maggie: I love that. [00:23:00] That's amazing. And so the last question I kind of wanna ask while you're here is, you know, what's the biggest piece of advice you would give to women who feel that they are financially trapped?
Claudia: That's a great question. I would say ask yourself what you can do with what you have to take that first step to get out of whatever is trapping you, and then. that first step to make a change. To make a change. Because if you trust the path, you will learn the other steps along the way. You're not gonna know when you start, but they will just show up.
Barb: Wonderful. So Amy, you gave us a whole new way of thinking about women in financial services and it's such a natural fit. So why don't you share a little bit about what drew you to the industry and you know, what surprised you most about it? 
Amy: Sure. Thank you for having me. I'm thrilled to be here and it's really great to meet both Candy and Claudia. I can relate in so many ways [00:24:00] to both of them. I've since. Being in this business for the past 17 years, I've had 14 either clients or spouses of clients pass away, and only one person was over the age of 60.
So that is one thing that has been very shocking. And I've learned so many lessons from all of these survivors. Like Claudia, when I started in the business, I had a 2-year-old son. And that motivation to learn this business, both for myself and his future and what I wanted to be able to promise him.
And also the ability to remove any sort of cap from the impact that you can have beyond just money. Those things have just stayed with me throughout the tenure of my career and I would say they just keep getting stronger. I have a very dear friend who has two grown daughters [00:25:00] and all of their lives.
She said to them, money isn't everything, but it gives you choices. And I think for women that ability, desire, and drive to be financially independent, That doesn't have a dollar amount attached to it. It's a knowledge and confidence that you know how to stand on your own two feet, whether that's within a relationship, a partnership with money, a business, your own life as an independent woman.
However, that can be realized for us as women, the need and desire from women to be in that position. I feel is just getting stronger and stronger. More and more women recognize that their ability to be their best version of themselves for their kids or for themselves, for their family, for their elderly parents, for their community, for the impact they want to have in the world, all of that gets better if they [00:26:00] financially can stand on their own.
Feet.
Maggie: Yeah it's definitely true. And I think that's I'm sure you've seen that. Yeah. Time and time again. And so how has being a woman kind of shaped your approach differently when working with clients? I.
Amy: You know, I think it, it is sometimes a male female thing and sometimes it's not fully gender-based, but. Some people are driven by their own success, their trophies, their recognition that literally propels them forward racing to a finish line after finish line. And those people can have enormous impact on the world.
more sort of female, I guess, gendered ideas that were driven by the impact we have on others in the world. And I have seen men that exhibit those traits also. It's not only women and there are some fiercely competitive women, but I do think we have a tendency to be fierce advocates for others.
And so for me in my career, that idea of having an impact started with being an advisor and having an impact [00:27:00] on my son. And then it grew to having an impact on my clients. And then it grew to having an impact on more women and other great people in this profession to have a stronger impact that grew to leading a firm, that grew to industry involvement.
And that grew to writing a book because you realize that as much of an impact as you intend to have, it always feels kind of small. As the universe opens up to you and you realize how many more people need your help, want your help, could benefit from the knowledge that you've absorbed over the years from other people, that you know that impact is a strong motivator for me.
Barb: Yeah. So tell us a little bit about your book, compound Impact, like what inspired it and what do you hope readers will take away from it? 
Amy: Well, my driving, you know, force is impact on the profession and on Americans, on people being in this more solid financial position. And while it's intimidating to many people, it really, truly is not rocket science. [00:28:00] And so compound impact is about. Our profession and how I believe we most of the time do a partial job and we can have so much of a greater impact if we can take responsibility for the potential we have for the potential impact we have.
So that you know all of the people, I'm sure Candy met many people over the course of her life, and I'm sure her husband met many people and. And for whatever reason, they, it was not front and center for them. And I think that those advisors could have done a better job of working on themselves, working on their communication, working on their ability to motivate them to sit down for five seconds and think about it.
I mean, we have licenses, we have designations, we have training, we have experience, and we live very good lives. The least we [00:29:00] can do is work a little harder to have a greater impact. And so the book is just about building trust and it's about doing the entire job. It's about the potential impact we can have, and it's about being a really contributing member of your community.
In providing this confidence and accessibility to what it is we can do to help other people. So it's for leaders in the industry, it's for advisors, and it can help end clients also.
Maggie: I love that. And you don't always know what the impact is you're making sometimes when you meet people, but sometimes those little pushes really can add up and really domino effect in people's lives. You know, if you force every meeting to have both spouses there force people to have kind of that conversation jointly.
Things could look really different for better or for worse sometimes. But just knowing and having the information yeah, it makes a huge impact. And so what do you want more women to know about financial [00:30:00] careers or kind of money in general?
Amy: Well, I think they need to know that it is accessible. As my friend said, it gives you choices and as Claudia said, things show up in your life. It's not there. There are always resources. Whatever your career is, whatever your income level is, whatever your relationship around money with your partner or spouse is, there are resources, and we have to be sure to think that there are always choices.
One, one question I was asked, I do some work in politics trying to help our legislators understand. What it is we do and how important it is for us to have trust and not fear, right? In our relationship with the public. I had one legislative director ask me one time, she said, Amy, what do you tell people when they say, after I've, you know, bought my eggs and paid my [00:31:00] bills and done everything I need to do, there's no money left to save.
What do you tell those? People, and I said, I tell them that they're making a very big assumption. And that assumption is that every single decision they've made around money up until that point, is more important than their family's financial security.
And when you think about it that way, everyone does take a pause, just like the tax refund that came to Claudia Are resources everywhere. And if you can become a powerful steward of those resources for yourself and your family. And if as advisors we can think like that, we can think about relationships with clients as not just solving for today, but solving for the next 30 years. There is really an immense amount of opportunity.
All, all through. 
Barb: That's a, that's an amazing response. I'm gonna have to really. Write that one down and think about that more. I loved it. So thank you for [00:32:00] that. I think we're gonna go into a quick round of asking you each a question and if you could give us a one line answer, that'd be fantastic. So, Kandy, let's start with you.
What's one money lesson you wish more women knew? 
Candy: This is something that I learned is tracking your spending monthly making sure you know where like all your investments are and how they're doing, and being an advocate for yourself.
Barb: Love it, Claudia.
Claudia: I would say I wish more women knew the power of taking control of their financial future by joining the conversation, because knowledge grows when you show up. 
Maggie: It is good, 
Amy.
Amy: spending less and paying debt, those things don't create wealth. Wealth is created by saving money. 
Barb: I love it.
Okay.
next question, Kandy, what's next for you in your life [00:33:00] work or the impact you want to make? 
Candy: Yeah, well, super excited that I just launched published. I guess my next book was yesterday. So it's like. Thank you. It's a grief journal to go along, like with my books. So I want people to be able to go through and journal about themselves and what they're learning. And my impact is I want women to know that, like I said, they do have a say and they don't have to sit back, but demand that you need to be at those financial planning meetings.
With your husband, your spouse, whoever it is, because you deserve to know it's your money as much as it is. His
Maggie: Love it. And congrats on that grief journal coming out, I think I'll have to journal more between that and Claudia's perspective of journaling. I think a lot of great things are coming out. So Claudia, what's next for you in life work or the impact you wanna make? 
Claudia: Well, I'm on a mission to help more [00:34:00] women feel empowered about participating in the financial conversation. And so I wrote two books women Wealth and Winning, and on the Other Side just to get Women to. Stop being complacent and just roll up their sleeves and get to work. And I'm hoping that's gonna help couples build stronger relationships because now there's an actual conversation about finances and just for women to engage with financial professionals and ask questions and get going on their financial conversations and just participating in it.
Maggie: I love it. And Amy, how about you? 
Amy: For me, I think I'm at an inflection point where I've been running fast for many years and I am trying to take a step back and look at, sometimes the greater impact that it may be possible to have if you can put your energy in the right places with the people who are most receptive to, you know, receiving your help or support towards those things.
So it's, some of it is board [00:35:00] service. Some of it is choosing where to put mentorship. And time at work and in the community and just sort of a more thoughtful approach than maybe I've taken up until now and anxious to see what comes of that.
Maggie: Awesome. And our last question for all of you is, if you could go back and tell your past self one thing during your difficult season, what would it be? Candy. Do you wanna start with that one? I.
Candy: Sure. Well, one would be that you're stronger than what you think you are. When you are at your depths of thinking there, it couldn't get any worse. You are strong enough to get through that. And you know, two, take control of your finances. Don't let someone else control it. And you know what? We don't have to use.
Like now that I, my husband's gone, I don't have to use that financial planner. I can find one that works for me and that fits my [00:36:00] what I want and my needs. And that's what I really want women to know, that there are so many resources out there. And just sit down with some financial planners and find the one that works for you, because that's truly where most everything's gonna begin moving forward with your money.
Maggie: Yeah. Awesome. Claudia, if you could go back and tell your past self one thing during that difficult season, what would that be?
Claudia: I would tell myself, you're going to be okay. And truly not only that life on the other side of this challenge is gonna be so much more beautiful and fulfilling than you can imagine right now.
Maggie: Awesome. I love that. And Amy, I know for yours, we didn't touch on a difficult season, but what would you tell, you know, your past self or someone who is thinking, you know, women and finances what kind of advice would you give them?
Amy: Well, just in case anyone thinks I haven't had difficult seasons, I promise you I have. And I would say that what got [00:37:00] me through those was the idea that you need to make decisions with an idea of whether or not they get you closer to the ideal. A life that you want to be living and the place you want to be and who you wanna be as a person.
And if you look at these huge, big decisions that are overwhelming and just think like, will this decision get me closer to where I wanna be or not? And if not, just move on. You don't even need to make the decision. If it can get you closer, move in that direction. And that concept of compound interest is not just about money.
It happens in your career, your life, your relationships. It, it has to be that you're moving towards. Who you want to be and we as women can control that.
Barb: Yeah, that's so true about the compound interest, that's for sure.
This for me was such a powerful. Conversation because as I reflect on all of your stories, it really pinpoints a lot of the themes that.
we speak to around purse strings. Candy, we always talk about, [00:38:00] you know, the average age of a widow is 59.
And Amy, even with what you said, working with widows, you know, it's young, right? Women are often. In those situations where they become widowed young. And it's about being prepared and we're always about the message around being prepared, getting your your pages in order, your administrative papers in order getting your estate plans in order.
Getting your powers of attorney in order. And we feel like we say this like almost like a broken record because it's so, so important and so many people put it off or say, I'll get to that later. And so many women will say, well, my husband handles that. But Candy, I think your story is a very powerful one that says.
You are that person and now you're not that person because you know how powerful it is where it landed you. Right? So your story is a powerful one to women who are saying that to us and every day saying that to us. But we know that they're gonna be at some point in a situation where they're gonna have to step forward and take care of their financial future.
Right. And so now you're speaking [00:39:00] with. Take care of yourself. Be in the conversation. Right. And we're also saying, like you said, Amy, financial professionals need to be able to do their job and say, I need to meet with both parties at the table. I need to make sure both parties know what's going on with the finances so that you know, candy, someone like you is not shocked that I have $60,000.
You shouldn't be knowing that by opening a piece of mail. So financial professionals should be more comprehensive in their meetings. And if you're not, we would sit at purser, say, if you're not getting that from your financial professional, find one that will do that for you. Another stat, 70% of women leave their financial professional in the first year of losing their spouse and oftentimes getting divorced because they've never been.
Invited to the conversation. They weren't aware of what's going on. So everything that you're telling us through these stories just emphasizes all of the statistics that we see in constantly are getting in front of women today. And your stories, although very heartbroken, heartache [00:40:00] stories.
They're very powerful. They're sending messages out to women that said, look, this happened to us. And it doesn't have to. There are lots of support systems out there. There are a lot of fantastic financial professionals, Amy, like you, Claudia, like you, who really know how to help women and really help them live a beautiful life.
So congratulations to you and can. Your story and being vulnerable enough to tell it is really powerful too. So, this podcast is a powerful one. I'm going to share it. And I hope all of you will too. So I appreciate all of you coming back. And I invite you to share this with, you know, your friends, your colleagues, your sisters, your aunts, all the women in your life so that we can share this message because too many women, I I sense you, you let me know, but from my experience are saying.
I let my husband handle it. I will get to that later. Yeah.
I know I need to do that, but you know, there's no time like the present. Right. It's best to do it yesterday, but if you didn't get to it yesterday, [00:41:00] let's take care of that today. Any thoughts you'd like to add before we wrap this up? 
Candy: I would love people to know that all the resources that you guys have, like when the first time we talked, I wish I would've had that paperwork of filling everything out. 'cause I wouldn't have been so lost. And I direct people to you guys all the time because it's so important that everybody knows.
Where everything is, so I appreciate what you guys are doing.
Barb: Thank you candy. 
Outro: You've been listening to Women Money, the shit we don't talk about. Now it's time to take what you've learned and make bold moves towards financial independence. Stay in the know by joining our newsletter for exclusive tools, resources, and updates that keep you financially fearless. Head to PurseStrings. co and sign up today. Need a financial professional who gets it? Turn to PurseStrings Curated Directory, your go to resource for financial experts who know how to put you [00:42:00] first. Love this episode? Leave us a review and help us empower even more women to own their financial power. Until next time, be financially fearless. 
Maggie: Claudia Porter, RFG Advisory and Purse Strings are separate and unaffiliated entities and are not responsible for one another's policies, services, or opinions. Advisory services offered by investment advisory representatives of RFG Advisory, L-L-C-R-F-G Advisory, or RFG, our registered investment advisor.
The views and opinions expressed by Claudia Porter may not necessarily reflect those of RFG Advisory, its clients or its employees.
Amy Sallow is a registered principal and financial advisor of Park Avenue Security, L-L-C-P-I-S, osj, 200 Broad Hollow Road, suite 4 0 5. Melville, New York. 1 1 7 4 3 1 5 8 9 5 4 oh oh. Security projects and advisory services offered through [00:43:00] PAS Member Finra, SPIC, general Agent of the Guardian Life Insurance Company of America's Guardian, New York.
New York PSA is a wholly owned subsidiary of Guardian. Forest Hill Financial Group is not an affiliate or a subsidy of PSA or guardian. CA Insurance license number zero L 4 6 0 8. This podcast is for information purposes only. Guest speakers and their firms are not affiliated or endorsed by PSA Guardian or Forest Hill Financial Group and opinions are stated on their own. 7 6 7 2 6 4 3 1 0.1. Expires 6 27.