Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
Not-So-Scary Money Stories with Dr. Barb and Maggie
Money doesn’t have to be scary, but some of our stories definitely are!
This Halloween, Dr. Barb and Maggie are sharing the spooky, funny, and oh-so-relatable money moments that still make us cringe. From scary Uber surge charges to haunting home equity blunders, we’re digging into the real-life financial frights women face , and what we can learn from them.
01:37 Real community-submitted “scary money stories”
06:05 Barb and Maggie’s own jaw-dropping money moments
11:01 Lessons Learned and Financial Advice
16:15 How to turn your financial fear into confidence
We’ll remind you that everyone makes money mistakes. What matters is how we recover, learn, and move forward stronger. Don’t be haunted by your money. Own it, learn from it, and scare it right back with your confidence and smarts.
👻 Listen now and share your own scary money story with us! Who knows, it might inspire another woman to take charge of her financial future.
And If you’re ready to stop repeating those money nightmares and start building real financial confidence, join us November 6th for Money Talks. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions!
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Maggie: [00:00:00] The twist of it is scared money don't make money. You know what I mean? And a big thing we see, especially in women is that they're just more scared to invest. They're more scared to do a money move and having money set in your bank account is a scary money move.
We can't just let it sit there 'cause it's losing value. And so we have to be, investing, have that high yield savings account, have that emergency fund, get in the stock market or real estate or whatever your investment of choice is.
Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.
Maggie: [00:01:00] Ooh, spooky Barb brought your scary money story voice today, didn't you?
Barb: I do have my scary money voice.
Maggie: Just getting ready for the Halloween season.
Barb: I've been practicing this all
year, now I have it.
Maggie: I know. So I'm excited today to dive into some scary money stories as people saw, we posted to gather some on our Instagram stories, which we've got some really good ones. We were shopping the other day, Barb and I have been hanging out a little bit in person.
I'm obsessed with this app, YUKA, and you can scan things and see like if they're good or if they're bad for you of like quality, like what's added to them. And we went to go get you shampoo and you're like, Ugh, $70 shampoo conditioner seems obscene.
But then we scan it and it got a zero out of a hundred rating.
And that to me was scary that we could pay $70 for the shampoo that's horrible for you.
Barb: I know. And it's the one they use in all the salons. They tell you.
to use it.
Maggie: That's scary. We always talk about value-based spending and so I love to use that app, but I always think it's interesting to realize what we're spending on and what's in it, [00:02:00] which is kind of scary. I.
Barb: Yeah, and the more you learn about it, the more you can be really financially conscious about the decisions you're making when you're spending money.
Maggie: Well, and that's the thing is like it's not always the more expensive option
That's better for you. Sometimes it was like, oh, the one that's $9.99 is actually a 68 out of a hundred. You're like, okay, I'll spend less and get better.
Barb: It was, and that's the truth. It was crazy. Yeah. I was like, wow. It's all marketing.
Maggie: it's a scam. It's all a scam. But let's share some of these scary money stories that are community submitted. These were some good ones. It was funny 'cause there were some definitely like lines kind of throughout. So one was that when they went to go take an Uber like their car broke, they took an Uber and it was surge pricing.
How bad could it be? $250 later. It was bad.
Barb: Wow. Where were they
Maggie: I know. Who knows? But you know that surge pricing sometimes you just never know. That's a vibe. I know two of these, even just in the last week, scary money stories of when [00:03:00] people got divorced and their partner's debt or their partner's
taking out their 401k and then having to split your 401k with your partner 'cause you were a saver and they were a spender. And so one woman commented how their, $20,000 worth of credit card debt became our $20,000 worth of credit card debt. And same with an one emptied 401k that we spent a lot of things on, made my 401k become our 401k.
Barb: Crazy. Or here's another one. Somebody who kept taking out a, like a home equity line of credit to pay off their credit card debt, but they never failed to close out those credit cards, so. Let's go to Disney. They bought a new car, so they kept going to their home equity line of credit to pay off their credit card debt, and then they realized they had no equity in their house.
Crazy, and they weren't spending it on anything they could show for it. It wasn't like I went to medical school or, you know what I mean? I had an [00:04:00] investment in something that was really worth taking that out. It was just trips they wanted, things they wanted to spend on and nothing to show for it.
And yet when they went to sell their house, they had no equity in it. In fact, they were underwater.
Maggie: That sounds horrible. That's a scary
money story for sure.
and then we had a lot of scary money stories of just like coming out of college, being uneducated and getting those credit cards and digging a hole. I got a fair, a fair amount of those.
Barb: I'll add to this one that I think is crazy. All the debt that people who are in weddings go into. Because it's not just, oh, you need to get the dress and the shoes and the gift, but now you have to plan these elaborate showers and getaways. And I don't know where these people are coming up with this kind of money to go to Mexico to celebrate the engagement, right. I don't get it.
Maggie: And then, yeah, the last one, which I thought was good was somebody took their emergency fund, or just [00:05:00] their extra money, maybe it wasn't labeled as the emergency fund, bought a really nice bag and a week later the emergency hit and it was kind of like, ah, you want my bag? Can I pay in a Birkin?
Which I thought were some yeah, really great money stories, people submitted and it happens, sometimes it happens by accident. We don't know, especially sometimes in divorce. We just don't know. Credit card at 18, happens all the time. Which is why we have to get this education out there. It's hard sometimes to see that emergency fund sitting there and it's earning 4%.
That could be great in a high yield savings account, but a nice bag on my wrist could be beautiful as well.
Barb: I
and you know what? We all do it. We all make some decisions that at the time sounded like a good decision, like we really need to get away and life's been stressful. Let's just throw it on a credit card and go.
Maggie: Yeah. I will never forget, my friend and I talked about this one time we were living in Chicago, and I remember I met up with a group. They were like, 'have some of this wine.' They got another bottle. It was like their special of the night, [00:06:00] right?
We got the bill. There was some miscommunication about the price of the bottle of wine and the bill was three times more than anyone at the table thought. And we're all college students, so kind of looking at each other, like, uh, yeah. There was some friend, I don't know who he was, he goes, oh, don't worry, I'll just put my card down.
And all of us were just like,
Barb: Yeah, but you wonder if that was his scary money story, thinking he was gonna save the group and put it on his credit card.
Maggie: we all did the Venmo transfer, but I remember like just being in college and all of us were like, that's not what you said, and I was like, I kind of came late. Like I felt like I came late to the table, so I was like, I don't know. I wasn't at the you know, original conversation.
So it happens. These scary money stories happen. It's true.
Barb: do you have a personal scary money story?
Maggie: that was it.
Barb: That was it. But it wasn't a decision you made. It was group think.
Maggie: it was group think for sure. Once you sit down, someone pours you a glass of wine, you're just [00:07:00] C’est la vie, you know what I mean? It was scary one time when I worked this job and she was gonna pay me at the end of the summer, so I worked for free all summer and put everything on a credit card.
And then I didn't get the money at the end of the year, at the end of the summer. And so that was scary 'cause I was like racking up more debt and had to go to court. And I knew like I was in the right the whole time, but I was also like, maybe I shouldn't have taken this payment option, it did turn out, but that was scary 'cause I was like, crap. I worked all summer, but I didn't actually get income all summer and I put it all on a credit card. I planned myself a trip to Europe right at the end of the summer because that's what you do. And so I was like, ah,
Barb: It worked out only because you took her to small claims court.
Maggie: Yes. Yes. But that was a learning curve and it was scary. 'cause you're like, I don't know when this money's coming in. I don't know if they're gonna pay all of it. And then at that point I was like, you have to pay my interest on that as well, which was covered. But, that was scary 'cause you just don't know.
And even like, you know, five grand now, it's still plenty of money, but like when you're in [00:08:00] college, that's like a lot of, a lot of money, you know? You know, so you're like, ah, how about you let me hear a scary money
Barb: I think you learn a lot when you're younger, when you make those types of decisions that once you grow older you don't make those types of decisions anymore. But there were plenty of times when I would get paid and my regular finances didn't even cover my income and I wasn't living high on the hog either.
I didn't have a car. I just had rent and utilities and things like that. I was overdrawn a lot, so there were a ton of checking overdrawn account fees that I'd paid, and I had no money to pay that, but I just couldn't get ahead of making more money at all. That's when I realized
I need to make more money! I had to get a second job, to just cover my expenses. And that racked up terrible credit and terrible banking history. And it really wasn't anything I was doing wrong, except I didn't earn enough money just to pay for my [00:09:00] everyday expenses. So that taught me a lot because then I worked a second job actually waitressing, which was fantastic because you got cash right away and they fed you.
So, that was a good way to pay down my debt. And I remember I'd go home to my roommate and I'd say, I'd give her all my cash. And I'd just say, okay, take it. And she would just take all my cash, save it, save it, save it in a place that was safe. And I didn't know where it was, so I wasn't even tempted to spend it.
And then at one point, I'd take that money finally throw it in the bank, and then pay my credit cards down. So I learned the hard way, but I figured out how to get it paid off.
Maggie: Anytime you feel like your card doesn't go through to me is like a scary money story. Anytime you're withdrawn, even somebody else submitted, like they bought a, pumpkin spice latte and their card was then overdrawn and it's just like, ah, tis the season.
Barb: Yeah, and you know what, talk about tiz the season.
We're talking about scary money stories because it's October, but we know a lot of scary money stories happen over the [00:10:00] holidays, right? When a lot of people just put it all in a Credit card. Credit cards are the death..
Maggie: Credit cards are the death. And I would say that's one of like the real life money monsters is credit card and credit card debt and they wanna come out and get you. I mean, the amount of spam credit cards I just get to my front door, I gotta report that to somebody. It's obscene. But I would say that would be like a real life money monster.
Barb: I'll tell you something else that did happen to me fairly recently in the last year or so, is I was looking for a couple of tickets to go to Ravinia and I put it out on Facebook that I was looking and this woman said 'I have tickets for that show.' And I'm like, awesome 'cause they were sold out, and so it was exactly what I needed. I Venmo'ed her the money and guess what?
Maggie: Long pause. No answer.
Barb: I was totally taken advantage of.
Maggie: Yeah, it's hard with the tickets. Yeah, that's a big scam we see these days for sure.
Barb: I felt so foolish. I felt so taken advantage of. I felt yucky [00:11:00] and I was mad, because I didn't know. You lose faith in humanity.
Maggie: I just wanna see my music.
Barb: It wasn't even that, it was just I dunno, for some reason, you think you can trust people just like this woman who was an entrepreneur and said, can I pay you at the end of the summer?
Now we just have to be crusty and say, no, you can't. You gotta pay me when it's due. Or no, I'm not buying tickets through Venmo or online anymore. And you can't trust
Maggie: we gotta be crusty.
Barb: That's What I feel like.
Maggie: The twist of it is scared money don't make money. You know what I mean? And a big thing we see, especially in women is that they're just more scared to invest. They're more scared to do a money move and having money set in your bank account is a scary money move.
We can't just let it sit there 'cause it's losing value. And so we have to be, investing, have that high yield savings account, have that emergency fund, get in the stock market or real estate or whatever your investment of choice is. But scared money don't [00:12:00] make money. So it's finding that middle line
Barb: Yeah, How do you find it? You get educated. You learn, learn, learn. I can't tell you how many financial professionals we talked to who really came to finances because they had poor finances. Right. They were overdrawn or they found that they had no income or they had no savings and many of them just drew a line in the sand and said, I'm gonna learn all about this.
And even, before we had a lot of online tools like we do today many of them would say, I go to the library every day after work. And the librarians knew they were there and they were learning about, savings and investments and stocks and bonds and stuff, and they flourished. So it's really about investing the time needed because God forbid we get any of this information in, in our school system.
You need to find the right resources like here at Purse Strings where we make it simple and easy for women to really learn what they need to know to really make the good, smart financial investments decisions [00:13:00] so that they're not scared and they don't have these scary money stories.
Maggie: Yeah, a hundred percent. And these scary money stories, they are that opportunity for growth. We learn now that we gotta be 'crusty'. That's gonna be used all day! We learn now what the credit card debt really does. We learn to ask more questions, whether it's the wine people are pouring you, or, how our finances are gonna be separated in divorce before we get married, just to be more prepared.
I see so many women who are on their second marriage and all the questions they ask now, all the protection they put in place, all the different things 'cause they're like, I'm not letting this happen again. And so it's, it is an opportunity for growth. We can't sit and sulk on 'shoulda, coulda, wouldas',
Barb: Yeah, and I would add to that, that even some women who've gone through divorce, like one woman who was a financial advisor said, my divorce cost me like $80,000 or something. right?
Scary. Yes.
Maggie: Scary. Yeah.
Barb: And so she [00:14:00] said, I knew that I had to go through and get divorced. It cost us more than I ever thought, and I put a payment plan in place and I just know every month I make this payment and it's kind of her freedom payment because now she has her own life, but
she made it work for herself 'cause she knew those were decisions she made and those were the consequences she had to deal with. And so she attacked it from a financial perspective in a way that was affordable and she's making it happen. So even if things like that, scary things happen to you, knowing how to take advantage of the situation and learn what you need to know. You're able to manage it in a way that's educated. You're not taken out. You're not putting everything on a credit card at 27%, but you're looking at other loan opportunities, things like that. Learn, learn, learn. There's something out there we can always learn to help ourselves.
Maggie: Yeah, a hundred percent. I actually just did talk somebody else who finished and filed for divorce and she's like, I had $80 left [00:15:00] to my name, but I was independent, and that's what I wanted, and so it's the risk and reward and it can be scary to stay where you are, right? And so just having that freedom is great and being able to launch where you come from.
And so it's not about being fearless always to be just financially fearless. You know what I mean? There's kind of that difference
Barb: Yeah, and not to beat yourself up either, right? We all make mistakes, some bigger than others, but the reality is it happens and it happens to all of us. It's not that you made the mistake, it's how you managed the outcome or how to clean up that mess or manage it going forward. That's what's most important.
Maggie: And I think we've gotta keep sharing these stories because when we say these things out loud, there's always like eight other hands that go up. They're like, yep, that happened to me. Yep, that happened to me. And there's so often where you're like, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that's happened to. And it's like, actually, you're not that unique, sorry.
Barb: Yeah. And So we, [00:16:00] just like the podcast set, we gotta keep talking about this shit and normalize it in the way that we all make mistakes. A lot of them impact our income, our finances. We didn't set down certain roads for certain reasons. Sometimes life happens and we just have to make sure we have the right tools and resources at our fingertips so that we can get back on track, make a plan, and move forward.
Maggie: This Halloween season, we don't wanna be haunted by our money, but really take control of it, step into that power and scare it with how good we are
with it. Boo. Scary good.
So yeah, I mean, we really invite our listeners to, reach out to one of our financial professionals hear about their powerful money stories they've overcome.
So many of them have come because of the scary money belief that they held that really held them back. It's been really impactful and if you have one of those scary money stories and met with a pro and really, moved on from there, we'd love to have you on the show and share that success story.
Be one of those women, like it [00:17:00] happened to me and have those other eight women stand up and say, yeah, me too. We'd love to hear from you and spotlight you for all those accomplishments because it doesn't have to be that scary. We can get through it.
And so I know we're gonna have a couple other money stories from real life women come on the show. I think starting probably in the new year is when those are lined up. But even like bankruptcy, a lot of people think that's gonna be their scary money story. And we're gonna have a live conversation about that, of that experience and show that it's not as scary as as everyone makes it seem, you know?
Barb: And bankruptcy is a great tool, especially for women because so much I in society suppresses women's ability to support themselves and their families. let's say something medically happens that's an overwhelming expense and they find themselves in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt that they just know in their lifetime they could never pay off. It's a tool. Money doesn't have to be scary. Situations we find [00:18:00] ourselves in might feel really scary, but when you have the right tools and resources in your team, your financial team, you can conquer it.
You can turn what's in a place of scariness to a place of confidence and competence when you have the right financial team working with you to set you on the right road and get you working in the right position and start saving for your future while paying down any scary money story decisions that you may have made.
Maggie: So let's own this spooky season. I can't wait to hear about your money stories that you've overcome and taken control with, and until next time, be financially fearless.
Outro: You've been listening to Women Money, the shit we don't talk about. Now it's time to take what you've learned and make bold moves towards financial independence. Stay in the know by joining our newsletter for exclusive tools, resources, and updates that keep you financially fearless. Head to PurseStrings. co and [00:19:00] sign up today. Need a financial professional who gets it? Turn to PurseStrings Curated Directory, your go to resource for financial experts who know how to put you first. Love this episode? Leave us a review and help us empower even more women to own their financial power. Until next time, be financially fearless.
