Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
Money, Gratitude, and the Power of Community with Dr. Barb Provost and Maggie Nielsen
Happy (belated) Thanksgiving! We’re keeping it cozy, honest, and full of heart. In this solo episode, we’re sitting down together to talk about gratitude, money, community, and what it really means to take care of yourself during a season that pulls women in every direction.
We share childhood memories, our hot takes on Thanksgiving food, and the pressure so many women feel to give, support, host, and hold everything together. Filling your own cup isn’t selfish, it’s necessary, especially during the holiday season. We also discuss the financial side of the holidays. Women vote with their dollars every single day and generosity can look different this year in a tight economy. Being thoughtful about where our money goes can create real ripple effects in our communities.
Life happens. Women restart, rebuild, and rise again and again.
This conversation is warm, grounding, and full of real talk we all need before the holiday rush takes over. Grab a cozy drink, settle in, and spend Thanksgiving with us.
If you’re ready to learn, connect, and get more confident with your money, join us every Thursday at 11 AM Central for Money Talks. It’s free, it’s welcoming, and it’s built just for women. Whether you show up live or watch the replay, it’s one of the easiest ways to build your financial confidence week by week.
To reset your money mindset before the new year, join us December 4th for Money Talks. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions!
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Maggie: [00:00:00] Alright, Thanksgiving episode. Welcome folks.
Dr. Barb: Thanksgiving.
Maggie: You got Barb singing in your ear.
Dr. Barb: Oh yeah.
Maggie: So season it's about gratitude, right? Money also plays a role 'cause it always does.
Dr. Barb: It always does, for sure.
Do you remember when you were a little girl used to bring home those Thanksgiving turkeys. Yeah. With the hands.
Maggie: Oh yeah, this is my favorite.
Dr. Barb: You draw it and then you what? You put feathers and whatever. It's the Turkey.
Maggie: and then you eat it.
Dr. Barb: Yeah, anyway. Is Thanksgiving a favorite holiday for you? Maggie?
Maggie: Yeah. I like Thanksgiving.
Dr. Barb: I would presume you like it because I know you love to bake pies, and you're a very good pie baker.
Maggie: No, I like it. 'cause you just cook and you eat and you spend the day with the family doing that, you don't have to buy anyone gifts. You just come. We do it in cozy, not in anything formal unless I have an outfit. Then we all turn formal.
Dr. Barb: Based on what Maggie chooses to wear.
Maggie: Yeah, it depends on my vibe, you [00:01:00] know? I'll set the tone there.
So yeah, I do like that once you get older and learn more of, you know, the real things about Thanksgiving, you're like, Ooh, should I be celebrating this? But then it's just like, you know what? We're going for a thankful day. Things that we're thankful for, food, family, friends, period.
Dr. Barb: I think it comes at a time where people are ready to just chillax a little bit, kick back, and I think it's become less formal these days than it used to be. When I was younger, we did kind of get dressed up a little bit for Thanksgiving. I mean, it wasn't a big football day where, you know, in our house with lots of children, it didn't circulate around a lot of football or anything.
There was a lot of cooking. I remember with our big family, my mom would get up early in the morning and actually have two turkeys that she would cook in the oven. There was a lot of turkey cooking, going on a Turkey stuffing and all of that. And my mom worked really hard on cooking for Thanksgiving.
So a lot of that going on.
Maggie: But you don't really like Thanksgiving. I know [00:02:00] you don't.
Dr. Barb: It's not that I don't like Thanksgiving. I like Thanksgiving. It's not my favorite food. I think I admitted that to you the other day, like Thanksgiving food, the meal itself, like my younger brother, he loves all the food on Thanksgiving but for me, I guess, you know, I turned to you the other day and said, here's a hot take.
I don't like Thanksgiving food.
Maggie: It is all mushy though, you know, like I know some people who are like, it's a sweet potato and then a mashed potato and then a stuffing,
Dr. Barb: Yeah, a lot of soft food.
Maggie: Yeah. It'd be great. After a great mouth surgery,
Dr. Barb: And the Turkey is, to me, a little gamey. I mean, I don't normally eat Turkey.
Maggie: I could do everything but the Turkey, you know what I mean? Like, just don't worry about that. Just make all sides.
Dr. Barb: yeah, I mean, it's really the only time we cook a Turkey. It's traditional. But, it's childhood memories. Turkeys, my dad carving the Turkey with the, we used an electric knife.
Maggie: I remember those. We used to have one.
Dr. Barb: Yeah. And the wishbone, [00:03:00] finding the wishbone and the different kinds of stuffing my mom used to stuff the bird.
And then the stuffing that now is like you know, that got easier. And now it's more of a kickback football, appetizers, a lot more food frenzy, I would say. Football, I don't mind that at all. I don't mind the, I'm a sports person. I love football and sports and kicking back and being cozy 'cause working so hard.
Maggie: there's also the dog bowl that's on before that.
That's, don't forget that.
Dr. Barb: yeah, I mean, it's a time for us as memories to just plan on, cooking, baking, you've always done a lot of baking. Everyone looked forward to your pies and eating. And you usually did the baking, and I'd follow up and do the cleaning before you were done baking and you'd be like, where's my bowl?
Where's my spatula? And I'd be like, Oop, I put that in the dishwasher.
Maggie: I wasn't done. the economy has been a [00:04:00] time, and we were on our call the other day with all of our good handful of our Purse Strings Approved Professionals, just talking about just kind of collaborating and we have a couple people who really focus on like generosity and giving.
And we're also just kind of talking about as women, and I know I was sharing like there's this pressure of like taking care of everybody now these days. And really wanting to give back. And I know Thanksgiving's all around generosity, but there's also like such an important factor of like, you've gotta fill your own cup.
You can't pour from an empty cup, right? So make sure you're still doing your savings in your retirement before you help all these other people. Even though sometimes now it's like, oh, I gotta help all these people. We are, you know, discussing as like female or woman feel, you know, at this time.
And it was just really interesting that like everyone was feeling that way. I don't know if our listeners are too around this time, especially Thanksgiving, where it's always about giving and feeding and blah, blah blah, which is great, but it's also like you gotta fill your own cup. You know? [00:05:00] We need that reminder.
Dr. Barb: Yeah, for sure. And it's because, you know, this government uncertainties with the shutdown and the SNAP and people not getting their payroll and it's heightened anxiety and discomfort around people and the ability to for many to even get a meal. So as many communities do they come together and support food banks and many were saying they were changing their contributions to maybe instead of
putting money towards scholarships, putting money towards the food bank what the immediate needs are right now, and being very conscious of what the immediate needs are and making sure everybody has what they need. And like you say, it is very female focused. As moms, as women, wanting to make sure everyone has what they need and that they're well taken care of.
And as you say, sometimes it does get us into trouble a little bit because we don't put ourselves first. Sometimes we put ourselves second 'cause others are in more need than we are. And so, Thanksgiving also [00:06:00] is a time where I think we focus a lot more on those in need. And then sometimes we wonder, after Thanksgiving is over, do we then retreat and go back to normal and then forget, you know, that there are still people in need.
So it is kind of an ebb and flow around that.
Maggie: Yeah. And it was interesting how you know, it's always just, again, where you spend money, what's important to you. And so, you know, putting it towards one thing is removing it usually from something else, unless you get like more income and allocate it. But you know. We have these professionals who focus on generosity and really giving, and how you can consistently give throughout the year and then change that.
I know we have some other professionals who really focus on like ESG investing and values, and I think if you see companies that like step up, you're like, I wanna make sure I'm investing in them, you know, and it's cool to then kind of take a step back and look at the money that you already have going on and like, where is it going?
What is it funding? Is it helping those things? Who can do bigger things than I can do right now? So you're [00:07:00] really maximizing those dollars.
Dr. Barb: Well, it's true. You know, we vote with our dollars wherever we choose to put our money. And if we're thinking really consciously about it, we can really have a rippling effect. Just by supporting, know, I always say, small women owned businesses over big box or big stores because sometimes the money that are going towards bigger decisions that are not in our favor as women. And so we'd have no control over that. But you know, if you're going down the street to a local boutique or a local mom and pop shop that you know the money's helping communities in the area, it's helping those local business owners to stay in business.
And even though you might pay maybe a little bit more premium, it's well worth it because your community grows, it's a rippling effect for the community itself. So it's really being financially conscious that way. So often I think we just so quick to buy, so quick to go to big box stores and [00:08:00] fill our carts without really thinking what is the impact of this purchase down the road, and who am I really supporting with this purchase?
So when we think about Thanksgiving we have to really, as women think about the power that we have financially because women are very powerful. They make 95% of the purchasing decisions in the household. Think about it, we're like the household operations managers. We're buying the clothes for the children.
We're buying gloves for our moms, or you know, all the little errands that we're running, things were picking up the food. Are we being financially conscious in those decisions that we're making? Uh, Because we're voting with our dollars in every single dollar that we spend. And to be really financially conscious in this day and age, knowing that sometimes when we're spending those dollars, they might be going to something that doesn't serve us in the long run versus something that will really serve us in the long run.
So it's really about a time [00:09:00] of being really more educated about where our money's going.
Maggie: Yeah, I think that was great. And moving off of like to where having that education I wanted to give some gratitude for these people. We've seen every week coming to our money talks and getting that education. Because I was also thinking about how exciting it's been to have, like a couple people I see like week after week, and they'll ask their question and then like you can tell that they did something and then came back and like had kind of an extra follow on question.
But like you can see just through the questions how like actions are being taken. And we've heard from so many of these people like. I really didn't know what I didn't know, you know, like I didn't know to ask these questions, but just tuning in like I've learned so much. We have so many things going on, we always know this, but for these people to take the 30 minutes in their day just to do that, I'm just like yes.
Dr. Barb: It is powerful when they take the time. Make the time, right? Everyone's like, I'm so busy, I can't do that. It's about really being conscious about your time as well. Where am I gonna spend [00:10:00] my time? Just like spending your dollars. Where am I gonna spend my time? And we say, you know, really investing in yourself is
taking that time to come to things like money talks. We love to see know, repeat visitors who come and ask questions. It's a quick 30 minute nuggets of information by professionals and our community is really growing. And if you can't come, of course you can get the replays on our shared uh, resource page, which is really great too.
But, you know, women and many of us did not get financial literacy anywhere. Like you said, Maggie, with your MBA, there is no personal financial training. Right. And at purse strings our mission is always to get financial information, nuggets, bits of information out there. And the 30 minute money talks are so powerful.
And to have a financial professional at your fingertips to ask questions is a [00:11:00] gift. I think. We do have topics specific. They're always outlined at the beginning of each month, they're on our website and they're really focused on topics. Women really would benefit knowing about.
Maggie: Yeah, and I mean, if there's anything you don't see covered, like shoot us an email, let us know, DM us and we'll make it happen. I know we have some fun ones coming up in the new year. Even one is like WTF is an annuity, which also, I don't know how you say it, I mean in an annuity
Dr. Barb: What is an annuity? What the fuck is annuity?.
Maggie: I don't know.
We'll have to figure it out. But no, thankful for that and those people taking the time. That's been really fun this year. And it's just essential for women to have that community for us to keep learning. And I was on this other podcast episode and she's like, why do you think women need community?
I'm like, that's just how we're as humans as humans, you know? I was like, they would go hunt and we'd gather together. We live in communities together like some cook, some take care of kids, like women are just community. Like [00:12:00] I'm not a scientist. I can't explain it. It just is.
Dr. Barb: Well, it's interesting. I was in a learning opportunity that we were putting on I know that sounded so formal. But, this woman came up to me and she almost whispered to me. She said, you know, I got divorced in my forties and I had to start over. I just said, yeah. She's like, I had to start over, Barb.
And I said I get it. I know. And she was saying it like, it was only her, you know? And I felt that from her because we've all been in situations where they thought, it's only me. Like I'm the one that made a big mistake or I failed. Or I don't really want everyone to know that I made this error.
You know, life happens. It's happened to so many women, and you know what? That's what we're here for because it's happened to you. It's happened to hundreds and thousands of women, and that's what we're here for. And I said, Hey, we have all the tools and resources to help you get back on your feet [00:13:00] and build a really beautiful life with a great financial future.
I know it sounds impossible right now. It's possible. You just need to take a brave step forward and join us either at a Money Talk, listen to our podcast, download one of our worksheets, get a free consultation with one of our financial professionals. We got you right. This is a soft place to land.
Maggie: Not to diminish her feelings, but I just wanna be like, yeah, you and like 400 other women I could name. Not to make this about me, but here we are. There's no guess. So it's about us. For those who don't know, it was my birthday earlier this month, and
there are like things, expectations you set for yourself that you might not have reached because we just thought these imaginary numbers in our head, like, you have to hit these successes by this point. And no, I did not fill that whole checklist because it was impossible. But there are so many times where I just thought about like, there's so many women I've met over this five years, like who have [00:14:00] redone it at 50?
I was like, God, there's nothing to worry about. You know what I mean? Because so many of 'em have hit the top, hit the bottom, and have come back up again. And I'm just like, okay. So I didn't hit a couple of these things by now. Like these people have done it three times.
Dr. Barb: Yeah, they reinvented themselves.
Maggie: Like over and over I was like, this is just like one of many
lifetimes, you know, in the lifetime. And it's just, I think, I don't know, I just get goosebumps and I love having, like, all these women, I don't know, I feel like they're all over 50 or who've like done it 18 times over again and you're just like, alright, cool. Like, there's no timeline. It's just gonna keep riding out and if it's low, it's gonna get high, and if it's high it's gonna get low.
But it's been just amazing to have those stories to be like, oh yeah, it's, don't worry about it.
Dr. Barb: Yeah, I mean, women are tenacious. It's incredible. As you listen to our podcast, the stories of some of these women who've overcome such adversity and came out just shining like a diamond, right? I mean, because they realize, either it's a survival mode or they've looked at their children's [00:15:00] eyes and thought, I have to make sure these children get fed and survive.
And they just took the bull by the horns and really did everything they could. And they've done amazing things.
Maggie: It is just crazy. It's amazing. It's inspirational.
Dr. Barb: And a lot of them worked in community, right? It's about lifting all boats and it's about really sharing, being kind of the ying and the yang. Like, I have this skill, I can help with this. What can you help me with? And really making sure all of us together, making sure that we can meet our goals.
Maggie: I always feel like a friend told me I was good at this thing, or a friend told me, you know, like, I always had this quality, you know? And it reminded him of this friend who does this obscure thing, you know, or like who went through the same situation. Like it's always connecting the webs. I feel like everyone's story starts from like listening to what somebody else told us, and it's like, actually maybe I should dive deeper into that.
Dr. Barb: Yeah. And community will lift you up, right? I mean, there's so much in the world that can smack you down, but community will lift you up and will really share with you what are your great [00:16:00] skills? What do you bring to the table? You know, like every time you walk in the room, I'm so glad you're here because you are such an inspiration or whatever it might be or, I'm glad that you came today.
Like I said last night, Maggie, I met somebody who met you a long time ago mentioned your name, remembered who you were, and gave you a really nice compliment. And it's like people remember, right? And they want you to be in community and one helps the other all the time.
So what is one like Thanksgiving gratitude that you have, Maggie, that you're thankful for and that you wanna think about with purse strings, the year to come.
Maggie: Well, I mean, I am thankful for that community that we've built that's always been great on both sides, our professionals and our communities of women. I wanna say thank you to you. I have thank yous to write and to my two friends who came to town to celebrate my birthday and surprised me and just had a great weekend. And I was like, Ugh. We always talk about at the end of our show, like, how do you define financial freedom?
You know? And I was like, as much money in the world, I can't force these people to come and do this for me. And they did that for me. And [00:17:00] I was like, wow, that's that's love. That's what I'm grateful for these good people in my life.
Dr. Barb: Yeah, they are. They were wonderful people and we had such a fabulous time.
Maggie: And we gotta dance.
Dr. Barb: And we danced to the seventies music. Yeah,
Maggie: Barb gets groovy.
Dr. Barb: Yep.
Maggie: She was out till midnight.
Dr. Barb: I know, I didn't turn into a pumpkin either.
Maggie: No. Yeah,
You went home and actually played a game.
Dr. Barb: We even played more games.
Yeah. Hey, I showed up for your birthday girl.
Maggie: I was shook.
Dr. Barb: I know. We had a great time. I'm glad. I would say I'm so thankful when it's so unexpected where somebody will say, oh, your Purse Strings. Oh yeah, I remember I heard you on a podcast, or I was looking at your website and I reached out to one of your professionals.
Or, you know, I think the work you're doing is fantastic. It's so needed. Because I think, wow, this came from a seedling, from a need, from something I thought this is so necessary when I saw this [00:18:00] woman in the grocery store who literally had to be in her eighties, stocking shelves.
I thought someone did her disservice. We need to help these women. And, out of those thoughts and out of that discomfort I felt for her and for other women I thought, you know, I have some gifts. I've worked hard to learn about adult education. I can bring those gifts to the table and help others.
And it brings me joy to do that, and I think we're making some ripples and making impact to people we know and even people we don't know, and I'm thankful to be able to do that on a day-to-day basis and grow Purse Strings and let other people know that's what we're here for. So that all women have a go-to resource so that they can live a life that's really full and they feel more confident and they feel like they're gonna be able to live a beautiful financially full life.
Maggie: And think about it like finances can be generational. So it's more than one generation, you know, [00:19:00] like Ripple ripple, like my kids', kids and their wealth. Bda, bing, bda, boom.
Dr. Barb: I know. We just gotta get the word out more,
Maggie: Well, I'm saying it as loud as I can into this mic.
Dr. Barb: Spread the word.
Maggie: Yeah, I think this was a great conversation on gratitude, what we're thankful for. We'd love to hear on the comments email us, which you're grateful for and any other, you know, topics you'd like to see also in the upcoming year in Money Talks and hope to see you
next week at Money Talks Thursday, 11:00 AM Central.
Dr. Barb: Every week at Money Talks, 11:00 AM Central.
Maggie: See you there.
