Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
Women & Money: The Shit We Don't Talk About!
When Everything Feels Heavy, Find Community and Take Action with Dr. Barb and Maggie
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We couldn’t pretend everything was normal.
This week, it’s just us, Barb and Maggie, interrupting our regular programming to have a real conversation about what’s happening in the world right now.
We talk about fear, exhaustion, and what it feels like to keep showing up for life, work, and community when everything feels heavy. We also get honest about how social media impacts what we see, what we don’t see, and how hard it is to know what to do next.
Most importantly, we talk about action.
The small things that matter. The ways women can use their voices, their money, and their communities to create ripple effects, even when we feel overwhelmed. If you’re feeling scared, angry, numb, heartbroken, or all of the above, this episode is a reminder that you’re not alone. We’re in it with you.
We encourage you to make impactful choices with your spending and investments, and to engage in actions (both big and small) to support communities and bring about positive change.
Want to take this conversation one step further? Join us for our next Money Talks, a free 30 minute live session where we’ll dig into a question we hear all the time from women business owners: Budgeting for Businesses to Offer Benefits. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions!
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Barb: [00:00:00] Well, I guess we would say that, we want to kind of interrupt our regular special programming to break in and really just have a candid conversation about what's going on in this fricking world today, which is something really scary and something really unprecedented
Maggie: Unprecedented time would just end with COVID.
Barb: This is worse.
Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk about.
Barb: We can't look away, right? I mean, we watch the news, we [00:01:00] see what's happening. Neither you nor I live in Minnesota, but I live in Chicago. You live in Missouri, and it doesn't matter anymore where you live because, everyone's afraid, everyone's scared. And we are two white women who really can walk down the street without any fear.
Barb: I mean, for the most part, we have fears of a different kind. But in this day and age we talked to one of our PSAPs who said she's afraid to let her grown children go out of the house and go to school and all of that because they're Hispanic and just the color of their skin, they could get stopped.
Barb: And people are not sending their children to school. And I don't blame them.
Maggie: Doing all the things.
Barb: Yeah, people are shopping for their neighbors, which I think is great. I mean, people are coming together in that respect, but when it comes to killing innocent people on the street, Americans killing Americans, we've come to a [00:02:00] place
Barb: where there's no way you could wrap your head around this happening.
Maggie: I would say part of the reason why we wanna do this episode is like, we know we can't just stay focused on these other things and pretend like it's not happening. Like everyone feels it, everyone's exhausted. It seems insensitive to just talk about any of these other topics because this is lives.
Barb: And we need to check in with each other. I mean, it's almost like your sense of stability. it's like in our bodies are so unregulated because every time we pick up the phone or read something across the, television, it's so scary to think the world that we're living in. I mean, and the worst thing is, is that, it could become normal, it could be normalcy. I mean, we're still sending children to school and we know that there are all these school shootings every day, hopefully it won't happen, but it's like the expectation. Yeah, that could happen. That should never be the expectation.
Barb: Killing people [00:03:00] on the street like this should never be the expectation. We have rights to protest and to use our voices.
Maggie: it's not something I ever thought I would live through. I saw like the Holocaust and all these protests always in the history books of black and whites going to school together and women's rights and all these things. And I always thought, well, those are black and white pictures of the past
Maggie: it's scary how we're living through it. And social media does make it such a different age where you're connected to it for better or for worse.
Barb: In real
Maggie: the time,
Maggie: All the time. You see the videos, you see the shooting, like, which is
Maggie: new to take in.
Barb: But I say not a bad thing 'cause we're seeing in reality what's really happening out there. And it's not masked by a news reporter reiterating what we think we saw, which is a lot of times in these news channels, so one-sided and not the truth. So I think these, people who are out on the streets and reporting and showing real life are the ones [00:04:00] that are telling us the truth.
Maggie: Yes and no. And the reason I say that is because, I mean, we just saw that TikTok was purchased. I've seen so many articles recently about how, if you mention, ice, if you mention Epstein, they're muting your videos now. That's also happening across like Facebook and Instagram. And so as much as things are shared, yes, it's depending what these big honchos want to do who are all a conglomerate and
Maggie: have a different agenda and so it can't all be shared. I mean, some of these things I know get back passed around. Like there was that one time about how they wanted to pull a 60 minutes clip, which pulled from the United States, but didn't pull from around the world. And so I saw people's TV recordings of what was projected at their 60 minutes, you know, in Canada, or Somewhere in Europe. And so, it makes me wonder how much also I'm not seeing and what's still being muted out there because you know, I have a girlfriend in Minnesota, and [00:05:00] she's like, they're in my neighborhood, we're out there with whistles. She's out there with candles. And she's like, the news is not even doing a justice of what's happening.
Maggie: Which is so hard because like, you know, her personally, she's also fighting cancer at the same time. It's also no degrees outside. I have a somebody else who, whose mom's passing away and it's hard just to go on your everyday life and deal with these things that are also very hard
Maggie: and have this on top of it.
Maggie: It's not like everything else stops. We are talking It's hard as business owners because it's not like this is also our, income, here running a business. And so how do we also go on the streets and protest and stick to the man and do these things? Well, we still have to make sales and run our business because you've gotta eat too.
Maggie: And where's the middle ground in these different things, when you're pulled in every direction, and all of them are very draining.
Barb: And I think that's why it's important to have your circle of who do you check in with? Like I texted a dear friend of mine and I [00:06:00] said, where can I just go scream at the top of my lungs? Where can I scream into a canyon or a pillow or something like that? Because it's like you don't know what to do.
Maggie: You ever drive down the highway and scream in the car, plus or minus the windows down? You can't do it at a stoplight. No, I've done this before. It is the most cathartic thing.
Barb: That's a great idea.
Maggie: Get on the highway. Don't be next to people. Scream bloody murder in the top of your car. God, it's amazing.
Barb: And, find that circle of friends that you can text, some of my sibs, some of my very close friends, like, what can we do? And, and you know, I'll tell you Maggie, and. I love that those people got out and protested in like zero or negative degree weather. I mean, the power of all those people coming together just made me feel good that people were stopping everything that they would do in their normal day and making this the priority and standing up and making their voices be heard.
Barb: My concern though is, does it do anything? Does [00:07:00] it move the needle?
Maggie: It doesn't not do anything. It's not gonna make it worse, I don't think. And so that's kind of where I'm coming from is like, we've gotta be out there and show our ways. And it's, again, I think it's different with the social media times before a protest you'd do it, you'd go home and people would see it on the street.
Maggie: Now it's a lot of people feel unsafe going to protests, which I hear you. A lot of people are not physically capable to do it, which I get. Especially when it's no degrees outside, it's no easy feat. And so it is finding those ways that you can be a helpful hand, whether that be, going to the grocery store for your neighbors.
Maggie: I always have like the five calls app and doing your five calls a day to your local government, leaving the messages, I mean. You can't do nothing.
Maggie: But it is part of like, is this enough? How do I do more? Because I'm not in Minnesota, but you know, in Kansas City there are spottings, I know people are reposting it, but it's scary.
Maggie: And it is that need for community, having that safe space [00:08:00] just to, know, debrief.
Maggie: Yeah.
Barb: debrief, talk it out, share your feelings. Have an opportunity to kind of. Unpack what you're feeling and checking in with other people. How are you doing? How's it going? Instead of just going right into your meetings and going on with your day, acknowledging that there's crap going on, really, really bad stuff around us.
Barb: And it's very, very scary. It's a very scary time. I think it's scarier than COVID. And I would say, for the work that we do around empowering women, there's no time like the present because I feel a lot of misogyny and I think they're coming for us like they always are and suppressing the rights of women
Maggie: I mean, they're suppressing everyone's rights. And so when we are already feeling second tier,
Maggie: and that's just like. Now there's just not even human care.
Barb: Yeah. It doesn't make sense. And I think about growing up when we read the Diary of Anne Frank and see [00:09:00] that play, which I think is so powerful. And I would think to myself as a young woman, why did the people let this happen? Why didn't people in government or leadership come forth and stop this inhumane behavior?
Barb: And, I couldn't understand it because I believe that the government, especially in the United States was really powerful and could have done something and I, I always, never could understand it and yet, fast forward to today. Our own government is killing us. It's almost parallel. It's so, so scary of people not being able to leave their home.
Barb: People being, picked out of a crowd based on the color of their skin or their accent or something like that. And just being berated, pushed down, put in cars, taken away without any conversation about who are you or what are you doing? It's just not right. It's just so scary.
Maggie: There's a process and a procedure for a reason. It's not being followed. I mean, again, my friend in Minnesota said, there's a couple people at Target she works with who have [00:10:00] been taken away and they were 17, they're under age, It's horrible. And so we just wanted to have this conversation to have it be acknowledged but also to, kind of bring back to that community of, we're here for you. We have that open space if anyone does wanna talk. We understand, it's not the time people are doing their estate plans and purchasing annuities and, and, and getting everything in line, it's like, no, my focus is somewhere else.
Maggie: But it's also a big turn back to spending with your values and really seeing, the companies where you're spending money, who are they supporting? Because, if we know anything, if the money dries up, then people's attention starts turning. It's all back to the money all the time.
Barb: It's frustrating. And the other thing is, is there're like six or eight billionaires in the country that are really running everything.
Maggie: Everything
Maggie: including. their umbrellas, whatever it is. And I, as you well know, [00:11:00] Mags, do my darnedest not to go to any big box stores. I canceled my Amazon account. the reader, whatever that or audible that I've had for like 15 years, I just have to live by my convictions and I cannot just support that. Even if it's my 10, $15 a month or whatever it might be. I don't care. That adds up and it's not going to them. I do my best, and I say this a lot too
Barb: when I'm facilitating to other women, like I had this session, why women should invest Now and in the room we're like 16 to 18, really powerful, cool women. And we had a fantastic conversation about why it's so important for women to really learn about their money, know where their money's going,
Barb: know how they're spending, where they're spending, and how they're investing because so often we've just went to the grocery store, went to the store, that store, and bought things not realizing that slowly but surely, those companies are the ones that are [00:12:00] supporting this behavior. They're funding it, they're giving them locations to use, car rental companies, they're giving them their parking lots to go ahead and put their cars there and group there and in any way that they're supporting this behavior. You have to wonder, what's happening to our world and am I gonna be supporting this?
Barb: And women have power in what they're spending and where they're spending because they make 95% of the purchasing decisions in the household, and they're coming into the largest transfer. And I don't want that transfer to be screwed up. Not be able to be leveraged. I can just, I can see it, you know it's gonna happen.
Barb: As they know that money's coming to women, they're gonna put in some kind of law or some kind of something that says, well, women can't really get all that money. It's gotta first do go here, or something like that. I don't know what they're gonna make up, but my fear is that when they know that money's coming into the hands of women, and women can be very powerful, something can happen.
Barb: So now is the time [00:13:00] for women to really lean in and start learning about the power they have and how to use it in a way to be financially conscious and to shift the tide a little bit in how they're leveraging their money.
Maggie: And I would say it goes beyond, daily spending. There are so many of our like 401Ks and group investments that go into a diverse portfolio.
Barb: What does that mean?
Maggie: what does that mean? It means it's a lot of different companies and so you are investing in some of these companies and so like, I know that's on my to-do list.
Maggie: I meant to do it yesterday, this afternoon, is like look at my personal investments that are in these diverse portfolios and ensure that any of these companies are taken out. I do not want them funded. It's like how people used to be so adamant about, not funding anything with cigarettes and tobacco.
Maggie: Like I am not funding any of these companies that are supporting ICE, that are giving their resources. And there are plenty of other, [00:14:00] investible stocks that I could do that will still grow my wealth. That are not funding that because, I mean, this is where our healthcare cuts are going is, is to ice, and all these investments, our 401Ks are funding them right now.
Maggie: And so what can you do? You know, And so that's looking at your investments. If you don't know, call up your financial advisor. And if they don't know. Dig into it. You're a client, this is your money. Tell 'em how you want it dealt with, you know, and if they can't figure it out, go up the chain.
Maggie: And I mean, we're at the point right now where if someone doesn't get it, if someone's not supporting you on that, like next
Maggie: we're moving on
Barb: There's plenty out there for
Barb: sure. Yeah.
Maggie: There's plenty out there we could talk about. If people have more questions, we can make a session and get people on there about how to get this done.
Maggie: But like, it's more than the everyday spending. It's where your investments are going because they're using that money right now. And so we have power because trust me, if we all took our money out of those big conglomerates and just moved them into these, other [00:15:00] businesses that are doing the good work.
Maggie: That's gonna make an impact. I mean, that's also just as great as going out and protesting, speak with your money as well. And do what you can. We only have so much time in a day. We still have to take care of our kids and our parents and whoever else we're caring for.
Maggie: Like, I hear you. I get it. So, try to do something to fill your own cup, even though sometimes I know personally that feels hard, like I shouldn't even be enjoying my time because people are out there dying on the streets. But like we always say, you can't pour from an empty cup, right? So you have to make sure you're taking care of your health yourself.
Maggie: But then do what you can, whether that be making the phone calls, moving the investments, going out and protesting, purchasing for your neighbors, getting in any of the support groups. I know a lot of them are moving off of Facebook and on, GroupMe or WhatsApp or Discord or
Maggie: something we're not as tracked as much.
Maggie: So you have to do that effort to get on there [00:16:00] and, and, and be out there. But we have to do it and we have to find our community.
Barb: I mean, little tiny actions can make a big ripple. Like you say, we can't do everything in a day. My thing is get educated, learn as much as you can. Purse strings is here to help with that. Here to help come speak to your groups provide any tools or resources,
Barb: have good financial professionals, speak to your groups as well, so you can learn as much as you can. And really women as I saw in this group, they're all over the board. Some are really doing well, some are really struggling, not by any fault of their own, really, it's just life is hard for women in terms of if they get divorced, women lose in divorce, when they have children, they come out of the workforce so they don't have contributions to social security or their matches,
Barb: if they had that as a benefit, plus they lose their healthcare, they have to buy healthcare, perhaps all of that adds up. [00:17:00] And we well know, and it's been proven. The day in the life of a woman is a lot more expensive to live than it is for a man. So that's why we need to learn how to best leverage our dollars and our investments and that we too need to invest.
Barb: It's just not save, it's just not put your little pennies in a piggy bank and save. It's really. Learn investing. You don't have to do it yourself. Talk to your financial professionals or any one of our purse strings approved professionals who can help you understand that 'cause those will make big, big ripples.
Maggie: And I guess my last note there is what you have, where it's going, all those things, then you can do more with your money. Giving to these causes that are boots on the ground, giving to these causes that are fighting the legal battles, giving to these causes that are doing like immigration law. To help people be in the country and be here legally and safely in providing those complimentary legal services. And so I think that's my always biggest push is like, sometimes I feel [00:18:00] so small and little, but like if I know then like I can continuously when things are good or when things are bad, continuously give to some of these organizations that are putting out the real news that are, doing the boots on the ground work.
Maggie: That's a huge impact. And so since women have this money, if you could fill your cup and fill their cup, that's amazing. You know? And so again, it comes. comes back to the money. It always does. Money is everything. And so with that power there is so much you can do. So it's not just get out your budget, cut a subscription, but like where, I mean like sometimes that's how it feels, and people are tired of hearing that, but it's like, this is how you make the impact, like God, every day I look up to Mackenzie Scott who's doing huge donations all the time and not looking for any PR, any kickback, any nothing. I'm on this other feed that's like, Taylor, anybody, you're gonna speak up, you're gonna donate a dollar.
Maggie: But [00:19:00] we've gotta do what we can. And part of that is, what organizations can we donate and making sure you, you vet those thoroughly as well.
Barb: Mm-hmm. That's for sure. You know, if you can't make those donations, it's just what are acts of service that you can do very simply, very simply whether it's helping people with their groceries or, god knows here in Chicago you could help shovel. Just the little things can really help people move along.
Barb: So We just wanted to take this time to vent a little bit, to share our angst to say we get it. I mean, yeah, you need to go on and work and live and do your thing, but we all need to acknowledge what's going on and do our best fair share to help this world get back on track.
Maggie: Yeah, so we encourage you to. Take an action or two today, make the five calls. Talk to a neighbor, see what you can do. See if you can get in a group. You know what I thought? Was really made my heart happy is, did you see [00:20:00] like a couple weeks ago when people would put little like food banks outside their house?
Maggie: They made like these little huts, almost like lemonade stands, with just some groceries and stuff, and it's just like, take what you need or whatever. And I'm just like, when the community comes together, I just get so warm hearted. It's just the sweetest thing and it's like, I wish we didn't have to do this.
Maggie: But the way it's coming together, it's really, just try to get those little bits of happiness in the middle. you know?
Barb: Power to the people for sure. I mean, it's oftentimes the people who have the least, will help the most. It's so insightful.
Maggie: Yeah, And know that we're here as a Purse Strings community to support you. We have our Facebook group. Happy to hold any conversations. We have our money talks, come and have any conversations. Always shoot us an email, you know, whatever it is. We wanna be there to support you as well.
Maggie: Have you know that, this is a safe space and we're all in this together.
Barb: Women helping women, and we gotta keep our chin up, right? I mean, this too will pass. It will pass. This is a dark, dark [00:21:00] couple of days and so often people say, well, it's gonna get worse before it gets better, which just makes my heart so, so heavy. Like how could it get much worse? But I think we just need to buckle in and link arms and do what we can to support one another.
Maggie: So we appreciate you listening today. We appreciate you being part of the community and sending some love.
Barb: Yeah, sending love, strength, support.
Outro: You've been listening to Women Money, the shit we don't talk about. Now it's time to take what you've learned and make bold moves towards financial independence. Stay in the know by joining our newsletter for exclusive tools, resources, and updates that keep you financially fearless. Head to PurseStrings. co and sign up today. Need a financial professional who gets it? Turn to PurseStrings Curated Directory, your go to resource for financial experts who know how to put you first. Love this episode? Leave us a review and help us empower even more women to own their financial power. Until next time, [00:22:00] be financially fearless.
