Stop Hustling: The Identity Shift That Changes Your Income with Elyse Archer

First up, in honor of Women’s History Month, we are celebrating 100 Women. 100 Power Moves, spotlighting women making powerful financial decisions. Learn more and nominate someone you know here!

Speaking of powerful women, this week on Women & Money: The Shit We Don’t Talk About, Maggie sits down with Elyse Archer, the founder of the Superhuman Selling and She Sells Movements, which empower entrepreneurs and sales professionals to revolutionize how they sell, explode their income and achieve quantum leaps in all areas of life.

What if the biggest thing holding back your income isn’t strategy, the economy, or your business model?

Elyse shares how her journey began in corporate sales, where she quickly rose to the top while quietly struggling with anxiety and the pressure to appear like she had everything together. 

She also opens up about a pivotal moment in her business when she invested $50,000 in mentorship despite not having the money readily available. Trusting her intuition was uncomfortable, but it led to a breakthrough. Within six weeks, she turned her annual income into her monthly income and grew her business from six figures to seven figures. 

Elyse also shares how learning to balance feminine and masculine energy in business helped her move away from constant hustle and toward a more aligned and sustainable way of growing her company.

Here’s the Four Quadrants of Quantum Sales Growth, where she breaks down the process behind that breakthrough and how others can create their own quantum leap.

Want practical strategies to strengthen your business finances? Join next week’s Money Talks, “Business Cashflow Hacks & Funding Sources” Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions!  

Follow & connect with Elyse Archer:

• The Four Quadrants of Quantum Sales Growth 
• Website 
• Instagram: @elysearcher 
• LinkedIn 
• Youtube 

This episode is supported by Randall Franklin of Franklin Wealth Management, who works with female entrepreneurs and business owners to create personalized financial strategies that support their entire life journey, not just their business. Randall’s approach starts by understanding the full picture, both financial and non-financial, so your plan reflects what matters most to you. He helps women navigate the added pressure of balancing family, work, and major financial decisions with greater clarity and confidence. If you’re ready to gain clarity, see the big picture, and move forward with confidence, you can schedule a complimentary here 👈 Learn more at www.franklinwealthmanagement.com 

Investment advice offered through OneAscent Financial Services, LLC, d/b/a Franklin Wealth Management, a Registered Investment Adviser with the United States Securities and Exchange Commission. Registration as an investment adviser does not imply any certain degree of skill or training.

Want to take this conversation one step further? Join us for our next Money Talks, a free 30 minute live session where we’ll dig into a question we hear all the time from women business owners: Budgeting for Businesses to Offer Benefits. Click here to register for FREE and bring your questions! 

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Transcript

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[00:00:00] 

Hello friends. Welcome to Women and Money, the show we don't talk about. Dr. Barb is not here, so it's just gonna be me and our guest, Elyse. 

In this episode we're talking about sales and business sales and it's been an interesting journey being a business owner. Do you ever realize you're in a flow state and it's like not when you expected it might happen? I've been reading more about this. I heard about it on a different podcast and like sometimes people are in a flow state when they're like. In a database that would be more of me, like if I'm in an Excel spreadsheet working on something like I'm in a flow state, other people are in a flow state, sometimes at the gym or I know sometimes like a lot of painters will get into a flow state and just be in their zone for hours and you look up and hours have passed and sometimes as business owners.

 We're told so much by everybody else what we should be doing and how it should be done, that we're not in that flow state anymore. And things just feel so tough. They feel like you're going upstream. And so this episode with Elyse is a lot of fun because she talks [00:01:00] about business sales, but how to do that from a flow state, how to do that from your feminine energy, how to do that with feeling like that million dollar business owner.

 And so. I just think this is a great episode for all women to listen to, business owner or not saleswoman or not, because we're always buying, we're always selling, but we also always wanna find that nice, happy medium that we can just kind of enjoy each aspect of our life. So without telling you more, I'm just gonna get into it.

So let's get started.

Gloria Steinem once said, we will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth. Barbara Provost and Maggie Nielsen are the team at purse strings that will help you navigate the ins and outs of financial independence so that you can be financially fearless. This is women in money, the shit we don't talk [00:02:00] about.

Maggie: Elyse, welcome to Women and Money. The shit we don't talk about. I know we met at the Women in Insurance and Financial Services Conference, WIFS, which have been just such a great partnership and such a great community of women. So we're excited that we met you there and to have you on the show today.

Maggie: So before we dive in, can you share a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Elyse: I am so happy to Maggie, thank you for having me. This is really fun. So professionally, I am the founder and CEO of my company, She Sells. And then we also have another brand called Superhuman Selling. And in my personal life, I am married to a full-time medical school student, so we're going through that journey.

Elyse: We're third year right now as we record this. I am a mom of three kids, five and under, so life is crazy and full, and I am always learning how to do life and business and integrate. Things together and flow from [00:03:00] podcast recording to homeschooling with my middle one and doing the things.

Elyse: So, you know, I'll give a little bit of context for the why behind why I do what I do, if that's helpful. I started she sells over 10 years ago 'cause I had come up in corporate sales and I just felt like there was so much taught in terms of how you had to sell that just felt really gross to me and felt out of integrity and inauthentic. And I found myself in my late twenties, you know, top of the corporate leaderboard, but secretly struggling with panic attacks, anxiety and eating disorder, and not wanting to tell anyone about what I was going through inside. 'cause I really believed in having kind of that persona on the outside of having it all put together.

Elyse: And launched my company. Again, really focused in the sales space, but what I'll say is over the years, just along with my own personal growth and what I've learned the biggest transformations and what actually increases a woman's earnings potential, it's [00:04:00] all the inner work, it's all identity, it's all how much are you willing to receive, how much are you willing to allow?

Elyse: Learning to integrate feminine and masculine energy. I thought feminine energy was a dirty word for so long in my life. So more than happy to take that wherever you wanna take it. But the thing I'm most passionate about is supporting women in making as much money as they possibly can in a way that feels good to them, so that they can live as the fullest expression of themselves, both professionally and personally, and have it all.

Elyse: That's what I care about. So please take that wherever you wanna take it. But super passionate about it. Yeah. 

Maggie: It's so good. And sales is hard, right? And so I know right when we started a business, we like hired a sales coach right away. But it is, you know, we hear a lot of, like when financial advisors sell to women, when they were kind of trained, it was like, find a suspect, make 'em a prospect, have one meeting and sell straight to them.

Maggie: And we talk all the time of like, that's not how women buy. That's not how women sell. [00:05:00] But it's not always like this, this gender way. I think everybody needs to have a little bit of that feminine and masculine energy. So I know a lot of people, especially business owners with the economy are thinking, you know, people are just not spending money right now.

Maggie: Is that true or are they just not confident in what they're selling? Or is there a, you know, the middle of the Venn diagram.

Elyse: Yeah. So I'm gonna say something that might not be popular on this podcast. I don't pay attention to it. So when people are, are like, oh, no one's buying because of the economy, obviously with financial advisors, you gotta know, you gotta pay attention. So I'm not disregarding that. But I, I coach clients in all different industries.

Elyse: I coach a lot of advisors. I coach. Coaches, B2B, sales reps, account execs, founders, entrepreneurs. For me personally, I don't pay attention because I don't want to create a reason why I cannot be as successful as I want to [00:06:00] be. So I believe I create my own economy even in my own business.

Elyse: I look at our growth over the years, it's never been impacted by the economy because I, I never say that's a reason why I can't sell or grow. And if you look at. In any business or in any industry, in down economies, that's when the most millionaires are made. People know this. So I think it all has to do with the meaning that you give it.

Elyse: And if you say, oh, it's a, you know, down economy or this, this and that, I'm not gonna sell as much, well then that's the experience you're gonna have because that's what you're telling yourself. That's what you're programming your subconscious mind to look for, and it's gonna mirror that back. But if you say.

Elyse: This is when more millionaires are made than ever before, what a great opportunity. Then you're gonna be one of the people who thrives in a sense. So the bottom line for me was, I would say, obviously with your listeners, you need to know what's going on. But at the same time, what would it look like to make your own economy in your [00:07:00] business?

Elyse: What would that look like for you? And the advisors that I work with and coach, they thrive and it doesn't have anything to do with the economy. 'cause they are, they believe in creating their own reality there. 

Maggie: I mean, that makes so much sense. It's like the affirmation that you're telling yourself, right? And so you will find, you will prove it to be true. And so, you would still argue it's a great time for people to grow their business, right? I mean, like you said, it's the time. Yeah. It's always a great 

Maggie: time. Right. 

Elyse: Here's the thing, you decide it's a great time to grow your business, it's gonna be a great time to grow your business. I think for me, it's always a great time to grow my business. I'm always thinking about growth. I'm always thinking about expansion.

Elyse: I'm always thinking about what's next. Has nothing to do with economy or anything outside of me. I, I really don't pay attention to it

Elyse: because I.

Elyse: wanna focus on what I want and create that. 

Maggie: So when we feel kind of either this overwhelm, this uncertainty, the economy, whatever noise is going on, it seems like women tend to shrink a little bit, lowering their bar, lowering their expectations or overworking, which [00:08:00] is easy to do. So why do we kind of default to this? And please, please tell us how we stop that pattern.

Elyse: Well, I think it really has to do with what you're paying attention to, which kind of ties in with our past conversation. And I remember there was a time in my own life, in my own business, maybe five years ago. When I had just made the biggest investment I'd ever made in personal coaching and mentorship, it was $50,000.

Elyse: Frankly, I didn't have the money sitting around. I put it on a credit card that I had this knowing in me. I was like, I have to do this. But it was so uncomfortable. I was so uncomfortable, and it triggered. Every fear I had, I was the breadwinner in our family. It triggered every fear I had about money security, trusting myself.

Elyse: I'm thinking, oh my gosh, did I just make the worst mistake of my life? Did I just put my family in financial jeopardy? And at that time, I remember I was reading a book by a [00:09:00] well-respected New York Times bestselling author about how to manage your money. And everything in the book was telling me that what I had just done was wrong.

Elyse: My intuition had told me very clearly, this is what you need to do. I told my mentor and my coach at the time, I was like, I'm reading this book and I'm panicking. 'cause I'm thinking, oh my gosh, did I just make the mistake? Did I just do the wrong thing? And she said, Elyse, anyone or anything that makes you doubt or question yourself, stop paying attention to it.

Elyse: That was a pivotal moment because it was a moment I took my power back and said, okay, someone can be a New York Times bestselling author. Someone can have a great method that's respected by a lot of people, and in this moment, in this season of my life, this is not the right material for me to be paying attention to.

Elyse: Not that it couldn't be down the road, but. I learned at that time the importance of guarding your energy. And I almost, I, I put on blinders and I was like, [00:10:00] okay, my intuition told me to do this. I'm focused. Let's go. And the second half of that story is prior to making that investment in myself, I've been stuck at the same income level for 10 years, constantly struggling with worry, money, limiting beliefs, anxiety, fear.

Elyse: I followed my intuition. I told almost no one I was doing this aside from my husband 'cause I had to use the credit card and, and my mentor in six weeks of following my intuition and doing that. I turned my annual income into my monthly income. I took my business from six to seven figures like that, six weeks after being stuck for 10 years.

Elyse: But if I had paid attention to, number one, if I told people who were gonna plant seeds of doubt, I would've probably not done it, and I would've freaked out, and I would've gone on a different path. If I had read that book and kept reading that book and questioning and spiraling, I wouldn't have taken the inspired action that I took in that season of, whew, let's go.

Elyse: That helped me get to where. I got. And [00:11:00] so I would say for anyone who's listening, who's like, oh my gosh, I'm hearing this or that outside of me and I'm shrinking, or I notice that I'm questioning myself. Stop it. What are you paying attention to that has you doubting or questioning yourself?

Elyse: Block it out. Your energy, your focus, your attention, it is that important. And when you realize that that is the most valuable asset, that you are the most valuable asset in your business. Not the money, not the degrees or the certifications, it's you. It's your energy, it's your focus. You protect that like it's your firstborn.

Elyse: You gotta put blinders on and stay focused on where you're going, what direction you're heading into. Get rid of anything that makes you doubt or question yourself. 

Let's take a quick pause to hear from this week's episode sponsor. Lemme ask you something, you've built a successful business, but does your financial plan actually support your whole life beyond just your work? Hi, I'm Randall [00:12:00] Franklin with Franklin Wealth Management in Madisonville, Kentucky. I work with female entrepreneurs in business owners like you to create personalized strategies that support your entire life.

Not just your business. Women often face added pressure to balance family work and major financial decisions without clear guidance. Too often it feels like you're expected to choose between your career and your life. My approach starts by understanding your full picture, both financial and non-financial, so it's your plan actually works for you.

If you're ready to take a step back, see the big picture, and get clear on what matters most, let's start there. You can find the link to schedule a call with me in the show notes. And I would love to help you take that next step with confidence. Now back to our show.

Maggie: So I wanna dive into that a little bit more. And so I'm sure this book told you have all debt paid off, have three to six months in emergency fund. Don't do this if you can't pay for it in cash. But as a business owner, you know, you have to spend money to make money. Like it's always this teetering line, right?

Maggie: [00:13:00] And so how did you learn to trust your gut or trust yourself so well, because I think it's much easier said than done, and people might say, when you know, you know, but then you have that little voice that's like, do you know? Do you know? gosh

Elyse: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, totally. I I love that you asked this, Maggie. And it's funny because the, the core message of my brand, even though on the surface it's sales, the actual message is to trust yourself. Because that's. Been my life's work. And I think that there are so many things that happen over the course of our life that make us not trust ourselves, whether it's a parent when we're younger and we're in those really formative years from zero to seven, especially when we're really forming our identity and our self-concept.

Elyse: And a parent says something where that makes you question yourself and you're like, oh, well, maybe I shouldn't listen. Maybe I'm not right. Or someone, many women myself, including listening to this. Maybe experienced sexual assault or something where you disconnect from your body. Right? We learned it's [00:14:00] not safe to be in our bodies and we say the only safe place is in my head. 

Elyse: And I lived that way for a long time, a really really long time. And what I learned to do this was through the power of amazing female mentors. I had to learn how to reconnect with my body. And that's not something that we're taught in business school. It's certainly 

Elyse: not something that we're taught in corporate selling. So in the process of hiring amazing female mentors and learning how to reconnect with my knowing, my inner knowing, I finally learned how to listen to myself again. And so if you are a woman who says, I don't know how to trust myself, I don't know how to listen to myself, then what I would say is as uncomfortable as it may be. You've gotta sit down and start asking like, how do I really feel about this? What is my body really telling me at this point? And one of the simple tools, one of the simple things [00:15:00] that I learned to do that has really helped guide me in decision making is to be able to really tune into my body.

Elyse: And let's say you've got a choice of one of Two, it's either invest in yourself or not, or go on a trip to this conference or not. Close your eyes and imagine that you have both choices in front of you. You imagine taking the first choice, does your body expand or constrict with it? If it expands beautiful, that's where you're meant to go.

Elyse: If it constricts, if it tightens, that's a no for you. Then you do the same thing with the second choice. There's gonna be one where your body naturally expands and relaxes. We have so much body wisdom, Maggie, and again, I come from a long a history of women and even my mom who told me not too long ago in her life, like she never trusted herself. 

Elyse: I picked up on that. I stopped trusting myself. When you learn how to tap into your body wisdom, it will guide you in [00:16:00] business and life in all areas. It's so powerful. 

Maggie: so let's dive into then, you know, you hired this coach, you followed your intuition and hired this coach that, you know, you put the money on a credit card. Great. And you saw your income in six weeks. Skyrocket. 

Maggie: Give us some tips. Give us the secret sauce. You know, like what should we all be doing or what are some small changes we can make?

Maggie: To help the rest of the listeners get there 'cause I think some people think maybe for her or not for me, maybe she had a lot of low hanging fruit, but not for me. It sounds too good to be true. 

Elyse: It 100% does. And I recognize that when I say it. ' cause when it happened in my own life, I almost didn't believe it because I had been working so hard for over 10 years to try to make that very thing happen and then to have it happen in six weeks, I was like, wait, something is weird here.

Elyse: They like, it can't be this 

Maggie: It is almost frustrating that it like didn't happen sooner, 

Maggie: right? 

Elyse: I love this question, Maggie. I learned so many valuable things through this process. [00:17:00] So I'll say a couple things. Number one, the question that you asked. What did you do? That's what everyone wants to know. What do I do? Here's what I can say is a woman who went through that experience, it is not nearly as much about what I did as about. Who I started to believe myself to be 

Elyse: and what I realized, so when we're talking about money and sales and income, for so long I was a woman who was like a six figure ish earner, but I had bigger aspirations for my life. My husband, when we first got married, he was a night shift respiratory therapist 

Elyse: and he was, you know, doing that during COVID, but he had these dreams and these aspirations of going to medical school. We needed both of our incomes at the time, and he couldn't do that. I also really admired certain people in my industry who I saw speaking on the big stages you know, running [00:18:00] multimillion dollar companies, having really successful podcasts, and yet I would always make them different or special, and I would look at them and say, well, there's something unique about them.

Elyse: There's something different about them. Than me and they can do it because this, this, and this kind of everything you just shared, right? Like 

Elyse: when we hear these success stories and say, well, they've got something different. What I learned in the process, Maggie, was I actually had to humble myself. And I know that may sound strange, but our ego is the thing that tells us well. You're not as good as them. They've got something else, they've got some special sauce. You are different. You are unique. You are quote unquote special. Not in a positive way, but in a way of like, well, you can't do that, but they can. 

Elyse: And it was right around that time that a dear friend of mine, who was my podcast co-host at the time, he passed away in his sleep at age 39 and left 

Elyse: behind a wife and five kids. Yeah. 

Elyse: And I wasn't that much younger than him, and [00:19:00] I just remember thinking about. How many excuses I was making in my life, how I was making other people special and not me, and how I was telling myself so many stories about why I couldn't have what I wanted, why I couldn't go for it. So when I made that decision to just go all in and to start playing full out in my life, I had done what I what. Now call, putting my life on layaway previously where I had said, well, I'll do that someday, sometime when the timing's convenient. And I was like, no, I'm done. I'm done. You know, Greg just passed at 39. I don't know how much longer I have. I hope a lot longer, but I 

Elyse: wanna see who I am when I play full out in my life. One of the things that I learned in that process was that. For so long. I had looked at the results I wanted, but I hadn't felt worthy of them. I wanted to make seven figures. I wanted to sell at that level. I wanted to earn at that level, but I didn't feel like a match for it. It felt bigger than me, and so one of the first things I learned is your level of income will [00:20:00] never exceed your level of self-worth. And so if you have a revenue target for your firm or an income target for yourself, but it feels bigger than you, it feels like, ooh, aspirational, or someone else can do it, but not me. You're not a match for it yet.

Elyse: We always earn. Everyone has a financial set point. So you think what's governing how much money you're making is the funnel you're using, the script you're using, how many prospects you have? No. The first thing that's governing it is your self concept, your identity. Do you identify as a woman who naturally, normally, automatically makes a hundred thousand dollars a month, $200,000 a month, $500,000 a month, or do you identify as a woman who makes $5,000 a month, $10,000 a month? Nothing wrong with any of those numbers, by the way.

Elyse: I just wanna say, if you have an aspiration for yourself of more, but it feels bigger than you, you're not gonna do it. Or you'll 

Elyse: do it once and then you'll go back down because that financial set point. [00:21:00] It's just like a thermostat inside of you. 

Elyse: I was talking to a client yesterday who had had her best year ever last year, and then suddenly everything stopped I'm sure some of your listeners have had this experience.

Elyse: I've had an experience where I had like my best month and then suddenly my worst month. Why? It's the thermostat recalibrating to what feels normal to you. And so again, did I take different actions during that time? Yes, but only, only after I actually did the deeper identity work to, number one, realize that I'd been making money bigger than me.

Elyse: And it wasn't just like we said before, your energy, your essence, who you are, that's the actual gift. And one of the other things that I learned in there in that experience is that your results will never supersede your identity. And so I had to go deep and say, where am I? Not currently a match for what I want because in business and in life, we don't get what we want. We get what we are. 

Elyse: So [00:22:00] I started investing like a woman who was making seven figures. Even though I wasn't, I had heard someone say, you should invest five to 10% of what you want to make in personal coaching and mentoring, not what you are 

Elyse: making right now. That's how I justified the $50,000 investment

Elyse: 'cause I was like, well, if I'm making a million, I guess 50 grand. Makes sense. 

Elyse: Okay. And so I did it even though I, again, I didn't have the money, but I was like, I've gotta do this. I've gotta find a way to make it work. From that place, I put myself in the energy of mentors. I was actually working with a couple different people at the time, but mentors and coaches who were thinking and operating at a very different level from me who could help me.

Elyse: Number one, call me out on my own BS 

Elyse: number two. Help me make what once felt big, feel small, and help give me some different ideas in my business. But what I'll say is I launched one new thing during that time, which was a group program. I had massive limiting beliefs about whether a group of women would ever wanna work with me.

Elyse: I'd always done private coaching before that, and I didn't think a whole group of women would wanna work with me. [00:23:00] So it bumped up on the edges of everything I thought about myself, and I had to stretch that and expand that. But that one action did generate a quantum leap, 

Elyse: but it started with identity. It started with self-concept. And I do, I'm more than happy to share. We've got a free training on, I call it the four quadrants of quantum sales growth, where I break down like the entire process of what happened in that six weeks and how someone can use it to create their own

Elyse: quantum leap, whatever that looks like. So more than happy to share that link, 

Elyse: With your audience, if that's helpful. 

Maggie: For sure. 

Maggie: For sure. 

Maggie: I'll be there. 

Elyse: Okay. Yeah, that, so that goes deeper but it really is so much more about who you are being than what you're doing. 

Maggie: I love that. And I love that you just, sometimes we need to pay people to call us out on our BS 'cause we will convince ourselves out of it. And like if you told me a group of women wouldn't wanna go coach with you, I'd be like, Elyse, what are you talking about? Like, you're so welcoming. Of course there's a group of women like, go find 10 women who would wanna work with you.

Maggie: Like that's, I would think, yeah, that's no problem for her to do. And so it's [00:24:00] funny what we think to ourselves because even other people would be like, yeah, no doubt she would do that. You know what I mean? 

Elyse: it's so true. And we get stuck in our own narrative. We get stuck in our own heads and, and thank you for that. And truly, I, I was like, there's no way a group of women are gonna hire me. I had a lot of wounding in our 

Elyse: wounding around that, and now it's almost my whole business model. So it's funny, but I think that's, it goes to show, one of the things I truly believe is your desires are green lights.

Elyse: So 

Elyse: if you're listening to this. You have a desire to start a new revenue stream in your business or launch something new. Maybe pitch yourself for more media. But you've got that limiting belief about, well, who am I to do that? It's a lie. Limiting beliefs are 

Elyse: lies. They really, really are. And when you work through that and you get to the other side of it, you realize. That was your freedom. That was the gateway to everything that you wanted. But you've gotta learn to kind of come full circle. You've gotta learn how to trust yourself and listen and then take action based on your knowing. 

Maggie: Yeah. [00:25:00] Have you read that book, green Light by Matthew McConaughey? 

Elyse: I've read parts of it. I got it from my husband and I saw it. I was like, yeah, because I always, that was one of my signature phrases that I developed was like, your desires are green lights that I saw. He wrote the green light book, and I thought, this is perfect. 

Maggie: You've gotta, listen to it because he reads 

Maggie: it and then it's oof. Then it's a great book.

Elyse: For multiple reasons. Right. 

Maggie: For multiple reasons. Yeah, it's a great audible. And so I just wanna dive into a little bit that I feel like every woman feels all the time is overwhelm, 

Maggie: especially if you're a business owner. So how do we permanently drop this sense of overwhelm in business?

Maggie: We're juggling so much all the time. I mean, you just told me you have three kids, you have the dogs, you have the business, your husband's in medical school, which I know is. 

Maggie: All the time and no money. Like how do you drop the overwhelm?

Elyse: it's great. 

Maggie: my sister's a doctor, so like I've 

Maggie: seen it all and like, yeah, you're overworked and underpaid.

Maggie: I also watch the pit all the time, so. 

Elyse: I love that. [00:26:00] So I had a mentor say something to me probably over 10 years ago that really helped me and I'm so glad she said it to me at that point in my career. 'cause it helped me. Especially in this season. She said this to me before, I think before I had kids, before hubby was in med school, but my favorite word was overwhelm.

Elyse: I was always talking about I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so overwhelmed. I've got all this. I would get up at 2:00 AM not 'cause I wanted to, but 

Elyse: because I was like, I've gotta get up to get all this stuff done. And to try to like blast through the email inbox I always felt behind. I mean, burning the candle at both ends like you wouldn't imagine. And I had started working with a mentor who was like the first one to really teach me feminine energy. And again, at the beginning of of this, I was like, what is this? This just, this feels strange and weird and foreign. But one of the things she said, she was like, I am not available for overwhelm. She said, I'm just not. I just don't [00:27:00] do it. And she was running a business that was probably at least 10 times the size of mine, traveling the world with her husband. And in that moment I was like, oh, I never even thought of that as an option to just not experience it because I was experiencing it all the time. 

Elyse: But I said, well, if it works for her, maybe it'll work for me.

Elyse: And so I started playing with the idea of like, I just don't say the word. I just don't speak the word. I don't put that language on myself. 

Elyse: And you know what, Maggie? I stopped feeling it like I, it is amazing how our language determines our experience. I stopped feeling that sense. So first I replaced it.

Elyse: Then I don't say this anymore, but first I replaced it with I'm in demand. I actually taught my community. So it's funny. I was like, y'all, you are not gonna say the word overwhelm on our calls. You can say in demand. I'm feeling in demand today. So it became almost like this little code word in our community where a woman would hop on and her eyes would be wild and she'd be like, I'm [00:28:00] really feeling in demand today. Help me with it. And so we would work through it. But. To me, it's a state of being and I am not discounting at all that there are a lot of things we could be doing at any given moment. I'm really 

Elyse: not, and I know there's women out there with. More kids than me, more things going on than me. More like I get it.

Elyse: I totally get it. I'm not discounting any of that. What I'm saying is that two people can have the same set of circumstances and completely different experiences of them because of their perspective. So having adopted the mindset that I'm not available for overwhelm. The way I approach my days now, like they are, they are full.

Elyse: You know, they're full. I've got the two youngest kids at home. I run multimillion dollar business. I've got a team, we've got a magazine we launch. I've got a media company. We're building and running. I travel, I speak, I do the things. And it's really [00:29:00] important to me to be with my kids and to be present and to not feel guilt about that. And so there's a couple of things. I'd say the first thing is just deciding, I'm not gonna use 

Elyse: that word, and I'm not gonna label my experience as that ever. The second has been giving myself permission to really know what today is about. 

Maggie: Mm. 

Elyse: in any given moment, again, there could be, there's like 300 things we could be doing, right? And I used to be a woman who you and I would be talking right now, but I'd be thinking about all those other things. 

Elyse: Or I'd be on a sales call with a prospect and I wouldn't, I'd physically be there, but mentally I wouldn't be there. I'd be thinking about, okay, how am I gonna close them? What's happening next?

Elyse: What is this gonna mean for my commission check? Like all of it, it was happening in my mind. 

Elyse: I was never present. For me, learning meditation has been critical. So I get up early and I, I do it and that's important to me. My two year old's up at 5:00 AM so I gotta do it [00:30:00] before then. 

Maggie: So you're still up at two in the morning? 

Elyse: I'm up around three usually, and I also, this is important. I'm not sleep deprived. I go 

Elyse: to bed early. I go to bed by like eight, 

Elyse: so I'm not, I'm not telling women like, please take care of your body. I'm naturally an early bird. I always have been. Don't think you have to be if that's not how your body is wired. Some women are more. Night. You can do it 

Elyse: anytime. It doesn't matter.

Elyse: Honor your body. I'm just saying, when you learn these things and you prioritize yourself and you figure out how to weave them in into your life, I think about my days in flow now 

Elyse: where I think about, okay, I'm flowing from this to that. So this morning I was. Playing with the kids while they're ripping their clothes off that we just got on them and they're running around like crazy, like Little Warriors.

Elyse: And then I drove my son to school and it I was present with him. We were singing in canto songs while, while we were driving. And then listened to a beautiful book on the way back. And now I'm here with you. And then I know I've [00:31:00] got maybe an hour or so today of like my own time for my to work on my business outside of meetings. And so I'm gonna be really intentional about what I do there, and I'm gonna do only the things that really matter that today's about. And I'm gonna let the rest, the rest go. 

Elyse: and my business has grown in that energy. I say this in our community, your shoulds are shit. Tune in to what is on your list what you're thinking you need to do. Is it a heartfelt soul aligned? Yes. Is it in alignment with the version of you who's at the level you wanna be at? Does she do those things or is it a should? 

Elyse: If it's a should drop it. It's not gonna move the needle. It's an energy suck. Energy drink. Get rid of it, delegate it, delete it. I don't care. Let it go. 

Maggie: Yeah, 

Maggie: I love that it's awesome 'cause you're not like, I'm, I'm hustling to each 

Maggie: place. Like, no, 

Maggie: I'm flowing to each place, you know, which just makes you feel like, I don't know, to me, like I'm in an elegant ball

Maggie: gown, you know, I'm just like drifting across. But it's also, yeah, we always tell women, you know, stop shitting yourself.

Maggie: Like, [00:32:00] I should know how to do all these financial things. I should know how to make this business. I should know this. No, why should you? Like Why are we just expecting to come out of the womb and like know these items? You know, like that doesn't align. So I think these are all really great tips. One more question I wanted to ask, and I think we've touched on this a little bit, is kind of what's that surprising factor that skyrockets women's income faster than anything else? Is that just the internal belief? Not just, but is that the internal belief? 

Elyse: I love this. We talked about it and the short answer is yes. It's your identity, your self concept, and your capacity to receive. And I'll just, I'll add a little more onto what we said earlier, and even Maggie, with you using the word hustle. When I was stuck at the same level for 10 years and I was hustling, I was like, how fast and how hard and how long can I work? I was in pure masculine energy and 

Elyse: masculine feminine energy. It doesn't have to do with your gender. We all have both energies in us. [00:33:00] Masculine energy is action. It's doing, it's linear, it's structure, it's containment, it's make a hundred calls, talk to 10 prospects, close three of 'em. It's that 

Elyse: type of thing. We all, we get it. I came from a world where I was saturated in masculine energy. And that was how I thought I had to be to be successful. 

Elyse: When I learned how to lead with feminine energy and be like 70% in feminine, which is about vision, inspiration, flow, desire, letting the universe meet me halfway with what I want, like I'm gonna move the energy, I'm gonna take the actions, but I'm doing it in a state where. I feel like it's already done. And that happens with the visualization, the 

Elyse: meditation. I'm gonna allow for the quantum leap. I'm not gonna think linearly anymore. I'm, I'm gonna stop saying, well, what should my goal be? And I'm gonna start saying, what do I really want? What do I desire? What would I love? That's when money comes. And so from that [00:34:00] place, when we start leading with feminine and letting masculine support it, which is actually naturally how it's designed to be. Then we skyrocket when we open up our capacity to receive and we say, oh, where am I blocking receiving? Where am I saying no to help, no to support, no to opportunities. When in reality I really love them. That ups your financial thermostat. That

Elyse: ups your financial frequency. So it's all the inner game and the embodiment. The action is like three to 5% of it. It flows naturally from that, but it's all your self concept. 

Maggie: It makes you more excited. 'cause then I'm like, well, if it's just my self concept and it's only three to 5% of what I'm doing, I'm doing it in the inverse right now. So we gotta flip that, you know, which doesn't flip overnight, but recognizing that I think is so helpful. 

Elyse: absolutely. Absolutely.

Elyse: Again, I'll share 'cause I've had so many great mentors. I remember one woman once telling me like, at least let it be easy. That defied [00:35:00] everything in my conditioning. I was like, I can't be successful if it's not hard. She said, let it be easy. And so I said, okay. Again, I'll be humble.

Elyse: That's working for you. Let me try it. And sure enough, 

Elyse: it did. So if it feels hard, not that there's not seasons or periods where we get to grow or go through contrast, but if it generally feels hard. It's not about working more for you, it's about aligning first with what you want, letting it feel natural, easy, automatic, and then let it come in.

Elyse: Take the action to support it. 

Maggie: Yeah, definitely. I listen to a lot of like Abraham Hicks and it's a

Maggie: lot of like, why are you going uphill on the stream right now against the current? Like, why are you doing that? Like you could just go down with the current and end up 

Maggie: at the same spot, you know? So that's all I can think about.

Maggie: This has been so much fun. So we do have a question we ask everybody on our podcast and I can't wait to hear answer. So Elyse, what is your own definition of financial freedom?

Elyse: Oh, I love that question. I would say [00:36:00] it is the ability to do what I want, when I want, however I want it with whomever I want. That's it to me. And I think it's a feeling state of ease, relaxation, and support more than anything. 

Maggie: I love it. Well, thank you for coming on and sharing your expertise. I can't wait to get your workshop in the show notes so people can attend that and, and learn more about growing their business and, and changing that mental state so we can all just be in this flow, we all opened our businesses to have that freedom, right?

Maggie: And to get out of those golden handcuffs and to do things the way we wanna do them. I think we just need to lean into that more. Sometimes we forget that's the reason why we went into business. So thank you again for sharing your expertise and yeah, I can't wait to see what the listeners think of this.

Elyse: Thank you for having me. 

Maggie: course, we'll talk to you later. Bye.

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