Being Present for Those in Grief: Reflections on Comforting Words and What Not To Say [Grief Series 4]
I Thought I Was Over This
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I Thought I Was Over This
Being Present for Those in Grief: Reflections on Comforting Words and What Not To Say [Grief Series 4]
May 24, 2023 Episode 59
Dr. Kimber

On this episode of I Thought I Was Over This, I share personal experiences with grief and suffering, offering insights and tips on how to effectively communicate with those who are going through difficult times. From the importance of authentic conversation to the use of healing cards, we discuss various approaches to supporting those dealing with trauma or illness. Along the way, I offer anecdotes of what not to say, especially to a person or family experiencing the aggressiveness of cancer. Join us as we explore how to create space for those struggling with grief and trauma, and how to offer words of comfort that truly help instead of hinder.

Key Moments:

[00:03:26] Acknowledging and processing pain is necessary when dealing with grief, rather than ignoring or overriding it. Comments like "You're strong, you'll get through this" may not be helpful. Caring is more important than finding the right words to say.

[00:05:31] Unprocessed grief can lead to ignoring other people's pain, so it's important to know your own history with grief before trying to offer comfort.

[00:13:42] I share a story about a friend who died from cancer and read a post from her about accepting comfort during her illness.

[00:16:19] We ponder how to handle conversations regarding cancer with a focus on responding with authenticity and empathy toward the other person's pain, especially using Christian language. I advocate for asking how to help and offering support as a gift.

[00:24:01] Cards from friends bring hope, laughter, and encouragement; their heartfelt words were appreciated the most by Dr. Beth Fletcher Brokaw.

[00:28:16] Avoid offering silver linings or biblical scriptures out of context.

Resources mentioned: 

Check out past episodes and more information here: https://www.drkimber.net/podcast-info

Please remember that this podcast is not a replacement for treatment by a healthcare or mental health professional. This content is created for education and entertainment purposes only.

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Book: Still: Making A Whole When Parts Go Missing