169. Rewiring Unworthiness: How Hypnotherapy Changed It All For This Attorney with Lani Gonzales

What if the key to healing wasn't talking about your problems, but reprogramming the ninety percent of your mind you're not even aware of? 

JJ DiGeronimo sits down with Lani Gonzales, a former attorney-turned hypnotherapist who discovered that her high-achieving, Type A lifestyle was actually keeping her stuck.

Lani became a partner at a law firm at a remarkably young age, but beneath all of that ambition was a deep feeling of unworthiness rooted in childhood trauma. After years of traditional talk therapy, self-help books, and coping mechanisms, one single hypnotherapy session changed everything, including decades of recurring suicidal thoughts that simply disappeared after that one session.

In this powerful conversation, Lani breaks down how hypnotherapy works by accessing the subconscious mind, where over ninety percent of our patterns, beliefs, and behaviors actually live. She also shares how Ayahuasca retreats and other healing modalities became part of her journey toward purpose and freedom.
This episode is for every woman who knows what she should do but cannot seem to do it, for the overdoers, the high achievers, and the women ready to stop coping and start truly transforming.

Tune in to discover why confidence comes after courage, how your money beliefs and relationship patterns are more connected than you think, and what it really means to wield feminine power without burning out.

Lani's Social Links
Website: https://lanigonzales.com/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/gonzaleslani
IG: https://www.instagram.com/lanigonzales.unlimited
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lanigonzalesunlimited/
YT: https://www.youtube.com/@lanigonzales.unlimited
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lanigonzalesunlimited

 @lanigonzales.unlimited  

Lani Gonzales is a clinical hypnotherapist, former attorney, author, and subconscious performance expert who helps women and high-achievers release limiting beliefs, heal trauma, and step into aligned, empowered lives. After becoming a law firm partner at a young age and spending over a decade in high-performance environments, Lani experienced firsthand the cost of success built on pressure and survival — ultimately choosing to leave the legal world to devote her life to healing, transformation, and human potential.

Blending neuroscience, nervous system regulation, subconscious work, and spiritual wisdom, Lani bridges science and soul to help people reconnect with their intuition, restore inner safety, and create lives rooted in clarity, vitality, and purpose.

JJ DiGeronimo is an award-winning author, speaker, and podcast host dedicated to helping women trust their inner wisdom, illuminate their gifts, and align with meaningful work. As the host of the Together We Seek Podcast, JJ creates sacred spaces to explore light, energy practices, and ancient wisdom with healers, mystics, and spiritual teachers. Through authentic conversations, she encourages listeners to embrace their unique gifts, deepen their self-trust, and remember the wisdom they already carry.

JJ is the author of four books, including her latest release, Illuminate Your Path: 6 Phases of Spiritual Awakening. Find Your Phase at: https://quiz.jjdigeronimo.com/

Books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/JJ-DiGeronimo/author/B01INZ5GA2 

Website:  https://jjdigeronimo.com         
Together We Seek Community: https://www.togetherweseek.online/                                                               

Transcript

Rewiring Unworthiness: How Hypnotherapy Changed It All For This Attorney with Lani Gonzales

Hello. Hello. JJ DeGeronimo here. Thank you for joining Together We Seek podcast. As you know, I love to bring guests to you that are working from the inside out.

And Lani Gonzales is here with me today, and she was an attorney. She became a partner at a very young age, and she realized it wasn't quite working for her. And so I can't wait to learn how hypnosis and hypnotherapy became part of her journey. So, Lani, thank you so much for joining us. Oh, thank you so much for having me.

I'm excited to be here. So before we jump into your journey and how you've become really a catalyst and portal for so many to heal, especially women that are…in high demanding jobs and are overdoers, type a plus plus plus. Yes. You know, tell us a little bit about what is, uh, hypnotherapy. Yeah.

So hypnotherapy is a way to access your subconscious mind. So when you go to traditional counseling or talk therapy, you're talking about the stuff you know about in your logical mind. That makes up about ten percent of the stuff in your mind. Over ninety percent of what happens is subconscious programming. The best way to explain this is imagine you're on your computer, and maybe you have a browser open.

Maybe you have, like, a Word document open, and you see these two windows. But that's not just what's going on in your computer. There's a lot of systems going on in the background even though you only see these two windows. So what I do as a hypnotherapist is I go into that background because that's what's actually informing your decisions and your beliefs about yourself. Um

, many times, we think that we are these rational, logical human beings. The majority of what we do is irrational. And in fact, what it is instead is patterned. We are patterned human beings who constantly repeat patterns that normally started or developed between the ages of zero and seven years old. And we take those patterns and repeat it over and over and over again.

And that's why you know you should do better, but you don't because knowing is not enough. There's a subconscious pattern and program, and that is what hypnotherapy is designed to address…

So I definitely wanna talk about how this crossed your path because this is not a usual leaping pad for an attorney to get into this type of therapy and really do this inner work, which obviously is so exciting for me as a woman in technology. I'm very familiar with, all the background things that are happening. And I even used to make motherboards for computers, so I love this conversation and the correlation you're making. Yeah. But, um, do people work with you only in person, or do they work online too?

So I'm available worldwide to everybody. So as long as you have a comfortable, safe space a lot of people like to do sessions from their bedroom, in their bed. As long as you are a company and cozy and have a private space, we can work together. So how did this find you?

What was the big crossroads? Yeah. So it first found me as a seeker before a practitioner, and I've had quite a journey on my own. And, yes, I became a lawyer at twenty three years old, but beneath all of that ambition was this feeling of unworthiness stemming from a lot of abuse, rape, and trauma before was even the age of four. So, um

, I did a lot of counseling. I started going to counseling when I was eighteen years old in college when there were programs that offered free counseling to students, and I had been on that journey ever since. I did self help books. I did all the things that women do to try to make their lives better, the affirmations, um, the meditations. You name it.

I tried it. And I learned how to cope with my pain, but I never actually learned how to put it down. I just learned coping mechanisms to soothe and how to carry it as I move through life. And I learned about hypnotherapy myself, and I had one hypnotherapy session. And it changed my life dramatically.

And before that hypnotherapy session, I struggled with suicidal thoughts and ideation…every single month from about the age of twelve years old after witnessing my grandfather decide to end his life at my birthday. And that was always a pattern that I had. And going to counseling, I learned to cope. You don't wanna die. You're just in pain.

You learn how to look at it and do your inner child work. And I did that every single month, and I move forward in life. But after one single hypnotherapy session, those suicidal thoughts were completely gone, and I've never been so low and so sad. And it just completely changed the way I saw my life. And I realized by looking at the deeper layers of our subconscious mind, not only can we put the pain down, we can make these internal shifts that help us be more successful and abundant in our lives right now.

So…

eventually, I realized that my, um, my work as an attorney wasn't as

fulfilling as I wanted it to be. It served its purpose. Um, I believe that being a lawyer was the ability to speak for other people. I developed my voice in order to be the champion for other people, and I realized I can do one better. Instead of me speaking for you, I can teach you how to speak for you.

Um, and it got to a point where sometimes you have to leap, and I'm sure you can relate to this as a woman who is in a job where you make six figures and you make seven figures and you do it so easily. And then to jump into the unknown, into a space where you are called to work with people and called to serve, but then that fear of, you know, being financially insecure in an unknown arena. But when you really leap into it and tap into your powers, your identity shifts doing subconscious work, you're able to live a life that's not just abundant but fulfilling as well. So it was a long journey there, and, truthfully, part of it was psychedelics.

doing Ayahuasca really showed me what I needed to change in my life and that I was living from a place of unworthiness. So I wrote a book about Ayahuasca. I facilitate Ayahuasca retreats for my clients privately, because it was such a big part of my journey. So I'm gonna say it's not one single modality. It's many things that culminated through the years that really brought me to this new place of where I am now.

Well, I just wanna celebrate you because I just feel like, wow. Wow. Like, my in that short description, my heart was breaking, and then I was smiling. And seeing you, uh, on the YouTube, it's just you're you're so beautiful. You're so illuminated.

And I feel like the work you've done is not easy. Yeah. It's not…easy. There is a saying. The path to heaven feels like hell, and the path to hell feels like heaven.

In that, if we take the easiest path and the path of least resistance, guess what that is? That is old programming. That's things that we inherit culturally, things we inherit from our parents. That's easy to continue to repeat the same cycles and to really evolve. Transformation is not intellectual.

And I see a lot of women in the wellness and healing space and the spiritual pace places talking about healing and development and growth. That's very intellectual, but to transform, it's behavioral. And that is one of the most difficult things is to look at yourself and to be able to…

transform your own behaviors, your patterns, beliefs, because the subconscious mind is not designed to keep you happy, and its priority is not growth. It is survival. So anything different from what you've learned that's gotten you to this point feels threatening, feels scary. So when we talk about shifting into these different ways of being, it doesn't feel good. Um, there's a difference between confidence and courage, and many people wanna be confident before they take the leap and quit their job, confident before they leave the relationship and make whatever shift they need.

That doesn't work that way. Confidence happens later. After you've done the thing and you see the results, that's what builds confidence. But before confidence, you have courage, and courage is being able to move even if things feel unclear and terrifying. Confidence feels good.

Courage, it feels terrible when you're doing it, and it's the ability to move from a place of courage before you feel that confidence…

So powerful. So much wisdom. You are a master communicator. I'm sure that's in your birth chart where you have communication shrines. I just can feel it.

You're just…you do such a good job of boiling down the things that are difficult sometimes to explain why you do the inner work. And…I share so many of the practitioners I work with because I feel like society in a lot of ways almost shuns it of working with people that have discovered their light. And for me, that has been the answer. All the layers you have to work through. And it's not…I say work because, really, it's about getting to know yourself, really enjoying why you're here, the gifts that you brought.

And I think that if there are tools like hypnotherapy that can help you cut through some of the junk Mhmm. Uh, that gives you more inner freedom and inner peace, I mean, doesn't everybody want that? Absolutely. So looking for modalities that help us heal mentally, spiritually, emotionally…

is like shoes. You're gonna try on a bunch of shoes before you buy shoes. Some of them are gonna fit. Some of them won't. Some of them may not look good on you, and it's about trying on the one that works best for you.

And you know what? You might buy shoes now, but then five years down the road, you may not like those shoes. Maybe you want a different type of shoe or maybe your taste have simply changed, and that's true when it comes to your evolution. You're gonna find all of these people, all these teachers, mentors, and guides, and they'll lead you to a certain point. The guide that you find, they can only take you as far as they have brought themselves.

So looking at their background, their experience, and taking them there. And I'm a believer that the sign of a good teacher is that your students can go further than you can. So, yeah, it is an evolutionary process. The person or the counselor who helped you through the first chapters of your life may not be the ones who help you through the next ones. It wasn't that they didn't work.

It's that we needed a different type of teacher, a different type of modality. So, um

, as a person who struggled with suicidal ideations since adolescence for decades, and now I wake up with joy and purpose, I can say, I know it is possible to radically shift your life. And if one modality doesn't work, continue to try on other shoes…

I wanna follow you out of the room. I mean, I just can feel the vibration that you're radiating. And I think it's such a beautiful thing…to be at a point where you can talk about your teachers and talk about how each teacher has unlocked the door or lifted a layer or helped you go around the back door. And I have worked with hundreds of practitioners too, and I am so grateful for each and every one of them. And even Corby, one of my practitioners says, you know, you can only take people as far as you go.

And I think that's the beauty of why you should be working with different practitioners in different aspects. And it's an investment, of course, but it's an investment…in you, which I also think we're taught not to do. So not only are we taught not to work with practitioners, we're taught not to invest in ourselves, especially as women. So what truth, you know, did you have to learn about yourself or did you have to let go of before you became before you moved from being a student into a guide or a teacher? Oh, I think at all points in times, we are always still students, so I'm very much still a student.

And I think that we are all teachers in some capacity to someone. Um

, I think Ram Dass said it. We are all walking each other home. So I have always been a student, will always be a student. Um, and now I'm honored to recognize that I am a teacher for other people. And the reality of it is this.

Teachers are not perfect people. They're not perfectly healed. They don't know everything. There's a lot of things I don't know. And there are many things that I'm working through as I evolve in my journey.

And what a teacher really is is someone who, number one, knows how to hold space. Number two, in the context of what we do in our work, what I simply say is I know how to let something greater than myself work through me. I'm just a channel for something greater than myself. Have we developed that capacity to serve people in that way, um, and to be from a place of service? A lot of times, what I've seen with practitioners as well is, well, they wanna heal the world.

They wanna heal everyone, but, truly, they want to heal themselves. But they haven't found that worthiness to apply those own tools from themselves, and it's much easier to help and heal others than to heal themselves. So the ability to recognize that I am a clear channel, what I'm doing is not giving you my energy and my wisdom. It is letting something bigger work through me. And at the same time, recognizing that I'm just here to help you unleash your power and your truth, and that's where being an attorney was really helpful.

In law school, you don't actually get taught stuff. You get taught how to think, and they call it the Socratic method. And that comes from Socrates. And what Socrates did is he didn't just spit out wisdom for you. He asked the appropriate question so that wisdom came directly out of your mouth because it means more coming out of your mouth within your words than mine.

So the ability to cultivate all of these skills has really helped me to become a teacher to many people. And as I've grown and as I've evolved, what I'm able to teach evolves as well…

Wow. So well said and…so engaging. I'm like, yes. Tell me more. And I think it's great because I have a lot of listeners that have hired some of the practitioners here in the program

They've gone to some of the retreats, and I think they've even worked together as different practitioners. And I really love the beauty of recognizing that we're all on this journey together, and each of the steps is just another, you know, step to unravel, to unwrap, and really lean into. And I feel like you have to have…a lot of trust. So how did you work through your money issues and your trust issues to leap…from the corporate world into the work that you're doing today? Yeah.

So money issues and trust issues, though those go hand in hand, and I will say this. I tell this to my clients all the time. How you relate to one thing is how you relate to all things. So whether you come to me and say, hey. I have a money issue, a relationship issue, a food issue, but I have all these other issues in my life that I wanna work on, and I say, listen.

They're all connected. How you relate to one is how you relate to all. How you relate to money is how you relate to love, is how you relate to trust in your purpose and your calling. So it's one in the same. And one of my root beliefs and core beliefs that I had in life was I'm alone in the world.

Um

, I've dealt with a lot of really difficult things in my childhood alone. And going into this new venture, if I kept this limiting belief of I'm alone in this, of course, it's challenging. Of course, it's terrifying. But when I realized going subconsciously doing my own inner work, because I eat my own dog food and I love to do subconscious work, um, and recognizing when I'm told by my inner knowing that it's time to take one more leap, all they're asking of me in this life is one more big leap. At first, I went, uh-uh.

No. I've leaped enough in life. Like, I worked three jobs in college and became a lawyer at twenty three. Now you want me to leap again? And they're like, one more big leap.

But then I realized when I left, it wasn't just me leaping into the abyss. I saw to my left the younger versions of me who were looking at me with so much pride for who I'd become and to my right, the woman that I would become who would be so grateful for my bravery in that time. And I looked behind me, and I recognized every version that I was in my past lives has brought me to this moment to jump. And even all of my ancestors, when I think of my mother who was an immigrant to the United States, who made sacrifices so I could reach higher than she could, and my grandmother who lived in poverty for her life, who didn't even have the option to reach for her purpose and calling. And I realized this jump isn't just about me.

It is about every woman who has come before me, who could not reach, and now I get to be in that place to reach not just for me, but for all of them. So when I heard one more big jump, I recognized I am not in this alone. Every single part of me has been called to this moment to jump. Um

, and that's part of the story that I tell myself. We are also storied individuals, not just program. Those programs, we like stories. That's why we we have books. That's why we have movies, even songs.

A good song kind of tells story for you. Um, religion is based on stories and mythologies. So, really, the past and all the stuff we tell ourselves…

that's irrelevant. It's what story do we tell ourselves now. And I decided to tell myself a new story of I am supported. I'm not alone. And then I looked at my past life where I said, okay.

This is what I built from a lack of worthiness. I built that life because I felt so bad about myself. I wanna look good on paper. Imagine how abundant you will be if you build from a place of love…

Of course, it'll bring you to something that is greater than and what I was told is more than your heart can fathom. So being able to trust that inner guidance system is what really helped me leap…

It feels like such truth to me, Lonnie, what you're saying. Like, I can feel it in my heart chakra. I can feel it in my throat chakra. I can feel it up in my head. So I just really appreciate you sharing this with us.

So as we're closing out here, all of your links are below. So anyone who wants to visit Lonnie's website, the link's below, Instagram, YouTube. Tell us what you're working on and how people can work with you. Oh, what I'm working on now is a program of women power and mastery. And this is not for the women who are like, what's shadow work or inner child work?

This is for the woman who's really ready to step into her purpose and her power. I think it's beautiful that we do all of this work and we can, you know, tap into our power. Now I teach you how to wield it into building something masterful and honoring your purpose and calling. So, um, I work with women privately in order to do that. Um

, I am also doing a retreat in January twenty twenty seven in Morocco where we women come together to work on that together. Mastery. True mastery. And what I mean by mastery is tapping into your unique gift and your power that you and only you can deliver in this world and really leveraging that for your greater good and the greater good of everyone else here. so that is two different ways that people can work with me now.

Um, I am also working on my third book about women, power, and mastery…because women are not taught how to wield power. We are taught how to mimic masculine power. We're not taught the shapes and architecture of our own. So my book dives into what that really is and how women can access that and not burn out…

You are speaking my language. I love all of this. I'm definitely gonna check out your retreat, and I would love for you to come into the community together we seek and share some of the insights from your book. We have so many women that have been working with their gifts, their lessons, and, uh, they've been illuminating the path for many. And I really think taking some of these women to the next level or just giving them some tips on how to really lean more into their mastery could be so powerful.

And for anyone listening, I hope you reach out to Lani. All of her links are below. Get on our mailing list and see what she's up to because couldn't we all just use a little bit more of this energy? Thank you so much. It really is fabulous.

I'm so honored that you joined me here, and I look forward to staying in touch and really keeping abreast of the work that you're doing because I feel like for the collective, it is really instrumental in balancing the feminine and masculine energy. Thank you so much. Well, great. For everyone listening, thank you so much for joining us for another week, and we will see you again here next time. Thank you, Lani.

Thank you