Dismantling the Manosphere: From Prison To Men's Wellbeing Guru with Troy Alexander

The most dangerous part of the manosphere isn’t just the rage bait, it’s how easily it replaces real guidance for men who are hurting. Cynthia sits down with Troy Alexander for a wide-ranging, unfiltered conversation about men’s mental health, emotional wellness, and the ego-driven culture that keeps too many guys performing instead of healing.

We talk about why “Inside the Manosphere” hit a nerve, why men often listen to men before they listen to women, and how the idea of “fatherless fathers” shows up everywhere even in households where a dad technically “provided.” Troy shares the truth he learned in prison: the same pain exists outside the walls, just dressed up. He walks us through his own turning point, the daily journaling and mindset work that helped him rebuild, and why trauma sits underneath so much addiction, violence, and self-sabotage.

Then we bridge the inner work to something surprisingly concrete: men’s skincare. Troy explains how his background as a fashion journalist and consultant revealed a massive gap in men’s grooming education, and why he founded T363 Skin, named after the last three digits of his prison number. We also get into skepticism about symptom-first mental health approaches, the impact of social media pressure on young men, and what Troy is building next, from speaking in prisons to an AI-powered app.

If you care about healing masculinity, men’s self-improvement, trauma recovery, and men’s skincare routines that actually support confidence, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review. What part of this conversation challenged you most?

Discover more about Troy at: https://thetroyalexander.com/ and his skincare line for men at: https://t363skin.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Well, hello, hello, hello, and welcome to Salt Tech with Cynthia. I'm so glad you guys have joined me today. I am super jacked because I have a very special guest with an incredible story all around. Troy Alexander has joined us today to talk about men's mental and emotional wellness and skincare and prison and all sorts of interesting things. Hi, Troy. It's so nice to see you.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Hello, Cynthia. So nice to see you as well. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

I'm fantastic. I'm so excited that it's warming up outside. You know.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

It's a beautiful, glorious day in Miami. It is definitely warm and beautiful.

Inside The Manosphere Spotlight

SPEAKER_01 1:26

For our listeners, both of us, me and Troy, are both uh based down in Florida. So if you're envious, you can come hang out. Right. So I gotta start things off strong because I did a post recently about this topic of um Netflix's Inside the Manosphere documentary, which I'm sure you've heard about. And um uh, you know, I'm glad I I'm glad that they did the documentary. I am a little frustrated as a woman because I've been talking about red pill content being toxic for younger generations for a really long time. And of course, it takes a man doing a documentary for men to, and I get it, men, men are submissive to other men, it's the truth. And uh, and so um it it his documentary has caused a lot of conversation around toxic content, but I think it's really thrown a spotlight on men's mental and emotional uh well-being and kind of where we're at and where we need to be. What are your as somebody who really leads this conversation for men? Um, what are your thoughts on that? And then I want to get into how you got to that place in the first place. So, what are your thoughts on the documentary and what it's highlighting?

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Well, you know, I think look, every man that's out here trying to help other men, I think that's a huge start. You know, the documentary, did I agree with everything in it? No, I didn't, but I welcomed it because it's a conversation start that needs to start happening. I think from my experiences, we learn more about me, I think men are struggling altogether. I don't care if you're white, black, Asian, whatever, you are struggling. And I think a lot of men lead with ego, and I think a lot of men don't truly understand who they are. And that doesn't matter about your social economic level. Men do not understand who they are. And so to have this documentary start having a conversation, that's a huge start.

Fatherless Fathers And Accountability

SPEAKER_01 3:17

I agree, I agree. While frustrating that it takes uh a man, that's kind of like sort of where we're at. And frankly, I think it actually highlights the fact that it took a man, it actually highlights one of the problems that men have to begin with, which is the inability to hear, hear women and the issues that affect women, which has kind of led us to this place in many ways where the birth rate and the marriage rate has dropped. Because I mean, you tell me if I'm wrong about this, but it's my belief that um women have been trying to get men to evolve emotionally and mentally for a long time while they were themselves evolving. And at some point they just got frustrated with the lack of evolution there. And I think that that's I think that comes from fear of change and giving up that power seat, which isn't really giving it up, it's actually owning it in many ways. Uh, being a real king, a real king uh can share the stage and is fearless about it, but also um uh being willing to change as a human being, which is one of the most uh the scariest things that we can do. Uh, do you agree with that?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I do. I I think also when you we we can take it a step further in what I believe, I think there are a lot of fatherless fathers out there in the world. Um a man truly, again, going back to the documentary and why men were able to understand or digest that because another man spoke to him. A man needs a man to communicate in ways that a woman can't communicate and help him uh uh uh achieve or uh go wherever he wants to go. And so I think, in my opinion, a lot of men today who may be in their 60s, who may be in their 80s, who may be in their 20s, are truly struggling because they were fatherless. And even though their father may have been there to provide and do certain things, a man still needs that nurturing through the stages of his life to be able to become what he needs to become. And women as a whole are the greatest creatures on this planet, and women nurture and bring us into this world. So you guys are the queens of this world, but uh, you need both of us to be able to help a man function to be better.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

That's interesting, you know. I uh um yeah, you know, I think the women I I I something that I think is interesting is that single mothers get a lot of flack and are blamed, especially by rip red pill content. Like I had an interview with a guy, we ended up screaming at each other. So I was like, he was quoting quotes that aren't actually quotes. He was just pulling stuff out of his backside, and I was like, you know, that isn't even actually true. That's not a fact. You just invented that because it justifies the crap you're trying to sell. But um, you know, he was like, Oh, it's the fact, it's the fault of all these single mothers, they're the ones that have raised all these wimpy boys who who can't grow or evolve. And it was like, when are men gonna take responsibility for the fact that we need men need to be present in their children's lives and bringing them a paycheck isn't enough? Yeah, and to blame you blaming the people who actually got left holding the bag uh in many ways, and you know, it uh it's just interesting. Um I we'll keep going on this topic, but I do want our listeners to hear your fascinating you guys. His you have to go visit his website, which is it's t363.com. T363 skin.com. Okay, okay, t363 skin.com. Uh I remember when I first went to it, I was like, oh, this is gonna be interesting. So so Troy has a very colorful background like me. Uh please, please, please, I won't give anything away. Please, please tell how you you went from, you know, prison to owning a skincare brand that helps men evolve.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

Yes, so I got in a fight when I was young, and the fight changed the whole trajectory of my life. Um, I was a young, dumb, immature kid, I would say, full of ego, yearning for my father's attention. And my father was a big official in the government, and he was never home. And when he was home, it wasn't always kind. Um, my father's now passed on, but we made amends before he passed on. But I think me lashing out was my way of getting his attention, and it kind of backfired because I got in a fight, went to prison for two years, and he didn't speak to me for two years. And then when I came home, I was a different person and he didn't understand who I was because they all remembered me as going in one way and then I came out another way. And I learned and saw firsthand the pain and the trauma of men. My cellmate told me something that was very profound. He said, Young blood, if you study the men in here, they're meaning in here, meaning prison, they're the same men out there, just dressed up. So every day you're walking around murderers, rapers, killers, every day, they're just dressed up and you don't know who they are. And so I began to see the pain and the trauma and the hurt of white men, black men, Asian men, Indian men, all types of men in the penal system struggling, crying at night, in the day being tough, at night crying. So it was a repeat over and over and over again. And I began to really understand like so. Today, when I'm out in the world, I can read men very quickly. I can see the pain and hurt because they're the same men I saw in there. So I'm not I'm not immune to the level of their success and all of these things, they're just a regular man. And I used to always say to some of my girlfriends, if you strip a man down, take away his fucking family, his house, his clothes, his cars, his degree, and put him in a dark room by himself, he's a scared little fucking girl. And that is what most men are. And so I began to see the pain and the trauma, and I got out of prison, went back to college because I was very privileged and fortunate. I had I came back home to a two-parent household. I was on indefinite probation, and so I worked my way out of that situation, you know, indefinite probation, meaning I couldn't leave the state, I couldn't do anything, and I worked my way out of that situation, and I kept dreaming. When I was in prison, I journaled every day. I still journal every day. I journal journaled my wildest dreams, my wildest ideas in what I wanted to become. And I started to shape my world and shape my mind. And I prayed and I meditated, and I've always wanted to build my own company and build my own business. And the first thing that people see, the focal point, is your skin. And I wanted to help men look and feel better.

Trauma Behind Addiction And Crime

SPEAKER_01 10:22

I love that. I love that. I talk about turning things around. Um, I think it's very hard for people who haven't spent time in jail or prison to really understand. Uh, I used to be very it's it's kind of funny giving that I at 13 I was in Memphis uh juvenile correctional facility, which for the record is a prison. Yeah, yeah, it's a prison. I love how we call it something that sounds really good, but it has guards, you get strip searched, no matter how old you are. And I mean strip searched, and uh they throw you in a real cell that slams automatically from a booth way down the way. Yeah, I know. I mean, I I it it amazes me that people are like, but it's just juvenile detention. It's like it's a fucking prison. Yeah. For children in the vast majority. Now I was in there with people who'd murdered their parents and done all sorts of things, but I I spending time around kids in in that situation, I really I did begin to understand, and then I hardened myself. So I began to understand that it's trauma, and most people who are in prison or jail are just it's it's trauma uh that leads to most people ending uh up behind bars. Um, but uh later on I got really hard about it because I was trying to blend in with the world, and uh I was very hard on my sister, uh, who was a prostitute and drug addict. And then of course eventually I found out that she was a victim of human trafficking. And the that finding that out, especially finding it out later in life in my 40s after giving her a really hard time uh with my judgments. And I mean, I didn't mean wrong, I wasn't ugly to her, but I in my mind I was like, whatever, you're just gonna go off on one of your toots. Like I had no tolerance, and now I understand so much better, especially going looking at my own trauma and my own bad decisions. And it's like she never had a chance. It started when she was really young, and and the drugs were a way to escape, which is what you hear someone like a Gabor. Have you read Gabor Gabor Mate?

SPEAKER_00 12:11

I have not.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Uh, I'm gonna highly recommend that you check him out. Um, he must be in his set late 70s or 80s now. He's done a lot of work in communities, particularly in Canada, uh, where people grow up dealing with a lot of trauma or having a traumatic situation, such as getting into a fight that leads to something so serious. And he talks a lot about most drug addiction has nothing to do with the drugs. The drugs are a way to deal with the inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and it's it's really interesting. What are your uh what are your thoughts on that in terms of you know what what you saw? Uh what was it obvious that trauma led most of the people that you saw in prison to where they were?

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, I saw, listen, I was dealing with a lot of trauma too in so many ways. You know, my mother had me when she was young, and then as I call him, my sperm donor, and he didn't want anything to do with me. And so I struggled with that again. It goes back to what I said before, fatherless fathers. And so she was very fortunate and blessed to have met a wonderful human being who was in the military and you know rose through the ranks, and I was privileged to have a stepfather who became my father, but my trauma started because a man didn't want me, and so I always fought that, right? Like, why doesn't this man want me? And I think that was my rage and my rebelliousness, right? And then, you know, growing up when I was younger, because my mom was a single mother for a while, you know, she would always say when I would get in fights, she was like, You go back out there and fight. I'm not raising no punk, you know, and so my mom said all those words, and so that that that anger and that rage and that trauma was instilled in me at a very early age, right? And so hence why I end up going to prison when I sit back and think about it, you know, being born in Beauford, South Carolina on a dirt road that I went back recently, it's still a dirt road.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

And it's still a South Carolina, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

It's still a dirt road, and you know, being born in a trailer and all of that, you know, and your environment really helps you, or I shouldn't even say help, but your environment makes you go through these things that will happen in your life if you don't have the resources around you. And so, in a sense, I was destined to go that way, even though I had a bridge that blocked me, but the rage had already started.

Ego Culture And Online Pressure

SPEAKER_01 15:11

That's so interesting. Trailer parks, if you guys have never lived in one or next to one, are some of the most adventurous. I'm and I'm using that word. Some of the strangest experiences that I have ever had in my entire life involved trailer parks. And I'm from Tennessee, which uh I'm I'm originally from Tennessee, so we grew up in the same part of the country. Yeah. Uh yeah, if you didn't have resources and you came from a poor family, you know, a lot of people find this hard to believe now, although it still goes on, it's still rampant across the United States, but you really do get a lot more attacks and a lot more judgment and a lot more punishment than uh someone who has resources or parents that are, you know, of a certain level, uh like a certain type of kid may have not even gone to prison. Um, to go back to the the Louis Thoreau documentary, um, you know, that topic just in general of men's mental and emotional wellness. I've been bitching about this for a while now, um, because I I was growing, I have a 19-year-old son and I was growing increasingly concerned that he was, you know, going to be spending time around men who talk about women as though they're property. That's what all these red pill people do. And the and then at the end of the day, the funny part about all of this is that those men are um, I think men as a rule don't realize it, but they kowtoe and kneel to other men. They're they care more about what other men think than they do about anything else. And so when you see these red pill guys talking about what a stud they are, what a type A uh personality they are, and I'm like, yeah, but everything that comes out of your mouth is because you want some other guy to be impressed with you. Yeah. Um what do you where do you see us like do you see a huge movement within men? Like I can't see it because I don't, you know, I I don't talk to that many straight men, um, or just that many men in general, uh uh because you could be a father no matter what your your persuasion is. Do you see a change? Do you see a shift? Or is there, I mean, you have you lead this conversation. Are you seeing more people do it?

Beyond Pills Spiritual Self Mastery

SPEAKER_00 17:18

I don't see a change or a shift at all. You know, I think I think, and I'm being very honest, you know, I think men are still egotistical. Men don't know how to communicate with each other. You know, we have a mutual friend. He and I, as many years as we've known each other, we're now bringing bridging that gap to be able to have a little bit more deeper conversations. I have a lot of friends of mine who are older than I, and we're just starting to bridge and break those barriers to have deeper conversations. Um I think a lot of men try to possess women, you know, against you know, that ownership. And I think a lot of men are afraid to truly let their women fly. Um, because if their women fly, their women may eclipse their wings because it goes back to ego again. And so I think there's a there's a a disconnect with men and women, and there are a lot of men that want to peacock for other men because again, it goes back to what I said before, fatherless fathers. So some of these men that are peacocking for other men are looking up to these men as father figures, rather older, younger, and they're trying to make it, they're trying to heal whatever wound they may have in themselves. And so I look at myself, I am prison helped me do the work. I listen to Jim Rome, Bob Proctor, Earl Nightingale. I'm a ferocious reader, and I've learned how to change my life within the confines of my brain. And with all due respect, I don't believe in mental health because I've gone through prison. It's a matter of you gotta learn how to sit with yourself to accomplish anything that you want. And so to land this plane, no one is talking to me about the topics that you're talking to. I have to figure it out myself. And that's the problem today.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Yeah, no, I agree with that. You know, I actually think the mental health, which um I believe mental health is is a is a symptom of spiritual uh unhealthiness. And so the the tools that keep getting offered to deal with mental health are just addressing the symptoms that's the pills. Yeah, I'm very I'm very anti-Western medicine.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Me too. I'm very anti that too.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Yeah, I believe most people are taking prescriptions that they shouldn't be um agreed. And it's just causing a lot. And I think I believe that that, I mean, when you look at it, it's actually kind of interesting. I saw somebody talking about this the other day. When you look at the charts of the increase in prescription medication, particularly here in America, where we shock the rest of the world with the number of medications that most Americans are on. Um prescription, uh, particularly SSRIs. Um, when you follow the chart from when those started to be prescribed, along with the meant the rise in the mental health issues that people have, uh, they've done nothing to help. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure they're, you know, it's kind of like obesity and our toxic food that's sold in grocery stores. It's kind of interesting. It's like they're making more problems so they make more money. Uh, I believe it's a spirit, spiritual health issue. And when you learn what consciousness is and how to command your own consciousness and understand that perception is everything, and you get to die, you get to choose that. And that and and I struggle with that on occasion too. There's moments when I'll get triggered and I'm like off on a tank. I start bitching and moaning and forget to be grateful. But the vast majority of my lived experience um is beautiful because of that. That those tools I would really love to see men embrace higher consciousness and the tools that allow them to choose the frequency and vibration of their lived experience.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

I think a lot of ego, a lot of ego with us. That's the problem, sit there. In my opinion, it's ego, you know, who has the best car, who has the hottest girl, who has it's all ego, and what's happening is it's spilling down to the younger generation. And this device with Instagram and TikTok and all these things, it is moving so fast that uh men are men feel that they're getting left behind, and they they they feel that they have to do whatever it takes to achieve the greatest success that all these other men have done. And that's our problem. And then what a lot of people don't realize is that truthfully, yes, men peacock for other men, but we really peacock for you guys. We want to impress you guys with everything that we do to get what you guys have.

Why Troy Built T363 Skin

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Yeah. And I think it's interesting because I think what used to impress women and get their attention no longer does because there's two women have started to communicate with each other and they're like, you know, those are red flags, actually. Yeah. Uh I now look back on my long-term relationship, uh, which was 14 years, um, and I see now that I was being love bombed for five years and I couldn't even see it. I thought, oh gosh, I'm I must have really lucked out. And of course, and I I think a lot of women now see like that. We have conversations now, like 10 years ago, we weren't talking about these things. Um, so I'm I I must bridge us to skincare. I'm a big, a big fan of skincare, although I believe in keeping it simple. Um, you, what made you create a skincare line?

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Yeah, I think you know, I was a fashion journalist. Um, I wrote for Forbes, Forbes Life New York Times, and had an opportunity to travel the world. And I realized when I was doing that that no one was speaking to straight men about how to dress. And then when I started consulting, I was consulting with Simrise, um, one of the second largest flavors and fragrance houses in the world. And I realized that no one was speaking to straight men about taking care of their skin. And that was my aha moment. And I spent time in Seoul Korea and really started talking to a lot. Of my network, you know, being a journalist, I started to amass a network and I started to really talk to people who were smarter than I about certain things. And but instinctively, I knew that skincare was the way because A, I was in prison, and then my mother used to always say something to me when I was growing up. She would always say, Troy, you have to take care of your black skin because uh your white counterparts can look any kind of way they want, but you cannot. Presentation has to be key for you, and so that always was in the back of my mind, and then the culmination of all the things I was studying and realizing that was where I wanted to, you know, put my knife in the sand.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

And the name of your brand, T363 Skin. Yes, ah, yeah, yeah. You guys are gonna love this. What's the name? What does those initials stand for?

SPEAKER_00 24:10

So T is the first initial of my name, Troy. Uh 363 is the last three of my prison number.

unknown 24:18

I love that.

What’s Next And Listener Actions

SPEAKER_01 24:19

That's amazing. I mean, I just think that's such a it's a cool, it's a cool story. If you I mean, knowing that you spun your whole life around and that you're leading men into the future where their their joie de vive or joy of living will be enhanced by learning emotional and mental uh mastery. And on top of that, you're teaching them to take care of their skin. I mean, I just I just love the whole story and the name of the brand.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

I'm making them better for you ladies.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Ah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hey ladies, you gotta go check out the website because I know most of uh most of the women who have we're the ones buying the skincare for the men. So go check it out. Um, so what do you have uh what do you have coming up except me dragging you into speaking at a TEDx event?

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Well, I'm gonna do a TEDx event very soon with you, and I'm looking forward to that. I have some additional podcasts. Um, I am on a serious capital raise right now. We're raising$10 million for our business. I just got accepted to IBM's uh hackathon incubator that we're doing because we're building an app for our business and infusing AI. Um, I'm going to London to meet my advisor and work on our PL and all of that. And so just staying very busy. Um, I'm speaking in a couple prisons uh to inspire and help men. And you know, just out here just doing giving positive energy and just you know, just being a good guy.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

I love that. Troy, it's been such a delight to speak to you, to get to know your story. Uh, you and I will be chatting because I'm guessing I'm gonna be dragging you into some events.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

Um, you have to you have to you have to text me, text me your number in the chat, and so we can really start connecting because I'm I'm in Miami, so we can you know have a meal, have a drink. I would I would love to have a meal with you and have a drink.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Oh, we're definitely gonna be we'll be doing that. And you guys will share some pictures on social media, which brings me to if you do not already follow the show, hello. What are what are you thinking? Uh please subscribe and share the show with your friends and family. It's intelligent listening, which we could use more of these days. Uh, there's so much content out there that's literally um consciousness draining and uh and energy draining. I think most, I think frankly, half the content that's out there is about uh energy vampires just inhaling all your energy. So subscribe. Um if you want to learn more about my books, uh if you're not already uh a longtime fan, you might not know I've written three books. I'm actually on my fours. You can check out my three books, which are bestsellers, on my personal website, author speaker website, Cynthia L. Elliot. And if you want to learn about the work of the Soltec Foundation, which is what the show is named after, um, please go check out my 501c3 Soltech Foundation.org. We've got an incredible event coming up in October uh called the Her Health Summit, where a bunch of badass women are coming together to lead the conversation around women's health into the future. And you can learn all about all of that at uh soultechfoundation.org. So thank you so much for listening today, Troy. Thank you again for being such a doll and sharing your very powerful story. Uh, we'll see you guys soon enough. Uh and have a wonderful week.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Thank you. Bye.