The Age Guide: Perspectives on the Aging Journey

The Great Reconnection: Advocating for Kinship Families through Legislation

• Age Guide • Season 3 • Episode 3

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"When I presented my bill, I said to people, grandparents will would die for their grandchildren and in many cases they are, because in order to afford things for a little person, you will you will forego your own medicines, you will forego your own nourishment. You will forego an awful lot, your own doctor's appointments so that you can provide for these little people." - Natalie Manley

In this episode, Part 2 of our series - Supporting Older Adults Who are Parenting Again, we continue our celebration of our 50th Anniversary theme, ‘The Great Re-Connection.’ We’re talking about helping build connections and supports for a very special group of older adults – those caring for children. Some are grandparents, some are aunts, uncles, or even unrelated friends, but they are all caregivers who have found themselves parenting children in their 60’s and beyond.  

A group of these dedicated kinship caregivers found a champion in Deputy majority leader, Natalie Manley, who represents District 98 in the Illinois General Assembly. In this interview, Leader Manley explains how her passion for supporting older adults raising children inspired a legislative Advisory Council to help elevate the voices of these kinship families in Springfield. 

  • House Bill 0780 (The full text can be found here) established the Illinois Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Pilot Program to provide outreach and services to older adults raising a child/children in Will County.
  • State Rep Natalie Manley encourages grandparents or others in her community to join her for a Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Legislative Committee to share their unique viewpoints and make their voices heard.
  • To RSVP for the next meeting, please contact Manley’s district office at info.repmanley@gmail.com or call 815-725-2741. Those who wish to participate via Zoom will receive the link after sending their RSVP.
  • The Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Pilot Program will be administered by Senior Services of Will County: 815-723-9713  https://willcountyseniors.org/.

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SPEAKER_01:

Hello, and welcome to The Age Guide, perspectives on the aging journey. We are here to be your personal age guide and enhance your quality of life on the road ahead. In this episode, part two of our series, supporting older adults who are parenting again, we continue our celebration of our 50th anniversary theme, The Great Reconnection. We're talking about helping build connections and supports for a very special group of older adults, those caring for children. Some are grandparents, some are aunts, uncles, or even unrelated friends. But they are all caregivers who have found themselves parenting children in their 60s and beyond. A group of these dedicated kinship caregivers found a champion in assistant majority leader Natalie Manley. who represents District 98 in the Illinois General Assembly. In this interview, Leader Manley explains how her passion for supporting older adults raising children inspired a legislative advisory committee to help elevate the voices of these kinship families in Springfield. Let's listen in.

SPEAKER_04:

Hello, and thank you so much for joining us on the Age Guide podcast. This episode is one of a series that we're doing on our 50th anniversary as an area agency on aging, where we're highlighting various programs for older adults that are paid for by the Older Americans Act. And I am privileged to have with me today, Representative Natalie Manley, who is the Assistant Majority Leader of the Illinois General Assembly, representing District 98, which, if I'm correct, covers parts of Bolingbrook, Plainfield, Romeoville and down into Joliet. Is that right? Crest Hill as well. Oh, and Crest Hill as well. A large, oddly shaped district.

SPEAKER_03:

It is. It is narrow, but you can get from end to end in about 25, 30 minutes. Oh, that's a nice size.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, it's a nice

SPEAKER_03:

size.

SPEAKER_04:

Leader Manley is a staunch advocate for older adults and a champion for age guides priorities like supporting veterans, mental health, preventing scams, and supporting older adults, particularly those raising children. As we're recording this, it's still November, which is National Family Caregivers Month. And we've been talking about this very specific caregiver population of kinship care or grandparents raising children, older adults raising any kind of a child in their 60s and beyond. And Leader Manley has been leading a support group for these folks in her district and championing their cause in Springfield. So I'm excited to talk with Thank you for

SPEAKER_03:

having me here. I appreciate it, Gretchen. This is exciting for me. I wish every piece of legislation I sponsored had this much attention, but I think we've really struck a chord on the grandparents raising grandchildren and issue. I've been in the legislature 11 years. I'm about to finish up 11, run every two years for office. So this next election will be my seventh time.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, so that's coming up

SPEAKER_03:

quickly. Yeah, it'll be here before you know it. Like, suddenly I became a grandparent. So congratulations. Well, he's been here a little while, but in the blink of an eye, I guess is my point that, you know, You start out in one decade and sooner or later you're in another and you don't know how the time went by so quickly. I am the deputy majority leader of the Illinois House of Representatives. I serve in the House with a number of talented and great people on both sides of the aisle. And I've been doing that, like I said, this will be my 11th year and it's been wonderful heartbreaking stressful magical all rolled into one so it's probably the helping people is the best thing the best work you can do but actually solving problems is to make people's lives better is really the the icing on the cake and We've been through quite a bit. You know, when I think back, people say, what kind of legislation do you say? One year rolls into the next, but your mind resets and you move past the issue. You solve one problem, you're on to the next. And there is no lack of problems to solve. Right. That's true. And that's not just in Illinois. That's nationwide. And every walk of life, we all have issues, things we could do better. And so right now, on the bright side of COVID, there was a dark...

SPEAKER_04:

There were some dark days there,

SPEAKER_03:

for sure. Last March and April, we were getting through some budget things, and it was difficult. And somebody was complaining. And I said, well... At least we're not stacking dead bodies in refrigerator trucks because that's what we were doing three years ago. And so we can handle the rest. We can deal with this. We can solve the problems. We just have to be committed to solving the problem and see it through to the end.

SPEAKER_04:

It really puts things in perspective. It does.

SPEAKER_03:

On families, older adults. If there was a weakness in a relationship, COVID exposed that weakness and destroyed things. I mean, there's some really... If you want to be positive about COVID, there are some wonderful things that have happened now as a result of it. We learned to adapt. But one of the major stressors on families during COVID was... Isolation, not being able to get to the doctor. Some people, the opposite of isolation, had too much togetherness during that time. Right. And it kind of exposed some things that maybe being busy in their daily lives didn't point to, right? Right. One of the things, and this is how we got to the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Legislative Advisory Committee, is the committee that I formulated. Oh, okay. The support group is run by Mary White and has been meeting for many, many years. And they invited me to come to the group because I was interested in this phenomenon that was happening out there. Okay. We lost a lot of people during COVID. A lot of people, young and old, a lot of people got lost during COVID. Fell through the cracks. Fell through the cracks. There was a lot of drug use. There was a lot of stress. There was a lot of mental illness. There was a lot of things happening that affected the family. One of the byproducts of that situation is Grandparents suddenly had their children and their grandchildren in their homes. A lot of people lost their jobs. They couldn't afford to live in their own homes. In addition to that, the world just got to be too hard for some people. Some of the parents of these grandchildren vanished, whether they died or just disappeared, were lost to the strains of mental illness, and I want to put in mental illness, I want to be very clear that it manifests itself in what you would normally, depressions and some of the more severe mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, but also drug use and alcohol use. There are things that the that get categorized differently than mental health. And I want to be clear that mental health is... Mental illness is a disease of the brain, as is addiction. Right. And so some people succumb to that. End result is I had a lot of grandparents raising little people. Mm-hmm. And they weren't just grandparents. I'm going to tell you, some of them were siblings. Some of them were aunts and uncles. Some of them are neighbors. Some of them were the lunch ladies. Some are

SPEAKER_04:

even unrelated, but they're like family. And they stepped into the gap and started raising kids again. Exactly. They thought they were finished.

SPEAKER_03:

And being a grandparent, my daughter is a single mom. I know how grandparents think. When I presented my bill, which in essence we'll talk about, but created the pilot program here in Will County that is gonna be run by the Senior Service Center of Will County, who was a top notch organization. I said to people, grandparents would die for their grandchildren. And in many cases they are, because in order to afford things, for a little person, you will forego your own medicines. You will forego your own nourishment. You will forego an awful lot, your own doctor's appointments, so that you can provide for these little people.

SPEAKER_04:

And we're talking about people who are already on a fixed income, sometimes already on a really tight budget. And they're just adding in a child. We all know how expensive it is to raise a child, maybe even several children. And

SPEAKER_03:

exhausting, right? And exhausting. So... They don't mean to be exhausting, but they just are. My grandson doesn't stop talking. That in itself is exhausting, right? So Mary White invited me to come to her support group. Is she

SPEAKER_04:

affiliated with an organization?

SPEAKER_03:

You know, South Suburban Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Oh, okay. Okay. So she's local here in the Will County area, does fantastic work. And I thought to myself, this is great. You know, these grandparents can share their knowledge, get comfort and support from each other. My job is to fix problems legislatively.

SPEAKER_04:

I love that you see it that way. Totally. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, I wish I could tell you I was a type of person that could like, you know, I am a warm and feeling human being, but everybody has a role. And Mary White did such a good job with the support end. Now I wanted to do my job. And my job is to fix things in the law to help people. Let's make life better for these grandparents, right? Fix

SPEAKER_04:

the system, right?

SPEAKER_03:

So I created a Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Legislative Advisory Committee. And I'm going to tell you how proud I am of these people. You don't have to show up to every meeting. You don't have to say a word at any of these meetings. They are the most dedicated group. I'm so proud of them because if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have the pilot program. They sat in the meetings. We meet once a month. And we discuss not how you feel, but what are the factual problems? I always tell them, carve out the emotion. I'm going to sound like an ogre. Carve out the emotion. Let's drill down to the issue. That's what

SPEAKER_04:

the support group is for.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. This group, you're

SPEAKER_04:

trying to figure out where's the issue? Where's the roadblock? Where's

SPEAKER_03:

the challenge so that we can fix it? So we figured out through many, many months of conversation. And I wish you could come to this group because I have... I would love to. Oh, it is. You can, you can, it's a virtual, it's a hybrid because a lot of people take their lunch hour to join us. Not every grandparent is quote unquote old. Some are younger in their fifties. Some are older in their eighties and they all show up because they are dedicated to to the cause. Their love for their grandchildren kind of transcends maybe what services they need now. And what I found is at the end of the day, first of all, in my group, and we can't be unique, I feel like we are just a microcosm of what really is going on out there. Probably, yeah. Everybody has a different role. So there are some people that have adopted, some people that have a different legal relationship. Guardianship or they're working through DCFS. And it's all complicated. I'm not a lawyer. I'm a CPA by training. I was raised professionally as a certified public accountant. Okay. And which would, which will speak to the linear way I think and how step one, step two, and then we get to the prize where we fix the problem. Right. But every, every family, regardless of age, regardless of, legal status had one thing in common and that all of the children had some sort of special need.

SPEAKER_04:

Challenge as a result of trauma and having been removed from a birth parent. Yes. I'm so glad you recognize that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. And that was like a blaring similarity. Some of them may have low forms of autism and some go all the way up to where they have personality disorders and schizophrenia, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

Whatever the case, these are older people who have raised their children and now are being asked, not being asked to, but feel the obligation to step up and help raise their grandchildren. And these are

SPEAKER_04:

kids who come with a lot of baggage, is what you're saying, and a lot of challenges. There

SPEAKER_03:

is no break from it. The worry is the same. And now you kind of pile on some of the special needs that the kids need. Between doctor's visits and medications, trying to get those right. Now you're a grandparent and you're tired. Okay. You're tired. I'm just speaking for myself. I love this child more than life. This little, my grandson, more than life. But when he leaves, there's like a silence. And I just look at my husband and go, I love him so much. I miss him now, but I'm... I'm so happy for this, like five minutes of silence, right? Yeah. But he goes home. Right. There's a lot of grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, whomever. Grandparents raising grandchildren plus, I like to refer to.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, that's a good way.

SPEAKER_03:

GRG plus. Right, that's a

SPEAKER_04:

good way to describe it.

SPEAKER_03:

Where the kids don't go home. There is no break.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

UNKNOWN:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

And then not only are you trying to entertain and deal with these behaviors and just the overwhelming volume of their voices and everything, but you're planning things like school and special education services and therapy appointments and buying clothes and shoes and

SPEAKER_03:

just taking them to the store. Just taking them to the store is an endeavor. Yeah. Some kids, right? Right. How am I going to get through the next two hours? Right. When am I going to have a break? Exactly. So, What I found was is there might be services out there, but grandparents, GRG+, whomever, don't have the time, the energy, and sometimes the sophistication to go on the computer and search through the murky waters of state government where services might be housed, might be available. They just go without. They do without. Right. And their peers

SPEAKER_04:

can't necessarily help them if their peers are not raising children. They can't just go to, you know, a group and hang out with their friends and get the information like maybe a younger parent might have, like a group of their peers who are also raising children. I would think that would be kind of a challenge for these GRG plusers

SPEAKER_03:

as well. The confidence to go on the Internet, the energy to go through it. Because a lot of this stuff doesn't happen instantaneously. It's one conversation leads you to the next conversation. Then you find a brick wall and then you got to go back. It's just so much to do on top of what they're doing on a daily basis. So the program, in essence, if you want to just basically is we are going to create a position where where a grandparent can call, walk in, whatever it is, grandparent or whomever, doesn't even have to be in my district. We are trying to create the gold standard of trying to get help that might be available to these people that need it so desperately. Data collect, so we're gonna require some data. So a pilot program to me, and this is my accounting side and also being in the General Assembly. Let's make sure that the money is being well spent. Does this type of program work?

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

You got to be

SPEAKER_04:

collecting some data.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. So I've selected people in the senior services of Will County that are more than capable of creating and running this program, but also are responsible enough to collect the data so that we can analyze it and decipher this work. This didn't work. How should we change it? And kind of tweak and adjust it as we go. Excellent. At the end of the three years, did we spend the money wisely? Does this actually work? Do we need this? And we'll be able to make that decision. And if it does work, we use this as a template across the state. Excellent. That's really exciting.

SPEAKER_04:

So it's a three-year pilot. When does it start? January 1st.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. We've already had some interest and people coming through the door and calling senior services, but part of it is being, so that, so I visualize this. I like to go through the iteration in my head. Person, I'm, let's say I am the representative at senior service center. I am the GRG plus advocate. Person walks through the door, sits down, My job is to help find out what they need, connect them to what they need. And if we can't, if it's not there, let Representative Manley know we need this. Okay. We need this. This is a common theme. Yes. Let's actually do something that works based on facts. What a novel approach to government, right? Let's do something that might work and we'll find out if it's not necessary. Right. I mean,

SPEAKER_04:

you have to be a little flexible. I

SPEAKER_03:

would think I would if I had if I had to guess, I'm going to guess we're not unique here and that this issue transcends representative districts, counties in Illinois and even states. Definitely. So I'm going to I hope I hope that we find that the that the service works and that we can somehow make raising money. children that aren't your own, that you've had the honor to serve as their caregiver, caretaker, we can help you with that. Yes. Being a grandparent is the biggest honor of my life. It doesn't mean it's easy. Right. But having to go through the day-to-day kind of robs you of some of that grandparent joy. Right. And I want them to feel the joy. They deserve it. That's

SPEAKER_04:

a good point. And yeah, I think that's very, very important. And I want listeners to understand too that because we talk about these challenges because we're trying to fix things, but there are also a lot of benefits to kids who are raised by grandparents. The research shows that they get some very unique benefits from being raised by a grandparent. They tend to have very good social interactions with all age groups. They tend to be very well socially connected. And both the grandparent or the older adult or family member also is better socially connected as a result of raising a child, right? So there are some benefits that come along with this. But like you said, it's still hard. And we want to take some of that away. So I think that is wonderful. And Age Guide has seen this problem across our region as well. So I think you're right. It's not an isolated issue just for your district. We're seeing it too.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I... If we are in the business to help people, and I believe that government is there to help people, then this is a really good way to do that. I think nothing's perfect. Being in government is not trying to make life perfect for people. There's no such thing. And everybody's level of what is a good, a life well-lived It might be different, but I do know that grandchildren make your life worth living, right? They are pure joy. Little people are pure joy. At the end of the day, when the talking stops and the meltdowns are over and you look at them, I don't know how else to describe it, but my heart is so full of love. I want everyone to feel like that. They deserve it. Grandparents deserve it. And I will tell you this also. I was astounded by how many people came up to me and said, you know, I was raised by my grandparents. My mom and dad, whatever the case may be, I lived with my grandparents. It is exactly what you say. It is a profound benefit. for the extended family to be part of the raising, the nurturing of children. And these grandparents probably didn't envision themselves doing it quite this way, but that's the way life is. So we're gonna make the best of it. Try to help them out.

SPEAKER_04:

I love that. I love that you're stepping into this place that's unique and yet becoming more and more pervasive in our communities.

SPEAKER_01:

Hello and welcome to your Medicare Minute. We are here with Val Guzman, our benefit access specialist here at Age Guide. Today we have a question from Diana in Grundy County. She said, I heard there were new restrictions on insurance companies coming soon. How will that affect me? Is this a good thing?

SPEAKER_00:

Medicare started enforcing new rules that limit how often insurance agents call you, when they can send you mailers, and prevent salespeople from requesting your personal information. Agents can pressure you into signing up for something by using threatening language that can sound like you're losing coverage or benefits. One of the goals of these new rules is to have advertising that's less confusing and that doesn't misrepresent the benefits that these plans offer. You can also opt out of receiving calls and mailers, and there are penalties if the insurance companies don't comply. If you need to report any issues, you can do so directly with Medicare by calling 1-800-Medicare.

SPEAKER_04:

So the Legislative Advisory Committee, did they help you come up with the exact legislation that you proposed and passed?

SPEAKER_03:

So their job is We had staff on from Springfield every meeting via Zoom on a big screen, and they listened to everything. We kind of put together months of conversation, and there was a lot of problems, right? Everybody has their unique– if it wasn't somebody trying to get their grandchild registered at school, trying– get their doctor immunizations. There's so much that grandparents were dealing with. But I felt like if we can help them go from point A to point B in a streamlined way without all the roadblocks and misinformation, that would be a huge help. So we- Move the way a little bit. To answer your question, yes. They, through their conversation, they're sharing their stories. We came up with this- to be step one of trying to help these grandparents, yes.

SPEAKER_04:

Awesome. And it's going to be piloted at Senior Services of Will County. We interviewed them for a podcast as well. So that's a separate podcast that folks can listen to and hear a little bit more about how that program is going to get off the ground. But I assume that your advisory committee will keep going through all of this and be looking at the data and trying to decide how to tweak it. Well, we've

SPEAKER_03:

got a lot of problems, right? So step one, we're going to do that. I want to also mention that the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Legislative Advisory Committee was present when Governor Pritzker came to district to sign the bill into law.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, that's

SPEAKER_03:

exciting. They were in the audience. I gave a speech and mentioned each one of their grandchildren's names. Oh, that's awesome. This work that we did collectively that I credit to them 100% was on behalf of This one's grandchild. That one's grandchild. This one's grandchild. And they all got a pen. The governor's like, how many pens do you want me to use? I said, I've got a big group. You're going to have to keep changing pens. So they all got their pen. They deserve the recognition. Yes, this is some serious work. I have 80-year-old people in the dead of winter coming from a parking lot into the meeting because they know how important this is.

SPEAKER_04:

That's so awesome that they can see the big picture, really, when they're down in the weeds with these kids. And they are willing to take this step, like you said, to go out in the dead of winter to make a difference and have an impact on

SPEAKER_03:

this. Instead of staying home and taking a nap, they come to my meeting. Right? Yeah. So this is a level of dedication that only grandparents can do. That is

SPEAKER_04:

special.

SPEAKER_03:

That

SPEAKER_04:

is so awesome.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So I'm really proud of them. They deserve the credit. I'm just doing my job, the job people elect me to do. I'm doing my job, and I am honored to be with them. They're doing the hard work. So, yeah, it was a shot. It was like life breathed into my weary legislative sails because sometimes things get really tough in Springfield. Oh, I bet.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Each session has its challenges and I needed it. I needed it both as a human being and as a legislator to see something great happen for these people that were really struggling.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. Well, good for you and good for them. I'm so excited. And I know we're going to be working with your office to get a couple of your advisory group members on the podcast. So I'm really excited to talk to them from their perspective on what this whole process was like and getting involved in making legislation. So we're looking forward to that next podcast as well.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, the governor was really good to them. They all took a picture and he's like a rock star. They swarmed around. around him. It wasn't a big room, probably maybe 70, 75 people in the room at the bill signing. And I was so grateful to him for doing that.

SPEAKER_04:

That's great.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm a big fan.

SPEAKER_04:

Good. Oh, that's such an exciting win just to be able to see some change going in the right direction for these folks.

SPEAKER_03:

And doing it like the right way. Like we're not just throwing money at something. We're going to make sure that The money's being, well, I owe that to the taxpayers in the state, right? That we're spending the money the right way. I doubt it, but maybe we'll find through the data that this isn't the right way to go about this. You never know,

SPEAKER_04:

right?

SPEAKER_03:

But you'll find

SPEAKER_04:

out. We will find out. And you'll adjust as needed. Exactly. Excellent. Well, this was just a wonderful conversation, Representative Manley. Thank you so much for sharing and for being here with us today. And I wish you luck as you launch this program. And I'm so excited to follow it. We'll put some links in the show notes so that folks can find out more about the legislation and the advisory committee and what you guys are doing.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you so much. This has been a pleasure. My first podcast in the books.

SPEAKER_04:

Awesome. Congratulations. I'm so pleased to be your first podcast and hopefully the first of many more. Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for listening to The Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey. We hope you learned something new on this podcast because we all have a stake in promoting a high quality of life for people on their aging journey. Age Guide coordinates and administers many services for older adults in Northeastern Illinois. We serve DuPage, Grundy, Kane, Kankakee, Kendall, Lake, McHenry, and Will Counties. Our specially trained professionals are available to answer questions and connect you with local service providers and resources. If you are interested in these services or want to learn more, go to our website at hguide.org. Call our offices at 630-293-5990. Please follow our podcast so when we post our monthly podcast, you are notified on your streaming account. Thank you, and we will see you next time on the Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey.