Size Matters: How to Stop Shrinking and Start Taking Up Space | Ep. 87

In this episode, Aliya Cheyanne explores the theme of self-worth and the tendency to play small in various aspects of life. She shares personal anecdotes about her experiences with shrinking herself in social and professional settings, emphasizing the importance of recognizing one's value and charging appropriately for services. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of working with nonprofit versus for-profit organizations, and concludes with a mental wealth tip encouraging listeners to reclaim their space and worth.

Related Episode:

• Faith & Freedom on the Creative Journey ft. Chimdi Ihezie | Ep. 54

HelloCreator Weekly Community Sessions: Creative Coaching with Chimdi Ihezie

• Liberating the Money Shadow
• Liberating the Money Shadow (continued)
• Aligned Pricing as a Creative Entrepreneur
• Aligned Pricing as a Creative Entrepreneur (continued)

Theme Music:
She No Dull Beat by Nana Kwabena
Festivities in Belize by RAGE Productions

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Listener Review
• 5:07 Question: How Do You Play Small?
• 8:20 Playing Small in Pricing and Value
• 12:04 Consultant Fee Disparities Revealed
• 13:59 Mental Wealth Tip and Closing

Transcript

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:21

Hey friend, welcome back to the show. Today's episode is going to be an audio only experience. It's a solo episode. I'm super excited to jump into this conversation and this topic, so thank you so much for being here. So before we jump into today's YAP session, I want to read a review that the show received from Cody Mars that says inspiring, relatable and such brilliance with the interviewing and guest selection. Cody paired that review with a five-star rating. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much, cody Mars. I just want to take a minute to sit with that review. Thank you for seeing me. I feel so, seen your review is so deeply affirming. Thank you for taking a moment out of your day to rate and review the show. It's free, quick and easy to do, but it makes such a huge difference for the show. Your review has already helped others to discover this podcast and, in addition to that, it's really, really important and meaningful to me because it helps me to know that I'm not just having these conversations in vain or speaking into the void, and that someone out there, like you and others, are receiving the message and the show is having a positive impact. So thank you for listening, thank you for tapping in. Thank you for telling me what you think. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for being here.

Aliya Cheyanne: 2:59

If you've been listening to the show for some time or dabbled in episodes here and there, please take a moment to leave me a review. You can even do it while you're listening right now. You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or a rating and comments on your favorite episodes on Spotify, like a video on YouTube. Leave a comment there as well. Follow the podcast YouTube channel. Follow the show on your favorite podcast platform. Leave a review wherever you're listening to the show right now. But, most importantly, don't forget to tell a friend. To tell a friend or to drop a link to the podcast or your favorite episode in the group chat.

Aliya Cheyanne: 3:43

Okay, friends, so let's kick off with a question of the week. In what ways have you made yourself small At home, at work, in public spaces, emotionally, physically, intellectually? I've been thinking about ways I've played small, ways I've shrunken myself, either professionally or personally. What got me thinking about the topic was because recently I was on a flight home and it was a connecting flight. I had a window seat for the first flight but a middle seat for the second, and I kept literally shrinking myself to be less in the way of the folks seated next to me. I had to stop and say to myself like girl, fix your posture. You don't unclench your jaw right now. Put your arms back, bro, stretch out a little on the armrests. Why do you have to be overly accommodating? Why do you have to be the uncomfortable one? It's a tight space already. They're prioritizing their comfort in their space. Loosen up, and so I did, and each time I noticed myself shrinking again.

Aliya Cheyanne: 5:04

After that, because it was normal and natural and what I'm used to, I did my best to remind myself to unwind and to relax a bit and to take up space. This moment was a reminder to stop playing small, to stop being so timid, to stop playing small, to stop being so timid. Personally, I recently went through an experience where I tried to minimize my emotions and my feelings about an incident, to bury it, to keep it quiet so that it wouldn't become a bigger issue, but instead of creating room for it to be expressed like it needed to be, instead of something small staying small, it became something huge and unnecessary. It's now a raw issue that requires a season of space, healing, repair and rebuilding. I even realized recently that I'm playing small in my work too.

Aliya Cheyanne: 6:40

Something I've struggled with branching out on my own as a consultant is my pricing the constant struggle of undervaluing myself, not knowing my worth or my value when it comes to pricing my services and contracts, or accepting less because I'm afraid to lose or upset a client. I've been guilty of this, but not anymore. You know, my word for 2024 was audacity and my word for 2025 is devotion. I have to be bold enough, audacious enough and so deeply devoted to myself that I honor the energy of money and the value of my labor. I've gone back and forth about pricing on so many levels. In fact, one of our former guests on the podcast, chimdi Ihezie, has helped me to process this in a former Hello Creator creative roundtable session. I'll link to our episode of the podcast, as well as that roundtable session in the show notes for anyone who wants to check them out. But I've been working on this since then. Two experiences recently showed me that I'm still playing small. Okay, so I'll be transparent about my rate, because I know someone out there could use an example on their own journey.

Aliya Cheyanne: 8:20

At the time of this recording has a decade of policy communications and program experience with nonprofit organizations, my hourly rate is 250. That means that when I execute a contract with an organization, based on the number of hours in that contract as low as 20, as high as 300 or more that's what I get for the job. If a contract is for a certain amount, my work plan and proposal will break down how that budget is being spent, in phases, by allocations of time and as per my rate, although I do process everything through my business. I am a sole proprietor and still a team of one. At this stage the terms vary. Sole proprietor and still a team of one. At this stage the terms vary. I prefer monthly retainers over the course of a set of months so that I have guaranteed income for the duration of the contract that does not fluctuate. I've done other models where maybe I get 50% up front and 50% at completion. I've done 25% splits or 50-, 25, 25. It depends on the contract, the client and the budget. I often have multiple contracts running simultaneously, depending on the hours required per job and how I can balance my week and months. But I've also had several instances where I've just focused on one contract because it pays more than enough for me to have my needs met.

Aliya Cheyanne: 9:45

I largely work with nonprofits, but I have and will work for for-profit organizations too. Now, to some people my rate is high, to others not so much. It's not high at all. While some organizations can't afford my rate, others have deemed my rate a complete steal. And here's where the example of playing small comes in. I recently connected with a woman a white woman, and this is important who works as a consultant we're in similar fields and she shared that her hourly rate is $400. Hourly rate is 400. On a separate occasion I learned about a male marketing consultant who charges 600 per hour for the first 40 hours and 1,000 per every hour over 40 hours where he has to put in overtime in a given week. I share these rates and identities to share not only the disparities when it comes to consulting in related fields and the dynamics at play, but to also demonstrate how much more audacious and devoted to my bag I could be and I should be Now.

Aliya Cheyanne: 11:00

Nonprofits can be tricky when it comes to funding. Every grant dollar has to be accounted for. Many are being stripped of crucial resources in this current political climate and under this horrid administration. So my rate will likely stay my rate in that regard. Not all, but many nonprofits bring on consultants in the short term because occasionally they may not have the budget to cover the overhead costs of hiring a new staff member full-time. Not true all the time, but sometimes it's true for some. Now, as for the for-profit organizations who oftentimes have more unlimited, unrestricted funds, please know I'll be charging my worth from here on out and blame them, folks, for not gatekeeping their rates and helping a sister understand the dynamics at play a bit better. No more playing small, here's to being boldly and audaciously devoted to me and my bag. Now.

Aliya Cheyanne: 12:11

I ideated and mapped out this entire episode on that flight that I referenced at the top of the episode. We boarded and were stuck at the gate for about an hour while the airline pilot and crew sorted through an issue on the plane. I'm home safe and sound at the time of this recording and I really hope this episode was helpful to you in some way, shape or form. And don't forget to tell a friend, to tell a friend about this episode and the show. Thank you, friend. I want to leave you with a mental wealth tip of the week Learn to take up space, in the words of the incomparable Levon Briggs.

Aliya Cheyanne: 12:54

You're worthy, beloved, and if you're someone who journals write this down, in what ways have I dimmed my light to make others more comfortable? And how can I reclaim my space emotionally, professionally, spiritually and beyond All? Right, friend, thanks for tuning in to another short but sweet episode of the show. If this episode resonated with you, please be sure to tell a friend, to tell a friend and to rate and review the show wherever you're listening to it right now. Thank you for lending me your time, your energy and your ears. I appreciate you for being here. Have a great rest of your day or night and I'll catch you on the next episode. Bye.