The Outdoor Gibbon

8. Blood on your hands and emotions

• The Outdoor Gibbon • Season 1 • Episode 8

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0:00 | 18:17

***Remastered this is fresh update to the Outdoor Gibbon Podcast ***

That moment when crosshairs steady on a deer and your finger prepares to squeeze the trigger unleashes a cascade of emotions few non-hunters understand. Your heartbeat quickens, breathing shifts, and time seems to stretch—then compress into that split-second decision.

Episode 8 of the Outdoor Gibbon podcast explores the psychological landscape of hunting that's rarely discussed publicly. Having guided countless first-timers through their inaugural harvest, I've witnessed the full spectrum of human reactions: tears streaming down faces, uncontainable excitement, quiet reverence, and sometimes an urgent need to process physically (including those awkward "I need to find a tree to hide behind right now" moments). Men often experience classic "buck fever" with shaking hands and racing hearts, while women typically remain calmer during the shot but process more intensely afterward.

This emotional complexity extends into how we share—or don't share—hunting experiences with family members. My eight-year-old daughter happily plucks away with an air rifle but believes everything's "cute and fluffy" and isn't ready to witness a harvest. My wife joined me once to understand where our table meat comes from, watched the entire process from shot to field dressing, then simply said, "I've seen it. I now know where all the meat comes from on our table. It doesn't interest me." Both perspectives deserve respect. The relationship between hunting and conservation requires similar nuance. Not every fox needs shooting, not every predator represents a problem, and ethical hunters constantly evaluate necessity rather than killing indiscriminately. 

Want to share your thoughts about the emotional side of hunting? Drop a message or comment about your experiences. The more we openly discuss these deeper aspects of hunting, the better we bridge divides with those who view our traditions from the outside looking in.


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Welcome to Outdoor Gibbon

Speaker 2

Hello and welcome to the Outdoor Gibbon podcast, episode 8. It's a bit of a random rambly thing about emotions and shooting and sort of just general stuff. I've recorded this at about 2 o'clock in the morning, just going through some thoughts that were going through my head after watching and listening to conversations today and I thought, well, I'll get it down, I'll get it recorded and we will see what it comes out like and what people's thoughts are. So if you do have any comments or any questions about this, or you agree with it or disagree with it, drop us a message or leave us a post or something like that, and that'd be really handy. Anyway, we'll get this podcast started.

Speaker 2

So there you are. You've got the crosshairs looking down the scope on your target. Let's just say it's a deer, this is what we're shooting at today. How do you feel? Well, normally there's a slight raise in the heartbeat. Doesn't matter who you are, it happens to everybody. You learn to control it. It'll always get you that moment of yes, this is it, this is a great puck or this is a great deer, I'm gonna pull the trigger on. You have to control that breathe. Your finger gets ready to squeeze the trigger and you release the shot and it's all over in a split second literally bang, and you either have kept your eyes open or your eyes have momentarily closed. Do you lift your head away from the scope or are you watching the whole thing unfold? Which way did my deer run run? Did my rifle jump completely? And, um, hopefully, you get to watch, watch everything unfold and your deer runs a few yards and falls over. It's that moment, though, that you then think well, I do anyway, you've just taken a life, and, yeah, it's been interesting, really, because obviously I've taken a lot of people out to shoot their first deer now, and everybody's reaction is different. It's, um, it's a strange one, because everybody has a slightly different way of dealing with the process. Some have tears, some complete excitement, and it's just happiness continuously, and they're buzzing. Others take that moment to reflect and, sort of, we get over to the animal, say thank you for taking it. We get over to the animal, say thank you for for taking it, and you get to see, you kind of get to to hold their hand through the journey at the end of the day, and I think that's quite important, because, I don't know, I think sometimes it could be a bit rushed. You've paid. If you've gone and paid for a stalk or something like that, the stalker takes you out, you pull the trigger. Do you actually get that time to sit down and reflect on what's gone on, because there's a lot of emotions that suddenly run through people's bodies.

Reactions Across Different Hunters

Speaker 2

I've had, as I say, different reactions from everybody I take out, and those reactions are different again, between males and females Generally males. The adrenaline kicks in and it's the buck fever, you see, and the breathing changes and the heart rate heightens and they get a bit shaky behind the rifle, but calming down and a steady shot and no problem at all. It normally always takes place. You hear horror stories of guys up on the hill with a big red stag in front of them and you've got the, the guide saying can you see the animal? And the person pulling with with the rifle is like yes, yes, yes, I can see it, I can see it. Okay, when you're ready, take the shot, bang and something else falls over another animal that they weren't even aiming at and it's like you said. You could see that deer and you hear these stories quite a lot and it's all. It's a completely clean miss because the obviously the buck fever is so the adrenaline's pumping so much that these guys just shoot over the top of it or shoot under it.

Speaker 2

I've been very lucky that everybody have taken out. We've been in in a good position, always a nice stable rest, and the shot has always ended in a good result. We haven't had any misses. We've always found the deer. We needed to change it to to the ladies, and they're usually more calm and collected. You get them up on the sticks. They listen to what, what you want them to do, they take the shot, and as soon as the shot's been fired, that's when things change. I've had some people desperate for a wee. I've got to go to the toilet, but we're just going to go and find your deer. Oh no, no, just wait a minute, I'll just nip behind that tree or something like that. Um, so yeah, the the it's.

Personal Hunting Journey

Speaker 2

It's interesting to see how the human body copes with with this heightened stress point, but it's at the end of the day. There's always a happiness and a bunch of mixed emotions that go with it, but it's a real pleasure to be able to be there and to experience that with people for the first time, and especially to do it in a calm, controlled environment where it's not rushed and they can take as much time as they need to. And then we can go through sort of the next part of the process, can go through sort of the next part of the process. I think, looking back when I was a child and my first experience of sort of going hunting is I didn't want to kill anything, I was quite happy to watch everything that was cute and fluffy. And then I got onto rabbit shooting and you did feel a bit guilty pulling the trigger on an air rifle and taking a rabbit out, and that's where it started. And and then let's move, jump right on to the, the first deer. I think I was completely buzzing with the, the adrenaline rush of um it appearing and being told to swap onto that stag. Uh, take the shot, go find it. And I don't think it probably really sank in until till later on.

Speaker 2

But the more deer you shoot and the more people you see go through this process, it sort of becomes uh, yeah, I'm, I'm taking them through this experience that I've obviously been through and it's very interesting, because now I get a bit sentimental about deer and stuff like that and it's like, yeah, I've got to shoot them. But every one of those is is it sort of it's blood on your hands at the end of the day, and as the the hunter, you have to take responsibility for everything you do. So it's the accuracy of the rifle, it's making sure that the shot you're about to take is going to end in a in a humane dispatch. I don't want anything running. I don't want anything suffering. You want to make sure that whatever you shoot is has has quality of life. At the end of the day, the deer had a quality of life running around the forest chewing on the trees. But you pull that trigger. It needs to be over quickly.

Speaker 2

And then you respect the carcass and deal with the whole process and get it in the freezer and hopefully feed a few people from it. So, yeah, you put it in the freezer and everybody's getting fed in the it. So, yeah, you put it in the freezer and and everybody's getting fed in the household. So that kind of leads me on to my next point. Obviously I've got children and I am not in any way trying to force them into my lifestyle. I've offered it and lay it on the table and if they want to join in they can. But I think it's everybody's choice to take that opportunity and to to not have it forced upon them. I think if you force it upon them it can almost have the opposite effect and a bit of a sort of a kickback.

Family and Hunting Choices

Speaker 2

So a classic example was took my wife out and took her stalking. She'd never been out before. So we just I said, we'll just go for a walk and I'll take the rifle. Why are you taking the rifle? Well, if I see a fox or something like that, I'll, I'll drop it, just because we're there. And I remember we stalked in and we stalked into a lovely piece of bit of woodland with some clear fell on it lovely piece of bit of woodland with some clear fell on it and got in and got her to sort of 40 yards off watching some deer go by and she was enjoying that. And then I was like there's a buck over there and we're in buck season and she turns around, she goes why didn't you shoot it? I'm like, well, we're out together, I don't need to shoot it. But sometimes you come back without a deer and this one's look, it's just over there, it's just like 50 yards away, you can take that one. I'm like, well, I don't need to. No, no, I think you should. I think you should. So got myself into a position where we could get onto it so she could watch.

Speaker 2

Um waited for it to to present a nice clean shot, took the shot, um, it went down and it was interesting to see her reaction. I was like, right, we've got to go and get it now. And got over there and I was like, well, we'll just, we'll empty the green out here and then we can carry it back. And she watched the whole process and then assisted me carrying it out back to the motor, putting it in the back of the truck. Getting in the truck, we picked up a takeaway and we went home and I said to her so would, uh, would you come out again? And her reaction was no, I've seen it. I now know where all the meat comes from on our table. It doesn't interest me, um, but I've seen the process and and that was enough for her at the end of the day.

Speaker 2

And fair, fair play, I'm not going to force it. I don't try and get her out on shoot days. I don't get her to come out stalking um, we're, that's our difference. Now I, I've got a little girl of eight who is as keen as anything If I say I'm going out somewhere. She came and sat in the pigeon hide the other week. She's at that age of everything's cute and fluffy and she doesn't want anything dead. She doesn't like the thought of that, but she's quite happy to eat venison. She's changed her mind a bit on pheasant at the moment, but that'll come back around again and it's again. It's encouraged, but I'm not going to pressurize it because at the end of the day it's one of those things that you go too far and you can turn them against it completely. However, get the air rifles out, no problem at all. Both kids outside quite happy, plinking away all day.

Speaker 2

So, yeah, it's just don't, don't overdo it, don't overcook it, otherwise, uh you, you kind of put a negative side to it. My wife is very supportive of it and, um, she was out with a bunch of young mums because obviously we recently had a baby and got talking to one who has been a lifelong vegetarian but during her pregnancy was craving meat, so had to basically source happy meat, if you know what I mean. And it came up in conversation that they obviously live not very far away from where I shoot and that I would be. They'd probably see my motor going about and all the rest of it. And if they wanted any venison or they need, if she needed to go through the process, um, then I'd probably be happy to to take them out and show them the process and and things like that.

Justifying Conservation and Management

Speaker 2

So, yeah, okay, she doesn't, she doesn't get involved in coming out with the stalking side of it, but she still supports what I do and talks about it to people in sort of a a good way, so that people understand about it and a bit more, which is always helpful, because I think in this day and age there's there's far too much negative press on it and people just think that we are cold-hearted, mindless killers that go out and shoot up the countryside and cause chaos. So I suppose it takes us back around full circle, right back to the beginning about talking to the emotions and all the rest of it that go into pulling the trigger. I'm always happy to explain to anybody why I have to go out and shoot deer or shoot rabbits or do fox control, but I'll also justify as to why I don't always need to shoot everything. So that's quite important. On my clear fell. For example, people say oh, do you shoot the foxes?

Speaker 2

well no, I don't need to shoot the foxes. A fox there is just nice to watch because it doesn't actually do me any harm. It may well take the odd young deer if there's a shortage of food. There's nothing around my clearfells that it's going to harm or cause problems to. Now it's a different story if you come across to the farm where we keep the pheasants. At that point every fox is shot because potentially it's a killer that's going to go in and cause damage to to birds and potentially, if there's a fox there, it will go into other people's gardens. And I know that we've had one lady had her chickens attacked. So that was it. You're out looking for that fox and and making sure that there are no foxes there. But again, it's justification. You see, too many people post up online oh, every fox should be shot. Well, not necessarily. We do need the foxes. They do. They don't just eat all the wildlife, they, uh, they keep a balance, don't they? At the end of the day? And it's?

Speaker 2

It's very noticeable when the foxes are controlled or when you don't have a big. If you had a big pheasant shoot somewhere and the pheasant shoot goes away, the number of foxes goes down. When the foxes are controlled or when you don't have a big. If you had a big pheasant shoot somewhere and the pheasant shoot goes away, the number of foxes goes down. When the birds disappear. If the food source goes down, they disappear. I think that's just nature resetting the balance as it needs to be. Yeah, we come in and and sort of keep control of it when we've got something in there we don't want killed. But, um, yeah, 90 of the time the planet seems to do that. Quite well, obviously, you look back at deer. We've taken away their prey, their predatory animals, which was obviously the wolves, so we have to manage that.

Speaker 2

I do think I would actually like to get either a vegetarian or a vegan out to come through the the stalking process so that I can actually show them my methods of how it's done and the reason it's done, and then they can make that decision for themselves. They can see why we're doing it. The last person I had I was explaining about tree damage and showing them why trees are, how they grow when they're damaged and things like that and and the issues that occur. But yeah, it's, um, I think that would be. The next plan would be to get somebody out of of, not a militant type, just somebody that does it for their own reasons, but go through it, explain it, because I think the more we educate, the more chance we've got of closing the divide slightly. There's always going to be a militant group that want to make everything out that we are murderers and killers, but I think with education hopefully that divide can come down. It's got to come down, otherwise we've got major problems in the future. Also, the shooting community. We've got to work together because otherwise the future of this sport that we all enjoy is going to be short-lived.

Speaker 2

Again, thank you for listening. Um, hopefully you've enjoyed this one. Uh, we've got some more guests lined up very shortly. I just had some confirmation from some other exciting new guests, so hopefully we'll be bringing those to you in the near future. Just finalising off a couple of other podcasts at the moment and we'll get those released shortly. So we're kind of getting back on schedule. Winter's coming coming, shooting season's about to start, so chaos is, uh is about to begin. The uh the bucks are almost out. Uh, we've got uh just a another month pretty well, month and a half, I should say and that'll be the end of the bucks, but then really get cracking on the does. So that is deer management and there's plenty of those going about. So hopefully, yeah, yeah, we'll get some more podcasts out, some more exciting feet, uh, interviews, and we'll take it from there. But anyway, thanks for listening and speak to you soon.