[00:00:00] Hi, and welcome to social work sorted the podcast. I'm Vicki Shevlin. I host this podcast and I run social work sorted as an online platform for newly qualified social workers. Three social work sorted. I won this podcast. I have an Instagram page. Uh, website blogs. I provide guides live masterclasses on CPD accredited training for new social workers that is available to universities and organizations. 

If you are new to this podcast, then welcome. It is lovely to have you here. And if you are a regular listener, is Jose lovely talking to him. I'm very, very grateful for your support of this podcast. If you find it helpful, useful for practice or preparation for practice, 

then it makes such a difference. If you could take a couple of seconds to leave a rating and, or a review. 

 It allows me to understand what I need to make more of, to help and support you. 

this is going to be going to be a short episode where I'm just going to really [00:01:00] sort of reflect out loud, I think. And I'm going to maybe do a few more of these reflective style episodes. If you get something from them. So do let me know, but this was inspired by a question that I was asked on Instagram. 

I put out a question box and asked you to tell me. 

About your biggest challenge for the week ahead and quite a few of you gave similar responses, which were about dealing with difficult parents or dealing with difficult families that word difficult. Came up again. And again. And so the reflections I'm going to share. 

And not intended to minimize the questions that were asked, 

because what you are experiencing as newly qualified qualified social workers is valid. But what I really want to unpack is the way that we frame our questions and the language that we use and the impact of using a word like difficult uh, whether we are conscious or unconscious of it to label a child or an adult or a family. 

So, if that resonates with you, if one of the challenges for you is [00:02:00] framed in your head as. You know, dealing with, or trying to manage a difficult person or a difficult family. I want you to take some time, either just listening to this and thinking it through or writing down. What does difficult mean for you? So what is it about this person's behavior or their actions or things that they are saying? 

That is difficult. And the reason I'm asking you to do that is because that will help you find solutions. If we just stop at this word difficult and stay stuck without one word about one label. It doesn't do much by way of helping us. unpick 

How we can find ways around it. It also means that we are. Again, whether we are highly conscious of it or not, we are attaching a label to that person. Which will stick with them in our mind. But also if we start to describe that person to people in the office to other people that are working with them, 

As difficult. It will [00:03:00] influence other people's perspective of them. So really break down those definitions of what is difficult. Sometimes it is that somebody is not letting you in their home. It might be that somebody is not speaking to you in a particular way. It might be that somebody is avoiding you. 

Ignoring your phone calls. It might be that somebody is outwardly challenging you or asking you lots of questions or asking you for lots of evidence for different things. Once you break it down, those things are much easier to manage than as just saying, oh, well they're just difficult. 

And when you actually reflect on what it is that is making the person seem difficult to you. You will notice that they are just responses. And. 

We all respond to things in different ways, but in the context of social work, Some of those responses are completely understandable. . 

They are responses that occur because of trauma because of fear because of. Intergenerational trauma contact with social workers. Perspectives of social [00:04:00] work, and that is the benefit of you taking the time to really work out what it is that you are trying to describe. Describe

The next thing I want you to reflect on is to think about a time when you might have been seen as difficult, whether that is within a work environment, 

there might be times where you can reflect that you might have been seen as a difficult customer. I just want you to really be self-reflective not self-critical. And think about that. You know, for me, I think about times when I've been at my children's nurseries and I might well have been perceived as a difficult parent, I might been asking lots of different questions about certain things. 

There might be times where I've been a difficult customer. You know, 

when I've been sat on the end of a phone on hold for however long, and then somebody finally picks up and I haven't been as friendly as I could be. They could definitely perceive me to be a difficult customer on that day. And. Once you've thought about that [00:05:00] scenario. Really reflect on, well, what was happening for you at that time? And how were you feeling? 

Because we can then in some way, start to build. our empathy, and, when you are stressed, when you are overwhelmed, when you have a million things today, And somebody is presenting an obstacle to a task that you need to complete, or is being resistant to something that you are trying to do. It will feel difficult, but it's about separating what they are doing or the actions they are taking. 

From the person that they are. I'm really stepping back to unpack, well, why might that be happening for them? Or why might they be choosing to do that? Are they choosing to do that to be actively difficult? Or is it a response to so many other things that happen in around them? 

Well, I don't want you to do is listen to this and think, oh no, I'm a terrible social worker because I've been incorrectly labeling people because setting with [00:06:00] blame and shame for the way that you. 

 Talk about people will not be helpful for you. The purpose of me asking these questions is to support you in reflecting. Reflecting on the language that you use out loud, the language that you use in your head. And the way that can influence you and other people around you. The words that we use associate powerful, and sometimes we just need to step back. 

From the question that we are asking and see if we can reframe it in a certain way. 

I also share the, I have absolutely labeled people as difficult in the past. I have described people as difficult. I've described families as difficult. That has become a narrative for me that I have perpetuated. So I am rarely sharing this from a place of, I have done this to. And I've been fortunate enough to have people around me. In my career, every stage in my career. Who have supported me to unpick those labels. And that is what I want to offer you. In [00:07:00] this little episode. If this was helpful for you, then do let me know, and I will do more to support you in terms of these reflective. 

Episodes. 

And if there's anything else that you would like me to cover. In this podcast in blogs on Instagram, then all you have to do is reach out my details, are all in the show notes. 

As I always do now, I invite you. To slow down for just a couple of seconds. 

Focus on your breath. 

Close your eyes. If it feels comfortable for you. And you're not too worried that you're gonna fall asleep. As sometimes happens with me. And. Just enjoy. A little pause. In your day. 

No, that you can come back to this. At any time. 

No, that you can come back to this the next time. A label [00:08:00] or a descriptive word pops up in your conversations. To really step back. 

And be reflective on it. 

Thank you so much for listening and take care.