Ep. 48 Jillian Bice

On this episode I am joined by Jillian Bice. Jillian is a personal growth mentor and is the CEO of Quantum Lifestyle Consulting. She is a former registered nurse and sales trainer, and backed by decades of knowledge of human potential and growth, she facilitates a 6 month online course called Thinking Into Results, taught by Bob Proctor of the Proctor Gallagher Institute.

We talk about how Jillian had reached a place in her life where she was burned out and it took her version of rock bottom before she decided that she had to make a change and started on her journey to create a different path and was inspired to help others as well. She works on helping others clarify their goals, understand what controls your results and then to take action to get to where you want to go. 

Jillian Bice | PERSONAL GROWTH MENTOR (@quantumlifestyleconsulting) • Instagram photos and videos
Coming Soon (dynamitelifestyle.com)

Filled Up Cup - Unconventional Self Care for Modern Women
Ashley (@filledupcup_) • Instagram photos and videos

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the filled up cup podcast. We are a different kind of self-care resource one that has nothing to do with bubble baths and face masks and everything to do with rediscovering yourself. We bring you real reviews, honest experiences and unfiltered opinions that will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly, leave you with a filled up cup.

Ashley: 0:33

I am very excited. I have Jillian Bice joining me. Jillian is a CEO mindset mentor. Her business is quantum lifestyle consulting. Thank you so much for joining me tonight.

Jillian: 0:44

Thank you so much for having me, Ashley. I'm really happy to be here.

Ashley: 0:47

Can you tell everybody what quantum lifestyle consulting is?

Jillian: 0:51

Yeah, absolutely. So I am a mindset mentor. And what that means is that I help people, particularly women who are sort of in midlife. I help them figure out where they are, where they want to be. What's holding them back. What's blocking them what their limit. What's keeping them stuck and I help them move through that. the name quantum in quantum lifestyle consulting is the concept of taking a quantum leap. You know, when you hear about quantum physics, the theory of quantum leaps is that you are going from one place, like a particle goes from one place to another, with the least amount of energy and in the quickest time possible. So that is the concept in our lives that is your objective is to take quantum leaps. I mean, ideally you're able to get where you want to be with the least. Energy expenditure. I don't mean like in terms of being lazy, but I mean, in terms of being smart with how you're using your energy and getting there in the quickest time possible.

Ashley: 1:54

I think that we have this myth that when we get to a certain point that we're gonna have it all figured out and it's like, we'll be quote, unquote, grownups, which I don't know that we a hundred percent always feel like we have it figured out. And then it's like this idea of what do we actually wanna do? What do we wanna spend our time with? Especially if you've got to the point where maybe you chose a career that you don't really love, or you have kids and maybe they're moving out and getting to actually plan what you want to do.

Jillian: 2:25

exactly. The cool thing about that and the good news is you can do anything. You can literally do anything within the bounds of nature, obviously, but you can do anything. I always tell clients that. The resources are there, the opportunities are there, the potential, is there the only thing that's stopping you is you, so everything else is in place. Sometimes people will say, well, I don't know about that. I don't see the resources. Where's the money gonna come from? Let's say to open my own business or to travel around the world, or not believing you've got the potential, but those three things are always there. The opportunity, the resources, the potential, the thing that's stopping you is you.. And when I say that about resources or opportunities being there, I think everybody can think of a time where they have taken a step out and done something they were afraid to do, or they've had a conversation with somebody. So if I just give an example, let's say okay, here's a great example, actually, that's happening right now. My daughter is going away to university in Europe and she's going to be staying in a town that I've never heard of. In the beginning, you think, okay, this is a big deal. How's that gonna work out? And it seems like every time I talk to somebody, somebody says to me, oh my God, that's so funny. My friend lives in that town every year, she spends three months in the summer. She can hook you up with all these people. And then somebody else said, oh, I'm gonna be over there. The resources, you don't often see them when you're thinking about an idea, but when you take that first step or when you start having conversations around it, then stuff. Comes outta the woodwork where people will say things like, oh, that's so interesting. I used to do that. Or I have a friend that's done that, or I can introduce you to this person, but if you didn't take that first step and start having those conversations, then all those resources that are kind of out there lurking around, you would never ever know about. So you have to trust the fact that the resources are all there. You just need to start taking action. And they will start to show up. There's limitless opportunities in the world. I don't mean this, like an, a pie in the sky way. They are out there. I'll often say to clients as well, if they have a big goal that they're afraid to go after, because it seems like it. Crazy. I was talking to a woman recently who wants to quit her job and start her own business. She wants to open a flower shop and she was thinking, you know, this is nuts. How am I gonna afford this? And how my friends are gonna think I'm crazy. And I couldn't do that. And I'm too old and all that stuff. I said to her, and I say this to people often, if you can see anybody else has done this thing, that's proof to you. It's not impossible. Right. You can do this. So. The biggest thing. When I say the only thing that's holding you back is you. That is that voice in your head. And this is the mindset piece. This is the piece that I work with with people. It's that voice in your head? It's in our subconscious, it's your paradigm. It's your self image. It's your beliefs. It's like your programming. If you're considering yourself to be like an iPhone, It's that voice whose job is to keep you in the comfort zone. It's that voice that says you're too old. What are people gonna think? You can't do that to your family? What are your friends gonna say? How are you gonna afford to do that? You start to retreat back and your dreams, and then another year goes by damnit. I still wanna do that thing. I still wanna open that flower shop or move to Europe or whatever it is, right. That voice in your head that holds you back don't let the word programming freak you out. Cause it's not like programming programming brainwashy, but it's the way it's just sort of the best word to use. It's the way we're conditioned. We have these beliefs about what we're able to do and their just beliefs and beliefs can be changed. That's the part that I work on with people and help them change those beliefs and is a way of doing it so that you are able to go out and do the things. You really want to do?

Ashley: 6:05

How would you recommend if somebody is like, okay, I feel stuck. I know what I'm doing. I don't wanna do, how do they find what they do wanna do and get inspired in that way?

Jillian: 6:20

That's a really good question because sometimes people know and oftentimes they have no idea. All they are starting with is just this feeling of something under the surface. It's just yearning to come out and they just just know they're unhappy. They know their feelings. Stuck they're they're feeling rudderless. I always use that word because you're kind of going around in circles, not knowing. So in the program that I mentor people through, it's a six month program and the first two weeks is actually spent on looking at. What it is you really want to do and peeling back all the layers, because like I say, oftentimes people don't know or they might think they know, but after you go through this two weeks of peeling back layers, you realize, wow, it's really this other thing. That's really big. That's buried deep down inside me. Sometimes I'll say to people, if they don't know what it is, They're really stuck with coming up with that, then we'll start with, well, what don't you want? You know, so if you imagine you're like in a year, from now or two years from now, your ideal life, what does that look like? Sometimes people say, I have no idea, so we'll just start with what don't you want it to be like? And they'll say, you know, oh, I don't wanna be in this job anymore. I don't wanna. Living in this community anymore, or I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be this sort of fitness level. So you can start from the opposite and kind of narrow it down that way as well. it is the absolute fundamental key starting point to know what it is that you want and to figure out what that is. It's just like GPS in a car. You've gotta plug in the location, your destination. And then you gotta get moving towards it. That's so key. Just get in your car and start to drive, because if you plug in the address and you sit there, you're not gonna ever get there. Right. You've gotta plug in to your mind there's lots of different ways of doing it and lock in on that destination of where you want to go. We all have this thing inside us, this yearning for this thing that we're meant to be this thing that we're meant to do. It's like what your purpose is or your passion is right. Once you lock into that and you kind of become laser focused on that, you can base all your decisions around getting there. So when you're going through your day, you're thinking, is this conversation gonna. Serve me. It's gonna get me closer to my goal is taking this job, gonna get me closer to the goal. Is this relationship with this person getting me closer to the goal once you know what that destination is, that's just so important to you. Everything will start to line up. You just choose the way you think and you behave to get you towards that destination. But like I say taking action is absolutely paramount.

Ashley: 9:07

It's like we have this fear of failure or this fear of, what if I don't figure it out or whatever the case might be. And I think it's the most important thing is just to try. I think we have this myth that we have to be one special thing or one special passion. We really can, find joy in this experience and then in that experience. So I think it's also, we get this mindset of it has to just be this one thing where we can, you know, do a job for 20 years. We can travel for. Two years and then find a different job. We can always be learning and experiencing.

Jillian: 9:47

Absolutely. And that in itself can be a goal that my goal is to follow my nose essentially, is to do what I want to do. And if that means that next year, I want to go. Traveling around the world or it means I want to open a flower shop. Awesome. That's what I'm going to do. So my goal is to do what I want to do. That can be a goal. you would make it sort of more specific than that, but that can be absolutely a goal. I am a huge advocate for, and I call it following your nose and that's trusting your gut we all know what that feels like, because we've all done that in certain times of our life, where you've gone with your instinct, with your gut. If you think about the moment you're born, you have unlimited potential and you still have unlimited potential as an adult, but over the years from the time you're born going through your childhood and your teenage years and your adulthood. Layers and layers of conditioning get put on you is habits. It's beliefs, whether it's political beliefs, religious beliefs, culture, beliefs, whatever they are. And self-image, self-image, you know, what you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself and that's from experiences you've had growing up and all those habits, beliefs, self-image kind of picture it like, like these blankets that are getting piled up on top of your unlimited potential. That unlimited potential, never ever goes away. It just gets kind of buried in all this stuff. When you were just saying now about you know, if you wanted to do a certain thing and you kind of feel afraid to do it, that is the voice in the head that, and once you go through like the program that I facilitate, for example, or any kind of mindset awareness, you start to understand, oh, that's that voice, and that voice has been installed in there through conditioning, right? Like if you're growing up, if you're told don't talk to strangers, which is probably a good thing to be told when you're growing up. Right. Or anything that you're told growing up, you're told like politically that anyone that believes in that, political party is a jerk and these guys are all great. You get these beliefs installed in you, but they're just beliefs. When you have a fear that comes up, that you're afraid to do something that is a belief that's been installed and it can be replaced. It can be replaced with a different belief around that. That is a way to deal with fear that comes up and fear comes up all the time for people. Fear is a really, really good thing. And I say, it's good because it is a sign that you are growing out of your comfort zone. You are trying to expand. If you stay in your comfort zone, the risk of doing that is you'll get to the end of your days and you'll look back and you'll say, damnit, why didn't I take that trip around the world when I was like 45 or 50 or whatever, why didn't I open that flower shop? I could have done it. And now I can't, I could have done it damnit like you do not want to get to the end of your days and look back and just think I could have done that. I wish I'd done that. Once you understand that that fear that you feel is just a belief that's installed in there over years, then you start to understand, okay. So if that got put in there and it gets put in there through repetition, you know, you hear the same things over and over again, you start to believe them. You can replace it with the same thing with repetition of the opposite thing. I'm courageous. I can do anything. I can do this. I can travel around the world. You install a new belief and it's kinda like you push out your place, the old belief, the limiting belief

Ashley: 13:09

aside from sort of replacing that negative voice with a positive one. What are some other ways that we can shift our mindset to make it so that you're excited to make changes instead of hesitant to make them

Jillian: 13:24

so really key with the excited about making the change is that, that beginning piece where you are identifying, what is it that I really want? Once you identify that, How do I really want my life to look and that's in all levels, you know, relationships, finance, career, health, and fitness. How do I spend my time? What is my lifestyle? Over that two week period, you'll come out with a script it's like a, script of, it's like your goal script of how do you want your life to be on all those different levels? When you've put that much work into really drilling down and identifying what that is, you can't help, but be excited about it. It's just like you get this fire in your belly and you're really excited about it. So that's sort of your beginning part. But then you've gotta do all the work on the replacing the limiting beliefs. And that's what starts to come up next. So when you identify what it is you want, and you've got this full color picture, one of the key things to do is to distill that down to a little brief paragraph that you read every day I have mine on recording. I listen to it all the time, so it keeps it top of mind and it really gets sort of stuck into you. You start your day with that, thinking about it and visualizing it. When I say the piece about taking action, being so key, it is so true that you know, visualizing is great. It's awesome. It's super important. But if you don't take action, then you're not gonna get anywhere. It's not gonna come flying through the window at you, but when you are. In that head space of the life that you want of what your goal is, and you're really sort of soaking in it. You're really getting in the feeling of it. You will start to get ideas that are on that wavelength, let's say, right, that are on that frequency. They're in that. But if you're thinking from lack and limitation, if you're thinking like I couldn't do this, I could never do this. You're probably not gonna gonna get many ideas. But when you're thinking, and you're really feeling the feeling of having that goal, and you've got that excitement. Ideas will start to come to you. It's like inspired ideas will start to come to you. Those are the ideas to act on. So let's say for example, if one of my goals was to travel around the world next year, let's say, and if I know exactly what it looks like, I can see myself at the airport. I could see myself with my bags. I can see myself with my itinerary and I'm flying on the plane. I'm landing in some place, if you really get into it. When you get into that feeling of it let's say a thought comes to my mind where I think to myself oh, Hey, you know, I should look into I remember there was a travel group that I had heard about and they were looking for guides and I should reach out to them and see if maybe they need some guides, because I've been to some parts of the world before that I really love. Maybe I could do that. Like, that's kind of an inspired idea. So if I was sitting here on my couch thinking, oh, I could never travel around the world. I don't know how I could do it. It'll never happen for me. It happens by the people about, for me, blah, blah. I'll probably never get that idea. Like, Hey, contact this tour group and see if they need a guide. So that's what I mean about really getting in the feeling of how it would feel to be in that place, in that goal achieved. And then ideas will come to you that are in harmony with that place. And then you act on those ideas and you act on them right away, or as quickly as you can, you get up and you pick up the phone, you phone that company and say, Hey, I remember reading last year, you're looking for travel guides. Are you still looking for some or whatever it is, you'll also be carried along that wave of good feeling too, when you're in the, feeling of your goal, and it'll give you more courage than if you were sitting on a couch thinking, oh, I can never do this. This will never happen for me. You don't have a lot of courage, but when you're really like up and into the feeling of your goal, you can take action more easily and still scary, but it's easier to do.

Ashley: 17:07

I think in some ways that's the piece, like from years ago that booked the secret mm-hmm, sort of set people up where they gave them half the tools where they were like visualize and really, you know, narrow down what you want, but it was kind of like, and then you sit around and it will just come flying through, right. That we really missed out on the step of taking that action and putting yourself in a position of getting the opportunity you want. So like with your example, Say you go on the trip and then you make the call of, oh, Hey, I'm here. Do you have any yeah. Or looking at it as you know, I'm here and Hey, I know a flight from my house to Italy is X amount of dollars, but if I'm already in Europe, Hey, I probably could bop over there on a ferry or a train or whatever for half the price and giving yourself situations where it doesn't seem as hard as it would be sitting on your couch.

Jillian: 18:04

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's interesting, I'm glad you brought up this secret too Ashley, because there were some really, really good parts to that, but that's exactly right. That extra piece about the taking action wasn't as clear as it could have been, there is a really important line in there that a guy said, and I can't remember what his name is now, but. His word was thoughts, become things. You hear that often in the secret and in other things too. I remember when I heard that, I thought, oh yeah, right. And a lot of people thought, oh yeah, right. But now that I understand how it works, it's actually true, except there's a couple steps in between. So thoughts become things the way in the program that I facilitate people through, you learn how. The simplest way to put it is your thoughts in your mind cause you to feel a certain way, when you feel a certain way, you behave a certain way and your action causes a result. So you think a thought, you feel a feeling, you take action. From that feeling. And that's the result you get. A simple example would be, if you were, let's say you're going into a meeting and there's a bunch of people you've never met before. If you're thinking the thought of, oh my God, I hate meeting new people I just feel so uncomfortable. I really don't like this and that's the thought you're thinking. And then you start to feel a feeling. You start to feel nervous. You start to feel lack of confidence. You start to feel uncomfortable, and then you go into that room. And the action you take is probably. Not much eye contact, kind of that wet fish handshake. You don't really have much conversation. That's your action. And the result is gonna be, you know, you didn't make any key connections with your networking. But on the opposite side, if you're the, oh yeah, awesome. I gonna meet some new people. I love meeting new people and this is gonna be a great meeting tonight. There's some people I really wanna connect with there. So that's your thinking. That makes you feel a certain way. You're feeling in that scenario is you're feeling confident. You're feeling excited, you're feeling positive. So that causes you to behave in a certain way. Your feeling makes you behave and your behavior in that case is gonna be you've got a great handshake. You're having great conversations and making lots of connections. So your result is you've made great connections and you've made some new friends and your business might do better because you've made these connections. If it's a networking thing, right. So that's a really simple example. So thoughts to become things. It happens in everything we do in life. The one piece that needs to be added in there as well in the feeling side of things is everything is also filtered through that lens of our self image and our beliefs and our habits, too, that paradigm that I was talking about. So that will also limit what we're able to do. But you think a thought you feel a feeling you take action from that feeling, and then you get your results.

Ashley: 20:39

Which I love how simple that you made that seem. Mm-hmm because I think it is one of those things that when we hear thoughts become things, we overthink it or we overcomplicate it. I feel like more often than not, people are so hesitant to ask for more information or to seek it out because that ego gets in the way. And then we're afraid that we're gonna seem stupid or we worry about other people. I love the fact that it can be as simple as like, whether it's positive or negative. It's I think it, I feel it. And then it goes from there. So I really, you take action. Yeah. I think that putting it into those terms makes it so much easier to understand, and for people to actually. Make the choice, cuz I feel like when we decide we're gonna do something, whether it's good or bad, it's almost walking through it in an experiential way. How is this gonna look for me? What's this experience gonna be like? I feel like it helps us decide, you know, almost like a risk reward thing. Is this gonna be worth stepping outta my comfort zone to try this new situation? Or am I going to. Be too scared or bomb this or whatever it is, and I'm just gonna stay in my comfort zone. So I think it really does help, you know, put that mindset into perspective. Although my advice would always be, you know, take the leap and try it no matter what, because No is not as scary as I think we try to make it out to be

Jillian: 21:58

mm-hmm Absolutely. the resources that come into into play, when you take that leap, you would never have known were there if you hadn't done that and they are out there and what's the worst thing that can happen. Right. It comes down to, again, you know, you're looking back in your life and you're thinking, damn it, why didn't I do that when I could have done that? The cool thing about this, you think it, you feel it, you act it, you get the result is that you are. Completely in the driver's seat of your thoughts. We are all in charge of our thoughts. Nobody can make you think a certain way. So we are really in the driver's seat, but we run kind of on this default all the time. We just are habitual beings and our habits aren't always serving us. Like, if you're a procrastinator or whatever it is, right. We kind of run on autopilot and we are often controlled by what's going on in the outside world as well. You see something on the news or you hear somebody say something or you read something and that stuff going on in the outside makes you feel a certain way, which makes you act a certain way, which gives you your result. I said at someone the other day, I love this analogy. It was like, if you've got dial on your heart and if you turn the dial up, you feel good. You turn the dial down, you don't feel so good. You want to be the person who is in charge of that dial on your heart. So when you are thinking your thoughts yourself, when you're in charge of your thinking, You are turning that dial up or down. Like if I'm thinking about my goal, it's like that dial is going up and I'm feeling really good. And if I choose to think something really depressing, then my dial's gonna go down. But if somebody says something to you, or if you read something or hear something on the news, and if that makes you feel badly, it's like that person, like if somebody cuts you off in traffic and gives you the finger, let's say, and that can make you feel really frustrated or angry. It's like that person's reached in and put their hand on your dial and they've turned your dial down and they've caused you to feel a certain way, which is gonna make you behave a certain way, which is gonna give you a certain result. Right? So what you want to do is be always be in charge of that dial. Even if someone cuts you off and gives you the finger or whatever they do, that's fine. That's a fact. And if you can keep that as just a simple fact, but you just protect your dial. Don't let that person turn your dial down and make you feel a certain way and act a certain way and like chase after them and whatever, and swear at them, you stay in charge of your own dial and you're responding instead of reacting. So always keeping in mind and it's easier said than done for sure. But keeping in mind that you are always in charge of your thoughts, but we just run on default all the time. It's just the way we are as humans, cuz we're busy. So we just sort of default to our habits. And our typical behaviors. When you look at the think, feel, act, get your result. When I work with people, when you set your goal, which is the result you want, we reverse engineer. And by that, I mean, if this is what your goal is, so let's say it's a health and fitness goal. That's something that most people can relate to as well. So I want to exercise five times a week. I want my weight to be this. I want my fitness to be this level. So if you're looking at that as your goal, so you're reverse engineer, you go back to okay. If I am that, how have I behaved? So I've probably behaved this way. I've gone to the gym, I've eaten this way or whatever. If I behave that way, what was I feeling in order to make me behave that way? And from the feeling piece, going back to the beginning, what thoughts did? I think that made me feel that way. So the thoughts that you think that make you feel that way, that make you behave the way that gives you that outcome of your health and fitness. So you just go through that same chain, thoughts, feelings, actions, result, but you go through it backwards. Okay. So my result, I want this, how did I behave to get there? How did I feel to make that behavior? What thoughts did I think to make me feel that way? And so you go through a whole process of putting that together and that's kind of in a nutshell of how the process flows. So there's some in depth steps in between there as well, like with the feeling part and the self image.

Ashley: 25:51

I like looking at it from different perspectives and looking at it sort of from the, end goal backwards, because I think too, we do talk ourselves into things being more overwhelming or more complicated than they need to be. That sometimes it really is taking it down to like more simplistic mm-hmm that it's like it can be, I sleep eight hours a night. I. Try to eat more vegetables. I try to drink more water. I, find a different wayI like moving my body and really factor into that feeling and sort of an easy thought process instead of it having to be like one to a hundred and making it seem very overwhelming.

Jillian: 26:34

Yeah, absolutely. That is so key too, Ashley, that it is super simpler. The concept is so, so basic. We do like to try and complicate things, but we don't need to, it is such a simple concept. It's not something that happens overnight. When people come into my program, I, Only bring in people who are committed, who are super serious. It's not somebody who says, well, you know, I'm kind of, interested in this. Yeah. I'll take a look at this. it's kinda waste of their time to do it. It's a waste of my time to do it. If somebody is committed and that's the person who is, like, I am. Done. Another, year's gone by, I'm still stuck in this place. I'm still unhappy. And especially in midlife, we've got chapters closing, we've got empty nest, we've got divorce, we've got career changes. We oftentimes have friends who are getting serious illnesses or we get them ourselves. We've got friends who may even be dying and we are starting to realize our mortality as well. We're realizing the preciousness and the finiteness of our lives. There are a lot of people out there who are at that point of I'm done. I am committed to making this change. Anybody can do this. That's what I love about this as well, is that it doesn't matter how rich or poor, or how young or old or educated or uneducated or where you live. I don't care what your backstory is. We are all as human beings with unlimited potential and a yearning inside us to do something. So if you have that commitment and that desire, that you just you can't keep it down anymore, but you don't know what to do with it. It's ideal for somebody like that. To actually do the work and the reward of having a meaningful life is invaluable. The other thing is that I think is really important to mention is that when you are focusing on yourself and going after what it is that you really want to do to have a full life, it is good for everybody in your world, your family, your friends. People that are important to you. It's good for everybody. Everybody benefits it's not a selfish thing. It is a good thing. It's very, very good for you as well. as far as we know, you've got your one life to live here, right? So you owe it to yourself to do the very best you can and to let your yearnings out, figure out what they are and to, to let them out

Ashley: 28:49

Once you. Go down that path of like, I wanna do whatever goal it is. I'm determined. I'm excited. I love this. As selfish as that mindset can be in the moment, especially if you're a parent that mommy guilt comes in, whatever, I feel like the positive side of it is so contagious and spreads to so many people in your life that it's like, not only are you lifting yourself, but you also have the potential to lift other people around you as well. Mm-hmm and I do think it's really important. We do also touch on the fact that, like you said, it's not necessarily a speedy process. Like you have to still be willing to do the work and it isn't just I have this great idea. Boom, I'm changed. Like it's such a right. Not straight path, but there is a lot of hard work that comes into it. Sometimes people get lost in the hard work or think that it's gonna come easier change, takes time.

Jillian: 29:45

Yeah. Change. Definitely. Time, dedication, commitment, deep desire. But when you balance that and I've lived through all this myself, I have been stuck. I have been really stuck and that's how I got involved in this myself. But when I weigh all the hard work that I have done to get to where I am through this process. When I weigh that with where I was for years of being stuck, I would take this a thousand times without a doubt. The other thing, you know, with moms, with kids, when you are living this way in a happy way, when you are. Living the life that you are meant to be living, you are role modeling for your children. A very positive thing, because the opposite of that is your children learning that you have to do. What, other people expect of you, you know, stay in this job, even though it's making you nuts, you can't stand it or, whatever the thing may be. I don't mean that, with the traveling around the world idea, I don't mean ditch your kids and go backpacking for year on your own. That's not what I mean at all. I mean, if that's what you wanna do, you can do it later in your life because you've got a responsibility to your children a hundred percent. But when you are showing your children, That you can follow the path that makes your heart full. When you are doing that, you will be successful. I dont just mean successful monetarily, I mean, successful in your life, with your happiness and, when you're doing that, that's a great thing to model for your children and your happiness will fill their little hearts as well. Everybody that's in your life. So I mean, there's nothing but good that can come from this because the opposite is that feeling of frustration, rudderless, that life is passing you by and you're not happy that you're unhappy.

Ashley: 31:37

Can you explain a little bit more about the different services that you offer and different ways that people can work with you??

Jillian: 31:46

It's one program that I facilitate people through and the program is called thinking into results. It's a program that I went through as well, I had been stuck. for quite a few years. It's the same story of, you know, not happy with career, not happy with relationship. There were lots of things that were not right. I was ignoring all of the yellow lights and ignoring all the red lights and just sweeping things under the carpet. Another year would go by and I'd still feel the same way. I wasn't doing anything about it. I finally had this rock bottom moment in the underground parking at IGA at the grocery store just before Christmas time. I had broken my leg. I'd fallen off my bike and I was crying cuz I had an argument with my daughter and. My marriage was so unhappy. There was so much that was wrong. We'd driven to IGA. I drove her because she only had her L and I had this cast on my leg, but I just wanted to get outta the house. I looked like a complete mess and we were in the park gate at IGA and it's underground. I said, you go upstairs. I'm just gonna stay here in the car. I was just so upset and she got upstairs and I thought, oh, darn it. I need cream for my coffee. So I tried to phone her. I couldn't get cell reception and it had been raining. So the parking was wet and I thought, okay, if I get outta my car with my phone, I can get to that wall and I can get cell reception and call her. I look like a mess cause I've been crying and my hair was everywhere. I had these crazy comfy clothes on because I was home with this broken leg and I got outta the car with my crutches and. Looking like a mess and being so unhappy, like deeply unhappy in so many different levels for so long in my life. I was walking towards the wall to get cell reception and this man walked past me and he looked at me and in this flash across his face, he had this look on his face that said how pathetic? That was the look when he looked at me and I was like, somebody punched me in the gut, cuz I was always proud of myself and my appearance and whatever. All of a sudden that moment I thought to myself, I will never ever let myself be here again. Ever. And when I heard myself say that to myself, I'll never let myself be here again. It was like a light going on where I thought, okay, hang on. I will never let myself be here. That means that I let myself get here. That means that I'm responsible for where I am. Oh my God. If I made all these choices that have brought me where I am, that means I can choose my way out. I can make all these decisions. It was just the most unbelievable. It was like, literally like the sky opened up and the sun came out and it was like, oh my God, like, stick me in the driver's seat. I'm driving myself out of this life that I've gotten myself into and I'm taking my girls with me and everything changed from that moment. I pulled up my Oprah and my Deepak Chopra and all that stuff, and I loved them, but I knew I needed a deeper dive. And I knew about Bob Proctor. He was actually in the secret. I loved him. I followed him for years. I knew he had this program. So I looked into it and it's the program that I now facilitate The six month program. Cause I knew I needed a deep dive. I really love the way he teaches cuz he's very practical about the thinking and the taking action side so I took the course, but I also knew at the beginning of the course that there was the opportunity to be trained, to be a facilitator as well. So I did that along with taking the course. I went to the training program as well to become a consultant with the company. And so went through the program, loved it so much, and my whole life changed. I got a divorce. I sold our house. We moved, I quit my job. I started a business within a year because I was so ready and I understood how my mind worked. I understood how my voice in my head that's telling me, you can't do this. What are people gonna think? Blah, blah, blah. I learned how to quiet that voice. I learned what that voice is and what its role is and how I can pass it, how I can work towards what I really want. So that's what I help people with when they sign up for the program in six months. in a nutshell, how the program itself works six month program, there are 12 modules. Each module is two weeks each and people do a discovery call. Typically with me beforehand. It's a free discovery call where we talk about where are you? Where do you wanna be? What do you think is holding you back? Why is it important to you to be where you want to be? Then I explain how I work with the program and how I can help people through to get from where they are to where they really wanna be. The program itself is all online and self-directed. It's about an hour to an hour and a half a day for the six months. Every Monday I do a zoom meeting with my clients and that zoom meeting reviews. We talk about that two week lesson we have teaching and every Wednesday I do a Q&A, so there's two days a week where you've got me on zoom for an hour each time. The remainder of the time is up to you to do your hour to hour and a half a day work. That can be done at any time during the day that that suits your schedule. You gotta be pretty good at being independent at doing the work in terms of your sort of work during the week. But then the meetings are that twice a week if somebody needs to call me one on one, they can do that as well.

Ashley: 36:42

I like that. It gives them the flexibility of having the ownership of being able to do it online, but will also having the connection of having an actual person so that they have that. Accountability piece

Jillian: 36:55

totally. And the accountability piece is so key for all of us. I need to have somebody keep me accountable too, because we're human. Right. It's easy to slip sometimes. So the accountability piece is really important, but the other piece I really love is when the zoom meetings are with the group. People learn from each other. There's a certain kind of an energy in that kind of a, conversation where particularly with the Q and A's on Wednesdays where people are asking questions that somebody else might not have even thought of. So they're learning from that. There's just a different kind of an energy with the group being there and it also is really a great feeling for people going through the program when they can see other people who are in a similar situation as they are, and they can think, oh, yay. Somebody else is stuck. Just like me. So I'm not so unusual or I'm not so abnormal. Like there's other people who are like me and that's so key to have that feeling of community. Right. And it's nice to see people progress through as well and to see them doing well.

Ashley: 37:50

I think sometimes in our regular lives, if we make a change to do something, sometimes that can be hard for other people. So I think that community piece would be huge because you do wanna feel supported. Mm-hmm you do wanna feel like you're with the like-minded people.

Jillian: 38:04

Yep. Definitely definitely. Something that, I had sort of touched on earlier that I think is really important when people are feeling like it's something that they can't do, there's just no way that it's even possible. They're too old or whatever it may be. When I say to them, but looking at somebody else in their community, and maybe not even the community could be on TV. It could be in a book, whatever. There are people out there who have done the thing that you are wanting to do without a doubt, there would be, unless it's something like completely wild, like have your Elon Musk, you're gonna go to Mars or something like that, but otherwise, right. There's somebody else who's done it. And that is proof for you. The other thing that I have people do, and I've done this myself and I love this and I still do this is, and I'll always do this. I have a list of really difficult things that I have gone through in my life. You know, I like my dad dying, which was horrible and I'm a cancer survivor. That was horrible. There are all these things. I have a list of things that I have survived. That were very challenging. And every time I'm faced with something, now that I feel like, oh my God, there's no way I could do this. How could I do this? I look at that list and I think, oh, wow. Yeah, that's right. I survived this, I survived this. This was really hard. I survived that I can sure as hell, survived. This thing that's coming up. No problem at all. Right. So just a reminder to yourself and just love that. It's a reminder to yourself of all the difficult things. And we have all gone through hard stuff. All of us like. Heartbreaking things or scary things or terrifying, whatever it is. Right. You've all gone through stuff. So I highly recommend people just write little bullet points and I don't mean like take a bath in it and be like, oh my God, you know, like you're sort of admiring yourself in all this stuff all the time with this bad experiences. It's just like a little factual checklist that you can look at once in a while. Like, oh yeah. wow I'm really amazing. I'm really strong. I'm really resilient. I am like really couragous I've gone through all that. I can sure as hell do this. So that's a good little tip.

Ashley: 39:52

I love switching that mindset to it. Instead of I suffered with this it's I'm kick ass. I managed to do X, Y and Z and really give yourself that pat on the back, give yourself that grace of like, I can do hard things and I've done hard things. And, nothing's gonna break you down to a point that you. Maybe you can't get back up again. Like obviously there's different caveats to it, but for the most part, like we're resilient, we can get through hard things.

Jillian: 40:19

We are so resilient. We're so resilient and keeping in mind also that there's this sort of a thing called the law of opposites. It's this law of polarity it's called and, that there's an opposite for everything. We see that in our lives, like things are going rhythms where things seem be going really, really well. And then sometimes days can just not be going so well at all, but then they go, well again, and then sometimes they're not going so well. And then they go, well again, right. That's just the way life is. It's good to have the not so great moments too, because if you did not have those, when you have your good moments, you would never ever realize they were good moments because you'd have nothing to compare them to. Right. So if you look at it that where you think like, okay, this is like really bad, what I'm going through right now, but thank God it's here because a good thing's coming. When it gets here, I'll know it's good because I'll know. Compared to this it's it's the opposite, right? So that's just part of life and there are more hard times ahead, but when you know how to frame them in your mind, it becomes easier to manage them. And when you understand that they're important because they make you stronger. Like when you look back at the list of all the stuff you've gone through, which will make you able to go through the next scary stuff, therefore those scary things have made you strong. Then you realize, yeah, these hard times are good and they will end. They won't last forever.

Ashley: 41:36

I do think that's really important to remember, and I think that life would be so boring. If everything just went great all the time, thank you so much for having this conversation with me tonight. I really appreciate it. Can you let everybody know where they can find you online?

Jillian: 41:52

Yes. So my business is called quantum lifestyle consulting and quantum is Q U A N T U M. So quantum lifestyle consulting and I'm on Instagram at quantum lifestyle consulting as well. If anyone wants to book a discovery call there's no charge for that. They go onto my website and they can book there's a booking page there and just pop onto the calendar. And then you just book a call there. I'd love to talk to you and find out what's on your mind and then let you know how I work. Then we just go from there.

Ashley: 42:20

Thank you so much.

Jillian: 42:22

Thank you so much, Ashley. I really enjoyed talking to you.

42:27

Thank you so much for joining us today for this episode of the filled up cup podcast, don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a review. If you like what you hear, you can also connect with us@filledupcup.com. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.