Ep. 64 Alysha Wilson

This is one of the first podcasts I had recorded and was released a bit late because there are some issues with the sound. It was one of my favourite conversations so I really wanted to share so please bare with us for some of the sound quality.

On this episode I am joined by Alysha Wilson. Alysha is a women’s mindset coach, certified nutritionist, core + pelvic floor specialist, & holistic fitness coach with 10+ years experience working with thousands of women all over the world. She really believes in fitness at every size and has really tried to push for all bodies to be represented in advertising in this industry to help make the space welcoming for all. You can feel her care and kindness radiate from just having one conversation with her that I am so grateful women exist like this in the fitness industry so that more people can feel less judged for wanting to move their bodies.

In this episode we discuss Alysha's battles with eating disorders and disordered eating. We also discuss her decision to get her breast implants removed and what her explant experience was like.

The app that we talk about in this episode is now called Playbook and can be downloaded here:
Alysha Wilson - Nutritionist & Holistic Fitness Coach (playbookapp.io)
Alysha Wilson's Amazon Page
PN1–NC Nutrition | HOLISTIC FITNESS COACH (@alyshaawilson) • Instagram photos and videos

Filled Up Cup - Unconventional Self Care for Modern Women
Ashley (@filledupcup_) • Instagram photos and videos

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the filled up cup podcast. We are a different kind of self-care resource one that has nothing to do with bubble baths and face masks and everything to do with rediscovering yourself. We bring you real reviews, honest experiences and unfiltered opinions that will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly, leave you with a filled up cup.

Ashley: 0:32

I am very excited today. I have Alysha Wilson joining me. Alysha is the creator of the CruX fitness app. She's also been a master personal trainer, elite instructor, coach, and competitive athlete for over a decade. She specializes in prenatal and postpartum as well as wellness coaching for the modern day woman. Thank you for joining me today, Alysha.

Alysha: 0:56

Hi Ashley. I am so excited to chat with you today.

Ashley: 1:01

Can you explain a little bit about what CruX fitness app is? Is it something that is specifically just for women or do you work with both men and women?

Alysha: 1:11

I had definitely had experience in training men and women, but I found that my true passion really aligns with working with women. And to be completely honest, women are so much more fun to coach than men. sorry guys. I love the intelligence that women have. I also love the passion that women bring and you know, why I created Cru is really this end result of 10 years of being in the industry and seeing how the industry has evolved and changed. The industry has done some things the right way and the wrong way. And I really got to explore that in my. own career So Cru was this end result of me trying to break it down, making fitness and nutrition, really simple, easy to apply, but also really serving for women. I do think the fitness industry has been giving a disservice to women for a very long time. They've really only focused on static results of health and wellness and cru is that thing that merges them both together. It allows women to move their body in a way it is really great for aesthetic results, but also in a way that really serves them and makes them feel empowered and happy. And it's the same front with nutrition. So I feel like Cru is like this baby of mine that I've been carrying for 10 years. The pulse of this company is women. I've worked with almost thousands of women at this point. And every single woman that I've worked with has had an influence on this project and really how it's been conceptualized. I absolutely love working with women. It makes my job so fun and so different every single day. And luckily cru just gets to be another extension of that relationship.

Ashley: 2:58

I love that that it's women supporting women and really trying to create that knowledge and that safe space. Cause I think sometimes it can be so intimidating when it's. You know, you walk into a gym and it's, how can we, lose these pounds, but it's not really like, what are your goals? What do you actually want out of this? It really can be a hard, daunting place to start in a lot of times. I think whether it is that you want like an aesthetic look or it really is like, do I need to, work out mental things? Do I need to just move my body every day? So I love the fact that you offer sort of both, that it isn't just a come work out and get skinny mentality that I think a lot of trainers may be focused too hard on.

Alysha: 3:45

Exactly. I mean, you really hit the nail on the head there where I think women have evolved past the how can I change my body? Think we are finally stage so excited for this stage where we're like, how can I serve my body? How can I appreciate my body? All of the women that you see on cru are real life women, cuz it's very important for me for all bodies to be represented on our app and. I don't know who made the rules. That fitness has to look one way for everyone, but definitely we try to be a little disruptive to that. With everything that we do that, you know, fitness is for everyone and it doesn't have to look exactly like everyone else, it can really be on this individual level. And one of the reasons that all of our workouts on the app are built for body composition is so that everyone feels like one, they have a plan specifically catered for them. Two, they're gonna have a lot of success with that plan because it, once again is specifically created for their body composition and, three, everyone can feel. Like they can have a place to know exactly what to do for them, because so many times we try to put women in these boxes you know, like eat this way, work out this way. And if you're not getting results, it's just cuz you need to do it harder. When in fact you're probably not getting results because you're not really following something that was designed specifically in your goals in mind. So we try to really create a safe place for everyone. And you mentioned this before women are ready for this we have had enough of being put into a box. I think now we're just ready to create our own roles about our body, about our wellness and you know, fitness in general.

Ashley: 5:30

I love that you don't use. Specific models. I love that you use real people. Cause I think that is a, piece that's lacking as well. Is that if somebody isn't like a size two, they don't wanna feel like, oh my gosh, everybody here is a size two and I'm a size 10. And that must mean something about me or this must mean I don't belong here. So I love the fact that it's fitness for every body because I really do think there can be health at every size.

Alysha: 6:00

100% and, I think what's really important to understand is that I think prior in my industry, motivation has been really predetermined by an industry. When in fact there's nothing more motivating than seeing a person who encourages you to be yourself. For me, especially in my healing journey, I would always compare myself to bodies very, very different than mine naturally. And so I was always kind of frustrated and I was always like, never feeling good enough when a lot of it was, I just never really had. A body that I could look up to that was like mine. And so I think that's really, really powerful. And the more we have women step into the light and show diversity and variety, the more women are gonna be empowered. Right. So I do think there's a trickle down effect with that. That's so much bigger than what we realize.

Ashley: 6:56

I think that you nailed it basically when you were talking about the fact that a lot of the times, the people that we were, you know, given to look up to were either that they didn't look like that due to Photoshop, or were this very like waif sized, Kate Moss, very nineties aesthetic, where you had to be teeny, teeny, tiny, otherwise, everything like that was, considered a fat when that couldn't be farther from the truth. But I think it really did set us up to have a lot more body dysmorphia or a lot of feelings of being inadequate where now I think this body neutrality movement is gonna be really beneficial for the next generation or for just women in general.

Alysha: 7:41

Oh my gosh. Ashley. Yes, I. mean, we had waif thin and low rise jeans, and I see what the next generation of women are getting, which is still so much work needs to be done. But you can see the change and you can see the evolution. And I always say that for any woman who thinks that she's not making an influence cuz you know, we live in the day and age of social media and some women think, well I don't have tons of followers or I don't have, this big presence. Deciding that you are gonna serve your body is so influential. And when I see some of the young women that I work with as clients, or that I come across in my business, I just look at them in awe, because I'm like, you're so cool. Like I so wish I could have had that at that age. it's just exciting. And I think women were so hard on ourselves. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a little pat on the back. By like every time we accept ourselves, it allows another woman to maybe do the same thing for herself. So it's very. And also, I feel like, you know, which I'm not sure how old you are, Ashley, but I feel like we're around, around the same age. I'm 37. You're kind of like, I feel like, okay. Yeah. So. I feel like our generation is kind of like this catalyst of change for the climate. I guess if you will, of like how women are going to set boundaries for themselves, how they're gonna view yourself, how, you know, et cetera, et cetera. And so I'm really proud to kind of feel like our generation had a little bit to do with that. Right.

Ashley: 9:10

I definitely think that the current generation is learning from sort of our mistakes or the things that we did start putting into motion because they are more confident. They are more likely to voice their opinion about things. Speaking from somebody who has a 15 year old daughter and they are less embarrassed. I think about things that we maybe got to in our head about. Now, the downside, I think about this generation versus our generation is that we had maybe an in style or a cosmopolitan magazine to kind of pick apart and try to match our bodies to where they have. A wide variety of people on the internet and it does create this, oh my gosh, they didn't like my picture. Oh, I don't have a thousand followers. And so I think sometimes they put too much importance on that kind of stuff, instead of just realizing that they really just have to empower themselves and that that confidence will shine through and other people will appreciate it and grow from it.

Alysha: 10:11

Yeah. And how amazing and how also, like how much responsibility you have mama, like teenagers are no joke. My, children are still little, but you know, what is that like trying to navigate social media with a young daughter, cuz I can't even, you know, mine are little and I can't even put myself there yet.

Ashley: 10:33

I would say that a lot of times parents wanna teach their kids. Ugh. Just say no. And in the history of every single generation with teenagers, just say no, never, ever, ever works. So I think it's just creating that boundary and that. If this person messages you, if you see this situation to walk through all the potential examples so that their brains can kind of put it into perspective of what they should do in that moment. I would say also giving them the right to kind of make mistakes in little ways without constantly be monitoring it and teach them how to do things safely. I think a lot of the scary stuff, like whether it be sexting or sending each other nudes, I know like not for my daughter, but in my daughter's elementary school that started in grade four and five. So it happens so much earlier right. think you think it's going to. So I just think it's like anything else, just having really open honest discussions with them. And then unfortunately it's like teaching them if they're gonna do dumb stuff, how to do dumb stuff safely basically. But it's. Scary because so many more people have access to your kids, even when you make sure that their accounts are private and things like that, like it just, all of the different apps really aren't great at following their own supposed rules.

Alysha: 11:56

Yeah. I can only imagine. And I think that's solid, advice. I always in the back of my head, as my children get older each year thinking like, wow, how am I gonna navigate this? Right. because it's just something that our parents never had to

Ashley: 12:14

no. And I think with us, it was like MSN messenger or like AOL messenger that now it's just remembering that it's like, I love yeah. I would say too, make sure that you're on the same apps that your kids are on, just so that you can kind of see what the vibe is, what the security is like and kind of go from there. But yeah, that's basically their version of going to the mall is like who's in my group, chat with me and it's just such a shift in perspective for them. But it's interesting. Now I noticed on your website that you are an eating disorder, recovery, mentor, and advocate. Can you tell me what that role means and why it was so important to you to incorporate that into your business?

Alysha: 12:59

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, thank you for that question because it's a question that I am very, very careful how I answer. Because I honestly feel like as someone who battled with eating disorders for 18 years of my life it's an honor to be able to put mentor on the end of my name, cuz it was a very, very, very long journey for me. There was times I was trying to heal myself while being in the fitness industry, which was incredibly hard to do. I was literally around triggers all day long. And I actually tried to leave the fitness industry many times during my recovery, and I always ended up back there and I could never understand why. And I truly think it was a bigger picture that I just couldn't see, which is you know, more than anything. In the fitness industry. There's more, like-minded people like me needed. There's so much change that needs to happen. Especially so a part, my career used to be body building. I was a competitive bodybuilder for many, many years. It's kind of how I got my start in the fitness industry. And you know, to be very honest I didn't develop eating disorders because I did body building. I had skeletons in my closet way before that. But what body building did is it created almost like a safe Haven for my disorders to kind of get outta control and no one really noticed. Because it's part of the sport, right? Being extremely lean is part of the sport. Giving up everything to be dedicated, to working out and measuring your food and, doing all of this it's part of the sport. So I feel like many times people don't understand that they're experiencing an eating disorder when they're in. That world, because it's kind of part of it. Sadly. Now I don't wanna like, you know, just speak really harshly on body building because I did learn a lot of great things and make great friendships from that part of my life. But it was truly what woke me up to this extended cycle that I could not get out of. And to back up a little bit I experienced my first eating disorder at 12 and by the time I was 25, I had four. So it didn't happen overnight and my recovery didn't happen overnight and, you know me becoming a mother was really the big push that I needed to step into my healing and recovery journey and what I found when I was really ready to start healing You know, this relationship with food in my body was that a lot of the therapies that were out there really didn't speak to me. And so that's one thing that I try to be eating disorder mentor is to understand that there's so many layers to this. There's so many ways to heal yourself and it's the same approach that I have with fitness is the same approach I have with recovery. It doesn't have to look like everyone else. I try to really encourage people to seek what they need to start their healing journey. Cuz for me, what I found out is I always thought it was about my body and my relationship with my body, but that was just a single piece of it. I had not been dealing with trauma from my childhood. That was basically surfacing as an eating disorder. I didn't have maturity in how to regulate my emotions. That kind of moved into an eating disorder. There were so many layers to this that I found out you know, working on my relationship with food in my body was just one layer. There's so many more things here. So one thing that I try to just you know, bring an awareness piece to is any addiction. Eating disorders are complicated and they're complex. Sometimes it's taking two steps forward, one step back for years, until you finally find that one thing that really helps you. So you know, part of what that means for me in the community is. I really trust to be a different voice in the fitness community. I work a lot with one on one clients just on helping them repair their relationships and and letting them understand that sometimes you don't need a diet actually, you don't need to try harder actually what your body and your mind actually seeking is a balance and an acceptance and a love. So a huge part of my coaching and my message is it's a fine line walk between wanting goals for yourself and those being supported, and then also having a really great balance and healthy relationship with your body. That's really what as a mentor, I try to extend to my clients, but also just to really, you know, my brand I want to something different in the fitness industry. I think it just starts with sharing my own story.

Ashley: 17:51

I do appreciate you sharing that with me. I really think that for anybody suffering or for all of us to remember, like we are so hard on ourselves and for whatever reason, it's so much harder to let ourselves off the hook. But it's important to understand that whether it's healing from an eating disorder or any other trauma, I think we are programmed to think that it's okay, we do this step and this step and this step, and then it's done. But the majority of the time healing isn't ever that linear experience, it really is sort of this, like you said, the two steps forward, one step back and unfortunately, any sort of healing process is never really a speedy process. Like it's okay if you are in the thick of it and you feel like, why am I not over this? It can take years or decades to work through that. So I think that we all just need the reminder that. We all have stuff and we have to give ourselves grace and, let ourselves off the hook to get through it. However we're gonna get through it. That if you are noticing that these red flags are coming up for you to sort of step away in to say, what can I do differently or what is gonna serve me differently and find different ways and find different resources. Because whether it's like your app, finding people that are gonna lift you up and sort of lighten your souls load versus you being stuck in a situation where you're like, Ugh, I don't feel good in this gym, or, oh, I don't feel good with this person and feeling like you have to stay stuck.

Alysha: 19:25

I love that and I love that perspective. And one of the rules I have with my clients is quality of life over everything. Sometimes people are in this constant battle to try and find their balance and excuse me for being Frank, but balance is bullshit. It's totally, it's really, really not. Obtainable is obtainable is alignment like, is your life aligned with this experience that you want to have in this life? And so I think that's also something that is really hard for us as women, because we are such achievers and we want to do so many things, but yet we're trying to figure out how to balance them. One of my favorite sayings is to understand balance is to lose it. Right. And that's why our big role is like quality of life over everything. If your quality of life is diminishing, that's a great time to stop and audit and look around. And that tools that I didn't have early in my career when I was doing body building or when I was kind of letting my ego in the driver's seat of everything of just wanting to achieve and not really looking at like, Hey, what is this doing for your mind? What is this doing for your body? What is this doing for your quality of life? So I love that perspective, Ashley, and I think it's so important for women to hear that from other women.

Ashley: 20:47

We've been so programmed to think that we have to balance it all. I don't know about you, but have you ever heard a man be asked, oh, how are you gonna balance it all? You know, who's watching the kids like, oh, do, are you struggling with dad guilt today? Like, it just. It's one of those things that men are better at taking up space and being like, these are my boundaries. society tries to tell women that if you don't have, a perfect home life, a perfect work life, a perfect fitness schedule, a perfect, nutrition schedule, whatever that somehow we're failing. We just really need to shut down that voice of we should be doing everything because shoulds will fail us every single time. And like you said, just getting back to what is that quality of life for us? What is gonna serve us? What is worth our time and then just figure it out. But balance as it's presented to us is total bullshit. And it's not real.

Alysha: 21:42

Yes. Yes. Not real. And also I think with the merge of social media, Has made it harder to form your own idea of what being aligned is because you're constantly exposed to others, highlight reels and something that I've really tried to work on in this last year is. Not being a consumer of life, but being a creator of life, because so many times we sit there and scroll and we consume all these incredible things, right. That are being presented to us, that other people are doing, and we're just consuming them. We're not taking them and creating for ourself. And so one of the things you know, I've really tried to work on this year is not so much consuming and more creating. And sometimes that means social media breaks. Sometimes that means completely just letting go and letting you know, the quote unquote balance completely be diminished to find out, what's really underneath that. And then just having this really radical acceptance of myself and. I find When I start really allowing myself to accept who I am, it allows me to create. And that's so important, not just on, you know, a business level, but in your life, like what you're creating in your relationships, what you're creating for yourself. The experience in general and it's a hard thing to do. with what we have to combat on the daily. I feel like with social media and just our culture in general,

Ashley: 23:17

We put so much importance on social media and I think we all forget that if you're following an account and you're like, Ugh, why isn't my life like that? Maybe that's not the right account for you to follow. If it's an account that isn't making you feel good about yourself or maybe as much as the, all of the really pretty, you know, curated photos. We also have to remember that in that photo is probably a stack of Amazon boxes or messy, kitchen that nobody cleaned up after breakfast or a stack of laundry that they just don't wanna show us. And to not let comparison steal our joy. I do also think too, that we've put so much importance on having everybody like us or having the approval of potentially people on social media and it's people that we don't necessarily know in real life. So why should we care? But it's really remembering to almost make a list of the people that you would really care if you actually disappointed, or you would really care if they were actually mad at you or felt a certain way, and then just focus on however many people that looks like for you and to make all the other voices or the other opinions, just a little bit more quieter.

Alysha: 24:31

I love that. Can I steal that?

Ashley: 24:33

Absolutely.

Alysha: 24:36

that's such a good such a good exercise There are often how negative social media can be. And luckily on my side of my page, I don't really run into a lot of it. I'm a big believer in, what you put out into the world definitely comes back to you. And so, thankfully I don't deal with a lot of negativity and able to meet, and I'm sure you have with your platform, so many incredible women that I wouldn't be, privy to knowing outside of social media. And so I also think that that's like a really Good way to kind of look at things like if your social media isn't a positive place for you, like you're the creator and you can like change that narrative just as quick. Right. So I love that exercise. I'm I'm definitely gonna steal it. That that's a good one.

Ashley: 25:22

I love to that it, sometimes your social media friends can become your best friends. It kind of reminds me of like that meme where it's like social media has become like the version of the drunk girls in the bathroom, because they rally behind you, and they really are there to support you whether you've ever met them in real life or not.

Alysha: 25:43

Yes. I love that. It's like the Oprah talk in the bathroom. Like you don't need him. You got this exactly via DM

Ashley: 25:52

When you work with clients, do you do it just through the app or do you do a mix of online and in person.

Alysha: 26:01

I generally carry a very small amount of one-on-one clients. It's really important to me that I keep my client number small, just so I can make sure that you know, I met a hundred percent of my energy to them. But in the upcoming months really excited, we have brought on an entire team of coaches and very shortly, we are going to be offering one on one coaching through cru. What's kind of amazing about this and something that I've never seen before. And when I visioned it, it was really important to me that every coach have their own specialty because not every person is looking for someone who is just fitness or who's just macros or who's just hormones, like. I really to create an entire team of female coaches that could serve our audience for whatever they might need. So what's gonna be great about this. Myself, along with other amazing coaches are going to be available for people to do one-on-one coaching. So you can explore anything that you might have really wanted to, but have never been able to find the coach to match you up for that. Or you've never had it all in one place. So that will be rolling out very soon. We're hoping in the fall for that to be brought on. And then, we have been online coaching who girl, I have been coaching online for almost eight years now. So it's to say we got it down, pat, we got it down, pat And then, you know, we would also really, really like to encourage anyone who just has questions you can reach out to me. You can reach out to anyone on the cru app. That's a big thing. And part of our mission is that we never want women to walk around not feeling understood or not feeling heard. So we do have a 24 7 support line on Cru where you can email any question that you have and either myself or someone on staff will get back to you to answer that question, cuz that's a huge part of the learning process, right? Is one being heard, but two, you know, being able to problem solve in real time, we really feel like that's how you can develop. A lot of longevity in your fitness and nutrition program is just if you understand it, right

Ashley: 28:09

well in creating that safe space to be able to ask questions, cuz I feel like that is such a hurdle where people. Just don't wanna feel like they are dumb or they don't wanna admit maybe that they don't know something that I feel like even just having that 24 hour connection where they can really answer the question or get that answer, I think is gonna be a game changer.

Alysha: 28:34

I sure hope so. What I like to explain to people is the fitness industry is not a billion dollar industry because it tells you exactly what to do, or it makes you feel really good about yourself. One of the, probably the biggest misconceptions when I start working with clients one on one. They almost immediately feel shame or disappointment or just general frustration that they can't eat perfectly, or they can't work out perfectly. And I try to explain to them how normal it is to not eat perfectly. There is no perfect way of eating. There is only a conditioning that an industry has tried to tell you that you should be following. When in actuality, there is no perfect way to go about this, cuz everyone is so different and it's such an on an individual level. So if anyone can take anything from today, know that it's normal to not perfectly. And it's okay. No matter what the fitness industry has told you.

Ashley: 29:40

I think that is such a good perspective too, because too many people think about good foods or bad foods. And realistically, if there was a perfect diet out there that was a one mold fits all, then there really Wouldn't be 50,000 different types of ways to meal prep or diets for everybody.

Alysha: 29:59

Absolutely. Now I am about six weeks post opp from having my breast implants removed. I know you also had your breast implants removed. Can you tell me a little bit about how long you had them or some of the symptoms that you started to notice about breast implant illness? Yes, I'll answer this question, but can I interject and just ask you like how you're doing and how you're feeling.

Ashley: 30:28

So the actual physical recovery from the surgery did take me a little bit longer than I anticipated. Like it's still kind of awkward to move in certain places. And it's still obviously sore where I had in my mind that it was gonna be like, Ugh, three weeks, four weeks. I'm gonna be totally better. But I think because I had compared to any time I had had surgery really was like in my twenties where now I'm almost in my forties. So I had to kind of adjust my mindset a little bit. But from the second I woke up from the surgery, I could breathe better than I have in probably 10 years. I had really bad joint pain to the point that I could barely make it up. Like a flight of stairs without having to motivate myself a little bit. I've had my joint pain pretty much a hundred percent decrease. I had weird food sensitivities where I would like eat something. And then all of a sudden I'd get like a rash on my face. I haven't had any food related issues in the last six weeks. I've even had gut issues that I think were related to some of those food sensitivities that's gone away. Even the inflammation in my hands and my face, like I look like I'm five, 10 years younger. Like it's just, so shocking how immediate was. Now. There are some things that I would imagine are gonna take a little bit longer and it's just remembering to sort of be patient with my body and being patient with like the healing process. But thankfully I did notice changes right away.

Alysha: 31:55

Oh my gosh. That makes my heart full to hear just when you've been on the journey, which is the breast implant illness journey, it can be so isolating, so frustrating. And so just confusing. So when you've been on that journey and you hear anyone has any amount of healing, it's almost like your healing with them, right? To answer your question for years, I mean, six years to be exact, I had no idea what was wrong with my body. I was going to multiple doctors and multiple specialists, and I just kept hearing your labs are fine. It's in your head. Or, you know what? You're a new mom. This is part of it. You're gonna be tired. And, going back to like being aligned in my life, there's nothing about my life where. I'm gonna be okay. Not feeling good every day. That's just not how I was ever going to accept living my life. And I knew that there was something drastically, increasingly getting worse about my health, but I couldn't figure out why. So when you hear someone else's healing, it's emotional for you, right? Cause you know that they've walked that journey as well, probably. For me discovering my healing was only because other women started sharing their stories and that's how powerful women can be. When they come to together. So to answer your question, my first symptom was probably six months after I got implants, but I did not make the correlation at the time. Six months after I had gotten implants, I got hypothyroidism, which was kind of out of the ordinary for me. Even though I had been body building and I had been really asking a lot of my body, nothing that I was doing was supporting just out of nowhere to get hypothyroidism. So I didn't actually end up getting on medication at the time. I really worked with my nutrition you know, to get myself in a better place. And I really truly felt I had gotten my body to the. Getting sicker and it was small things. It was you know, random rashes that would be on my jawline or my chest that would come and go the fatigue. And I like to think of myself. I'm kind of a tough cookie. I was raised to be tough, in fact, a little too tough. And so like when there was days that I kind of, like, you probably had experience, I couldn't get out of bed. I knew that there was something wrong and I almost in my mind had to make. This mission with myself every day. Like you only get one thing to do today, cuz you're gonna be so tired. So is it gonna be play with your kids? Is it gonna be, do a workout? Is it going to be, work? Like what is it? And it's just this constant overwhelming coaching to push yourself, to do your daily life when you don't feel well. I noticed the same thing. I started aging. I started having inflammation all over my body. I would do a workout and it would take me four to five days to recover if I could even recover at all. But the biggest thing that started happening is a lot of breast pain, a lot of heart palpitations. You know, anxiety, out of nowhere in my coaching, I work a lot with people of cognitive behavior therapies and how to work with your central nervous system and anxiety. I teach breathing methods, you know, for a living. So I'm pretty well versed. on how to manage anxiety. And I kept having anxiety that I could not control, and I could not figure out where it was coming from. It was like my body was in this constant state of fight or flight. So those were just a couple of my symptoms. Over six years I wrapped up about 30 plus different symptoms, my hair falling out you know, towards the end I was passing out. And that was kind of, I mean, all the way up until about three weeks before I had my surgery my health was declining at pace that they were actually scared that I wasn't going to be able to be fit enough to go through surgery. so it was quite a journey and I did not put together that this could be coming from my implants until probably two to three years ago.

Ashley: 36:15

it is one of those things that whether the doctors didn't have the knowledge at the time, or it just wasn't something that was talked about, but. The only warning I ever got is that scar tissue could build up around them. I never got told any of the potential symptoms. And for me, it wasn't until two years ago that I had ever heard about breast implant illness. And I had had them at that point for 10 years. So it is also one of those things that, because breast implant illness, isn't a medically recognized illness all medical professionals aren't trained or don't have knowledge to go, oh, I'm noticing you're having a lot of these symptoms. Do you have breast implants? They blame it on our hormones or aging or all of these different things, but yeah, when you go into any like an optometrist, a dentist, even your GP, it never even occurs to them to think, to ask, which I really hope if anything changes with the people that are talking about this, I really hope that that's the thing that changes and, I would hope that a lot of people, if they realize that these symptoms are so common, And I think that the percentage was something like 60% of people who get breast implants end up having some sort of these symptoms that they just sort of reevaluate, whether it is the right choice for them or whether it's something that they wanna have ongoing surgeries. Cuz I knew that mine obviously weren't like lifetime devices and that I probably should have gotten them out, you know, six years before I had. But I think that that's another piece that people kind of forget. Do you really wanna pay to have this surgery every five years? Do you really want that, you know, toll on your body and is your body at 20 gonna handle it the same way at 40 or at 60?

Alysha: 38:02

Absolutely. And you know, I think. For me, what I found through this journey is if you are constantly hearing there is nothing wrong with you. Your labs are totally fine. It's not a sign for you to go home and figure out how to deal with it. It's a sign for you to advocate for yourself. Yes. Because even though we are so advancing so many levels of medicine, we also have huge gaps and massive gaps in terms of women's health. The substances and devices that are being told to us are safe, that we're putting in our bodies. There's really not extended research on for us to know what happens past the initial months of, putting these devices in our body. But, you know, if I'm. Transparent. So I have Lyme disease and I actually did not know I had Lyme disease during the time that I got my breast implants, but what's really sticks out to me that I hoped to change is that my surgeon never even asked me, had I been tested for an autoimmune disease, because at that time I knew that I was anemic. So I already knew I had some sort of autoimmune condition. There's misinformation out there about who actually qualifies for this surgery and who doesn't. I feel like so many women including myself, could have had a different experience deciding to get implants. If I would've known the risk that specifically holds for women with autoimmune conditions. I try to be really careful about sharing my story. I never want any woman to hear my story and think that her choices means that I judge her by them. Everyone has the right to make whatever choice you want to about your body, but I want women to be actually informed with what can happen with breast implant. And so I share my story, not to create fear, but to really just to create advocacy for yourself and awareness for what the possibility is.

Ashley: 40:01

Yeah, I love that. It is one of those things that if you choose to get them, like, it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or whatever the case may be. I just want people just like you just to have as much knowledge as possible and really for our medical system to catch up and just say, Hey, like you said, if you have autoimmune disorders, if you have say a compromised immune system, like potentially somebody who's had cancer, this is gonna put you in a higher risk potentially for these. And I just wish that they would research a little bit more so that they could understand why, you know, Certain people get it commonly, why other people don't. I wish that it was like a actual red flag that a lot of doctors had to just give you with the informed consent. But then also when we are starting to notice depression out of nowhere, migraines outta nowhere skin conditions, out of nowhere, all of these things that they're trained to ask. Oh, Hey, have you ever considered that it's implants?

Alysha: 41:05

Absolutely.

Ashley: 41:07

When you had yours out, did you notice any significant changes?

Alysha: 41:15

So I tried to be very realistic because so much of the research that I was going off of was anecdotal. I literally came to the decision to explant from listening to other women's stories and it's human nature especially on social media for there to be a little bit of a highlight reel version of explanting I'm. Sure. And so I'm kind of naturally a skeptical person and I really was a little skeptical going into it. I didn't want to set myself up for failure thinking this is this magic cure and everything is going to disappear on day one. But what is really shocking is that so much disappeared on day one. I've shared these pictures before on my social media, but everyone has shared the photo of like the morning of your surgery and the morning after and how much change initially happens, but kind of what you mentioned that first breath that I took out of surgery, I knew I'd made the right decision because I knew. If me being able to properly breathe was the only thing that improved explanting it was worth. It cause I hadn't even noticed that I had been living my life for eight years, not really breathing fully. So that right there was kind of like this spark that I had, that I was like, wow, this was 100% the rest for me. I had had constant earring for two years and it immediately went away, my skin, my hair, my eyes immediately moisture again. And this was all within 24 hours. And you know, some people are like, well, you know, you get medication during surgery and you get all this. And I totally understand that. But each day, Things were improving. Now, what I will also say is that when I got my implants removed, it was almost like I experienced an ego death of some sort. And that sounds super dramatic. But if you've ever been through this process, it's a very intense emotional process because not only are you doing something for your health, but you're also removing for me anyways, I was removing something that I thought was part of my identity and something that I thought that I needed and releasing it. I almost feel like has accelerated my healing a lot as well. Not just because I don't have the implants in me anymore. You know, disrupting my central nervous system and my immune system, but I just feel like releasing that part of, I don't need breast implants to feel good about myself. I don't need. These objects to feel worthy. Like I think that had a healing component in itself and I just felt different. Like obviously, literally I was different in my body, but mentally I felt different. My head has felt clearer. My anxiety is so much more manageable. And it's, like I said, the second I took my first breath. I knew it was the right decision for.

Ashley: 44:19

I love the fact that you've also experienced a change in health because there are cases where people do explant and they don't unfortunately notice any changes. And I think that touching on even the psychological part of it is so important that it isn't just for your physical health. A lot of us got implants because we either felt like we needed them or we wanted them or for whatever reason. So it is that emotional piece of coming to terms with your bodies looking different, or, you know, not having that device that you felt like you needed. And that part, I think less people know how to prepare for, and until you're in the moment, it's gonna look differently for everybody. But I do think that's important part to kind of mention that that is a part of it as well.

Alysha: 45:07

Yeah. And, understand that explanting is removing the source. A lot of people, it's not this magical cure and healing requires action and it requires work. And along with taking my implants out, I also rearrange my nutrition. Like I never have before. I no longer eat for aesthetics. I eat for health and I eat to give my body exactly what it needs to recover from this process. I meditate, I, prioritize, sleep and self care. I cut out, you know, stimulants like can go on and on. So to say that my feeling is just from explant, I think would be kind of a lie. It is the source. You remove it, it allows healing to happen very, very quickly, but women also do need to understand that it does require outside things besides just explanting. But I, maybe I would love to hear your insight on this. Ashley, I found explanting though has made me just appreciate my body in a new way that. That I want to take care of it in this way. Is it kind of the same for you?

Ashley: 46:14

I found for me, like there were times where I literally felt like I was trapped inside my body because it was like mentally I had the ability to be like, go, go, go. And my body was like, Nope, we're not gonna do that. I was stuck in bed that I do think that it is important to understand that even once your implant are out, you do have to heal. Unfortunately, the havoc that it did cause on your body. So it's like healing your gut through nutrition, through, you know, better, better methods that potentially you didn't have before, because now you're dealing with health issues or like a repercussion of health issues that you didn't have before. So I know for me, it's like once I'm more physically healed from the actual surgery itself, that it is really prioritizing what is gonna be the best for my body and being hyper aware of it because nobody wants to feel sick if they absolutely don't have to. So it is really healing that part so that I can get better overall and continuously get better and almost feel like I'm extending the time that I got back now, because it, it really does feel like time is a gift and it makes me appreciate being in the moment more.

Alysha: 47:31

I couldn't agree more. And I think as humans, we're flawed, especially to live in a modern society that we don't really understand the importance of health until it's gone, unfortunately, but what's really great about this journey that I've been on is I feel like I have a second chance. My whole life, my body has kind of been a tool. It has been such a huge part of, just being in the fitness industry, how you view your body and how your body looks. It's really hard for that. Not to be part of your identity. And so to make this decision is ultimately like me telling the universe I want a second shot at this. I wanna do this, right. I no longer need to know how my body looks. I need to know how my body feels. Cause I really want to enjoy my life in this experience as much as possible. I have two little boys that really need their mom and I have a wonderful unity of women that I like it or not have an influence on. And so for the next, however many years I get to be on this rock. I wanna do it the right way and I wanna do it as healthy as possible. So it isn't in a weird way, like a second chance. And there's there's nothing wrong with that, right?

Ashley: 48:47

No, and perspective, like ours really only comes after we've been in a specific situation. So I think it is really hard if, Maybe in a different situation, whether it's implants, whether it's just, you've never experienced issues with your health. It's so hard to, sort of see where we're at, but I think it's just a journey that it's like, you just have to trust everything that you've gone through and then just find whatever end result is gonna be the best for you both mentally and physically.

Alysha: 49:17

Yes. And you know, I've gotten to meet so many women on this journey. And one of the things that I always like to. include When I tell my story is that when I found out about breast implant illness, I did not immediately schedule an implant. It took me two years to arrive to this decision. It took me a lot of therapy to get here because I had so much tied up into these implants that if I'm being totally transparent, there was a part of me. That's like, well, I'm not that sick. I really, really like having these, these make me feel really good about myself. I don't know if I can feel the same way without them, so I'm gonna endure it. And, you know, as. Illness progressed. It finally got to a point where I was like, okay, I can't endure this. I have to really look at who am I without them? What does this process look like? And so I always want to tell women that there's no pressure just because you suspect that, you might be experiencing breast implant illness. That doesn't mean that you need to rush into any decision. This is a very intense process to go through and it's okay to take your time.

Ashley: 50:28

I think that is important too. I think do your research find other people that have gone through breast implant illness that aren't coming from a place that says you have to do this. Like, there are a lot of really fantastic resources for you just to, do your research, to talk to other people. Dr. Amanda Savage brown is one that has a breast implant illness like education and support group. But without the judgment of you have to, because I think if in any industry or any person, if they're saying it has to look like this, you have to do it this way. Then I would run in the opposite direction. Find somebody who's gonna listen to you. That has information that is really gonna be somebody who supports you, whether you wanna take them out or leave them in, but help you come to an informed decision.

Alysha: 51:18

100%. I got turned to the breast implant illness page by Nicole on Facebook. And that was my first kind of introduction to breast implant illness. And then that kind of carried over to finding different resources and different women to talk to. And eventually I came to the point and I'm not sure what specifically led me there, but it was maybe my fourth or fifth trip to the ER. At this point I had passed out in our driveway and I remember sitting in the ER, being like, this is worth a shot, even if I don't feel better. After I take them out, this is worth a shot because I can't live like this anymore. And so I think every woman who's on this journey has this moment of where you walk into that decision yourself. I really try to encourage women, to allow yourself, to have that moment of where it feels like your choice. And it doesn't feel like pressure from anyone else.

Ashley: 52:20

Yeah. Cause I think when it becomes a pressure decision, then you're more likely to have regrets or maybe doubt your decision.

Alysha: 52:29

Absolutely. Do you know when you kind of walked into that decision was like, okay, I'm gonna explant?.

Ashley: 52:35

For me, when I first had heard about breast implant illness. I had had my implants for 10 years. And so when I was really. Starting to look at all of the different symptoms. On the list I had, I probably had like 25 out of the 30 symptoms that at that moment, once it was kind of a light bulb for me of, oh, it's definitely the implants. I was ready to take them out sort of in that moment, but I had had so many other health issues for so long that again, everybody's like, ah, it's aging, it's normal, it's stress. That every medical practitioner, all my tests came back normal. They couldn't really figure out what it was or they blamed it on, you know, other things which made me doubt, myself or basically like they would say that there's a rise in asthma because of the pollution in the world. The rise in my asthma was most likely because of my implants, which was another thing with breathing or just even Changes in being able to walk a certain distance without feeling like I was out of breath, stuff like that changed right away or having extreme dry eyes, they kind of blamed on the pandemic and working with computers in a different setting a little bit more that part remains to be seen whether it was the computer thing or that was the breast implant illness. But there were so many things prior to even knowing what breast implant illness was for me that once I kind of was able to put it all together, it was like a light bulb going off over my head. Now the downside was because I really learned about it at the beginning of the pandemic. It took so long to be able to find a doctor in my area that wanted to take it out because I had a lot of plastic surgeons just tell me that I needed to actually just change my implants and were trying to talk me into keeping them versus giving, you know, both options. And then because elective surgeries weren't commonly happening. It still took me another year after that to be able to have the surgery. And I was thankful that I also had the money at the time in my savings to be able to do it, I know my explant surgery. I got my implants out. I got a breast lift and I got a little bit of side boob lipo, and it cost me$15,000. So I think that's also a big piece in this journey that, because it isn't medically recognized. It's not something that insurance for me anyways would cover. So everything was out of pocket.

Alysha: 55:07

Wow. Yes, girl, girl. You've been in it and around it. Huh? Like and I love hearing everyone's story cuz there's similarities, but I just hope you know that what you went through and how you've coming out of it. I just hope you're really proud of yourself cuz that's not a easy thing to do. It's not an easy decision to make. Through this process, I've had a lot of people maybe not intentionally know that they're trying to discredit my experience or invalidate my experience. And I think the biggest reason that that happens is because whenever you're healing yourself, you're doing something that is stimulating on another person. And sometimes people aren't ready to heal themselves or what I find most. Sometimes people are not willing to do what it takes to heal themselves. And so many times I've heard like, oh, you're flying to Florida to work with that surgeon. That seems like a lot. Oh, you detox every day. That's. Like a lot, like I've been told so much of what I'm doing is like just too much, but in actuality, like not living your life healthy and happy, that's too much to me.. And it's really cuz I do get a lot of women who reach out and they're like, no one around me is supportive. You know, this is such a big risk. What do I do? And just have to look at that is that you know, sometimes when you're healing yourself, it stirs up something in another person that they're not ready to heal yet and know that that's not your responsibility. To take on the only thing you're responsible is following your intuition and what you think is going to heal yourself, your body, your mind, and know that if you're on that path can never be the wrong choice. You're you're never gonna make the wrong choice, try and do the best for yourself. So that's kind of a side effect that I think a lot of women don't really think about until they decide to explant is the cost and the, logistics and like, how am I actually gonna pull this off? Right.

Ashley: 57:06

well, and other people's opinions, I think is one of those things that kind of going back to what I was saying earlier, those five or three or however many people that really are an important voice in your, life, really question is this person that's trying to give me advice in this moment or try to discourage me, are they on my list of like people that I really care about? Or are they somebody showing me their true colors? And now I know that maybe I just won't share as much with them that I think that. Change is hard for people and whether it's for yourself or whether it's for other people around you, that they do sometimes take it as if somebody else is making a change. Then it must mean something about me, or am I gonna lose that person on their journey? Or it just is. So almost like a fear based that you do have to really question is this noise, really something that needs to come into play here. Because I think a lot of the times, whether you're on a fitness journey, whether it's healing from a health related thing, whether it is sort of anything changing a relationship, too many people, I think sometimes feel comfortable voicing their opinions when they really just need to be there sort of cheering you on because we all do have to come up with whatever is the right journey for us or the right decision for us. And our opinion really at the end of the day is the only one that truly matters.

Alysha: 58:35

Yes. Louder for the people in the back. right. I felt a lot of guilt too. I felt guilt that I had made a decision that impacted my health that now, you know, was such a big financial move for my family. I felt guilt about that. I felt guilt that I had maybe influenced other women to get implants, you know, not directly. I don't ever remember myself being like everyone should get fake boobs. But you know, if someone asked me you know, what my experience was in the beginning, I was, you know, I was like, yeah, they're great. You know, so I kind of felt guilty for that. Cause I thought, man, what if I influenced a woman to get breast implants? And now she's sick. but it kind of goes back to what you were saying is that's part of the healing process itself is you know, it's really. Embodying this acceptance for not just your body but your mind and your journey and where you've came you know, to be, so I love that insight that you have, because it really, really does. I know for me, it was a completely like life altering experience. I felt different when my implants were out, I felt more like myself than I ever had physically and now slowly, you know, every month after explant I feel emotionally and like, mentally more like myself.

Ashley: 1:00:00

I do think it's important that the grief, the anger, like the loss, I feel like all of the emotions that come up are super valid, that this idea that we take'em out and it's like, Life is just like walking into the sunset and we're super happy and everything is okay at that point. It really, I feel like the explant is just the beginning and healing. Isn't linear. Like it, it's gonna take a while and it's gonna look different for everybody. So however you feel afterwards just know that there's resources to reach out whether it's different therapies, whether it is whatever self care looks like for you, just to know that you're not alone in your journey.

Alysha: 1:00:42

Absolutely. There's, an also an amazing community of women behind you. I've never experienced anything else like it just how quickly you can connect to other people's stories and the support that happens. You know, it's really amazing and it's there if you want it.

Ashley: 1:01:01

Thank you. So for having this conversation with me today,

Alysha: 1:01:06

Thank you so much for having me.

Ashley: 1:01:08

Can you tell everybody if they're looking for Cru fitness or they're looking for you online, where they can find you?

Alysha: 1:01:15

Absolutely. So my Instagram handle Alicia, a Wilson, A L Y S H A A W I L S O N. I know that was a long one. Thanks for hanging in there for me. That's where you can get all of your information or Alicia wilson.com as well as I share a lot of my breast, implant journey and just more of what I'm finding with my healing. So feel free to drop by if you have a question, my door's always open.

Ashley: 1:01:44

Awesome. Thank you.

1:01:50

Thank you so much for joining us today for this episode of the filled up cup podcast, don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a review. If you like what you hear, you can also connect with us@filledupcup.com. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.